Alexis is unable to express his gender identity to Mom until a visit to a very special dress shop sends an unmistakable message.

Note: This is an edited and updated version of a story previously posted on Fictionmania. I have been working on some additional stand-alone short stories that also involve the Teen Girl Dress Shop.

*****************

The sun filtered through the curtains as Alexis sleepily tried to remember last night’s dream. A nervous girl was standing on a balcony modeling a formal evening gown at some fashion show or beauty pageant. She was gracefully posing as the girls in the audience offered approving encouragement, saying things like “lovely” and “you are one of us now.” With a carefully practiced gesture she brought her softly curved fingers up to her scooped neckline while the other hand lifted the edge of the dress. As she turned and started to walk down the stairs Mother appeared in the crowd looking upset. Suddenly the top step collapsed leading to a tumbling fall, down, down, ... and awake.

Alexis stretched in bed, the dream faded, but the feeling of being that girl did not. The bedroom was decorated in a contemporary, but gender-neutral style. A football-themed wallpaper design showed faintly under the pale reddish-brown paint. Alexis had insisted on painting over the wallpaper, and the chosen color was the closest to pink that Mom had been willing to buy. When given a choice, Alexis favored unisex options. After the paint job, Mother had reluctantly gone along with a subtle floral print for the matching bedspread and curtains. On the wall was a collage with pictures of teen-girl movie stars and singers. Alexis thought of these girls as role models and viewed them with envious admiration.

For months Alexis had wanted to talk with Mom about these dreams and his feelings. Beth Evans was both a successful research scientist with a techno-geek personality, and a struggling single mother with limited parenting skills. Beth’s way of asserting that a modern woman could both intellectual and feminine was to combine her career with a passion for music, dance, and fashion. Alexis often went to trendy stores and to arts performances with her. He treasured these experiences, but Beth agonized over whether she was doing a proper job of raising a son. For parenting advice she relied on her sister, Aunt Alexandria, who was an elegant lady and loved all five syllables of her name. Only her closest relatives could get away with calling her Sandy. She had a degree in psychology, worked as a school counselor, and had two daughters bracketing Alexis in age.

Alexis suspected Mom would accept him no matter what identity he expressed, but was never sure. She liked talking about abstractions like news and fashion, but verbalizing personal thoughts totally confounded her. Regarding awkward topics, Mom could comfortably communicate only through actions and gifts.

Mother-son communication about growing up had always been especially difficult.
Alexis’s maternal grandfather had frequently been recruited to talk about boy things. Mom’s typical way of implying that he should become more masculine was to drop him off at grandfather’s house just when a televised football game was starting. Grandpa seemed to have old-fashioned values where everything was as it was supposed to be, even if the suppositions existed only in his memories. His conversations with Alexis were always friendly, but sometimes uncomfortable for both.

A few months ago a book on changes during male puberty suddenly appeared in his room. Mom never said a word; she just left the book where he would find it. Probably wants me to talk with Grandpa about that too, thought Alexis.

As he had done many times before, Alexis resolved that today he would finally get Mom to understand what he felt inside. Since she best communicated using hints, he had been dropping hints too. Maybe, just maybe, if he kept dropping hints she would eventually guess enough to open the conversation herself. His greatest fear was what would happen if she disapproved, like in the dream. What would she really do in response? Crashing down stairs seemed insignificant compared to risks of committing to the truth. Letting Mom speak first seemed much safer, that way he would have a chance to see her attitude before making an irrevocable comment himself.

He had already dropped many hints. Last week the glossy local lifestyle magazine, Valley People & Places, published a story about a crossdressing boy being prohibited from attending a church-run middle school. Alexis had left the magazine on the kitchen table with the story headline and a glamorous photo of the expelled student in full view. After a few days Alexis found that the magazine had been picked up and piled with other back issues on the corner shelf. When the hint was indirect, Beth’s geek personality seemed to leave her oblivious to the message. But, whenever Alexis attempted to be more explicit he always ended up pulling back from the brink, unsure of what would happen.

