Easy As Falling Off A Bike pt 2293

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The Daily Dormouse.
(aka Bike, est. 2007)
Part 2293
by Angharad

Copyright© 2014 Angharad
All Rights Reserved.
  
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I waved to Monica and the two girls. We caught up with them in the kitchen just as David was serving up the rolls—they were fresh baked and with the steak and onions, tasted heavenly. Danni spread tomato sauce over hers which made me want to heave, but then Daddy whacking a load of mustard made me look away. It seems people don’t like the taste of food and have to disguise it with assorted poisons.

The food washed down with a cuppa made me feel a hundred per cent better and Trish was sniggering at me until I realised my shoulder felt easier, almost back to normal. I winked at her and she giggled and ran off with Livvie, as the sun was shining they were going to play with tennis racquets out in the drive. I suspect Daddy was watching some tennis tournament and gave the idea to the two girls to play.

There was a tennis court in the garden but it’s been neglected since I’ve been there, can’t say I’m a great tennis fan, though it was good to see Murray win Wombledon.

“So why did everyone go rushing off?” asked Julie.

“The bank was under some sort of cyber attack, they think it came from China as Russia is busy messing up Ukraine at the moment.”

“What the Russians do cyber attacks?”

“Yes, all the time. The veneer of peace that seems to be between the major power groups like Russia and Nato and China, is all nonsense. They’re all trying to shaft each other or steal intelligence.” I tried to explain.

“Intelligence—that’s a laugh, Mummy, there isn’t any here, is there.”

“Apart from Trish, probably not.”

“So how can you steal intelligence?”

“It usually means just data military or commercial. Espionage is alive and well and coming to a computer terminal near you.”

“Ha ha, I’ve got antivirus stuff on my computer.”

“Julie, do you really think that would keep out a determined hacker?”

“Yeah—won’t it?” she sounded quite concerned.

“Only because Sammi does thing with the firewall to make it stronger than the average.”

“Does she?”

“Yes, she really is good with computers, most of the time I haven’t got a clue what she’s on about but today, watching her in action was quite exciting.”

“So had I better move my overdraft to Barclays?” asked Julie.

“Don’t you dare, or I’ll refuse to guarantee it.”

“If you go bust you won’t be able to anyway.”

“I have every confidence in Sammi.”

“Yeah, like her brain is bigger than the billion ones in China.”

“It’s not just her you know, they have a specialist company that runs most of the protective stuff, she supervises it all.”

“What she knows more about it than this specialist mob?”Julie seemed impressed.

“She knows more about the bank side of it and the various interfaces used between different systems...”

“God it’s so boring, even when it’s exciting, it’s sort of boring excitement.” Julie yawned.

“Did you know that they can even hack into the electronics in your car.”

“Whoopee do, what good is that gonna do them?”

“It means they could control your car by remote.”

“Don’t talk such rubbish.” Julie didn’t believe me.

“If they wanted to kill you and make it look like an accident...”

“Mummy, I’m a hairdresser beauty therapist, who’d want to kill me?”

“Someone whose hair you messed up,” offered Danni who’d been sitting so quietly listening I’d forgotten she was there.

“Hark at Casey Stoney,” retorted Julie and Danni blushed.

“Who is Casey Stoney when she’s at home?” I asked having no idea.

“Captain of the England soccer team.”

“See girl, that might be prophetic,” I patted Danni on the shoulder.

“The gay, captain of England women’s team,” said Julie quite cruelly and Danni seemed to cringe.

“What difference does her sexuality have to do with being a footballer?” I asked feeling irked by Julie’s tone.

“Would you go in the showers with her?” she fired back.

“No, but then I don’t play football do I?”

“See, you’re a homophobe as well.”

“Julie, I’m not. I wouldn’t particularly want to go in the shower with any other adult, except possibly your dad.”

“Yeah we’ve heard the noises from your bathroom.” I felt myself get hot.

“What d’you mean by that?”

“Nothing, why?” now she was blushing.

“I’m gasping for a cuppa,” said Jacquie changing the subject.

“Good idea,” agreed David.

Julie went off to do something upstairs—probably talk on the phone for several hours.

“Why did she call me gay?” whined Danni.

“She didn’t, she was just being too clever.”

“But she knew Casey was a lezzie.”

“Please don’t use that term, it’s horrible.”

“Okay, gay then—I’m not gay.”

“That could depend upon the definition of gay and the official status you have.”

“What d’you mean, Mummy.”

“Well, if you were still officially a boy and kissed another boy then couldn’t that be construed as gay.”

“Yeah, I s’pose.”

