Almost A Girl Chapter 9

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There were four men up on the stage. The guy in front was holding onto a guitar.. The base fiddle was off to the left of him. The steel guitar was behind him and the fiddle player was off to the right. All of them were picking chords and checking to make sure they were on key with one another.

The guy with the guitar motioned toward a microphone on a stand to his left as Judy and I climbed the steps up to the stage. “Ladies, we will start with Long Black Train. It’s the top sheet I handed you. Because we haven’t ever practiced together you will sing along rather than do the chorus. If you feel a breakout come on you, then do your thing. No rules here. Feel free to let your creative juices flow.”

Judy placed the music on the stand by the microphone.

“Ready, one two, one two three.” He counted off cadence and the violin started with a long drawn out wail, doing a good imitation of a train whistle. The others joined in and the guy started singing as he strummed his guitar.

Judy dropped in a few words late, but right in harmony. God could that girl sing or what? It sent chills down my spine to listen to her. I was mouthing the words before I decided to add a little noise of my own. I was off key and half a beat behind. I shut down as I tried to pick up the words and the right key. Again I tried, and again I was off key, but on the beat. I picked up an octave and it sounded like someone scratching their fingernails on the chalkboard. I dropped two octaves. I was so out of harmony with Judy it sounded like two dogs howling at one another inside a pipe. I picked up an octave but was still out of harmony. I went back to my first choice as I went up another octave and softened the pitch rather than trying to carry the song. It wasn’t good, but it wasn’t bad. I softened it a little more as a compliment to Judy’s voice, rather than trying to match her. Better, but still not there. Again I softened my voice and found my compliment to Judy’s unequaled purity.

I was so busy concentrating on my spot harmonizing and reading the music, I never noticed when the guy stopped singing or when the band members and everyone else in the club turned to watch Judy. She had the voice of an angel, as pure as a midnight snowfall. She carried the notes so perfectly they could be felt, as well as heard. She didn’t sing the music, she was the music.

The last word was sung, the last note was played, and it was then I noticed how deathly quite it was in that club. I looked up. Everyone was staring. I glanced over at the guy center stage. He was staring with his mouth open. I watched as he silently mouthed, 'damn!'

The few people in the club started screaming, applauding, stamping their feet, and pounding the tables.

“Uh, I think that’s a take.” The guy center stage was looking kind of funny. He was headed off stage. “Excuse me for a minute.”

“Nice, really really nice.” Came from behind us.

I turned to look at the base fiddle player and nodded in agreement. “She can sing.”

“Yeah, she can do that and you too.” He agreed.

“I was all over the place.” I figured he was being nice instead of truthful.

“You found your slot and when you did, it really was sweet. I have never heard it done any better. Could we do it again?” He glanced over at the other players, who were nodding in agreement.

“Judy?” I was wondering if she minded?

“Sure.” Judy gave me a wink.

“Long Black Train, again.” The fiddle player pulled through the opening chords with the lonesome sound of a distant train. Judy and I dropped in on key, on beat, and in perfect harmony this time. Goose bumps ran up and down my arms as I closed my eyes and Judy’s pure voice made the words and music come alive.

The guy was back when we finished. “In case you didn’t catch it the first time, I’m Calvin. The one on bass is Paul, Jake is fiddle, Don is steel.”

“Nice to meet you.” Judy turned and acknowledged the musicians.

“Pleased, thank you.” I followed Judy’s lead as I looked over at the empty chair behind the drums.

“Our pleasure.” Paul smiled in return. He looked back toward the drum set. “Dale had a death in the family. He’s gone for a few days or maybe for good. Can’t say when he’ll be back.

I was thinking this band was losing members in a hurry with everyone sick or leaving.

“Judy, Barbara, a couple more and then you ladies can take a breather. We will do a couple instrumentals and take a break ourselves sometime about five thirty. I think we will be ready for the evening crowd about then. We take a ten minute break about every thirty minutes or so. I understand you ladies need to be home before twelve. Anytime you want to leave you may, although we hope you don’t until the last minute.”

He strummed a couple chords on his guitar. “Lonesome Me. And one and two.”

The rest of the band picked it up. Calvin and Judy started in together in perfect synchronization. Her pure soprano a perfect balance to his full rich baritone. I finally found the words and dropped in, harmonizing with Judy.

It was an hour or so later and people were pouring into the club. We had run through about five songs more or less and finished the last note on the last song when Calvin motioned for us to take a break. While we had been busy up on stage, two couples had sat down at the table with Elliot. They were dressed in a more western style than most of the patrons coming into the club. The two guys were darn good looking. The two ladies were exceptionally pretty. I didn’t think anything about it, since Elliot had that table all to himself up until that time.

Calvin motioned to the couple after we finished that song. “Don, Pat how you doing? When did you fly in?”

“This morning.” One of the men answered.

“Patricia, you want to give us some help up here?” Calvin motioned toward the musicians behind him.

“Love to.” The brunette stood up, followed by the blonde.

