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“You know the worst mistake I ever made?” “No, Toni, what’s that?” “Giving you up.” “You’re drunk.” “Yeah, but I still think it was the worst mistake I ever made.” “Oh really? You seemed pretty damn sure about it that day back in the hospital five years ago.” |
I was roused from my sleep by my cell phone ringing. A glance at the clock told me it was almost 10AM, and I tried to shake the cobwebs from my head. I hadn’t slept this late in a long time, but it felt good. I picked up the phone and saw it was a 607 area code.
“This is Toni.”
“Hey fucker...” came the unmistakable voice of Opiee.
“What the hell man, the sun isn’t even up yet. Someone better be dead.” I joked to him.
“Mu Theta Weekend. We're getting a list together of Alumni who are coming.”
“Oh, so someone’s GOING to die.” I kidded back to when we had to rush Hulk to the hospital for a case of AP.
“Hopefully not this year. So you coming?”
“When is it?”
“May 2nd.”
“Hold on let me check my day planner.”
“What the hell... little miss super star doesn’t have a PDA yet?” he asked with a laugh.
“Piss off, I prefer it on paper, it’s harder to steal that way... May 2nd? That’s an off weekend so yeah... put me down. It’ll be good to see the old crew and find out what kind of brain dead pot smoking tree huggers we have running things now.” I said laughing.
“Nah, it’s a good group now. I’ll see you then,” he told me as he hung up.
Time passed quickly between that call and the weekend. Jess finished 2nd in her first race in the IRL, but only because we lost a lap in the pits with a fuel rig malfunction. Her first win came at Texas, and then she backed it up at Chicago. So we had good momentum heading into INDY.
I had asked around the shop if anyone knew where I could get some white lightning. One of the local boys told me his grand-pa made the best hooch in the state. So I got a few bottles from him for the gang and went up to NY for one last weekend of fun before the insanity that is the month of May at INDY.
I pitched my tent like I always do in the bed of my truck and then helped the guys start the bon fire. I had brought a few gallons of racing gas with me to help things along and before the first beers were finished we had a blazer going. I was sitting there playing cards with the guys when Opiee came up and grabbed my shoulder.
“Come with me. There’s someone you need to see.”
“What is Thumper finally shown up to one of these things?” I asked with a giggle, as none of the original four founders had been heard from since we got our charter.
“Just follow me,” he said dragging me out of the pavilion to the camping area.
Once there I saw a woman finishing pitching her tent. She stood up and tossed her dark hair over her shoulder, and it dawned on me that I knew who it was.
“Mandy?” I asked, thinking it was my ex, Sarah’s younger sister. “Where’s Hawkeye?” I asked inquiring about her fiancé.
“Mandy and JD will be along in a few. It’s me... Sarah you dumb bitch.” She told me with a glare.
My mouth dropped wide open and I just looked at her. When we were dating, Sarah had a couple extra pounds on her. I always referred to her as a BBW, but she kept insisting she was too heavy. She was my best friend before we started dating, and I always thought she was perfect as she was.
“Wow, you look.... amazing.” I told her trying to bring myself back to reality.
“Thanks, I’ve been losing weight for Mandy’s wedding. I want all three of us sisters to be in the same size dress.” She was of course making reference to Marah, the now 20 year old baby of the family.
“So how is everyone doing?” I asked trying to make small talk.
“Oh, Mar is in Harvard studying law, Mandy and James finally set a date. Dad made department supervisor, so he and mom bought a house down in PA. And I’m teaching English as a second language, back in Syracuse.”
“Wow, congrats. I’m sure your students love you as their professor.”
“It’s fun. I really take pride in knowing I’m making a difference in someone’s life.”
“Good. Hey, can I get you a drink? We have cola. I also brought some Mountain Dew.” I joked as to the last time I saw her on Dew, she about killed Opiee from the sugar over-dose.
“Actually, I brought water with me, so I’m good.”
Just then one of the guys called that the food was ready. So we went and ate. Sarah and I sat by the fire and chatted about our lives and how they were going. I was feeling pretty tipsy from the beers and the few swings of Grand-pa Howard’s home-made hooch. So I bared my heart to Sarah.
