Splish Splash

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Have you ever had a bad day at school? Did the class bully push you around? How do you deal with it? A bubble bath of course!

 
 
Splish Splash!

By

grover

 

Disclaimer: This is fiction so please treat it as such. Mr. Bubbles is a trademark that is used without permission but no slander is intended. Many thanks to Holly Logan and Sephrena Miller for their help in making this readable!

 
 
Paul struggled though the kitchen back door half dragging his book bag. Cursing his small size, he half threw-half lifted his bag onto the table. Wincing at the bang, he hoped his Mom hadn't heard. If he was lucky he could change in the laundry room and keep his current sorry state of affairs to himself. That hope was dashed as she cleared her throat behind him.

Mary Noel wondered what had happened to her son this time. He was mostly covered in mud and it looked if his shirt was torn. She knew it was hard on him starting at a new school, but also knew that no matter what had happened, he would just say he fell. Her husband Peter was a good man and husband, but he couldn't completely hide his disappointment in his son's small stature and lack of anything reassembling athletic ability. Peter had been a real jock in school but hadn't let that turn him into a jerk. One of their first fights had been over Paul starting growth hormones. Sighing, “Paul what happen?”

Turning to face his Mom, Paul guiltily looked at the somewhat clean shoes that he had carefully wiped before coming in so he wouldn't leave incriminating tracks. “Hmmm... I fell, Mom. I'm sorry.” He was really hoping she would leave it at that and he would not have to tell her about getting jumped by Jack the Dragon again. Paul had nicked named him ‘The Dragon’, after reading Tolkien's “Hobbit” because Jack reminded him of Smaug. Jack had been held back not once but twice, so he towered over the rest of his fifth grade classmates. Paul who was the smallest of them all had become the dragon's favorite punching bag.

She knew he wasn't telling her the entire truth. Mary suspected that Paul was being victimized by a bully. The problem was, Mary wasn't sure what to do about it. Her jock husband's advice to, "Stand up for yourself and fight back!" doesn't work when you are under a hundred pounds. She felt that was at least part of the reason why her son was being evasive. If she pressed him she could get him to confess but that wouldn't solve the problem.

“If you said you fell, then you fell, but if this happens one more time I'm going to have to get involved, understand?”

Paul tried not to let his relief show. Having to sit though another of his Dad's “You just punch him out and he won't bother you anymore” speeches. Just how was he supposed to do that? Jack was over a foot taller than he was. Paul knew his Dad was frustrated with him for not following his instructions, but he couldn't help it!

“Yes Mom, I'll be more careful next time.”

She folded her arms, feeling the situation with Paul was coming to a head. Peter, the big lunk, was at a loss at what to do. Just like always, when faced with a problem his brains couldn't solve he fell back on bulling his way though. It might work fine on a construction site, but not for problems involving undersized 11 year olds.

“Alright young man, you better get cleaned up before your father gets home. I'll go ahead and wash your clothes, so you had better hop in the bath.”

Paul was ecstatic to be let off the hook this time. “Mom, would a bubble bath be okay?”

She kept her face from smiling back at her son. He had always enjoyed playing with the bubbles, and she had never had the troubles with him that his sister Jackie had given her about baths. It was another omen of the looming trouble with Peter was he thought Paul was too old for bubbles, but had carefully avoided calling it girly in her hearing. He did ask her to stop buying it, and when the last was gone no more would be forthcoming and as a compromise she had agreed. She and Paul had rationed what was left with a miser’s hand. The fact he had asked for it, demonstrated to her more than anything else, that her son, had indeed had a bad day.

“Just as long as you remember that when this bottle is empty there isn't anymore. Yes, you may have a bubble bath.”

Grinning, he quickly ran to the laundry. Mom made Dad change downstairs in there so he wouldn't bring his “Construction site into her living room.” Now, everyone kept extra changes in there to keep from tracking dirt into the house when extra dirty. While hopping on one foot, pulling up his shorts he dropped his muddy clothes in the laundry sink.

Mary started her son's bath, sad that Peter had a point. Paul was growing up and was getting too old for her to baby like she used to. Reaching for the Mr. Bubbles bottle, she was surprised when it felt empty. Had Paul used it all up and not told her she wondered. But that didn't feel right. Suspicious, she tried to open the bottle and had her intuition confirmed when she found she couldn't open the bottle. "Peter Noel!" She swore.

