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Chapter 4: The Bunnies in Demand  

The plan to turn me back into Alex after our performance worked without a hitch. I changed my clothes and cleaned off all traces of the makeup with Carol’s help whilst Beth stood guard at her bedroom window. Within an hour my cousin and I were walking home each carrying a suitcase containing our stage costumes.

‘Well, cousin Alex, have you enjoyed your first ten days of life in Hampshire?' she asked.

‘It has certainly been different from what I’d expected, but it has been good fun,’ I replied now adopting Alex’s usual voice.

'I'm glad, and thanks again for saving the day for us.'

Aunt Emma didn’t display any suspicions when Carol and I came down to breakfast on Saturday morning; she merely asked what we’d been doing the previous day, when I was due to work again and whether or not I would be home for meals. I explained that I’d enjoyed the performance at the Red Lion the previous night and that we’d had a great time. Of course I didn’t say anything about my having sung as part of the group.

We had arranged for Beth to come round at ten o’clock, to discuss the previous evening’s performance. As soon as she arrived she handed us both £40. My Aunt was getting ready to leave to go shopping, so I went to her and offered my share as a contribution to my keep, but without saying where the money had come from. She kept one twenty pound note and returned the other to me.

‘I won’t take all of your money Alex, but you can pay me £40 a week once you start earning on a regular basis.’

She drove off towards Portsmouth and I returned to Beth and Carol.

‘Do you want me to begin with the good news or the bad news?’ asked Beth when I got back.

‘The bad news, I guess,’ said Carol.

‘We’ve had one negative tweet about last night, but also quite a number of good ones.

‘What does it say?’ Carol asked.

Beth showed it to us on her i-phone. It was under the heading ‘Good music at the Red Lion last night’.

The Pompeys were on excellent form last night. The new girl with Honey Bunnies is a looker and has a great voice but she needs some dance lessons!

Below there was a photograph of me wearing the little black dress, looking rather stiff and awkward. Carol, Beth and two of the lads were visible in the background looking more animated.

‘I just hope that Mum and Aunt Emma never get to see that photograph,’ I thought to myself.

‘There are a number of follow-up tweets from other members of the audience, one or two agreeing, but most of them saying what a good time they’d had and that it was good to see the Bunnies performing again,’ continued Beth.

‘Well if that’s the only negative comment, then it hardly counts as bad news,’ suggested Carol.

‘No, I suppose not, but it is something that we’ll need to bear in mind for next time.’

‘Next time?’ I asked.

‘Yes; that brings me to the good news. The manager of the Red Lion was so pleased with the way things went last night that he wants us to appear again next Friday evening and has even offered to increase our fee. I’ve spoken to the lads and they are free as well.’

‘But nobody said anything to me about a next time,’ I said.

‘You’re not due to be working next Friday are you?’ asked Beth in some alarm.

‘No, I’m not, but I’m wondering about the logistical problems of getting changed to Ally and back again without either my Aunt or your parents finding out.'

‘I’m sure we’ll be able to manage something,’ she said in a conciliatory tone. ‘We can always rehearse whilst the parents are at work, leaving the house before they return and you can always get changed in our garden shed after the show.’

‘I still think it might be risky,’ I murmured.

Beth continued, ignoring my reservations.

‘I should perhaps mention that it was one of the conditions of the booking that we all three perform. Apparently there was a rumour going around last night that you were only a temporary member of the Bunnies, but I assured him that it wasn’t true.’

I didn’t respond to this as I was unsure what I thought about the news.

‘We’ve already rehearsed several songs that we didn’t include last night but we’ll also have to come up with some new numbers in time for next week. I’ve promised to let the lads have a recording when we see them on Tuesday,’ she continued.

‘On Tuesday?’ asked Carol.

‘Sorry, I forgot to mention that The Pompeys have a gig on Tuesday night: it’s a ‘sixties revival’ evening. They’ve asked whether we’d be willing to do a guest spot featuring some of Ally’s songs from that era.’

I quickly looked at the time sheet I’d been given for the McJob. Fortunately I was due to work an early shift on the Tuesday morning and was not required at all on the following Friday, so there would be no clash.