“You know the worst mistake I ever made?”
“No, Toni, what’s that?”
“Giving you up.”
“You’re drunk.”
“Yeah, but I still think it was the worst mistake I ever made.”
“Oh really? You seemed pretty damn sure about it that day back in the hospital five years ago.”
“That was out of frustration. Besides, I wanted you to be able to live your dream of having a family. How was I going to be able to give you kids of your own.”
“You already did dumb ass.” She told me taking a swig of her water. It took a moment for it to register in my brain cells that were marinading in malted hops.
“What do you mean I already did? You never had a kid with me.” I looked at her confused.
“Shows what you know. What do you think I needed to tell you that day you woke up and then pushed me out of your life?”
“Wait... what?” I was trying to clear my head, and trust me nothing sobers you up quicker then someone hinting that they had your child.
“That weekend we celebrated our 2 year anniversary, the weekend before you went down for hell night.” she glared at me. “Remember? We made love about 10 times in Niagra Falls.”
“You mean... that you... and I.... we...” I was trying to find the way to say it.
“Yes Toni, I got pregnant,” she told me as she started to tear up. All I could do was just look at her dumbfounded. It was worse news than being told my father died, or when Brit died. Here I was going on like a happy asshole, and she was raising my child, ALONE!
“Sarah, I didn’t know. You should have told me.”
“I tried but your mom just ushered me out of the place then had a nurse escort me out of the hospital. Didn’t your dad tell you? I sent him pictures.”
“No, he never said a word. But I did find a card after he passed with a picture of you holding a baby. “First Christmas” I think it said on it.”
“Yeah, and I sent him one every year until he passed. He also came to every one of Patrick’s birthday parties.”
I started to ball my eyes out at having missed the first five years of my child’s life. Then it dawned on me what she had just said, “Patrick,” a son. I had a son.
“You named him Patrick?” I asked, not really sure I heard her right.
“Yes I did. Patrick Michael Trepasso-Hogan Junior,” she told me with a cold look on her face that sent a chill down my spine. She named my son after me and I never even knew I had a son.
“Excuse me, I need to be alone.” I told her as I grabbed my beer and wandered off into the woods.
I walked over to the cliffs that were on the outer edge of the grounds we were on and just sat there as the sun went down, thinking and drinking. My bottle went dry just as the last bit of light faded from the sky.
“FUCK!” I yelled as I heaved my bottle into the side of the cliff.
“Feel better now?” a female voice asked from behind me. I turned and it was Sarah.
“No, I feel like a complete ass now.”
“Don’t be. For what it’s worth, I told Pat the whole story, and he watches you every week on TV.”
I let out a laugh of frustration. “Oh, great, my own kid thinks I’m a freak. Well you see son, your dad fell face down in a puddle of toxic waste and turned into a woman. Great one Sarah. Scar the kid for life.”
“Shut up you drunken bitch. I told him that you had a sex change. Willingly. I didn’t tell him about the other shit.” She looked at me with pity, and shaking her head. “I think you’ve had enough excitement for one night. Why don’t you go to bed,” she told me, helping me to my feet and steadying me as I staggered to my tent.
“Sarah?”
“Yes Toni?”
“Stay with me tonight? I don’t think I can stand to be alone.” I asked her through my tear-soaked eyes.
“I’ll grab my sleeping bag,” she said as she went to get it from her tent.
She came back and I crawled into my bag, as she did hers, and drifted off to sleep. I woke up with a start, from having a weird dream. I don’t remember exactly what it was, just that it was weird even for me. I was in the dark and found a female arm draped over my chest and softly snoring. I didn’t think anything of it and just closed my eyes and went back to sleep, and again having weird thoughts racing thru my head.
I was one of the first ones up the next morning. I looked over to see Sarah sleeping like a baby next to me on the air mattress, so I quietly got up and started to re-kindle the fire, to cook some breakfast. Apparently the smell woke Sarah and a few of the others as I was soon joined eating my meal of biscuits, home fries, bacon and the rest of the orange juice I had squirreled away from the guys making screw drivers. When we finished eating I asked Sarah to go for a walk with me, and we headed off into the woods.