I figured Judy and I were through singing backup for Calvin. It was obvious he knew the ladies and they were going to replace us.

“It’s been fun.” I started off stage.

“What? Wait a minute. You can’t quit on me now.” Calvin was looking perplexed.

“You don’t need us when you have the other girls and they look like they belong up here.” I was positive Judy and I were finished.

“Uh…, I think there is a misunderstanding.” Calvin motioned toward the brunette. “Patricia plays the drums. Lenett plays the banjo, mandolin, guitar, and just about every thing else. They have their own band, along with Don and Pat.”

I studied the ladies as they walked upon stage. “Pretty girls.”

The brunette held out her hand. “I’m Patricia and this is Lenett. We’ll join in the vocals now and then if you don’t mind.”

I took her hand as I choked. “Mind? Not my place to mind.” I pointed to my left. “This is Judy and I’m…,”

“Lady Barbara, I know. Your cousin already mentioned your names. So pleased to meet you.” Patricia turned toward the drum set at the back of the stage.

“What do you have for me? I didn’t bring anything.” Lenett looked across the stage for something to play.

Jake held out his fiddle. “Take this and warm up while I go find you something to play.”

“Thanks Jake.” Lenett tucked the fiddle up under her chin and drew the bow, bouncing it across the strings.

I thought the opening chord was something I remembered. I wasn’t wrong, as Lenett did a repeat again and again.

Calvin shook his head and started strumming chords. “Guys, she’s gonna lose us. Let’s see if we can keep up.”

It was foot stomping time as that little band dug into Orange Blossom Special. I don’t remember hearing it played any better. It was seconds later the whole club was on their feet, stomping their feet and clapping their hands as Lenett played that fiddle better than anyone I had ever heard.

Chiggers filled up to capacity about six that night. By eight it was an overflow crowd. I heard later the staff opened the doors at ten and let the crowd flow in and out. When Judy and Elliot decided we had enough it was getting on close to eleven o’clock. It took a lot of gentle nudging and coaxing to make it out of that club into Elliot’s Mustang. That place was packed with people.

Elliot pulled back up on the highway headed home before I took a deep breath. “Whew, I thought that place was a low key club with a few patrons?”

“Usually is.” Elliot made the ramp up to the expressway.

“And clue me in. How and why did Calvin call you, asking if Judy could substitute tonight? I didn’t know you knew the guy.” I was curious as to how this situation started?

Elliot glanced into the rearview mirror at me. “I didn’t know him. I never said he called me. I said he called. Judy is the one he called this morning. He goes to the same church as Judy. I am guessing he heard her sing in church and thought she would be a good substitute when the other ladies he named couldn’t make it. I think he was well pleased tonight with his choice.”

Looking over at Judy Elliot smiled. “I know I sure enjoyed the evening. I knew you could sing, I didn’t know you could read music and sing country and western?”

Judy leaned back in the seat and took a deep breath. “I read the music. I didn’t know any of those songs. It was fun but I sure am tired and my throat hurts. It would take a lot of practice doing that every night.”

“What about you, brat? I didn’t know you could read music either?” Elliot shot a glance in my direction.

I shook my head. “Who said I was reading music? I was following Judy’s lead and trying to keep on key with her. I had no idea what all those squiggly little things meant. The words I could read so I didn’t have to guess about them.”

“Could have fooled me. You girls were good. Calvin told Judy she got two percent of the door. I guess if you want to be paid too you will have to beg Judy to split her share with you.” Elliot pulled off the expressway onto Harper Drive, headed toward Judy’s house.

Wednesday was a slow starter for Judy. I woke up and climbed out of bed without waking her for once. Glancing at the clock, it was past eight. I figured Miriam and Bill were already down at the store. So still in a nightgown after the bathroom pit stop I headed to the kitchen for milk and a popup. Where I ran into Miriam. I didn’t know whether to turn and flee or try and act normal. As if I had a clue how girls act normal?

She turned to check to see who it was when she heard my feet pad across the floor. “Morning. Judy still asleep?”

“Yes’m.” I was still thinking I might make an orderly retreat.

She took a sip of coffee from the cup in her right hand. “You don’t look like you’ve been up too long yourself. I’ve got to go. Calvin Speaker called this morning and wanted you and Judy back over at Chiggers after ten. He said it was important. He asked for you and Judy to dress up like you did last night. Has something to do with a demo. Said you girls would know.”

Miriam smiled, her eyes danced as she studied me. “Want to let me in on what he was talking about?”

“I…, uh, that is…, I’m not sure. Your daughter wowed them at the club last night. Judy is so pretty and so talented. I only wish I…,” I stopped as I realized what was about to escape out of my mouth. I blushed with embarrassment.

“Wish you were as pretty and as talented?” Miriam rinsed her cup in the sink before she walked over and wrapped her arms around me. “Barbara, you’re a very pretty young lady. And, to tell a secret, someone who was at Chiggers last night has already told me about the two talented young ladies on that stage. I know your mother is proud of you just as I am. Bill and I certainly wouldn’t mind having you for our own daughter.”