‘Will they be paying us for Tuesday?’ asked Carol

‘We didn’t actually discuss a fee, but it is quite a compliment to be invited by them, and then they’ll owe us a favour. We won’t need to rehearse any new numbers for Tuesday, but maybe we could all practice a few dance steps together.’

‘But I’ve an exam on Monday morning, and will need to revise. How about you Beth?’ asked Carol.

‘My last exam is next Thursday afternoon but I’ve already done plenty of revision and will only need to go through my notes in the morning.’

‘What about you Ally?’

‘I’d rather you used Alex when I’m dressed like this,’ I replied.

‘Sorry! I’ll get the hang of things. But what are your commitments over the next few days?’

‘I’ll be working this afternoon and Sunday afternoon, then mornings from Monday to Wednesday, with Thursday and Friday off,’ I replied.

‘So how are we going to fit in rehearsals?’ asked Carol.

‘You carry on with your revision now. Alex and I can go through some dance steps together this morning and prepare one or two new arrangements of songs that we already know tomorrow morning, and also maybe a couple of entirely new numbers from Ally's list for her to sing. Then we should be able to meet up again at my place on Monday afternoon to record them for the lads.’

‘Do you have an electronic keyboard at your home Beth?’ I asked.

‘Yes, but I’m afraid you’ll have to come to my place in girl mode again on Monday if you don't want my parents to find out about Alex.’

‘I don’t mind that, but I’m just wondering what I’m going to wear.’

‘Don’t worry, I’ve washed the shirt dress and some underwear this morning so you should be able to wear those,’ suggested Carol, now warming to the plan.

‘What about on Tuesday, where will I get changed before we go to the gig?’

‘There’s no reason why we can’t all get changed here so long as we leave the house before Mum gets home from work,’ said Carol. 'My sister and I once got ourselves some sixties style miniskirts Ally and I could wear them .'

'I think I can probably borrow something suitable from my mum,' added Beth.

I felt a little bit as if I’d been hit by a bulldozer but both Beth and Carol now seemed so pleased about the way things had worked out that I didn’t like to raise potential obstacles. Aunt Emma wasn’t going to be back for a while, so Beth and I spent an hour going through some dance steps that she’d devised with me wearing high heels and a mini skirt. Afterwards I had to get changed and leave for my late shift at McJob. It wasn’t until then that I realised that we’d not made any arrangements for me to change back after our performance on Tuesday.

Saturday lunchtime proved to be very busy and I was grilling hamburgers for four hours non-stop before I had any break. However the mindlessness of the task did at least enable me to give some thought about possible numbers for the Bunnies to perform and how we might arrange them. I later jotted down a few ideas to discuss with Beth when she came round the following morning and briefly worked them out before going to bed

‘These are great, Alex; you really have a talent for popular music,’ said Beth to me after we’d finished our brief session on Sunday morning.

‘I do my best to please,’ I replied.

‘So I’ll see you and Carol at my place tomorrow afternoon.’

‘No it is Ally that you’ll be seeing tomorrow afternoon and also on Tuesday,’ I replied.

‘Yes so it is, I stand corrected,’ she replied smiling.

~o~O~o~

My McJob hours switched from the late shift to the early shift on Monday, consequently I arrived home from work at 3.30 on Monday afternoon, stinking of chips and anxious to have a quick shower and change my clothes. Carol was already waiting for me.

‘How did the exam go?’ I asked.

‘Alright, I think. At least I can be confident that I’ve passed the module because of the mark I got for my course work.’

‘So now what?’

‘I’ve finished my last exam and am a free agent until next term, but we’re unlikely to make much money from the Bunnies, so maybe I’ll have to flip hamburgers like you.’

I had a quick shower and Carol helped me to fix my boobs and hair extensions, whilst I made a start with my makeup, which she finished off for me.

‘I don’t think we need to bother with the nail tips today as we won’t be performing, but you’re going to need them again tomorrow.’

‘Which shoes shall I wear?’ I asked.

‘You may wear flats to walk to Beth’s house, if you prefer, but take the heels with us in case we have time to go through Beth’s dance routine after we’ve finished recording.’

Our plans for the Tuesday afternoon and evening rehearsal went well. We completed the recording and had time to practice some dance steps. Beth’s parents invited us to stay to dinner and gave no indication that they thought of me as anything other than one of their daughter’s friends. The only difficulty was when and how I was going to get changed back to Alex, and ultimately we had to hang around for an hour or so until it got dark and we could make our way to the garden shed unseen.

