Previously… Mom said thanks. I joked, “Don’t thank me yet, I’ve just started being your daughter. I still want to know more about those feelings and being a girl. You haven’t begun to tell me how to do it or about birth control.” … “Being a girl is what you should be about; you don’t ‘do it’.”
Mom and I had a long discussion. When we were done I went to my room and Dad and Mom got together. I heard Mom say, “This child better be a boy.” Mom, I learned preferred girls but I got her to question that.
I finished my chores and had talked with Marie twice as well as Sandy and Jeanette. Jeanette wanted to have fun with her niece as I prepared for my date with Kirk. Jenn was twenty minutes away and coming over because she wanted to show me a few more dance moves. I quickly finished changing except for make-up. After we went over the dancing I knew she asked dad to help show me some swing rock-n-roll.
New Girl in My Life - 3- The Daughter and Girl Now Showing
“Dad’s old but he’s not that old.”
Jenn laughed and asked me how old my dad was. I just knew he was older than mom so I guessed 32. “How old do you think my sister is?”
“She looks like she’s 24-25, but she was a pretty good teacher when I had her in sixth grade. That was four years ago when she got married. I suspect she is 30, maybe 29.”
Jeanette called her sister and told Mom my guess. Mom told me to get undressed as I was now grounded. Mom said she was 26. Dad and Jenn both shook their heads yes.
“She can’t be 26; it’s bad enough I am 16 and she’s 30.”
Dad said, “When she went to see you, she wanted to give you a place to go for Christmas, but she fell in love with you. She came home and asked about adopting you, saying we would be foster parents at first with plenty of time. She told me you were biologically a boy but said you were really a darling girl. I tried talking to her, but she wouldn’t talk until I agreed to visit you for myself. She calmed down and was so happy.
I knew I had to sincerely go for a visit, though I did tell her it would look funny for a 26 year old woman to have a 16 year old daughter.”
Mom asked if I was comfortable that she was 26, because we both needed to get ready for the dance.
I changed to a mini-dress and Jeanette helped me with my make-up. Kirk showed up early and wanted to take me to get a bite to eat. My stomach was nervous but I was hungry. Mom took pictures. We went and ate and were to the dance by 8:30. I shivered when Kirk’s hands were on my hips and straddling my panties. Sometimes I melted as he drew me close and our hands were on the back of the other.
His hands would slip down on my butt and while it felt good it reminded me I didn’t have the shape of a real girl there. He seemed to like it as I had to tell him to get his hands up. Once I relaxed my arms and allowed my hands to slip down on his butt. I thought it was weird as a guy, but I liked how he felt as a girl.
It was a very good evening, until another boy teased Kirk about dancing with me. I had to hold Kirk until Marie’s date calmed him down.
I wanted to go to the girl’s room to cry but Donna Bishop and another senior encouraged me not to run. Donna told me to go and give Kirk a big kiss which I did. Kirk lifted me up and twirled me around as we kissed. Some people applauded as we unlocked lips.
The wisecracker opened his mouth again but he was told to leave the dance or be in trouble come Monday. Kirk followed him out and I guess there were a few punches before security arrived, but they didn’t see the punches. Kirk was quickly going from a fly on the wallpaper to being noticed as tough and respected. I was in the house five minutes before curfew, but that included five minutes we kissed on the doorstep.
Mom and Dad both greeted me shortly after I was through the door. Jenn was close by. Jenn was going to sleep on the couch but I gave her my bed as long as I could sleep on the floor next to her. Jenn was becoming like a big sister, but it was her sister who she was overly proud of.
I had changed into a pair of teddy bear pajamas and was sitting on the bed visiting. Mom came into visit. When she sat down on the bed I saw her panties under her nightshirt. Jenn asked what just distracted me. I told her Mom has a string sticking out of her panty.
“Hasn’t your mom told you about tampons and your period? I was totally embarrassed; Mom and Jenn both felt bad for me. I was ready to cry, but Mom and Jeanette both tickled me until I began to wet by pants.
“I thought women didn’t have periods when they were pregnant.”
Mom shared that the pregnancy would need to wait. I suggested they needed a long weekend away with me and Jeanette watching Bree.
It was mid April after a gym class that I noticed blood on my panty and another girl noticed some blood in the shower stall after I used it. Most of the girls knew about it by the end of school. Marie and Sandy took me for a treat to celebrate my womanhood.
Mom asked me if I was going out with my girlfriends this weekend to celebrate. “You might not believe it, but I feel lousy.” I said, “I probably wouldn’t be good company and I would just like to be home with family.”
