Synopsis:
Jamie talks to Julie and Samantha about his trip to the salon, goes shopping with his grandmother, and meets a new friend.

Chapter 5

"Jamie, I think you hurt your grandmother's feelings."

My mother and I were sitting in the car outside our house. I didn't talk to my grandmother much after we got home from the salon. I told her I hated getting a manicure and pedicure and that I never wanted to go to the salon again. I must have sounded like a little boy having a fit.

"I'm sorry. But it wasn't fair to take me there and not tell me what they were going to do to me."

"She wanted to surprise you."

"She certainly did."

"She thought you would like it. Why didn't you just say 'no'."

"I don't know."

"I want you to tell her you're sorry tomorrow."

"Okay. Did you think I would like it?"

"I thought you might but I guess you didn't. You were nice to the stylist weren't you?"

"Yes. She was cool about the whole thing."

"Your nails do look nice now, very clean and neat."

I had to agree. "I think maybe the pedicure was too much and Nikki showed up and sat by me. She knows I'm wearing hose now Mom!"

"Oh, now I see. There's not much you can do about what Nikki knows but that's no reason to be mean to me or your grandmother. I'll talk to her."

"Nikki?"

"No, your grandmother. Don't worry about Nikki. She'll soon find something else to talk about."

I moped through dinner and avoided everything except minimal conversation. I kept trying to figure out who Nikki knew and who she would tell. Maybe people would forget by the end of summer. But did I really want to quit wearing at the end of the summer? Even after a few days it was hard to imagine not wearing hose. They were a part of me now, a part of my everyday routine.

I was sitting on the couch in the living room feeling sorry for myself when the doorbell rang. I heard my sister call that it was for her. I thought about running up to my room but I was too bummed to care. After a few moments Julie and her friend Samantha strode into the living room.

"Hiya Jamie," said Samantha. She was being a lot more friendly than she used to be. She was wearing a short skirt with some open-toed flats and beige pantyhose. She flopped down on the other end of the couch. "Got your hose on? I decided to wear some tonight in your honor." She slipped off one of her shoes and stretched out her leg, pointing her toe for me to see.

"Yeah, I'm wearing my hose."

"Hey Julie, why aren't you wearing hose?"

"I don't have to? Why should I?"

"Well put some on. You don't want to be the odd one out do you?"

Julie left for her room.

"What's the matter Jamie? You look unhappy."

I related the disaster at the salon. Samantha seemed to find it amusing.

"Let me see your nails. Oh very nice. And your toes." Samantha giggled. "Now don't you wish you had some color on your toe nails? Red would make such a nice accent for your nylons."

"No, and I don't want any color on my fingers either. That Nikki is going to tell everyone."

"So what?"

Julie entered the room wearing suntan hose under her jean shorts. She leaned back in an easy chair across from the couch.

"Nice legs Julie," remarked Samantha.

"What do you mean 'so what'? My reputation is going to be ruined."

"No one's going to care. Well, a few people might but they'll get tired of teasing you after a while. You know Jamie you need to look at the positive side. This gives your personality a boost. I mean here's something distinctive and interesting about you now. It makes you unique. What do you think Julie?"

"Seems the same as always to me."

"Julie's probably not a very good judge. But trust me, you are definitely more interesting."

Julie and Samantha talked about their friends and boys so I headed for the computer and another session of role-playing. It wasn't until later that evening when I was in bed that I realized they didn't shoo me away when they started talking. They used to hint or tell me to leave. And Samantha had never talked to me this much before.

The next morning, my mother reminded me to apologize to my grandmother when she dropped me off. I tried to explain to my grandmother why I was upset yesterday. She was very cool about it and said she understood. She also remarked how clean and neat my fingernails looked. I spent the morning reading a fantasy novel. I was going to have to buy some more books or spend more time at the library.

After lunch I was heading back to the couch when I heard my grandmother say "You've got a run Jeremy."

"What?"

"You've got a run in your hose. Look at the back of your leg?"

Sure enough, there was a long run stretching from my heel up to my knee.

"Do you have a spare pair? That run will just get worse."

"No, I didn't think about bringing an extra pair."

"You should always carry a spare," cautioned my grandmother. "Well, I guess we'll have to make a quick run to the store then."

We were soon in the parking lot of the local Target waiting for some cars to pass so we could cross to the store's entrance. I had pulled my white tube socks all the way up hoping to hide the run in the back of my nylons. I know it looked geeky but what could I do but pray that no one would notice. Suddenly my grandmother grabbed me by the wrist and pulled me across the lane to the store. I couldn't remember the last time someone held my hand to cross the street.

"What'd you do that for?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, Jamie. We just needed to hurry and you didn't seem to be paying attention."

I followed my grandmother to the hosiery section. She asked me which style and size I was wearing and picked out three pair. Fortunately there was no one else in the section.

"One to change into and two to keep at my house as spares," she said as she handed the packages of pantyhose to me.

"Thanks."

I assumed we were leaving but my grandmother headed for the shoes section. Great, I thought. Now I have to stand around in this stupid store carrying my new pantyhose while she tries on shoes. But instead of heading to the womens shoe section, we stopped at the slippers.

"Sit down and take one of your shoes off."

"Why? I don't want any slippers."

"You may not want them but I think you need some. If you don't you'll just keep getting runs in your nylons."

I hadn't seen them when we arrived but there were two teenage girls three aisles away looking at a display of sandals on an endcap. They were now openly staring at us.

