Janet L. Stickney
I started taking the pills when I was about 10, thinking I was taking vitamins. I had seen mom take one every day, so when she told me that I had to start taking vitamin pills, I assumed they were the same pills she was taking. Life went on like normal, until just about the time I turned 11. Being used to wearing a tee shirt all the time, I didn't even think about it when I slipped one on that morning. I saw the bumps, but didn't think much about them, and went to breakfast. Mom sat across from me eating, then, when I turned to get something, I heard her breath deeply.
"What's the matter mom? You hurt somewhere?"
"Ahhh, no dear, it's just…take your shirt off for a moment will you?"
She nodded her head yes, so I pulled it over my head and stood facing her. Without a word she moved a bit closer, then touched my chest, on both sides. Her eyes went wider than normal for a moment, then she sat down facing me.
"Go ahead and put your shirt back on." When I did…"Have you been taking anything I don't know about?"
"Just the ones you take every day. You told me you were taking vitamins because they are supposed to be good for you, so I took the same ones you did. Why? Is that wrong?"
"Which vitamins honey?"
"Those small ones. The purple ones. They sort of give me a little more pep mom!"
"Oh dear God! How long have you been taking them?"
"About…over a year I guess, why?"
"Honey, those aren't vitamins, they're my estrogen pills!"
"So? Nothing has happened, what's the problem? I'll just quit taking them!"
"It might be to late honey! Those bumps on your chest? Those are breasts! Girls start developing about your age, and it's caused by the estrogen in their system!"
"Breasts?! I'm going to have breasts?! Mom! I'm not a girl! I don't even want to be a girl!"
"I know that honey, but after taking them for so long, I'm just not sure what'll happen! Maybe you already have so much in your system that nothing we do will stop this…growth! Maybe you'll have to…"
"Mom! No! I won't! I won't dress like a girl! I won't!"
"This is terrible honey, especially if you continue to develop breasts! Then you might have to! If you get big enough to have to wear a bra, then what? Can you see yourself going to school as a boy with boobs? You'll be laughed right out of the school, if the other kids don't hurt you first that is! How about we go see the doctor before we jump to any conclusions? That way we'll know for sure won't we?"
I started to panic, feeling my chest, just to make sure, but as small as they were, even I knew that by the look of horror on her face that she was telling me the truth. We went to see the doctor that very morning, and after a very long examination and a talk with mom in his office, the three of us sat together. That's when the panic I had held in really started to take hold.
"You have the estrogen level of a girl almost twice your age! That means" she said in a very calm voice, "that there is very little I can do for you. Even if you stopped taking the pills, your body will continue to develop, just like a normal girl your age would! I think that based on what your mother told me about her early development, you will probably grow rather quickly, and within a few months, maybe just a bit longer at most, your breasts will become pronounced enough to require assistance. Your hips will get certainly wider and rounder, you'll most likely never develop a deeper, more masculine voice, although I think that it will always be in the range for a girl your age." Putting her elbows on the desk…"Your testicles have not descended, and after checking carefully, I seriously doubt they will. They have atrophied so much under the force of the chemicals that your own body cannot make enough testosterone to combat the effects of the estrogen. In short, you're going to have the body of a girl, and there isn't much I can do to stop it."
I looked at mom, not knowing what to say or do, then I burst into tears. When I finally stopped…
"My…it won't fall of will it?"
"No dear, it won't fall off" the doctor said, "but then again, it won't get much bigger either, and given the effects that I'm positive are going to happen, that might not be a bad thing."
Mom and I left his office and went home, which is when I ran to my room and stripped off my shirt one more time to look again. Small, they poked out a bit, round, with the center a bit bigger and redder than I remembered. I felt my hips, which seemed to be the same, then I fell on the bed crying. I didn't want to be a dumb girl! I didn't! Mom came in a while later and held me in her arms as I sobbed until I couldn't cry any more.
"Part of this is my fault honey; if I had shown you the vitamin bottle you might not have made that mistake! It's a terrible accident, but people all over have to deal with accidents all the time, so we'll just deal with this one together. Besides, things might not happen as fast as the doctor said! We still have some time before it becomes a problem, and you'll be able to finish the school year just like you are, only I don't think you should wear anything that's tight; okay?"