I was surprised as I still had boy parts and was not sure if the bleeding meant boyhood was done.
It was a good stay home weekend. Mom was enjoying talking with me about being a girl. Marie was over and we were talking about being a girl. Mom was back in the room but I didn’t know it. I asked “Marie, I was embarrassed when Jasmine notice I was bleeding, but inside I was so happy because it meant I was a real girl. Do normal girls have goose bumps and get tingly when their breasts grow or someone brushes up against them?”
“How long does it take to get over the yuckiness of the blood?” Marie started to laugh and I heard Mom’s giggle behind me. “Well, I don’t think it’s funny. You shouldn’t me laughing at me.” I began to cry and started to run out of the room, but Mom caught me.
“Woe there young lady do not run away. Were not laughing at you, we’re just tickled the way you express things at times.” Mom pulled me up in her arms and Marie was also giving me a hug.
“You know Jess, it may sound funny but you help me appreciate things I might not have noticed without you. Sandy and others have said similar things.”
“Why don’t they and you share that with me?”
“Dah, maybe because they think it is strange to learn some things from a girl they thought was a boy. Even if they like it, they might be afraid to say it to others. If you weren’t one of my best friends, I don’t know if I would have been such a good friend back if I had time to think about it.”
Mom, “Jess, I am learning and as Marie says, appreciating more things just by having you in my life.”
Marie spoke, “I don’t think I thanked you for all you have done. I am lucky to have you and your mom as friends.” My body was tingly and getting aroused, but I it was not sexual as much as it was sensual and how Marie’s friendship was as special and moved me even without being sexually involved.
“I can’t believe Mrs. Petersen’s your Mom and you have a family as a girl. Mrs. P you are even more awesome that I thought before,” said Marie. Amongst the spoken words there are so many unspoken communications and just sharing to time together. Like I was sit next to Mom or Marie and begin reading what they were reading, or scanning the pages while resting on their shoulder.
“Both my parents are awesome. But part of Dad being awesome is he loves Mom.” I could feel Mom getting hot with feelings as she cried and hugged me tighter. Dad finally came in the room with Bree and to ask if things were okay, but we just drew them into the hug. Everyone was quiet, even Bree knew it was a special moment.
“It’s not just a woman thing Mr. P, we think Mom Petersen has a macho man with some of a woman’s sensitivity that makes you an awesome guy,” said Marie.
“I’ll take that as a compliment,” Dad responded.
“That’s an awesome compliment honey.” Mom suggested that Marie call her parents and stay the night if it was okay. Marie suggested she needed to get home and help with something. Mom suggested her parents could do without her. Marie called and Mom was right.”
Mom and Dad left us alone, but Mom made a strong suggestion that we just talk and have a pajama party. “Does that mean we can invite Sandy?” Within a half hour Sandy was over and we were doing each other’s nails or redoing hair. It was 10:30 when we checked on Bree and asked Mom if she could stay with us.
Mom liked the idea, but when she looked at Dad, I was embarrassed by what they might have been thinking. Sandy was the first one to speak up, “I wouldn’t mind having time alone with him, if I were Mrs. P.”
I said, “Sandy, please don’t say something like that about my Dad.”
“I’m sorry Jessie, but he doesn’t look like a dad. He looks like he is only twenty something.”
“He is and Mom is only twenty-six.” We all laughed and talked about me being their sixteen year old daughter. Marie said Mom could model for Victoria Secrets and Sandy suggested Dad could be on a large poster as a “hottie”. I was changing Bree’s diaper and the smell brought us back to reality.
“They even make beautiful babies,” shared Marie. Bree smiled and we all laughed. “You agree with us don’t you Bree.” She laughed and smiled even more.
We got a lot of blankets and towels and made a bed on the floor for Bree and us around her. She fell asleep as we talked another two hours. Mom came in and said we needed to go to bed and be quiet so Bree could sleep. Mom visited with us about 15 minutes. It was not like having a mother in the room but an older sister that we looked up too.
Marie asked, “Mrs. P how did you meet your husband?”
Mom started to share, but then had second thoughts about it. “Mrs. P it’s not like you’re a regular mom, plus I’ve already asked my mom how met a long time ago.”
“We like and admire our mom’s but it’s not like they are hot and our dad’s are hot too.”
“If my husband is hot maybe I should send you home to take cold showers,” Mom said with a laugh and a smile.
“Mrs. P…” “Mom, don’t say something like that.”
