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Previously… Tonight, I was very tired again but I knew the regiment in getting ready for bed, Faith, Marcy, Ruth, Ed and I stayed up to visit. It was Ma Ruth who commented on…
…Marcy sat me down and asked how I was doing, giving me a chance to share my concern about feeling and looking like a girl. We have no problem that you are a guy; …That you would enjoy how well you are doing speaks volume to us about the depth of your character. Uncle Will means a lot to us and we would not want to hurt his grandson

…Ruth was about to pull the plug on me acting as a girl. Looking at the morning paper I knew a change would make more problems than it solved…

…Please know Richard and I are eternally grateful, but we would not want to do anything to hurt you… Mom, am I going to be in trouble with you for accepting Brianna as my Junior Bridesmaid?”
…“I guess we all agree it is what needs to be done. She will be a beautiful Junior Bridesmaid and quite a secret until some day we can all sit back and laugh that it in fact happened.”

~o~O~o~

By Jessica C

Ma Storm told me to go change, put on some shorts, a casual top and not socks or stockings just your sandals. I asked her what I was going to be doing. After breakfast I have a treat for you as you get ready for the wedding. Amanda stopped over and shared that Bree’s Grandmother had died early yesterday and visitation would be tonight and tomorrow before the service.

This time we went to the Salon Mandy was using for her wedding; “this is Brianna and she is filling in for one of the junior bridesmaids. I think she could use a pedicure and manicure.” The receptionist looked and said “I think she will enjoy it and it will help her to be even prettier than she already is.” I liked how she put things in a positive light.

“Patti Jo, I have a young woman who could enjoy your expertise.” Patti came up and took me to her area. I sat down as she got her things ready. She had me put both hands in a bowl of a thick solution and then took of my sandals off and had me place my feet in a slightly thicker solution. Both were warm and had a nice scent to them.

Patti helped me to pick out a color; it was an off red and slightly darker, but I thought it would have a nice wet shine to it as well. Patti said between buffing the second coat and the bright protective coat I was right. She asked what I would be doing, so I shared I would be a junior bridesmaid/usher. She suggested we limit to lengthening my fingernails to a uniform ½ or ¾ “. With Marcy’s help we went with the ¾ “ length since we could shorten them. There was a little discomfort to adjusting the cuticles, but the result was well worth it.

When Patti started on my feet and I was surprised how much hard dry skin came off with no tearing, bleeding or soreness. My feet and nails were improving in appearance even before she started to polish my toenails or finish my fingers.

Patti chided me for not taking care of my feet and suggested another treatment when I came with the wedding party would be wise. I gave her an extra $10 not knowing what others were doing. Marcy had to tell me three times to stop concentrating on my feet and nails, but I liked how pretty they were. Before I left Patti had asked me to sign a Carrie Underwood poster and complimented on how well I sang and looked at the concert.

Surprisingly to me, Marcy stopped and we went into a women’s clothing store and we looked at two piece swimsuits. There was one with a short mach suede skirt I liked. Faith was along and she laughed at my expensive taste as it was just under a hundred dollars. She showed me two that were similar but an ordinary fabric and each cost $35.00. I tried on and went with the blue suit.

The saleswoman knowing Faith tempted her with a 40% discount to get the mach suede suit. Faith and Marcy both challenged her, but she held her ground. “You are local girls and people will get to see you and know where the suit can be purchased.” I told Faith not to worry about me and to get it if she wanted. Since there was a tan and a brown suit Marcy broke down as well.

When we got home Faith said I needed to change into my suit and try to get a tan. She, I and two friends, Abbey and Kate, were soon out back tanning. We had on a weak sun-block so as to cut the risk of sunburn. I was uncomfortable with having my straps down as we lay on our backs. But I did not protest after rolling to my stomach that faith undid the back strap so I could tan down to my bottom. I tanned enough according to Ma Storm that I looked more like a member of the family.

I was now wearing a pair of short shorts to show off my tan as I worked around the house. Ma Storm did ask me to take time with Grandpa. She sat down with us to sip some iced tea. I asked how they had come to meet and Poppa said, “She had a flat tire on Interstate95 so I helped to change the tire.” Ruth took over, “When he helped him, he thought her spare tire was not very reliable either. He insisted he follow me home here to Garner. He wouldn’t take anything for all his help, but I did talk him into staying for supper. The girls adopted him as grandpa and he was hooked. Anytime he went from Jersey to Florida or back he stopped at the Storm’s bed and breakfast to enjoy his granddaughters.

I laughed because he was such a good story teller, but he never told me that. “Your Dad said, he thought you felt guilty for not being a girl. The teasing about your eyelashes and things they couldn’t stop, but they tried not to add to your hurt.

Ruth asked if it was true that I felt guilty for not being a daughter and granddaughter. I said, “I really don’t want to talk about it. I have always missed Grandma; she is like a person I never knew. I wonder if she would love me.” Grandpa hugged me and said “She loves you a lot Brice, I know it because I have always loved you with a special love.”

“What would she think of me right now,” I asked?

“I think she enjoys seeing what her Granddaughter looks. She and I would have danced with joy to hear you sound so good.”

“But as Brice, I stammer and stutterer, I don’t do so well in school and I tend to lose my temper and get in fights.” Grandpa hugs me and says, “Brice is free to be himself. He can sing before thousands, he has a big heart and it was freedom and choice, not a dress or make-up.”

“I’m very confused Pop Pop, does that mean you do not want me to be Brianna then?” Pop Pop hugged me, for now you are a Bridesmaid and the girl you believe is inside of you. When we go home I want you to be free to be you, without my telling you who that is.” This time I hugged my Poppa.

The tempo and focus of things quickly changed as Amanda came in, “Momma who is going to Aunt Abigail’s visitation tonight or tomorrow morning?” No one was going as there were so many things to do. It was just an hour away.

I had agreed to help Amanda to move into the house they were renting and within the three hours I was helping her I understood her strong bond to Aunt Abigail. While no one would fault her for not being there, it was tearing her up inside. “Mandy, if we left just before 8:00 in the morning; you would have an hour to visit and we could be back shortly after noon. It would give me a chance to meet Bree and keep you alert.”