My grandmother turned to me with a pair of fuzzy, dark-pink slippers. She noticed the girls and smiled at them. "Let's try these. I think they might be about your size. Come on Jamie, get your shoe off."

I slowly undid my shoe laces and slipped off my sneaker. The girls acted like they were looking at the sandals but kept glancing in my direction.

"You can take your sock off too. It's okay to try on shoes in just your nylons."

Both of the girls put their hands over their mouths to stiffle a laugh. I removed my sock and slid my nylon clad foot into the slipper.

"It's a bit short," I said.

My grandmother retrieved another pair in the same style. These fit.

"Stand up and take a few steps."

I walked a short way down the aisle and back, keeping my eyes to the ground. When I sat down I noticed the girls looked like they were ready to burst.

"We'll get two pair," my grandmother said. "One for my house and one for home. I'm sure your mother will think it's a good idea."

I replaced my shoes and socks in a hurry and followed my grandmother who was carrying the slippers.

"Hey." My grandmother and I both turned toward the young female voice. "Are these your pantyhose?" It was one of the teenagers that had been watching us. She held the three packages of Leggs Sheer Energy out to me. "Those slippers will look realy cute with your nylons."

The other girl finally lost it and ducked down one of the aisles laughing.

"Thank you," my grandmother said. "You really need to keep better track of things Jamie."

I could barely look the girl in the eye. She was wearing a t-shirt with tight jean shorts and long tanned legs that ended in strappy, flat sandals. This was the kind of girl I should have been trying to impress, instead I was trying on girly slippers and taking my pantyhose from her. As I took the hose she smiled broadly and winked at me.

"Thanks," I mumbled.

"My name's Elizabeth. What's yours?"

"Jamie."

"482-6319. Call me sometime. Okay? Bye." She waved and took off after her friend. Another round of giggles followed.

Stunned, I followed my grandmother on autopilot. Did that girl really ask me to call her? I kept repeating the number and name in my head. Elizabeth. 482-6319. Elizabeth. 482-6319.

"Well she was certainly a nice young lady," my grandmother said as we waited in line at the checkout. "Are you going to call her?"

"Do you have some paper and a pen?"

She handed me a small notebook about the size of a credit card and a pen. It's amazing what women can fit in their purses. I wrote down Elizabeth's name and number then tore out the page and put it in my pocket.

Synopsis:
Jamie, Julie, and his mother go on a shopping trip to the mall.

Chapter 6

"Jamie," said my mother as I was approaching the kitchen table for dinner, "you really should be wearing your slippers. You're going to get more runs and pantyhose don't grow on trees."

Julie smiled, trying to hold back a giggle.

"Maybe you should wear slippers as well Julie," my mother remarked.

"But I'm not wearing hose."

"Maybe you should be. I noticed you didn't wear any to work today. From now on I want you wearing hose when you're at work. You need to learn to look professional."

"Mom!"

"I'm serious Julie."

It was now my turn to smile. When my mother says "you really should" do something, it's not a suggestion but a command. I returned a few minutes later wearing my pink fuzzy slippers. I was still on cloud nine thinking about the girl I had met at Target. Should I call her today or wait until tomorrow. My mother and sister chatted through dinner but I didn't hear a thing they said. I was too busy day dreaming about Elizabeth. This had never happened to me before. A girl had actually shown an interest in me and she didn't want help with her homework.

After dinner I stretched out on the couch to think about my options with Elizabeth. As I considered actually doing something, the euphoria started to wear off and fear and doubt set in. What would I say if I called her? What if this was all a joke? What if she gave me a fake number? Julie flopped down in a chair opposite me with one of those teen girl fashion mags.

"Julie," I began, "can I ask your advice on something?"

She wrinkled her nose as she looked at me over the top of her magazine. "This doesn't have anything to do with pantyhose does it?"

"No," I said. "This is serious." I then related my meeting with Elizabeth.

Julie stared at me in open-mouthed amazement. "A girl gave you her phone number? Wow. Are you going to call her?"

"I guess so."

"You guess so? Jamie, this is the best thing that has ever happened to you. How can you not call her?"

"I don't know what to say."

"Ask her out you dope."

"Who are you asking out?" asked me mother who had entered the living room while Julie and I were talking.

I related my story about Elizabeth and my mother was equally enthralled as Julie but much less amazed. I guess Julie can't imagine me as anything other than a geeky dweeb.

"I don't think you should start going on dates yet Jamie. Why don't you try to get to know her a bit better first."

"Can I use the phone?"

"Use the one in the kitchen."

I was somewhat relieved that I couldn't date yet. If the topic came up I could honestly say my mother wouldn't let me instead of admitting I was too scared. I punched in the numbers with shaking fingers. I had to put the paper with the number on the table because my hand was shaking so much. I couldn't read it otherwise. I waited for several rings, prepared to just hang up if voice mail took the call.

"Hello," asked an older woman.

"Hi, um, is Elizabeth there?"

"Who's calling?"

"Uh, Jamie. I just met her today."

"Just a minute."

A young girl answered a moment later. "Hello?"

"Hi Elizabeth. It's Jamie."

"Jamie?"

"The guy you met at the store today."

"Oh, yeah. The guy wearing pantyhose. Did your slippers fit?"

