Operation Rescue: In Plain Sight - Chapter 5

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Operation Rescue: In Plain Sight
Chapter 5
ElrodW

A young man, feeling totally unwanted by his family, runs away. He needs to find a way to survive, and eventually, he stumbles into an Op Rescue clinic.
Paige is making more progress - and with a couple of steps, is gaining confidence. As they say, though - "two steps forward, one step back"

Operation Rescue: In Plain Sight - Prologue
Operation Rescue: In Plain Sight - Chapter 1
Operation Rescue: In Plain Sight - Chapter 2
Operation Rescue: In Plain Sight - Chapter 3
Operation Rescue: In Plain Sight - Chapter 4

[email protected]

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Chapter 5

This story is copyright by the author. It is protected by licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.

Tina smiled as she came into her office. "Let's have a look at how you're doing." She looked at Paige's nose, and chin, and throat from various angles, pressing gently especially on her chin, watching to ensure the girl didn't wince in pain. "Um, hmm," she said as she examined the results of the cosmetic surgery. "As usual, Dr. Patel did an outstanding job."

"Good."

"Do you like the final result?" Tina asked cheerfully.

Paige scowled. "I've seen it every few days when I changed the bandages," she said, not sounding happy, "but it's been still red and swollen. I don't look like I did, but it's not an 'outstanding job', as you said."

Tina chuckled. "You need to see it now that the redness and swelling have gone down and there aren't any bandages in the way." She turned, got a small mirror from a drawer, and handed it to Paige. "See for yourself."

Paige took the mirror, not sure she wanted to look again. When Tina nodded, still smiling, the girl held up the mirror and looked at her reflection. Immediately, her jaw dropped open in surprise. After staring a couple of moments, she turned to Tina for reassurance.

"Yes, that's the new you," Tina beamed. "Like I said, Dr. Patel did an outstanding job."

"I'm ... I don't look anything like I did!" Paige stammered. "I look like a girl!"

"A pretty girl at that," Tina added. "And since everything has healed, you can start wearing makeup again." She noted something that Paige had said. "I bet you haven't really been looking in the mirror while you had the bandages on, have you?"

Paige shook her head. "No, not really."

"If I were you, I'd be spending a _lot_ of time in front of the mirror, admiring the new look."

Tina wasn't exaggerating. Paige's long straight nose, broken by her brother years before, was much shorter, upturned and dainty, with no telltale bulge of the break remaining. Her jaw still hurt from where Dr. Patel had rounded it, making it less sharp and more graceful; the doctor had told her it was like a broken bone, and would ache for a few weeks. The effect, the girl knew, was worth it. Gone was the unsightly bulge of her Adam's apple. Her lips were a little fuller, thanks to a tiny bit of collagen. Finally, her cheeks were a little higher, her cheekbones more defined and much prettier. She could have achieved the look with makeup, Paige knew, but with the implants reshaping her cheekbones, she wouldn't have to rely on makeup quite so much. The areas that had been worked on were still a bit red, but the swelling was gone, and her new face could be seen. "Wow!" Paige mouthed.

"Anupama is quite a surgeon, isn't she?" Tina picked up her computer. "Was it worth it?"

"Yeah," Paige said. Her smile said far more than she ever could have. There was almost no trace of Pete left in her face. "Why are you asking?"

"Good. And you're completely recovered from your pregnancy."

"My ... breasts aren't sore anymore."

"No, they shouldn't have been after the first few days, once your body decided it didn't need to lactate."

"It was ... weird," Paige said in a hushed voice, "having milk come out."

"It's part of the anatomy," Tina said with a smile.

"Maybe someday," Paige said, staring into space vacantly and daydreaming aloud, "I'll have my own baby, and I'll know what it's like to nurse him or her."

"It could happen, if you don't change back." She saw something in Paige's eye. "You _aren't_ changing back, are you?"

Paige shook her head. "Didn't Rachel tell you?"

"No. She only said that you weren't sure what you were going to do."

"I think I've decided," Paige said. "I think Tommi had it right. She said she doesn't regret a minute of what she did. And I think I don't regret any of what I've done, or what I've become. I feel ... free." She laughed. "I know that must sound strange."

**********

Paige walked quickly from the bus stop to one of the classroom buildings. She'd been at the community college for several weeks of classes already, not counting the GED preparation class she'd taken the previous spring before she got her GED. The difference from that experience, though, was that now she was working on a career-based education, not just a high-school diploma equivalent. It made the campus seem less intimidating, a little warmer and friendlier.

The other key difference was that Paige was no longer visibly pregnant. She wasn't looked at askance by the other girls, nor suspiciously or lustfully by the guys. She felt more comfortable, both physically and emotionally. There were a few girls that shared all of her classes; they were also starting toward associate degrees in broadcast communication. Paige was increasingly comfortable with the other girls, and a few of the guys, too. She thought of how far she'd come in the preceding year. At times, she tried to remember exactly what it was like, living in the hut, scratching out a subsistence living. She couldn't remember, though. She'd come too far from that meager existence.

"Hey, wait up," a male voice called from behind her.

Paige turned to see who was calling after her. She recognized Steve Jenkins, one of the guys from her communications classes. "Hi, Steve," she answered pleasantly. She paused a few seconds to let Steve catch up to her.

"Are you ready for the test?" Steve asked as he fell in step beside Paige.

Paige shrugged. "I guess. Studying isn't my best skill."

"You could have fooled me," Steve replied with a grin. "You're always answering in class, and you always seem to be in the middle of discussions."

Paige blushed. "What can I say? I like the subject."

"Your enthusiasm will serve you well when you get an on-air job," Steve complimented.

Paige's pink cheeks turned beet red. "I'm ... I don't think I want to do that," she objected, but without enthusiasm.

"Why not? You're pretty enough, and you have a nice voice. I think you'd be a natural."

"You're trying to flatter me," Paige chuckled.

Steve shrugged with a grin. "Guilty as charged. But ... well, you've just got an enthusiastic personality. You seem to liven up conversations — even boring classroom discussions."

Paige stopped and turned toward him. "If I were to guess, I'd say you were trying to butter me up so you could get me on a date or something."

It was Steve's turn to blush. "Was I that obvious?"

"Yes."