I went back to school, but made sure that nobody ever saw me naked, and I never again wore a tight shirt. Mom didn't go out and buy dresses for me or anything like that, but she would not let me get my hair cut either. At best, I managed to get through the rest of the year without trouble, but each night I would check myself, and I could tell that I was getting bigger. My jeans started to fit loose in the waist and tight in the buns, and my shirts began to feel like they were made from sandpaper. I stopped running so much because my chest was starting to hurt, I hated that because I knew that the day was coming when mom was going to make me wear a bra, and that also meant dresses. It was coming, and there wasn't one thing I could do to stop it. I had quit taking mom's pills, but she started giving me some others that the doctor had prescribed, telling me that "they would help". I assumed they would sort of stop what was happening, but they didn't, and by the time I was out for the summer I was really starting to swell up. My boobs were big enough that my hand would fit over them, but just, and they stuck straight out, and were very tender.
The day after school was out, mom came into my room, a sad smile on her face. It was the day I dreaded. I was going to have to start wearing a bra! Mom had never gotten on my case about taking her pills, because it was accidental and she knew it. But she also made sure that I knew that when the time came, I was going to have no choice. I was going to have to start dressing like a girl. On that day, she came in, made me undress, then measured me before she told me to get dressed.
"You and I are going shopping today. It's time honey, and I want you there to make sure we get the right stuff."
"But mom! I can hide them! Really, I can! I'll just wear…"
"What? Loose clothing? Maybe that would help, but we have to face it honey, there are so many activities at school that sooner or later someone would find out! You have to take gym classes, right? What about that? And if your voice doesn't change like the other boys, you'll always sound like a girl! How bad would that be? I've thought about this as much as you have, and I can't see any other way; can you?"
I fought it, but in the end, like mom, and as much as I hated the idea of it, I knew she was right, so I went to the mall with her, then into the lingerie area. Bras, panties, and nightgowns were bought, then she took me to get a skirt, dress, one pair of shorts, a pair of jeans, and two pairs of shoes before she picked up some blouses and tops. Not many, but enough to make it plain that I had simply run out of choices. By the time we got home I was frantically trying to find a way out of my impending feminization, except that by then mom was very firm about what I had to do, and once we were in my room, it began.
"You'll have to undress honey."
"Please, lets not make this any harder than it already is, okay? Let's just see how the clothes fit."
When I was naked, mom gave me a pair of panties to put on, telling me they were necessary, then she fastened the bra around me, adjusting the straps for fit and comfort. It felt really strange having an elastic band around my chest, but then again, not having my boobs bouncing around felt good. Next came a skirt and top, then the shoes, and finally, she put some makeup on my face and brushed out my hair. When she was done and I saw how I looked, I wanted to cry all over again. I looked like myself, but then again, not at all! It was like looking at my sister, if I had one! Mom left my room, telling me to join her in the kitchen.
"I know that this is going to be very hard on you, but we both have to face facts, don't we? You know that I can't let you go to school as a boy, especially as a boy with with breasts, so our only alternative is having you dress like this! I just cannot see any way that we can avoid it, so we'll just make the best of it, okay?" I didn't move. "What we need to do now is figure out what to call you. Have you thought about it at all?" I shook my head no. "Are there any girls names that you like?" Another shake of my head no. "We'll have to think of one honey, I'm sure that you don't want to use Nathan when you're dressed like this do you?" With tears welling in my eyes…"How about Naomi? It's a very nice name honey."
"Naomi? It sounds sort of…"
"Then how about Natalie?"
"That sounds a lot like my own name mom! The kids would know!"
"Okay…then…I know. Why don't we go out and get one of those books of names? We can also get your ears pierced and some jewelry?"
"Do I have to go outside? I mean…look at me!"
"But you look just fine! Besides, you'll have to get used to the idea that from now you'll be wearing clothes just like these! There's nothing wrong with being a girl, after all, I'm a girl!"