Her husband always over tightened lids and caps, and it didn't take long for her to guess her husband had welched on their compromise. He must have poured the rest out, Argh! Well, two can play that game. She thought they might have some more bubble bath downstairs in the basement where all the yet to be unpacked boxes were being hidden.

As Mary headed for the basement, ‘Oh husband of mine we are going to have a little talk!’ “Paul rinse off your stuff in the sink, I'll be right back.”

Paul answered, “Sure, Mom.” He was washing the gritty dirt down the drain when his eye caught the pink of some of his sister's stuff peeking out of a basket on top of the dryer. Woefully he looked down in the sink at the results of Jack the Dragon pushing him into a mud puddle. It wasn't enough for him to be picked on for being the new kid and being small. Looking over at the so soft flash of pink, he began to wonder if he had even bigger problems. More and more, Paul was feeling that somewhere, somehow he had ended up a boy, when he should've been a girl. Thinking about the troubles with he was having with his Dad right now, he shuddered, considering how Dad would react to news like that!

Mary, watching her step, descended into the cluttered basement. They'd had a pre-closing house inspection that testified that dangers such as termites and radon gas weren't present, but she still smelled something down there. Jackie and Paul said they thought they smelled something as well, but didn't know what... Peter had given them all a patronizing look and said he didn't smell a thing.

Thinking of him reminded her why she was down here in the dungeon. There it was, right there on the shelf, Mr. Bubbles. To her surprise, it was an older looking box, rather than the bottles she always bought, which meant it was something that had somehow been left behind by the previous occupants. The box was just like new, and hadn't even been opened, just an older style. As much as she wanted to shove her beloved husband's face into his high handedness, she wasn't about to endanger Paul. Checking, she saw no signs of tampering or damage to the package at all; no expiration date or shelf-life status was printed on it either.

Opening the box, she sniffed, finding only the familiar scent, and it wasn't caked or anything. Mary, chewing on a lip, decided she would test it first before letting Paul try it, but only because she knew how much he was looking forward to this. Going back up the stairs, she made a promise to herself that Paul would have an entire case tomorrow, right after Peter, unknown to him, got up from the couch where he was going to be sleeping tonight. Shutting the door behind her as she turned off the light, she missed seeing the brilliant pink luminescent ooze that lit up the basement walls.

Paul finished, and tossed the wet clothes into the washer. Making a supreme effort he passed Jackie's stuff without touching it, thinking instead of his coming bubble bath. Bubble bath, Yay! Almost skipping up the stairs, he hurried because he knew they were on the clock. Jackie would be home from school soon, and it was possible she would snitch on them. She had become almost impossible to live with since she started high school, as if that changed anything. He ran into his room to grab clean clothes and then charged to the bath.

Mary followed the directions on the box and almost had second thoughts on seeing just how pink these bubbles were, WOW! She still didn't smell anything but the normal scent, and tested it with her hand. Okay, no irritation or discoloration. Hearing Paul run in, “Young man, you know better than that. No running in the house! Here, put your hand in the suds. If it feels odd, or starts to burn, take it out at once, Okay?”

“Whoa! Now those are bubbles!” They were so pink they seemed to glow. “Sure Mom! Just like with any new shampoo, right? You test it first, and if it's okay, you go ahead and use it. Are you sure this is Mr. Bubbles?” he asked, half afraid that it might be something of Jackie's. If it was, she would be sure to tell Dad, but he knew he'd had enough for two more baths.

She smiled, thinking he was afraid of the girl aspects of using his sister's stuff, although as pink as this stuff was, she would think any male would run for the hills! “No burning, nothing odd?

“No Mom, it's fine.” . He enjoyed the feel of the bubbles and blew them into the air.

“Fine, but if you start to feel anything, get out immediately and call me, understand?” She gave her son a stern glance as she left him. ‘They do grow up so fast’ she sighed as she closed the door.

