My hands shake with nerves as I- and everyone else in the vast room- watch the action unfolding on the television with baited breath.

“Come on,” I whisper. “I know you can do it…”

“The winner,” the blonde TV presenter announces in her refined northern accent, “of Strictly Come Dancing 2015 is…” A long, agonising pause fills the room as everyone holds their breath, waiting for the inevitable announcement.

“…Hannah and Robin!” The presenter says in a happy voice, prompting a loud, riotous cheer from everyone around me- myself included.

“She did it!” I squeak excitedly. “She actually did it!” I bounce up and down on my seat with excitement as Hannah and her dance partner are presented the famous glitterball trophy, which they raise high above their heads before taking one last dance on the famous dancefloor. The whole room remains filled with excited cheering as the programme ends, though we eventually calm down enough for me to sit back down in my seat, next to my still-excited fiancé, and be able to hear what he’s saying.

“So cool,” Stuart sighs happily. “It really should’ve been you up there, though…”

“Nah, I’m happy with the level of fame I have,” I say. “I’ve got everything I need, some fame, a decent amount of fortune, friends, family, and last, but not least…” Stuart smiles I give the top of his thigh a quick squeeze, and I let out a quiet giggle as I find a familiar 'growth'.

“…And, of course, the genitals you were supposed to have been born with?” My fiancé asks, before laughing and giving me a long, gentle kiss. “I know THAT feeling all too well…”

“And now, I know that ‘feeling’ too,” I say with a wicked grin.

“Just… Not in public,” Stuart laughs, pointedly removing my hand from his thigh before standing up. “Want another drink?”

“Ah, yet more proof that you’re my soul mate,” I giggle, handing Stuart my empty champagne glass and relaxing back on the sofa. In truth, I AM a little envious of Hannah, just as I was of Charlotte when she appeared on the hit BBC show three years ago, but I truly do have everything I need in my life- especially the young man who, three months ago today, made me the happiest woman alive by slipping an antique diamond ring onto the third finger of my left hand, where it remains today.

Two days afterward, a doctor made Stuart the happiest man alive by slipping- or rather, surgically attaching- something very different, but no less precious, to the front of his pelvis, where it also remains today. Over the last three months, I’ve watched as Stuart’s recovered from his operation, even though he isn’t fully ‘done’ yet Unlike my SRS, his is a three-step procedure with months of recovery time between each step, so we haven’t yet had the opportunity to ‘use’ his new equipment. What’s most important, though, isn’t the ‘appendage’ that’s been permanently attached to his groin, but rather the smile that’s been permanently attached to his face ever since, even despite the pain of his recovery.

Sometimes I think back to where I was five years ago today, unemployed, living in squalor and with no idea of the life I was to lead, or of the woman I truly was inside. If you’d told me then that I’d be earning a six-figure sum each year simply from my own celebrity status, I’d have laughed in your face. If you’d told me then that I’d be attending a celebrity party dressed in a flimsy black cocktail dress, black hold-up stockings and skyscraper heels, I’d have punched you in the face… Or at least, I’d have made a feeble attempt to. And if you’d told me then that ultimately, I’d be the proud owner of a pair of breasts, a vagina AND be engaged to the man of my dreams (not to mention having to fight off other suitors left, right and centre), I’d have dismissed you as a deluded fool. And yet, here I am, hanging out with national celebrities and one of the best friends of the latest winner of Strictly Come Dancing- someone who wouldn’t even be famous enough to appear on the show if it wasn’t for my direct involvement in her life.

So yes, I don’t NEED all the fame and fortune that will inevitably be heading Hannah’s way in the coming few months. I don’t NEED anything more than I already have… But that doesn’t mean I’m going to stop trying, stop aspiring to have more, to BE more than I already am. After all, what kind of example would that set to mine & Stuart’s many godchildren?

“Here you go,” Stuart says, gingerly sitting down after handing me my drink. “Looking forward to the day when it takes me less than five minutes to sit down, heh!”

“…That’s not the ONLY day you’re looking forward to, right?” I ask, making Stuart giggle wickedly. Needless to say, we aren’t ALWAYS interested in setting a good example for the next generation!

Before Stuart can give me his answer, however, we’re interrupted by the head of the household parking herself next to me on the sofa and giving me a tight hug.

“Hey Jay!” Charlotte squeaks excitedly. “First, LOVE that dress, you are so telling me where you got it later; second, everyone looks like they’re having fun, which as hostess, pleases me; and third, how awesome was Hannah!?”

“She is SO amazing,” I gush. “No offence, but she may even have been better than you…”

“MAY have!?” Charlotte giggles. “I just got S-E-R-V-E-D!” Charlotte and I giggle as Stuart, in traditional male fashion, looks on in bemusement.