"Oh," Steve said. "Well, even though you figured it out, would you like to go out to dinner with me tonight"

"Just dinner?" Paige asked cautiously.

"Just dinner." Steve was nonplussed by her wariness.

"I suppose I could," Paige replied after a moment's thought. "I have to get home early enough to study, and I know Beth worries if I'm out late."

"Your mom?"

Paige's eyes flashed with anger for the briefest of moments. "No, she's .... I'm staying with her."

"Oh." Steve had noticed Paige's response, and wasn't quite sure how to proceed with the conversation, since he'd accidentally upset her.

"Nothing too fancy, okay?" Paige volunteered to break the uneasy silence.

"Pizza?"

She shrugged. "That's okay. Or maybe the deli. Just as long as it's Dutch," she added quickly.

Steve frowned. "You won't let me treat you to dinner?"

Paige shook her head a tiny amount. "I'd rather not — at least, not now. I don't like to feel ... like I owe anybody something."

"Okay. But you realize that by playing hard to get, you're going to get more interest, don't you?" Steve asked playfully.

Paige felt a shiver inside. She had no idea how to deal with guys, and Steve was attempting to charm her. She knew that Beth would have advice about how to handle men — and the attention they would give her.

**********

Beth looked up from her book when she heard Paige's key in the door lock. Moments later, the girl entered the apartment, closing and locking the door behind her. She turned, and started upon seeing Beth on the sofa. "Oh, hi," she said quickly. "I didn't think you'd be up, so I was trying to be quiet."

"I couldn't sleep," Beth said. "I think it's this book. It's hard to put down, and I was lying awake in bed wondering what was going to happen next."

Paige chuckled. "I know what you're talking about. Sometimes, that happens to me, too."

"Out with Steve again?" Beth asked, curious.

"Yeah. We went to a movie, and then got some dessert."

"You're going out a lot lately the past month," Beth observed, trying hard not to sound critical of Paige.

"You and Rachel are the ones who kept telling me I needed to get out more," Paige answered. She sounded defensive.

"I wasn't criticizing," Beth tried to reassure the girl. "I was just making a comment." She sat up, swinging her feet off the sofa to the floor. "Steve must be a nice guy."

"He's okay," Paige said, but there was something in her tone of voice that was obvious but unspoken.

"Do we need to talk?" Beth asked.

"About what?" Paige's eyes were narrowed in suspicion; she was sure that she knew what Beth was hinting at.

"About sex," Beth said bluntly. "Eventually ...."

"Yeah, I know," Paige interrupted. "Eventually I may get curious and engage in sex. If and when that happens, I need to be careful, to protect myself from disease and unwanted pregnancy." She sounded like she was reciting a well-rehearsed speech.

"Well, yeah," Beth answered. "But there's more than the physical aspect."

"Tina and Rachel already explained how my new parts work."

"Did Rachel talk about how emotionally vulnerable you can be during and after sex?"

"Yeah," Paige answered.

"Are you ... you know?"

Paige shrugged. "Yeah. I mean, it's no big deal, right?" she added. Her expression wasn't as neutral as she was trying to make her voice sound. If anything, she looked like she was getting very annoyed.

"Are you being ... careful?" Beth asked awkwardly.

"Would you quit trying to run my life? I can handle this, mom!" Paige flared. She turned and stomped angrily to her room, slamming her door shut behind her.

Beth sat on the sofa, her mouth agape at Paige's reaction, and more so at the fact that Paige had called her 'mom'. She wasn't sure what it meant, whether Paige was exceedingly angry at her for prying, or if Paige was so comfortable with Beth that she was thinking of the older woman as her own mom. In either case, it didn't strike Beth as a good thing.

**********

"Let me guess," Rachel said to Paige as the two sat in her office, "you were feeling depressed or lonely after giving birth, and you decided to ... experiment ... a little."

Paige didn't look up from her lap. Her cheeks were pink from embarrassment. "Uh, yeah," she said softly. "Kind of."

Rachel laughed. "Going all the way isn't 'kind of'."

Paige shrugged. "I guess not. I suppose you want to know all the sordid details," she added sarcastically.

"No, not unless you _want_ to tell me." She gazed quizzically at the girl. "Does Beth know?"

"Yeah, I guess," Paige admitted softly.

Rachel's eyebrows rose. "You haven't told her fully? You've just let her guess?" Paige shook her head. "I can think of a number of reasons you'd, um, explore your sexuality," Rachel observed in a neutral tone. "Curiosity, especially since you didn't have much sexual experience as a teenager. Fear of being alone or unwanted from all those years. Need to feel cherished or important because of post-partum depression. Subconscious desire to participate in the other half of having a baby." She shrugged. "Lots of reasons. The important thing is to make sure you're not doing it for the wrong reasons, like compensating for post-partum."

"Yeah, you and Suzie both told me that several times."

"And we told you that you'll never be as emotionally vulnerable as you are during and after sex. One wrong comment by your partner, and you could be emotionally devastated."

"Steve's very considerate," Paige countered quickly. "He hasn't ever been pushy or anything."

"I wasn't saying otherwise. I just want you to be careful." She looked over her notepad. "Why haven't you told Beth? Is there something going on between you?"

Paige shook her head. "No."

"So why did you get angry at her? Why did you accuse her of trying to run your life?"

Paige leaned back and stared at the ceiling, afraid that her eyes would betray her feelings. "I don't know," she answered half-heartedly.

"When you yelled at her, what did you call her?" Rachel asked. She sounded like she was merely curious, but she already knew the answer. Beth had told her.

Paige glared at Rachel. "You know," Paige answered with a frown.

"What did you call her?" Rachel repeated innocently.

"I called her ... mom," Paige answered softly as she stared at the floor.

"Why?"

"I guess because she was poking in my personal life."

"Was she trying to control your life, like your ... mother did?"

Paige shook her head. "No. Not really."

"So she was just concerned about you?" The girl nodded. "Did you ever tell your mother to quit controlling your life?"

Paige shook her head no.

"So it wasn't out of habit. Was it maybe a mixture of feelings, like you felt she was controlling you, but at the same time, you liked that someone was genuinely concerned about you? That you _wish_ Beth was your mom because she cares for you and treats you with respect and dignity?"

Paige looked away suddenly, but Rachel could see her wipe at tears that had suddenly appeared. "Yeah," she answered in a tiny, frightened voice.

