A Lonely Christmas

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A Lonely Christmas

by Wren Phoenix

 
 
[Admin Note]: In light of Wren's passing away just after Christmas, it is only fitting I give her Christmas entry A Lonely Christmas one last light at the top of our front page for all to see. The 2012 One Winter's Eve Contest is Dedicated to Wren Erindae Phoenix. May she find the peace and happiness in her next life that she struggled so hard to obtain here. I wish for God to grant that to her.

Originally posted on 2012-11-11 15:54:53 -0700, I am reposting this in Memoriam for her. ~Sephrena

 


 
The falling snow was beautiful in the light of the streetlights. Downtown had a charming holiday feel that just made you want to break into a rendition of “White Christmas” or “Silver Bells”. Shoppers stopped to look into the decorated windows, or exchange greetings with friends. It was a pleasant Christmas Eve in Finson.

Up above the Hardware store in an upstairs apartment, Jenny sat and listened to Christmas carols. She loved this apartment, even as old and beat up as the house was. The front room was her favorite, as stark as it was. Three of the walls were a bright shade of white, and the fourth wall was paneled in old grey barn wood. Along with the brown carpeting, the room had a relaxing feel for Jenny.

The only furniture she had was a green bean bag chair, her small television/radio and an end table with a small lamp. She watched from the large window sill as people and cars made their way through the falling snow which was just beginning to accumulate.

I miss them, she thought as she pulled her pale pink robe tighter around her. It was hard being 19 and on your own. She had a job at the Hardware store, assembling snow-blowers, stocking the floor, etcetera. It wasn’t much, but she had a warm place to stay and food to eat. It wasn’t enough, of course. She needed the contact with others, but once she came out, almost everyone but her boss had decided to keep their distance.

Jerry had never been a popular person, but this...this was hard. She had to save every spare penny she could, in order to move out to California, where she had heard it was a lot easier to be trans.

She had been surprised at the way everyone had changed. Jerry had listened carefully to everyone talk about how tolerant they were, and how they could accept “differences” in their friends and co-workers. It was shocking how fast all of that talk had proved to be nothing more than that, just talk.

Mom had gone completely nuclear. She couldn’t get Jerry out of the house fast enough. He had grabbed a few things, including his mattress, but had left some things behind, like his books and bookshelves.

His father had always taught Jerry that tolerance was a virtue, but when it came to actual tolerance, there was none. The double betrayal from his parents hurt terribly. Dad had dropped him off in front of the homeless shelter, without saying a word.

Jerry’s boss had been the only one to accept her change, and the only one to keep her from hitting bottom. He had the old apartment upstairs, and even though a ball rolled through the apartment could never roll straight, Jenny had accepted it immediately.

That was two months ago, and she’d heard nothing from them. She had no idea if they were even alive. She had hoped that time would change things, but apparently not.

The DJ happily announced that it was midnight, so he wished everyone a Merry Christmas, and followed that with Nat King Cole and “The Christmas Song”. Jenny shed a few tears and turned off the radio.

“Merry Christmas, Mom and Dad.” She said quietly, and went to bed.

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Comments

Just a quick break

I happened to think of this and had to write it down quick. Hope y'all like it.

Wren

No comment,

Just a tear or two for all the Jennys out there, wherever they may be.

Catherine Linda Michel

As a T-woman, I do have a Y chromosome... it's just in cursive, pink script. Y_0.jpg

Short but darned good:)

And no shortage in the TG community of stories like this.
*Great Big Hugz*
Bailey.

Bailey Summers

Sigh

I know how Jenny Feels.It hurts the MOST on the Haliday's.I miss my Family & wish they could be more Tolerable.Sigh

Signed Sweet-Girl87

OOPS

clicked on your reply 'cause I thought the title was addressing me (tee-hee) -**Sigh**

Words may be false and full of art;
Sighs are the natural language of the heart.
-Thomas Shadwell

LOL

It's OK>I just know what Jenny was going through.The title was just me be sad as another Haliday is coming up & I was just think about it when I seen this story.

Signed Sweet-Girl87

truly sad

all too common, sadly.

Nicely written, maybe a sequel where she finds some real acceptance?