“Tomorrow’s party is going to be SO awesome,” I say. “And Monday’s, Viks’s birthday!”

“Three parties in three nights?” Stuart asks with a chuckle. “Or is tonight just a warm-up?”

“You’re only young once,” Charlotte tells my fiancé. “After all, next year Jamie and I will both be 25… Got to settle down eventually, though I don’t need to tell you that, Mr and soon-to-be Mrs Milton!”

“Oh, we’re not going to let a little thing like marriage stop us from having loads of youthful fun, are we?” Stuart asks, giving me a quick cuddle.

“Damn right we’re not,” I giggle. “You have to admit, we’ve both overcome bigger obstacles than that…”

“Ah, you ‘inspiration to the whole world’, you,” Charlotte laughs. “Whilst we’re on the topic of family, you didn’t happen to see the father of my son around, did you? I could’ve sworn I saw him earlier…”

“Yeah, he WAS here,” Stuart says. “Dunno if he’s stuck around or not.”

“Oh, okay,” Charlotte says, looking visibly deflated compared to her previous enthusiasm. “Well, I’ll keep an eye out for him, he can’t have gone far!” I smile as Charlotte stands up and goes back to mingling with the guests, but deep inside, I can’t help but feel terrible for my BFF. It’s been well over a year since she and Keith split up, and despite her reputation (and undeserved nickname) as ‘Charlotte the Harlot’, she hasn’t, to the best of my knowledge, taken another lover at any point during that time- and as you’d imagine, Charlotte and I share a lot with each other, so if she had, there’s no way I wouldn’t know. This has, however, left her feeling especially lonely- and driven home the fact that whilst I may have everything I need in my life, many of my friends don’t… And I feel obliged, as good BFF, to help them gain the happiness I have.

“I know that look on your face,” Stuart says, snapping me out of my ‘trance’.

“What ‘look’?” I ask.

“That look that says ‘I’m going to sort this out’,” Stuart says. “And don’t deny it, I know your face too well.”

“…But she’s obviously miserable without him,” I sigh.

“She’s been without him for the last year,” Stuart says. “She’s just miserable because Keith’s started hanging out with us again. She’ll get over him again, trust me.”

“You- You’re not allowed to use female intuition now that you’re not female anymore!” I laugh, making Stuart chuckle.

“It’s not that…” Stuart grimaces. “You- you know Keith and I have been hanging out again, with the rest of the lads?”

“Yes, and it’s about damn time,” I say with a smile.

“Well,” Stuart says quietly, “you know how girls, like, gossip?”

“I’m familiar with the concept, yes,” I laugh sarcastically. “Why, exactly?”

“It’s… It’s not like guys DON’T gossip,” Stu sighs. “Especially about sex. Not that I’ve ever gone into ANY detail about you and me, you understand…”

“Good,” I say, my smile falling. “Stu… What are you trying to tell me?”

“Keith…” Stu sighs. “This does NOT get back to the guys, okay?”

“Your ‘oath of brotherhood’ is safe,” I snort.

“Keith…” Stu whispers. “He says- he says he’s started seeing someone.” I gasp loudly, before grabbing Stu’s hand and leading him into the (thankfully empty) kitchen.

“He’s WHAT!?” I ask.

“I feel terrible about going behind his back like this,” Stu sighs. “But he says he met someone… This was only about a week ago that he told us, so I dunno how long it’s been going on. Again, you HAVE to promise me that this won’t get back to the guys…”

“Yes, yes, I promise,” I sigh, holding up my hands in mock-surrender. “Do you know who?”

“No,” Stuart sighs. “He just said he had a date, that he really liked the girl… Come on, let’s get back out there before they miss us.”

“Right,” I whisper, taking Stuart’s hand and heading to the kitchen door, only to be intercepted before we leave by Krystie and her boyfriend Mikey.

“Hey, Jamie,” Krystie says in a quiet, concerned voice. “Are you okay? You rushed out of the party like you’d just got the shock of your life…”

“It- it’s nothing,” I sigh.

“Is it about Keith’s new woman?” Mikey innocently asks, making Stuart smack his palm against his forehead. “What? I told Krystie, I know I can trust her…”

“Much like you told me because you can trust me,” I say, making Stuart sigh.

“Okay! Fine!” Stuart moans in exasperation.

“Wait, wait, you told Jamie?” Mikey asks, making myself & Krystie both giggle.

“BOYS!” Krystie and I both yell, giggling even harder as our outburst startles the two men.

“Seriously though,” I say as the two of us head back into the party, “who do you suppose it is?”

