Revenge: A Story of Pleasure Island

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Revenge: A Story of Pleasure Island
By Christopher Leeson © 2014
Version date 082114

Author's Note: I had wanted in put in illustrations, but I can't figure out how to do that in Big Closet. (Give me a break; I'm an old man.) Some cookbook advice would be very helpful. In the meanwhile, at is a somewhat older version of the draft (from yesterday, but the changes are significant) with full illustration. This story should serve as a general introduction to the universe of Pleasure Island. If anyone is inspired by it, or by the Mana Universe that it is a part of, they are invited to try their hand with stories of their own. BTW, in this new version there is a bit of information that will help to explain what is going on behind the scenes in the earlier Mana Universe story here at BC: "The Dark of the Moon: A Sock in the Mouth."

* * * * *

Dean Fontain was too wild for his sedate parents to control. But their neighbors, the Boelkes, recognized what their friends were going through and told them about the secret that had changed their lives: the secret of Pleasure Island. What the Fontains learned that night astonished them and they couldn't help but think that their neighbors were playing a bad joke. They were actually saying that their pretty and well-behaved daughter Carla used to be a very bad boy, Carl.

"That's ridiculous," said Mrs. Fontain. "I remember when you brought that precious little girl home from the hospital eighteen years ago."

Mrs. Boelke shook her head and almost smiled. "There's magic involved. The first time you saw Carl as a girl, the enchantment he brought from Pleasure Island put false memories into your mind. We remember what really happened because the island people give parents a protective charm, but everyone else sees no change when a boy comes back different. Because of the spell you can't remember how badly Carl behaved, and even that you complained that he was tempting your Dean into so much trouble.”

“No,” replied Mr. Fontain curtly, “we certainly don't remember anything like that.”

"It's all true," said Mr. Boelke. The neighbors then offered to let the Fontains wear their charms overnight, telling them that the enchanted metal would take away all their false memories. Dean’s parents thought the idea was silly, but still something made them both go along with the joke. But by morning they knew that it was no joke. The charms had worked like, well, like a charm. They had awakened up knowing everything about Carl Boelke. The pair immediately went over to their friends’ home.

Carla was there with them, finishing the breakfast dishes. She was a pretty, upbeat teen who usually dressed in a way that would always catch the attention of the neighborhood boys. It was hard for the Fontains not to stare, now remembering what a sour loudmouth Carl Boelke had been.

To get some privacy for her visitors, Carla's mother gave the girl some money to spend at the ice cream shop. A minute later, Carla had gone out the door and the four adults were left free to confer.

"How did you find out about Pleasure Island?" Mrs. Fontain asked.

"A friend at the hospital told me," replied her neighbor. "She had a boy who was hooked up with drug dealers and she had found out about Pleasure Island just in time to save him. Now he's a cheerleader who's doing well in school."

Mr. Fontain reached into his pocket and handed back the charms. "These things took the wool away from our eyes. We'd give almost anything if Dean were just as well behaved as your Carla is, even if it means that we have to exchange a son for a daughter. But can't the Island people fix a boy's bad personality without changing his sex, too?"

"All I'm sur of is that there's a good reason why they don’t want to do it that way. A sexual reversal gives off an energy that they call mana and they're able to capture and store it for use later. A gender change is actually not what they're after; it’s just a by-product of the mana-harvesting."

Mr. Fontain frowned. "What exactly is mana?"

Mr. Boelke looked at him very seriously. "All we know is what we've been told. Mana is what magic is made of, and it's also the energy that makes some babies develop into males in the womb. Developing infants who don't have the mana-absorbing gene are born female. Have you see films about how a boy and girl fetus look exactly the same until after a period of development? They develop into different sexes because the baby with the mana-gene is drawing in mana that enables its development into a male. Remove that energy from a male, even when he is fully grown, and he will go to the human default form, female. Younger males have the most potent mana, so the wizards do all they can to recruit mana donors at a young age. But not at too young an age, because exploiting children is against another one of their rules. With parental consent, they can take the mana from an older child, because Pleasure Island has a law that says that a child is not a legal adult until twenty-one. If on Pleasure Island, a contract with the parents or legal guardian is makes donation without the boy's consent legal to to that age of maturity. They are not very much interested in taking mana from males over twenty-one for some reason."

"Hiring wizards must be expensive," Mr. Fontain suggested.

