This is a gentle coming of age story tale about a young boys search the become the girl he knows he should have been, with the help of his two girl friends he becomes Susanna, the girls teach him all about life as a girl.

Please note this is a gentle tale sentimental, with some sexual content but where there is it any it is inferred sex NOT graphic sex and will be tagged as such.

The three of us spent the night cooking sausage rolls vol-au-vents cheese straws and the like. Mum was right Kell was rubbish in the kitchen but she was a great moral booster! Supplying mum and I with wine to keep us working and filling the dishwasher which was about her limits in the kitchen.
So by nine thirty we had everything done and cooling as Kellys dad was away babysitting at her brother’s house it was just the three of us.

We went into the living room and flopped down mum looked fondly across at Kell and said; "If you could cook half as well as Susanna you'd make some man very happy." Kelly obviously used to this just grinned and retorted, "I'll leave Susanna to make some man very happy" I nearly choked on my wine then Kelly continued, "And she's made a deep impression on Gill".
Mum gave me an old fashioned look as I was blushing crimson. Mum then commented, "Oh she has, has she someone needs to calm that boy down he could be a brilliant doctor but he just needs a good woman – or girl".

Kelly gurgle with laughter as I glared at her. Kell continued, "Yes mum he's that taken with her he's picking her up at eight tomorrow!" Without thinking I butted in, "Seven not eight" Kelly gurgled with laughter again, "See mum she is interested".
Mum smiled and told Kelly to leave me alone she then asked about the apartment again Kell couldn't help answering, "Mum you want to see it its huge it's on Barton Square a penthouse flat with a balcony can't wait for summer and sunbathing. Anyhow there are 4 huge bedrooms 4 bathrooms on one floor and on the other floor a huge living room gigantic kitchen utility games room! Oh you'll have to come and see it its unbelievable".
Mum smiled and responded, "Well I'd love to come and see it but it depends if Susanna wants me to visit". "Oh mum" I responded, "Anytime, just anytime you're more than welcome - and my other mum as well!
In fact it would be great if the two of you could come for a weekend then we can show you around do some shopping and you can keep your daughter under control." This earned me a glare from Kell.

I carried on telling them that the only reason I have a place as big as this is because my Dad was a solicitor and he bought it as an investment property when I decided to go to Manchester Uni he let me live there.
He did the same for my sister in Newcastle now they belong to me both flats and our old house.
I started crying at this point and said between sobs, "And I wish they weren't mine, I'd rather have my family alive."
It was then I completely broke down sobbing my heart out for the first time since they had been killed!
Sure I shed a tear but now I was truly emotional sobbing and crying instantly I had Kelly on one side and my new mum on the other both consoling me but letting me cry it out of my system I felt surrounded by love but still the tears flowed.

After about half an hour I was sobbing really sobbing my heart out Mum said, "Come on sweetheart lets get you to bed you cry it out of your system."
I was so pleased someone understood how I felt Kelly kept hold of me stroking my hair and comforting me.
We got upstairs and they got me ready for bed I was still crying they tucked me up in bed then I heard Kelly say to her mum, "I'll sleep in the spare room" but I begged her not to leave me alone so mum left kissing me on the forehead while Kelly got ready for bed as mum left she said, "See you in the morning poppet".
Kelly climbed into bed and held me in her arms consoling me until I fell asleep.

The next morning I woke up first and remembered my emotional outburst last night. Feeling so embarrassed I just laid there wondering how I was going to apologise.
I felt Kell stir she looked at me and asked, "Feel Better?" I smiled weakly and replied, "Much thanks but I'm sorry for breaking down like that I’m so, so, sorry I must apologise to your mum. God I'm so embarrassed".
Kelly looked at me groaned and said comfortingly, "Oh you silly 'new’ girl'! Let Aunty Kelly explain things to you. Susie you have nothing at all to feel embarrassed about what happened is natural especially at this time of year and especially now with all those female hormones rushing about your body.
Every girl gets emotional around puberty it's just your puberty in a bit later than most so man up! No that’s wrong - Girl up! These things happen." "Are you sure Aunty Kelly?” I asked timidly. "Yep anyhow mum's well used to dealing with emotional girls so you're at the right place and call me Aunty again and I'll tickle you to within an inch of your life."

