It is a little hard for me to be cheery so early on a Saturday morning when I could be sleeping in, especially when the prospect for the day seems to be shopping again. Little did I know how bad it was going to get. We all get into the car and drive to the mall where we enter the adjacent Bed Bath and Beyond. This is where we ‘get’ to pick out new bedclothes and curtains for our rooms. Bree is ecstatic as she picks out pink, frilly ultra-girly stuff for her room. I try to be more conservative in my approach, since I will have to live with what I get as George if I have to get rid of my old stuff like my clothes. I find some stuff for the bed that is sort of neutral pale purple, although still more feminine than I would normally like, and get some girly pillows and accessories to ultimately satisfy the ‘feminine’ touch to the room.

After we walk around the mall for a while, we go into Pier One and Bree and I both pick out a new vanity and stool for each of our rooms, complete with lighted mirror to do our makeup. Then we are off to lunch. Bree and I are both surprised, however, when a strange girl joins us. Mommy introduces us to her, “Bree and Gwen, I want you to meet Julie. She is finishing up her degree in psychiatry and is going to do a paper on you two…”

The waitress politely interrupts us and we order our lunch. After she leaves, Julie says, “Yes, I was really lucky that your mother called Dr. Greene yesterday to set up an appointment for the two of you. I am interning with her at the moment and needed a project for my paper. Your Mom and she came up with this awesome idea!”

Mommy smiles and says, “Yes, girls. In between shopping yesterday, I had some time to make a few calls. Cindy Greene is a good friend of mine and a psychologist that is associated with my clinic. Things are really backed up right now to get you into therapy with her, so she proposed the idea that you be Julie’s project under her supervision.”

The waitress brings our salad and Mommy continues after she leaves, “I also talked to Principal Kline at your school and we both agree that it would best for you not to return there as Bree and Gwen, since that will likely cause a lot of issues that none of us are prepared to deal with at the moment. She suggested that we enroll you at St. Mary’s. I talked to Sister Schubert and she is agreeable to take you on after Christmas break to allow you some time to acclimate to being girls, before being enrolled in an all-girls school.”

She takes a few bites of salad before continuing, “Now don’t get too excited, you are not going to just miss several weeks of school. As part of Julie’s project, she will be your tutor for home-schooling during the day and will have a better chance to get to know you and follow your progress. She will also administer several psychiatric tests under Cindy’s supervision…”

The waitress brings our food as I sit there, completely stunned. We are going to St. Mary’s, the all-girls school? This is getting to be more than I bargained for. Bree, on the other hand is, once again, ecstatic and is bubbling all over Julie. I take a bite of my sandwich and think about what I have committed myself to for the next couple of months…

OK, so I get through this ‘home-schooling’ for the next few weeks, answer a bunch of personal questions and then…what? Well, go back to George–but I don’t know if it will be so simple now. I have to fool two shrinks now–three, if I include Dr. Greene…

I sigh and take another bite of my sandwich. Julie notices and asks, “Gwen, is something wrong?” I am taken a bit by surprise, but catch myself in time–before I say something stupid. I look at her sweetly and say, “No, nothing really. I am just looking forward to the change and it seems like such a long road…” She smiles and says, “It will go quicker than you think…”

After we get home, Bree and I have to take our old bed things off our beds and make them with the new stuff. Then we put up our new curtains and carry in our vanities. I set up my makeup on the vanity and look around the room–with all of my ‘George’ stuff gone and with the new ‘Gwen’ bed accessories and curtains, it is definitely more girly. Both rooms are still rather bare, since we don’t have a lot of girl things, other than our clothes, makeup, and the pillows and things in them. I sigh again and sit at the vanity for a few minutes then go downstairs for some sort of distraction.

Julie arrives early Monday morning, right before Mommy leaves for work, and gets a cup of coffee while Bree and I finish breakfast. When we are done and have put away the dishes, she gets out a couple of piles of paper and tells us to answer the questions on them. Sheesh! She just got here and we are already taking a test!

An hour later, Bree and I are done and we hand the tests back to Julie. She smiles and says, “Don’t worry girls, it is just for me to see where you are academically and what we need to work on to get you up to speed for St. Mary’s. They are probably further along in things than your old school. I will look at these tonight and we will get started on lessons tomorrow. Now, I know that you have just taken a school test, but I want you to take this other test as part of my project. Please answer the questions honestly and don’t think about the answers too much, just put down the first answer that feels right, OK?”