Through the closed door he could hear that Mother was chatting on the phone. She had a tendency to assume that if she could not see someone then they could not hear her either. This habit had often proven useful to Alexis. Even though he could only hear one side of the conversation he quickly knew that she was talking to Aunt Alexandria.

“Do you really think that is what he wants?” ... “He has such unusual interests for a boy.” ... “I really have never found a way to ask.” ... “So, you think I need to let him explore this for himself?” ... “And don’t push him? ... “Yes, family support is really important.”.... “That’s a great idea.” ... “Yes, I will be supportive.”

Beth changed the topic as soon as Alexis opened his bedroom door and headed for the bathroom. Why do they always seem to be talking about me when they think I am not around? From the sound of the conversation it seemed that Mom might be getting the idea, but then maybe not. She could be talking about anything. He had thought about dropping some hints on Aunt Alexandria too, but decided that could only increase his risk. She usually acted very intellectual and formal, and was very progressive in her social attitudes, but maybe she had strict ideas about gender. Alexis could imagine Aunt Alexandria using her psychology contacts to get him into some treatment school before he embarrassed the family. He did his business, wiped, and washed up. He recalled hearing Mom tell her friends how he was such a gentleman, always putting the toilet seat back down. Apparently she didn’t realize he no longer lifted it up. Thinking about this boy-girl difference reminded Alexis of Grandpa’s clumsy attempts to initiate a birds and bees conversation. That had been like really awkward. Alexis headed back to the kitchen.

“Good morning, dear, sleep well? Breakfast is on the counter.”

Alexis put some cereal and yogurt in a bowl, poured a glass of milk, eased himself onto a stool, crossed his ankles, and started to nibble. He was still wearing the oversize pale blue tee shirt he usually slept in. It was almost a nightgown, but still something that a boy could wear it without comment. He was trying to diet and keep a slender build as long as possible. Puberty was not something to look forward to. He had seen the diagrams in the book and had to watch videos in health class: beards, hairy chest, bulky muscles. Yuck.

Alexis gathered his thoughts. Weekend breakfast together seemed as good a time as any to have a serious talk with Mom. He rehearsed the key lines in his mind one more time. Build slowly, and back off if things went astray. The opening was going to be to ask Mom what she knew about boys who felt they should be girls. If her reaction became hostile he would be able to fend it off by saying he saw the article in the lifestyle magazine last week and was just concerned about anyone being harassed. If she sounded sympathetic he would say he often had some uncomfortable feelings. Just give a first hint that he might have a personal interest in gender issues, then reassess the situation before continuing with the mental script.

Take a deep breath, get ready, here goes. “Mom, there’s something from last week I need to ask you about.”

“Yes, but make it quick. I need to clean up and get going soon. Busy day.”

Once again Mother was preoccupied and apparently clueless. This was not the time to start a deep conversation. “Uhh, ... maybe we could start buying low-fat yogurt?”

“I suppose. But, it wouldn’t hurt you one bit to gain a little weight. Anything else?” she asked as the phone rang again.

“Hello.” ... “Hi Sandy.” ... “Thanks for calling back.” ... When did you say the sportswear sale was?” ... “ Only today. Which store?” ... “The one at Fashion Towne Mall?” ... “It’s a long drive, but probably worth it.” ... “Yes, maybe this afternoon. Thanks. Bye.”

Alexis tried to listen while acting like he was focused on the cereal bowl. Fashion Towne Mall? That mall was in a suburb way across the valley, and he had been trying to figure out how to get mother to drive him there ever since he had learned on the internet about a certain shop at Fashion Towne. Soon after getting his own computer in his room he had managed to hack through relatively weak parental controls and create a private login. Soon, he was typing in search words that he could never bring himself to say aloud to any of the adults in his life. Searches lead to hyperlinks that lead to new sites. Some were disgusting, but others contained the information he craved. Eventually he found a marvelous teen support site with where other boys (and apparently some genetic girls) were also in various stages of gender confusion and resolution. Besides the moderator postings, everyone was asking questions and sharing advice thorough message boards, chat rooms, and private messaging. He had encountered someone with the screen name BIM.