"Do you? Wish Beth was your real mom?"

"Yeah," Paige answered quickly. "She makes me feel special, and ... loved. Even when she tells me something I don't want to hear, I know that it's because she really cares about me." She wiped her cheeks. "It ... it feels nice."

"Let's talk about your real mom, your real family."

"Do we have to?" Paige pleaded with Rachel.

"Yes, we need to. It's part of your past that's painful, and even though you've made a lot of progress, you're still working to let go of the anger and hatred." Rachel waited until Paige looked at her eye to eye. "Have you heard back from your real mom?"

"I ... I don't know," Paige admitted softly.

"You don't know? Didn't Charlotte set up the e-mail so you could get any replies, if there were any?"

"Yeah, she did," Paige answered, "but ... but I'm afraid to look."

"You're curious, aren't you?"

Paige simply nodded, looking down for fear of betraying more emotions through her facial expression.

Rachel stood and took her laptop from her desk. She sat down beside Paige. "Let's look — together." She waited a bit for Paige to reply, but the girl didn't. Rachel opened the e-mail website that Charlotte had set up. She paused before she selected the 'check mail' box. "Do you want to know?"

Paige nodded slowly. "I suppose I _need_ to know, don't I?"

"In my opinion, yes," Rachel replied, "but this is all up to you. It's _your_ life, not mine."

Paige thought a second. "Okay. Open it."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Before I chicken out."

Rachel clicked the button, and then handed the laptop to Paige. She watched as the girl opened the e-mail, and then read. As she did so, her eyes moistened, until she was in tears. After a bit, she closed the program and handed the computer back to Rachel.

"Do you want to talk about what they said?" Rachel asked, inviting Paige to share without feeling compelled.

"They ... they're glad I'm alive," Paige began. "They said they'd been afraid for years that I was dead or something else bad had happened to me. They said they never gave up hoping, or looking for me. They said that my running away almost tore my family apart."

"That's the same thing Suzie and I told you when we showed you the posters and ads," Rachel reminded the girl. She noted that Paige had referred to them as "my family" for the first time since she'd met Paige — or Pete.

"Yeah," Paige acknowledged. "They said they didn't realize all the things that they'd done that hurt me, and that they're very sorry. They said they understand why I ran away. They said that they wish I'd come home again, but that they understand why I wouldn't want to." Her voice trailed off as she stared blankly across the room.

"Is that all?"

"They asked me to forgive them for not being better parents," Paige concluded. She closed her eyes and took a couple of slow breaths. "I can't do that."

"I understand."

"Even though it doesn't hurt as much, and I'm not having the nightmares, I can't forgive them for all that they did. It hurt me too much."

"Maybe someday, you'll be able to," Rachel said, putting her hand comfortingly on Paige's arm.

Paige's eyes widened. "You're not ... going to suggest that I do that?"

Rachel shook her head slowly. "No. That's not for me to decide. Someday, you'll know you're ready to take that step, but until then, it has to be _your_ decision, not because of pressure from me or Suzie or Beth."

Paige nodded and wiped at her tears again. "You were right. They didn't know what they were doing."

"All parent are amateurs, Paige," Rachel reminded the girl. "We all try our best, but there's no personalized instruction manual, so every parent has to guess and hope that he or she is doing the right thing."

"It's kind of late for that, though," Paige said, sounding more sad than bitter. "They took away my childhood. All my memories are crap."

"You can reply to them if you want," Rachel suggested. "You can tell them what you told me, that you can't forgive them — not yet, and that you feel like they stole your childhood." She saw the girl's eyes widen with surprise. "It's all up to you, but I think that telling them what they'd done, and how you felt about it, helped you. It _might_ help you to continue exchanging e-mail from time to time."

"Maybe." Paige got a far-off look. "Would it be okay to tell them that I'm making my own life, and that I don't want to see them now?"

"As long as you aren't spiteful or angry," Rachel said with a smile. She noticed that Paige seemed distracted. "Is there anything else on your mind?"

"Yeah," Paige said, snapping her awareness back to the office and to Rachel. "I want to sign up for another baby."

"Oh?" Rachel seemed, surprisingly, not shocked by the news. "Why?"

"I ... I like how it feels to help a baby. I feel like I'm important." She got a far-off look in her eyes. "It’s the first time in my life that I've felt like I was important." She smiled as she refocused on Rachel. "And I need to pay for my college."

"Well, if you're sure, we can do another quick psych test, and then get the paperwork started."

"Another one of those tests?" Paige groaned.

Rachel smiled. "And you think I like grading them?"

Paige shook her head. "No, but you don't have to. They're scored by a computer, aren't they?"

**********

Paige was lying awake on her bed; sleep was coming hard to her. She knew what she had to do — she and Rachel had talked at length about it. It didn't help Paige feel less nervous. Presently, she heard the Beth unlocking the door with her key, and then the door squeaked as it opened. Wordlessly, Paige crawled from her bed and padded softly to the kitchen.

Beth was just getting home — late — after her mid shift at the clinic. It was almost midnight, so she was trying to be quiet so as not to waken the girl. Only one small under-counter light was on, making the kitchen a dark, shadowy place.

"Hi," Paige said softly, startling Beth, as she walked into the small circle of light.

"Oh!" Beth exclaimed, startled. "You surprised me. I figured you'd have been asleep a long time ago."

"I couldn't sleep."

"Something bothering you? You've got classes tomorrow morning, and you don't want to be tired. Maybe I can get you something. Chamomile tea, maybe?"

"No," Paige said. She stopped near Beth, who was standing by the counter where she'd set her purse. "I ... I need to talk to you."

"Oh?"

"Yeah," Paige said, looking down. "I had a meeting with Rachel today again."

"Are you okay?" Beth asked, her voice echoing her concern.

Paige shrugged. "I don't know. No." She shook her head. "I ... I think I hurt someone close to me," she finally stammered.

"Sometimes that happens," Beth said cautiously. She thought she knew where the girl was leading the conversation, but she didn't want to guess.

"I ... I said something to you yesterday," Paige said, looking down. She shook her head, then looked up at Beth, her eyes pleading. "I know that I've told you how much I hated my mother. And then I called you 'mom'!" she said softly.

"I know you were upset," Beth tried to soothe the girl.

