In ancient times, when the box owned by the beautiful Pandora, the first mortal woman, was opened all the troubles of the world flew out and could never be put back. So what will happen when a trunk with the name 'Pandora Wilkins' is discovered in a house in North London in 2009? Pandora’s Trunk Chapter 9 by Louise Anne Smithson Copyright © 2013 Louise Anne Smithson All Rights Reserved.

It was nearly five o’clock when I eventually left the salon dressed in my new work clothes and my sister’s winter coat. I had with me two carrier bags: one contained Nick’s clothes and the other various items of cosmetics that I’d been given. Twenty minutes earlier I’d sent a text message to Lucy indicating that I’d soon be ready to meet her. Shortly afterwards I received a reply instructing me to make my way to the Students’ Union in Gordon Street, which was only a ten minute walk away from the salon, (or perhaps fifteen minutes as I now had to walk more carefully than usual in my high heels and tight skirt).

I entered the Union coffee bar and saw Lucy sitting at a table by herself reading a textbook. She didn’t notice me, and I was almost next to her before she acknowledged my presence.

‘Becky?’ she said with a note of genuine surprise in her voice.

I smiled.

‘My goodness, they don’t go in for half measures, do they? They really have got you looking like a girly-girl.’

‘Is that intended to be a compliment or not?’ I asked, as I sat down, smoothing my skirt as I did so.

‘Oh yes, you look lovely, but they’ve changed you so much: your hair colour, your eyes, and those eyelashes,’ she said with mock emphasis on the last word.

‘They have rather gone to town on my appearance,’ I replied blushing slightly.

‘I’ll say. I feel totally overshadowed by my lovely young cousin. You’re far too glamorous for the Students’ Union. There’s a sandwich bar down road, let’s go there and you can tell me all about your day. However I won’t be able to stay for too long as I have an essay to finish.’

Lucy wanted to hear all the details and professed herself to be envious of the beauty treatment that I’d received and of my new ‘look’.

‘Thanks. I’m going to have to buy a few more underclothes in the next day or two, and in the longer term I I’ll probably need to get myself some other clothes, but Carol has promised to loan me some or hers so I’ll wait for a while before making any decisions,’ I said.

‘I’ll have to go back to the library now, Becky, but why not come to my flat tomorrow morning at 10.30. We can go shopping for some lingerie and I’ll also loan you that dress and the shoes that you wore last week.’

‘Alright then, thank you very much.’

It was six thirty and I knew that Carol wasn’t going to be home for three hours and so I needed to kill some time. I decided to risk doing some early evening shopping in Regent’s Street on my own. For the first time I was able to spend time examining female clothing without any feeling of embarrassment. I even considered trying on a couple of dresses but in the end decided against it. I wasn’t in a position to spend a lot of money before I’d received my first wages. I did, however, buy myself a few items that I was going to need to look after my hair, including a hair brush, some rollers and hair grips. I decided to leave any purchase of underwear until I went out with Lucy the following day.

At eight o’clock I realised that I was feeling quite hungry. I’d been too nervous to eat any breakfast that morning and had only had a sandwich at lunchtime, so decided to treat myself to something to eat in the Wendy’s burger bar in Upper Regent Street, partly to give my feet a rest. I was still feeling good about the way I looked, although conscious of receiving several glances from other diners. For a moment I wondered whether they could see through the disguise, but then realised that it was rather because I was so nicely dressed and made up. Before leaving for Willesden, I made my way to ‘the Ladies’ where I emptied my bladder and proceeded to refresh my lipstick. There were a couple of other girls using the mirror, but no-one paid any particular attention to me.

I approached Carol’s flat laden with my new possessions and make-up and feeling both tired and happy. I noticed a light on in the living room indicating that she was already at home, earlier than she’d intended.

‘Hi Carol,’ I said cheerfully as I let myself in the front door, put down my two bags in the hall and took off the coat.

My sister emerged from the kitchen, when she heard me come in. She took one look at me and went white. I’d quite forgotten that she’d yet to see me dressed as a girl.

‘Oh my God, Nick, whatever have they done to you? You look like a call girl.’

