A TV's Dream

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A TV’s Dream
By Patricia Marie Allen

My parents were separated when I was four years old. Mom moved to the West Coast with us kids. When I was in the first grade, my father decided to try and reconcile. He showed up one Saturday unannounced. It had been so long since I had seen him that I didn’t recognize him. He moved in and things began to get a little strained.

Mom, as she had done since the separation, had a boyfriend.

He was a ne'er-do-well drunk, but I suppose that he satisfied some kind of need for mom. I had no idea what marital relationships should be like. So I didn’t know that mom shouldn’t have a boyfriend. When Phil was to drunk, mom would make him sleep on a mattress in the basement. I happened to be in the basement when dad discovered the mattress in that room. He asked me why the mattress was there. I told him that was where Phil slept when he was drunk. He then asked who Phil was. I innocently told him that Phil was mom’s boyfriend.

The next day my brother told me that mom had moved away. I found out later that she had gone to Los Angeles I didn’t see my mother for six years. In the mean time, my older sister got married and moved to California, my brother had graduated high school and joined the Air Force. My other sister graduated high school and got a summer job prior to college the next fall. I was the only one able to respond when my older sister called and said Phil had been arrested and would be in jail all summer. Mom needed someone to stay with her through the summer because her leg was bothering her and she couldn’t cook for herself. She also sometimes needed help in and out of bed.

My dad said if I wanted to go, he would fly me down and I could come back anytime I wanted, but for sure the first week in September. I planned ahead and swiped a good supply of my sister’s underwear and a couple of bras. I also dug out the nightgown I had purloined from the Goodwill bag last year. I packed all that secretly. My plan was to wear panties everyday, all summer and to sleep in a nightgown every night. I also made sure that I had a bathrobe so that if I had to get up in the middle of the night to help mom, I could just put on the robe. That way, she wouldn’t know what I was sleeping in.

Arrangements were made and I flew out that Friday. My sister met me at the airport and took me to moms’. She lived in a low rent neighborhood. It wasn’t all that bad; it was just that the houses all needed a little TLC that they hadn't gotten for many years. Mom’s house was a duplex. The other half was occupied by single mother with two daughters fifteen and nine years old. I met them right away. The neighbor had graciously been seeing to it that mom at least got something to eat. The older girls name was Michelle and the younger one was Marcie. They were there, bringing mom some lunch when we arrived.

I settled into the second bedroom which my sister had outfitted with a twin bed and dresser. I obviously didn’t unpack right away. I didn’t want anyone to know just what was in my luggage. The neighbor invited mom and I to dinner that night. Mom went to bed about 9:00. She said her leg was bothering her. I got ready for bed about a half an hour later. I put on one of the bras and stuffed out the cups. I slipped on the nightgown. It was about knee length, nylon and sleeveless. The shoulder straps were lace. There was matching lace at the hem.

I swished through the house. I somehow really enjoyed the idea that I was dressed this way while mom was in the house. The only time I had ever had any girl’s clothes on at home was when no one was there. Oh, I had sneaked the nightgown on at night, but I never even got out of bed with it on, let alone wondered through the house.

That set the pattern for the next several days. It was Thursday or Friday the next week when I was over visiting the neighbor girl. She was slightly over weight. Not gross or anything, but just enough that she wasn't very popular. She was glad to have a neighbor who didn’t know anyone and would be friendly with her. Although, she had confided in me that she had hoped it would be mom’s other daughter who came for the summer. Oh she was quick to say that she didn’t mean to imply she didn’t like me or anything, it was just that she was a girl and she had hoped to have another girl around.

Anyway, she asked me to help her rearrange her bedroom furniture. I agreed to help. During the moving, I guess my shirt pulled up when I bent over and my pants pulled down a little and she caught a glimpse of my underwear. I guess she pointed it out to her sister and mother. I caught them whispering to one another when they thought I couldn’t see.

When we were through, she sat on couch in the living room smiling at me. Her sister was giggling for no reason. Her mother chided the little girl.