‘This is getting ridiculous, there must be some other way that I can get changed from Ally to Alex at night rather than creeping around people’s garden sheds,’ I complained.

‘What do you suggest, that we tell Mum about Ally?’ asked Carol, who was helping me unstick my boobs and remove the hair pieces whilst I cleaned off the makeup.

‘What do you think would happen if she found out?’ I asked.

‘I think she’d be alright about it, but the only danger is that she might feel duty bound to tell your mother.’

‘In that case we’d better stick with Beth’s garden shed,’ I replied, this time switching to Alex’s voice.

In the event, the problem was solved for me the following day. The three of us rather went to town with researching and then trying to create a suitable sixties look in terms of our dresses and makeup and succeeded in giving one another convincing beehive hairstyles, but in doing so we rather misjudged the time. We were just on the point of leaving the house ready to get a bus into Portsmouth when Aunt Emma pulled up in the car ten minutes earlier than she would normally be expected to do so. At first she smiled to see her daughter and two friends in 1960s dress leaving the house, but then seemed puzzled and finally looked quite stern as she worked out who the third young lady in the group was. Carol decided that the best form of defence was to attack.

‘Mum, we can’t stop to talk to you now; we’ve a bus to catch.’

‘You’re not going anywhere until you explain to me what is going on and why my nephew is wearing a miniskirt and high-heels.’

There was no alternative but for us to come clean, to tell her the full story about Ally and the triumph of the Honey Bunnies the previous Friday night. Her initial reaction was to be amused, but on second thoughts she started quizzing me.

‘You look most convincing as a girl, Alex, are you sure they haven’t forced you into doing anything against your will?’

‘No, Aunt Emm, I’ve been happy to help them and was pleased with our reception last week.’

‘Ally has been an enormous help to us, not only as a performer, but also as an arranger,’ added Beth.

‘But what are you doing now?’ she asked.

‘We’ve been invited to make a guest appearance at a show tonight.’

‘Mum, if we don’t leave soon we are going to miss the bus,’ said Carol interrupting.

‘Don’t worry about that,’ her mother replied sharply, ‘if necessary I’ll drive you there.’

‘Are you intending to tell your mother and father, what you’ve been doing, Alex?’

I blushed.

‘I’d rather not. You know what they’re like; Mum would be liable freak out and come over on the next plane.’

Aunt Emma could see the truth in what I said.

‘Does she have to be told?’ I asked.

‘I’m not sure about that, we’ll have to see. I won’t tell your mother an outright lie, but I need a little time to decide what I am going to tell her.’

‘I’m not asking you to lie but perhaps she doesn’t need to be told the whole truth, at least for the time being,’ I said.

‘We’ll have to see.’

We were on the point of leaving when Aunt Emma thought of something else to ask.

‘So when do I get to see the three of you performing together?’

‘I think tonight may be a private function, but we’re going to be at the Red Lion again on Friday evening; you’d be welcome to come along, if you wish,’ said Beth.

‘Alright then, I won’t make any decision about telling your mother until the weekend, Alex.’

‘Thanks, Aunt Emma. Will be it alright for me to practice as Ally from time to time in the meanwhile?’ I asked.

She sighed.

‘Yes, I suppose so, since you look so nice.’

‘Mum, if we don’t leave soon we are going to be late for the gig,’ said Carol.

‘Come on then, where do you need to go?’

The Bunnies contributed four numbers from the 1960s in a guest slot at the Pompey Players’ gig, with me taking the lead. Once again the guys seemed happy with our performance and also with the recording that we handed over to them containing the planned numbers for the coming Friday. After they heard it through James turned to me.

‘Hey, Ally, do you know the Carpenters’ number ‘Goodbye to love,’ from the early seventies?’

‘Yeah, I think so, that’s the one that finishes with a great guitar solo.”

‘That's right. I’ve practised that solo at home many times and I would really like to do it on stage one day, although I’ve never performed with a girl with a strong enough contralto voice before. George has made a great arrangement of it for guitar keyboard and drums. Do you think that you could manage the lyrics?’

