By Sydney Moya

©2012

Chapter Twenty-Three

Hope renewed Mum spent the evening chatting to Nikki.

“You know what honey when you get out of here, I’m going to spoil you rotten baby and that’s a promise,” she told her child, “I know how difficult things have been especially in the last year because of your situation but all I want you to know is that I’m completely behind along with your dad and sisters and we’ll always stand behind you no matter what,” Mum was saying when Nikki squeezed her hand.

“Nikki,” murmured Mum squeezing back, “Please get up.”

As if in response Nikki squeezed Mum’s hand harder and her eyes fluttered open.

“Mum,” said Nikki drowsily as she regained consciousness.

“I’m here luv,” said Mum gently tears rolling down her face, “how are you feeling sweetie?” she asked as she wept and smiled.

“Wha, what happened? I feel terrible,” moaned Nikki in a raspy voice.

“You’re okay thank God. Let me get the nurses,” said Mum emotionally as she leaned over and kissed her daughter before pressing the panic button that would alert the nurses’ station.

“All I can remember is someone yelling ‘hey you’ as I passed by. I ignored him then someone shouted, ‘It’s that bloody tranny!” recalled Nikki weakly, doing her best not to cry, “I ran,” she went on, swallowing, “they chased me, caught my hair and pulled me back and, and,” she added before she lost her struggle and broke down in pain filled sobs.

“Nikki, it’s okay honey,” murmured Mum taking Nikki into her arms as best as she could in the presence of all the medical equipment while she fought back her own tears.

“Then, then they p-punched me over and over before tripping me and kicking me before I passed out,” continued my sister rather bravely if you knew how traumatic an experience it had been for her and now she had to recount it.

“They wanted to kill me,” sniffed Nikki, “they don’t even know me but, but they wanted to kill me, j-just because I’m different. My life isn’t important because I’m transsexual, because I don’t want to be a guy Mum,” said Nikki helplessly while she sobbed in our mothers arms.

It broke Mum’s heart to hear Nikki recount what had happened and the reason for it happening. Her baby had gone through so much as a result of her trying to be herself. All the abuse she’d suffered for being female and not male hurt Mum so much. Nikki hadn’t asked to be the way she was but it seemed like people seemed so intent on punishing her for it. Slowly the tears rolled down her cheeks.

“No Nikki your life is important darling. Being transgendered doesn’t make you less special than anybody else. You’re a special girl Nikki and you mean so much to so many people no matter what all the people who hate that do. They can ever take that away or our love for you,” murmured Mum gently as she embraced Nikki as both of them cried.

Later that night Nikki managed to fall asleep but this was more out of tiredness than anything else, she wasn't falling unconscious or slipping back into her former state. As she dozed peacefully with Mum watching a lot of things went through our mothers mind. Her child’s words and the obvious pain she was in, was gutting, Nikki didn’t deserve this and an idea formed in her mind, one she needed to pass by Dad though. She never wanted Nikki to experience something like this again. Having made her mind up she got up to make a phone call to Dad.

“Hi darling,” she said when he picked up.

“Hi Susie, how's Nikki?” replied Dad.

“She woke up,” said Mum happily.

“Really!” said Dad, relief washing over him like a tidal wave, “That’s wonderful! How is she feeling, did you talk to her? Is she still awake?”Dad inquired incessantly.

“No she’s fast asleep honey and she feels awful both mentally and physically. She managed to tell me what happened,” aid Mum in a downcast tone before going on to describe the attack to Dad.

Our father felt himself sickening to the core as he listened. Anger at the assailants and his love and piety for his child competed for control of his emotions.

“Damn it,” he swore as Mum recounted everything.

“Brian, Nikki’s really low right now. I think all this made her think life is hopeless and that since she’s different she’ll never fit in or be treated normally. She’s so hurt,” confided Mum sounding close to tears, “She sounded so broken.”

“Don’t cry Susie, don’t. We’re going to fix this, nothing like this will ever happen to her again okay?” said Dad consoling her.

The tone of his voice was filled with a certainty that made Mum stop and ask, “How? What do you mean?”