“I want to be a part of my son’s life,” I told her as we walked.
“I think he’d like that. But what about... what’s her name? Jessica is it?
“She’s a friend. She helped me get thru the time when Brit got killed and that was so soon after losing dad. Besides, she’s Brits Ex, how weird would that be to be dating your late spouses ex?” I asked with a slight chuckle.
“Yeah, I guess that would be a bit awkward.”
“You know I meant what I said last night Sarah.”
“What’s that?”
“The biggest mistake I ever made was pushing you out of my life.” I told her as I started to tear up again. “I tried to call you but all I got was voice mail.”
“What number do you have?” she asked looking puzzled.
“380...” I rattled off the rest of it to her.
“Mar has that phone now. I’m on my own plan with AT&T.”
“So you mean I was calling her, and not you?”
“Yeah, that was another thing I was going to tell you in the hospital, but...” I cut her off.
“Did she tell you I called? Any of the two hundred and thirty six times?”
“No, she didn’t. She was probably mad at you over what happened with me.”
“I can see that.” I said looking ashamed and crying. “Look, INDY is coming up, how about I fly you and Pat out and I can take you both to your first race?” I asked her wiping the tears from my eyes.
“I’d like that. When is it?” she asked not knowing, and I couldn’t help but laugh.
“Memorial day weekend. Come on, you’ve never heard of the INDY 500?” I asked in disbelief.
“You know I’m not big into racing. But with a kid like ours..." she sighed. “I can’t take him anywhere without his cars and one of his racing DVD’s that James bought him."
“Good ole’ Hawkeye. Always looking out for a fellow gear head.” I giggled. “You know I was the same way when I was a kid. We didn’t have in car DVD’s back then. But I never left home without at least a couple cars with me.”
“I know Toni, your dad told me all about it.”
“You know, my dad started a little tradition with me that I’d like to pass along to Pat if it’s alright with you.”
“What’s that?” she asked me puzzled.
“Well my dad built me my first race car when I was 3, and Pat’s what 5? Going on 6?”
“Yeah. What are you saying? That you want him to race at that age?”
“QMA has classes for kids as young as 4. And I’ll have you know that they make sure the drivers know how to handle the car before they turn them loose on the track alone,” I told her.
“I don’t know. It all seems so dangerous to me.”
“He’ll only be going about 5 miles an hour to start, and I’ll build the car myself so it’ll be the safest it can be for my boy. What do you say? At least let him try it to see if he likes it. If he doesn’t like it, I won’t push him.”
“If you promise that you won’t push, and he’ll be safe, I guess it wouldn’t hurt to try it.” She smiled at me, and I just threw my arms around her and hugged her tight.
I looked into her eyes and all the old feelings I had for her came rushing back at me like a MACK truck. I leaned in and she met me with her lips to mine. I don’t really know how long we were there kissing, and truth be told, I really don’t care if we had ever stopped. For the first time in over a year, it felt right to kiss like this.
There’s one more thing you should know. I also adopted a little girl from Ethiopia.” she told me as I held her close. I smiled and rubbed her back.
“That’s wonderful. So Patrick has a baby sister? Good, now he’ll never have to know what I went thru being an only child. That’s great, what’s her name?” I asked smiling like I had just won the lottery.
“Her name is Isabelle, and she’s just adorable.”
“Do you have any pictures?” I asked. She pulled out her wallet, and flipped down about 20 snapshots of the kids. She was right, Isabelle is just the cutest little girl on the planet. Then I saw Patrick. It was a more recent shot, and I started to tear up again as I realized just how much he looked like I used to when I was his age. Sarah hugged me again, and we went back to the party, and had a great rest of the weekend. We exchanged numbers again and I told her I’d call her when I had the flight and hotel booked. Then after one final kiss for now. I pointed my truck south and headed back to North Carolina.
To Be Continued...
Comments
?????
Toni
Just when I think im going along with your story you pull A 180%
plot twist I never thought abought Toni and sara and a Son Good
going Grate story .
Melissa
Stay tuned.
You aint seen nothing yet.... *cute but evil grin*(LOL) I'm glad you like it. Just keep an open mind when the twists get twistier.... LOL.