Mandy gave me a hug and asked if I really meant it. “I think you are going to feel guilty and sad at your own wedding if you do not. But you better tell your mother that a friend is riding with us. You can tell her the truth when you get back.”

“Brianna, you have a bit of the devil in you.”

“I learned from Grandpa Will to take my joking very seriously at times. But truthfully, I would like time with you to know you ride back and forth, and I sense you need to be there for your sake.” She gave me a hug and said to plan on it. She thought it was nice that I felt a kinship to Bree and wanted to meet her.

I stayed away from sorting and putting away her more personal clothing but I did hang up her clothes bound for her closet. She had a big walk-in and seemingly did a better than expected job in sorting out Summer, Fall, Winter and Spring outfits as we as doing some sorting according to colors. She had a pile of clothes and some jewelry that she brought over for her sisters to check and see if they wanted anything. She offered me a chance to select anything I might like.

I chose a necklace and earrings that worked together and a outfit I could wear at the beach on Sunday, if I was still Brianna. She had another outfit she asked me to try just to see how I would look in it. It was more expensive but looked real sharp on me. She suggested I wear it to the funeral visitation which was a good idea.

Ma Storm called and I needed to hurry over to a back to create an account as Brianna. She already had a form I needed to sign and return to her lawyer to legally use another name as an alias. When I got to the bank we needed to go across the street to sign the legal papers first. Mom shared that my first check from Carrie Underwood was for $1,500. Though I did not understand what it was for.

We went back to the Storm’s to eat and it was a good Carolina Barbecue, their sauce uses a vinegar base and is a tad different, but it was very good. Ruth’s potato salad and other fixings were great. The lemonade for us gals was kept tart, not too many sugar calories. But there was a spiked picture from which I received some. The worst I did was to slide off a chair showing off my panties in a little girl fashion.

I worked hard not to be a messy eater and managed quite well, while I had eaten enough to be satisfied, it was not as much as I regularly ate. I looked all over for the usual barbecue stains and looked again using a mirror. Poppa and Ed understood, but Ruth smirked and my sisters were confused. We sang songs and talked about times strange to me, but enjoyed by my Pop Pop.

Ricky had come over with Matt and was paying me a lot of attention, Grandpa asked me just to visit with him until he goes home or you go to bed whichever comes first. I was doing fairly well until 9:15 when I was bored and agreed to go for a walk. Unfortunately I felt more like Brianna than Brice as we walked. First we were holding hands, then his arm was around my waist and I liked it even more. As we got back I was getting tired and Ricky was closer to leaving, so he asked me for a kiss. I offered him my cheek but he was older and his target was my lips.

I enjoyed the kiss but I pushed him away, even as Brianna, I did not want a boy pushing himself on me. I said goodnight to Pop, Ruth and Ed. Mom sent Marcy to make sure I prepared for bed properly. But I pretty much done everything she checked on. She giggled I was quite the girl, but understood my pain when she said that. “I didn’t mean anything bad Brianna; it takes quite a person to have the character I see in you. Be it Ricky here or a girl back home you are one to be respected. Do me a favor while you’re here, just relax put on this nightgown and look good and be comfortable for you.”

Though I knew Marcy could have been back with the others we spent another short while in girl talk. When she left I asked if her Mom or Grandpa could come up and give me a goodnight kiss. I think Grandpa Will might be in bed, but if his light is on I will tell him and I will also ask Mom. “I know with Mandy getting married I find myself wanting her hugs and kisses again.” Her boyfriend Scott called her as she was leaving the room.

It was a while later Pop came in and gave me a hug and kiss, and then we talked a while. Grandpa always had a coarse crop of whiskers, but now as Brianna my face it scratched my face even more. I would try to say something before wedding but now as his granddaughter I didn’t want to say anything. Instead I enjoyed the long conversation. I appreciated that Pop Pop talked and visited more than my Dad or most of the men I knew. The only ones I knew who talked more were usually conceited bas**ds.

While Grandpa was an accomplished engineer from what I heard, he usually focused on others or liked to joke and kid around. He told me about Brice Canfield for who I was named. He hoped like Brice it would make sure I got a good education and knew how to apply it.

Ruth came in and visited with us and it was an enjoyable time though not too long. Ruth suggested a little prayer before she tucked me in and gave me a kiss. Grandpa shared it had been 13 years since he was with Grace and she prayed for me while I was bundled in her bed. I felt Goosebumps as Ruth prayed and Grandpa held my other hand.

Ruth and Grandpa left hugging one another as I think Grandpa’s eyes were watering.

It was 5:30 when I woke and Marcy was slipping up some running shorts. I was quickly up asking if I could run with her. She gave me an old tube top to help me as I already had the shorts and running shoes. By the time we stretched and ran a two mile loop we were home again and I dropped out knowing. Marcy picked up her pace as she kept running. I showered and was eating a light breakfast when Mandy arrive to pick me up.

Amanda and I were about to drive away when Ruth commented that I had not opened my cards from yesterday and she expected more today. Mom had received two cards from fans of Carrie for me. “Marcy has given Brittany Storm. SC and email address and web page with pictures from Carrie’s concert. You can look at it when you get a chance.”

We were down the road and visiting, I did look at the two cards and was flattered that people thought enough to do so; one even sent a picture and email address wanting to hear what it was like in my shoes. I was presently more interested in visiting with Amanda, who told me to call her Mandy or Sis. I smiled, “You wouldn’t mind if I called you Sis?”

“We share Grandpa Will and it is easier than calling you Cousin Anna. You might prefer cousin to being called a sister, but another time, sorry.”

“You don’t need to be sorry, don’t tell anyone, but it’s kind of a neat experience; especially having Sisters. Being considered to be part of the Storm family is neat too. I have a neat family but its different being in a family of boys and a family of girls.”

“Which one do you like better?”

“This is special because it is now and for a short time. It takes a lot more to be a girl; I wouldn’t mind if I was born being a girl and being your junior bridesmaid and Ma Ruth; they are all special to me… But I am not going to be a girl back home; I am use to being me though Brice has more troubles than Brianna.”