"Yeah, they did." My ego was in free fall. She had already forgotten my name. There was an exceedingly long, awkward moment of silence. I couldn't think of any thing to say. I kind of thought I knew how the conversation would go but none of this was according to plan. I wanted to hang up.

"So what did you call about?" she finally asked.

"Well, uh, you gave me your number. Uh, what's your IM name?" Finally I managed something intelligent.

We exchanged IM names. "I'm usually online in the morning or later in the evening," she said.

"I'm on in the evening mostly."

"Do you live with your grandmother?"

"No, I just stay with her during the day while my mom and sister are at work." That sounded lame.

"What a bummer. My mom let's us stay home alone. How old are you?"

"I'll be a freshman next year."

"Cool. Me too. Which school?"

I told her the name of the high school I would be attending.

"Wow! Me too."

I heard some talking in the background.

"I have to go now. My sister needs to use the phone. I'll IM you sometime. Bye."

"Bye."

I returned to the living room determined to never think about Elizabeth again. My mother and sister stared at me expectantly. I told them how the call went. They were sympathetic. I trudged up to my room to read a book.

Friday passed quietly at my grandmother's house. I lounged on the couch reading most of the day and I wore my slippers. I couldn't quit thinking about Elizabeth though. You would think I had been dumped by a long-time girlfriend. Fortunately my grandmother didn't ask me about it. When my mother and I picked up Julie at the mall after work she was wearing a skirt and hose, just as my mother had told her she would. At least life isn't completely unfair.

Saturday morning my mother surprised me when out of the blue she announced that we were going to the mall. My sister and I both protested. I guess she was sick of being there after a week of work and I always hated the place. Like most teenage boys I found shopping a torture and the kids who tended to hang out at the mall were not my friends.

"Mom, can't I stay home? I've been there all week?" cried Julie.

"I'll buy you some new shoes."

"Okay. Let me fix my hair."

I would not be so easily bought off. "Why do I need to go? School won't start for months."

"I think you need some new clothes."

This didn't sound good. "What's wrong with the clothes I have?"

"Mainly you need some different shoes. Now go get ready and step on it."

"Can I wear jeans?"

"I think it's too hot for jeans."

We were soon all in the car heading for the mall. Julie was in the front seat excitedly talking about some sandals she wanted to buy. I was in the back dressed in a t-shirt, shorts, hose, and tennis shoes with socks. I kept trying to figure out what my mother had in mind. My shoes fit fine and I had plenty of them. And who would I see at the mall. No one that I was really friends with but still, those kids were mean.

The mall wasn't too crowded. It was a beautiful Saturday morning and most people probably had something better to do. I certainly had better things to do. I followed close behind my mother and sister, watching for anyone I knew. I realized very few people would notice my hose but I was still paranoid.

We proceeded immediately to the shoe store that Julie had been raving about. It catered mostly to young women so I stood around, bored to death, while Julie picked out her sandals. There were a couple other teenage girls browsing the shoes but they weren't paying any attention to us. The sales woman helping Julie and my mother didn't seem to notice me either other than an initial smile. I guess she smelled an easy commission. She certainly was pretty and well dressed in her skirt, black hose, and flats.

Once Julie had settled on a pair of shoes, my mother turned to me. "Okay Jamie, lets get a couple pairs for you."

I felt all the blood drain out of my face. This store sold girls shoes. "I haven't seen any tennis shoes that I like here."

"I'll find some shoes for you. Now sit down so she can get your size."

Julie was about to explode into laughter. The sales women was smiling at me.

I sat down next to Julie. I knew better than to make a scene.

"Go ahead and take your shoes and socks off honey," my mother directed. "Both of them."

I unlaced my shoes and removed my socks while the sales woman returned with one of those devices used to determine your shoe size. She pulled up a stool across from me while my mother stood behind me. Julie had strapped on her new sandals.

The sales woman put the device on the floor and directed me to place my foot in it. "You certainly don't need any socks with your nylons," she commented to me smiling. "Do we want men's or women's sizing," she asked my mother.

"Women's."

The sales woman calculated my size then asked my mother what she had in mind. The pair headed off to make some selections. Julie was still smiling at me.

"Did you know anything about this?" I asked.

"No. Absolutely nothing. I swear."

I noticed the two teenage girls glancing my way.

The sales woman and my mother returned with several boxes.

"Let's try the penny-loafers first," said my mother.

The sales woman guided my foot into a dark brown shoe. "How does it feel?" she asked while checking for the end of my toe.

"Fine."

"Those look really nice Jamie," commented Julie.

"Don't they," answered the sales woman. "Let's put the other one on. Now stand up and take a few steps."

I took a couple steps then sat back down. I kept my eyes on my feet but I did notice those two girls watching from a distance.

"I think these will be great for dress and casual," the sales woman said to my mother.

"Just what I was thinking," my mother replied.

"Does he wear pants?" the sales woman ventured.

Julie stifled a giggle.

"Pants and shorts, though it's hard to get him out of shorts sometimes."

"I wouldn't want to wear pants either with such nice legs," remarked the sales woman.

The process was repeated until I had tried on all the shoes in the boxes. Fortunately the girls left and it was just the four of us in the store. I was thankful my mother brought me early in the morning. My mother decided to buy four pairs for me: the penny-loafers I tried on first; some black mary-janes, a pair of open-backed clogs, and a pair of birkenstock sandals. Except for the mary-janes, the shoes could all pass as men's shoes if you didn't look too closely.