"But I'm a boy!"
"That's true, you are a boy, but you changed that by taking those pills honey! It's not your fault I guess, but the facts are that you now have the body of a girl your age, and you're only going to become more like a girl, not less, so you might as well get used to the idea that before long you'll be into makeup and clothes, just like all of the other girls!"
"I won't! I won't be like the girls! I might have to wear the clothes, but I won't like it, and I'm not going to act like one mom! Girls play with dolls and giggle a lot! I'm not like that mom!"
"That's fine. You don't have to be like them, but we both know you'll have to dress like them, don't we?"
Taking me by the hand, I made my first trip outside the house as a girl, going with mom to the book store. Rather than buy it, we sat there looking at all of the girls names, and finally, my finger rested on one of them.
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah, I guess, it's alright."
"Okay, but I was thinking, while Lisa is certainly a very nice name, we already have a Lisa in the family. She's the daughter of your father's sister Carol, so I was thinking that maybe this name right here, Lindsey, might be a better name. How about Lindsey Rose."
It was as good as any, so I agreed. From then on, mom did not cut me any slack at all, taking me to get more clothes, including more panties, another bra, and two more skirts, a dress, and a pair of low heels. I also had to endure having my makeup done in one of those shops I never went in before, then watched mom buy everything the lady used. I got my ears pierced, and lastly, on the way home, mom stopped at her salon.
"We've come this far honey, so you might as well let me get your hair cut and styled. I'll tell them to keep it simple, that way you can take care of it yourself."
It was as if my body went along with everything mom wanted, even though my mind kept telling me that I shouldn't be there, but by the time we got home, there wasn't one thing about me that had not changed! My name, my hair, my clothes, even my jewelry had changed! As we ate dinner, I asked mom if I had to paint my room pink or anything like that.
"Not if you don't want to, but it is due for painting anyway, so why don't you think about it. Myself, I was always partial to light blue with white trim. It's sort of neutral, but you think about it."
All the rest of the day I did my best to get used to wearing a skirt, but the bra, no matter how much I hated it, did make that sandpaper feeling go away, which I had to admit, was a big relief. The downside was that wearing a bra made my small breasts stand out more, and everyone could see them. I grabbed a soda and went out the back, just to sit on the porch, think about what was happening to me, and probably cry a little. That's where I was when I heard her.
"Hi there! I'm Beth! What's your name?"
Looking up I saw her, and with a little hesitation in my voice, "Lindsey" I said softly, afraid that my friend Beth would know who I was. I wanted her to go away, but…
"You're Nathan! Why are you dressed like a girl!?"
"Mom says that I'm a girl now."
"No way!" I shrugged my shoulders and nodded my head yes. "No kidding? Wait til mom hears this!"
Then she ran off before I could ask her not to tell, leaving me with that ugly feeling in the pit of my stomach, the one that makes you think you're going to throw up. I ran back in the house, spun around the corner, and ran right into mom, almost knocking her down. I sped past her, running to my room, slamming the door behind me. Panting hard, I looked up and saw myself in the mirror, and burst into tears again. I looked like a girl! Turning when I heard the door open…
"What's the matter honey?"
"Beth! She knows!"
"Knows what? Did she see you? She must have. So what if she sees that you're dressing as a girl now?"
"She ran home to tell her mother too!"
"So? You heard what the doctor said didn't you? That nothing can stop it? I'll call her mother and explain things to her, but you can't keep running in the house every time someone finds out, and crying simply won't help! Will it? How about this. Let me fix your hair a bit and we'll add some pale lipstick, then we can walk over to Beth's house together. I'll explain what happened, then maybe you and Beth can talk, or maybe do something together. Can we do that?"
"This isn't a bad dream is it mom?"
"No dear. You have started to develop just like Beth has. I know this is hard on you, but rather than cry all the time, why not do your best to be the girl that you are becoming? What I mean is, why not watch how Beth acts and talks, then try to do what she does?" Mom took my hand in hers, squeezed it, then…"Lindsey, by the time you go back to school all of the boys will have started to get taller, wider and bigger. Their voices will have started changing, and they will be a lot stronger than you or any of the other girls! There is no shame in being a girl, so you'll just have to accept things the way they are and do your best to fit in. Can you do that?"