Mandy wanted me to talk but I asked about Richard and her and how long they have been in love. They had met 2 ½ years ago, but they were just friends dating others. Things changed for her first and she thought about dating him because it would be safe since they were friends. She didn’t want to fall in love.

“I think Richard was the first one to fall in love, first with me and then with my family. I kind of spooked and backed off when he and my family first liked each other; I didn’t want to get married yet, nor was I sure how much I loved him. It was six more months before I started to fall in love with him.”

We were soon at the town where the funeral would be and soon after that at the church where the final visitation was being held and the funeral service should be held. It was a good size church, as Mandy said they took religion seriously. Amanda views her great aunt and met some of the family that was already there. Bree and another group of the family came while we were talking to them and soon most of the families were there. They were glad as well as surprised to see Amanda as they understood all that we wedding were demanding of the family.

Mandy introduce me to Bree and another cousin Lana and the three of us went off to visit. I expressed my sympathy to Brianna and LuAnna and we visited about how their Grandmother was special and things they loved about her and would miss.

Then Bree shared how she was thankful I could fill in for her but she was also sad about not taking part. I told her there were no major alterations and if she wanted to be the Junior Bridesmaid I wouldn’t mind. She was grateful I offered, but knew it was not realistic though they might come to the wedding and/or the reception.

Others wanted to visit Bree and Bree had many friends, as did Lana. I walked around and realized I needed to use the restroom but that there was a line. I went to ask Mandy what I could do and she said, “That is why we had you use a pad, if something happens you won’t spot your panties or need to worry about showing. But here take another pad and tampon in case either is needed.” With that she discretely exchanged the two items from her purse to mine.

I knew several young women heard parts of what were said and giggled, but I didn’t see it at all as funny. It took me ten minutes to get to use a stall in the women’s room and another seven minutes to do all that was needed as well as wash and check my make-up.

Lana seemingly had waited for me to come out and had a need to talk. “I am sorry that some overheard and realized your predicament, but most of the giggles were because all of us have been there.”

“You said “most of the giggles” what did you mean by that?”

“You probably don’t realize it but some have passed a rumor that you are not a girl. I would be surprised if someone already texted you’re using a pad as confirmation of your being a girl. It is important to me because I have something confidential and disturbing that I need to talk to you about.”

“I know you care and can identify with a young girl being a single mom, but would you have any empathy for a young girl our age; she had given up her child and chose not to be a single teen parent?” With that Lana took a hand held it with her two. “How upset are you with a girl like me?”

“Lana, my heart is breaks with the thought that you worry about me, when I and every girl should be able to identify with you, tell me your story.” I teared as I listened. Lana because of the funeral gave me a Reader’s Digest version, of romance, rape and carrying her child to be given away. She was grieved wondering what her Grandmother had thought of her, guilty about what Carrie or I thought.

I was quickly texting Jeanette who quickly called me back. “Jeanette, we have a problem, girls who have given their baby to be adopted can feel guilty that we judge them for the brave thing they have done.” I didn’t realize as we were talking she handed me to Carrie, but when Carrie answered I knew it was her.

“I am sorry Carrie; I can’t talk long as a friend Lana has a funeral coming up just over 30 minutes. But I’m hurting for her feeling judged and I knew your caring about single moms, was not drawing a circle to leave her out.” Carrie asked me to give my phone to Lana if she was there. I am not sure of all that she said but Lana body language relaxed then warmed up.

The phone was given back to me, Carried said “Brianna, when you get a chance call me back, this was not a problem you’re meant to be carrying. Who are you with?” I knew she meant from the Storm family, so I told her “Amanda”.

I was back to talking and hugging Lana, helping her to refocus on her Grandmother’s funeral. We exchanged cell #s. Mandy got me so we could leave and get back to Garner and ready for the rehearsal service.

Mandy, “Brianna did I hear right that Lana opened up to you about having a little girl and the baby’s adoption. Girl and I emphasize she took you into confidence as ‘girl’, that is heavy, how are you?” She had already given me a tissue for my eyes and make-up.

“I don’t understand why she chose me, but she clasped my hand and my heart was with her. No, I’m not a girl but I felt like one and knew I couldn’t be anything else as I listened. Carrie wants me to call her back and know the same thing.”

“You spoke to Carrie Underwood, why was that?”

“Lana felt we cared about single moms and so guilty about letting go of her baby. What she did was heroic in carrying her baby and letting her be adopted, but I felt Carrie and I needed to let girls and women like her know we care.”

“Brianna come Monday you’re back to being Brice.”

“I know, none of this was in my mind last Monday, but it won’t be true this Monday. There’s way too much for me about being a girl, but I find a girl’s heart growing in me and I don’t know what happens to that come Monday?”

Mandy smiled, pulled over to the side of the road and gave me a big hug. “I hope helping me does not make unusual girl problems for you.”

“Mandy, it may not sound right and I might be in over my head, but I am enjoying this experience. Accumulating a wardrobe I can’t use is the least of what I have gained and enjoyed. I am actually looking forward to being your Junior Bridesmaid.” We were back on the road and each mile closer to being immersed into the preparations for rehearsal and the wedding.

“Thanks Brianna, I don’t mean to pry, but for Halloween or anything did you ever dress as a girl?”

“Once for Halloween a cousin helped me dress as a cheerleader; it was the only time I looked realistically as a girl.” I didn’t mean to say that last part but it was said.

“So there were other times you dressed as a girl or in girls’ clothes” Mandy asked. Should I just be quiet or do I try to figure a reasonable answer. Mandy was concentrating on her driving, but not going on with any conversation, but looked at me with a smile now and then. “So little Sis what else happened?”

“I’m the youngest of four brothers and either I pushed my way in to be able to play with the guys or I played with a mixed group of neighbors. I got use to looking up to others I liked and they were often girls, but I wasn’t supposed to look up to them.”

“Who told you that?”

“My brothers and other guys, they really got mad when I like Olympic women figure skaters. I was not very good on skates but I like how graceful women were and how well they skated under pressure. I told you your Mom and Marcy people often joked that I had pretty eyelashes that belonged on a girl, but I liked them. When I was real young it was okay to be called cute, so more than once I tried to see what they would look like with make-up. My Mom seemed too understand; she once started to help me when she caught me, but stopped when two brothers came home.”