Bree smiles and I groan and she hands us the papers. It is another test similar to the COAGTI that we had taken online a few days ago. It asks a lot about our feelings and how we like math and music and stuff like that. Again, because I am already in so deep for now, I try and answer more like I think a girl would and quickly go through the questions. I hand the finished test to Julie and go to get a drink while Bree finishes up.

Julie quickly goes through the answers and has a strange look on her face when scoring one of the tests; I can’t tell which one, though…

After lunch, Julie gives us an essay topic to write about. She wants us to write what we like best about being girls now and why whatever that it is better than it is as a boy. I sit there and wonder what to write. I know that I have to put something down, so I think about the past few weeks…what, if anything do I like about being a ‘girl’?

I know I like the clothes better–they feel much nicer than my boy ones. I have gotten used to wearing the makeup with all of the practicing we have done; I have even sort of have gotten to like wearing it, which is something that boys can’t do… I really like helping to cook–but that is something that boys can do… While I still think the girly movie we watched was sort of lame, I definitely liked being able to show my emotions and not having to ‘be a man’ about my feelings.

So, I just start writing about the freedom that being a girl gives me as far as ‘being myself’. I really do like that aspect and will miss it when I go back to being George. As George, I won’t be able to show my feelings or emotions without being labeled a ‘sissy’ or worse. I decide to just let it out and the words sort of just flow onto the paper…

Julie reads our papers when we are done and she smiles as she reads one and looks a little stunned as she reads the other…she wipes a tear from her eye when she is done. She says, “Well done, girls. I think that is enough for today. Would you like me to help cook something for supper? Your Mom said it is OK for me to stay and eat, if I can help with the cooking. I smile a bright smile and say, “Yes, Julie, I would like to help. Bree isn’t into cooking so much, I think–so she can help clean up when we are done!” Bree laughs and says, “OK, deal. In the meantime, I am going to go read some in my Harlequin romance!”

Julie and I have a fun time making a huge homemade pot pie. I wash and peel the vegetables, then cut them up while we boil a chicken. Then Julie shows me how to make the pie crust from scratch. She says her mother is a great cook and taught her how to do all of this. Soon, we have the pot pie assembled and in the oven.

True to her word, Bree helps clean up the mess and so the kitchen is clean and the table set when Mommy gets home. After we eat, Julie goes into Mommy’s office with her and they talk for quite a while. Then Julie leaves for the night and we all sit down to watch another movie–another romance, of course…

And so, the next weeks go by quickly. Julie sets up a curriculum for us and we split the days between catching up on schoolwork, answering Julie’s project questions, shopping, and cooking. She also helps us with things that we would have learned as girls, but obviously could not have–so that we can fit in better at school. On top of that, she shows us a few craftsy things, like knitting, sewing, and embroidery that Mommy doesn’t have time to.

Because we are being taught in a concentrated ‘one-on-one’ atmosphere, academically we progress quickly and are ready to take the exams that we need to for St. Mary’s a week earlier than planned, which is three weeks before Christmas.

By this point, Bree is a tried-and-true girly-girl. Julie’s and Mommy’s influence on her, both over-the-top girly-girls themselves, is unmistakable. Me, well, I am by no means a girly-girl. But I have noticed that I am much more comfortable in my girl’s skin than I was before–I have even come to like a lot of the things about being Gwen, if not the continual shots and pills. As mentioned, Julie is quite open with us and lets us in on a lot of girl stuff. She is only about ten years older than us and still vividly remembers being in high school.

And Mommy, well, she has a totally different connection to us now. One that I really like. I have no doubt that she loved us as Jeff and George as much as she does Bree and Gwen, but she just is able to be more herself around us as the girls. And she seems relaxed; happy… If I go back to being George, I will miss that…

And that has me thinking about how to start backing out of this now. Julie is gone for the day and will be back tomorrow for her last day of teaching. We will take our ‘finals’ and she will tidy up some things for her project and then we will be on Christmas break.

So, I lay on my bed, still marveling at how much softer things are for girls. I look around my room now, it has small nick-nacks that make it look more like a girl’s room. A doll that Julie gave me, a scarf that I had started knitting and a piece of cross stich embroidery–both of which Julie showed me how to do… A few pictures that I had drawn of some pretty landscapes. A boy-band poster that Mommy got me as a joke…

I think about George–Bree is certainly established now and doesn’t need Gwen to hold onto that. But, what about Gwen? She is a part of me now, too. Do I want to let her go? Can I just let her go? George is almost a distant memory now, but not one I want to forget… While there is a lot to like about being Gwen, there is a lot to be said about being George, too.

I fall asleep mulling all of this over; but without coming up with an answer…

Continued in Part 4.