"I hate it mom."
"I know, but I also know that you will grow up to be every bit the girl Beth is! Let me fix you up a little, then we'll walk over there."
Crushed, I let mom do her thing, then, scared out of my mind and with her insisting, she and I walked, not through the yards like I thought we would, but around the block! Some of my other friends saw us as we walked past them, but nobody said anything, shocked into silence I'm sure. Mom rang the bell, and I was soon confronted by Beth, with her mother standing there beside her. Her mom let us in, but when her mom started to ask what was going on, my mom suggested that Beth and I go outside. Beth grabbed my hand and dragged me outside, leaving our mom's to talk.
"Are those real? Your boobs I mean! They look real to me!"
"Yeah" I said in a nervous voice, "that's why mom says that I'm turning into a girl. She said that because I have boobs, I don't have a choice."
"That's why you're wearing a skirt, right?"
"She said that I might as well. She said I would look funny as a boy with boobs."
"Yeah! I'll bet!"
"Don't you feel funny having your legs bare all the time Beth? Doesn't it get cold?"
"I don't mind, and besides, almost all of the prettiest dresses are short now, but when it gets cold, I wear pants!"
"I guess, but…"
"You'll get used to it after a while, and besides, you're kind of cute! I'm sure my brother will think so too!"
Her brother! A weasel first class, and a bully to boot, he was a year older than Beth and I, and always picked on us. Once he even locked Beth in her room for the whole day!
"Girls! Come inside. I have some cookies you can have for a snack."
Beth and I went inside, then sat at the table with our mom's. Beth's mom seemed more…at ease I guess, because she was smiling. Then she told me that I was welcome at their house any time.
"Your mother has explained how this happened honey. It's not your fault, and I'm sure that you and Beth will have lot's of fun together."
"Does that mean that she's here to stay?" Beth sounded happy I guess.
"Yes dear, from now on, Lindsey is here to stay, and I hope that you'll help her if she needs it."
"Sure! Can we go to my room now?"
Our mother's nodded yes, and Beth grabbed my hand. We went to her room, which was the first time I had actually seen a girls room. Posters and dolls, a small vanity covered with makeup and old junk, and a few bits of clothing strewn about, which meant that other than the dolls and the vanity, it looked like my room! I think that Beth wasn't much different that I was, collecting things she treasured, but she was in transition from little girl to young woman. Unlike me, she was looking forward to it! That's why her room was a mix of both.
"Have you ever worn a dress?"
"Just a skirt, why?"
"We can play dress up if you want, it's fun, and besides, maybe you'll find something you like!"
I…I'm not sure I should…"
"Come on! I'll go first then!"
Just as Beth took out two dresses, my mom walked in, telling me that the doctor had paged her, and wanted to see me! Mom and I left, getting to the doctors about half an hour later. When I walked in with mom, we were met by the nurse who took us into a small room with a bed in it. The doctor came into the room a few moments later, another doctor with her! With a smile, she told us why she had paged mom.
"I was talking with my colleague, and mentioned Lindsey's dilemma, being half boy and half girl I mean. That's when he told me that he once had occasion to help a friend that wanted to look like a woman, and discovered a way to make it seem as if his patient actually was a woman. If we do this for Lindsey, it won't involve any surgery of course, she is way to young for that, but after looking at the pictures he supplied, I have asked him to come and talk with you. I was thinking that when Lindsey starts school, she will have a hard enough time coping with everything else, and this procedure will allow her to do just that, only easier, without anyone knowing, or suspecting, that she is anything but a girl! Here, let me show you the pictures." With that, she handed the packet to mom.
"Wow" mom said to the other doctor who had just walked into the room, "this looks…can you, did you do this? How long did it take?"
