Easy As Falling Off A Bike pt 2496

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The Daily Dormouse.
(aka Bike, est. 2007)
Part 2496
by Angharad

Copyright© 2014 Angharad
All Rights Reserved.
  
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I couldn’t get back to my survey work, I was too worried about Danielle. She’d taken to most girly things like a duck to water. She was occasionally a little gauche but she is only thirteen. She rarely appears without some makeup, though her skills in application have improved enormously possibly assisted by Julie and Phoebe, who are experts and I know have given their younger sister some advice from time to time.

I wondered if the makeup was worn to disguise her previous identity as a boy, or to reinforce her girl identity, or possibly because she just likes wearing it. I thought back to my days in the grotty bedsit where I spent hours practising with makeup. Eyeliner and lip outlines were the easiest to mess up. With the former, I wanted a fine line which tapered from the outside of the eye towards the nose. I’d get one eye almost perfect and mess up the second. Once or twice I made one of my eyes quite sore cleaning off the messy eyeliner to try again. Then one day it clicked, helped by a better quality brush, and most of the time I get it as I want it nowadays—when I can be bothered to wear it.

As for lips—I could never get the upper lip to match on both sides. I tried all sorts of methods, lip pencils, brushes, applicators and so on. Then I just relaxed and applied it from a lipstick directly and it looked all right. I’m sure if I’d looked carefully, I’d have noticed some sort of anomaly, but as I wasn’t posing for close up photos, I decided it was okay. It’s what I usually do today when I wear lipstick, which isn’t often. I don’t use skin makeup or blusher or concealer—unless I have a spot on my face—I usually go au naturel. Danni, like many teenagers, looks as if the front of her face tanned very evenly but below or behind her jawline, it missed the sun.

The school doesn’t like girls to be wearing much makeup, but it will allow a bit of mascara and fine eyeliner, or eyebrow colour. The parents undertake not to let the girls dye their hair outlandish colours, such as pink or green. One girl who did turn up with green hair—to match her school blazer—was sent home, which I was told later was why she did it. Her older boyfriend was home from university and her mother was out at work. She left a while later to be homeschooled during her pregnancy.

I was concerned by Danni’s original interest in things feminine which was more transvestite than anything, enjoying the fetishistic side of things. It was what got her into trouble, practising with Peter who later called himself Pia, in crossdressing and wearing makeup. I had no problem with her being a crossdresser if that was what she enjoyed until Pia struck and my son began to resemble another daughter and would never have children of his own.

I know it’s possible to rebuild male genitalia after a fashion presumably using techniques perfected on female to male transsexuals, but how functional or effective such surgeries are, is questionable. So far Danni hasn’t said she wants to try them, which lets me hope she won’t. At the same time I suspect she possibly won’t fit into a neat box as female, in the majority view. But then again, do I? How many women enjoy tinkering with bicycles, truing wheels or even building them from scratch? I do.

It’s funny, in a logical way, I can see myself as a normal but infertile female, who functions as a normal thirty year old busy professional woman, who also happens to have a large family. It’s only when I start the self doubt stuff that I get all emotional about it and think I’m a fake. Danni still sees Stephanie about once a month unless we have issues—she’s due to see her next week—which I hope is helping her. Like most adolescents, she doesn’t often talk about these things, perhaps because they can’t. It might be too personal for their self-consciousness to cope with.

I tell her I love her for herself regardless of gender or anything else, but for her core self, or himself if that is how she sees things. I don’t know, she doesn’t tell me. At the moment, she’s acting and treated as female.

It’s interesting but she’s kept hold of the later Gaby stories where it appears that Gaby’s female biology is taking over. Okay, unlike Gabs, she can’t have periods or possibly have children, the irony of the boy stuck in a female body while starting off as a boy pretending to be a girl, and the reluctant acceptance of this position by our heroine, possibly mirrors in some ways Danielle’s situation. She’s reluctantly accepting her girlhood because she has to cope with her body, whereas most male to female transsexuals refuse to cope with their bodies and thus want to change them. Gosh, this is getting deeper than some of those bids I’ve tendered.

I went back to my survey—except I couldn’t—I had no stomach for it tonight. It was ten o’clock and I went in search of a cuppa even though I knew I’d probably have to pee in the night. Simon was watching football so after handing him a mug of tea I went into the kitchen and looked at the paper. The crossword was set by Rufus supposedly the easiest ones. I did it in just over twenty minutes. I’ve done it faster but not at this time of night.