Mom smirked and got up and left. Marie spoke, “You know Jess you look and act a lot like your mom.” Sandy agreed with Marie. “Your biological mom is pretty nice too, but it is something how you look more and more like Ms Petersen.”
I must of fell asleep first because my pajama bottom was off when I woke up, luckily my gaff was in place. There was a cherry smashed by my hips. My mascara was overdone as were my lips. Mom had taken a picture of my face, but thankfully not more.
My Mom said quite strongly we needed to be careful about pictures like one with the cherry they should to be sent to others nor shown on internet. That morning we made a pact not to do something to each other that could be misused. Sandy had us agree we wouldn’t even do it to others. “That way” she says, “if someone ever accused one of us we would know better.” It was my first covenant between girlfriends and my heart engraved it with honor.
Mom called me to help with breakfast, but personally came in to check me when I said I needed to clean my face. She thanked me for taking Brianna and congratulated me on hosting my first sleepover.
I was walking Marie home when my real mother called out to say hello. Marie took my hand and we went over to my old house. My mother said she was pleased to see how pretty I was. She wanted to know if I would be willing to have some old family jewelry. She gave me a hug when I smiled and said yes.
My brother in high school was home and visited without giving me the traditional hard time. He said he was sorry about how he treated me, but he was still more comfortable with a sister someplace else, instead of a brother who became a girl and lived with him.
“It hurts some, but I know it is probably true for all of us. I hope sometime I can be part of both my families.”
I visited with my mother alone for a few minutes. It was awkward saying things were good with the Petersens. While I missed my family, I didn’t have any regrets about being with the Petersens. Mom heard I would soon me officially adopted by the Petersens.
I shared, “It is spooky that Mom Petersen anticipates things like you did when I was Jeff. Sometimes she knows things even before I do something.” My mother shared, your other mom has more experience being a girl, and part of it is the instinct of being a mother.
“I am sorry I did not grow up as your daughter, I think it would have been good for both of us.” My mother smiled and hugged me and Marie and I left.
Mrs. Ford was happy to hear that I had a good visit with my mother. “You know she will always be your mother; like Sharon but different.”
“Yes, I know; I hope someday it will be nice someday and I can celebrate both. Part of me feels guilty, but I need to see myself as a Petersen now.”
The baseball Coach had told Coach Tripp about my catching ability so I was now recruited onto the softball team. Other students didn’t know, but we had an agreement I would not catch more than half the games.
I had planned to watch Kirk play baseball, but that now was not usually possible. We continued to date but as Kirk became known as a good pitcher and ballplayer competition arose. I was kind of happy since I didn’t want to be with just one boy.
But it also hurt as it was harder being just a friend after we dated. Somebody had the need to say I was not as beautiful my Mom. I knew it, but it hurt my feelings that someone had to say it.
Playing softball also had its drawbacks as a few teams protested I had previously been listed as a boy. I was glad that by the time the season began my breasts were able to look good naturally.
Kirk asked me to the Prom though he had dated another girl. When he said it was only fair he asked me first, I shared I did not like such a reason for asking me. I said he could ask me again in three days if he wanted to. We talked after that and agreed he should go with the other girl he was dating.
I wanted to go to the prom and to be able to hunt for a pretty prom dress, but now I needed to hope another junior or Senior would ask me. I got asked out by a guy named Steve, but he attended the neighboring high school. Luckily when we went out we were with some of his friends and I felt it would be fun going to his prom.
My softball coach had different thoughts. The softball schedule did take into account our prom date, but there was a conflict with two games on the day of the Mid-Rivers’ prom date. Mom said I could go to the prom but Coach stated if I went to that prom instead of playing ball, I might as well quit the team or plan to sit out the remainder of the season.
My parents decided I was not to quit but live with the consequences. Coach accepted my decision but gave one more consequence and that was I would not receive a varsity letter or jacket even if I had the required playing time. Dad said it would not be fair and he would fight it if it happened.
Mom and I went looking for my prom dress. I had again complained about not being allowed to get my driver’s permit. Mom shared that my becoming a girl was enough of a change for anyone. We want you to take your time in becoming and being a girl that trying to do everything age appropriate we think would be overwhelming.
“When you do get a permit and later a driver’s license, I hope you are not expecting us to help get you a new car or to give over one of our cars for you use while you leave us to adjust our schedules to your sweet liking.”
“We were going through one formal dress shop very thoroughly; we picked out three gowns we were interested in. Mom helped me into one gown decked out in red satin. The gown looked and felt beautiful, but alas the color and style did not work well on me.