“God, I dunno,” Krystie sighs. “You- you don’t suppose it’s Hannah, do you? I mean, it’s not the sort of thing she’d do, but she is mega-famous now, and he is the son of a millionaire…”

“It- it can’t be, surely?” I say. “She’d have told us, especially Charlie…”

“Unless she can’t face telling her,” Krystie sighs. “Hannah has been single for a long, long time…” I sigh and nod as I stare over at Charlotte, who’s sat at the bar chatting to some of our friends having clearly been unable to find Keith.

“She’s not the only one,” I reply.

The last of the partygoers depart just after midnight, leaving myself, Charlotte and Stuart alone in the vast house. Rather than tidy up now, we head straight to bed, exhausted from the night’s excitement- and more than a little tired at the prospect of the following nights’ excitement!

“A party AND a show,” Stuart laughs as I step out of my short dress and slowly roll my stockings down my legs, before removing my earrings and my make-up and pulling on a short, sheer nightie. I giggle as I climb into bed next to my fiancé and wrap my arms around his firm, slender body, gently kissing him on the lips until he reciprocates and forces his tongue into my mouth, gently licking my teeth as his slim fingers find their way to my hardening nipples, before disengaging from my mouth and peppering my body with kisses until he finds my tender clitoris, which he teases with gentle licks and kisses until my body explodes in a powerful orgasm...

My body is still tingling as I wake up on Sunday morning and pepper Stuart’s face with gentle kisses until he slowly wakes up as well. I giggle as one of his tired brown eyes gazes at me with confusion, before a smile forms on his face as well. I never had the pleasure of meeting ‘Claire’- Stuart’s identity before his transition- so whenever I look at Stuart I only ever see the man he is, the man I fell in love with. However, on rare occasions- such as first thing in the morning- he lets his ‘guard’ down and I can see traces of the confused girl he used to be. I wonder if, sometimes, Stuart can see traces of the boy I used to be…

“Morning, sexy!” Stuart says, giving me a long, tender kiss.

“Morning, beautiful!” I reply, before stripping back the bed sheets and hopping out of bed. “You need to head back home today?”

“Nope,” Stu says with a smug grin. “I’m all yours today. And, of course, for every other day for the rest of our lives!”

“Mmm,” I moan happily as I head into the shower. “The rest of our lives can’t come soon enough! Speaking of, I’ve got a few pages open on my iPad, I was looking at place settings for the wedding, wanted your opinion.”

“We haven’t even chosen a VENUE for the wedding yet,” Stuart complains. “And you know I’m just going to agree with whatever you pick out anyway…”

“It’s as much your wedding as it is mine,” I say. “I know you won’t admit this publicly, but you must have imagined your dream wedding when you were- well, when you were younger, right?”

“Only because I have two sisters who insisted on dragging me into those discussions,” Stuart replies. “Genuinely never thought I’d get married, even after I started transitioning I never thought I’d become a groom…”

“Says the man- the ONLY man- to have slept with three of the Angels!” I giggle. Only man we can be sure of, anyway… I think to myself. “Like it or not, you’re a stud, and a hell of a catch for any woman!”

“There are worse reputations,” Stuart laughs, kissing me as he takes my place under the shower and I dress for the day in a comfortable sleeveless black bodysuit, black tights and a short grey sweater dress. I accessorise with a wide belt that accentuates my slimmed-down waist (and my widened hips) and dark grey leather knee-high boots with a high chunky heel. Stuart’s look for the day consists of a loose pair of boxer shorts- the likes of which I haven’t worn in years- followed by a pair of loose, but still smart black trousers, a dark red jumper and his favourite pair of tough brown boots. Every time I see Stuart’s ‘wardrobe’, I’m forced to laugh- whereas I own over a hundred pairs of shoes and boots in all shapes, styles and colours, Stuart owns a mere four- his boots, a pair of trainers and two pairs of smart black shoes (one of which I actually bought him last Christmas and he’s worn all of twice).

As we head downstairs, both of us smile happily as Charlotte’s front door opens and Eilish enters, carrying the ever-growing Keith junior in her arms.

“There’s my little boy!” Charlotte coos as she takes her son and gently cuddles him close to her. “Or should I say BIG boy! Did you have fun with grandma and grandpa?”

“Sure, I was barely able to tear him away from them!” Eilish laughs. “He’s their first grandchild and it’s his first Christmas, think they want to spoil him as much as they can!”

“They’re not the only ones!” Charlotte giggles, kissing Keith junior gently on his tiny nose. “Thanks for picking him up from Keith’s, Eilish.”

“Nah, it’s my pleasure,” the flame-haired Irish girl laughs. “Plus I could use any overtime I get, especially over Christmas, heh.”

“Well, I’m afraid this little one’s all mine today!” Charlotte giggles. “Thanks, Eilish. See you tomorrow?”

“Sure thing!” The Irish woman giggles as she gives Keith junior one last gentle kiss on his forehead before leading myself and Stuart out of the house (but not before we both take the opportunity to say goodbye to Keith Junior!).