“Yes, Mom,” Paul rolled his eyes at her back and gleefully splashed into the pink wonderland. Bubbles flew everywhere, as if they had a life of their own. Shooting the door a distrusting eye, he used the bubbles to give himself a bubble hairdo and breasts. It was fun to imagine himself as a her, but the tingling of the bath felt so good after being chilled by his mud bath that he lowered himself down until he was almost submerged in pink. With a smile he closed his eyes while the stresses of the day were swallowed up by pink bubbles.

Mary checked the clock. That son of hers had been up there for nearly a hour. Getting up, she went to chase him out of his bubbles, for the rest of the family would be home soon. Knocking on the door, she called, “Paul, come on and get out now. Everyone is going to be home soon.”

Paul's eyes shot open in alarm. ‘Oh no, I dozed off!’ He clumsily got out of the tub, noticing the bubbles were no longer as pink as before. Feeling a little odd, he toweled off and wondered if he had stayed in too long, for his skin was really tender. “I'm drying off now, Mom!”

Her eyebrows rose, ‘That didn't sound like Paul!’ Taking a deep breath, she knew she should've checked on him earlier. Now he would be embarrassed because she would have to check to ensure he was alright. “Paul I'm coming in to make sure you're okay.”

“Mom!” Paul protested as his Mom walked in.

Mary eyes boggled, “Who are you? Where's Paul?”

There was no sign of her son, just this girl standing there. She was a small, about Paul's height, but with longer, lighter colored hair. Her eyes looked a lot like her daughter Jackie's, except green instead of blue. The expression on the girl's face was one of shock and confusion. That was pure Paul.

It couldn't be,’ she thought. ‘Paul was having a bath … Paul disappears … and leaves this girl behind that looks just like his sister at his age.’

“Paul?” she asked uncertainly.

Paul stood there wondering what was wrong with his Mom. Why didn't she know him?

“Yes, Mom. It's me. What's wrong?” he asked, turning to look into the mirror to find out what his Mom was looking at.

Her eyes flew opened in disbelief. That’s me!,’ she thought, touching her face.

The Mr. Bubble box sitting on the sink counter caught her attention. In bold type it read, “Mr. Bubble gets you so clean your mother won't know you, Copyright 1963.”

In a daze, she looked down, “Yep, cleaned it right off.”

There was a thump as her Mom slumped unconscious onto the bathroom floor.

 

The End

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Comments

Mr. Bubble

I laughed when I read this. Years ago I remember reading about the hundreds of kids who experience minor skin burns when their mothers put Mr. Bubble in the tub, added the young child, and then added water. Mr. Bubble is a wonderful product made by the same company who distributed Glass Wax, which sponsored Perry Como - years ago, but Mr. Bubble was caustic in the wrong solution. Evidently the good people at Gold Seal must have gotten things worked out.

Nice story.

Angela Rasch (Jill M I)

Angela Rasch (Jill M I)

BUBBLEICIOUS!

laika's picture

That was the cutest!
A lot of unanswered questions, but yer right grover, it had to end there!
Could practically hear that muted trumpet going, "Whhaaaaaant, whhaaaaahhhhhh!!!"
Always enjoyed your comments, but this I think is the first story of yers I've read. I'll have to dig deeper into your archive here...

Ah but two unanswered questions, maybe three

Grover,

Will mom still make dad take a bath in a case of it? if a normal amount made the runt into a pretty young girl, a case would make dad into a Playboy Centerfold at least, maybe a goddess. Damn, maybe mom should save some in place of plastic surgury as she ages? Where an I get me some of this?

Will she charm the pants of the bully and they end up girl and boyfriend, her leading him around like a puppy?

Will she fill water balloons or squirt guns with this stuff and carry out a terible revenge on all her tormentors?

My god! What if they had put this stuff in Lawrence Welk's bubble machines?

Very funny stuff Grover, Miki is proud,

John in Wauwatosa

John in Wauwatosa

Coincidence -- Maybe -- But Wunnerful, Wunnerful

The CEO and founder of Gold Seal, the company that marketed Mr. Bubble, was a close friend of Lawrence Welk. He encouraged Welk to hire Tom Netherton - the pastel leisure-suited crooner. I think Netherton once starred in Harold Schafer's musical production in the outdoor Medora musical. Gold Seal also "owned" the tourist town of Medora, North Dakota which features the Teddy Roosevelt Ranch in the badlands. Schafer's son, Ed, became governor of North Dakota a few years back.