“Not very,” said Mr. Boelke.

This surprised the other couple. “Are you saying that they don’t care about money because because what they are really after is the mana?" asked Mrs. Fontain.

“It seems so. In fact, I've heard that they can make gold out of lead; money means little to them. They want mana."

"You're lucky that Carla turned out to be so pretty," Mrs. Fontain said. "I felt so sorry for the homely girls at my old school. They always seemed either angry or sad. A lot of the angry ones became feminists. They still say and do such strange things just because they were never the pretty little princesses that they always wanted to be."

Mrs. Boelke shook her head. "Becoming girls won't necessarily, make a boy pretty. Beauty is in their genes. But the Island people explained that ex-boys are always happiest as girls if they're popular. If sent home after the shock of having a sex-change, they might lash out and cause trouble. But if they're popular with their friends, it’s easier to enjoy their new life. Haven’t you noticed that except for Hollywood actors, popular people don't usually become troublemakers? They offered for no extra charge to use a little of Carl's mana to power a magic spell to make him angelic-looking, no matter what his genes said."

“What's the island like? They aren't rough with the boys, are they?” asked Mrs. Fontain.

"Not at all," Mr. Boelke assured them. "The management gives them all sorts of ways to have innocent fun. But any boy can get himself into trouble if he makes the effort. Once our fees were paid, the Island's reservation office sent Carl a registered letter. It said that he had won a free two-week vacation on Pleasure Island. That's the usual ploy they use to lure boys there without arousing suspicion.

"Carl was the type that didn't trust anything, so he checked on the internet and found that Pleasure Island really existed. He also found out that it was an independent island entirely without blue laws that affect older teens: no curfews, legalized drugs and bawdy shows, and a very low drinking age. He told us he was thinking about going. That's when we tried some negative psychology, telling him that it sounded like he would be allowed to run wild in Europe and that we didn’t think that sound like a good idea. He absolutely insisted on going after that.”

"Remembering what Carl used to be like,” said Mrs. Fontain, “I can understand how you would have been made desperate. But I can't believe that our Dean is totally bad, deep down. Pleasure Island seems so drastic."

Mr. Boelke smiled. As a neighbor of many years, he knew that Dean was Dennis the Menace to the nth degree, and had also been a thief and a vandal, a good Sundance Kid to Carl's Butch Cassidy. "We had to take the Island's word for it,” he explained, “but their people tell us that the magic doesn't work on good kids. They won't even accept boys that don't already have a long record of getting into trouble. They also won't take on faith everything that parents and guardians say about a boy. Some people might have motives to lie. Instead, they do their own background checks. In a little while, they confirmed that Carl's record was perfectly awful. Our councilor said that anyone as good at being naughty as our son would change very rapidly on Pleasure Island."

"Incredible," said Mrs. Fontain.

"They told us how it worked. On the enchanted island, bad behavior creates some sort of mystical catalyst, an energy field that allows the boy's mana to be tapped. Every day, bad boys acting bad will lose mana and that will make them more and more girlish, physically. At the same time, the Island enchantment starts the beauty-magic flowing. In a couple of weeks, they become just as lovely as their parents requested. But because it's all a magical process, the transformation happens under a powerful illusion. Certain psychic boys are able to see other guests changing, but almost never can they see themselves. Once they reach the point of complete physical and genetic femininity, they'll remain as girls, even after they leave the Island.

"Because the illusions conceal the truth, a boy won't become frightened or try to escape. As soon as he becomes a true she, the management gives him -- her -- new identity papers and sends her home. That is, unless her parents have already contracted to have the boy -- the former boy, that is -- sent to one of the special boarding schools on the mainland. Some of the pupils will have come from Pleasure Island, of course, but other wizards transform boys, too, and they need such help. In fact, I get the idea that these wizards use different techniques for harvesting mana. I heard of wizards posing as wandering miracle-makers, sensing out boys that would like to know more about what it's like to be a girl. The wizard will give the boy a little bottle of potion that lets them change when they want to. You see, as long as the wizard explains the rules and lets the boy make his own decisions, they have not broken the rules. Whenever the boy changes back, the wizards lose the mana they took. They hope that if you give a boy enough rope, he'll end up deciding to stay a girl, or else will break one the the taboo traps they put into the potion and will have to remain a girl permanently. I understand that their record of success is very high. Anyway, the schools for new girls have teaching techniques that help the young people adjust to a new way of life. If they don't, like Emily said, they can become very disruptive at home and any hope they will have for a good and satisfying life will be very small."