‘I would have to look up the lyrics. It is not an easy song to sing as some of the lines are quite long, but I seem to remember the backing vocals are fairly straightforward – mainly oohs and aahs, if I remember right, but I hope you are not thinking that I will be able to sing as well as Karen Carpenter.”

‘No, but you have a fine clear voice and I’m sure that between us we could do a creditable rendition of the song.’

‘Well it will be up to the others to decide, I’m just the new girl around here.’

He turned to the others.

'What do you think, Beth?'

‘We have finalised the main programme for Friday, but I guess we could try it out as an encore, if Ally can learn the lyrics in time,’ she answered.

'I should have time to work out our parts so I'll have a go.' I said.

‘Thanks, Aly, that would be great,’ said James. 'Well practice the instrumental parts.'

The guys were just about to go back on for their final session.

‘If you three can hang around until the end of the session I’ll give you a lift home,’ offered George.

‘What do you think, girls?’ Beth asked.

'Why not?' said Carol.

We stayed on while the guys finished their performance and packed up their instruments as George had offered us a lift home.’

‘At least we won’t have to sneak round your garden shed to get changed this time,’ I whispered to Beth.

George brought us home soon after midnight, having first dropped off Beth at her house. I thanked him for the lift and he looked as if he was about to say something to me, but clearly thought better of it and wished us both goodnight, saying that he would see us on the coming Friday.

‘I think he may be getting sweet on you,’ commented Carol, with a smile, as we entered her house.

‘In that case he’s in for a disappointment,’ I replied, blushing.

Aunt Emma was still up when we got in.

‘So how did it go tonight?’ she asked.

‘Fine thanks,’ I replied.

‘And what plans do you have for tomorrow, Alex?’

I was about to reply but Carol butted in.

‘Mum, can we agree to call her Ally when she’s dressed like that, just in case someone should overhear’

My aunt frowned and I wished that Carol hadn’t made an issue of that point, particularly as my future was currently resting in her hands.

‘I just wanted to know whether it was going to be Alex or Ally when I get home tomorrow evening,’ she said a little tetchily.

‘Alex will be going to work until 3.00pm, but we were planning to have a rehearsal afterwards, although it probably won’t be necessary for me to dress up as Ally.’

‘Thank you. That was all I wanted to know. Goodnight then …. girls.’

‘Goodnight Mum/Aunt Emma,’ we replied in unison.

‘I don’t want you to antagonise her,’ I said to Carol after she left us, ‘I’m still a little anxious about what she might say to my mum and dad.

‘I don’t think you need to worry too much. If she was going to tell your mum and dad, she would have done so by now.’

Before going to bed I found a copy of ‘Goodbye to love’ on You Tube and emailed the link to Beth and Carol. I also downloaded a copy of the lyrics. It would be a difficult song to sing, with long lines and few opportunities to take breaths, but I could understand why James was so keen to use it to show off the skills of all three musicians, especially the lead guitarist.

The following morning I was called in to the manager’s office at the restaurant, soon after he arrived at 9.00am.

‘Alex, I’m going to need you for a late shift on Friday.’

‘But I’ll have completed my hours for this week by the end of this afternoon,’ I replied.

‘No problem, there’s no contracted maximum number of work hours in any one week. I can ask you to do an extra shift if I need to.’

‘Friday is going to be difficult for me. I don’t suppose I could do the extra shift tomorrow instead?’ I asked.

‘No we’re fully staffed tomorrow. Why can’t you come in on Friday? I trust you haven’t found a second job,’ he said.

(Although they didn’t guarantee us work, we were forbidden from taking alternative employment as this might prevent us from being available when we were needed.)

‘No but I’ve made arrangements to go out with some friends,’ I replied.

‘You’ll have plenty of other opportunities to go out with your friends.’

‘I’m sorry but it will be really difficult for me to work on Friday. Please can you find someone else for that duty?’ I said.

He looked at me sourly and I realised that I’d just gone down several points in his estimation.

‘I’ll try and get someone else to come in although Friday evenings are often difficult to staff. But if I can’t find someone to fill that gap I’ll expect you to come in. I’ll be texting the rotas for next week on Friday morning. I’ll let you know then if I need you to come in, but it would be as well to cancel any arrangements you have, just in case.’

With that I left the office and returned to my duties at the deep-fat fryer.

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