‘A/S/L?’
‘16 / transitioning / West Mountain’
‘BIM stands for?’
‘Boy In Miniskirts!’

Awesome, a boy only a few years older who was openly dressing as a girl, and lived in the same metropolitan area. They had frequent exchanges about local places, schools, support organizations, and current events while staying within the ‘no personally identifying information’ rules of the site. BIM told Alexis how to find things he had long wanted to know about, and could explore from the anonymous safety of the internet. BIM, and others, kept encouraging him to come out openly to Mother. But through the site Alexis also heard harrowing tales of gender-variant boys being grounded, military academy-style camps that tried to toughen boys up, and religion-based therapy groups that claimed to change gays into real men. Those real-life stories made dreams of falling down stairs seem minor by comparison.

BIM had told Alexis that he needed to find a way to visit the Teen Girl Dress Shop at Fashion Towne Mall. This supposedly was a place that could help Alexis communicate with Mom. “The sooner the better,” was BIM’s frequent remark.

‘U need to get to the store and walk in’
‘What then’
‘Tell sales girl you like pink ;)
‘she will know how to help U’
‘How?’
‘Show ur mom what ur afraid to say’
‘Afraid of Moms reaction’
‘U said U wanted to drop hints’
‘Big risk’
‘What do u have to loose?’
‘What if she makes a scene?’
‘Won’t in public. IMHO store owner knows how to handle’
‘Catch hell at home’
‘Not 2 B urself is hell 2’

Week after week BIM had been encouraging him. Alexis’s problem was getting mother to drive him to Fashion Towne, then getting her to follow him into the store. Today sounded like his first chance, and maybe the only chance for a long while. Looking up from his breakfast Alexis asked, “Who called?”

“Aunt Sandy. I’m going shopping today, OK”

“Coming with you.”

“Well, OK. Get ready”

Alexis raced upstairs and rummaged through his clothes. What to wear to the mall was always a challenge, but especially today. A pair of slim-cut jeans, stylish belt, a bright pullover top, and aerobics shoes seemed to work. These were boy clothes, but not masculine. He followed Mom into the garage and jumped into the car.

“Are you sure you want to go shopping with me again?”

“Yes.”

“All I was planning to do at Fashion Towne was to look at the women’s sportswear that is on sale, and maybe shop for a few accessories.”

“We don’t go to Fashion Towne very often. I’ll just follow you around. It’s fun watching you shop.” Alexis paused. “Maybe we can wander a bit after. See what’s new on the east side of the mall.” He planned to steer Mom down the east wing of the mall, get her in front of the Teen Girl Dress Shop, then suddenly go in, assuming she would follow. Risky, but he had promised BIM he would give it a try. He hoped that BIM’s advice was right; entering the store with Mom was going to work wonders. But what would he say to Mom if she objected? This seemed more complicated than a chess game. Every move on his part would open up more possibilities for her reaction. It could get out of control, but he remembered his morning resolution to finally communicate to Mom, somehow, anyhow.

“Dear, it’s nice that you are always willing to go shopping with me. But, I worry. How many other boys your age want to go fashion shopping with their mothers? You really need more time with Grandpa. How about if we swing by his place first? Pick you up on the way back.”

Alexis panicked. This would ruin his chance to get to Fashion Towne. “My birthday is coming up. Maybe I can look for something new and different.” He was becoming a master at true statements that had double meanings.

“Well, OK. I’ll do my shopping, then we can walk around.”

They said little the rest of the drive. Alexis continued to focus on his plans, and he suspected Mom was lost in her own thoughts, as usual. Beth parked and they strolled into the anchor department store. They paused only briefly to look at the jewelry and cosmetics right in front of the entrance. Beth’s destination was women’s sportswear and casuals section.