After a long discussion with Mum about what he planned to do, Dad finally put down the phone and came to our room at 2am to tell us the good news. Laura woke instantly; ever since the attack she’d become a light sleeper. I proved harder to rouse but Laura finally got me to sit up.

“Your mother just called,” began Dad with a smile.

“Did Nikki wake up?” we both queried eagerly at the same time.

“Yes,” said Dad his smile spreading.

Both of us shrieked in delight, overjoyed by the good news before we embraced each other then Dad.

“When do we see her?” asked Laura, “Can’t we go see her now?” she added impatiently.

I nodded in agreement, “We just have to see her Dad,” I told him.

“I know but we can’t go right now. Besides she’s asleep right now,” responded our father gently.

“Oh,” moaned Laura.

“Come on honey. You girls will be there fist thing in the morning and we’ll get her chocolates and flowers on the way okay?” urged Dad before drawing Laura closer and kissing her forehead.

It was a long night after that that as neither Laura nor me could get a wink of sleep excited as we were about her recovery and worried about her as well.

“Becks,” said my sister in a whisper.

“What is it?” I replied turning over to face her.

“Do you think...?” she continued before pausing abruptly like she was uncertain.

“Yes,” I gently prompted.

“Do you think Nikki will change?” said Laura.

“Change, how?” I answered, unsure what she meant.

“Like will she change on the inside,” explained Laura.

“I don’t follow you,” I said rather stumped.

My sister sat up, “I meant like will her personality change? I’ve read that sometimes when a person is put through a really violent shock it affects their brain and they can change completely. Sometimes they can change their favourite colours or start hating things they used to love like chocolate and so on,” explained Laura.

“Brain damage, that’s what you mean?” I replied and Laura gave a small nod.

“Come off it, Nikki’s going to be fine Laura,” I admonished her.

“What if..?” insisted Laura.

“No don’t think like that okay,” I retorted unwilling to consider anything that morbid having happened to Nikki.

Clara, Vicky, Sammy, George and Michelle rendezvoused at our place early the next morning.

“Nikki’s awake!” Laura and I yelled when we let them in.

The look on their faces said it all, they were relieved and overjoyed. Clara was crying tears of joy and she and Laura embraced. To be honest in our excitement we nearly forgot to purchase things for Nikki, so eager were we to see her but Dad made sure we got her chocolates and flowers together with cards.

When we arrived at the hospital Nikki was already up talking to Mum. Seeing us her face lit up and her beauty shone through the purple bruises on her cheekbones. We all smiled back.

“Hey Nikki,” we all chorused.

“Hey” said my sister.

Laura rushed to her and threw her arms around her.

“Welcome back sis. You don’t know how much everyone’s missed you. Are you okay?”

“Thanks honey I’m glad to see you too luv. I’m not too bad I suppose,” said my sister warmly, her eyes bright.

I was next followed by Dad, then Clara.

“Hey babe what’s up, how are you?” her friend asked after the hugs.

“Hi Clara, I’m hundreds. What have you been up to without me?” replied Nicole.

“Come on,” responded Clara rolling her eyes, “do you think I can do stuff in your absence?” she said squeezing her pals hand.

Grammy, George, Sammy, Michelle and Vicky all got their turn to hug and talk to my sister. It was all so emotional and I realised how lucky I was to have Nikki as my sister. I also saw how much they all loved her while I’d wanted to see her miserable only a few months before and I could have sobbed with grief at my cruelty.

My sister had nearly died and I could not have claimed to have had as close a relationship as she had with everyone else in the room. If the truth be told my relationship with my sibling had been coloured by resentment, envy, indifference and bitterness all coming from me and it made an ugly picture. Supposing Nikki hadn’t made it what would I have had to remember about me and her besides that I’d spend a large part of my life being jealous of her. I knew that even though we’d made a fresh start I could never feel comfortable around Nicole or with myself until I’d told her what I’d done to her and how much ill will I’d harboured her.

Sunday passed without incident except the continuing miracle of my sister’s survival and all the gifts that poured in from various well wishers. Dad read out the cards for her and everything was going smoothly until he picked up a card from Nikki’s ex, Wayne.