I was going to put my sneakers back on but my mother stopped me. "Why don't you wear your new sandals."

The sales woman smiled as she handed the sandals to me then put my tennis shoes and socks in the sandals box.

My sister and I waited outside the store while my mother finished paying for the shoes. I didn't understand why she was making such an investment.

"Your feet sure look nice in your new sandals," kidded Julie.

"Shut up."

Julie laughed. "Do you wear pants or SKIRTS?"

"SHUT UP."

"Hey you two, cut it out."

"She started it," I blurted out.

"I don't care. Let's take all these boxes out to the car."

"Are we going home now?" I asked.

"Not quite."

"Mom, why did you buy me all these shoes?"

"I thought some women's shoes might be easier on your hose. The insides of the shoes are softer and smoother than men's shoes."

"They also look better," remarked Julie. "You were starting to look like a geek with your other shoes."

"Be nice Julie."

After we deposited the bags from the shoe store in the trunk we headed back into the mall and stopped in a Guess store. Julie drifted off to look at some shirts while my mother was looking at the boys shorts. I figured I was going to get some new jean shorts.

A pretty, young girl approached my mother and asked if she needed any help.

"Do you have any shorts that are shorter?" All the shorts were of the long and baggy style.

"Not in those I'm afraid. Are these for him?" she asked, glancing in my direction.

"Yes, they are," answered my mother.

"This is all we have in boys shorts. The style is quite popular now."

"What about in womens?"

"Oh, well, yes. They're right over here." We followed her across the store to several racks of shorts that were decidedly shorter. She explained something about the sizing then gave me an awkward smile as she left to help my sister.

"Mom, I can't wear these."

"Don't worry. They'll look good on you."

I watched with trepidation as my mother looked through the shorts, taking them out for a closer look, putting them back, and occasionally handing a pair to me. When she was done I was holding six pair.

"Okay," she said. "Let's try these on." My mother waved to the sales girl who counted the number of shorts I held then unlocked one of the changing rooms for us.

I kicked off my sandals and removed my shorts then slid on the first pair. "They're too tight," I told my mother who was waiting outside the door.

"Keep trying."

"Are you having trouble with sizing?" asked the sales girl.

"I've never bought womens shorts for him before. I'm not quite sure what size he is."

"I see."

"I can't stand those baggy shorts boys wear these days. They look so sloppy."

"I totally agree."

I came out in my stockinged feet wearing a pair that fit comfortably. The shorts stopped just above mid-thigh. I was showing a lot more leg and hose than my old shorts did.

"Those look wonderful," said my mother. "Turn around."

"Great fit," remarked the sales girl. I noticed her staring at my feet. She then looked up at me and smiled.

"Try the other ones on in that size too Jamie. And put your shoes back on when you come out. You'll snag your hose on this rough carpet."

"I thought he was wearing pantyhose," remarked the sales girl. "They look really good on him."

"I know. He wants to wear them," answered my mother.

"Hey Mom, can I try these on?" asked Julie.

"Sure, go ahead."

I heard my sister enter the changing booth next to me. I tried on the other shorts that fit and showed them to my mother. The sales girl had wandered off. My mother took the shorts from me but told me to wait in the changing booth. She came back a minute later with a pair of the new shorts with the tags and security device removed. "You can wear these home."

I put on my new shorts then found that my wallet didn't fit into the back pocket. I also noticed the back pockets had yellow flowers embroidered on them. My heart sank. There was no way people would mistake these for men's shorts. I put my wallet in a front pocket and, carrying my old shorts, joined my sister outside the store. Julie was getting a new shirt while I was getting three new pairs of shorts.

"Nice shorts Jamie. You look really hip now."

"Look at the back pockets," I whined.

"Oh those are cute."

"I'm not going for cute."

Julie snickered. "Looks like Mom is though."

Synopsis:
Jamie talks to his dream girl and gets a surprise IM request.

Chapter 7

"Where are we going now?" I asked when my mother exited the Guess store.

"Let's get some cinnamon rolls," she answered.

"Awesome," cried my sister.

I was relieved that at least we seemed to be done with the clothes shopping for awhile but I would have rather gone home. My sister and I followed my mother towards the food court. I was now extremely self-conscious wearing girls shorts, suntan hose, and open-toed birkenstock sandals. I pulled my shirt down as far as possible, hoping it would cover up the flowers on my back pockets but it wasn't long enough. I kept glancing over my shoulder but no one seemed to be paying any attention to us so I figured no one had noticed.

My sister and I sat at a table with our purchases from the Guess store while my mother bought our cinnamon rolls. The chairs were open at the back except for a cushion at the top. Anyone walking past would be able to see the flowers on my back pockets.

"Why is mom doing this to me?" I asked Julie.

"Buying you clothes? I wish she would buy all that stuff for me."

"You know what I mean."

"They'll look better with your new style. She bought you some really nice stuff."

"But it's girls stuff. I don't want to look like a girl."

"Jamie, you don't look like a girl. Don't flatter yourself."

"Then what do I look like?"

"I don't know. Samantha says you look ... cute. You're the one that was wearing mom's pantyhose so don't blame us."

My mother arrived with our cinnamon rolls--hot, sweet, smelling of cinnamon, and dripping with frosting. Julie dug into hers. I took my time. I had a lot to think about. Where was all this going?

"What's wrong Jamie?" asked my mother.

"Nothing."

"Not hungry?"