"No," Paige wouldn't let herself be mollified. "I ... I need to tell you that I wasn't comparing you to her. I ..." She looked down, shaking her head slowly. "I think, maybe, I was getting so comfortable with you that I was thinking of you as I wanted a mother to be. A caring, giving mother, not a hurtful, neglectful, uncaring person." She paused, trying to figure out what to say. "I'm sorry if what I said hurt you."

Beth stepped forward and wrapped her arms around Paige. "Oh, honey," she said soothingly, "I know you weren't trying to be hurtful. And I'm sorry that I upset you."

**********

"Look at you!" Tommi sang out to Paige as the girl strode comfortably to where Tommi was sitting in a café. "You look fabulous!"

Paige blushed, sitting down. "You know how Tina and Rachel can be. They wouldn't let me gain an extra ounce, and they really pushed me to work out after delivery, especially since I signed another contract."

Tommi laughed. Paige was finding her to be motivating. She was a beautiful woman — Paige would have never guessed that she'd once been male. She kept her long brown hair styled neatly, but with a playful lock or two. Tommi was about as tall as Paige, too, which gave Paige some ideas about what her future might be. On top of that, Tommi had fought through a lot of adversity, Paige had learned, and had found a loving family, a new sister, and a life companion, all while earning two degrees and working on her PhD. It gave her hope that she, too, might find some happiness.

"Did you hear me?" Tommi asked, a little more loudly. She had a scowl on her face; Paige was obviously distracted about something. And she looked — nervous.

Paige realized that she'd let her mind wander. "Oh, I'm sorry. I was just thinking."

"About what?"

Paige shrugged. "Just things. Another baby. Finishing school. You."

"Me? What about me?"

"Just that I think you're amazing."

Tommi laughed. "I hardly think so. I'm just an average girl ...."

"Who's hosted several babies, all while working on college degrees," Paige finished. "You make me think that I can do it. Even with my little ... setback."

"Of course you can," Tommi reassured Paige. Then she realized what Paige had said. "What do you mean, 'setback'?"

Paige's eyes started to water as she looked down at the table, avoiding eye contact with her mentor. "I ... I made a big mistake!" she said, beginning to sob.

"What kind of mistake?" Tommi was alert now. She'd been through her own struggles, and she knew that Paige was still having difficulties.

"I'm ... I'm ...." Paige struggled to speak through her tears. "I'm pregnant!" she blurted out.

"What?"

Paige nodded, wiping at her cheeks. "We ... we were being careful," she said softly, "I thought we were, anyway. But ... something must have happened."

"Are you sure?"

"I did the test twice."

"And I'm going to guess that you found out _after_ you signed the contract?"

"Yeah." Paige looked up, her eyes pleading. "What am I going to do?"

"You haven't told Rachel or Tina yet, have you?" She saw Paige shake her head 'no'. "Are you going to carry to delivery?"

Paige nodded. "I want to. I have to. It'd be pretty hypocritical to have an abortion, after ...."

"You have to tell Rachel and Tina," Tommi said simply. "How about the father? Does he know?"

"No. And I'm not going to tell him." Paige saw the look of disbelief on Tommi's face. "We're ... friends. Close friends, but just friends. I don't want to force him into ...."

"Does Beth know yet?"

"I don't know how to tell her," Paige said.

Tommi suddenly started chuckling, earning a confused stare from Paige. "I was supposed to be giving you advice on how to handle things, because Rachel figured I'd been through some of the same things you're going through. But now, you're doing something that I haven't." Tommi laughed. "You're going to be the one giving advice on early-stage pregnancy when Erica and I have our own!"

Paige realized the strangely comical nature of the situation, and she began to laugh through her tears.

Tommi stood, and took Paige's hand. "Come on," she urged.

"What?"

"We're going to go talk to Rachel and Tina."

"But ...."

"No 'buts.' You _have_ to tell them.

"I'm ... I'm afraid."

"Don't worry. You know how understanding they are. Everyone at the clinic is. Have you decided if you're going to keep the baby, or give it up for adoption?" Tommi asked as the two women walked toward her car. "Did you drive, or take the bus here?" she added as an afterthought.

"The bus," Paige answered. "I don't have a car." Paige shook her head. "I want to keep it."

"I've heard how tough it can be for a single mother. You'll _have_ to get a car for all those odd errands you'll have to run, and you'll have to deal with a job, and daycare."

"Are you trying to scare me?" Paige asked nervously.

"Yeah," Tommi answered with a chuckle. "Isn't that what everyone at the clinic did to you before your first? Everyone wants to make sure you think things through before you just jump in."

Paige sighed. "It's a little late for that, isn't it?" When Tommi unlocked her car, Paige climbed into the passenger seat and buckled in. As they drove, Tommi used her cell phone to call the clinic. Paige nervously listened as Tommi told the receptionist that she and Paige needed to talk to Tina, Rachel, and Suzie, urgently. She quickly added Beth to the list.

The closer they got to the clinic, the more Paige was nervously fidgeting. Tommi noticed, and placed her hand on Paige's to reassure the frightened girl. "It'll be okay. I'll be right with you." Tommi pulled into a parking spot, and the two women got out. As soon as they walked into the clinic, a receptionist looked up, then practically leaped up to hug Tommi. "Hi, Cynthia," Tommi greeted the receptionist.

"Hi, Tommi! What brings you here? Are you going to sign up for another one?" Cynthia asked playfully.

Tommi grinned. "Maybe later. Erica and I are going to work on our own." She released her embrace of Cynthia. "Rachel should be expecting me."

Cynthia frowned a bit, and she looked down to her computer. "Oh," she said as her worry-lines vanished. "There's a note here to meet her in her office. She's in the conference room, in a staff telecon with the main office, but she should be done any minute now. Do you want to wait out here?"

Tommi shook her head. "No. We'll wait in her office, if that's okay. Tina, Suzie, and Beth were supposed to be notified as well."

Cynthia glanced at Paige, a look of concern flitting momentarily her face. If Beth was involved, she figured that the matter _had_ to be related to Paige, not Tommi. "Tina's in staff with Rachel, but I'll let Suzie and Beth know."