He read it, disturbed that Wayne still wanted a part in his daughter’s life despite what he’d put her through.

“Dad is everything okay?” enquired Nikki on seeing the frown on her father’s face.

“Who is that one from?” she added her face clouding.

Dad wondered whether to tell her but the look on Nikki’s face demanded an answer.

“It’s from Wayne Wood,” he told Nikki and for an instant he almost regretted it as a pained expression appeared on his daughter’s face.

“What does it say?” she asked her heart twanging.

“Nikki I don’t have to,” said Dad remembering Nicole’s misery when Wayne had dumped her.

“No it’s okay, I can handle it Dad,” insisted Nikki quietly.

“You sure?” asked Dad.

“Uh huh, I’ve got over him,” replied Nikki with a small nervous smile.

“All right, it reads as follows, ‘Hey there Nicole. I’m sorry about what happened to you outside your school. I hope you get well soon and whoever did it gets caught. Best wishes and kindest regards Wayne Wood,’

Nikki’s first reaction was, “How formal, he always called me Nikki,”

“He sent you some flowers,” continued Dad handing Nikki a bouquet of carnations.

“That’s nice,” commented Nikki quietly, “I wonder how he knew I was here and about what happened,” wondered Nikki.

“You made some of Friday’s papers you know,” replied Dad.

Nikki’s face immediately clouded, full of worry, “Did they splash it across the papers that I’m transgendered?” she queried worriedly.

“No they didn’t. Thank God for small mercies,” said Dad.

“Yes, it would be awful if it had but I’m scared it’ll leak out and I won’t be able to lead a quiet life,” answered Nikki before she shrugged and decided she wasn’t going to add some more stress to her life by thinking about it.

On Monday the girls at our school were in for a surprise. George’s appeal had moved a lot of the boys especially the younger ones who had the highest regards for Nicole. All the prefects wore hairbands. About 60% of the boys took part in George’s show of support for Nikki. When Mr Delaney informed the school about the improvement in Nikki’s condition there was a huge cheer at the news which was heartening to say the least. Laura’s friends probably cheered the most as well as engulfing her with hugs.

“You’ll never believe what George and Carl did,” gushed Clara later that day during her visit to my sister.

“It was amazing,” added Sammy beaming at George.

“Okay George I’m all ears,” said Nikki with interest seeing the large grin on his face.

“Yeah let her get it from the horse’s mouth,” said Vicky whose smile left Nikki dying to know.

“Well,” said my sister, inviting an explanation from George.

“Um I sort can’t explain. Why don’t you girls tell her?” said George uneasily.

“I suppose we’d better. He doesn’t like blowing his own trumpet,” replied Clara with a smile.

“Nikki it goes like this,” began Sammy excitedly, “George got more than half the boys at school to turn up wearing hairbands today.”

“You’re kidding,” responded Nikki, mouth open, “whatever for?”

“To show support for you,” said George quietly.

Nikki stared at him, “I don’t get you,” she told him.

“Nikki it’s like we wanted to show our support for you and protest what happened because it’s your right to be yourself and we stand by you,” explained George.

Nikki was moved and she realised once again that there were good people too, not everyone was against her or indifferent and her eyes watered.

“Thank you,” she said from the bottom of her heart.

This was a real morale booster because my sister had been privately quite depressed and haunted by sudden recalls of the attack.

Nicole remained in the hospital for another week, endearing herself to the nurses in the process as was her wont. They simply loved her cheerful and chatty personality. During that time she also talked to the police about what had happened but since she hadn’t gotten a clear view of any of her assailants the case wasn’t making much headway.

Nikki also continued with her studies even though she was ahead in all her classes she still did all the homework Clara and Sammy were given as she wanted to keep her mind sharp. No one was surprised at this not least of all her teachers when they received her completed work; she’d always been very conscientious about her schoolwork. Her teachers teased her a bit when they visited, telling her to slow down slightly. Of course this fell on deaf ears and they continued to receive Nikki’s homework during her convalescence. The main thing is Nikki remained upbeat despite everything like the fact that her ribs hurt a lot and her right arm was in a cast.

Her spirit could not be broken.

To be continued.