"Marcie, I told you not to do that. It’s none of your business." I was mystified. About then Michelle started to say something and then didn’t. She got up and went into the kitchen. A few moments later, her mother followed her. I could hear them talking in muffled tones. All the while, Marcie was on the couch grinning. Finally, I heard her mother say. "Well, I guess we really should say something to him. The way you two have been carrying on, he’s bound to be suspicious." She came in followed by Michelle. She took a chair near me. "Larry, you probably think the girls have flipped their lids or something. I tried to get them to forget… no, I mean ignore something they apparently can’t. When you were bending over in Michelle's room, we could tell what kind of underwear you had on." With that, I could feel my face begin to burn. My eyes began to water. "Don’t get upset. I told them that it was none of our business what kind of underwear you had on. You probably had your own reasons for wearing them. And what ever that was it was OK. We shouldn’t pass judgment.” Then she looked a Michelle and Marcie. "Now girls, I think you both owe Larry and apology."

"I’m sorry Larry; I really don’t care if you wear girls’ underwear."

"Me too Larry," Marcie said. "It’s just you’re the first boy I’ve known that did that. I heard about boys who did. My cousin said she used to have a neighbor that did it. But he was older. And he wore dresses and every thing."

"Now girls, he may not want to talk about it," their mom said.

I felt sudden relief. I had never realized that there might be someone else like me, a man who wore girl’s clothes. "He wore dresses and everything?"

"That’s what my cousin said. He would dress-up and go places."

"Oh wow."

"Do you ever were dresses?"

"Ah… yeah. Sometimes."

"I’d like to see that.” My heart began to race. She wanted to see me in a dress. No one had ever seen me in a dress. "Mom, if he wanted to would you loan him your wig? You never wear it anymore."

"Well if he wanted to, but I don’t think we should really push him into something like that. I think that it’s probably a very private thing with him."

"Well, if you want to Larry, you can borrow my clothes."

"Let’s all move on from here. I think we are making Larry uncomfortable. OK? Michelle why don’t you and Marcie go to the store for me."

I went back across the hall. My pulse was still racing. "Hi Larry, I thought you would stay over at Michelle's until dinner time."

"She had to go to the store for her mother."

"We need some groceries. Why don’t you go with her? I was just making a list.” She gave me some money and a list. I stepped out on the porch just as Michelle and Marcie were stepping off the steps.

"Mom wants me to go with you," I told them.

On the way there, Michelle spoke up. "I hope we didn’t embarrass you too much. I think you’re really a neat guy and I want to be your friend this summer."

"Oh I’ll get over it I guess."

"Good. I wouldn’t like to have you here all summer and be avoiding me."

We walked in silence for a while. "Did you really mean it when you said you wanted to see me and that you’d loan me your clothes?"

"Oh yeah. Anytime you want. Why? Do you want too?"

"Oh I don’t know. It just seems strange that some one would want to see me."

"No stranger then that you would do it."

"I guess that’s right."

"Are you going to do it?"

"Not today. I have to think about it."

On Saturday I woke up thinking about wearing a dress. I thought about it so strong that I decided not to get dressed. I put on my robe and went out to fix breakfast. Mom got up as the coffee was finishing up and I was making the oatmeal.

"How come you’re not dressed yet?"

"Oh I’m just feeling lazy. I’ll get dressed after breakfast.” I have to admit that it was exciting to be talking to mom, knowing I was still wearing a nightgown under my robe. It was a particular thrill when I was sitting at the table and noticed that my robe was pulled apart and I could see the hem of my nightgown peeking out.

Later, I did get dressed and went over to Michelle's. We were sitting around watching television and they advertised the late movie. It was "Some Like It Hot.” Michelle and I looked at each other she grinned. I swallowed hard. Before I could think about it, I said. "Can I do it today?"

"You mean what I think you mean?" she asked. I nodded. "Sure. Come on.” She got up and led the way to her room. She opened her lingerie drawer and took out a bra and slip and laid them on her bed. Then she opened her closet and said. "Pick out a dress and I’ll get moms wig.” I rummaged through her dresses and selected a loose flower print that was lightweight cotton. I had my shirt off and was putting on the bra when she came back with the wig. She put it on for me. My heart was beating fast. I could feel it in my chest.

"I need something to put in here," I said indicating the bra cups. She pulled a box off the closet shelf. Laying it on the bed, she handed me a pair of falsies. I had heard of them, but this is the first time I had actually seen them.