"Okay." Tommi's chipper voice was mildly upsetting to Paige. How could Tommi be so happy and carefree about Paige's problem. On the other hand, Tommi was obviously not the type to worry over things that were outside her control, which made Paige want to emulate her calm nature. But she couldn't. She couldn't get past the fear of having to tell four women who had become dear to her.

The two walked casually to Rachel's office. The door was open, and Suzie was already sitting in one of the stuffed chairs. She rose to greet Tommi. "Can't stay away, can you?" she joked, before giving Paige a greeting hug.

Tommi smiled. "This place is just too friendly to stay away." Gracefully, she sat down on the sofa, once more making Paige feel envious of her well-polished femininity.

Paige just slumped onto the sofa. In a moment, Beth came scurrying into the office. "Busy morning," she said as she eased herself down beside Paige.

"Yeah, I saw the schedule," Suzie said with a smile.

Before she could add more, Rachel and Tina strode purposefully into the office. Rachel was scowling, and Tina looked tired. "I hate those budget meetings," Rachel complained. She dropped a notebook loudly on her desk and then sat down in the other stuffed chair. Tina, seeing the seats all occupied, pulled a chair from in front of Rachel's desk and eased herself wearily to the chair. "I don't envy you for that," Tina said. "But you weren't up at five this morning for your first surgery."

"No," Rachel said, "I was up all night working on the budget numbers before the meeting!" She sighed wearily as she glanced around the room. Her gaze settled on Paige. "Okay," she began, sounding annoyed, "what's the emergency?"

"I sort of need to talk to you," Paige said cautiously. She'd been intimidated by Rachel's gruff tone and words when she'd come into her office.

"Sort of? Either you need to talk about something, or you don't," Rachel said impatiently. The staff meeting had worn her patience thin. "It's like being pregnant. You are, or you aren't. There's no 'sort of'."

Paige looked down, her cheeks reddening. "That's the problem. I am," she said in a tiny, shy voice.

"You're what?" Rachel asked, frustration in her voice. Her lack of sleep was evident to all.

Suzie, though, realized immediately what Paige was trying to tell them. "Oh, my God!" Suzie squealed. "Are you sure?"

Paige just nodded, still looking at the floor ashamedly.

Rachel started to say something, but her fatigued mind finally caught up with the conversation. "You're ... pregnant?" She paused a moment, gazing hawk-like at Paige, while she took a deep breath. She had a lot more to say to the girl.

Suzie's hand on Rachel's arm interrupted the comments Rachel was about to deliver. When she glanced in surprise to her colleague, Rachel saw Suzie shake her head slightly. She shut her mouth, knowing that Suzie had just stopped her from giving Paige a scathing lecture about responsibility. Lack of proper rest was impairing her judgment.

Suzie turned toward Paige, and put her hands reassuringly on Paige's shoulders. "Have you decided what you're going to do?" she asked calmly, in a non-judgmental voice.

"I'm having it," Paige said softly. "I mean, it would look pretty bad if I didn't, right?"

Beth leaned over to the girl and wrapped her arms around her. Paige's head sank onto Beth's shoulder, and the girl began to tremble as she cried.

"I'm so sorry," Paige wailed, crying openly now that she'd admitted her mistake. She knew she was in big trouble with the program. "I'm sorry I'm such a disappointment." Her shoulders shook as she bawled on Beth's shoulder.

"You're not a disappointment," Beth said as she held Paige tightly.

After Paige had calmed down, she retold what she'd already explained to Tommi— it was an accident, they had thought they were being careful, and she wasn't going to tell the father. She added, though, that she was pretty sure — now — that she was going to keep the baby after its delivery, rather than give it up for adoption. She looked at Beth for reassurance.

"I guess if _I_ can manage to raise a child as a single mother," Beth said, trying to inject a little levity, "then you should have no problems."

"Okay. Where are you going from here?" Suzie asked calmly. "School, job, where you live, and so on?"

Beth pulled Paige tightly against her. "She's staying with me." She saw the shocked expression on Paige's face. "If you want to, that is," she added.

"Yes," Paige replied, a look of gratitude on her face at Beth's generous offer. "I need to finish school," Paige said, sounding firm for the first time in the discussion. "But I don't know what I'm going to do about a job."

"Even though you signed the contract," Rachel said, trying to sound sympathetic, "with the pregnancy, I can't have you on the payroll as a client."

"I figured," Paige replied.

"You know," Suzie interjected to Rachel, "this might be an opportunity. We've been meaning to start some media productions."

Rachel picked up on Suzie's thought. "You know, that might work."

Tina sighed. "If you're done with me, I want to get some lunch. And I probably should do a pregnancy test on Paige for confirmation."

Rachel nodded. "That's a good idea."

With Beth and Paige, Tina walked to the medical side of the building, into one of the lab areas. "Beth, I want a blood sample for an hCG test."

"hCG?" Paige asked, curious and a little afraid.

"It's a hormone that occurs when a fertilized egg is implanted. It's a very accurate test — much more accurate than the home pregnancy tests."

"How long will it take?" Paige asked a bit fearfully. She was already very sure that she was pregnant, but the blood test would give a confirming answer.

"Twenty to thirty minutes," Tina replied. "We have our own lab, so it's quite a bit faster than a regular OB's office. Sometimes, they have to wait for days until the lab has a batch of tests to run. We do the tests immediately." She saw Paige's expression. "Nervous?"

Paige shook her head. "I'm almost certain that it'll be positive. I'm not sure, because I don't have a lot of practice in being a woman and having ... periods, but I think I'm very late."

***********

"I got another e-mail," Paige said from the kitchen as she cooked spaghetti sauce.

"Oh?" Beth asked, curious.

"Yeah."

"What did they say?" Beth asked cautiously. She knew that it was difficult for Paige to even e-mail her family, let alone discuss anything that came back.

"They said that they miss me, and that they didn't mean to hurt me. They said they still love me, too." Paige sounded skeptical about the last phrase.

"A few months ago, you wouldn't have believed that. But now?"

Paige shook her head sadly. "I don't know. Maybe I still want to believe that they do, but it's hard."

"That's understandable."

"Dinner is ready," Paige changed the topic as she finished pouring the sauce into a serving bowl.

"I'll get the table set," Beth replied, "while you drain the noodles"

Working together, the two had dinner ready quickly, and were seated at the table. After saying a short grace, Beth dished up some spaghetti for Paige. "Did they say anything else?"