“She was a real find for you two,” Stuart muses as I get into the passenger seat of his car.

“Yeah,” I say, watching Eilish drive away in her own small car. “Honestly think Charlotte would’ve gone mental by now if we hadn’t hired her. Assuming I wouldn’t have just taken the nanny job myself, heh.”

“Should I be jealous of this other man in your life?” Stuart asks with a chuckle.

“Absolutely!” I say, making Stuart laugh harder as we drive along to the home of my parents, where we’re greeted, as always, with long hugs from my mum, a hug for me from my dad and a firm, manly handshake for Stuart from dad.

“Hi Jamie!” Dad says with a warm smile. “Hello there Stuart, son! How you feeling?”

“Better!” Stuart laughs, earning a firm pat on the back as we’re led into the living room. Every time we see my parents, it always seems that dad’s more pleased to see Stuart than he is to see me, almost as if he’s the replacement for the son he lost. I know I shouldn’t be jealous, as Stuart is my fiancé, and I’m so glad that he has a strong relationship with his future in-laws. But still, every time I see him and dad joking together, a part of me feels a twinge of sadness- one of very few (possibly my only) regrets I have about my transition.

It’s not even like dad and I were particularly close before I became estranged from my parents- we never went on any father/son fishing trips, never went to see a football game together, never did any of the things that Stuart has done with his father since his transition- activities he’s also ironically done with MY father. I’m much closer to my mother than I was before my estrangement, which I’m thankful for, but I still that my dad would show me some of the affection he so openly shows his future son-in-law.

“No Charlotte today?” Mum asks. “Hope we get to see our god-grandchild before Christmas…”

“I told you, that’s not a real thing,” I say, making my parents laugh. “And I think she just wants a day in, we’ve got party after party to prepare for next week…”

“Ah yes,” dad says. “We were watching last night, be sure to pass our congratulations onto Hannah! Amazing to think that two years ago, she was just another girl, having sleepovers under this very roof…”

“I’ll let her know,” I giggle.

“And speaking of parties,” mum says, “your father hasn’t stopped fidgeting at any point over the last three days, he’s that excited about Tuesday!”

“Bit of an exaggeration,” dad says, clearly embarrassed by mum’s teasing. “You’ve got to admit though, it IS exciting…”

“Yeah, think you’re trying to get blood from a stone there, Mark,” Stuart chuckles. “I doubt Jamie’s as excited by Star Wars as she would be by, say, a new Bridget Jones movie…” This time it’s my turn to roll my eyes as the two men in my life have a chuckle at my expense.

“I MIGHT like it,” I retort, which only makes dad and Stuart chuckle even louder.

“Oh, leave her alone,” mum says, giving her husband a playful whack on the arm. “You know, Star Wars was the first film you ever went to see in the cinema. Your dad took you to see it when it was re-released when you were five.”

“Really?” I ask. “I don’t remember that…”

“Oh yeah, I remember that like it was yesterday,” dad says. “I didn’t take you to see any of the prequels because you didn’t seem too interested by the original three films, but you definitely went to see them in 1997.” Huh, so dad DID do things with me when I was younger, I think to myself.

“Did you see the original trilogy when they originally came out, Mark?” Stuart asks.

“Actually, one of our first dates was to see Return of the Jedi!” Dad laughs.

“If you’d taken us to see Star Wars on our first date, we would NOT be engaged right now!” I say to Stuart, making the room chuckle.

“…And if you insisted on dragging me to see a Bridget Jones film… Nah, I’d still have proposed,” Stuart laughs.

“The reason I’m asking about Tuesday,” Mum says, “Is because in the morning… I’m going to see your Aunt Sally.”

“…Ah,” I say, bristling at the mention of the so-called relative who went out of her way to antagonise me earlier this year by calling the police on me just because I sent her daughters- my cousins- a message on Facebook.

“I know, I know,” mum says. “But she IS my sister… Before your grandmother’s funeral, I hadn’t seen her in ages. Admittedly, we didn’t leave the funeral on speaking terms-“

“Try shouting terms,” I interrupt, earning a stern stare from my mother.

“-But I called her, asking if she wants to meet up, and she said yes,” mum says. “She did, um, say that she didn’t want you to go along on Tuesday.”

“Of course she did,” I sigh.

“Which is why I want BOTH of you to come along,” mum says proudly. “You’re my daughter and future son-in-law. In my eyes. That means that you’re a part of my family, and for better or worse, you’re a part of her family as well… And she’s part of yours. I’ve finally got a sister again, I want this relationship to work.”

“You realise that she’s the one who’s going to have to compromise, right?” I ask. “I can’t very well just stop being a woman, same with Stuart, he can’t stop being a man.”