Mandy changed the subject and I relaxed as we were driving home. She then called the salon and asked if her manicurist had an opening. “Brianna, Tess has an opening early this afternoon. We wanted you to have a second pedicure and manicure, would it be okay if I take you off there now? …You will get to see the color we are using and show it off to others at rehearsal.”

I agreed and she told the salon that we would be stopping by. “It may not seem big to you, but this is where someone like me cares about the small things. …I was in a friend’s wedding earlier this year and the salon changed the color of the nail polish and hairstyle of the bridal party. The Bride did not realize it until she saw us at the church.”

“Am I having my hair done today as well?”

“No, you will have your hair done with the other girls, but I was thinking of having them do your eyes if you wouldn’t mind.”

“You know I wouldn’t Mandy, thank you.” She smiled and we stopped at a Chinese restaurant for lunch before going to the salon. She called her Mom to tell her we were back and what we were doing. She thanked me for going to with her to the viewing. “It seemed important enough that you be able to be there, and a small thing for me to help.”

I asked “What she suggested to order”, thinking she would suggest something new and good that I would not have chosen myself. But Mandy said, “Today was not for trying new things, less you upset your system and we lose our junior bridesmaid.” We talked and I learned more about Mandy as a little girl into her teen years. I now had another girl, no woman that I looked up too.

We made our way to the salon and we met Tess with Mandy doing most of the talking and confirming the color they had out was what she had chosen. My nails would be the same as the bridesmaids, but my lipstick as a slight change they and I could see. It was age and junior bridesmaid appropriate; most people wouldn’t notice the difference.

Tess wondered aloud why Mandy wanted my eyes done tonight and Mandy said it was just a treat for me. Tess was more than happy to give me a special treat, realizing I was like a little girl in a candy store. Tess took me by the hand and to her station. It felt good to have my hands and feet soaking in that waxy/gel again and the transformation of my feet and hands continued.

Tess took my hands first, while they had kept their shape to my thinking; Tess was looking for better, more girly results. Everything about my hands went smoother, more feminine. She had taken off my extensions to make sure the new ones would make it through the wedding and reception. Surely they would have, but no chances were taken.

I loved the glistening of the dark red color that would be put on, but first I found myself watching the shaping of the nails as one who plans to do it for herself in the future. Tess noticed my attention like so many other girls and women, “Do you hope to do your nails like this?”

“I don’t expect to do as well as you, but between the first time and this I’ve learned a lot and realize I need to take better care of my nails, hands and feet. It is a lot like taking care of my hair and skin. It’s a big change for a tomboy,” Tess laughed and agreed. Goosebumps formed on my legs and arms as I saw how nice I looked.

Tess walked me over to a make-up chair and set me back in the chair and went to work. Focusing on my lips and eyes Tess first worked on my face as the canvas for the other two. I enjoyed her smiles and expressions as she did this and that, stepped back and moved on. I was anxious about the change but she would not let me see it.

Since I was a junior bridesmaid I knew it would not be as special as it would for the bride or bridesmaids, but it would be special for me. My eyelashes would soon be seen on beautiful girl. I expected a few hairs lost from my eyebrows but not thinned and shaped as I felt happening. As the wax was pulled from the first eyebrow, I knew it would not soon be back to normal.

I am glad I had a pad on as I needed to run to the restroom. Tess called in and told me to clean my hands and come out without looking I at my face. I was sitting back down and I told Tess I was not ready for my eyebrows to be shaped and I knew I would be in trouble at home. She apologized but we both knew there was no going back. “Please proceed, no one is to know there is a problem, I am going to enjoy it for now.” Once again Tess apologized but she was glad to hear I was going to enjoy it for now.

She was done and she had called Mandy to pick me up, but all three sisters and Ruth were there as I was allowed to look in the mirror. Mandy and Tess both reminded me it was okay to be happy but ‘no tears’. I was told three times to take a deep breath before they turned me toward the mirror. There in the mirror with my Grandpa smiling beside me I saw the most beautiful eyes. Finally I saw the girl that others always should have these eyelashes; Marcy first squeezed my hand and gave me a hug.

My whole face was beautiful but looking out from between my eyelashes my eyes sparkled with joy. The eyelashes did not have much mascara on them, but they were beautifully curved and separated. The color around them was not loud either; the simple beauty of what she had done made a great difference.

My sisters were so happy about how pretty I looked, Ruth and my Grandpa were happy but they also understood the significance it meant for me as Brice. Everyone hugged me but Grandpa and Ma Ruth embraced me and thanked me. They smiled as I told them I would fully enjoy tonight and the wedding tomorrow. We joyfully went to the Storm home. Marcy had me undress but had me sitting around before she would let me put on my pantyhose and dress.

“I am sorry but I don’t trust you to keep yourself together.”

“While you may be right, being around women changing and making themselves beautiful, even if it is more casual, is more than I am use too. You should have helped me dress and sent me to sit with Grandpa Will.”

Marcy and Faith made light of my progress, “Brianna, in just a few days you have gotten very good with pantyhose and getting dressed.” Marcy said to Faith, “Let’s see how Brianna does with the 3” heels.” The truth was they had me practicing the last two days. Mandy interrupted, “It’s almost like she has done it before.” Marcy and Faith stood around me with mischievous smiles on their face “Don’t worry Brianna we are not getting into this topic now. We appreciate your help and want you to focus on enjoying your part in the wedding.

I went and sat with Pop Pop, and he thanked me for all I was doing. I snuggle up to Pop like I did as a little kid, but now I felt like his Granddaughter. “Pop Pop, I like helping the Storms and being your Granddaughter. Do you think Grandmother would be proud of me?”

“She is proud of how you look, what you are doing for friends and especially proud of your new found music talent.” Grandpa smiled as though he actually could see her happy.

“Can you tell me a little about Grandma while we are waiting?” He started sharing one thing after another and he was smiling. “Grandpa, why didn’t you share more before?”