What if those magic bubbles struck some of the members of the cast?

Bobby would become Sissy and Welk would spray the stage announcing "Sissy and Cissy, and boy -- those two can dance to Calcutta."

Arthur Duncan, the first African-American to become a regular on a sponsored television show, would become Beatrice and would dance her way into the living rooms of America.

Lynn Anderson would remain Lynn Anderson, because you can't improve on perfection -- yes, that Lynn Anderson did get her start on the Lawrence Welk Show.

Pete Fountain would transform into Lily Fountian and would have to wear special lipstick to allow her to do those great licks.

The accordion player and fill-in band leader would be a smiling Myrtle Floren.

Lisa Gopper would sing in a falsetto soprano.

Joe Finney would become Josephine as the band played that old standard, which was a Welk favorite - "She's a scamp, she's a tramp, she's a. . .my Josephine."

Netherton wouldn't change a bit as she was already as feminine as she could get. JoAnn Castle would suddenly become much less brassy and actually play, rather than pound her piano. Big Tiny Little would have a size DD bra, but maybe he did already?

"Ahhh One and ahhh two," the tiny raven-haired Lila Welk would count off, between ads for Geritol and Serutan -- which we all know is natures spelled backward. . .no s&^%, it really is.

Angela Rasch (Jill M I)

Angela Rasch (Jill M I)

Okay, I tried to avoid this ...

The thought of Myrte -- not Myra? -- Floren playing the *squeese box* is too funny and sexy to ignor.

There, I've said it. The evil impulse has pased.

You can tell we like this one, Grover.

John in Wauwatosa

John in Wauwatosa

Because, You Cheesehead

Women named Myra don't play accordions -- mere Myrtles do. . .until they shed their Myrtle coil.

Angela Rasch (Jill M I)

Angela Rasch (Jill M I)

Oh, the Pain!

As Doctor Smith would say -- the Lost in Space guy, not Doctor Who's name in UNIT.

That was a world class pun, Angela.

Wasn't there a story called Myrtle the Turtle?

John in Wauwatosa

John in Wauwatosa

Congrats! Usually I like to know, ...

Jezzi Stewart's picture

... "What happens next?" But there are so many possibilities here it is more fun imagining them, all. I like the squirt gun idea - shoot The Dragon in the chest and he remains unchanged except for DD cups ... lactating :-) For a take on a 10 year old boy suddenly turned into a teen girl, but only physically, try "Troop 37" comic: http://www.drunkduck.com/Troop_37/index.php?p=211658

"All the world really is a stage, darlings, so strut your stuff, have fun, and give the public a good show!" Miss Jezzi Belle at the end of each show

BE a lady!

So easy Mr. Bubble could...

Thanks all for the comments. Lila Welk going a one, anna two,anna three... Oh my! LOL! When Scott threw down his gauntlet of challenge over the advertisement "So easy a caveman could do it" I was interested but after spending way too much time trying to convince my muse to cooperate I gave up. No, she just sat there with her arms crossed with a defient look on her face. She doesn't like cavemen. They are hairy and have those brow ridges and she wasn't even going to talk about the smell when they get wet. So I go, "Alright, already WHAT do you want to do?" She looked up at me with a mischievous expression "Bubbles!"

Well as for the Super-soakers, remember Paula required a prolonged soaking immersion. The questions I was tempted to explore was the origin of the "wonderful gadget" the pink ooze. Is their new home too close to 3 Mile Island, a abandoned birth control pill plant, toxic waste dump, or maybe the grave yard/sacred site of a American Indian tribe with peculiar secrets? It the rest of community at risk of becoming a demographic anomaly? Seeing how the Dragon lives close enough to bedevil Paula on her way home is he fated to become a girl friend? What happened to the previous owners? What other items may be contaminated? Is there a yard sale fated for the future?

Plus the number one question just how is the rest of family going to take this? Dad isn't a bad guy its just none of his experience relevant to the problem and he just doesn't know what to do. So instead of admitting he doesn't have a clue; he is falling back on what always worked for him. If he goes too far is Paula going to have two Moms? Is Sis going to welcome her new sister?