“All of this will be made very clear to your aunt on Tuesday,” mum says. “But don’t you worry about that for now, your father and I will be there and we’ll be on your side. You just concentrate on enjoying your million nightly parties! You’ve worked hard enough this year, you deserve to kick back and relax. Starting with a proper Sunday lunch!”

“Sounds perfect,” I say with a happy smile. “And smells delicious, too!” Mum smiles as she returns to the kitchen to continue preparing our lunch- which indeed tasted as good as it smelled- before Stuart and I return home just after 4pm to help Charlotte prepare for the party. Most of the decorations are the same as were used for my Strictly Come Dancing-themed birthday party three years ago, as is the ‘costume’ I wear- my fiery red tango dress, which still fits perfectly and, more importantly, makes Stuart’s jaw drop almost to the floor once I’ve sealed myself in it, tied my hair, applied my ultra-thick make-up and slipped my feet into the dress’s matching heels.

“Oh. My. Fucking. God,” Stuart mouths as I sashay towards him, seductively wiggling my hips and allowing all of my slender bronzed legs to show through the dress’s high slits. “Seriously… You do know this is Hannah’s night, right? I’m pretty sure you’re going to show her up, dressed like that!”

“You haven’t see what she’s wearing yet!” I giggle, wrapping my arms around Stuart’s neck and giving him a long kiss. “Now get your costume on, the ‘judges’ await!” Stuart quickly pulls on his costume of tight- but not uncomfortably tight- black trousers and a hot red shirt that’s open just enough to show off the top of his pectoral muscles, the part of his body we’ve nicknamed his ‘anti-cleavage’. Once we’re both ready, we head downstairs to find Charlotte dressed in the tiny turquoise cha-cha-cha dress she wore to my 21st birthday party, as well as Krystie and Mary, who are wearing their foxtrot and jive dresses respectively.

“2012 flashbacks, anyone?” Mary giggles. “God, I haven’t worn this in ages… Thank god I can still fit into it, baby weight or no baby weight!”

“You can’t complain, your baby’s eighteen months old!” Charlotte jokes. “Unless you’re telling me that you’re pregnant again?”

“HELL no,” Mary giggles.

“On a related note,” Charlotte says, “be sure to pass on my love to Dan for babysitting tonight. And to you for making sure I won’t be the only ‘lone girl’ at the party…”

“Isn’t your dance partner from three years ago coming?” Krystie asks.

“If he can make it,” Charlotte says. “If not, I’ll just have to share Stuart!” I roll my eyes as Charlotte runs up to my fiancé and grabs his free arm.

“Get in line,” Mary says, grabbing the same arm as Charlotte and making Stuart look very uncomfortable, even as I giggle at the awkwardness of the situation.

“Face it,” I say as I wrap my arms around Stuart’s waist, “you’re a chick magnet!” The four of us giggle as Stuart sighs loudly, before we’re interrupted by a knock at the door.

“This’ll be Nikki,” I say. “I asked her to drop round to help set up.” When I open the door, however, it’s not my unofficial protégé who’s stood in front of me, but Eilish, and her make-up and fancy blue party dress hints that she very much expects to be a part of the party.

“Hi,” the Irish girl says nervously. “I- I know I wasn’t invited to the party, but-“

“Come on in,” Charlotte giggles. “How can I turn away my little boy’s second most favourite woman?” The four of us giggle as Eilish takes off her coat, and I can’t help but muse that with her beautiful flame-coloured hair, expertly-applied make-up and gorgeous dress, Eilish effortlessly fits in with us four professional models.

Before long, the rest of the guests arrive- including Matt, Charlotte’s dance partner from 2012- with the guest of honour herself being the last to arrive just after 8:30pm wearing a very low-cut sparkling white rumba dress that wows the crowd even as we serenade her (and her dance partner Robin) with Queen’s ‘We are the Champions’.

“Oh my god, oh my god!” Hannah squeaks as she and Robin are greeted by hugs. “Thank you all so, so much!”

“Especially for your votes!” Robin quips, making everyone laugh.

“Show us the glitterball!” Krystie yells.

“I don’t have it!” Hannah laughs. “The BBC keep it, we get a replica but I won’t get it until next year.”

“Good job that I had this made then, isn’t it?” Charlotte asks as she produces a large- almost three feet wide- sparkling trophy in the shape of a glitterball, which Hannah and Robin eagerly raise above their heads. It’s not long before all the partygoers are chatting and drinking, and of course, dancing, but after my third dance with Stuart, I catch a glimpse across the dancefloor of someone I’d hoped to avoid today.

“Ah, damn it,” I sigh, prompting a quizzical look from my fiancé. “Keith’s here. Thought he’d duck out of tonight seeing as he was here yesterday AND he’s coming on Tuesday…”

“Reckon he’s here with his new girlfriend?” Stuart asks.