"Here," she said. "When I was thirteen, I used these. I thought a bigger bust line would make me look skinnier.” I dropped one in each side. They didn’t actually fill the cups all the way, but they would have if I wore my own bra.

I pulled the slip over my head, followed by the dress. Turning my back, I hiked up the dress and kicking off my shoes, I undid my pants and stripped out of them. Michelle produced some anklets with a lace cuff and some shoes. I put them on grinning.

"Let’s go into the bathroom," she said leading the way. Once there, she brushed out the wig and put lipstick on me. I was ecstatic. We went back out to the living room and I walked back and forth for her. After a while, I sat on the couch and we watched TV and talked. Shortly, Marcie and her mother came back from her swimming lesson at the park.

"Oh cool! You did it," Marcie said as soon as she cleared the door.

"I guess you did," her mother said with a little chuckle. "You know Larry; I’d say you make a passable girl. You should really get a different wig though. That hairstyle is a little old for you.

"The only thing I’m worried about is what will your mother say about this?"

"Ah… I don’t know. She didn’t know about the underwear."

"Well, I’ll go along with this, only so long as we’re careful to keep it from your mother. The way I figure it, is you’ll do it anyway. I might as well keep a lid on it by allowing it. That, I hope, will keep you from doing something stupid."

At lunch time, I changed back to my clothes and went home and fixed mom lunch. I hung out with her for a while and saw to it that she had everything she needed. About 2:00 I was back at Michelle's getting dressed again. That was the way it went for nearly two weeks. Then one morning, I over stayed my time in a dress. I had to hurry to get back and get mom lunch. As I sat down at the table to eat, mom looked at me.

"Larry, are you wearing lipstick?" she asked. I touched mouth and looked at my fingers. There was no denying it. I had lipstick on. I had to think quick.

"Ah, yeah. I guess I am."

"Why in the world are you wearing lipstick?"

"Well, ah… when I went over there Michelle was saying how she had hoped that it would be your daughter who came to take care of you. Marcie started teasing me about how I would look dressed like a girl. And, well, they laughed and teased me until I finally agreed to try it."

"You were all dressed up like a girl? What did Mrs. Learner think about that?"

"She got me a wig and lent me the lipstick."

"How long did you stay dressed up?"

"Ah well, it was about 10:30 when I gave in, so I guess it would have been just over an hour."

"So how did you like being a girl?"

"Well, it was kind of fun. But I didn’t really get to do too much. They dared me to come back after lunch and do it again."

"Are you going to do it?"

"Ah… I, I don’t know. I kind of thought I might. But I don’t know. What do you think?"

"I think you probably are. You are easily manipulated. You’ll go over there and they’ll tease you. You’ll do it again."

"Yeah, I guess I am. Maybe I should just stay here this afternoon."

"Oh go ahead and get it over with. If you wait, they’ll just tease you about being chicken next time you’re over there and you’ll do it then."

So I went back and put on the dress again. At dinnertime, I changed back and went to fix dinner. As we were eating, mom asked. "Well was I right?"

"Yeah, I did it again. They weren’t satisfied though. They say since you found out about it, I should spend twenty-four hour as a girl without any breaks."

"How do they propose that you do that?"

"Well, they say I should sleep in a nightgown and put on a dress in the morning and wear it all day and sleep the next night in a nightgown again."

"That’s a tall order. Are you going to let them talk you into it?"

"I told them it would have to be up to you."

"Suppose I said you couldn’t do it?"

"Well that would settle it. I wouldn’t do it."

"Suppose I said you could?"

"I guess I would have to do it. I let them think that if you didn’t object, I would."

"Well, I’m not going to make it that easy on you. You have to decide it by yourself."

When I came back that evening I was carrying a dress, a slip some socks, shoes and the wig. Mom looked up as I walked in. "I see you made up your mind."

"Ah, yeah. I guess I’m going to do it. You didn’t say I couldn’t so I don’t see how I can get out of it."

I went to my bedroom and hung up the dress and put on my bra and nightgown. I put the wig on and went to get mom ready for bed. She grinned and then laughed. "So this is what I can expect all day tomorrow?"

I smiled. "Yep. For the next twenty-four hours, here I am.” Mom shook her head as I put her in bed.