Feeling much better we lay there and chatted away the reason Gill's picking me up early is that he is doing some extra shifts over the New Year period as it's the busiest time in A & E so he will only be there until about half nine Kell commented, "He probably want's you to himself for a while, but we'll be there by half eight to keep an eye on you!”

We finally got dressed and went down stairs the first opportunity I had I went to mum and apologised for my outburst.
She looked compassionately at me and whispered, "Was that the first time you have cried like that since your family got killed" I nodded and she continued, "Well it was about time and I'm so, so glad I was there to help you. Anytime you want to talk your new mum is here."
Impulsively I kissed her like you do to a mum and whispered, "Thanks so much I feel a lot better."
The rest of the day was spent decorating the community centre with the other people going to the party helping mum transport the food to the centre's kitchen and helping the pub to set up the bar.
Then Shoni mentioned that the three of us were going to work behind the bar until the pub staff arrives after eleven Kell protested "But we'll be pissed by then!" Shoni simply grinned, "Yep, that’s the idea!"

We went home and started getting ready I was going to wear a pink lace shift mini dress, black tights and shoes.
I had a black velvet jacket and handbag my dress was lined in satin polyester to keep it decent.
I was just finishing my make up when Gill and Shoni arrived. Shoni came straight upstairs with the clothes she was going to change into later we all kissed and she inspected my look, "Perfect" she announced, “Sort of sexy innocent schoolgirl with all the pinks.” Being used to them I grinned and went downstairs to find Gill.

He was casually dressed in slacks and blue shirt he smiled when he saw me, "They've told you I'm working?" I nodded, "Well let's go I don't have long with such a beautiful girl as you!" he said.
I blushed slipped on my jacket and followed him to the door he opened the door and let me precede him out the perfect gentleman it was natural for me to slip my arm through his as we walked to the pub.

When we got to the pub Gill had coke and as I have got a long night ahead of me I had a very, very diluted white wine spritzer. We sat down and talked about anything and everything about my life in very general terms without telling any secrets my loss earlier in the year.
Mum was right, last nights hysterics had in some way cleansed me and made my feelings about the loss of my family less raw. My hurt would never go away but somehow it seemed well easier to bear.
Gill told me why he decided to do medicine about him growing up and living with Shoni.
Shonali as a little girl growing up he had me laughing regularly I was very comfortable he was holding my hand caressing my palm sending shivers down my spine.
We were in a corner quite secluded he leant over and gently kissed me you know Susanna, you are a beautiful girl I really want to get to know you a lot better. I smiled gently at him "That's going to be difficult with you in Leeds and me in Manchester and I believe that you also have a regular girlfriend?"
He smiled ruefully at the mention of his girlfriend telling me, “I did have a girlfriend but we drifted apart so I have no ties. As for the Manchester - Leeds thing it could be difficult but we'll find a way." Then he kissed me gently again and I swear my toes curled it was exciting a chaste kiss with so much passion.
He stroked my face and said, "Susanna I have a question for you, you can answer if you want to but it makes no difference to me at all." He kissed me again this time it was a little more passionate.
As he stroked my face I said to him, "Ask away if I can I'll answer." Still gently stroking my cheek he said, "When did you transition?"

It was like a bolt from the blue! I sat up straight ready to flee he took my hand and continued, "Susanna, it makes no difference at all I really want to see you and be with you. You are a vivacious beautiful girl and what ever way you choose to answer, it is strictly between the two of us. Trust me I’m a doctor"
That trite saying made me giggle in spite of the inner turmoil I was feeling. I looked into his eyes all I saw was love and compassion, "How could you tell?" I asked.
He smiled at me, "I'm a doctor remember" he touched my throat and continued, "It's only a little scar and in a month or so it will not be noticeable but there is only one thing a scar this size means so I put two and two together and came up with........."