"I don't understand why you bought all this stuff for me?"

"I thought they would go better what you're wearing these days. You don't like them?"

I detected a hint of hurt in my mother's eyes. "I don't know. Maybe they're a little too girly."

"Oh Jamie," my mother retorted. "You don't know what girly is."

"I guess not."

"Why don't you try them for a week or so. Then we'll talk."

We finished our rolls and much to Julie's disappointment left the mall. I think she was expecting mom to buy her some more stuff.

When we got home I put my new clothes away, put on my slippers, and messed around on the computer. It was a low-key day after the morning mall incident. My sister went to a movie with some friends and my mother busied herself planting some flowers. I had a lot of time to think but I didn't want to think. Why didn't I tell my mom I hated the clothes? Maybe I didn't hate them. I really wished I had someone to talk to but who? I couldn't talk to Mike or Todd, even if they were here. And what was I going to do when they did get back from vacation. I figured only a girl would understand.

As I was getting ready for bed that evening, my mother reminded me that I needed to shave my legs again which I dutifully did.

Sunday morning found us heading to church. Just like last week we were all wearing pantyhose. My mother and sister were wearing with skirts and heels while I was wearing black sheers (my mother's idea) with pants and my new penny loafers. My mother and sister were off chatting to friends while I was sitting in a pew by myself waiting for service to begin when a girl spoke to me.

"Hi Jamie."

I looked up into Megan's beautiful brown eyes. She was smiling down at me. Her auburn hair, with corkscrew curls at the ends, rested on her shoulders. To me, she was the epitome of feminine beauty. How many times had I watched her at dances, too cowardly to ask her.

"Hi," I managed. I prayed she didn't notice my quivering lip.

She moved to sit next to me and I scooted down the pew to make room.

"How have you been?" she asked.

"Okay. Kinda boring not having to go to school." That sounded lame.

"Yeah, it takes some time to get a rhythm for your days." Megan crossed her thighs, causing the hem of her skirt to rise, exposing her knee. She was wearing beige hose and I could hear the sound of her hose rubbing together when she crossed her legs. I couldn't help but look and I'm certain she noticed.

"I talked to Nikki this week." Megan paused and I stared at the floor. "She said she saw you at the salon getting a manicure and a pedicure."

"It was my grandmother's idea." I knew I should look at her but I couldn't bring myself to.

"I love to have my nails done. See?" She held out her hand. Her nails were a dark red and looked professionally done. "And my toes." She removed her sandal and wiggled her toes. The same dark red was visible through her sheer hose. "It's expensive though," she said as she replaced her shoe. "I can't afford to go that often. I wish my grandmother would take me."

I looked at her and smiled.

"Let me see your hands." She took one of my hands in her fingers and examined my nails. This was something I had never dreamed possible. Megan was touching me. "Very nice," she remarked letting go of my hand. "They did a great job. How about your toes?"

"You won't be able to see them very well." She knew.

"Nikki said you were wearing pantyhose when she saw you. Are you wearing hose today?"

There was no point in denying it. "Yeah," I answered, staring at the floor again.

"Let me see."

I slipped off my penny loafer so she could see my hose-clad foot.

Megan smiled at me. "Are those new shoes?"

"My mom bought them at the mall for me yesterday."

"Cool. Maybe I should hang around you more. I might get some new shoes and a pedicure too."

"You might. My sister got some new stuff yesterday."

My mother and sister arrived at that point. They greeted Megan and she stood up to go sit with her parents. Megan smiled at me and fluttered her fingers, the very fingers that only moments before had been touching my hand. "See ya Jaime."

"Bye."

"What was THAT about?" asked my sister.

"She was just talking to me."

My mother raised her eyebrows. "I didn't know I needed to chaperon you at all times."

After service, everyone was milling around at the front of the church. I was trailing my mother and Julie when I caught a glimpse of Megan. She was talking to Rachel and Stacy, a couple girls that attended a different school so I didn't know them very well. Megan smiled warmly and waved as we made eye contact through a gap in the throng of people. A new sense of elation flooded over me and clouded my senses. I ran into the back of an older man, apologized and caught up with my mother and sister. Megan, the girl of my dreams, was paying attention to me. A new sense of confidence infused my step. I stood up taller. Maybe Megan even liked me? But why now?

"Earth to Jamie." Samantha was talking to me as she walked with with Julie toward our car in the parking lot.

"Hi."

Julie laughed. "Jamie's in love. Megan was talking to him before service."

"Ouuu. Jamie. Moving up in the world. Probably all the new clothes I hear you got yesterday."

Julie and Samantha shared a laugh. I got in the back seat and waited for the two girls to finish gabbing. My mother was waiting impatiently behind the steering wheel. "Where was grandma this morning?" I asked.

"I called her before service. She said she wasn't feeling well. She's not getting any younger you know."

I didn't like the tone of concern in my mother's voice.

My mother finally told Julie to get in and we left for home. I changed to some suntan hose and a pair of my new shorts that had plain pockets before we ate lunch. My mother called my grandmother again and found that she was feeling better. I tried to read a book that afternoon but I couldn't stop thinking about Megan. I probably wouldn't see her again until next Sunday. Then I started to worry that she might go on vacation and I wouldn't see her for weeks. I could call her but what if she didn't really want to talk to me. I had no idea what her email address might be.