She turned me loose as she glanced at her watch. “I’ve got to go. Make sure to get Judy up. I’ll call Elliot and have him pick you girls up in about an hour and half so you can make that meeting with Mr. Speaker.”

I was still in shock as Miriam closed the garage door behind her. Pretty? Talented? Me? When Judy did her magic on me I felt pretty. It was awfully nice of Judy’s mom to say it, even if it wasn’t true. I headed to the bedroom to shake Judy out of bed.

Elliot was early so we were a half hour early getting back over to Chiggers. Judy was wearing a blue slim cut dress that hugged her body like paint. She had mentioned the dress was cobalt blue. All I know was it was a knock your eyes out blue, and the curves Judy was putting inside it were a double gotcha, I was insanely jealous. Judy managed to give me some curves, but mine were all fake, like me. I wanted to be real like Judy, but it would never be.

All the band plus Patricia, Lenett, Neal, and Pat were up on the stage and already playing when we walked in. Except for several men and women around a couple huge cameras on each side of the room, the place was empty. One of the women standing beside a camera noticed us and motioned to a table, indicating we should sit.

A half hour later, after listening to some of the best country and western music I had ever heard, Calvin and the others took a break. The lady that had planted us at the table walked over. “Who is Judy and which one is Lady Barbara?”

Judy gave a slight raise of her right hand. “I’m Judy.”

The lady looked at me. “And you’re Lady Barbara of course. Okay, separate mikes on the stage so we can split and work with the vocals in the studio. I was told Judy was the lead and Lady Barbara was the harmony. Is that right?”

“Yes, sometimes.” I offered.

“Sometimes?” She looked puzzled. “You also do lead?”

“No, sometimes I manage to harmonize.” I giggled and then choked when the lady didn’t seem to find it funny also.

“Don’t let her fool you. She might take a few notes to find her slot, but when she does, no one can do it better.” Judy was looking at me and nodding her head.

“Okay, this is a live recording. Don’t let it bother you. We can edit and mix in the studio later. Let’s see what you got.” She motioned toward the stage as the others were coming back again.

“Uh…, Miss, I can’t be across the stage and harmonize with Judy. I need to be beside her so I can pick up the notes. I don’t read music. I follow Judy’s lead.” I was positive this wasn’t going to work.

“That’s going to make it harder dividing vocals in the studio, but if that’s the way you do it, then I’m not here to change what I heard last night. Move your mike over next to Judy. Still separate mikes. Okay?” She waited to see if it was a working agreement.

“Sure.” I slid out of the chair to follow Judy up on the stage.

Calvin handed us the music. “We changed some of the music. Long Black Train first. You ready?”

“Not in this lifetime.” I muttered under my breath.

Judy leaned over in my direction. “Deep breath, pretend you’re home in the back yard singing to no one but the birds. You can do this better than anyone I ever heard.”

“You must be tone deaf then.” I lobbed back at her.

Lenett pulled the bow across the fiddle for the lonesome wail of a train whistle. A couple of notes and Calvin and Judy were on key and oh, so good. I was caught lagging and off key. What was that about two dogs howling at one another inside a pipe? They could carry a note better than me. I raised an octave. That was worse. I lowered a couple and softened to harmonize with Judy and found my place, but was still lagging behind. I picked it up until I found a place that was finally pleasing to my ears.

As soon as we finished Calvin had us do it again. This time I was ready and we did it right. I could tell we did it right because I had Goosebumps up and down my arms when Judy finished. I was positive no one had a more pure voice than Judy.

It was closing in on noon by the time everyone had decided they had enough. Calvin asked Judy if she wanted to be a regular in his band before we left.

Judy shook her head as she pointed at her throat. “No thanks. I’m not sure my throat would stand it. Singing is like any other sport. It takes practice and more practice to be able to do it regularly.”

“That’s true, it does. Can I talk you into coming back tonight then? Seems as if word has spread about you two ladies last night and there are going to be a lot of people coming here tonight just to hear for themselves.” He was hoping Judy would agree to at least one more night.

“Tonight what time?” Judy wanted to know how long the night would be.

“Eight to one or two is our regular schedule. Depends on the crowd and how long they hang around. If you and Barbara agree to come back tonight how does an eight to twelve schedule sound?” Calvin was hoping the two girls would agree if he shortened the time slot for them.

“Barbara?” Judy was looking in my direction.

I guess I was turning into a ham because I really did enjoy singing with Judy, even though I couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket. “I’m with you. Whatever you decide. You can do without me. I couldn’t sing with anyone but the howling dogs if I had to go it alone.”

I didn’t question about the wheels getting there and back. I knew Elliot would be more than happy to escort Judy back to the club later that night and he just might let me tag along. Obviously I was losing my mind because at the time I was not thinking I would be coming back tonight as a girl also.