I sighed telling him, “I thought it was something in my looks,” he laughed saying, "No chance of that you are perfect".
Shyly I said to him "I haven't transitioned yet".
It was his turn to be speechless, "Christ" he said, "When you do, you're going to be stunning. I'm going to have to stake my claim on you or else I will never have a look in." I was both pleased and afraid by this answer so hesitantly I asked, "Do you still want to be seen with me?"

"Of course I do I said it made no difference to me at all! Do Kelly and Shonali kn……?"
He stopped and then carried on, "Of course they do that’s why they are so protective of you like Lionesses those two are where you are concerned."
I giggled, "I know what you mean but they are the best friends a girl like me can have." "Not like me" he corrected, "You mean a girl can have because that is what you are".
I grinned ruefully, "I keep getting told that by those two and my councillor but I am having trouble believing it."
He kissed me gently and passionately whispering, "Then believe Susanna - believe". That kiss was amazing it sounds corny but when he kissed me he seemed to suck my being into him and merge it with his, the feeling was bliss.

"Put him down Susanna you don't know where he's been!" A voice well known to the two of us shouted across the room Gill groaned, "My dear sister is here" and sure enough the two families had arrived and were getting drinks in and surrounding us the party had started.
Things slowly got raucous, about nine fifteen Gill said, "I've got to go." "I'll walk with you,” I said getting my jacket and bag I went outside with him.
Shoni had fetched his car as he was taking it to the hospital I slipped my arm through his it seemed such a natural thing to do. We got to his car all too quickly.
He leant on the car put his arms around me and kissed me deeply our tongues entwined as he gently played with my tongue.
"Happy New Year Susanna" he whispered, "A year in which I hope to see a lot more of you." I was so happy and returned his kiss with interest, "Happy New Year Gill, I cannot wait to see more of you – if you are certain?" I said this with a certain amount of pleading in my voice.
He nibbled my bottom lip and whispered, "I have never been so certain in my life - Oh and tonight is just between the two of us - don't even tell Kell and Shoni ok?" Happily I nodded brimming with happiness. I watched him get into his car and drive away and then went back to the party floating on cloud nine.
The party was well underway we moved to the community centre and it carried on the three of us ran the bar until the landlord and staff arrived – when I said run the bar it was sort of be there serving drinks and mixing up the money!!!!

At midnight we did all the traditional things at New Year sang Auld Langs Ayne, kissed a load of people, friends, new families for me and complete strangers just after midnight Gill called me and wished me another Happy New Year, which made me sad but soon I was back in party mode.
Apparently it’s a tradition that the party goes on until silly o'clock the next morning but the three of us wended our way to bed about four in the morning laughing and giggling all the way home we all piled into Kelly’s bed snuggled together and that was it!

I came too with someone groaning in my ear what a hangover I had!!!!! I looked for the groaning and found Shonali awake but not looking very well.
She looked at me and huskily whispered, "No wonder I feel shit - if I look anything like you that is!" "Thanks" I managed to croak, "Just what a girl needs first thing in the morning and yes I feel crap!"
Then Kelly gasped, "Oh god am I alive?" I couldn't speak because my mouth was so dry Shoni croaked "I think so, welcome to the world."

The three of us laid in bed coming to slowly until Kelly's mum banged on the door, "Come on you three it's dinner time - time to get up we've some clearing up to do!" And then she added as an afterthought, "Oh and there's a doctor down here to see if anyone needs his healing hands!"

"EEEK" I screamed, "I can't let him see me like this tell me I look ok please, please tell me I don’t look as bad as I feel!" The two of them solemnly looked at me and pronounced, "No you don't look as bad as you feel" I let out a huge sigh then Shoni carried on, "You look worse girl!" now it was my turn to groan then I was dragged out of bed across the hall to the bathroom and the two of them started the process of making me look better.
They made me have a shower and wash my hair. Half way through the shower one of them turned the water to cold that really woke me up!!!
The language from me was colourful to say the least I tried to escape but they kept pushing me back in I managed to grab Shoni and she ended up with me – soaking but I will admit it I was feeling far better.