DogSig.png

Maybe, but probably not

I wanted this to feel like real life, to show what so many feel at this time of year. I used to live in that apartment, and if my Mom knew how I am, she WOULD go nuclear. Sigh.

Wren

I think I shed as many tears as Jenny

It's sad to know that there are so many people who would shut us out because we're different. I'm scared to find out what my own family would do if I came out to them.

Refreshing

to see a story where it's the mom who has the biggest problem with the child. Stereotypically, it's the dad who does in most of these stories (including mine). Well done! **Sigh**

Words may be false and full of art;
Sighs are the natural language of the heart.
-Thomas Shadwell

I kind of hope

I kind of hope that this girl receives the Christmas gift many of us so desperately want in one of two forms. One is that her family of hypocrites ( that is EXACTLY what they are) comes around asking for forgiveness in the future. The other is that somehow she gets her wish granted. I do not know what I would do without my family or faith

Sigh

I've had that wish since I was kick out on my butt Wizisi2k & haven't got it yet.It hurt so much,even more since My Familiar,Shadowfax,Died.Since she was the last thing that I had as family in my young Life

The Story

Kind of increases my resentment toward hypocrites, especially the ones who are hypocritical about tolerance. That and "so called Christians" who just can't do anything the way Jesus said we should, but are all high and mighty (an anti-Christian behavior) about what great Christians they are.

Are these people all really stupid? They can't understand the meanings of the words they say? -Or- Is this some sort of very difficult to up-root, basic Humyn behavior/humyn nature? Like even me! I don't want to be like the above hyper-hypocrites, but maybe i am and i can't tell.

Geeze. What a question!

Thanks for the story, Wren.

Hugs and Bright Blessings,
Renee

I fear its basic human

I fear its basic human behavior. Preaching tolerance is something people do because its mainstream right now. Like following Hitler was 80 years ago. Essentially humans are petty animals that destroy everything they don't understand and if they can't destroy "it" they try to get rid of "it".

Wren really told a great but sad story about the human condition. Maybe god can tell her what it smoked when it created humanity ;)

Gwen, thank you for writing this great story, I hope you're in a better place,
Beyogi

She's seen the writing on the wall.

There's no doubt about it, Jenny's seen the writing on the wall. She'll probably have to move if she's living in 'Small-town, USA,' furthermore she's going to have to be egrarious in searching for friendship and she's going to have to make the first moves. Eventually, she'll find a kindred soul but she's going to have to work at it.

Good luck kid.

Beverly.

XX

bev_1.jpg

This might need a sequel

I hadn't planned on it, but maybe. There are some good issues that could be worked through yet, and a few more tears I can collect. Mwahh hah hah...

Wren

PS-That picture says you must've had some wild parties lately!

Touching

it hit a few sore spot in my heart. I never came out but I did not get much love from my parents VERY GOOD -- Hugs Richie2

Very good Wren.

Very good Wren. I am shedding more than a few tears. The one present I've ever wanted would be acceptance and I don't think it'll ever happen. So I will stay in hiding for one more year, and hope and pray that all you brothers and sisters find the love and acceptance that you need.


I wear this crown of thorns
Upon my liar's chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair

Though my circumstances aren't as dire...

Ragtime Rachel's picture

...as poor Jenny's, I can't help the feeling that this isn't too far removed from my own life these past twelve years. I too felt compelled to move away because that was the only way for me to be me. At least Jenny is young and there's still hope for a reconciliation.

I wish I had seen this earlier so I could have told you how much I liked it, Wren. Rest in peace.

Livin' A Ragtime Life,
aufder.jpg

Rachel

Wren Said She Might Do A Sequel

joannebarbarella's picture

Unfortunately somebody else will have to write it, but thankyou Wren,

Joanne

May All Of The Jennys

n the world find a family for Christmas.

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine

Good and sad.

The good thing about this story is the authors ability to draw us in. It's a sad story that pulls at the heart-strings. This is the antithesis of my perfect Christmas (happy gathering of family and friends to celebrate the occasion). Sometimes we need tales like this to remind us not to take what we have for granted.

A well crafted story, thanks for sharing it. Merry Christmas.