Dick On Jane

Printer-friendly version

See the story.

Funny, funny story.

Dick on Jane
By Angela Rasch

See Jane.

Jane is a girl.

Jane is a big girl.

Look, look

See the ball.

See the other ball.

See the balls.

Look, look

See the dick.

Up dick, up.

It is a big dick.

Look, look

Balls on Jane.

Look, look

Dick on Jane.

Funny, funny Jane.

Funny, funny dick.

Funny, funny dick on Jane.

Jane is a poof.

Funny, funny Jane.

Funny, funny poof.

Funny, funny dick.

Funny, funny dick on Jane.

Funny, funny poof.

I can make Jane run.

Run, Jane, run.

Run, poof, run.

Look, look.

See the stairs.

I can make Jane run up the stairs.

Run up the stairs Jane.

Run up the stairs, poof.

Run, Jane, run.

Run, poof, run.

Up, up, up.

Up, up, up.

Funny, funny Jane.

Funny, funny poof.

Up, up, up.

Up, up, up.

Jump, Jane, jump

Jump, poof, jump.

Funny, funny Jane

Funny, funny poof.

Look, look.

Down, Jane, down

Down, poof, down.

Look, look.

See the spot.

The End



~o~O~o~


Thanks to Gabi for the review and help.

I have donated a group of stories to BC to help generate revenue for this site. Erin has said that these stories have raised tens of thousands of dollars in revenue for BC. I don’t receive any of that revenue.

If you buy a book from this list, you’re supporting this site.

Stories available through Doppler Press on Amazon:
Shannon’s Course
Peaches
Sky
The Novitiate
Ma Cherie Amour
Molly
Texas Two-Step
All Those Things You Always Pined For
Uncivil
Swifter, Higher, Stronger
Basketball Is Life
Baseball Annie
The Girl Who Saved Aunt T’s
Her
She Like Me
How You Play the Game
Hair Soup
Perfectionists
Imperfect Futures
The Handshake That Hides the Snake

up
131 users have voted.
If you liked this post, you can leave a comment and/or a kudos! Click the "Thumbs Up!" button above to leave a Kudos

Comments

Thanks Bru

It was only after reading comments and rereading the story that I figured out from the "poof" word that Jane was being made fun of for dressing as she felt. And, while suicide is NEVER an answer, Angela used the whole Dick & Jane parody to drive the point home that abuse, verbal or otherwise should NEVER be permitted. We are, all of us humans the world over, living with fragile egos which must be fed and coddled or "Spot" is the result.

Well crafted Angela.

>>> Kay

Suicide Or Induced Murder?

joannebarbarella's picture

Could be either, but you make the point either way with the dialogue "poof". My guess? She was pushed, doesn't matter whether physically or by invective. Short and powerful.

You posted this years before I came here which accounts for me not reading it before, so thanks to that little box at the top right-hand corner,

Joanne

jane

Sorry but I think that was sick! There are too many people in trouble who seem to feel that suicide is the best way...

Zip

Funny, funny death?

laika's picture

Oh my gosh. You must have been in a darkly ironic place when you penned
such a grim little primer. So much self-loathing. I mean in Jane anyway,
if not in you as the author. This was almost as warped as my kid's book
Sue and Sue's Mommy Get Killed by a Tsunami...
~hugs, Veronica

Format gives the ending quite a impact

A reading primer is not what we usually associat with such dark themes.
Until the end I had a rather frivolous comment in mind. Then I realised it was NOT appropiate.

For the information of readers: The insertion of comments on this story is not exactly standard. The comment by Steph C is not a response to this comment (as can be seen by the dates)

Needing approval

Jamie Lee's picture

I can remember those Dick and Jane readers, which at the time may have been thought of as the best way to learn how to read. But when reading other books out loud, the pattern learned from the readers was used.

If this is about Jane committing suicide then she was driven to it by those who could not accept her change. And because she lacked self confidence and depended too much on her worth based on what others thought of her.

Had she had a strong sense of self worth, she would have told others who made fun of her to bugger off.

Too often we see ourself worth by how we are accepted by others, instead of looking within ourselves for that approval. Too many have eyes that have been clouded by what others say is acceptable and what isn't, and make it their business to make the lives of others a living hell.

Others have feelings too.

Not sick

Sharp, and very economical, and all too familiar. Yes, too many people kill themselves, but pretending it doesn'y happen won't help.

WOW 26 reads and no comments

Oh well someone has to be first. I found this to be a delightfully irreverant parody of the reading primer that I used as a first grade student many years ago. i've seen it used many times over those years but this is the first time in this particular vein. Well done.

Is this the right ending ?

Am i right in thinking that Jane went up the stairs and jumped to commit suicide? Or was the narrator the one that forced Jane to commit suicide? I am quite sure that spot was blood pooling after the fall. Could the author clarify this possibly?

Sephrena Miller