“We won’t take too long. You know I always enjoy looking for bargains even when I keep my pocket book shut.”

“Take as long as you want.” Normally all day wouldn’t be long enough for Alexis to do his fantasy shopping following Mom through her favorite stores. Today, he needed to stay focused on the goal. He watched Mom pick two summer tops and a skirt before heading for the forbidden territory of the changing rooms.

Alexis eased himself onto one of the chairs outside the changing room. Usually he had to share the space with obviously bored husbands or boyfriends, or worse with fidgety little kids. Today he was alone and could imagine he was shopping here too. As usual, he rushed over as he saw her coming back. “Are you getting anything, Mom? That pink blouse really looks neat. It would work with lots of your other summer clothes. It’s fun to watch you make well-coordinated combinations.”

“No, I really don’t need any of these. But, thank you for your compliments. Dear, I worry about you. You have no interest in rough play or action video games, but such an adorable interest in music, dance. And you seem to know so much about women’s clothes. Maybe it would have been better if you had been born a g....”

“What, Mom?” Maybe this was an unexpected opening. It seemed that Mom had almost said it.

“Oh, nothing. You know. Aunt Alexandria always tells me I need to be supportive and let you explore for yourself.”

Alexis figured his aunt’s advice to Mom could only help. Support and explore where important words. “Mom, if you aren’t getting anything here, lets wander around a bit.”

“OK, where?”

“Nowhere in particular, just looking.”

She paused as Alexis marched past the men and boys’ section of the department store. “How about here?”

Alexis knew that would only waste time. “Nothing interesting,” he said leading the way out into the main mall and turned toward the east wing.

“Were those clothes too drab for you?”

Drab. That’s the idea, thought Alexis. Maybe she finally suspects what I really want to wear and is testing me. “Drab colors, drab styles.”

“Strange attitude from you.”

They marched past shop after shop until Alexis finally saw the sign ahead. Teen Girl Dress Shop was in frilly letters in rainbow-themed colors. As they approached he noticed three tough-looking guys hanging out directly across from the dress shop entrance. They were slouched against the wall and created an image that was a mix of motorcycle gang and punk rock band. Alexis halted in front of the scrap booking store next door, listening while pretending to be window shopping.

“Did that sissy come by yet?”

“Terry? No, I think he knows we are watching for him and is hiding.”

“He sneaks in here on Saturdays.”

These guys were bad news. If their intended victim was not available then any other boy going into a dress shop would be an equally good target. Dealing with Mom was going to be challenge enough without jeers and catcalls from these troublemakers. The guys’ conversation did one thing, it reassured him that BIM was had been telling the truth. Other boys apparently shopped here.

“Look, I haven’t all day just to harass some panty-waist.

“Let’s hang out 10 more minutes.”

“Yeh. We’ll find him soon enough.”

Ten minutes thought Alexis. How can I stall that long? If he wandered farther down the east wing then Mom might want to take a short cut through the parking lot to get back to the car. If he turned around he would never get her back into the east wing of the mall today. Maybe he should go into the scrapbooking store as a diversion. It seemed risky to stay too long in front where he was stalling. If those guys bothered to look at him they probably would remark about his tight jeans and fancy belt. His outfit certainly would invite comments from anyone inclined to harass effeminate boys.

“Alexis, do you want to get some lunch then head to the car?”

“Not hungry, just want to window shop a bit, Mom.”

“I didn’t know you were interested in scrap booking. I hear it can be a fun hobby.”

“I guess so. Don’t know much about it.” Just then Alexis noticed a tall woman come out from the Teen Girl Dress Shop. Her bold name tag read ‘Ann Mitchell, Owner.’ She was staring directly at the three boys while talking on her cell phone.

“Look, mall security is coming. That bitch called them.”

“Let’s go before they kick us out.”