In the morning, I put on the wig and stopped by the bathroom to put on some lipstick. I started breakfast. Mom came out and grinned. "I see you didn’t change your mind,” she said.

"No, I would never live it down if I did."

"No, I guess you wouldn’t. Not given what you’ve done already."

After breakfast, I went in and put on the dress. I washed the dishes and put them away before I went over to Michelle's. Michelle and Marcie wanted to know what my mother said.

"She didn’t say too much. She thinks you teased me into to it, so she’s giving me a hard time about letting you manipulate me."

At lunch I was back in the kitchen. It was really cool. Here I was fully dressed as a girl and my mother was accepting it. I was in the bathroom touching up my lipstick when mom looked in. "Well, if I didn’t know better, I’d think I had another daughter. You do that just like a girl."

I couldn’t help smiling. "If I'm dressed like a girl, I might as well act like a girl."

Dinnertime found me talking to mom again. "Well, I can’t get over just how much you look like a girl. If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were a girl.” I really liked mom knowing I was wearing a dress. I didn’t feel so rushed to leave. I could spend more time at home and get things done right. I didn’t have to worry about what would happen if mom suddenly needed me in the middle of the day.

That evening I put on the night gown and help mom get into bed. She stretched up and kissed my forehead. I stopped and looked at her. She smiled. "I always used to kiss your sister like that. As a boy, you objected when I wanted to kiss you. I just thought as a girl, you might not mind.” I smiled and laughed.

When I woke up, I put on the wig and went to fix breakfast. As we were eating mom looked at me thoughtfully. "Well, now that you’ve spent your 24 hours as a girl, what do you think?"

"It was neat. I mean, I think I have a better understanding of girls now. Michelle and Marcie treated me just like a girl. You even treated me like a girl last night. It is an enlightening experience. I liked it."

I washed the dishes and helped mom do some things. I was stalling. I didn’t have an excuse to put on the dress. Oh, I could slip on some jeans and a shirt and go over to Michelle's and put on another dress, but I’d have to sneak about it. Right now, in this moment, I could be open about it.

Mom went back to bed, to rest about 10:00. I went to my room and put on the slip. I put on my jeans and shirt over it and gathered up the rest of Michelle's clothes. I went straight to her bedroom and put on another dress. I began the regular routine that had been the norm before. Things were status quo for about a week and I forgot to take off my lipstick again. Mom of course noticed. But she didn’t say anything until bedtime.

"Larry, you did it again didn’t you?"

"Ah, did what?"

"Pretended to be a girl over a Michelle's today."

"Well, yeah, I guess I did."

"How come?"

"Well, they like to talk about it. Ever since I spent the 24 hours as a girl, they keep saying I should do it again. Michelle says I’m more fun to be around when I pretend to be a girl. She keeps daring me to do it for a week straight."

"A week straight? How would you do that?"

"Michelle would give me a seven day supply of clothes I would bring over and put in my closet. And I would just put on a dress everyday."

"What do you think Mrs. Learner would say about that?"

"I don’t know, I think she would be OK with it."

"Why do you say that?"

"Well, when I do it Mrs. Learner really raves about how good I look. She keeps threatening to take me to the mall or the store or a movie or something. She said I am a nicer girl then I am a boy."

"So when do you start your week?"

"Well, tomorrow is Sunday."

That evening, I brought seven dresses, seven pairs of socks and three pair of shoes. Mom just shook her head. I put on the nightgown and wig before I helped mom get ready for bed. Each morning I put on a dress and the wig and lipstick before starting breakfast. By Wednesday, mom kind of got used to it and quit making comments. None of them were derogatory or anything. Just things like, "You certainly do that just like a girl. Have you been practicing?" or "I never thought you’d make such a good looking girl.” Then there was, "You know, I could get to like you in a dress, what with the way you take care of the house when you’re dressed like that.” It was true. When I could dress-up freely around mom, I spent more time in the house and did more cleaning.

On Thursday Mrs. Learner did it she took us to a movie as soon as I was through with fixing lunch. I was scared to death, but it was thrilling. I had never gone out of the house in a dress before. Being with three other women was perfect cover. We got back just in time for me to make dinner.

"Well, you did it. How did it go? Did anybody look at you strangely?"

"No, it was cool. I just walked right in with them and bought popcorn and everything." I bubbled. I couldn’t contain my excitement.