We picked up some KFC and ate dinner at my grandmothers. I thought she seemed kind of tired and she didn't eat much. She complimented my new shorts and shoes, the sandals, and reminded me to put on my slippers. Julie snickered but dropped it after a stern look from my mother. We left soon after dinner and my grandmother told me she would see me tomorrow.

I logged onto the computer after we got home. I had discovered a new dungeon in one of the RPGs that I play and I was looking forward to some exploration and profitable fighting. As soon as the messenger program started, a dialog popped up inviting me to become a friend. I recognized the IM handle as Elizabeth.

Synopsis:
Jamie has a serious talk with his mother and finds out what Elizabeth really thinks about him.

Chapter 8

Monday morning found me at the computer, dressed in a t-shirt, my new jean shorts, suntan pantyhose, and slippers. My mother and sister were still getting ready for work. I scanned my inbox hoping to find something from Elizabeth but no luck. After accepting her as an IM friend, I had sent her an email asking when she would be around for chat. I read a message about a new version of an RPG I had downloaded. I wondered how I could get Megan's IM or email. I could just call her. Her number would be in the church directory. I was feeling uncharacteristically confident.

"You ready to go," asked my mother.

"Sure mom." I logged off and swapped my slippers for my new sandals.

My mother was waiting for me by the back door to the garage. "That outfit looks much better Jamie, although you might want to tuck in the t-shirt."

I worked the shirt inside my shorts. "Better?"

"Much better," she said.

I looked down my front. I saw a trim torso, girls short jean shorts, and two tan silky legs that ended in open-toed sandals with nylon clad toes peeking out. Except for the lack of breasts, I could be looking at the body of a young girl. I didn't recall seeing many girls who didn't tuck in their t-shirts if they were long enough to tuck in.

"What's the matter honey," asked my mother. We had been traveling in silence and I was staring blankly out the passenger window.

"Why do you want me to look like a girl?"

My mother pulled to the side of the residential street and put the car in park. "I am not trying to make you into anything Jamie. I want you to be who you are. And I want to help you get there. I want to be a part of who you are."

"What?"

My mother sighed. "I caught you wearing my pantyhose. You admitted that you had been wearing them regularly in secret. How do you want me to deal with that Jamie?"

"I don't know."

"And then you agree to wear them all summer. And you barely protest when I buy you some new clothes. You need to decide who you want to be Jamie. I'm trying to figure it out but I can't do it for you."

"Oh, okay. Well I, I just don't want to be a girl."

"Well I'm glad we've established that much." My mother started driving again. "Let's talk more about this tonight. I want you to think about it, okay?"

I nodded. Did I know who I was? I didn't even understand why I liked to wear hose. I wiggled my toes, feeling the nylon that encased them. But I certainly enjoyed them.

"Your grandmother might have a doctor's appointment today so you'll have to go with her."

"No problem."

My grandmother talked to my mother for a few minutes in the driveway while I went inside, exchanged my sandals for my slippers which were waiting for me beside the door, and stretched out on the couch to read a book. My grandmother joined me in the living room when she came inside.

"Your new shorts and shoes look nice Jamie. Do you like them?"

I wondered what my mother and grandmother had been talking about. "Yeah, the shorts are cooler and the shoes are easier to take off than my sneakers."

"I think they suit you well."

"Thanks."

"I'm probably going to have a doctor's appointment today. You don't mind coming along do you? We may have to wait a long time."

"That's okay." My mother didn't tell my sister and I what was wrong with my grandmother but she acted very serious about it. "What kind of doctor are we going to?"

"A cardiologist."

I knew that meant a 'heart doctor' but not much more. I wasn't likely to see anyone I knew there and maybe my grandmother needed my support. After a quick call to the office, my grandmother and I were off to her appointment. She told me they were going to work her in between the other appointments so we would likely have to wait awhile.

The office was full of old people, old from my perspective anyway. I took a seat next to an end-table with some magazines spread out on it while my grandmother talked to the receptionist. I was glad I had brought a book. The magazine pile consisted of ARP, Time, Newsweek, and some home and garden publications.

My grandmother returned and told me that we would probably be waiting a couple hours. The woman sitting across from us smiled and asked my grandmother if I was her grandson. They made small-talk for a few minutes while I buried my nose in my book. My grandmother was soon thumbing through a garden magazine. I raised my eyes at one point and found that the woman across from us was staring at my feet. My hose were sandlefoot but the seam was running across the top of my toes. It was obvious I was wearing pantyhose. She looked up at my face, saw my eyes, then quickly looked away.

We spent over three hours at the office. I finished my book and had to spend the remainder of the time watching some bad TV talk shows. The woman who noticed never said anything to me or my grandmother about my hose. She was called and left before my grandmother was called. I don't think anyone else noticed. I figure they had more pressing concerns on their minds.

My mother picked me up as usual but I had to wait in the car while my mother and grandmother talked on the porch.

"How's grandma?" I asked when my mother got in the car.

"She seems to be okay. Her doctor told her that she checked out fine."

"That's good to hear."

"So," my mother began as we were nearing home, "did you think about what we talked about this morning?"

Actually I hadn't given it much thought. I got wrapped up in my reading, then I worried about my grandmother, and I day-dreamed about IMing with Elizabeth. "A bit," I answered.

"Well let's have a talk before we get Julie, okay?"

We were soon sitting at the kitchen table. Really serious stuff happens at the kitchen table and my mother had that "we need to iron this out" look on her face.

"Earlier today you said you didn't want to look like a girl."