Alexis watched the boys dash down the mall and disappear into the food court. Just ten more steps then I will finally be at the dress shop, he thought. “Come on Mom, let’s keep looking.” His heart was racing, and he was struggling to maintain a calm, non-committal manner. Without saying anything he paused, turned, and started into the dress shop.

“Where are you going? I don’t think this place will have anything for me, dear.”

“M- Mom, c-can we please just take a quick look?”

“But, why would you ever want to go in there? Let’s go look somewhere else where they might have something for you.”

Desperate, Alexis pleaded, “Will you be supportive? Let me explore a bit.” He hoped the paraphrase of Aunt Alexandra’s advice would get through.

Beth paused for what seemed an eternity, then gently smiled. “Well, I guess so. I can’t imagine what you think you will find here. Just don’t waste too much time.”

This answer seemed midway between totally oblivious and mild acceptance. “Thanks, Mom.” As he crossed the threshold Alexis suddenly realized that he had not properly planned his next steps. BIM had not been specific about what was supposed to happen at the dress shop, and all of Alexis’s focus had been on getting Mom this far.

Mom paused at the front display table, and Alexis began to walk slowly down the aisle gently touching the merchandise, feeling the delicate textures, and looking at the exciting colors. Shopping for boys’ clothes was never like this. Mother was watching him carefully. He also became aware that the store owner and a younger girl were watching him from behind the cash register counter.

“That boy looks like he’s one,” Ann remarked to her daughter.

“Yes, I’m sure he is.” The girl was in her mid-teen and always came to work in stylish clothes selected to motivate customers by holding out the hope of being able to look equally fabulous. “He dragged his mother into here, not the other way around.”

“He’s nervous.”

“Yes, but also fascinated.”

“I bet he is sweating and completely tongue-tied.”

“They usually are on the first visit.”

“Well, let’s do our thing.”

“Always love to help out a new customer.”

The two started moving through the store like a pair of lionesses on the hunt, preparing to separate the target from the herd. In a flash Ann positioned herself next to Beth as her daughter slipped up behind Alexis. “Hello, my name is Brianna Isabella. May I help you?”

Alexis nearly panicked, but recovered. He turned to look at an attractive girl a few years his senior. She was stunningly beautiful. Her makeup was dramatic, but not overdone: translucent skin, accented eyebrows, long lashes, bright lipstick, matching nails. Wavy brown hair with blond highlights cascaded past her shoulders, and a stylish headband kept it pulled back from her face. She was wearing a maroon sleeveless top with a plunging neckline that revealed a hint of a lacy bra supporting well-developed cleavage. Her short skirt and high heels accented her fashion-model figure and shapely legs. She smiled and waited for Alexis to finish checking her out.

Talking to sales personnel in a dress shop was not something he had practiced. Even when shopping with Mom he said little to the staff. Alexis wanted to turn and run, but this would ruin everything. Worse, running would call attention to himself in public. What if those tough guys returned and saw him racing out of a dress shop? Besides, Brianna was blocking the way to the exit, and Ann had Mom cut off from helping him, even if she realized she was needed.

Alexis felt his face flush. He tried to calm down and repeated BIM’s assurances that things would work out for the best once he got inside the shop.

Brianna leaned close to Alexis. He smelled her sweet perfume as she put her hand on his shoulder. “It’s OK. Why are your hands shaking? Don’t be scared. Other boys shop here too.”

Alexis struggled to remember what BIM had told him was the secret password. “I, I like ... pink,” he whispered.

Brianna smiled. “OK, now I know why you are here. You’ll have a great time today. Let’s go where we can talk.” As she took his hand, Alexis realized he had little choice but to follow. He noticed her bright, well-shaped nails, and enjoyed the cool, calming touch of her fingers.

He had let himself be convinced by internet chat that visiting here was going to do magic for communicating with Mom, but what was Brianna going to do with him now. “This is my first time.”