"It took me a while to figure it out, but yes, I did it, and as a matter of fact, the individual I did this for has decided to leave things the way they are. I did this two years ago, and so far there have been no complications at all. The only change I would make is a minor one, but I would recommend it, just for esthetics. I am prepared to do it right now if you like. It will take about three hours because I will have to make one very small incision to reroute the urinary tract, but in a week or so, I promise you that there will be no sign that anything was done."
Mom showed me the pictures, and while I knew that girls looked differently, I wasn't real sure how they used the bathroom, where it exited I mean, and I couldn't tell by the pictures. All I knew was that he was right. If I went to gym classes with the girls, and they saw that I wasn't a girl, I would be lucky not to be just killed! Looking at mom, I didn't say anything, but she knew that the doctor was right.
"Let me talk to Lindsey for a moment, will you? In private?"
"Of course. This is a big step. Take all the time you need."
Mom simply nodded her head yes. I wasn't eager to lose the only sign that I was a boy, I hated it in fact, but…
"Lindsey, do you know what this means?"
"I…I think so…"
"It means that if we let him do this, then you will look like all of the other little girls; you'll have to sit down to pee, but all girls do that."
"In those pictures…he said that was a guy? Like me? But where is his…"
"I'm not sure, but he did say it was minor surgery, so I'm sure that he found a way to hide it. But those pictures sure do make that person look like a girl, don't they?"
"If you say so, but…he won't cut it off will he? I mean, what if I quit growing like a girl?"
"No dear, he won't cut it off, I promise. This is a very big step Lindsey" mom said softly, "but it will protect you, since nobody will ever know that you're really a boy. You'll look just like a girl, all over. You'll be able to play with Beth without any worrying about her brother or anyone else for that matter! Can I tell him we'll do it? That you have agreed?"
"I have to, don't I mom?"
"It would be better for everyone honey."
"I'll…I'll…be a real girl?"
"As far as anyone else knows, yes."
"And you won't tell anyone?"
"No dear, I won't tell."
"I…I…if you say it's alright, then…I'll say okay, but…"
"It'll be fine honey. In a few days you'll get used to being a girl. Everything will be fine."
Mom called the doctors back in the room, nodded her head yes, and the other doctor said…
"If you'll undress for us Lindsey, we'll get started then."
Mom stayed until they gave me a shot, then I faded out. I can only describe what the results are since I did not see anything. When I woke up, there was a small bandage just above my new parts. Instead of a small protruding part, I had a smooth front, rounded on the edges, of what looked like girls parts. When I was fully awake, my own doctor sat me upright, made sure that I was awake, got mom in the room, then told us what they did, and how.
"Lindsey was, as you know, smaller than a normal boy would have been due to the hormones, so after we made the incision, we rerouted the piping so that it terminates under her new vagina. Then we pulled the penis into the body and used the skin to create the outer folds. Using collagen, we rounded them out to look more natural, then secured what was left of her testicles and the penis in place. She won't even know they are there, and according to Mike, she will never experience any pain from the relocation. From now on though, Lindsey will no longer be able to stand and relieve herself. She will be just like the rest of the girls in every respect. There is a smallish pocket that was created when we inverted things, and as she gets older we think it might get a bit deeper. Not enough for a male, but certainly enough to convince everyone. You may get dressed now Lindsey."
It felt really different, and my panties fit without a lump in the front, but I think it was the first time I had to use the bath when it hit me the hardest. I wasn't a boy any more! Mom had me stay around the house for almost the whole week while I waited to heal up, with only Beth coming over. I told her that I was a real girl, and that made her smile, but it wasn't until I was at her house that Saturday that she saw me naked. She wanted to play dress up, and I agreed, although I had no idea what she meant by it. I stripped down to my panties and bra, letting her slip a party dress over my head, then she wore a different dress. We played with her makeup, and to be honest, we both thought that we looked fantastic, but in retrospect, I know that we looked like two old drag queens. I was getting undressed when she said she wanted to take a swim, but of course, I had no suit. That's when she threw one of her old ones at me.
"You can wear this one!"