I was a little taken aback by her reaction, having been the recipient of an afternoon full of re-assurance and compliments about my appearance; but I managed to stand my ground.

‘It isn’t Nick; it is Becky now — at your request, if you remember. You knew perfectly that I was going to be dressed as a girl when I came home this evening.’

‘Yes, but you didn’t say that you would come home with dyed hair, smothered in make-up, and wearing a tight skirt and ‘Fuck-me’ shoes,’ she continued, angrily.

Suddenly I felt embarrassed and a little sorry that I’d allowed us all to get so carried away with my appearance during the afternoon. Carol had clearly never been to a drag club and had no idea what went on there. I should have broken it to her more gently.

‘And what have they done to your eyebrows? I sincerely hope you’ll be able to remove those false eyelashes tonight!’

Oh God! Whatever is she going to say when she notices my ear-piercings?’ I thought.

It was as if all of my feelings of self-confidence and well-being had evaporated in an instant; I just felt like a silly little boy who’d been caught playing with his mother’s make-up. I now felt ashamed of myself and my feelings. Yet at the same time, deep down, I knew that I’d wanted to do this for as long as I could remember. Now that the cat was out of the bag I was not going to let anyone spoil things for me.

‘No, actually Carol, they’re eyelash extensions. They’re stuck in place for the next three or four weeks, so we’ll both have to get used to them,’ I said with tears beginning to form in the corners of my eyes.

‘Whatever is Mum, going to say when she sees you?’

‘I thought we’d agreed that Mum is unlikely to see me before Christmas,’ I said trying to disguise the signs of my distress.

‘Don’t you realise that what you’ve done today is going to take a lot more than six weeks to put right again?’ she responded angrily. ‘I’m supposed to be responsible for you: what will she think if she sees you looking like that!’

Suddenly it was all too much for me to take, and I gave way to the mixture of pent up emotions.

‘Well I don’t care what you or she thinks, I’m an adult now, and for the first time in years I have felt really good about myself today. Now you’ve ruined it all,’ I said angrily, through my growing tears.

Carol looked quite taken aback by my reaction, as I don’t think we’d ever had a stand-up row before. I didn’t give her time to respond. I picked up my belongings and stomped off to my bedroom, slamming the door behind me and locking it. I spent the next ten minutes on my bed, quietly weeping, not just about the things that Carol had just said to me, but for all the unhappiness in my life of being a boy who so wanted to be a girl, but could never say so because he knew he wouldn’t be understood and accepted by those that he loved.

After fifteen minutes or so there was a gentle knocking on my bedroom door.

‘Are you alright in there … Nick?’

I caught sight of my reflection in the mirror and looked an absolute fright with disheveled hair, smeared eyes and blotchy cheeks. I felt so angry about what she’d said, but also ashamed of how I looked and felt and had reacted. At that moment I wouldn’t have known what to say to her.

‘Go away, I don’t want to talk to you, and in any event it is Becky, not Nick.’

After a little while the knocking ceased. If she’d only addressed me as Becky rather than as Nick I would have opened the door.

After a few more minutes of silence outside my door I heard her return to her room. I carefully undressed, removed all the make-up, put some moisturizing cream on my skin and brushed and tied up my hair. I’d been instructed to leave the earrings in place for the time being until the holes had settled down. For want of anything else to wear, I had to put on a pair of Nick’s pyjamas and again scrutinized myself in the dressing table mirror. In spite of my male clothing and lack of make-up, all I could now see in front of me was a young woman with puffy eyes. I smiled at my reflection, and the girl in the mirror smiled back. There was no way that I was now going to allow her to be banished from existence.

I went to bed and for an hour or more I lay there going through all of the events of the day and then the previous week, in my mind. Did I have any regrets? Absolutely not, in spite of what Carol might say or do in the morning. If she asked me to leave her flat or decided to tell Mum, then - so be it. I would just have to face the consequences. Eventually, after about an hour of lying in bed thinking about my situation, I fell asleep and dreamed about make-up and hair styles.