“Brianna, where you were a baby and growing up it pained me, I hurt to think about her and sorry that you were too young to understand. Right now we are sharing an experience together and I can share the memories of your Grandmother and you are big enough to understand.”

“Bree make sure you have everything you need in your purse and let’s get going to rehearsal,” Marcy said. ‘Bree’, I liked that the sisters were riding together and I was considered one of them. It might not last long but I am set on enjoying these two days. So I got my purse and we were on our way.

Once there quickly told the women that I was wearing the nail polish to be used for the wedding. I did not realize how much attention it would draw. Once Faith pointed out my eye make-up I thought I was back to being that boy who drew all those comments about my eyelashes. This time however they were complimenting me how naturally beautiful they were. “How did they make them so beautiful and your lashes so long, I can hardly see and mascara?”

Luckily we did not have to wait long for the rehearsal to begin. The Pastor walked us through the general wedding ceremony twice, from the processional in, though the ceremony and to processing out. My responsibility as an usher was given after rehearsing the wedding. I was to be the first with a Junior Groomsmen to process down the aisle. I was kind of between the rest of the Bridal party and Mandy’s parents and grandparents. The other Junior Bridesmaid was from Richard’s side of the family so she would get to escort his grandparents and parents before the beginning of the ceremony.

Carly, the flower girl did well in processing down but was a pistol neither sitting down nor staying still until she wanted up in my arms. She was three years old and I needed to use a hip like other girls to hold her in place. Others saw it as very cute, but more and more people were seeing me as a girl and that both bothered me and excited me.

As the first walk thru was ending the pastor asked if I would honor the service by singing one verse of “How Great Thou Art”. I was caught by surprise and found myself saying yes, but asked if we could sing it the second walk thru. I hoped it would sound poor enough they would rethink their request.

As I went to the pianist to check which verse I would sing, I saw someone carrying the wedding gown and I saw enough to take my breath away and excited me. To triple dose my pleasure as we process down the aisle for the second walk thru, I saw my grandpa and realized I would get to escort him in before the wedding.

Carly the second time through knew enough to come to me and when it came time to sing at the end of the service I was in to it and the song including the refrain went very well. I could not match the strength and beauty of Carrie’s voice, but I sought to reflect her joy as I sang.

Ed’s Grandmother wanted to walk in and out from the wedding ceremony free of her walker. I took both of her hands as we walked half way down before I let her take my arm. We did the opposite as we walked out. Ma Ruth understood the difficulty of what I was doing. Walking backwards on heels for a woman is regularly difficult enough. I kind of enjoyed the challenge and thanked God for Her help when I was done.

Escorting Pop Pop was easier and a pure joy and as he let go he told me, “Tomorrow you Grandmother will be walking with us.” I felt breeze sweep across my ear and blow that side of my hair. “She’s with you even now, isn’t she?” I did not know what was happening but enjoyed the thought it could be the spirit of my Grandmother.

We soon went to check the wedding gown and our changing area before heading to the rehearsal dinner. I had never been so enchanted with the beauty of a wedding gown. I held the silk, satin, lace, tulle all glistening white made up the beautiful gown. Yes there were sequins, pearls and precious buttons.

After the rehearsal dinner Richard and Mandy were giving out gifts to those participating in the wedding party. Mandy came handing me a small gift saying she would replace it after the wedding for something more appropriate. When I opened the gift and found a pearl necklace, I asked Marcy, “Why would Mandy want to replace the gift?”

Mandy giggled and asked, “Would you really want to keep a pearl necklace? Where would you wear it?” As I realized what Marcy was saying my eyes teared and she gave me a hug, as she knew I wanted to say yes. “Stop that right now or you will wreck your beautiful eyes.”

Mandy was to go out with the women in her bridal party, but I excused myself saying I needed my sleep. Seriously I knew it was a girl moment for those who shared a longer time in her life. I needed to spend some precious time with Ma Ruth and Pop Pop.

Ruth was checking things for the morning and for the day. She headed for the kitchen and I went to help her and Pop came to sit and visit as we worked. I was set to peel carrots then to cut them into sticks, then a good number of celery sticks. Then there was fresh broccoli and collie flower.

But it was Pop and Ruth talking to me or about me that kept my attention. “You did well with Carly, but I didn’t know where you learned to hold a child on your hip.” Pop said, “I thought you were quite lady like all night, but I would like to know how you felt earlier when you saw your eyes?”

“Did you think my eyes looked especially pretty, Grandpa?”

“I think what I liked was the same as you, Brianna. They were on a girl and Ruth said very little make-up was used,” my Grandpa had commented. I went to my purse and pulled out a small compact to see if my make-up had held.

“Yes. It held dear,” said Ruth. “Do you remember that you checked it twice and the church and at least once at the rehearsal dinner.” I thought she was kidding me, but she said, “It seems to be coming quite natural the things you learn as Brianna.” She gave me a hug as she led me over to my Grandfather where I sat and cuddled with him.

“Will did you ever think you would see a day like today? I am sure Grace is enjoying this time with you. What do you think your Son, Charles, and his Mom will say?”

“We don’t need to tell my parents any more than we have to! ... ”

Ruth broke back in, “Brianna, I mean Brice; it is not like they don’t know you’re being a bridesmaid. If you act like it is a secret, you will rob them. This is a natural opportunity for them to accept you as we have.” Pop Pop agreed as he gave me s huge snuggle and his whiskers were coarse like sandpaper on my cheeks.

I had showered and changed into a nightgown and robe and came back to say goodnight. Marcy, Faith and Mandy came through the door. “Brianna, if you are sleeping in my room you will need to sleep on the floor. The Bride gets my bed and I am sleeping in the second bed,” Marcy told me.

Faith said, “How about I get ready for bed and Brianna and I will both sleep on the floor. It will be the four sisters. I enjoyed so many thinking Brianna was the youngest sister. It was a nice compliment as several thought she looked more like Mandy, Marcy or me.”

“Karen said, ‘Dad must have spent the last of his sperm giving Brianna those eyelashes.” I cringed as that was more than I wanted to hear, but the others even Mom giggled. I was glad that Grandpa had gone to bed. I stayed with Mom for a quiet time, allowing the others to shower and get ready for bed.