Patti a friend of Steve’s had come over. The saleswoman and Mom were helping me try on another gown. It looked and felt like a blend of silk or satin with some lace work. When I asked for the price and was told it was $645 but was just that day being reduced to $367. Mom shared it was a beautiful gown, but that she could only spend up to $150.
I asked if she knew about my savings account and if I had access to it. She did know and shared it was available to me but my mother, I and she had to transfer it over into my new name and identity. I asked to purchase it, if I paid for half of the dress if she thought it would be a good purchase.
She shared it would but that I should consider less expensive gowns as well as ways of replenishing my account and get back to earning money.
Mom gave the down payment and we were in the fitting room being measured and fitted for the dress, when with disappointment I spotted a gown that caught my eye and stole my heart. It was an ever so light mint green. “Awe mom look at that beautiful gown, why couldn’t it have been out there. It looks close to my size.”
Mom laughed and comforted me, “You already have the prettiest gown we can afford.” I went over and pulled it off where it was hanging and just had to hold it up in front of me.
The owner just came back to fit me and saw me and the down. “Wow that is a good look for you.” Mom agreed. The woman asked if I would like to try it on. I was taken back, “You would let me try on someone else’s gown?”
“No, unfortunately the young lady selected another gown two weeks ago and just told me and asked for her deposit back today. It is a beautiful gown, like the one you selected but it is now going back out on the floor. My problem is not every girl can wear it.”
The woman encouraged my mom to allow me to try it one before she told us the price. “You have such a nice delicate top, if your Mom is not against it. I would suggest you wear it without a bra.” Mom looked and said something about a lining and the woman agreed. As the woman was zipping up the back I was fitting into the gown like a glove. I loved it even more than when I saw it on me in the mirrors.
With a smile the owner shared it is very well made. “I think it is even better for this young lady than the expensive one she chose. It was $426 but is now at $169 before tax. I would ask one favor though… Would you please come by here after you are already for your prom so we can have a professional picture taken? Ms. Petersen, I have heard about you and your young lady and I am pleased to meet you both.”
Mom snapped a picture of me in the gown and sent it to Dad. We visited as the new gown was written up and the owner made one notation in measuring the gown, as she recommended a slit up the sid. Deidra was more excited when she heard my date was from another school district, and neither was bad or troublesome in reputation.
Deidra asked what kind of shoes or heel was I wearing. Mom knew we hadn’t selected a pair yet, but I shared I was interested in either a nice 2 ½ heel or if need be a 3” heel. Both asked why I was leaning that way. I shared I heard too many girls and women get dressed up, complain when they are so beautiful that their shoes were killing them.
“If I am going to look good in a dress, I want to get the most out of wearing something so beautiful.” Mom smiled and I asked what was so funny and Deidra shared, “Your Mom and me just wish we had your common sense.” Mom shook her head in agreement.
On the way home Mom’s face quickly turned sad. I asked what was up but she said it was just good news that could wait another day. I persisted but Mom said “It was good news I want to share with your Dad first, but it can wait and today we will let you and the gown to take the spotlight.”
“Mom, if it is about a baby you can’t hold that back.” Mom was surprised that I would guess that.
“Mom, that is way too wonderful to bring sadness by stuffing it down inside you. You have opened your heart and given a place to me in your home. Your baby will be my sister, how could I wish you not to share. No wonder your heart ached. I don’t think that is healthy.” Mom pulled over to give me a hug and shared more of her news.
“Please let Matt be the first I tell.”
Mom blushed when I said “He’s the one who did it to you of course you should tell him first. It must have been that night in April.”
Mom smiled but said that was enough. “Women might figure out things but we do it well to be quiet about saying anything.”
“Is that why you women smile at one another while not saying anything?” Sometimes was the answer, reminding me I had much more to learn as a woman. Bree was giggling in her car seat, seemingly on how we were visiting. I always wanted to take her out of her seat and hold her, but Mom insisted she stay in her car seat. “But think before you laugh at ‘you women’ because you’re speaking about yourself.
“Jessie did you hear what Deidra was saying about your figure and not wearing a bra with the gown? Are you comfortable with that?”
“I didn’t know if that was a compliment or a nice way of saying I didn’t need one because my breasts were small.”
“No honey, you are nicely endowed and the gown fits and compliments your figure so well. We think the lining will be just enough to hold you in and to be comfortable and not show when you get aroused.”
“Mom, I am not going to get aroused.”
“If you are a red blooded girl, I wouldn’t be surprised that your body responds when Steve is up close and dancing with you. If you don’t know it, I have already seen that your breasts get aroused.” Mom explained about the areole enlarging and forming bumps.