Paige took the bowl of spaghetti noodles from Beth and began to ladle on some sauce. "It sounded like there were some big family and health problems after I left," she said, "but ...."

"You have doubts, don't you?"

"Yeah. She used to always use guilt to manipulate me." Over time, Paige had sounded less and less angry at the memories, replacing the anger with sadness.

"It's understandable that you'd be skeptical." Beth sprinkled some Parmesan cheese on her sauce, atop the noodles. "What are you going to do?"

"I don't know. Maybe I should ask what happened after I ran away," Paige said, sounding unsure of herself.

"It's up to you." Beth smiled. "You make good sauce."

Paige snorted. "It's just some seasoning I put in the bottled sauce."

"But you nailed the blend of spices. And the sausage slices are a nice touch."

Paige laughed. "You make it sound like it's restaurant quality. It's just something I threw together."

"I guess, after all these months, I shouldn't be surprised at how good a cook you are." Beth laughed. "I should have you teach me a few things. Michael always ate what I cooked, but he sometimes said I should take lessons."

Paige took a bite, and silence descended over the table for a few moments. "I don't know if I should keep e-mailing them."

"It's your choice." Beth raised an eyebrow as she looked at Paige. "I'm starting to think, though, that part of you is curious, and maybe hoping that you could connect with them again someday."

"Maybe." Paige stared down at her plate. "But ...." She shut her mouth as she considered her words.

"But ... maybe you're afraid of what I'll think?" Beth asked hopefully.

"Yeah." Paige didn't look up. "It's like ... after all the time I've been with you, I think of you like _you're_ my mom."

Beth felt her eyes moisten. "That's so sweet. And ... I think of you like I did of Michael," she admitted.

**********

Paige sensed that someone was in the room with her, even though she hadn't heard anyone slip through the open door. She paused what she was doing and turned. "Hi, Rachel," she said when she recognized the visitor.

"How's it going?" Rachel asked as she gazed over Paige's shoulder at the computer screens.

"I'm still not happy with it," Paige sighed. "It just doesn't ... pop."

"It's an overview video," Rachel commented, "not a blockbuster movie."

Paige drew a quick breath so she wouldn't get short with her boss. "The biggest thing is to make sure the message gets through. It's got to hold people's interest through the presentation and the Q&A." She shook her head. "It's not easy, especially since a lot of the footage is, to be frank, boring."

"Boring?" Rachel seemed offended.

"It's not the material," Paige corrected quickly. "The sound levels during the presentation aren't easy to work with. There's a lot of background noise, and the colors are kind of flat."

Rachel sighed. "What can you do with it?"

Paige closed her eyes for a moment. "I'm trying to put in some soft background music to set a mood, and I'm trying to clean up the audio track."

"If that works ..."

"And the editor keeps changing things, so it's hard to get the music timed. Frankly, I'm a ways behind where I should be on the schedule."

"Well, you're going to be at least another hour behind. I want to talk to you in my office when you get a break."

"I can take a break now." Paige answered. She saved her working files and followed Rachel to her office.

"I can see that you're frustrated," Rachel said as she gestured to a chair.

Paige sighed, slumping wearily onto a seat. "It's slow — a lot slower than it should be." She saw Rachel's bewildered look. "And with all the constant edit changes, I can't make any progress on the music track. It has to be in sync, or it sounds ... jarring. It really distracts from the message."

"Do we _really_ need background music?"

Paige sighed. "You told me to do this right," she said, exasperated. "The message by itself can be ... overpowering, or even intimidating," she said.

"You mean scary, don't you?" Rachel asked with a smile.

"I wasn't going to put it that way, but yeah. There are lots of studies that show that background music sets a mood and enhances the willingness of a person to receive the message. Lack of background music, or too much, can sound harsh, like a newscast or political debate."

"Good point." Then she smiled. "You're just showing off what you've learned, right?"

Paige blushed at the compliment. "Besides, until the editor finalizes things, I can't do a lot more on the video." Paige took a deep breath and slowly exhaled to calm herself. She'd gotten comfortable talking to Rachel as a counselor, but she was nervous talking to Rachel as a boss. "There's one thing I'd suggest to help the process," she commented hesitantly.

"What's that?"

"The team needs a producer. Everyone has ideas, but if there was a single focal point in a producer, it'd be a lot easier — and quicker — to get the videos done."

"And this is where a producer would help, right?"

"Yeah."

"Congratulations. You can add that title to your job description."

"What??" Paige's mouth dropped open.

"If you want the job, that is," Rachel added.

"I guess," Paige said, sounding uncertain.

"You don't sound sure of yourself."

"Well, not really. I'm busy enough doing the engineering for the videos. If I add producer ...." She gulped. "I mean, the rest of the production staff ... might not like it."

"Paige," Rachel said in a firm but reassuring voice, "as you move in your career, you're going to be in charge of people. As boss, you are going to have to make some decisions that will make people unhappy or that they don't agree with. You can't avoid that."

Paige looked a little pale as she considered the implications of a leadership position. "That sounds hard."

"And, as a leader, you want the team to feel engaged. You should seek input from people so you don't come across as a dictator. If the team doesn't agree on a course of action, a good leader will make the decision, and then take the time to explain why a particular decision was made, so the team feels like they weren't ignored. It helps the team stay cohesive." Rachel smiled. "It's something that everyone who leads a group of people should learn. Not all do, though. Nervous yet?"

"Yeah."

"If I didn't think you could do the job, I wouldn't have asked you." She grinned. "Think of this as another college course — in leadership and management."

"Okay," Paige answered hesitantly. "I guess I'll try."

"Do, or do not. There is no try," Rachel giggled. "At least, that's what my favorite movie philosopher would say. Now, if you take charge as producer, when do you think we can have a rough cut of the video to preview? Not finished, mind you. Just a draft."

Paige looked down as she bit her lower lip. She was lost in thought, not focused on anything in particular for a few seconds. "I think we can have something done by Friday afternoon."

"Have Cynthia schedule a meeting for the staff to preview the video on Monday." She saw Paige's confused look. "Always give yourself a little extra time to allow for those things that _will_ go wrong."

Paige stood to leave. "I'll get right on it."

