Dancing in the Stables

Printer-friendly version
Dancing in the Stables
By Melanie E.

Note: many applicable tags for this piece have been left off so as not to spoil the "surprise," but those who dislike things that are dark and morbid be forewarned.

----

Down around the bannister, and out into the night,
Debbie crept out of the farmhouse, palest stars her only light.
Straight on into the stables is where she made her flight,
Grasping tightly in her tiny hands a gallows-man's delight.

Up the ladder, through the loft, and 'cross the mighty rafters high,
She fin'ly reached the center, gave the floor one final eye.
There was no one there to question, no one there to ask her why,
Such a waste of her performance, Debbie thought with a small sigh.

Debbie turned her thoughts to labor; there was no time for romance.
As she worked she never spared the world outside another glance.
If someone would have come, they would have had a unique chance;
They would have been the very first to ever witness Debbie's dance.

With her rope tied to the rafters, Debbie stepped into the air;
She knew the rope would catch her, she knew it would be there.
There was a snap, there was a yank, a whipping of her hair,
Then Debbie's dance begun as she dangled from her snare.

Debbie danced inside the stables, to the rhythm of the rope,
Debbie arched across the floors with not a sound.
Debbie danced to her own heartbeat, as it slowed and slowed and slowed,
Debbie danced, though her feet never touched the ground.
Debbie danced between the rafters, she would kick and twirl about,
The groaning string that backed her playing from up top,
Debbie's dance went on and on, she never rested for a breath,
Debbie danced, until her music fin'ly stopped.

In the morning when her father walked in through the stable's door,
He saw the remnants of her dancing from the night before.
With a rictus grin upon her face, Debbie swung and swayed some more,
'Til her father, struck with horror, fell prostrate upon the floor.

It was hours yet before her mother, too, would stumble in,
Quite distraught to find the father sharing dancing Debbie's grin.
She fled the stable right away, found solace in her gin,
She, too, danced a few weeks later; Debbie taught her how to spin.

In that little farmhouse far away, the halls lie quiet now.
Or, at least they remain quiet for the day.
But at night, the grounds will fill with the haunting, quiet sound,
Of dearest Debbie dancing high above the hay.

Debbie danced inside the stables, to the rhythm of the rope,
Debbie arched across the floors with not a sound.
Debbie danced to her own heartbeat, as it slowed and slowed and slowed,
Debbie danced, though her feet never touched the ground.
Debbie danced between the rafters, she would kick and twirl about,
The groaning string that backed her playing from up top,
Debbie's dance went on and on, she never rested for a breath,
Debbie danced....
Until her music fin'ly stopped.

----

Yeah, this is really morbid, but I've been watching a lot of ghost videos and listening to a lot of creepypastas, so this kinda formed in my head.

This is the first run through, so apologies if some of the rhyme and rhythm feel a bit off. Then again, given the subject I'm guessing that would be the least of people's problems with it.

Melanie E.

up
79 users have voted.
If you liked this post, you can leave a comment and/or a kudos! Click the "Thumbs Up!" button above to leave a Kudos

Comments

Very good but…

Rhona McCloud's picture

… as you warned, "As dark as it gets!"

Rhona McCloud

Oh, oh my

Yeah it's dark but well put together. I tend not to read verse but I'm glad I did on this. It kinda reminds me of a little one on FM called I think "Pieces of Silver". Another not fun to think on. Our culture is, at least in it's most of the fiction more than a bit hedonistic & centered on sex. This power brings a centering on costs many won't want to look at. Please, please keep up this quality of work. Hugs Ras.

Wow

Breanna Ramsey's picture

That was my first reaction. Morbid? Maybe, but then no more so than many classic fairy tales. It was clear with the first verse what was coming, and yet like any great work of horror it draws one in. I shuddered at the climax, and that's the mark of a story well told, that it generates a visceral response in the reader.

Well done, Ras!

Bree

The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
-- Tom Clancy

http://genomorph.tglibrary.com/ (Currently broken)
http://bree-ramsey314.livejournal.com/
Twitter: @genomorph

Thanks for the response everyone!

I was kinda worried that this might be a bit too black for the site, especially given the utter lack of TG content, so I'm glad that people don't seem to feel that way!

I know it doesn't come up too often in my writing here, but I really do enjoy dark, gothic and/or creepy literature. Lovecraft, Stoker, Poe... these people and more have had at least as much affect on me as the best authors here, or even Terry Pratchett and Douglas Adams. One day I hope to pen my own work of gothic horror, so little things like this are the perfect warm-up to that.

Keep commenting, peeps! I love seeing people's responses to my work. And, hey, even if you want to criticize it, go ahead: I can't improve my writing if I don't know when people have problems with it.

Melanie E.