“But if he thought you were a girl, then he wouldn’t be gay but you could still be so.”

She was a bit thrown by that complication.

“But if you considered yourself a girl while still being a boy legally, and kissed another boy would that make you gay?”

“No, course not.”

“Even if you were still officially a boy.”

“No, because I was being a girl at the time, so I was being just a girl and he thought I was one. I’m not gay—yeuch.”

“I wasn’t making accusations, because I think the matter is between the two people concerned only, unless there’s a child involved or a vulnerable adult.”

“What’s a vulnerable adult?” she asked.

“Someone with a physical or mental handicap who might not be able to prevent another person taking advantage of them—possibly because they don’t understand what’s going on or can’t physically stop it.”

“Oh, like a blind person?”

“Possibly, outside their usual territory, so they might not be able to find an escape route.”

“Ugh, how could someone hurt a blind person?”

“Unfortunately, sweetheart, there are some very nasty people out there who prey on those unable to defend themselves.”

“Like the two blokes in France who attacked us?”

“Yes, you were minors and thus vulnerable.”

“You know such a lot, Mummy.”

Jacquie gave me a look which said, ‘I know all about vulnerable children.’ I hoped it wasn’t stirring it up for her.

I mimed, ‘You okay with this?’ and she nodded back.

“I’d never thought about adults being vulnerable?”

“Very old people are also vulnerable, they might be frail in a physical sense or in a mental one, sometimes both.”

“Like gramps you mean?”

“No I don’t, Gramps is a very fit and with it, older person.”

“Aye, an’ I’ll thank ye tae mind it.” The old grouse came looking for his bottle of Famous Grouse.

Danni blushed again and said, “I was only joking, Gramps.”

“Aye, I suppose ye think I came doon thae Clyde in a banana boat.”

“Who’s Clyde?” asked Danni.

“It’s a whit no a who.”

“A whit? What’s a whit?”

“Yes, I got told that at school quite frequently.” I added confusing them all.

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Comments

Down the Clyde

Greetings

Thank you for the continued saga.

As for the Clyde, a shame they no longer have puffer boats.

Brian

Shouldn't it be?...

Shouldn't it be up the Clyde on a Banana 'boot'?

They don't grow bananas in Scotland. LOLOL

Still lovin' it Ang.

Bev.

bev_1.jpg

Never had sex as a woman

I wonder what that would be like?

Cathy has a house full of souls trying to find themselves.

G

Sex - Better

Angharad's picture

for my partner than it was for me - so now you know.

Angharad

Fun...

It's always "fun" explaining things to kids... They are sometimes quite amazed at how much their parents know... (Well until they know everything, and "old folks" know nothing, until, if you're lucky, they learn you maybe knew something after all.)

Sounded like a right nice meal... Not something I'd be pouring that ketchup or mustard over. (But, there are things I do put mustard on... Just because I like how Dijon Mustard adds to the overall flavor.)

Sad how much winding up goes on in that house... *sighs*

Thanks,
Annette

I agree about poisoning food

I think people over-spice food so they can taste it. They have been using such hot spices for so long that they can't taste anything any more. Wasn't the purpose of heavy spices to cover up the taste of meat gone bad?

Really now, God did a good job when he designed a cow, a pig, and a chicken. He doesn't need the help.

Much Love,

Valerie R

Great story continues

As always, I look forward to my Daily Dormouse. It's wonderful to read this ongoing saga of our favorite family.

Keep on writing this tale. Otherwise, I might suffer a terrible withdrawal.

Red MacDonald

Cathy talks about

not liking tomato sauce spread on her food, And i agree with her although not so much because of the taste ( i quite like it tbh )No for me its more about the fact that tomato sauce escapes when you bite into it and like an heat seeking missile it always finds its target ... My clothes!

There is one thing i loved when i was young and i would guess a lot of people would throw up there hands in disgust, Most weeks we had a joint of beef and as always we collected the fat, The next day we would have bread and dripping sandwiches ... Yes i know its very bad for you even before you add the salt, But the taste is soooo nice.... Sadly for me these days its a treat of the past, Age and the knowledge of what it could do to my arteries pretty much saw to that.... But the memories still remain...

Kirri

Yes, very.

Podracer's picture

Very whitty. Could the kids be listening a bit? Is that the thermometer shivering "down below"?

It's too quiet - I don't like the sound of it one whit. There must be evil a-brewing somewhere, a supernatural muttering at the edge of a shadow, a hate that skittered behind the cooker when the light came on.
Uh, sorry it's late, I had too much chocolate, Bombay mix and corned beef hash with brown sauce. Not together, and not in that order. Goodnight.

"Reach for the sun."