"I can imagine that Carl would have been furious," ventured Mrs. Fontain.

Mr. Boelke nodded. “We'd thought that he'd be easier to handle as a girl, but he -- she -- wasn't. We had to ask Pleasure Island for help."

"You sent him -- her -- to a school?" asked Mr. Fontain.

“No, we didn't want to send her so far away. They have sleep-teaching CDs that are very low-priced, but for such an important job, we chose the option of a private tutor, one who was licensed with the resort. The lady found a rental house over in Oakdale and we had Carla stay with her. Carla was a much better person when she came back. These days, we seldom need to give her a booster shot of the CD lessons. What she's learned has become a part of her own nature. I think it happened most profoundly when she got interested in boys. To attract a boy, a girl will naturally use the tried and true ways of real girls."

"I noticed she likes miniskirts," Mrs. Fontain offered.

"Yes, and makeup and scent, and frequent trips to the beauty parlor. I've even seen her practicing how to walk like in the mirror."

The Fontains looked into one another's faces, amazed and thinking about the possibilities.

* * * *

Dean's parents did some discreet inquiry and were able to back up independently many of the things that the Boelkes had been telling them. They wondered; did the government know that boys were being turned into girls? It had to be against the law, but, then again, crime was everywhere and the administration was dong nothing to stop it. If organized crime and terrorists could get around the laws that no one was enforcing, it was small wonder that wizards could, too. The couple used the contact number that the Boelkes had provided and started a negotiation with the resort representatives. In a week, the Island called back. They had confirmed that Dean was by all accounts a very bad kid. They said that they would be pleased to help change him for the better on Pleasure Island. It wasn't long before the younger Fontain was on a plane bound for his vacation spot. In just over two weeks, he -- she -- was back.

Like most former boys, Dean -- now Deanne -- was fit to be tied. She bawled out her folks and promised to call in the law for child abuse. That didn't go well. Social services only suggested to the Fontains that their daughter needed psychotherapy. Also, everyone in the neighborhood had magically forgotten about Dean. Whenever she told anyone the truth, she only creeped them out and sounded like a nut case. When she got some documents proving she had been male, the bureaucrats simply corrected the errors and made her officially female in their record. She sulked in her room for days, until concocting a scheme to get even. If her folks were expecting to get a good girl out of all this, she was going to give them just the opposite. She intended to make them sorry that they had ever asked for a daughter.

Deanne had a stash of cash left over from Dean's occasionally illegal activities. This she used to buy the sexiest outfits on the Internet and went to school wearing them. Her parents were scandalized, but she didn’t stop there. She did everything she could to upset them. And Deanne was always very public about her misbehavior, wanting the whole town to know that the Fontains didn't know how to raise a girl right.

Moreover, being just as hormonal as Deanne as ever Dean was, she hooked up with the best-looking gay girls in school and openly took them to the hot spots. That cost a lot, and so she started stealing again. At first, Deanne didn't care much for girl-on-girl sex, but it was an acquirable taste and she started liking it more and more. She also began casting her net wider to get action out of some of the naive and inexperienced girls who weren't natural lesbians. Best of all, Deanne knew that her folks, being traditional types, were being devastated by all the scandalous talk.

Then, one day, the pattern changed. Deanne noticed how super the class president, George Gravely, looked. She tried to fight the attraction, but over the next few days she realized that a lot of other boys were looking ultra-cool, too. She thought she was losing her mind. Even though Carla used her formidable will power to steer clear of the attractive boys, she would lie awake for hours having fantasies about being with them. As for the girls, it soon became hard even to remember their faces. How could she, with boys occupying so much of her mind? Pretty soon, Deanne thought she'd burst if she didn't soon get her arms around a real live boy.

Deanne didn't know that her desperate parents had sent for a set of Pleasure Island sleep-teaching discs. Deanne would hear the lessons subliminally, without being aware that she was receiving lessons -- lessons that urged her to accept new patterns of behavior and attitudes common with teenaged girls. Each night after midnight, the hidden device in Deanne room would start up and play discs from a set called "The Lesbian Cure."