I nodded.

"Do you think you look like a girl?"

"Sometimes I look like a girl from the waist down."

"Hmmm. But from the waist up you're all boy."

"Well, yeah. I guess so."

"I'm not going to put you into a skirt or dress. You didn't protest much about the shoes and shorts and I see you're wearing them. Are you trying to tell me this is were you want to stop?"

"I think so. Yes."

"Okay, we can work with that. Do you regret agreeing to wear pantyhose for the summer?"

I wiggled my toes, reveling in the soft touch of the silky fabric. And what about Elizabeth and Megan, I thought. They would have never noticed me before. "No, I don't regret it. Sometimes I really like it. A lot of the time anymore I don't even notice and sometimes it's really hard." I thought about telling her how much I liked the attention from some of the girls, including Samantha, but that's not something I wanted to talk to my mother about.

"Is this helping you to figure anything out? Do you know more about who you are now?"

"I think so." I didn't understand what she was asking but she seemed so serious about it.
"You know you have come out of your shell a bit. You've even made some new friends."

"I know."

"Well, let's go get Julie," she said rising from the table. "If you ever want to talk about this some more, just tell me. Okay?"

"Okay Mom."

Julie was waiting outside when we pulled up to the mall's main entrance. I smiled to myself as she walked toward us in her skirt and hose. Mom was not going to let her get away with sloppy dressing. Once home we helped Mom heat up some left-overs for dinner. I was getting antsy to check my email for a message from Elizabeth so I ate quickly and headed for the computer.

As soon as my IM manager opened I saw Elizabeth's icon and handle. She was online. I took a deep breath. My heart was thumping and my fingers shaking a bit. I clicked her icon to open a chat window.

Jamie: Hi Elizabeth. This is Jamie.

Elizabeth: Hi Jamie. How are you?

Jamie: Great.

Jamie: Are you doing anything exciting this summer?

Elizabeth: You mean like a vacation or something?

Jamie: Yes.

I waited and waited.

Jamie: Are you still there?

Elizabeth: Sorry. There's talk about going to Yellowstone or one of the big parks.

Jamie: That sounds cool.

Jamie: Where do you hang out?

I waited and waited and then waited some more.

Jamie: We could chat later if you're busy.

Elizabeth: Sorry. I'm chatting with my boyfriend too.

Jamie: Won't he be upset about you talking to me?

Elizabeth: Why would he care? I mean you're gay aren't you?

Jamie: No, I'm not.

Elizabeth: But you wear pantyhose.

Jamie: They're clothes. That doesn't mean I'm gay.

Elizabeth: I'm sorry. I just assumed you were.

Jamie: I'll talk to you later.

Elizabeth: bye

I shut down the chat window and then shut down the computer. I wanted to cry and smash something at the same time. I felt sick. Did Megan think I was gay too? Even my mother had asked if I was gay. Women wear jeans and t-shirts. I don't ask them if they're gay. I went to my room and lay face down on the bed. I thought about talking to my mother about not wearing hose anymore but a part of me shouted no. I wanted to wear hose. I lay on my bed debating with myself for a half hour.

Julie's door was shut. That usually meant she didn't want to be bothered but I needed to talk. I knocked.

"Who is it?"

"Jamie. I need to talk to you."

Julie opened her door without any protest so I must have sounded serious. "What's up? Are you okay?"

I walked past her and sat on the edge of her bed. She didn't like me sitting on her bed or even being in her room but she didn't say anything this time.

"Do you think I'm gay?"

Julie closed the door. "What are you talking about?"

"Do you think I'm gay because I wear pantyhose?"

"No."

"Elizabeth does."

"Who's Elizabeth?"

"That girl I called the other day that gave me her phone number. I was IMing with her tonight."

"Oh, I'm sorry. She doesn't really know you."

"She has a boyfriend. She only talked to me because she thought I was gay."

"Jamie, anyone that knows you doesn't think you're gay. I know Samantha doesn't think that. I'm sure Megan doesn't either." Julie sat on her bed and hugged me. "I'm sorry Jamie. It's really tough to get rejected. You just met her anyway."

I kept my head down. I didn't want her to see the tears welling up again. "Okay, thanks sis." I got up to leave. "Don't tell mom, okay?"

"Of course not."

Synopsis:
Jamie talks to Megan.

Chapter 9

Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday were routine. I saw Elizabeth was online a few times but I didn't talk to her. I suppose I'll remove her at some time. As the days passed I realized that my closest friends would be coming home soon, probably over the weekend. I wondered how I would tell them about my hose and if they would accept me.

My mother had bought me a couple new pairs of hose to replace the ones that had developed runs. Before she had bought suntan hose but these were darker, something called coffee. On Thursday night I was stretched out on the couch reading a book. I was wearing one of the new pairs along with shorts and my slippers. My legs were definitely darker with this new shade, especially contrasted with the light tan couch.

I heard the doorbell ring and a cascade of laughter as Julie greeted Samantha. What did they find so funny all the time? Samantha paraded into the living room and flopped down in a recliner across from the couch. As much as she was over here, our house was as much hers as ours. She was wearing a maroon mini-skirt with flats and beige hose. Whenever she came over anymore she was always wearing hose. She leaned back and crossed her legs, displaying even more of her nylon-clad skin. I tried not to be obvious about looking.

"Hiya Jamie."

I waved politely then focused again on my book.