“I’m sure of it,” I sigh. “I- I should tell Charlotte. Should’ve told her when I first heard about his new girlfriend…”

“That sounds like a girls-only thing,” Stuart says. “I’ll leave you two to it.” I sigh as Stuart heads off to dance with Mary, whilst I cautiously approach my BFF, who is, as always, sat at the bar entertaining her guests.

“Oh, hey there, best BFF ever!” Charlotte giggles. “Hey, how about you and me show these BOYS how it’s done? They reckon there’ll be same-sex couples on Strictly in the next couple of years, why not give them a preview now?”

“Umm, sure, but can we talk first?” I ask.

“Umm, okay,” Charlotte giggles. “Why so serious? Figures seeing as Stu’s now dancing with Mary, you wanted someone to dance with… God knows Keith isn’t dancing with me tonight.”

“That’s what I need to talk to you about,” I whisper, leading Charlotte into her kitchen. “Keith, he… I mean, I’ve heard rumours- I’ve been told- he- he-“

“Spit it out, for god’s sake!” Charlotte says, clearly worried by my increasing panic.

“…He’s got a new girlfriend,” I say, wincing as Charlotte’s face falls. “I’m sorry, I know this wasn’t news you wanted to hear-“

“No,” Charlotte sighs. “I knew it’d happen sooner or later. Do you know who?”

“No,” I whisper. “All I know is that it hasn’t been going on long. I don’t even know if it’s any of the girls, anyone we know… She may not even be here tonight.”

“God...” Charlotte sighs.

“Do you need a minute?” I ask.

“No,” Charlotte whispers, shaking her head. “It’s a party, I’m the host, better get back to it!” I smile sadly as Charlotte adopts her ‘public’ smile, the one she always flashes for paparazzi and for party guests, but which I know masks a deeply unhappy young woman. After we’re back in the party, Charlotte and I share the dance she’d promised, much to the delight of the other partygoers (even if we both found it strange to dance with another girl). It’s obvious that the Keith situation is playing on Charlotte’s mind, though, as less than ten minutes later, she grabs my hand and starts to lead me back to the kitchen.

“I- I need some air,” Charlotte sighs as we walk through the other partygoers. “Sorry…”

“No, if you’re having trouble, it’s fine,” I say. “I’ll take over ‘host’ duties, it’s fine.” Charlotte smiles as we open the door, but once we step into the kitchen, her face falls at the sight of what we find inside.

“K-Keith?” Charlotte asks, aghast at the sight of her ex-boyfriend locked in a passionate embrace with another woman. When she sees the identity of the woman, however, Charlotte’s face scrunches up in a look of pure fury. “Eilish!?”

“Ch-Charlotte!” The Irish woman nervously splutters, rearranging her dress from where it had clearly been lowered by Keith.

“What the hell are you doing!?” Charlotte screams, attracting the attention of the partygoers before I hastily close the kitchen door. “You! And you!?”

“Charlotte, we’ve been broken up over a year,” Keith says, but it’s immediately obvious that he’s not the target of Charlotte’s fury.

“How could you!?” Charlotte screams at Eilish, who recoils in fear. “Just hooking up with him without a care in the world after I trusted you, I took you into my home, gave you a job, even let you come to my party, just so you can jump down his throat!?”

“Charlotte, please, I-“ Eilish pleads, but with every word she only makes Charlotte angrier and angrier.

“You’re fired!” Charlotte shrieks. “Get the fuck out of my house! Both of you!” I shiver as Eilish’s eyes fill with tears and she and Keith slowly back out of the room- I know only too well how intimidating Charlotte can be when she’s enraged, and I also know the effect it usually has on Charlotte herself- as proved when she breaks down in tears the second Keith and Eilish are out of sight.

“Oh god, Charlie…” I sigh as I sit the distraught girl down and give her a tight hug. “I’m sorry, I’m so, so sorry, I shouldn’t have told you…”

“No, at least I had SOME warning,” Charlotte blubs. “But- but Eilish! Of all people!”

“I know, I know,” I sigh. “Are- are you really going to fire her?”

“I’m not going to pay that bitch to be my son’s stepmother, am I?” Charlotte asks, and I’m forced to nod in agreement. “I- I really thought there was a chance me and Keith could… I mean, we’ve been getting on so well as friends, I know he still feels something for me…”

“He’s an idiot,” I say. “Always has been.”

“I myself wasn’t exactly super-smart in my relationship with him, though,” Charlotte mumbles. “Or smart with my money, my career…”

“But you ARE a super-smart mum,” I say. “You’ve really, truly grown up over the last six months.”

“I think…” Charlotte muses. “That little boy may have saved my life, heh.” I sigh sadly, before giving Charlotte another long, tight hug.

“Want me to take over in there?” I ask.