After a couple weeks of the Cure, Deanne's revenge plot fell apart, totally. She stopped hanging with the girls, but came up with lots of different excuses to meet boys. At first, when cornered all alone with some randy guy, she'd get furious at all the aggressive kissing and groping. But because she was acquiring a new ways of looking at things, Deanne always came back for more. She lost her old attitudes against having sex with boys. She wasn't always choosy about whom she hooked up with, but the wild and crazy ones – especially the band guys -- were her favorites.

But if she wasn't choosy, Deanne also wasn't always wise -- certainly not about safe sex.

A few months of intense social activity, life slammed her with a shocking surprise. As soon as the Fontain's discovered what was bothering their daughter, they moved swiftly. Every night, in every room in the house, they played the disc "Proud Mommy, Happy Mommy."

Deanne graduated and had her baby three months later. It didn't take long for her to get her figure back. Needing a job, she signed with a modeling agency, which sounded like easy work and she was naturally lazy. It turned out not to be so easy, but it suited her. At first Deanne attracted wide notice for doing cheesecake-style car and motorcycle advertising, and then her agent lined her up with some really glamorous gigs, swimsuit issues, and such. Her career was going so well that it was like Deanne had fairy godparents somewhere looking out for her. She was able to help out her parents by contributing generously to the household expenses. Furthermore, as a proud and happy parent herself, she started putting some money each month into a child's college fund.

The End

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Maggie_Finson's picture

Even though...

I've seen the new Eerie Saloon story coming out it is good to see an independent one from you. Glad you're still around.


So where is this island

So where is this island again, I have a few boys that I know that I am more than will to offer to those who work their magic on the island. (Said with a large smile) Janice Lynn

Let's See More

I know that the story was intended to introduce the universe -- which it did well enough, but I'd have liked to see scenes of the actual transformations, both the physical one and the mental one, rather than read the "summaries" of them in the narrative.

Maybe, in the next Pleasure Island story, you'll do that.

Let's See More

I have to stick to the possible, Ellie. I wrote Revenge when I had a little time available. If I waited for time enough to a write much larger story, that time often never comes. I am happy to have at least bulled my through the rough draft of SPELLCASTER'S HEIRESS in odd moments (it is now being posted at The Full TG Show). I'm still polishing that rough, so time for anything else of length is short. In fact, short stories are not really my thing. I have a big-picture outlook; I had to learn by trial how to do a story of 2 or 3 thousand words. My model was the sort of short-short story that uses the summary style to introduce a lot of material that would have taken many pages to give in detail. SPELLCASTER'S HEIRESS was, by the way, conceived of as a 6 volume saga. It was meant to take the knight Rodin from his transformation to her victory over her enemies, a story of change, challenge, crisis, and evolution all along the line. I thought retirement would make big projects easier, but even without a day job I can't do nearly as much as I want to.

One idea I had in offering Pleasure Island in the way that I did is to see if anyone likes it enough to write their own stories in the universe. It is easier for most of us to read than to write. And if the story is written well, the reading is more pleasurable than to read one's own, any since one's own story holds no surprises after the first draft. I have roughed out more short pieces of Pleasure Island, and I want revise and post them, but where can I find time for something longer? I actually did start a novel/novelette set in Pleasure Island last year. But other commitments, such as to SPELLCASTER'S HEIRESS, made rapid progress impossible. For me, writing is momentum: get an exciting idea and hurry through to the end, before the drive of excitement fades, is the plan. When I interrupt a longer story, I almost never can get back to it. Any new excitement will carry me to another and fresher project instead. Because of this, I've learned to aim for shorter tales in the hope of finishing them, because having to abandon a longer work is something that carries long regret.

Another thing I'm doing is producing start-up universe tales, like "Dark of the Moon", "Hide and Seek," and "To the Mana Born," trying to craft them as complete enough in themselves to be enjoyable. Then, time permitting, more episodes can be written to follow them. So far I haven't found the plots and excitement to carry through on that plan for any of them. But among my newer things, Revenge, Dark of the Moon, and To the Mana Born are all set in the Mana universe. At the moment, my longer-range plans for more substantial stories do not include Pleasure Island, as pleased as I am regarding that milieu. Don't groan; I have something else that I think is pretty good coming. I think it shall be unveiled not too long after I finish my posting of SPELLCASTER'S HEIRESS, which will probably be in October. If things go well, the new substantial piece can start before Christmas.