"Nice legs. Is that a new shade?"

"Yeah. My mom bought them."

Julie entered the living room with two cans of diet coke.

"I'm sorry about what that girl said to you. That was so mean and bogus."

"Julie!" I glared at my sister. "You weren't supposed to tell anyone."

"Samantha's almost like your sister. She won't tell anyone."

"You can count on me Jamie," Samantha said.

I sighed and returned to my book. They talked about their friends while they drank their cokes and I was able to ignore them for the most part until Samantha said something about seeing Megan at a music store.

"She actually asked me about you Jamie."

I felt my cheeks grow warm as Julie begged to know what Megan had asked.

"Well," began Samantha, "she asked if I knew why Jamie had started wearing pantyhose. Sorry Jamie but it sounds like Nikki told everyone she knows. I couldn't think up a good story so I told her the truth."

"You told her my mom caught me?"

"Well, yes. That's the truth isn't it?" Samantha looked to Julie for confirmation.

"What did she say?" asked Julie.

"That's the best part," responded Samantha. "Megan thinks you wearing hose all the time is wild. She said she used to think you were just some boring geek but now you're very interesting. And she wants to get to know you better."

"Is this a joke?" I asked. "It's not very funny if it is."

"Would I lie?" asked Samantha. "I couldn't make something like this up. It's too unbelievable."

"Wow Jamie," said my sister. "You should have started wearing hose a long time ago."

"So Jamie. Are you going to call her?"

"I don't have her number."

"Well look it up you dufus," exclaimed Julie. She ran to the kitchen and returned with the phone book which she dropped in my lap.

"Megan Whitticker. It's in the W's. Towards the end of the alphabet," said Julie.

Samantha was grinning from ear to ear. "Go on Jamie. Look it up. I'm sure there aren't that many Whittickers."

I thumbed through the W's and quickly found the entry. There were several Whittickers but I knew which street she lived on and there was only one on that street. I stared at the entry. My heart was pounding and my fingertips felt moist. Getting to know Megan would be a dream come true. What would Tom and Mike say? I would be the envy of everyone. But could I make the first move?

"What are you waiting for Jamie? Call her," my sister urged.

"Yeah Jamie, call her," echoed Samantha.

"Come on Jamie. Are you a man or a mouse? She wants you to call her."

A man I wondered. How many girls wanted their men to be wearing pantyhose. "Was she serious Samantha? You guys wouldn't do this as a joke right?"

"We're trying to help you out Jamie," said Julie. "Sometimes you need a kick in the butt."

"She was serious," Samantha assured me.

"Okay. But stay here. I don't want you guys breathing down my neck."

Both girls smiled in triumph and I noticed Samantha roll her eyes.

With trembling hand I dialed the number.

"Hello?"

"Hi. Could I speak to Megan."

"Who's calling?"

"Jamie. We go to the same church."

"Okay, just a minute."

Julie and Samantha were being extremely quiet as they listened from the living room.

"Hello?"

It was Megan's voice. "Uh, hi Megan. It's me, Jamie."

"Hi Jamie. How are you?"

"I'm fine."

"So, what's up?"

"Uh, ... Samantha said you talked to her?"

"Oh yeah. Did she tell you that we talked about you?"

"She did."

"Okay, I understand now. Are you wearing hose," she whispered.

"Yes."

"Do you really wear them all the time now?"

"Pretty much, yes."

"That is so wild. Did you want to ask me out or something?"

"I ... I hadn't really thought about that."

"How about meeting me for lunch at the mall tomorrow?"

"I would have to ask my grandmother but yeah that sounds great."

"Your grandmother? Is she your babysitter?"

"I spend the day with her while my mom and sister are at work."

"Okay, whatever. Well call me sometime tomorrow morning to let me know, okay?"

"Okay, I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"Bye Jamie."

"Bye."

The line went dead and I hung up the receiver.

"Well," Julie called.

"She wants me to meet her for lunch tomorrow at the mall."

"Oh my Julie, Jamie has a date."

"Only if mom and grandma agree to it," I said. "I'm going to talk to mom now." I left the girls excitedly chattering and giggling about my prospects and headed outdoors. I found my mother in the back yard working on a flower bed.

"Hi Jamie. Have you come out to help?"

"I need to ask you something."

"Oh oh. This sounds serious. What's up?"

"Remember Megan, from church?"

She nodded as she continued planting.

"She wants me to have lunch with her tomorrow at the mall."

My mother stopped working. "Really. How did this come about?"

I told her the story, well most of it, about Samantha, Megan, and the phone call. "I told Megan I would have to ask grandma."

"I guess it would be okay. I'm not sure what your grandmother will do while you're eating. I assume you don't grandma to eat with you."

"I was hoping not."

"Maybe she can have lunch with your sister? That might work. I'll talk to her in the morning."

"Thanks mom."

"Do you think you're ready for this?"

"We're just having lunch."

"You've never been very interested in girls."

"I don't think they're interested in me."

"Well, it sounds like this one might be. She might just want to be friends you know."

"I know. It will just be nice to talk to her."

My mother smiled. "Those look good on you."

"What?"

"Your nylons. That shade suits you. I'll have to get you some more like that. Now if there are no other earth shattering events to discuss I need to finish planting these flowers."

As I walked back to the house, I wondered what my meeting with Megan would bring and chided myself for wearing my pink fuzzy slippers outside. I needed to get a grip.

to be continued