“Thanks Mom, are they supposed to get feelings without me knowing that I’m getting excited or my panties get damp?”
“You ask good questions. Yes either place can have feelings without the other or even you knowing it. Most often it involves you being emotionally involved as well, they and the whole body will be involved. But that is for special times with a special person and not casual sex. Do you see yourself sometime being deeply in love with someone?”
“Maybe sometime in the future Mom; I am surprised when I find myself looking at boys?”
“You didn’t look at boys before? Your friend Eddy does, I thought just maybe.”
“I guess, Eddy said I did it only happened when I was around Marie and other girls too much.”
“Wow young lady, I thought you might have, but I wasn’t sure you would ever trust me enough to share. I thank you very much. We will have to talk some more, but please as you are comfortable.”
I waited for Mom to put her hand in my hair and mess it up, but then again I am a girl and that was a father son thing I guess. Mom took my hand and gave it a squeeze. Mom asked how I felt. I didn’t say anything but Mom wouldn’t let me go.
We were home from shopping and after we put everything away. Mom asked Dad if it was okay if she and I talked. He asked if everything is alright and she smiled. Seemingly they knew I would need times with one or the other now and then.
Mom changed into something comfortable and suggested I get dressed for bed. Dad had fixed some cheese, crackers and some munchies and water drinks. Mom brought an overstuffed pillow into my room and was at the head of the bed. I didn’t know what a good mother-daughter time should look like but this was like heaven. I sat next to mom and we were looking at each other but no words.
“Mom, I want to share something, but it’s hard when I am looking at you. I want to share things I haven’t said even to myself. And I want you to talk to me as my mom but I don’t know how to relax.”
Mom smiled and I knew she was not mad but instead had a good idea. “Jess put you head in my lap; I’ll brush your hair, run my fingers through it or just gently slide my hand down your back. I want you to relax and let some dream clouds surround you, and when you are comfortable the words will come.”
As a young boy I had placed my head on my mother’s lap sometimes when we rode someplace and the image came back. I quickly saw the soft colors of light among the puffy clouds and Mom’s lap was mine and another angel beautiful, wise and loving was caring for me. “Mom, you are in the dream clouds with me and I feel so good.”
“Jess, I think you have had some neat thoughts and feelings, but you felt guilty or afraid to share them. I want you to know you are safe and warmly loved.” She put a baby blanket on me. So how did you or Jessie feel?”
“I often deny things and then softened. One day a year and a half or the year before, Eddy was hurt by someone. He was feeling bad about himself in a way I was afraid and uncomfortable. He asked me ‘What kind of boy could look at and love another boy?’ I told him any normal boy but most will deny it.
He brightened up just a little, ‘but would a normal boy want to kiss or hug him?’ I said you did and we do sometimes hug. ‘But you know what I mean, have you ever had an urge to kiss or be kissed by a boy?’
After Eddy asked the question there was silence and then he spoke again, ‘You have haven’t you?’ Well Eddy kissed me that day. It was a half year later some older boys were chasing Eddy and I cut them off with my bike and Eddy got a way.
I rode off but one of them had a bike and he chased me a few blocks I cut through the park while he trying to catch up to me. I ran and tried to hide but that wasn’t too smart. Gordy caught up to me and pinned me down but before he hit me, he wanted me to confess I was queer.
I said I wasn’t but that wasn’t even a nice name. He held one of my arms and told me to get up. He punched me in the stomach to taka my breath away. He told me they liked to get a pansy like me to kiss one or more of them before they beat him up. And he asked, “Have you been kissed before?” I told him yes… by my mom and others. You are just looking for an excuse to kiss me and beat me up. Go ahead and do it if you want, but I am not sure you don’t really want to kiss me.
He said I was crazy but he led me further into the woods and hit me in the gut so I wouldn’t run before he kissed me. When he did we both liked it and knew it. We both professed we weren’t gay, but we hid and kissed for awhile. I asked Gordy to lay off Eddy and other kids.
“He asked ‘or what’ you’re going to tell?’ Gordy said he would if I came over to his house. We became friends for about 2-3 months, but stopped when it went too far.”
“Jess can I ask was it something bad that happened or what?”
“What Mom, neither wanted to be gay but we were… we really liked each other. First when he got hard we would ignore it, but once we were playing on the computer. He wasn’t aroused, but I touched him to distract him, then he touched me and we both liked it. So we would kiss and roll around and...”
Mom stroked my hair and allowed us to be quiet. I tried talking about other things but came back to it.