I feel like I should quote Stark here

"He was your son. Now he's gone, and there's this ... thing ... living in his body ... a perfect little puppet"

They basically "killed" the boys making them over, and even if they were "bad boys" that's pretty darn harsh.


Beyogi's picture

Yeah... that pretty much

Yeah... that pretty much summed up my thoughts too. I mean holy hell, they started out with problem kids, whose problems they likely caused themselves. And then went for a forced sexchange and mindrape to "solve" them. Ugh...

Yeah...that pretty much

Amazing! "Revenge" uses a plot that is common in many types of tg story. Now I'm curious. Does every one of the hundreds of tg writers who bring about extreme personality changes in their heroes get this sort of commentary for every story of theirs? "Brainwashing" is in fact a standard motif on multiple erotic sites, so shouldn't every reader expect it to come up once in a while? Out of the massive literature that already exists, why should this particular tale be specially cited, apparently for its harshness? Look at the big picture. Most of the heroes of Pleasure Island are bound for lives of crime and will do untold injury to innocent people, and also to themselves -- probably suffering prison and early deaths. Society is, in fact, all about changing evil behavior, though, sadly, it is not very good at it. And I don't buy into the idea that everything is the parents' fault. Some criminals come from good homes, some from bad. Some great people have come from bad homes. It is at least as arguable to say that evil mostly comes from inside the evil-doer. Consider, Butch Cassidy, the Western outlaw, the only bad kid in what seems to have been a large and decent family.

If a fictional personality-death is so harsh, how much worse is physical death imposed for crime in real life? In the P.I. universe, it at least isn't a jury of strangers, made up of people who really don't care about the good of the accused, that does the judging. It's the parents of troubled and troublesome boys who are trying to save their children. It is a shame that the members of society cannot respect the free will of everyone, but in fact we can't. Each time a murderer or robber is sent to prison or the gallows, isn't his free will (to go out and kill or rob more) being violated? Should we tell people who don't like killing and robbing that if they want to be honest and decent themselves, they should not impose their prejudices (against crime and violence) on others, not even their own children? To say such a thing is moral relativism run amuck.

Pleasure Island is not offered as any moral standard; it is right up front that it is an amoral place of commerce -- something is given for something received. What is the Fontain's aim? To see their child living a good life. What does Deanne receive? She becomes a proud and prosperous professional with a growing family to love; how bad a fate is that, considering what the male Dean might have gotten into? Personality death? I don't think so. Deanne and Carla still remember who they were and where they came from. It's all about attitude change, something much less drastic. Anyway, it's only a story meant to entertain, and there are worse forms of entertainment. Like, public executions are occasions of entertainment for many.

Pleasure Island is derived from the Pleasure Island of the Pinocchio story. Pinocchio is a children's story, for crying out loud. My modern Pleasure Island is a nicer place compared to the original one, the one that children are encouraged to watch on G-rated TV. Isn't it more horrible to turn a boy into a donkey and work him to death in foul living conditions, than to turn him into a girl and raise him as a beloved daughter? I'm not saying that it is better to be a girl than a guy, but it's arguably better to be kind and giving rather than greedy and rapacious. If one doesn't care to think on the implications of the story too deeply, he can still enjoy it for the eroticism of the concept. After all, a very great number of tg stories are read for their erotic aspects.

I'm sorry, Christopher

there's nothing wrong with the story and I would never want any author to feel they couldn't move a story in whatever direction it needed to go.

Its just that even a prisoner has some choices, and rehabilitation is possible for anyone not totally a psychopath. Maybe a short stay in juvie might convince the boys that there are better ways to spend their time. Or not, which would be their choice too. Its one reason why I don't like the death penalty except for the most extreme cases.

But this kind of brainwashing removes those choices, so what's left of the person they were?

As someone who went through some pretty horrific attempts to have their choices taken from them, occasionally a fiction story hits me in that soft spot.

But that's on me, not you.

So please, keep writing!



I thought when I saw "Revenge" in the title, it might have referred to the probably rarer story in which the changee gets some kind of revenge on those who caused his change. And in a sense, Deanne did here. She didn't become the good little girl the parents wanted -- at least not until after she got pregnant, graduated, and gave birth to a child. How scandalous was this?