With that, Beth stripped down, and for the first time I saw what real girl looked like, which was exactly what I looked like! Without a word, I also stripped down, which is when Beth saw me naked. It was only a glance, but it confirmed that I was, without any doubt in her mind, a girl. Once we were in the suits, we ran through the house and out to the pool, jumping in together. Like Beth, I was squealing when we hit the cold water, but we got used to it, staying out there about an hour. Just as we went to go back in the house, her mom gave us towels.
Rather than change, I simply walked across the yards to my house and went inside. Changing into dry clothes, I noticed that my shorts were snug across the front, but didn't think about that since Beth's fit the same way. I walked outside just as Beth's brother came walking down the street with one of his friends.
"Hey! Where's that twerp Nathan?"
"Who are you?" I asked, since he didn't know who I was.
"I'm Bill, and this is Harold. Who are you?"
"You're that new girl that Beth is always talking about!" I nodded my head yes, hoping he would just go away.
"Tell Nathan that when I see him I'm going to whip his butt!"
"You can try" I said, but Nathan isn't here, and he isn't coming back!"
"He got sent to live with his Aunt. We traded places."
"Come on Bill" Harold said, "Leave her alone. Lets go see if Greg is home."
As they walked away I realized that my knees weren't shaking like the usually were when I was around Bill! He liked to pick on Beth, but he almost never picked any other girls; only smaller boys. As the summer days went on, Beth and I got close, sharing almost everything, and I found myself starting to enjoy some of the girl things she liked to do, like shopping, playing with her dolls, and dressing up. Using the bathroom like a girl got to feel like it was normal, and I quit thinking about that. By the time school was ready to start, both Beth and I grown to a full A cup, gotten a little taller, and filled out in all the places a girl would. I got new bras and panties, some new skirts and tops plus a few dresses, but when we bought the bras, I picked them out myself, and all of them were very sexy!
I don't know how mom did it, but on the day of enrollment, she handed some papers over, and I was enrolled without a word as a girl named Lindsey Rose. I was in Junior high! I quickly found myself drawn into the routine of school, no longer worried about being a girl, just about fitting in. Sadly, nobody asked about Nathan, the old me, which meant that I wasn't doing that well anyway. About halfway through the year I noticed that some of the guys were hanging around some of the girls, laughing, touching, walking together and so on, and I felt left out! Wasn't I pretty enough? Was it something I was doing wrong? What? And worse, why was I thinking like that!? Just before Christmas, Thomas a boy in my math class, asked me to be his date for the Christmas dance! I was instantly scared, but also relieved, and a bit eager! Finally! A boy had noticed me! I was really one of the girls! I told him I would ask, and that night, when mom got home, I could hardly hold it in. Of course, mom said yes!
When Thomas and his dad showed up at our house to pick me up, I was no longer a boy in a dress, but a girl about to go on her first date! My hair had been done at the salon, mom did my nails, and I wore a pretty dress and for the first time, heels. When he took my hand, all thoughts of being a boy evaporated. The dance was wonderful, but when he walked me to the door afterwards, he kissed me, right on the lips! I ran in the house, so excited that I almost couldn't stand it. That was the day that my conversion from boy to girl was complete. When Thomas kissed me. After that I simply didn't think about it, going on to join many clubs for girls, making friends that I still hold dear to this day. Eventually I developed into a woman, and with my 36B-24-37 figure, I had no trouble attracting guys, even Billy the bully. When I turned 18, I still had about half a year to go before graduation, but I was able to talk the doctor into the surgery to make me complete over the mid term break. I asked, and Beth was right there with me as they rolled me into surgery. As my best friend in the whole world, and one of a very few people that knew the truth, she was also eager to see me complete.
When I returned to class, a week late, I was still sore, but able to continue as a girl, and my boyfriend, who at that time was Harold, was the first one I let touch me there. Nothing more, but I had to do it, for myself. It wasn't until I was in college that Thomas and I got together again. He had turned into a very handsome man. We went out a few times, then it happened; As he lay there next to me I realized that I was just as much a woman as any other, and by the look on his face, he thought I was better.
So. Those bad pills I took? If I were thrown back in time, I now know that I would take them again, because being a woman is simply the best thing that every happened to me…
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