Thursday was a slow starter for me. I think the combination of singing and the hours at Chiggers were emotionally draining, even if it wasn’t physical work. I awoke, catching snippets of conversation between Judy and Miriam in the living room.

Judy came into the bedroom and started looking through the closet. “Mom said Debbie Bruns called. We were invited to be hostesses at a fund raiser at the civic center this afternoon. It is for the church charity organization. They give financial help to children born with disabilities. We will wear heels today. Go take a bath and use plenty of bath oil. It is one of the girl secrets we don’t tell the guys.”

“How about I call Elliot and tell him to bring my clothes back.” I was positive I didn’t want to be in front of people, pretending to be someone I wasn’t, for a charity event.

Judy laughed. “Barbara, you could wear jeans. You would still be a girl. No sweety, we wear a dress. This is one of the times we use guerilla girl power to entice the crowd to open up their pocketbooks.”

“Guerilla girl power?” That was one I had never heard before. Was it another one of those secrets known only by girls?

Judy laughed as she headed for the master bathroom in her parents bedroom to take her own bath. “You’ll learn Barbara. We don’t need muscle to get what we want.”

It didn’t turn out to be a dress down day as Judy and I got ready. The dress Judy mentioned was for real girls. With Judy’s prodding, of course I packed the make believe curves inside it. What bothered me the most, besides it fitting like a glove, was the skirt. “I can’t walk in this dress.”

“Yes you can. You take graceful steps. The dress has a tight skirt.”

Until now I didn’t think brown was a color that could glisten. The brown dress had a sheen that kinda flowed over it as I moved. I took a deep breath and I walked across the room. “If you mean smaller steps then I guess.”

Judy nodded as she slipped into a red silk dress with a full skirt. She picked up the phone and called Elliot. “Talk you into a ride? About ten minutes, we haven’t had anything to eat yet. Okay, thanks.”

We were walking out the door when Elliot drove up. He hurried to get out of the car and open the passenger door for Judy and me. “You girls look fantastic. I need to run back by the house for a minute. Hope you don’t mind.”

Judy shook her head before she slid into the seat. “No, we are hours ahead of when they wanted us for the event. I thought we would go down there and have them walk us through what we were supposed to do. We have plenty of time.”

“Great.” Elliot was back in the driver’s seat and slowly pulling out for home.

It was after he pulled in our driveway and opened the door for Judy Elliot was motioning for me to follow. “Come on Barbara.”

I shook my head. “Elliot, mom is going to figure it out if she hasn’t already. I’ll stay in the car.”

“Ain’t happening. Come on, brat.” He waited.

Looking back that should have clued me in, but it was too close to normal dialog between Elliot and me. I slid out of the car and walked into the house with Elliot and Judy. Elliot led us to the back patio where mom was sitting at the patio table.

“You girls look nice this morning. Won’t you please join me?” She motioned to the chairs.

As soon as we sat down, Elliot stood back up and touched Judy on the shoulder. “I want to talk to you for a minute.” He motioned back off toward the house.

I started to get up along with Judy until Elliot motioned for me to stay put. “Private conversation.”

Mom watched them leave. “Judy is a pretty girl.”

I knew exactly what mom was saying. “I wish I was half…,” I choked as I almost said it again.

She turned her attention back to me. “As pretty as Judy? Barbara you are every bit as pretty as Judy in your own way. I know your mother is proud of you.”

“Thank you Mrs. Peck.” I wanted it to be true, even if it wasn’t..

She reached over, took my hands, and stared into my eyes. I knew at that instant mom knew who I really was. She knew from the beginning. Could she have been in on it with Elliot and Judy? I couldn’t bring myself to ask.

Holding onto my hands she looked off to the side into the distance before she cleared her throat and turned her attention back toward me again. “Parents don’t always have all the answers for their own children. The times and knowledge change and we don’t keep up. Elliot noticed things in his little brother that dad and I considered to be a different, softer son than Elliot. We noticed we had to strongly encourage Buddy to get into sports.”

By now my heart was in my throat as I was frantically making a million excuses why I was wearing makeup and one of Judy’s dresses. I didn’t say anything because I had no idea what to say.

Mom smiled as tears leaked out the corner of her eyes. “Elliot did a lot of research before he came to dad and me to tell us what he found. Elliot told us our youngest son was a girl not a boy.”

If I could have died right then and there I would have. “Mom…”

She shook her head. “Please let me finish. We love you with all our heart and soul. Your bother loves you just as much as we do. He said the reason you were joining all the sports and doing all the boy things was because you loved us as much and you didn’t want to disappoint us.”

“Honey, you could never disappoint us. There is a caveat in there. The only way you could disappoint us is if you weren’t true to yourself and made your life what you want.”

Mom gripped my hands as her eyes bored into mine. “Are you enjoying being Barbara? Do you think…, believe this is who you are?”