“Please,” Charlotte sighs. “I- I’m going to head to bed. Thanks, Jamie.”

“That’s what BFFs are for,” I say, giving Charlotte another hug before exiting the kitchen to find an expectant crowd staring at me. “Charlotte’s not feeling well,” I announce. “She’s going to head to bed now, but that doesn’t mean we should stop partying!” I force a laugh out as I turn the music back up, but my smile soon fades as Krystie and Mary approach me with looks of concern on their faces.

“Did- did I really see Keith in there with Eilish?” Mary asks.

“’Fraid so,” I sigh.

“God almighty, poor Charlotte,” Krystie moans. “Is she okay?”

“I doubt it,” I say. “She’s gone to bed, she asked me to take over in here… I should be with her, though.”

“If she asked you to take over in here, then that’s what you should do,” Mary says. “I’ll go and look after her.”

“I was going to ask if you could come and help me set up at my new studio tomorrow,” Krystie sighs. “Think Charlie needs you more than me, though…”

“Ugh, and I’m at work tomorrow too,” I moan. “Agreed to do a TV spot, thought it’d be just a quick thing and I’d be done by 11am…”

“I’ll have a word with Mary,” Krystie says. “I’m sure she wouldn’t mind dropping round here early with the babies to cheer Charlie up. And before you say anything, I’ll talk to Viks too, explain what’s happening. Yes, it’s her birthday tomorrow, but you know her, she’d do anything for any of her friends.”

“Thanks,” I say with a smile, before putting on a brave face and yet again dancing around the room with my fiancé. The party lasts until 11pm, when the guest of honour and her partner- neither of whom I’ve had much of a chance to speak to tonight, what with all the drama- depart, closely followed by the rest of the partygoers, leaving myself and Stuart alone in the vast room.

“Ugh, can’t wait to take this dress off,” I sigh as I gather up some of the glasses and take them through to the kitchen.

“It’s practically ‘off’ already,” Stuart chuckles, earning a playful smack in the arm from me. “Can’t believe Keith, though. I mean, Eilish!? Conflict of interest, much?”

“Oh, definitely,” I say. “I doubt that was the first thing on Charlie’s mind when she fired her, though…”

“Charlotte fired Eilish!?” Stuart exclaims. “Jeez… After all the trouble you two went to to find a nanny in the first place…”

“Yep,” I sigh. “Back to square one now, I guess. Come on, let’s leave this to the cleaners, I’ve got an early start tomorrow.” Stuart smiles as he takes my hand and leads me up to my bedroom, where we carefully remove and hang up our party clothes before climbing under the bed sheets and falling asleep in each other’s arms. As I doze off, though, my thoughts are occupied by my BFF- it’s been over a year since she slept in the warm embrace of a man, and tonight she undoubtedly needs that kind of love more than ever.

My alarm wakes me at 7:30am, and after rubbing the tiredness out of my eyes, I get out of my bed (leaving Stuart still sleeping) and jump under the shower, cleansing my body before hastily applying a light layer of make-up (I trust that the make-up artists at the TV studio will do the rest) and pulling on a chic, short leather skirt, a tight black top and a pair of translucent tights. After pulling on my jewellery and touching up my nail polish, I hurry downstairs where I’m unsurprised to find that Charlotte hasn’t yet got up (Keith junior having stayed overnight at Mary & Dan’s place). I head straight into the kitchen, where I spring into action and prepare a breakfast of hot buttered croissants, three different types of jam, a fresh, chopped apple and rich Colombian coffee- all of which bring a smile to Charlotte’s face as I enter her bedroom and place the breakfast tray down beside her on her bed.

“Oh my god,” Charlotte giggles upon seeing the feast. “Thank you so much!”

“That’s what BFFs are for,” I say, giving Charlotte a tight hug. “Feeling any better this morning?”

“A little,” Charlotte sighs. “It’s still sinking in that Keith has finally moved on… I’m still not giving Eilish her job back, though. That’s- that’s just too close for comfort, if you get what I mean…”

“I do,” I say. “I’d better get going, got work today, Nikki’ll be here soon. Mary will be here in a bit with Keith junior, she’s also bringing round Kristina-Leigh so the two of you can have a ‘mummies united’ morning or something, heh.”

“Kinda depressing that my seven month old son already has a girlfriend when I’m still single,” Charlotte giggles. “You go, I’ll be fine. I’ll need to hit the gym after this breakfast, but I’ll be fine!” I smile as Charlotte tucks into her breakfast, before heading downstairs to find Mary, Keith junior, Kristina-Leigh and Nikki (my ‘assistant’ for the day) waiting at the front door.

“Come on, where is she?” Mary asks as she wheels the two children into the house in their buggies.