I towel dried my hair and dressed in jeans and glittery 'T' shirt and flat shoes then I went down to see Gill. He was comfortable on the sofa though looking tired after a long shift I smiled brightly at him went over and kissed him on the cheek saying, "Happy New Year handsome" I said. He looked at me damp hair no make up and answered, "Happy New Year Gorgeous".

I laughed at that what with me straight out of the shower and no make up, "I think not,” I giggled.
Mum said, "Why don't you two go out for a while" the rest of us can clean the hall. Gill smiled ruefully, "Afraid not Mrs J. It's bed for me as I'm on shift again later I just called in to wish everyone a Happy New Year." I piped up, "I'll walk you home if that's ok."

He looked at me smiled saying, "That would be great cos you'll be going back to Uni next week and I won’t see much more of you.” I went and got my quilted jacket and handbag. "Where you going?" Shoni asked. "Taking Gill home he's shattered" I answered. Kelly butted straight in, "Well he won't get much sleep with you next to him!" "Kelly" I squeaked "I didn't mean well you know I'm just walking him home" I finished off lamely. They were still giggling when I left arm in arm with Gill.

We walked the short distance to Shonali's "Do you want to come inside" he asked me. "Don't you need sleep?” I asked him. "It sounds corny but being with you is what I need, we need to talk" he responded.
I was intrigued so I accepted and we went inside, "Coffee or something stronger" he asked. I shuddered at the thought of alcohol so I settled on a cup of coffee we settled on the sofa his arm around me kissing and petting finally I said to him you must get some sleep settle down with your head on my knee and sleep.
Eventually he agreed and settled down soon he was fast asleep with his head on my knee I simply sat there and watched the TV while he slept. I fantasised of being in the same bed as him and feeling his naked body next to mine.
We never did get to talk!!!

He was on shift at ten and sure enough he was awake at nine having had six hours sleep. He went and got changed and drove me back to Kelly's.
He kissed me good bye and said, "You are a very special girl Susanna and don't let that witch of a sister of mine and her familiar give you too much grief it's not your fault I fell asleep!"

Needless to say I did get a lot of ribbing from Shoni and Kell but it was good-natured. After eleven when we went to bed I had to take my breast forms off as for some reason they were a bit uncomfortable.
After I had removed them Kelly said, "Turn round a bit Susie" "Why" I asked, "Don't argue just do it!" she ordered.
I turned to the side and Kelly exclaimed, "You've got boobies dear, actual boobies" "WHAT!" I squealed rushing to the mirror and sure enough I had boobies granted they were small – well just bumps really but they were there! And they were all mine.
Kelly was scrabbling through a drawer and found the tape measure, "Arms up” she ordered as she slipped the tape around my chest just under the swelling that were my boobies then she measured around my nipples, which instantly hardened when the cool tape brushed them my nipples were not large I would say about ¼" long and the same round but when they hardened it felt really good.
"Susie, try one of your new A cup bras" Kell suggested so I too one out of the drawer and was about to take the tags off when Kell stopped me.
"Don't do that until we know that they fit," it was a good bit of advice as the under band fitted comfortably but my boobs felt squashed.
Kelly joked, "You must have had a growth spurt girl, I thought that they are more than an A cup I think you're going to have to swap these for a B cup and slip chicken fillets in to give you a boost until you fill the bra!"
To say I was happy was an understatement after six months I was actually starting to sprout breasts I didn't need my breast forms any more!
From now on my boobs were all mine as I slipped a satin nightie on Kelly joked, "Now Gill will have something to play with and you'll be able to feel him playing!" "Kelly Jackson" I gasped shocked, "I wouldn't - I haven't" she grinned at me and said, "Now don't tell me you haven't dreamed about the day you’d have your own boobs I'm so excited for you Susanna I'm texting Shoni now!" And she did just that!
They sent text messages between the two of them Shoni jokingly asked for a picture so she could show her brother what he was missing but eventually we snuggled up in bed to go to sleep after arranging to meet next morning to hit the January sales – again.