Mom sent me in with some sheets, blankets and extra pillows. I was lying down as Mandy came out of the bathroom with a towel around her hair and another around her body. “Brianna, I appreciate your not staring but neither do you need to hide your eyes,” said Mandy. “You are showing all the parts I have, so don’t act as though you are not a sister.”

We continued to visit as Mandy finished getting ready for bed, but I admit to falling asleep as they visited longer than I could stay awake. Marcy was the first to wake at 6:00 a.m. and she woke me. She gave me an outfit to change into saying not to worry about a lot of make-up.

I was ready to go to the kitchen for breakfast when Mandy spoke up. “See I enjoyed seeing you in your splendor get ready for the day.” With that I hurried out the door and down to the kitchen where Pop and Ruth asked what had me so embarrassed.

Mom had us pose for a number of pictures and was ready to send three of us to the salon when my phone rang. It was my real Mom calling to say hello and tell me to enjoy the day. “You look like another one of the girls in the Bridal party.” I can’t believe you are my little boy. Tell Ruth I appreciate watching you from afar.”

“Don’t worry Mom after today; I will be back as your youngest son.”

“Tell Ruth I want at least your Bridesmaid gown sent back so I can see you in it in the flesh. I will be more than happy to have it cleaned and properly sent back to her.”

“You can’t mean that Mom, I would be way too embarrassed.”

“I do mean it and you can put Ruth or your Grandpa on the line so they know what I want. Today I just want you to be Brianna and behave yourself. We can take care of the other stuff when you are home,” my Mom said quite emphatically.

It was nine when Marcy, Faith and I arrived at the salon. Mandy and the Maid of Honor would be a half hour behind us. The Moms were going to the salon Ruth used. I was taken back to have my hair done. It was more than before with the hair shampooed, conditioned and then it was decided to give me a permanent and more style. I enjoyed the experience of getting a permanent and my hair up in rollers and actually brushed and combed out.

My nail polish was removed and redone, as was my make-up. It was something to see all the attention Amanda was receiving. I wanted to be a bride for a moment, but laughed at the thought. With Marcy and Faith done Mandy had her limo take us to the church to start getting dressed. I was given my special set of panties and the bra and after the slip the dress was carefully dropped over my shoulders and as it glided down my body my whole body shivered with excitement. It was my breasts feeling aroused and then the warm dampness of my bottom that took me by surprise.

I let out a moan of enjoyment and Marcy took me aside, asking where I learned that. I told her what happened and how I felt and she said we needed to talk after the wedding and reception as she was concerned. She zipped up and hooked the back of my gown. “Why don’t you get a small sandwich and a few sips of something clear to drink, but make sure you and your gown remains spotless. I think Mandy wants you to help her and her final preparations for the wedding.”

I giggled thinking it was a funny joke but after a small bite to eat and drink; Mandy was there and asking for me. She was down to her panties and bra as I came into her changing room. She was a well endowed woman, not very big except how she filled out her frame. She had fun knowing I was nervous and wanted to look away.

Mandy was beautiful, and while I was uncomfortable; I was also excited and thankful to be there. Once when we were alone, I said, “Mandy, (my eyes teared and I paused) thank you, I do not understand why you allowed me in to this precious moment, but Brianna is eternally thankful.”

She drew me in with a hug, “Because today you are Brianna, my little sister and it’s the only day I am getting married. I want you to have a special place in my life forever.” Others came back and we were ready to help her step into her gown. There were over twenty little pearl buttons that needed little loops to go over them and I was given the job as my last responsibility before pictures and then to be an usher.

Carly, the flower girl found and latched onto me when picture were being taken. Her Mom would take her here and there, but she ended finding her way back to me. Ruth felt sensed something and told me to be ready for Carly during the wedding; I already owe you but we may really need you to help us here.

One usher told a person I was Carrie Underwood’s guest singer, I quickly took him aside and said, “Johnny, this is Mandy and Richard’s day, I do not want to become a freaking side show today. If the guests bring it up I will handle it, but please let’s keep the focus on the wedding.” Another one of the ushers gave me a hug.

Fifteen minutes before the wedding, I excused myself and made my way to a little used woman’s room. I took care of what the necessity, gaining appreciation for what dressed up women need to go through. I checked and fixed my make-up and worried how I was doing. I made my way to the Bridal party, picked up my flowers and asked Marcy how I looked.

“I can tell you already checked your make-up and hair haven’t you? I want to compliment you on learning so fast. I just wanted to suggest that Grandpa Will be given a kiss on the cheek from his granddaughter when she escorts him.”

I smiled, “That is sweet of you to suggest that and I think I will.” I hurried to the back of the church to help usher the grandparents. The candle lighters had preceded us and now the other Junior Bridesmaid was escorting Richard’s Grandparents.

Then it was my turn I first escorted Mrs. Strong; I walked in front of her holding both hands as we made our way just over a half way then I presented my arm and with a big smile she finished walking to her seat. Then there were the Johnsons, Marguerite was petite and she already had tears and Maxwell proper and had his handkerchief ready for his wife as they sat down.

Now I was back to escort Grandpa and it was I who was fighting not to cry. “Grace this is your Granddaughter Brianna.” Not having a person to hug or arm to take, I curtsied. “Please take three steps escorting your grandmother then I will join you for the sake of the others, but I wanted you to know she is with you.” said my Pop Pop. I took three steps with my arm out to escort Grandma Grace then Grandpa joined me. There was a pause that only Grandpa and I understood. I tapped pop on the shoulder and when he turned to ask what I gave him a kiss on the cheek. And he sat down.

When I walked back the first Bridesmaid handed me my flowers and Kate, the other Junior Bridesmaid, and I were ready to begin the processional. A Groomsman escorted Richards Parents and Marcy escorted her Mother giving her a kiss on the cheek before she came back.

We waited for the Pastor and Groom to be in place and then the music began. Kate and I stepped out together and walked slowly but did not do the stutter step. Supposedly it was because of the guys, but I and the Bride’s party was happy as well. Carly did well in processing down and dropping the flowers. The Ring bearer was a little slow but Carly stayed after him and pulled him along when needed.