I swallowed, trying to figure out how to answer. The problem was, mom and I were so close we always knew what the other one was thinking before it was said. Swallowing again I tried to get the lump out of my throat. “I want to be who you want. I don’t want to hurt you or dad.”

There was no way I slid that one past mom. She knew!

“Do me a favor then?” She waited.

“Anything.” I figured I could kill myself later to save her and dad any embarrassment.

“Be Barbara for another couple weeks for me.”

That wasn’t the favor I thought she would ask. Maybe mom and I didn’t know each other that well? “A couple weeks?”

“When everyone planned on flying up to Dallas I knew there was no way I was going to let you go through airport screening. Not that you wouldn’t pass, because you would. You are a very beautiful young lady. Which means they might pull you to check you out. I would never forgive myself if I let that happen.”

“We chartered a plane. All of us are flying up on a private plane.” She turned loose of my hands and was wiping at tears trickling down her cheeks.

“Does everyone know?” My nerves were anything but calm.

“Your dad knows and Miriam knows. Elliot said Tug knows.”

I choked. “Tug knows?”

Mom smiled kinda crooked. “Elliot said Tug knew when he first saw you at the prom.”

Now I really was confused. “He knew! But he danced with me.” That caused me to blush from the top of my head to my toes. “Is he…?”

She shook her head. “Gay? Not from what your brother tells me.”

We sat in silence for more than a minute as I mulled all of this information over in my mind. I could justify being Barbara for another week or so if mom wanted me to. “Okay.”

She knew what I was agreeing to. As she rose from the chair I stood up. We wrapped our arms around each other and cried.

“I love you.”

“I love you too, honey.”

Elliot and Judy came back out to the patio. Judy walked over and hugged me. “When you finish with the water works we need to straighten up our makeup.”

As we left home behind, my mind was in a turmoil. It was hard to put a definition on my emotions. I was happy mom let me know she knew and accepted me. There was a catch twenty two. As long as I was thinking no one knew who I was, I thought they were accepting Barbara, the girl Elliot and Judy had invented. I would have bailed as Barbara if I hadn’t promised mom I’d be her for a couple more weeks.

Elliot pulled into one of those little quick stops that had booths inside. He opened the door for Judy and me. “Ladies.”

We managed to get soft drinks at the fountain before finding an empty booth. I was trying to see how many were staring while trying to not be obvious myself.

Judy shook her head as she watched me. “Relax Barbara. Nothing has changed. You are still all girl. Those wanting to get a better look are admiring a pretty girl.”

“Un huh.” Saying it and accepting it were two different things.

“May we?” Came from behind me.

My panic hit full blown overload at that instant. I knew that voice.

It wasn’t him that sat down beside me, but a woman. I glanced at her and then had to take a second and third look. She was in her early twenties. She had Indian Princess cheekbones, and heart shaped lips with a soft peach lip color. Her red satin dress had such a low cut neckline it was almost obscene, exposing lots and lots of cleavage.

While I was taking quick glances from the lady beside me to Tug and back, she held out her hand. A beautiful hand with beautiful long fingers and beautiful nails.

“I’m Billie, and you have to be Barbara.” She waited with her right hand held toward me.

Automatically I took her hand. There wasn’t a handshake like guys do. She clasped my hand and held it as she examined me.

“Such a beautiful girl. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“Thank you…, I mean you’re pretty…, too, also…, I mean…,” Come on brain, engage!

Her eyes were twinkling as she laughed. “Why thank you. That was very sweet. Perfect manners too. What are the plans for today? A party no doubt as you ladies are dressed up.”

I shook my head as I remembered what Judy said this morning. “Judy said we were going to the civic center for a fund raiser I think.”

Billie nodded. “You are the two hostesses I was told about. I was given the glorified title of event manager. I can see, with two ladies as pretty as you, our charity will pull in an extra five percent. Have you decided what songs you are going to sing?”

“Songs?” Now I really was confused.

She laughed again as she shook her head. “These things never do get organized until the last second do they? Calvin said he would show up and do two songs for us if we could get the ladies who have been singing with him the past couple nights to join in. Well if he doesn’t show then count on singing without him.”

I looked across at Judy.

She shook her head. “Don’t look at me. I had no idea. Mom asked if I would mind if we did a charity event this afternoon. I thought we would pass out brochures and help with the snacks.”

Billie nodded. “Now that’s an idea I have to float past the organizers.”

She patted the back of my hand. “We have to get back to work.”

She stood up as Tug joined her. She glanced his way. “You ready?”

This time I had a good chance to check her out. She was more than wow in the curves department. I was sooooo jealous. I would never have curves. Not real ones.

Tug looked like he was struggling to come up with something to say as he looked at me. “You are a beautiful girl Barbara. Billie works at Tchrad in a different department than I do. She umm…, she makes impossible things work.” He looked over at Billie.

She nodded and then laughed as she reached back down and took my hand in hers. “Tug told me he had met the prettiest girl in the whole world. He insisted I meet you. I didn’t know you and Judy were going to be at the charity event this evening or I would have waited until later to meet the prettiest girl in the whole world.”