As I settled down I kept having a surreptitious feel of my breasts nestled inside the satin cups of my nightie! A sleepy voice stopped me in my tracks, "Susie, please stop groping yourself they'll still be there in the morning!" I could feel myself blushing at being caught out so I did as I was ordered (well maybe a couple of little feels during the night) and went to sleep.

The next day we were up bright and early, the three of us plus two mums were going to hit the sales after showering the problem of which bra I was going to wear arose.
Kelly and I looked through what I had then what she had as we were both C cup we had plenty of these finally we found a bra that was tight on Kelly's C cup boobs but loose on my A/B boobs so the chicken fillets I’d brought came into use and once I had the silicon shapes in the right place I looked something like normal and felt GREAT!

Casual dress was the order of the day - denim mini skirt, black leggings, T shirt and cowl necked jumper cream ankle boots and slouch bag Kelly and Shoni were similarly dressed so we managed to get the bus at nine and trolled the sales.
I swapped my A cup bra's for B cup I tried a pair on and with the chicken fillets my bust looked good and IT WAS ALL MINE (well nearly).

We were quite reserved shopping at the sales, after all we had our winter wardrobe so we limited ourselves to good quality 'essentials' that were in the sale, bra's panties (or thongs, depending on your preference) a couple of skirts and tops wardrobe space was no real problem because with the work I had done at the flat we all had loads of wardrobe and drawer space!
We had a meal out and a snack when we got back to Shoni's place we went up to her bedroom to talk and listen to music. We sat feet under us on beanbags listening to Pink, Oasis, Snow Patrol, Arctic Monkeys and the like.
I was troubled about my feelings for Gill and deliberated a lot but before I could speak Shonali asked, "Susanna, what's troubling you?"
I sat quiet for a moment then blurted out, "It's Gill I'm confused about my feeling for him even though I've only known him for a short time, I don't know what to do!"
Shoni looked at me and said, "Gill's quite attracted to you I can't shut him up so really the question is what do YOU want from the relationship?" "I don't know he's your brother and I don't want to hurt him" I honestly replied.

Shoni grinned, "Forget about him being my brother he's big enough and ugly enough to look after himself you on the other hand are just emerging as a girl and we both think (nodding at Kelly) that you are a bit vulnerable at the moment – true?"
She looked pointedly at me I gave a rueful grin saying, "I suppose you're right but….." I left the question hanging.
Kelly then said, "Look Susie if your relationship progresses eventually you're going to have to tell him about yourself - think about that!" Quietly I answered, "I don't - he already knows!"
They were both stunned! "You told him?" Shoni asked in amazement somewhat subdued I answered, "No I didn't tell him he guessed." This time the two of them were speechless "B, b, but how the hell did he do that? Looking at you no one would ever know you were anything other than an attractive girl" Shoni asked.
Again I gave that rueful grin and replied, "He saw the scar on my throat and knew - or guessed what had been done – he is a doctor after all".

Somewhat annoyed Shoni commented, "He always notices everything but as long as he's cool about it and from the way he talks about you he's cool why worry?"
I sat quietly for a while Kelly said, "And?" I gave a smile and said, "Well in the future if and it’s just if we start getting intimate (I felt myself blushing) I don't want to do it well the wrong way! I want to do it as a girl would if you see what I mean."
The two of them looked at each other and burst into gales of laughter I looked from one to the other wondering what I had said that was so funny.
Eventually they calmed down Kelly still giggling said, "Oh Susanna we're not laughing at you but we are going to have to tell you the facts of life again this time from a girl's point of view -which is slightly different from a man's point of view."
So once again I was told the facts of life from a girls point of view and this time it sunk in (I think) but the main things I took from it was to respect yourself respect the person you are with do not give conflicting signals to them and only have intimate relations when you are 1000% sure it is the right time even if you decide not to engage in sex until marriage that is the girls decision and no one can say she is wrong!