The Amanda and Groom came down and I was awestruck with the beauty of the Bride and knew I wanted to be one. The couple began the ceremony on the main floor and like clockwork when they went up to the chancel area, joined by the Maid of Honor and Best Man, Carly began to act up until she came to me. I sought to pick her up as at Rehearsal, but Carly said, “My mother said I needed to sit on the floor with you and be a good girl.”

I wasn’t sure what to do when Ruth whispered for me to unbutton the side of my skirt, which I quickly did. I was able to make it to the floor and Carly sat on my left leg and I strained to sit up straight like a lady. Despite one song and another musical number, the wedding service moved quickly and beautifully. The couple exchanged rings with each other and then roses with their own parents and the parents of the family they were joining. All this time Carly and I sat on the floor watching it all.

The wedding was now nearing the end as Carly got up and I struggled to stand as my left leg had fallen asleep. I was standing but in the way of the couple as the Blessing is completed. I can’t yet move or I will fall. I curtsied as did Carly. It wasn’t scripted, but it was cute and gave me the needed time to gain my balance and back off. Marcy took my flowers and handed me a microphone and I began their recessional song.

I was glad we didn’t have to stand in the receiving line and that there were only a small number of pictures to be taken. The photographer did want a picture from the front of Carly and I sitting on the floor and another of me singing along with the traditional pictures to be taken.

We, the wedding party rode in a stretch limousine through Mandy’s neighborhood, to their new house where we got as well as to a park with a neat overlook of a lake and the park. Marcy or Faith were usually close by as the Groomsmen and Ushers were each taking turns giving me their attention. I was flattered they saw me as a pretty girl but I was uncomfortable with the attention. “You might as well relax and enjoy it, unless you want people to wonder,” said Marcy and Faith said something similar.

One of the ushers wrapped his arms around me for one picture and I leaned back as it felt good. When I turned around to see who it was and to thank him he kissed me on the cheek and gave me a hug. When I complained of my high heels and walking on the ground. He swooped me off my feet and carried me back to the limo.

Faith joked, “I see you decided to relax and be comfortable.” Marcy joked that he better not spoil my blossom as I was quite young. He blushed at that but not as much as I when I understood the implications. Finally we were at the reception. After the Bride and Groom’s first dance then there were dances with their parents. Next there was a dance for those in the wedding party.

Everyone save me had a partner, there were a number of guys raising their hand or speaking up for the possibility. One person was pointing to a guy next to her and I decided that would be a safe choice. I went and asked him to dance with me; he paused pushed himself away from a table rose to be a 6’2” hunk. My feelings as a girl were very frustrating to Brice, though I was not listening.

He took my hand leading us to the dance area and introduced himself, Josh Smith. Faith greeted Josh while we were dancing; “Brianna did you know that you chose an authentic student athlete, he was received in the National Honor Society at the end of his freshman year.” I looked up and could tell he was embarrassed.

“I don’t know all your achievements, you just look like a good guy to know and be with. After you stood up I could see the athletic possibility. I am impressed that Faith calls you a real student athlete.” As the dance ended it was announced the next dance and one each hour would be a waltz.

Josh asked if I knew how to waltz and I immediately said yes but forgot I learned it as a guy. So I quickly added, “But not very well.” Josh smirked and said, “Let me lead and you just relax, listen to me and enjoy.” I did that and was surprised how well we did. It took half the dance to trust my following him. But the movement and the feel of my gown were quite enjoyable.

When we walked off the dance floor Ruth and Grandpa both greeted me with smiles talking about how well I had done. I was glad they complimented Josh as it took some attention off of me. I needed to relax and take in what I was able to do. Several guys wanted me to dance and I did.

It was nice when Richard cut in and thanked me for being part of the wedding. The next dance Mandy was dancing with me. “Hey Brianna I am quite impressed with all my little sister can do. I so appreciated your singing and how well you handled Carly. Allowing her to sit on you and then the curtsy before the song was so sweet of you. Carly and you together was precious. The photographer says she was able to get several pictures of you two.”

That dance ended and Marcy came up suggesting a dance of the four sisters and their Mom with their boyfriends. They quickly agreed and called Josh for me. Richard asked for his sister and mother to get their boyfriends as well as his sister and her husband. So it started out with eight pairs of dancers. When the dance ended the MC asked all of the couples to share a huge kiss in celebration of Mandy and Rich’s marriage.

I was caught leaning back as I was surprised when Josh so readily swooped down to kiss me. Everyone save me thought it was such a darling picture. It was a warm and beautiful kiss. My mouth opened in surprise was taken as an invitation by Josh to give me a French kiss. It was so nice and quick that I found myself naturally responding in kind. To my embarrassment as Josh pulled back I reached for his head as if to stop him.

The next dance happened to be a waltz, so Josh and I remained as dance partners. We were once again dancing around the floor doing better than the first time. Then Josh drew me close and there we stayed and slowed down some. First I wondered if I had done something wrong, until I felt Josh pressing hard against me. It was then I realized Josh was very turned on and to keep from embarrassing himself we finished the dance this way.

We had maneuvered such that as the dance ended we were able to walk away from the crows and outside undetected. Once he fixed himself the best he could we went for a walk and talked. “Josh,” I said, “I was not expecting a kiss. I had kissed a boy for the first time just two days ago.” We laughed at how it transpired and quickly became a French kiss.

He said, “But it felt so good I how do you explain the passion of the kiss if it was all by accident?”

“I might have been surprised, but I didn’t say I didn’t like it. You are quite a hunk for a young girl to find herself kissing.”

“You might be a young but you are not a girl, (my heart quickly stopped) but a beautiful, enticing young woman.”

I looked down and saw that Josh was starting to become aroused again. “I think I will go back in and let you cool off a little. I would like to dance again later if you can handle it.”