I must have been emotionally drained by the events of the last few days, and especially those of the previous night, as I found that I slept for much longer than normal on Saturday morning. It was nine-thirty when I awoke. Lucy was expecting me in an hour and it would take me half that time to reach her, if the buses were in my favour. There was no sound coming from the flat, and so after I’d been to the toilet, I peered into Carol’s room but there was no sign of her; she’d already got up and gone out. It would appear that last night’s spat had upset both of our sleeping routines for as a rule she would sleep in late at weekends and I would be the first up.

The first question to be answered was what I was going to wear for the day. I could have put on the skirt and blouse provided for me by the club once again, but I was going to need these on Monday for work and didn’t want to get them dirty. I’d been counting on wearing the clothes that Carol had promised to loan to me, but in the circumstances I would now have to forget about them. There was really no choice but for me to wear some of Nick’s clothes, at least until I got to Lucy’s place to change. She had a couple of items of lingerie that I’d bought the previous weekend, and also the dress and shoes that she’d promised to loan me, so at least I’d be able to change before we went out shopping together. I therefore went through Nick’s rather meagre wardrobe looking for the most androgynous top and jeans that I could find, together with some white socks and white trainers. I would, however, need to retain the bra that I’d been wearing the previous day, especially as Sarah had warned me about going bra-less with my new breast forms, but I would be able to buy myself a new one in time to wear to work on Monday.

I was dressed in Nick’s clothes, but it was Becky that peered back at me from the mirror. Not as glamorous as she’d been the previous day without the benefit of make-up and smart clothes, but it was Becky, none the less, with her dark brown long hair, girly eye lashes and breasts clearly visible under her t-shirt. This realisation at least gave me the confidence that I would be able to go out without everyone staring at me and thinking that I was some kind of freak. I toyed with the idea of putting on a little lipstick and eye shadow, but it had taken me enough time to deal with my hair and I was already running late. I therefore quickly sent Lucy a text message to warn her, put my make-up case into a shopping bag which I was using for the time being as a temporary handbag, and left for Lucy’s flat.

Nobody batted an eyelid or took a second look at me during my journey across North London. Even when I had to pop in to a local newsagent’s shop to top-up my ‘Oyster’ card the assistant addressed me as ‘Miss,’ without a moment’s hesitation.

‘Hi Becky! I was wondering what had happened to you, and why are you dressed like that?’ asked Lucy as she answered her door to me.

‘Sorry, but Carol totally freaked out when she saw me last night, and, so I wasn’t able to borrow anything else to wear from her today,’ I explained.

‘What do you mean by ‘freaked out?’’

‘She told me that I looked like a prostitute, and so I stomped off to my bedroom and refused to talk to her any more. I haven’t spoken to her since.’

I began to blush.

‘Did I really look like a prostitute last night?’ I asked.

‘No, of course not, you looked great. Maybe they did get a little carried away with your make-up and everything yesterday, but everyone does that to begin with; it’s all part of learning the game. I can remember my mother telling me off for exactly the same reason when I was sixteen and I’m sure that your mother would have done the same to Carol at some point.’

‘I’m not so sure, Carol was always fairly serious minded.’

‘So she would like you to think,’ said Lucy. ‘But why did she freak out when she already knew what you were planning to do?’

‘I think some of it was the shock on her part of seeing her little brother dressed as a girl and wearing make-up for the first time,’ I replied, beginning to smile.

Lucy chuckled.

‘She needn’t have been so rude to you, but I can see her point. Another time, I suggest you should stick with your own lashes, which were perfectly long and full enough. A few coats of mascara will work wonders if you want to dress up, and can be toned down at other times.’

‘I suppose that I have learned my first lesson in wearing make-up - not to get carried away.’

Lucy smiled.

‘Don’t worry, we’ve all made that mistake, but what do you think Carol will do now? Will she tell your mother?’ asked Lucy.

‘I doubt it. In fact that was one of her main worries last night - what will Mum say?’

‘So what do you intend to do now, Becky?’

I was so pleased that Lucy added that final word to her sentence, and didn’t say ‘Nick’ or just leave the comment open. I got the impression that she at least understood how I felt without it being spelled out and would be on my side, whatever I chose to do. It was the addition of that single word that gave me the confidence I needed.