“I thought so. Don’t worry. I know what I am doing, and I think your coming here is awesome.”

“Really.”

“Tell me the truth, are you interested in girl things? Maybe wish you were a real girl?”

“Y- yes”

“How much does your mother know?

“I’ve never been able to tell her anything.”

“Your coming here will speak for you.”

“How do you know?”

“You’re not the first boy we’ve helped. What’s your name? You were too shocked to tell me.”

“Alexis.”

“Charming. It’s a name that can be either boy or girl. Very lucky.”

Alexis had never been sure why he had been given that name. In public situations, like school role call, he found it embarrassing when the name caused someone to expect a girl then see a boy. But he was also thrilled to see occasional advertising in the mailbox addressed to Miss Alexis Evans. “It’s an OK name.”

“Silly, it’s a really pretty name. Fits you. Speaking of fit, let’s find something that you might like.”

Alexis again got a sinking feeling in his stomach. This was way more than he had planned. He had not anticipated anything beyond browsing in the shop for a few minutes and then somehow expecting something to happen that would open a conversation with Mom. Shopping for himself? BIM never said what would happen.

Brianna started to pick outfits from the rack and show them to Alexis, explaining details and features as she went. At first she just displayed the dresses in midair as she bubbled with enthusiasm. “Act natural. Play along.” After a while she noticed Alexis becoming more comfortable with the situation. “Just your size,” she said as she spun Alexis toward the mirror and momentarily held a dress up in front of him.

As he looked at the mirror he gasped. A group of teen girls were walking into the shop behind him. They looked like the popular crowd from one of the local high schools, the queen bees that strutted their stuff and intimidated everyone else. They all were fashionably dressed in designer jeans and fancy tops that highlighted their figures without being slutty. Hair and makeup were flawless. Earrings and necklaces flashed as they walked. First it was the tough guys, and now he was going to get teased by the mean girls. “I’m getting uneasy about doing this,” gasped Alexis. As soon as the words were out he realized that he had made a mistake. Asking Brianna to stop was going to ruin everything.

“Those girls?” responded Brianna as she put the dress down on top of the rack. She glanced over her shoulder then turned back to Alexis with a twinkle in her eye. “Alexis, you have nothing to worry about. That crowd comes in here all the time. They are not going to think you are weird. Tell you a secret. One of those beautiful girls is biologically a boy, and all the others are totally OK with it.”

Alexis kept his back to the girls and stared into the mirror. It did not seem possible. They all acted like typical in-crowd girls, giggling, posing, and preening their hair as they waltzed thorough the store. He had read many internet discussions about passing so he tried to see if he could figure out which one was the boy. Maybe the tallest one, with the tight spandex shirt, skinny jeans and high boots? No, those pants would make a bulge obvious, and she was showing curves everywhere else. How about the one wearing heavy eye makeup? Was she hiding something behind all the cosmetics? Not likely, her hands looked too tiny and delicate. The one with the brown curls and frilly bohemian-style outfit? Possible, that outfit could hide almost any figure underneath, but then she also seemed to be showing real cleavage. Alexis kept wondering as Brianna walked over to the girls as chatted. Eventually she gave a package from behind the counter to a really attractive short girl with a blonde ponytail. As the girls continued to browse Brianna headed back to Alexis. “She had to pick up a back order. A little something to make her front look smooth under tight clothes.”

As the girls started to head out of the dress shop Brianna smiled at Alexis. “So, are you ready to try on some girl’s clothes now?”

Alexis was aware that Mom was still being detained by the store owner while Brianna had him under her control. Wearing a pretty dress was something Alexis had fantasized about, but he also had read online fiction about crossdressers being caught with the consequences. “Try - something - on,” he said slowly.

“Why not? I know it is something you really really want to do,” Brianna said in a reassuring voice. “This is a safe place to explore.”

“I’m not sure my mother would allow that.”

“My mom and I will handle her.”

Brianna led Alexis over to Beth and Ann. “Your son obviously is curious, and I hope you will let him explore and discover a bit today.”