"Even though Carla used her formidable will power" -- typo here? You meant "Deanne" of course. (How many times have I made that kind of typo? Probably quite a few.)

It would be nice if Deanne had in the back of her mind a desire for revenge, and eventually get around to it. Ideally it would be done legally. A possible line of attack might occur in that apparently the old records never got spontaneously changed but had to be actively changed. Unfortunately, with magic and mind-control, legal revenge or retaliation is a very iffy proposition. (With mind-control, even getting to revenge becomes iffy.)

Mind-control has to be fought with -- shocks, jolts, mind-control, something.

This reminds me that I have to get busy with "Alice's Revenge."

Only you, Christopher, could get away with it.

You break the cardinal rule of amateur fiction ('Show, don't tell'); this is almost all 'telling', hardly any 'showing', yet I'm hooked, and desperately want more. Yes, I too dislike 'identity death'. But you've made it perfectly clear that this isn't. The girls still remember their past as boys; indeed if they didn't, they wouldn't be so cut up about the changes! Loving Forced Femisation 'for your own good' - now that's much more my line.

But I would like to know more, I'd like to know the stories of some transformed boys. I haven't yet read 'The Dark of the Moon...', but 'To the Mana born' is one of my favourites. (I love its structure; the actual transformation takes place off-camera, and in the last couple of paragraphs!) Do I have to write the stories myself? It's generous of you to create open universes; I do have pretensions as an author, but who could hope to emulate Christopher Leeson?
By the way, what's the difference between the 'Pleasure Island Universe' and the 'Mana Universe', if the two aren't the same?


Only you, Christopher, could get away with it.

Hi, Kandijayne.

The comment you make about To the Mana Born sounds familiar. I remember reading and enjoying it.

I explain in a letter above why I chose to break the cardinal rule of amateur fiction. In fact, Ellie and I live by that rule for Eerie, AZ. But the result is that one has to be ready to write 400-500 word novels when characters are many and issues are complex. Even the bits of dialog between the Fontains and the Boelkes takes a disproportionate amount of space. I used dialog to try to explain the Why of the story, why would parents want to do what they do. Once that was done, there was no space to give Deanne's reaction to her new life, not if I didn't want to make a much longer story.

Writing is, alas, only a small piece of what I do to keep my days busy. I needed to find a way to write shorter pieces if I was going to get much new work completed. To develop a scene, using dialog, takes a lot of space and time. What I have experimented with is to take the common structure of the short-short story (which seems to me has a lot of show, not tell), and used it to tell an even bigger story, in the 2000-4000 word range. Any of these P.I. stories could be novelettes, but I'm working on two novels simultaneously right now (and planning work on still another one soon), so I'm lucky to have a day free now and then to write something new. If I can get an entire rough out, I tend to be able to polish it to a publishable state eventually. (By the way, I just roughed out "Carla's story" yesterday). It's rewarding to get items up here at BC; the comments are more numerous and livelier. Over at TFTGS, where I have "Spellcasters Heiress," I haven't had one comment yet. I think some of the problem is the requirement to be a registered member in order to post a comment, but I'm not even sure about that.

Please do write a Pleasure Island story. I feel great when some enjoys a universe of mine enough to write his own stories in it. Over at TFTGS there are several vignettes about P.I. that have more information that should help a writer.

Are the Mana Universe and Pleasure Island the same? Yes, but there's a difference. The different groups of wizards that harvest mana have different methods. The methods used in Dark of the Moon, To the Mana Born, and P.I. are not the same. The Mana universe is the big umbrella idea that contains all these different groups. P.I. is one of these groups, but it has a lot of individual detail that organizes it, justifies it, and makes the operation work the way it does. Consider that the Mana Universe is like history in the age of the Victorians. Then think of Pleasure Island as the Wild West within that global universe. It requires special attention. It's sort of a wicked take on Fantasy Island, which makes telling its story especially enjoyable.

I'll be bringing more P.I. along, but they won't be long pieces; the time is lacking. But if someone writes a longer story, that would be good. They might even come up with some ideas that can be adopted into the official mythology.

And do read "Dark of the Moon" when you can. Its focus is about how two teens who are social washouts and have a lot of frustrated resentment against the girls who ignore them, look at the experience of being girls themselves temporarily, one willingly, one unwillingly. Not having much personal experience with girls, they are guided by movies, tv, and social media; I hope it's as funny as I find it to be.

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