“At first he didn’t like it that I was another guy and Gordy complained. I told him that the Fords were throwing away some of Marie’s clothes and asked how he might feel if he saw me more as a girl? He asked me if I was willing to be a girl for him. We didn’t talk but the next time I went over I had some girl clothes.
“He brushed my hair after I changed and he had me use some of his sister’s lipstick and eye shadow. We started to kiss… Mom, do you really want me to say this?”
“Jess if it is a secret that you haven’t been able to share it may be good to share. “You need to feel good and comfortable that you are sharing it with me. I love you and that won’t change.”
“When I dressed like a girl he’d, we got excited. He took off my panties and he went inside me and we made love. Once his mom or sister kind of caught us but they didn’t come in. We did it one more time when he broke off our friendship.” I didn’t tell anyone. I knew it was bad and I felt bad ever since. I didn’t even tell Dr. Deb”
“Why didn’t you tell Dr. Deb or anyone else?”
“Dr. Deb would have thought that is why I wanted to be a girl to have sex. But I wanted to be a girl ever since 1st grade. I learned in Kindergarten I couldn’t play in the little house because I wasn’t a girl.
“Why did you feel bad about Gordy loving you? It sounded like you both liked it.”
“I did enjoy it, but now I know it was wrong and bad.”
“Do you think of it as being bad, because others think it is bad?”
“I’m not sure, but I think that part of you that is Jess may have liked it or became angry because you weren’t the girl you wanted to be. Jess if a girl has sex with a boy when she shouldn’t; there is a conflict inside, part of the girl might like it and a part of her is saying it was bad because she shouldn’t have been doing it. I think if boys go as far as you and Gordy did there might be a conflict between what you felt and what you think.”
“How did it feel when he came and you felt the warmth of his cum inside you?”
“Mom how can you ask such a thing?”
“I can ask, because I have been a girl, and my daughter is feeling bad about something that might have felt warm and beautiful.”
“It was Mom, but how can you want me to acknowledge that.”
“Because if it were me, it is what I as a mom would like you to know. Do I want you to wait for a better time yes, but I don’t want you scared of sex or your feelings. I think you are a beautiful young girl with a lot of feelings and passion. I do not want you to lose that.”
“May I change the subject,” she asked, “bringing it up to now. I suspect you have explored you knew body and realize you have different feelings. How do you feel about guys now? What do you like to look for in a guy?”
“I also want to speak to your upcoming adoption; we would like to rename you Grace Marie Petersen.” I smiled as I was excited about being adopted and the name was very nice but I asked, “If I was born to you wouldn’t my name be more likely Grace Sharon Petersen.”
Sharon, “I thought that was a bit presumptuous of me and I thought since Marie was your best friend, you would prefer Marie. Which name would you prefer?”
My new name upon being adopted would be Grace Sharon Petersen. Fortunately the formal adoption would be until after prom and the school year was done.
I was catching, playing second base or riding the bench as the season was progressing. But with attending a Prom at another school things would changed. I was dating Steve and loved him a lot and our relationship was getting warmer.
Did I just say, I loved Steve a lot? Wow! My life is changing and in so many ways.
I guess I should be surprised about how well I was now doing in school with a teacher as a mom, but when Sharon said I was doing it on my own I felt real proud. Before a good day in school was having fun and not letting education get in the way of that. I had received two term papers back today and was ahead in completing another as well as in doing a group project with Sandy and Marie.
I got an A+ and an A on one paper in composition and an A- in a history paper. We were doing a project on recycling in which we got fourth and sixth graders to do recycling posters for a contest and fifth, seventh and ourselves to head up a three week recycling drive at the three school levels.
Our community offered recycling but less than 10% of the community participated. Come the end of the third week we announce the early results by grades and a natural compition developed during the last week. The City Council agreed to reward each school with half of the added revenue for that period to go toward computers for the schools.
I liked the idea of making a difference but I never really believed I could outside of helping a friend. Coach Hayek volunteered a dozen football players to help collect items at the schools and get them to the recycling center. He laughed that it would replace a spring condition program he could not mandate.
Another change was I was wearing contacts and with that I began to enjoy reading a lot more. Mom’s persistence in getting me to study was paying off. But with the results I was getting it was more enjoyable. Three days a week I was now in study groups, preparing for tests and going over reading and study assignments. The people in one study group did not match another, so I was making new significant friends.
All these things together changed my environment as bullies who tried to take advantage of my size or those disliking my being transgendered found it more difficult to harass me and others. I didn’t become the most popular person, but I had enough friends and sensitive people that stepped up and made a stand.