Ann picked up the conversation, “Lots of boys with special interests shop here. It really is OK Ms. Evans.”

“Let’s go look,” continued Brianna as she pulled Alexis back to where she had been showing him dresses when the queen bee crowd came in.

Ann gave Beth a firm but friendly push and indicated they should follow. She continued, “Although we call ourselves the Teen Girl Dress Shop we actually carry a lot of very stylish clothes for girls that have not yet developed.”

“Athletic girls and dancers who keep their weight down often develop several years later than some of their classmates. If a girl is tall or still has pre-teen figure we think she should still be able to look good in a dress,” Brianna added.

“Girls with boyish figures often look best in high-necked tops that bunch at the neck and bust. They give the appearance of a fuller chest. Tasteful front pleats or frills also help give a soft feminine look.”

Alexis tried to gather his thoughts. Like experienced experts Brianna and Ann took turns. They would drop an idea, watch for the response in attitude or body language, then adjust the conversation accordingly.

Mom clearly was not enthusiastic, but Alexis was becoming intrigued by where this was all going. He started giving increasingly affirmative responses to the fashion chatter. This was not how he expected to initiate a conversation with Mom, but it seemed like he better to play along.

“If you want to add more volume up top, look for something like this one. Empire style dresses are a great design that always makes the breasts appear fuller.”

“Empire style?” asked Alexis.

Brianna and her mother continued gushing with advice. “Luckily for you most of these dresses that are designed for girls with smaller busts actually hang better on a boy!”

“Did you tell me that boys shop here?” asked Beth finally.

“Yes, all the time. You would be amazed how many teen boys have an interest in feminine things,” replied Ann.

“Being a girl is such fun. I love sharing the experience.” Brianna became more assertive. “This rack has some of the neatest dresses for you, Alexis.”

Alexis stepped decisively along side of Brianna, “You mean it?”

“Any of these would be great for your body shape as they are not clingy and won’t show your boyish frame off underneath.” Brianna held up a simple black dress with a modest neckline fringed with lace. “A basic black dress is the foundation of every feminine wardrobe.” She held the dress up against Alexis’s body while placing her other hand gently on his shoulder. “Take a look in the mirror.”

Beth and Ann were following behind. Beth’s hands and face were tense and she was biting her lower lip. “Remember what I told you,” Ann urged.

Alexis grasped a dress hanger to his chest. “P- p- please Mom, may I?” Finally, he had said it.

“I don’t know what to think. But, if that’s what you want,” Beth paused, “I’ll be supportive, dear.”

The floor had not collapsed. Mom seemed to approve. Alexis was trembling as Brianna led him back toward the fitting rooms. “Take it easy. I told you it would be OK.”

Alexis closed the booth door and started taking off his clothes. His white cotton sleeveless undershirt and jockey briefs seemed totally inappropriate, but they were all he had. He pulled the dress over his head and struggled with the buttons. He hesitated. Was he ready to model the dress for Ann, Brianna, and most importantly, Mom? His bad dreams came back to him. Better to take it off now. This had already gone way to far already. But, Mom had just said she would be supportive and called him dear. Maybe it was OK. He took a deep breath, opened the fitting room door and walked toward the three-sided mirror at the end of the hallway. At least he would be out of sight if anyone else came into the store.

“Marvelous.”

“It’s so you.”

He realized Ann and Brianna were behind him making compliments while Mom was standing stiffly off to the side. He turned and looked directly into his mother’s eyes. Words froze in his throat.

Brianna gently put her hand on Beth’s arm. “It makes him so very happy. You really should buy it.”

“Yes, he is telling you something,” Ann continued. “You need to be supportive.”

Beth hesitated, glancing at each in turn. “Alexis, I don’t understand all this, but it is clearly important to you. I can get you that dress as an early birthday present.”

This was unbelievable. “Please,” he said anxiously.