I think my desire to give pleasure was due to my past life as a guy, I made a note to myself to ask my councillor about this next week when I had an appointment with her.
We had a quiet night and arranged to meet up tomorrow for a hair, nails and pamper day as tomorrow we were going out for our free meal thanks to Shonali.
The next day was Tuesday and we slept in until about ten, Shoni arrived with her dress as we were leaving from Kelly's house and Shoni was sleeping there after our night out, we spent the day washing conditioning and styling our hair, waxing, manicures and pedicures on each other, tidying up our eyebrows and giving each other face packs, a really great girly day I really loved them finally we showered and dressed for the night.
I must admit we looked stunning once we had dressed (but I was biased) Kelly wore her long blond hair loosely curled over the right side of her shoulder her dress was mid blue in a Jacquard fabric with metallic yarn in the cloth lined in black polyester satin. She had matching satin shoes with a 5" heel and small platform and a matching satin quilted handbag to keep the cold off she wore a black fur bolero jacket.
Shonali's dress was a red and white floral mini pencil dress with long sleeves, she wore her dark brown hair straight, she paired the dress with red 5" stiletto heeled shoes and matching bag and wore a gorgeous black velvet jacket.
My dress was an animal print slinky mini dress (similar to a snow leopard pattern) with long sleeves I wore black ankle boots with a 4" heel 1" platform and a matching black handbag my coat was a white faux fur ¾ jacket.
We splashed out and got a taxi to the restaurant, arriving just before seven thirty. Shonali gave her name at the desk and we were immediately shown to the bar where the owner (Michael) and his wife Chantelle were waiting.
We had a really nice night with Shonali and Chantelle were talking away nineteen to the dozen while Michael kept Kelly and I in the conversation he really was a nice agreeable type of man making us laugh and feel at really at ease.
It was well after midnight when he called the three of us a taxi and we went home.
Shonali promising to keep in contact with Michael and Chantelle so by the time we got to bed we were really tired and went to sleep almost immediately.
The next day was the last full day that Kelly and Shonali would have with their families until the end of the next term so they were enjoying it with their families. Myself on the other hand well I was spending the whole day with Gill. He was picking me up about ten thirty and dropping me off later in the day I was so excited getting ready.
I must have tried on a dozen outfits and still couldn't make up my mind I finally settled on skinny black leather trousers a white angora crew necked sweater over a cream silk camisole I wore my knee boots with 3" heels and a quilted ¾ jacket with a fur hood, I also had my large black slouch handbag.

Gill was right on time and he looked gorgeous we lingered talking to Kelly's mum for a while then we went for a drive to the coast (and yes it was January in England but what the hell!) We ended up 3 hours later in Whitby – right on the North Yorkshire coast, needless to say it was very quiet. We wandered around the streets arm in arm then we then went inland through Middlesbrough onto the A19 where we stopped at a restaurant called McCoy's or the Cleveland Tontine that was excellent and really eccentric.
Finally we ended up back in Leeds about nine at night and stopped at a pub where I met some of the people Gill worked with other junior doctors and nurses. I really enjoyed myself and enjoyed getting to know Gill more.

We talked about anything and everything dwelling seriously on what Gill could expect from me it was a subject that I felt had to be brought into the open and discussed in an adult manner.
He understood that I did not want an intimate relationship until I was fully a woman and I am happy to say that he fully understood my wishes and respected what I wanted even though it could be some time until I fully transitioned. We left a lot unsaid but we were stronger for the day.

As Gill had been drinking we left his car and got a taxi home we arrived at Kelly's a little before midnight and the place was in darkness I asked him if he wanted coffee I’m glad to say he accepted and it was after one in the morning before I crept upstairs to bed.
I thought I had made it to bed undetected when a voice muttered, "Dirty stop out" Again I gave a quiet squeal of surprise as I thought Kell was asleep after talking for a while we both went to sleep as we had to get up early to pack and get back to University and the newly refurbished flat – which I really hoped that they liked.