I know I was blushing. “Thank you for the compliment. It was very kind of you even if it’s not true. I would settle to be half as pretty as you.”

She squeezed my hand. “Sweety, the dream is yours if you want it bad enough.”

She stood up and slid her hands down her sides from her breasts to her hips. “There was a Bill inside this dress. I didn’t care to be Bill so I became Billie.”

“Now do me a favor will you? Just between us girls. Although my closest friends know, it isn’t public knowledge. I’m counting on you to keep my secret between us. Okay?” She gave me a wink before she turned and walked away.

Tug was watching me as I watched Billie walk away. She was so fluid and graceful in her walk. I shook my head to clear it as I wondered if she was making fun of me? “She was joking wasn’t she?”

Tug focused in on me. “Billie wasn’t joking on any of what she said Barbara. When she said you were pretty, she meant it. When she said you could have your dream if you wanted it, she meant it. When she said her name used to be William or Bill she was dead serious. It was the reason I asked her to meet you.”

“Billie is the most coveted employee in Tchrad. The girl is so smart she scares the rest of us. She has a photographic memory. I can ask her next month any detail about this meeting and she can describe you down to the lint on your dress. And the best part about Billie is she is so sweet and considerate of everyone else.”

“Billie is all woman through and through, even though she will never give birth to her own child. She said she was born with a hysterectomy. I gotta go. I’ll see you at the fundraiser this evening. Tchrad is one of the sponsors.” He turned and walked out.

Was it possible? My mind was going a hundred miles an hour and coming up empty. It was when I noticed Elliot closely watching me my mind started focusing again.

“I have a lot of information for you to look at, baby sister.”

Strange, I didn’t want to plow into him for calling me that. Just the opposite, I felt like giving him a hug. I knew Elliot and Tug had set up this meeting. I couldn’t wait to get another look at Billie. She was drop dead gorgeous. If I could only look half as pretty…?

Elliot drove over to the civic center. When we walked into the auditorium it was obviously apparent they were still trying to get ready. Legions of people were sitting up tables, chairs, working on the sound and light equipment and dozens of other jobs.

A harried looking woman holding a clipboard, cellphone, PDA, and carrying a shoulder bag stuffed full of papers came over when she spotted us. “Oh you’re here already. Okay, the uniforms are at the back of the stage. Find one that fits and change out.”

“Ha, ha, ha, Wanda, these aren’t your ushers. The two ladies will be part of the entertainment tonight. If I can talk them into it, they will be hostesses for the evening when they aren’t up on the stage.” Came from a recognizable voice from behind us.

We all turned to look as Billie walked up. “I have name tags coming if Judy, Barbara, and Elliot agree to be host and hostesses for the evening. Normally we only use the first name but in this case we use the whole name. Miss Judy Mecham and Miss Lady Barbara Peck will be used. We will also use Elliot Peck. I want our guests to know and remember our host and hostesses.”

She held up some pictures of Judy and me taken at the Country Club after we had taken our drivers test. “If you will, please do this again for the evening.”

Billie passed a couple pictures over to Wanda. “What do you think?”

“Wow, oh wow, but of course.” Wanda gave Judy and me a second look.

Billie waved a young man over. “Leonard, a second of your time please. You are our mayor. Please be seated. Ladies, pay attention.”

Leonard took a seat at one of the tables as Billie stepped up beside him. “Mr. Mayor, it is an honor to have your support at this charity for young children with disabilities. May I say how beautiful your wife Carla is?”

She looked over at Judy and me. “The one word that is taboo in your vocabulary this evening is ‘surprise’. Never ever say, 'I’m surprised you came. What a pleasant surprise Mr. Mayor.' You will not use the word. Period. It is an indication you didn’t think that person would show. That would be an affront to the person.”

“One of you will greet the mayor at some point in the evening. Give or take twenty minutes, the other will walk over and do the same thing. The reason you don’t do it together is I want Mayor Bryan to focus on each of you individually and remember your names. Later on in the evening both of you together will make the Mayor’s table a couple more times to drive the names home. In the future, as you host different causes and events, you won’t have any trouble receiving an audience with the Mayor and the press for your cause.”

“Elliot, your duties are a little less engaging and, I’m afraid, a little more boring. The men may want to talk politics with you. Don’t chose sides or name names, even if you have a preference. The women won’t talk socials with you because you’re not a girl. Some of them will try to seduce you. You’re a handsome young man. You would be another notch in their bedposts, so to speak. Their dreams of seducing the football star quarterback will bring out the blood lust in a few of them. Something they may or may not have accomplished when they were in school. Just be prepared and know what is coming.”

Elliot looked down at his feet before he looked back at Billie. He reached over and hugged Judy. “Yes ma’am. I have a girl. She’s prettier and sweeter than any other girl in the whole world. I’m not going to be tempted no matter what.”

I think that is the only time I ever saw my brother blush.