Alexis felt drained. Mom handed the credit card to Brianna as Ann pulled her aside. So much had happened so fast. “Thanks, Mom. Thanks Brianna,” was all he could say.

Brianna put the dress into a bag with the store logo printed on it then started scribbling on a piece of pink notepaper. “A private message for you,” Brianna said with a coy smile as she folded the paper and slipped it into the bag.

Ann Mitchell was still talking to Beth. “This has been a big change for both of you.”

“I guess so,” Beth replied nervously as Ann handed her a small pamphlet.

“Check out some of these support groups.”

“I will. My sister has been telling me to be supportive.”

Alexis kept looking straight ahead as they exited the shop and headed for the car. Was Mom really OK with his getting a dress? What would she say once they were in private? Maybe she just did not want to embarrass everyone in public.

Beth also avoided eye contact on the way to the car. This was certainly not what she had expected when Alexis said he wanted to go to the mall this morning. “Dear, it looks like it’s time we had a serious talk,” she said as they speeded down the road. “You are approaching the age where parents need to give children ‘The Talk” and I was planning to have Grandpa do it. But now things have changed. I really need advice from Alexandria. She has experience with daughters. What did I just say?” She sighed, “no matter what you wear, I love you.”

They got home. Alexis grabbed the shopping bag, dashed into his room, closed the door, and collapsed. After a while he realized that Mom was again on the phone talking to Aunt Sandy. He moved closer to the door where he could hear better.

“ I couldn’t believe what he did.” ... “Yes, it actually looked good on him.” ... “I didn’t know how else to be supportive.” ... “What do you mean?” ... “Did you say some girl time talking with his cousins would help?” ... “I know that sounds silly.” ... “When we have a talk I can ask if he wants to see a gender specialist.” ... “What was the name of that book again?” ... “OK, ‘The Transgender Child’ I’ll order it.” ... “Sandy, you have been so much help.”

As the sun set the reality of the day started to sink in. No more making resolutions then backing off. But, now he would have to deal with a greatly changed relationship with Mom. Her ‘no matter what, I love you’ comment made him feel safe. He glanced at the shopping bag on his bed. Yes, the note from Brianna. Unfolding it he saw that there was a phone number above a flowery signature and a smiley face. He fumbled for his cell phone and dialed.

“Hello, Brianna speaking.”

“Hi, this is Alexis.”

“I figured you would call. How was your ride home?”

“I was scared, Mom didn’t say much. Just that she loved me no matter what.”

“Marvelous, you did it. After all these months that you have been agonizing.”

“What do you mean all these months? We just met today.”

“Silly. Think about it -- Brianna Isabella Mitchell.”

“B-I-M. That’s impossible.”

“You got it. So what’s impossible?”

“BIM claimed to be a boy crossdressing in miniskirts.”

“So, was my skirt too long today?”

“You looked like a real girl.”

“I was a boy until I was 12.”

“BIM is sixteen, you looked older”

“OK, I fibbed a year or so off my age.”

“How do you look so totally feminine with real curves?”

“Practice makes perfect, but hormones help.”

“I still think you tricked me online.”

“No, I just use screen names and persona appropriate to the focus of each group I visit. Spend a lot of time in the support group where we met because the issues there are important to me. I knew I could help you communicate what you couldn’t bring yourself to say directly. I just had to get you and your mother into the TG Dress Shop”

“What did you call the shop?”

“Customers like you are a big part of our business. My mother helped me, and now we both enjoy helping other boys get in touch with their feminine side. ”

They continued talking for over an hour. Brianna described how she started to become girl, and what it was like to go through all the transition steps. Alexis could barely process the waves of new information or the flood of emotions. Actions today showed what he had been afraid to tell. The world had not collapsed. He had overheard Mom using the word ‘transgender’ when talking to Aunt Alexandria. Now, I needed to start talking openly about gender identity, he thought. Alexis started to imagine having her first mother-daughter conversation.
The End.