I almost got suspended for being in a fight as Jack F. and Dennis and Donnie M. had jumped John Fletcher for his lunch and project money. I forgot I was now a girl and I jumped Dennis and we went sailing into some hall lockers. I was in Jack’s face as others came by and stepped in.
I would have and should have been suspended but the Principal wanted to punish the three punks and suspending them from school was like giving them a holiday. He gave me the option of fighting anyone of the three boys.
I picked Dennis though he was not the weakest of the three. And I chose to wrestle him though my real father had taught me to box. We had one girl wrestler in school. She and I both knew Dennis could be pushed over or taken down. I could not officially hit him but swinging my arms was allowed.
Dennis like a professional wrestler made the mistake of playing to the crowd and did not expect me to attack him like a crazy girl. He was flat on his stomach and I had one leg locked halfway up. He was a pretty boy who did not like pain nor his hair messed up. Trying to get his shoulders down I was also pushing his face into the mat as my arm kept slipping off his hair. I loved it and was very happy it did not backfire on me.
Dance lesson gave me an advantage come my sense of balance. It paid off in the second period when I started in the prone position. I was able to stand up but wasn’t free of his grip. Leslie thought he would try to kick one of my legs out to take me back down. She said I needed to be ready as soon as he lifted his kicking leg to catch him off balance. I did, and we went crashing back and I was turning around as we did.
Humble and hurt Dennis began to cry and I was quickly in his face and holding down his shoulders. After I pinned him I stayed in his face and had to be pulled off. It was not a nice thing to happen to a guy’s ego, but he was now marked for how he could be beat.
Mom and Dad were half proud of me, but officially I was grounded. It was the same discipline I would have faced from my natural parents. Mom knew my ego and that I would get in more fights if I went unpunished.
I was glad I won the fight, but I was happier that was no longer the way I settled things. Mom said, “It does a girl good to work on having a pretty complexion while being thick skinned.” I can’t count the number of times in five months I would like to have smacked someone for what they said or did. People could be real jerks at times; but when I saw them I would remind myself that use to be me.
I haven’t become a saint, but I have become a better person. More than a dozen times I went home to give Mom or Bree a big hug for seemingly no reason. I can vouch when someone says there is more to being a girl than a dress and make-up.
Mom told me it was part of my growing up and becoming a woman instead of a girl. “You would have eventually done the same thing as Jeff if you became a man.” I disagreed saying Jeff would still be wrestling with that person inside of him.
Mom did allow me to go to the promenade before the prom at our high school to see Marie, Sandy and many other friends in their prom gowns. I am sure, besides the fact Jeff would not have gone to see the promenade, neither would I have seen how truly beautiful the dresses and my friends were in them.
I did not laugh as some when Eydie, Eddy, dared to come to the promenade in his gown. I applauded as Mom bumped me forward out in front of Eydie and her escort. I gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Eydie had been helped by his mom and another girl from school to look so good along with going to a salon.
Marie looked more beautiful than ever and I was choked with emotions as I tried to tell her. If there was one thing I could do other than being a girl, it would be to have Marie at my side as a guy. Mom gave me a hug and encouraged me to say something even with tears. “Marie, you are so beautiful, I love your gown.”
Marie giggled, “We can play Barbie sometime.” Mom having be a teacher for most of the girls was having as much fun as I was. She was dressed up enough that many of the girls and some guys wanted a picture with the foxy teacher.
I would have like a picture with Marie and Sandy but I didn’t think before I came to the Promenade. My hair was not brushed out; I had on shorts and a tank top with little make-up on. Marie didn’t mind but I did and Mom agreed with me.
Dad was watching Bree while we were gone, but Bree was her observant little self as we came through the door. “Sissy, you were crying.” Bree ran and jumped into my arms. She used her hands to shape my mouth to a smile then hugged me and told me she loved me.
She took me to her room and asked me to pull off her comforter from her bed to the floor and brought her pillows down. “Sissy, you get ready for bed and comeback and sleep with me.” I did change into my night clothes and a robe, and said I would sleep in her room but it was too early for bed.
Mom came into my room, “Why don’t you take a nice shower and relax before you change. I am very proud of you and we all love you.” As I showered I could feel my mood lighten. The water cascading down my breasts and through my longer hair reminded me of the joy of being a girl. Even my male parts were but a reminder that I was still ‘becoming’.
When I joined the family into the living room, they were happy to see that my mood had changed. I had brought out what was needed to redo my nails.
Mom had put on a girl movie and Dad was going along, enjoying Mom at his side. I finished my nails and asked who was next, and Mom suggested I do my father’s feet. I pulled off his socks to find the usual male mess.