Looking back, the funny part is, it never registered at the time. I was driving home, big time in everyone’s mind from that evening on, I was Barbara. The girl from the children’s charity event.

Billie focused in on us. “Be yourselves this evening. Do NOT do anything you normally wouldn’t do. There will be liquor in abundance this evening to help loosen up their checkbooks. Don’t touch. Both of you may look over twenty one when you dress up. That does not mean you can try the drinks. Tug assured me you wouldn’t. I’m reminding you. There will be plenty of soft drinks this evening. Don’t drink out of the can or bottle. It isn’t done at these social affairs. Don’t ask one of the waiters to bring you a drink. They aren’t clued in. Make a trip to the kitchen, pour your drink into a liquor glass and make the social rounds.”

“I’ve been on the phone to both your parents since meeting you earlier. From what I heard I am not going to have to chaperone either of you. So…, I’ll see you around six thirty. The guests start arriving at around seven. The late comers will still be straggling in around eight or later. I want you to enjoy yourselves and have fun. Don’t worry about the small talk. Everyone you meet will be wanting to tell you all about themselves and their problems. Just be good listeners and pay attention. If you are asked what you do, tell them you are in school and leave it at that. Everyone will think you are in college. If they ask what you are majoring in, tell them business. That will put a damper on their prying into your private lives.”

“It has been said beautiful women are the hood ornaments. I doubt any of you understand that, as cars no longer have hood ornaments. Let’s put it in terms you may understand. Beautiful women are the ‘look at me wheels’ on a car. They do amazing things to the mind and testosterone of any man. Men want to attract the attention and show off for a beautiful woman. Like a peacock, they want to preen. Part of that is opening their pocketbooks. Thus the reason casinos have beautiful women circulating among the customers.”

She handed one of the pictures taken at the country club to Judy. “I expect to see those two beautiful ladies this evening. Any questions?”

I looked at Judy and Elliot before I turned my attention back to Billie. “Can we talk…? Privately?”

She put her arm around my shoulder. “Come. Let’s go have a private girl discussion.”

We were headed out in Elliot’s Mustang when Judy looked over her shoulder. While you and Billie were off talking I called mom. She managed to wangle us an appointment at Gale’s Beauty Parlor to touch up our hair. Gail has the magic touch when it comes to making someone look better than normal. You’ll like her. She’s a real sweetheart.”

That wasn’t the conversation I was interested in. “Thanks Judy. Elliot, when did you know?”

He glanced up into the rearview mirror at me. “About five years ago. Remember your birthday when dad bought you a football, baseball, a baseball glove, bat, and a basketball. Him and mom were so proud you were into sports like them and me. The little girl next door, Connie, was invited over. She gave you one of her Barbie dolls for a present.”

“You did a good show of being happy about getting all that sport gear. I don’t think mom and dad noticed that doll never left your side that day. If they did, they probably thought you were being nice. You never played with the doll in front of anyone after that. You kept it on the shelf by your bed. I know you slept with that doll. That was when I finally understood why you always helped mom in the kitchen. Why you and mom watch romance movies together. I thought you would tell mom and dad. When you didn’t, I talked to them. They realized after I told them, all the indications were there. You weren’t ever going to hurt them so you were never going to tell them.”

“The prom provided the perfect launch pad. The problem was getting you involved deep enough so you couldn’t back out after the prom. The earrings were Judy’s idea. If they couldn’t be removed then you couldn’t go back until they were. Actually, they can be removed anytime you want. That part was a lie.”

He glanced at me again. “I’ve never lied to you before and I promise I’ll never lie to you again as long as I live. I hope you forgive me for this one time.”

Judy turned around to look at me. “That goes for me too. I’ll never lie to you again. From here on out it’s your choice. Are you still going to the charity with me this evening or do you want to quit now?”

I sighed as I looked down at my dress. “I promised mom I’d be Barbara for a couple more weeks. Billie is a real woman isn’t she. She said I could be too. Not just pretend. I want to be like mom. I don’t want to pretend any more.”

FROM THE EDITOR: Please remember to comment and/or kudo the story. As you all know, it's the only way the author gets paid for the hard work of writing. Again, thank you to all those who have stuck with this story. I promise you won't be disappointed by the ending.

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Comments

And now the truth comes out

And now the truth comes out and Barbara is finally admitting the truth to herself. She finally had to get through her denial.

That last..

paragraph by Elliot is exactly where I'm stuck at now. This like a fantasy mixed of wishful thinking and just a touch of magic to me.

Great stuff.

"I don't want to pretend anymore" encompasses my hearts desire and as such is powerful writing. You know your audience.

Thanks for this.

WOW O_O

This has been a real rollercoaster of a story. I've had my emotions tugged in ways I don't always do. I'm really enjoying it and I cant wait for the finale.

I know who I am, I am me, and I like me ^^
Transgender, Gamer, Little, Princess, Therian and proud :D

It's nearly all over..