Tom shuffled into the kitchen to rinse his whisky glass and I could smell it on his breath as he pecked me on the cheek as he wished me goodnight. I loved this old man, he was such a good surrogate father to me and I’m sure his generosity in adopting me when I was racked with self doubt about so many things, his cooperation in allowing my ever expanding family to fill his home, has kept me sane or even saved my life.

He always claims it’s the other way round, my occupation of his house, his department and much of his life, has saved his life—given him a reason to live—so he says. How can I argue with that? We do argue over many things, often he’s right, but as a wilful child, I have to test it first, just as Danielle and her older sisters test me. It seems to be part of the interaction of the parent child relationship, although her older sisters aren’t much younger than I am. The younger ones push the boundaries as well but at the moment that’s a little easier to cope with but I know it will get tougher, especially as Trish and Livvie are so bloody clever. I hope I can keep them safe, possibly from their own cleverness, until they mature enough to look after themselves. With Trish, that might never happen, she is seriously intelligent, and that doesn’t always bode well for practical living, so we could be stuck with each other while she exercises her huge brain to improve science or whatever interests her and I and whoever is still with Simon and I, try to keep her grounded.

I glanced at the clock, it was bedtime.

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Comments

I Love This Chapter

littlerocksilver's picture

Because it says so much about the real woman Cathy is, and it says so much about our beloved author. I think I'll have a figurative cry.

Portia

That was wonderful, Angharad,

That was wonderful, Angharad, thank you!

Kris

{I leave a trail of Kudos as I browse the site. Be careful where you step!}

Yes, I think...

Yes, I think it is bedtime. I stayed up longer than I should, to be honest. Inertia will do that.

I have wondered about Danni, of and on... I hope she doesn't grow to regret not having children of her body (or perhaps to have medical science get to the point where whichever set of functioning bits she wants can be made available). That's my one concern with kids who transition early... It takes their genes out of the gene pool... Which may not be for the best for humanity. One can never tell, of course. Just like we couldn't go back and take a different path than the one we took. Guess I really am getting sleepy talking like this. LOL

G'night. Hope all goes well with Cathy and company.

Annette

These episodes keep me anchored.

Once in a while I need a break from shattering the crystal structure of genderland, and these episodes provide a bit of sanity.

How I can relate to Cathy and

How I can relate to Cathy and her worries about Trish and Livvie.
Their older sisters definitely need to sit the two girls down and explain how the world works outside of books and school, because they will both need that knowledge to survive in real life, at least as they show and come across to Cathy, Simon, and the rest of the family right now.
I have twin grandchildren, age 16. A boy and a girl, both of whom are beyond smart. (straight "A" grades since Kindergarten). I have told them, there are 'book smarts' which they truly have, and then there are 'street smarts' which they need to know, understand, and be able to use to function in both 'worlds'.

Cathy's make up tactics are much like mine.

Most days for me it's just a bit of lippy and then onward and outward. If I really go overboard then it's eyebrows and a touch of eye shadow. The white hair (head and jaw) is a mixed blessing. Hair is easy to dye and takes any colour readily but mostly wash-out pinks and purples when going 'crazy-clubbing'. Pure white beard is a very mixed blessing. It means laser is totally ineffective but on the other hand there is no beard visible for two days after shaving. Even on the third day there is no shadow but just a faint 'peach-fuzz' that is only really detectable by feeling with back of hand.

This means no beard cover is necessary, nor foundation, nor powder (oh the luxury!) Eyeliner is a definite no-no. Nothing looks weirder that black or brown eyeliner with pure white hair. I look like some sort of racoon or badger.

Do I 'pass'? Well it doesn't seem to matter these days in the UK. I don't get any hassle and only the occasional second look. My friends who certainly pass have no problems inviting me out even if it means my 'outing' them by association. They are getting as bold as I am and tell me this with some satisfaction.

The Palace Hotel, Bristol, Sept 4th.jpg

The notorious 'Welsh Invasion' Universally known and accepted at many clubbing venues and restaurants all around Cardiff and Bristol.

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I guess Trish

will always be a bit of an handful, We have seen plenty of examples of it over the last few years, Not so sure Livvie is quite as impulsive as her sister though, Hopefully it will stay that way One really high spirited super intelligent girl is hard work, Two would mean Cathy would have to book in at the hairdressers for a hair colour .... Not really sure grey would suit her ....

Kirri

More introspection

Will it lead to greater self-confidence? I hope so.