"Oh, and Paige," Rachel added, "the editor told me you didn't want to use any of the segments you filmed. Why not?"

Paige shook her head immediately. "I'm not good in front of the camera."

"Michelle disagrees. She says that you have a very good screen presence."

Paige bumped into Beth in the hallway after she left the meeting. "What happened?" Beth asked, concerned by Paige's shell-shocked expression.

"Rachel just ... promoted me ... to producer!" Paige answered, her voice echoing her incredulity at what had just transpired.

**********

"What's up?" Steve asked Paige as they walked toward a classroom.

Paige shrugged. "Not a lot."

"You've been a little ... distant," Steve said. He sounded unhappy.

"I've been ... distracted." She belatedly realized that her words might lead him to ask questions. "I've got a part-time job, and it's keeping me pretty busy."

"Oh. I was wondering if we could go out to a movie Friday night."

Paige smiled, but shook her head no. "Afraid not. Beth and I already have plans."

"Oh. Maybe Saturday, then?"

Paige shook her head. "Sorry." She stopped and turned toward him. "I know we were hanging out a bunch ..."

Steve smiled. "If that's what you want to call it." He saw Paige's face, and his smile vanished.

"Look, I like ... hanging out ... with you. I like going to movies and dinner and things with you. But ... I'm, well, I'm getting ready for something major, and I ... I don't want to be distracted."

"Oh?" Steve couldn't hide the disappointment in his voice.

"I'm ...." Paige looked down for a moment. "I'm going to host a baby," she finally lied, looking up at Steve. It would give her an excuse to appear pregnant, and hopefully head off any questions.

"Host? Does that mean you're pregnant?"

Paige knew she had to control the conversation, and quickly. "Do you know of the Morris-Henderson clinics? How they have surrogate mothers carry babies?"

Steve nodded. "Yeah. My sister's college roommate carried a baby." His eyes widened. "Oh, that's what you mean."

"Yeah." Paige sighed. "I'm ... with getting ready for that, doing my classwork, and working part-time, it's kind of hectic."

"You told me about the job. Working with a firm doing video production? That sounds so cool."

"It's just a bunch of instructional videos," Paige said. "And a few videos that might be used for some ads."

"It's more than most of us do, at least until we graduate."

"Anyway, with all of that, I'm just overloaded right now, and with the way my hormones are going to be for the next four or five months getting ready for the program ...."

Steve's eyes narrowed. "My sister said it was only a month or two for her roommate." He frowned. "What's really going on? Are you seeing someone else?"

Paige shook her head quickly. "No. I'm not seeing anyone else. I'm just ...." She lowered her gaze so he couldn't see her face. She knew she didn't have a 'poker face'. "I just need a break."

Steve was clearly disappointed. "I guess if it's what you want." He tilted his head back, shaking it slowly as he looked toward the ceiling. "I was starting to think that you were hinting that you're pregnant or something." He looked down, and saw the horrified look on Paige's face. "You ... you _are_ pregnant?" he asked, stunned. He read her expression. "Oh, my God!" he mouthed slowly.

"I'm ...." Paige looked down. She decided not to conceal the truth any further. "Yeah. I'm pregnant."

"Is it mine?"

Paige nodded slowly. "Yeah. There's no question about that."

"Oh." Steve stood, stunned by her revelation.

"I'm going to keep the baby," Paige said, breaking the awkward silence. "And I don't expect you to feel any obligation to me or the baby," she added quickly.

"But ... what if I _want_ to?" Steve asked softly.

"I'm not going to get into a long-term relationship because of one accident on one night," Paige said firmly. "Besides," she added, "you don't know anything about me." She saw the look on his face. "If you want to have a relationship with the baby ...," she began.

"_Our_ baby," Steve corrected.

"... our baby," Paige acknowledged slowly. "I won't interfere. I know important it is for a child to feel loved ... by both parents." She sighed. "And maybe, someday, ...." Her voice trailed off.

Steve understood what she was implying. She wasn't going to push a 'shotgun wedding'. If they did develop a long-term relationship, Paige wanted it to be based on mutual attraction, not a sense of obligation because of a pregnancy. "Maybe." The two turned and walked in silence to the classroom.

**********

Paige's nerves were already frazzled as she rose to get off the bus. It had been almost a month since she'd revealed to Steve that she was pregnant. In that time, she hadn't gone out with him — at least not formally, although they had had lunch at the campus cafeteria a few times. Today, though, was different. Today, Paige had a purpose, and she wasn't looking forward to it.

With a grim expression, she marched off the bus. She'd been very deliberate in choosing this spot; she didn't want anything public, lest they create an embarrassing scene. Nor did she want anything completely private. The city park, on a Saturday morning, was perfect. There were enough people out walking their dogs and jogging that it was public, but some of the benches and picnic tables were far enough from the jogging trails and walking paths that some privacy could be had.

As she expected, Steve was already waiting for her. He rose to greet her as she walked to the picnic table at which he sat. "Hi," he said simply.

"Hi," Paige echoed nervously. She sat down across the table from where he'd been sitting.

"What's with the cloak and dagger mysterious meeting point?" Steve asked, trying to inject some humor. He looked upbeat, as if he was expecting some something positive from Paige. Perhaps she was ready to start getting more serious.

"I ... I have to explain something to you," Paige said. Her hands were trembling at the prospect of telling Steve the whole truth.

"What?" Steve's curiosity was giving way to nervousness.

"You know about baby hosting, don't you?" Paige asked.

Steve nodded. "Yeah. My sister's roommate did that." He frowned. "Does that mean — you're going to let someone else carry our baby?"

Paige shook her head. "No," she replied firmly. "I could _never_ do that!"

"Then what?"

"Before I started ... in college," Paige said, "I ... carried a baby."

Steve's expression lightened. "Oh." He smiled. "I thought it was going to be something serious." His smile froze when he saw the grim look on her face.

"There's more." Paige bit her lower lip for a second. "The foundation was started by the guys who invented organ cloning."

Steve looked confused. "So?"

"So," Paige said, "because they could clone organs, they made it possible for ... other people to host a baby."

Steve frowned. "You mean, like women who were infertile or had damaged ... organs?"

"Well, yeah," Paige said, looking down. "And ... guys," she added softly.