..or is it? (Please give us more)

I'm jealous of Barbara. She's so talented. And she has a family that love her enough to bring her true self out.

Only one more chapter to go. But I feel there is much more for Barbara to experience: Doing normal things on her own rather than being led by Elliott and Judy; Returning to school; Confronting the steps to become all woman; Developing a relationship with Tug?; Getting a job; Going it alone without Elliott and Judy.

Still so much scope, so please don't stop here.

almost girl

his reaction to hearing the earing was lie it was weird him not being mad at the two. what was the baby picture thing for or was that to get him dressed for being a girl. he was afraid of being found out and his brother told everyone it was him as a girl?

It was a love story

BarbieLee's picture

greyelf,

There are those who love another so much they will give up their dreams, their life, and hide their secrets to not hurt the ones they love. Buddy was "never" going to tell his family his emotions and desire to be a girl. They loved him as their son. He was going to full fill that role as long as possible because he loved them.

You've read about these girls. They finally make the choice to live their life at forty or fifty years old. Was he happy at the moment to be the queen in a play or for Halloween? Happiness was put away. Feigned or real, his fear was his secret would be found out and his family hurt.

There are as many reasons for waiting to make that change as there are girls who finally take that step. Each one uniquely personal to each boy-girl. Some receive loving support. Others nothing but hate because that person "killed" their brother (sister), their son (daughter), and took his (her) place. It is why strangers can readily accept the person in front of them. That person didn't take anyone's place in life.

Ever wonder if the boy-girl are the faeries? They are after all, wonderful unique creatures.

Oklahoma born and raised cowgirl

This is the whole story

Pamreed's picture

I sighed as I looked down at my dress. “I promised mom I’d be Barbara for a couple more weeks. Billie is a real woman isn’t she. She said I could be too. Not just pretend. I want to be like mom. I don’t want to pretend any more.”

I said that back in 1998 and haven't pretended since then!! I knew there were things we were not being told. Otherwise the story did not make sense. You know you could end the story right here and it would be fine. But I am selfish I want to hear Barbara being herself and knowing it!! Thanks Barbie for a wonderful story!! And Elliot is a sweetheart!!

Hugs,
Pamela

From the start of this story, I was 90% convinced ...

Jezzi Stewart's picture

... that this was the way the author wanted the story to go, because this is the TGfiction road most traveled. What was so frustrating was that almost all the evidence provided by the story, negative and positive, pointed to the sadistic conspiracy story I've described in earlier comments - the almost total lack of info on TG tendencies. The emphasis on how scared Buddy was of being outed as opposed to how much he liked what was going on, the lying to him, and mostly, for me, the constant laughing at him when he expressed his fear or displeasure. A happy ending just didn't make sense.

If early on instead of vague references to Halloween and school play drag photos (which it was hinted his Mom was behind) from years in the past , the story of the doll dropped on us in this chapter had been revealed there would have been greater cause for us to think a better balanced, "Hey, this could go either way.

By the time in the story where Buddy began to hint he liked what was happening, enough negative evidence had built up that his reaction could have been Stockholm syndrome.

My comments were never about the way I wanted the story to go, they were about how the story didn't make sense to me unless my sadistic conspiracy was true. To me, in this next-to-the-last chapter the author has thrown us a 180o and loaded the story with happy ending evidence.

There could always be a twist in the last chapter, but I hope I'm wrong. I like happy endings.

BE a lady!

Definitely waiting for the

Definitely waiting for the next chapter, and hopefully several more in the life of Lady Barbara Peck. Her name is very nice by the way. Was happy that she had a real awakening in finding that her Mother, Dad, Brothers all knew of their daughter/little sister and were there for her and would be always. Only wish that ALL those who live "in the shadows" had this same support in their lives. How marvelous that would be.

finally the back story to

finally the back story to fill in the gaps of why this was happening. definitely kept the interest in the story to wait till now to reveal it.

This is as I suspected.

The company that Tug works for will make her a full woman. This can all happen, but we will have to wait 50 years.

Nice Job

Gwen

Out of limbo...

It has to be good for Barbara to know where she is with her parents. She has grown in accepting herself. Why is Mom asking her to continue a few more weeks?

JessieC

Jessica E. Connors

Jessica Connors

Brilliant story

I am an absolute sucker for this type of story,I get so emotional,so keep this up,love it,love it.

Again...

Others mentioned it in their comments, but still...

"I don’t want to pretend any more." made me cry. Really, it did. Normally i can't wait for the next chapter, but this time i just want to savour this moment for a while. Thank you for this story!

Jolanda

Applause

Valcyte's picture

For a well-crafted story the has finally received the stamp of approval of ALL of its audience. And deservedly so!

Val

awesome

What a great story.

A few years age I made that choice to not pretend any more and I love it

Thank you so much for such a beautiful story.

Mickie

MICKIE

Elliot

I don’t want to pretend anymore I can feel that, I wish I had a sibling like Elliot.

hugs :)
Michelle SidheElf Amaianna