Nah, this is the end! Down muse! Back I say, back! I still have way too far to go on my "What's So Novel" entry for more side trips! Glad and happy everyone has had a laugh or two!

I said so in the disclaimer, but I'll say it again. Thanks to Holly Logan and Sephrena Miller for their work above and beyond. Sephrena pointed out a few errors and made suggestions that to my eyes improved the story considerably. Unfortunately this only happen after the initial post so early readers didn't get the benefit of critical eye. Not to mention the education I got regarding format and HTML. Thanks to Holly for her Tand C edit. Thanks again Ladies!
Hugs
grover

PS: John do you think we should find a large pool and dump the entire box in? A Big Closet Pool Party to end all pool parties! You get started on the invitations...

Mislabeled package

It seems like she got a box of Ms. Bubble by mistake.

I had as much fun working on this for you

as your readers seem to have had reading it.

And a few, but not nearly as audacious ideas as some of the other commenters have made.

John, if email won't work for the invitations, email me and I'll send you my snail mail addy.

Holly

One of the most difficult things to give away is kindness.
It usually comes back to you.

Holly

I'm forever blowing bubbles....

Angharad's picture

Shouldn't this have been posted as a soap, or have I cleaned up the market?

Nice one Grover, I enjoyed it.

hugs,

Angharad.

Angharad

Now cut that out! Opps, looks like I did. Oh Rochester , um, ...

Rachel!

Jack, um Jacquline Benny at Lila Welk's pool party.

"Look it's Donna Wilson the stauesque blonde announcer."

Please no more jokes here, I'll wet myself.

It's all your fault, Grover.

Makes one wonder what other odd products are in the basement?

John in Wauwatosa

P.S. Stay away from the Little Bo Peep Ammonia and the 20 Mule Team Borax. Though after a bubble bath Mr Clean looks down right buff!

John in Wauwatosa

Rachel?

I think she's more New Rochelle.

I like this

OK this is one good one, a keeper if I ever saw one.

I would like a box please, just one I'll be good.

Very nice story very nice indeed, well put together, but what is Daddy going to say.

Hugs and Kisses
Melissa Ann

Hugs and Kisses
Melissa Ann

Deja vu

When I was a kid, I did pretty much the same thing in a bubble bath

I remember my Uncle Allen throwing a fit after I came out to my extended family. They didn't accept it, and when I was taking a bath once when his family was visiting, he peeked in the bathroom. I then heard him yelling to my mother that I was, "... taking a bath like a girl!" He was Guamanian, and couldn't get across what he was saying clearly enough. They poo-poohed him and I went to my room with my twin sister and locked the door as we played "Fashion Show" with the new school clothes she had just gotten

Edeyn

Bubbles are feminine?

Rachel Greenham's picture

Is this another US/UK cultural difference? Boys aren't supposed to use bubble-bath because it's girlish or something? Because I certainly never heard of it.

Damn, I could've had some fun with that with Nathan...

I did like the story though. It was sweet. :-)

That is a good ...

Question. I asked my wife what age she thought would be too old for a boy to have a bubble bath. She answered in confusion, "Huh? you can get too old for bubble baths?" There forth my stance on this issue while bubble baths may not be feminine it is certainly not masculine. I seem to recall a few movie scenes with the macho guy taking bubble baths and everyone thought it was funny. At best it would be thought childish if not feminine. Being from the Southern States does warp one perceptions so does anyone else has an opinion? Anyone?

Hugs!
grover

“Yep, cleaned it right off.”

I love her reaction. If only I could wash mine off that easily..

"Treat everyone you meet as though they had a sign on them that said "Fragile, under construction"

dorothycolleen

DogSig.png

I wonder if a sold by SRU

I wonder if a sold by SRU logo is somewhere on the bottle ^^
I guess the old man in the bathrobe just hijacked the mr. bubbles logo ^^

Thank you for writing this interesting story,

Beyogi

You're welcome Beyogi

If only it was that easy, but no. However, it wasn't the wizard either. I'll have to find my notes, but this was what happened when I read about radon and other gases, chemicals and stuff gathering in below ground basements. Not exactly a superfund site, but hey!

hugs
Grover

Loved the ending

I was laughing hard for a few minutes after reading the last two paragraphs! Lovely little story.