I went back to my table and took a sip of my drink and realized it was now champagne. It tasted good and not like anything strong. The dance went on with the dollar dance and a number of cute events. I was coaxed into singing a Carrie Underwood song and as I was singing Marcy was waving for me to stop. She took the microphone, “Carrie Underwood is on the phone to extend her greetings to Rich and Mandy. She heard Brianna singing in the background.” Then she put the phone to the microphone and told Carrie to go ahead and speak.

Carrie “I am at an intermission and I just wanted to share Richard and Mandy that I wish you the best in your married life and that you enjoy your marriage, as much as I enjoy mine. I do want to ask those gathered with you how is my young friend and little sister doing in singing for you. Does she sound good to you, I really want to know.” Some of the people began to applaud and others cheered and the response grew quite strong.

“Brianna, I heard you were making-out with a guy and I want you to regain your lady-like composure. Sorry I can’t be with you as I need to run, good-bye and my greetings to all.” The crowd became very quiet as they were quite impressed as was the couple that she would call. Marcy asked me to close my singing with “Jesus Take the Wheel”. I had not sung it before, but the MC had been given a split track CD and quieted the sound of Carrie. It felt good though I knew I was no Carrie.

It was about 11:30 and the couple was seeking to be away just before midnight. Many was asked to sit as Richard raised her skirt to retrieve the garter. The single girls were asked to gather for the throwing of her bouquet. I didn’t want to be a part of it, but was ultimately encouraged by Mandy and forced by others to take part. I thought I was off enough to the side to be safe, but Mandy was distracted as she threw and the bouquet came in my direction and I jumped and caught it much to my surprise.

Mason, a college classmate of Richard, caught the garter. I thought all that was over as a younger kid I had not stayed around or remembered if I did. I needed to take a as he placed the garter as high up on my leg as he dared. I had drunk another glass of champagne and my courage us up and good judgment was down. I sat and teased Mason a little bit, but he did not need any encouragement. It was I who was now being teased as he gently slid up the garter. Even half way up my calf I was already getting excited and as he got up to my knee I raised my skirt just a bit higher. One of his hands slid higher on my leg.

Marcy approached from the back and took one of my hands and whispered she was there and I was doing fine. I joked back but my voice carried, “Then why don’t you sit here with a man’s hand up your leg?” The crowd laughed and I regained my composure and dared Mason to go another 3”. Well he went five and I was sure his hand touched my panty. My body trembled from nerves I thought, but the feelings were like fireworks of joy.

Marcy and I went to the women’s room as Mason wanted the garter for a souvenir and I was not having him, under my skirt again. I told Marcy about my trembling with fear, then explained the joy and she told me, “It looked like you might have experienced a small orgasm or ejaculation but it doesn’t smell like you did.”

When I told Marcy that it wasn’t that, it was from inside and nothing came out and it was up around my heart as well. Marcy smiled and when I asked and even insisted she tell me she said it needed to wait until later. She did hug me and said she was happy for me.

Everyone that was left saw the couple off and while some left the party continued until just after 1:00 p.m. During the evening I had a couple of dances with Pop Pop, a slew with various guys most of whom I did not know nor would remember. But the last two were again with Josh.

I helped gather decorations, centerpieces and other things as Ruth asked, but alas I was tired and fading fast. Josh no sooner said he would help me to the car and I found myself swooning in his arms and he lifted me up and carried me to the car. A cool breeze awakened me enough to enjoy being carried and placed into the car. Ruth suggested to Josh that he ride with us as they could use the help in getting me into the house. Yes, Marcy and Faith were coming home, and Ed could have helped me as well.

Josh got me up to Marcy’s room and as he gently set me down; I said, “You are sure lucky to be a guy. You can go home and flop down and even sleep in your clothes. Did you realize I have to wake up, get undressed take off my make-up, fix my hair for the night, be nice to my skin. That doesn’t include hanging up by beautiful gown, unharness my bra and more that I won’t even mention to a guy.”

“Then when my sisters come home or Mom Ruth comes in we will get into conversations and wound up and I will pay for it in the morning. Do you realized all that of course you don’t you a guy. …I do want to thank you for being a sweet guy and being nice to me. I don’t understand that either, but I thank you and God.”

“O God, I hope no one expects me to be up early to go to church. Thanks Josh I better let you go before I talk or nibble that cute ear off.”

Marcy was at the doorway, though I don’t know for how long, “That was very cute L’tle Sis, remind me to tell you sometime you will remember. …Thanks Josh for all of your help. She’s not use to many days like this week.”

Josh excused himself and walked four houses away to his own home.

There is something therapeutic about taking care of oneself, getting ready for bed and talking to another girl. I could feel myself come back to life. Not anymore rested, but as Mom and Faith made their way to the room we knew we needed to relive the day with each other. I took a quick shower, wrapping one towel around my hair and another around my body. I patted myself dry and scooted on a baby-doll bottom and then the top as I dropped that towel in perfect timing. The other women laughed and I mimicked them, “Boy she has learned a lot in less than a week.” They all smirked and giggled at me.

Marcy too changed in the room but it was Brianna who jealously watched, not Brice. I could not believe how much more others saw and experienced in the wedding and after. They knew most of what I did, but patiently shared what they already knew and some insights that they had missed.

Marcy’s boyfriend proposed sometime during the evening, but Marcy wasn’t biting, 10 she wasn’t sure about her relationship with him and 2) It was way too early for her like Mandy she valued herself and her education. Ruth didn’t discount that there was some hurt there.

Luckily Faith had two years of high school or she would have said yes to Ricky. But it was their Sister that dominated the evening. Mom stories ranged from Mandy’s birth, so many life events, letter her go and watching her blossom.

Somewhere in there, I fell asleep faintly remembering my sisters and Carolina Mama praying over me and each giving me a kiss goodnight. Was restless that night wonder when and knowing I had to change back to being Brice.

After Mandy and Richard opened their gifts and set out for the Honeymoon we were to go to the shore. Pop Pop and I would head home from there. I was sure it was Brice who was to go to the beach, and that I needed to get back to being him. Part of me however wanted a dayat the beach as Brianna. Who was to win out?

To be continued

Your comments and kudos are greatly appreciated.Please take the time to let the author know if you liked the story. My thanks to J for proof reading and several helpful suggestions. Any errors you find are from me the writer.

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