‘I’m not going back to being a guy for the next six weeks. I’ve made a commitment, and I intend to keep to it. I suppose I’ll just have to try and talk to Carol once again this evening. I intend to do so dressed as Becky, although this time I’ll probably tone down the make-up a bit.’

‘Good for you, if that’s what you want, I’ll help you in any way I can. I was due to go out with Andy tonight, but if you like I’ll put him off and come with you to offer some moral support.’

‘No Lucy, that’s good of you to offer, but I need to face Carol on my own. However, I would be grateful to borrow your dress and shoes once again, if I may, so I have something suitable to wear when I see her. Also I’d appreciate it if we could go out to buy myself some more underclothes as originally planned.’

‘Yes, of course, but first of all let’s get you looking a little bit more like a real girl,’ she said smiling.

Twenty minutes later I was wearing a dress and tights once again and sitting in front of Lucy’s dressing table feeling a lot better about myself. This time I did my own make-up, and made a reasonable job of it. My cousin kept a close eye on my efforts and rectified one small mistake that I’d made.

‘How are your ear piercings feeling?’

‘Not too bad, I think. I was advised not to touch them for a few days and so I slept in my earrings last night, there didn’t seem to be any great problem with them.’

‘And what about you hair extensions?’

‘I don’t really notice the braids any more, and I guess it feels like natural hair. It’s a nice feeling to have long hair, but I’m having to get used to keeping it from falling in my face.’

‘I’ll help you to manage it and will show you how to use grips to keep it away from your face, but you’ll find that you will need to be constantly aware of how it looks, and also of the need to refresh your make-up from time to time.

‘I know. They showed me what to do at the salon and I bought myself some grips and rollers last night, although I didn’t get the opportunity to use them.’

‘No problem, your hair looks alright for now but I suggest that you wash it and put it in rollers on Sunday night before you go in to work for the first time. Also, leave yourself plenty of time to fix your make-up on Monday afternoon. You’ll get faster once you’ve had a bit more experience.’

‘There seem to be so many extra things to remember as a girl.’

‘Don’t worry, you’ll soon get used to them, and they’ll eventually become second nature,’ she said smiling.

’That’s what Sarah from the salon said to me yesterday. I hope you are both right.’

I was ready again by midday and shortly before we were due to go out I received a text message from Carol. This time it was addressed neither to Nick nor Becky.

'Where are you? When will you be home? We need to talk! Carol.’

It seemed a little ominous that she’d decided to text me rather than to ring, but on the other hand it was easier for me to deal with, as I didn’t want to have another row with her on the telephone in front of Lucy. I therefore responded with a text message.

‘I’ve gone shopping for some lingerie, with Lucy. I expect to be back by five tonight. Hope we can talk then - love Becky.’

I hoped that this might at least give a clue to her that I wouldn’t be backing down. Five minutes later her response came:

‘Alright, see you then. I’ll provide dinner for us both tonight, luv C.

’

My sister had obviously cleared her diary for the evening and no doubt wished to have a serious talk with me. I doubted if she was going to be doing any cooking by herself but would no doubt arrange for a nice meal to be delivered from a takeaway.

Lucy and I had a great time shopping during the course of Saturday afternoon and I soon forgot all my worries concerning my forthcoming interview with my sister, or indeed that I might give away my biological sex to the shop assistants. I enjoyed the experience of going out shopping as a girl, especially with a female companion. Clothes shopping had always been an ordeal for Nick, something to be gotten over with as quickly as possible, but for Becky it was fun. I also noticed that I was beginning to take an interest in colour combinations, different fabrics and styles, things that I’d barely noticed in the past. I even tried on a few dresses, but wasn’t in a position to buy anything. Both Lucy and I bought ourselves some underclothes, and I would now have just about enough to be going on with as long as I did my laundry at regular intervals. I would, however, still have to wear Nick’s clothes around the house on my days off, which was a source of disappointment to me as I was sure that I wanted immerse myself in being Becky until the end of November.