I went to their master bathroom and got his nail clippers, a new emery board and mom’s nail kit. First I used some Curel lotion to moisten the rough skin and to give him a foot massage and then started in with his nail clippers. They were harder, thicker and uneven but it was nice to see the change as I proceeded. Each foot required its own emery board as it was like trying to shape ragged concrete and old boards. Using mom’s tools I worked around his cuticles and cut away excess or hard dry skin.
I asked him what color her wanted, but got no response so I went with a pretty blue. Dad was a good sport as I actually put on two coats and a clear finish. All of us forgot it was a weekend and Dad like to wear his sandals for much of what he did save church.
Mom giggled and thanked me for doing a good job but said it was now time for bed. It was still early for me, but Mom said, “It’s late for Brianna and she already asked you to sleep with her.” I got my pillow, comforter and a doll as I made my way to Bree’s room.
Mom and dad had both come to tuck us in and give us o goodnight kiss. I was surprised by how relaxed I was and how quickly I fell asleep hugging both my doll and Bree. Mom had sprayed a light flower scent into the air as we drifted asleep. It was a nice light scent to wake up to in the morning.
It was about 6:00 a.m. when Bree woke up and woke me up asking for her diaper to be changed. We stayed awake playing with dollies and their pets the stuffed animals. Bree told me which were wild animals and which were house pets. We differed about Teddy Bears as she insisted all Teddy bears were friendly.
Dad poked his head in to tell us we would be going out for breakfast. A number of people turned their heads, though the hostess kept her cool when she saw Daddy’s painted toe nails. I told Dad I was sorry but he told me not to be that I had done a real good job as he smiled.
One man said something, to which my dad replied, “Too bad you don’t have daughters, you wouldn’t mind.”
The man said, “I have a daughter and sons, and wouldn’t allow himself to be such an example.”
I spoke up saying, “My Daddy rushed over a 1,000 yards in college football and his feet are tough like any man’s.” The man started to reply, but my Dad suggested we should just agree to disagree.
It was then I received my first text message from Marie and she laughed because I sent her a picture of my Dad’s feet. I reminded her it was not to be sent around, before I asked for her pictures from the prom. Mom made me stop texting until after breakfast and our visiting as a family.
My parents told me while we were eating that I was no longer grounded. I asked if Steve invited me out could we go on a date. I was given permission but I couldn’t ask or encourage him.
The restaurant had a little gift shop area that Mom likes to look around in as we did this morning. Two girls and a mom each asked Dad if they could take a picture of his feet to which he agreed. Mom’s feet were in two of the pictures. He and my Mom were asked if I was their daughter or their niece as they looked too young to be my parents. Mom was upset when I shared I was soon to be their adopted daughter.
Mom later shared, “No one should need to explain how they are a member of the family.”
Come Monday, Tuesday and Thursday I played in all of the five games since I was well rested, not having already gone to the prom. We won all but one game and I was not the catcher in that game. The coach thanked me for what I did, but that I still should not expect to play or receive a varsity letter if I went to a prom.
Two girls on the team heard her warning and were upset and told the other players. One of the girls warned the coach she would be very upset if that meant they did not reach the state play-offs. Since I was not allowed in the girls’ locker room, I was not privy to any other discussion, save from Sandy later.
My Mom handed Coach a written excuse stating I would be missing tomorrow’s classes and the team’s game with their permission as I was going to attend a prom which I was graciously invited to as a date. Mom stated to the coach, “That she would be very disappointed if that kept me from missing more than a game as was the coach’s general rule.”
I was surprised that Mom took the day off as a teacher to take me to the salon as well as to get my picture at the dress shop. We had a fun day as Mom’s sister Jenn was along either taking pictures or helping me or Bree.
We got home at four and Steve was not picking me up until 5:00 for their promenade but Jenn hurried me to take off my gown and get to the toilet. It was a hassle getting in and out of the gown, more so without help. Jenn gave me some suggestion what to do if I need to go to the bathroom while at the prom or after prom party while in her gown. “Jess even if you don’t plan to wear it again, you should take it off properly, hang it up and protect it.” She told me to call her when I was ready to take it off.
She talked to me about how I felt about Steven and what we might do tonight. I knew before she said it that it would be confidential between her and me and not go to my parents. She fixed my hair and helped me touch up my make-up, then told me to be in no rush when Steve came.
She left and sent in my Dad, so he could not intimidate Steven. It was something her Mom did for two of the three daughters.
To be continued…
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