"You sound like you really like going out as a girl."

"Oh mom, you have no idea how cool it is. I’ve never done anything that’s as much fun. It’s like I have the best secret and I’m the only one who knows."

On Friday I did the wash. I hung the dresses back in my closet. Saturday Mrs. Learner took us to the mall. We all tried on dresses, even though we didn’t intend to buy any. That was really cool.

On Sunday, I put on a dress just like I had the week before. I kept it up through the Wednesday. Mom didn’t say anything until that evening when I was helping her get ready for bed. "You’ve kind of stretched a week haven’t you?"

"Oh yeah. I did, didn’t I? I just kind of fell into a routine."

"How long do you plan to keep dressing like a girl?"

"I don’t know. It just feels so good to do it."

She stretched up and kissed my forehead again. "Good night Linda, I’ll see you in the morning."

"Linda?"

"Yeah, that’s what I would have named you if you had been a girl. I just thought if you’re going to dress like a girl, I should call you by your girl’s name."

"Linda, I think I like it. Goodnight mom."

In the morning, mom came out as I was fixing breakfast. I was still in my nightgown. "How’s my girl this morning?"

"Fine mom. How are you?"

"Good, better then I’ve been for a long time. My sweet Linda must be a good nurse."

I sat at the table and talked with mom. I talked in a way I could never have done as Larry. About 10:00 Michelle knocked on the door. "Who is it?" mom called.

"It’s Michelle."

"Come on in."

"Hi," Michelle said as she came. "Mom’s going to take us to the Pike this afternoon; she wanted to know if you’d like to come along."

"Can I go mom?"

"If you want to Linda."

"Linda?" asked Michelle

"Linda is what I would have named him if he had been a girl."

"Well, Linda, do you want to come?"

"Oh yeah."

"The only problem, is we will be leaving in an hour, so maybe you’d better make a cold lunch for you mother."

"I feel pretty good today. If your mother has room for my wheel chair in the trunk, maybe I’ll come along," Mom said.

"OK, I’ll let you know if there’s any problem," she said leaving.

"Well Linda, you’d better get dressed. Why don’t you wear that pretty yellow print dress with the full skirt? I think it looks good on you."

I couldn’t believe my ears. Mom told me to put on a dress. I didn’t have to be told twice. I put on the very dress that she suggested. I was even more surprised that mom suggested the yellow dress. Of all the dresses I had worn for her, it was the most feminine. Not only that, but it was a real lightweight material and was the shortest. It stopped a good four inches above my knee. In the right light, you could see the slip under it. I chose a pair of yellow sandals to wear with it. Mom opened a jewelry box and got out a locket on a chain and put it around my neck. "I always meant to give this to your sister, I guess you might as well have it now," she said.

We had a great time. The girls and I went on a ton of rides. We had lunch and after we went for a walk down the boardwalk. We got home really late. We went potluck for dinner. We all went over the day and remembered all the fun. After that, I never wore pants for the rest of the summer.

It turns out the Phil died of a reaction to penicillin while in jail. Mom was better come September so I went back home, but every year at the end of school, Linda came to say with mom for the summer.

— Finis —

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Comments

Some of my early work.

Patricia Marie Allen's picture

This is some of my early work. While it has been edited for typos, grammar and punctuation, it is essentially the same as when I first wrote it.

Hugs
Patricia

Happiness is being all dressed up and HAVING some place to go.
Semper in femineo gerunt

it's nice

to see you posting some of these treasure's. And I can even translate the Latin, even if I took it back in 196#. Cute

Thank you!

Andrea Lena's picture

Dinnertime found me talking to mom again. "Well, I can’t get over just how much you look like a girl. If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were a girl.” I really liked mom knowing I was wearing a dress. I didn’t feel so rushed to leave. I could spend more time at home and get things done right. I didn’t have to worry about what would happen if mom suddenly needed me in the middle of the day.

What a relief and what a joy, aye?

  

To be alive is to be vulnerable. Madeleine L'Engle
Love, Andrea Lena

Lisa's Dream

did come true in a most marvelous way.

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine

I

know if i was in larry/linda's shoes once i got started with wearing girls clothes there would have been no stopping me...thank you for such a lovely story