Steve's jaw dropped as he considered what he _thought_ he'd heard Paige say. "No," he said firmly. "No, you're not telling me ...." He shook his head. "No. You can't be .... We ...."

Paige didn't look at him, just nodding her head slowly. "I ... was ... a boy," she admitted softly, her cheeks moist with tears. She _knew_ what this revelation could mean to Steve, and any potential for a long-term relationship.

"That's ... impossible!"

Paige shook her head. "They can clone all the necessary organs, and then implant them. Everything a girl would need to carry and deliver a baby — which I've done."

"You're ... transgender?" Steve asked incredulously.

"More than that," Paige replied harshly. The way he'd spoken sounded as if he considered transgender to be a dirty word. "All my ... girl bits are fully double-X chromosome, true female organs. It's just that the rest of my body is XY, like any male. In all the ways that count, I'm a fully functioning, completely female person," she added defensively.

Steve looked away from Paige, at a distant spot in the park. "And we ...." He shook his head. "This is ...."

"I had to tell you," Paige said, reading the confusion, and even a bit of anger, in his voice, posture, and expression.

"Why didn't you tell me ... before?" Steve asked softly.

"Does it make any difference?" Paige pleaded. "I'm a woman. I've carried one baby, and I'm pregnant!"

"It's kind of ... overwhelming," Steve said slowly.

"I ... understand."

"No, you don't understand!" Steve snapped. "This is ...." He shook his head again. "I don't know what to think. And even if I could get used to the whole thing, I don't think my family ever could. They're very religious!" The two sat in silence, neither knowing what else to say. Finally, Steve stood up. "I've got to go," he said, not bothering with an excuse. He turned to walk away from the table.

Paige sat, staring after him, tears dripping from her cheeks onto her shirt. "See you in class Monday?" she called out hopefully after him.

Steve paused a half step. "Yeah," he said, "I guess so." He didn't sound at all convincing.

When the next bus that would take her back to the apartment stopped, Paige still had tears running down her cheeks. She sat on the bus in silence, feeling utterly devastated. When she got to the apartment, she trudged in the door, and then collapsed face-first onto the sofa.

Beth was in the kitchen baking when Paige came in. She knew immediately that something was wrong. She set her cooking aside and went to the sofa, where she sat on the edge next to the girl. She could see that Paige's body was shaking from her crying.

"Are you okay?" Beth asked, concerned.

"I told Steve," Paige sobbed.

Beth knew immediately that it hadn't gone well. "Oh, honey," she said as he put one hand on Paige's shoulder.

"I thought he was better than that!' Paige cried. "He ... he walked away from me."

"It _is_ a big thing for people to accept," Beth said soothingly. "Rachel and the staff spent a lot of time talking to you about that."

"But ... he _rejected_ me! Just like before! People don’t want me!"

"That's not true, and you know it!" Beth admonished the girl firmly yet lovingly. "You have friends at the clinic, and I ... I want you around. I _need_ you around, to help me with _my_ issues. You _are_ loved and wanted!"

"But ... what if he tells everyone?"

"What if he does? Very few people are still prejudiced about transgender or gay people. I doubt many people would reject you."

"Why?" Paige wailed. "Why couldn't he accept me?"

"Oh, honey," Beth said again, "you really like him, don't you?"

Paige nodded.

"And this is your first heartbreak. It's always hard to get your heart broken, but the first time is the worst." She had a thought. "Did you think that maybe, you and Steve ...?"

"Yeah," Paige said softly through her tears. "We ... seemed to connect. And we - you know. It was so special." She slowly levered herself up to a sitting position, and Beth scooted next to her, pulling Paige's head onto her shoulder.

"I know it hurts. I went through that, you know, so I understand." She ran her fingers through Paige's hair, and caressed her cheek soothingly. "You'll be okay. I promise."

After crying for several more minutes, Paige looked to Beth. "Thanks," she said softly, "for always being here for me."

"It's what friends are for, dear," Beth said with a smile.

"You're more than a friend," Paige retorted. "I ... I wish I could call you 'mom', because you're more like a mom to me than anyone else has ever been."

Beth's eyes widened, and smile slowly spread across her face. "That would be okay with me."

**********

Operation Rescue - In Plain Sight - Chapter 6
(To be continued)

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Comments

great

having read this one from the start has made it all the better.. you have done it so well... what can I say except that I cant wait for the next installment.

Steve

seemed more worried about what his parents would think than of her who is carrying his child. That would say he hadn't even told them anything about her yet, which is not a point in his favor.

One should never forget no birth-control is one hundred percent with the exception of abstinence.

Great story!
Hugs
Grover

Paige's character continues

Paige's character continues to develop. You may also notice that the narrative style is gradually evolving, becoming more feminine in line with Paige's changing worldview.

This takes some skill. Compare this chapter with the first and you might see what I mean.

Ban nothing. Question everything.

Some people

Renee_Heart2's picture

Just can't accept thing the she IS 99.9% all female especially where it counts even emotionally Page is ALL girl...

I think she will be ok & a GREAT producer & Great mother to her baby. As for Beth she will be a GREAT mother for Page as well as for her biological parents... Time will tell & what page does & tells them.

Love Samantha Renee Heart

awesome story and i really

awesome story and i really hope steve comes back to paige, because he is her first love and i want that relationship to last.

new story idea

The op rescue series is really interesting and fun to read. I would like to suggest that a future story require as a result of either a request by the parents, a change in the law or medical research that the first baby born to a op rescue mother must be conceived "naturally".

it would be interesting to read the reactions to intercourse by a new female.

Slick Rachel

Jamie Lee's picture

Paige seems to be the only one who still can't see how far she's come.

Rachel has been slick in giving Paige job which not only suit her abilities but put her into positions she would never have stepped into. But she's done it in such a way that Paige doesn't feel threatened by the offer.

She and Steve seem right for each other. He hasn't been pushy or needy, and it isn't a wonder he walk away from their meeting upon hearing part of Paige's story. It's a huge unveiling and it will take him time to process. He will also have to examine his feelings for Paige while thinking about what he was told.

Beth and Paige are in a "I'll change your bandage if you'll change mine" relationship. By helping Paige, or Paige allowing her to help, she starting to heal over the loss of Michael. And Paige has a shoulder to cry on when the world seems to be falling in on her. THEY are right for each other.

Others have feelings too.