My Life as a Lie (part 3)

Printer-friendly version

Chris whipped through traffic. His gaze shifted between the road and the rearview mirror, hoping he wouldn't see any blue and red lights. Relief washed over him as he pulled into the parking lot. Too bad he was still late for his appointment. He sprinted into the building hoping that Dr. Anson wouldn't be mad at him.

Dr. Anson was standing just outside his office talking with what only Chris could guess was his previous appointment. He made his way over to them and when the doctor noticed him he quickly shooed away the other patient.

"Sorry about that. I hope you weren't waiting too long out there."
"I actually just got here. I was running a little bit late."

Dr. Anson smiled back at Chris as he took a seat in one of the two soft, leather chairs in the room. He motioned for Chris to sit in the other one. Chris sank deep into the couch and felt his entire body relax in an instant. When he was here, he was safe. He no longer needed to hide anything.

"So did you open up to anyone yet?"
"No I haven't. I just can't seem to work up the courage to tell anyone."

He thought the doctor would be disappointed about that. Chris was surprised when he saw the doctor just continue to smile at him as if nothing was wrong.

"It's ok Chris. It's a big step. I want you to take it when you're ready. So how has everything else been this week?"

Chris didn't know where to begin. There was the headaches, the lack of sleep, the nausea. He could easily talk about his mother and how much she tried to wedge her way into his life. For some reason though, he felt like starting elsewhere.

"It's been a weird week. I've been trying to figure out a way to ask out this girl at work. I've tried a few times to get together with her but she keeps brushing me off. Plus, I don't know if I'm ready."
"Why do you think you're not ready?"
"Well I mean, after everything that happened with my ex I just don't know if I can be in a relationship right now. I know I want to be but at the same time I know I'm not in the healthiest state of mind. How am I supposed to start a relationship with someone without them knowing who I really am?"

His heart sank as the memories of his ex-girlfriend came back. They had broken up well over a year ago but she still haunted his life. She was like a tornado that tore through his life and left nothing but destruction in its path. She was the reason he hadn't opened up to anyone because he had with her.

"Just because your ex didn't approve doesn't mean that it will happen again. I do have to say that I don't think you're ready for a relationship just yet and that's because no one knows the true you. They only see this mask that you were and never see what lies beneath."
"I know but I just can't do it. I can't tell anyone."

Chris' foot started to bounce up and down. The thought of exposure made him uncomfortable. Exposure meant that he would be putting himself out there and that meant that he could be hurt. He didn't want to deal with anymore hurt in his life. His inner battle already did enough of that for him and his past was even worse.

"I just can't. I don't want to get hurt again."

A familiar pain rose up behind his eyes. He could feel the tears forming but like always they didn't want to come out. His arms guarded him from his fears. His hands were losing circulation because they were being squeezed so hard.

"Ashley, it's going to be ok."

Those six words caught her completely off guard. Really, it was just one word that did all the work. Ashley. It was her name. Her true name. The name she had chosen.

"That's the first time anyone has called me that."

A tear slowly slipped down her cheek as she smiled at Dr. Anson.

up
62 users have voted.
If you liked this post, you can leave a comment and/or a kudos! Click the "Thumbs Up!" button above to leave a Kudos

Comments

"Ashley, it's going to be ok."

I hate to disagree, but I don't think it will be okay unless she finds the courage to come out. Closets are good for clothes, but not great places to live ...

DogSig.png