“Upstairs,” I say. “Just eating breakfast, but I’m sure she could use the company, especially of the cute young boy! I hope he didn’t give you and Dan too much trouble last night?”

“Sure, he was as good as gold,” Mary laughs. “It was a job prying him away from Dan, I’m certain that guy’s desperate to have a son.”

“Well, you know what to get him NEXT Christmas!” I giggle, playfully patting Mary’s belly as the young Irishwoman laughs. “You’ll have a job prying Keith junior away from his girlfriend too, won’t she, Keithy?” Mary and I both giggle as the two infants excitedly laugh at my teasing.

“He’ll be going out with my baby sister when he’s older!” Nikki says, making myself and Mary laugh.

“You wish,” Mary chuckles. “See yous two later, okay?”

“See you later,” I reply, giving Mary a quick hug before following Nikki to her car.

“Mary filled me on what happened last night with Charlotte, Keith and your nanny,” Nikki says. “I can’t believe it… I hope she’s okay.”

“She’ll be okay now that Mary’s there,” I say. “HATE leaving her alone… And as if that wasn’t bad enough, tomorrow I’m going to have a face-to-face with the dreaded Aunt Sally…”

“What, the same woman who tried to have you arrested?” Nikki asks, sighing as I nod. “Why, exactly?”

“Mum wants to catch up with her,” I shrug. “She is her sister, after all, and they were estranged for a long time… And I was estranged from her for a long time, and that relationship healed, so maybe she hopes she can, after all, be one big, happy family, I dunno.”

“I’m happy to go with you if you want,” Nikki offers. “Me AND Sarah. Maybe rubbing a legally engaged same-sex part-transgender couple in their face will take some wind out of her sails, I dunno."

“I’d appreciate that,” I say with a smile. “Actually, my cousins may be there too, the older one’s about your age, the younger one’s 14 so you never know, might be a fan!”

“Heh, maybe,” Nikki laughs. “Might be worth calling Steph as well if they’re that age, they might be fans of Out of Heaven?”

“No, the band’s at work tomorrow,” I say. “I dunno if Hannah’s busy or not, though.”

“Does she normally stay with her family over Christmas?” Nikki asks. “I think she said she had brothers who lives elsewhere.”

“That’s… That’s kinda a sensitive subject,” I grimace. “God, I wouldn’t want to be Hannah knowing I’ll have to field questions about that… I’ll give her a call tomorrow, but you and Sarah coming along would be really appreciated.”

“After everything you’ve done for me this year, it’s the least I can do,” Nikki giggles as we head toward our ‘workplace’ for the day. Upon arrival, I’m escorted to my Nikki-approved dressing room where I swap my light tights for a dark pair with a funky pattern. Today’s ‘appearance’ is an endorsement for a new brand of designer tights who’ve asked (and paid a lot of money for) me to be their spokeswoman, so it’s only fair I ‘fly the flag’ (it’s also wear I’m wearing a skirt much shorter than I’d usually wear in December). As I step out of the dressing room, I’m greeted by the other three models Joshua sent along, all of whom are wearing similar pairs of tights over plain black leotards. A smile creeps over my face as I recognise one of the models- or rather, as I recognise her incredible 41 inch long legs.

“Hey Jamie!” Dannii squeaks as she gives me a friendly hug, much to the delight of the other girls. “Thanks SO much for getting me this gig today.”

“Hey, when you think ‘tights’ you think ‘legs’, and when you think ‘legs’ you think ‘Dannii’!” I say, making the tall girl laugh.

“Yeah, I’ve had more than one hosiery firm approach me since I turned eighteen,” Dannii giggles, before the two of us are interrupted by a very familiar voice.

“Hey there, gorgeous!” The voice of Paul Gould, my ex-boyfriend, calls. “And Jamie. Hi to you too.” I watch with a stoic face as Paul gives Dannii (who is eight years his junior) a long, deep kiss before giving her nylon-covered buttock a playful squeeze.

“Hey you!” Dannii giggles in a sickeningly sweet voice. “And hands off! Don’t want to walk out on national TV with a ladder on my arse…”

“You could always take the tights off,” Paul shrugs, making Dannii giggle yet again.

“Maybe later,” the blonde girl says, giving Paul another kiss before following me to the backstage area. It was four years ago- almost to the day- that Paul and I became boyfriend and girlfriend, and not long afterward that I lost (or rather, willingly gave up) my virginity to him. If it hadn’t been for his selfish actions when we broke up, I’d probably still be with him now, but as I see him and Dannii fooling around together, I feel a sense of pride as I realise that it stirs no feelings inside me whatsoever. No envy, no jealousy, nothing. If Dannii wants him, she’s more than welcome to have him.

As always, the TV spot goes well- I sing the praises of the tights as the models show them off (with Dannii in particular showing off her extra-long legs), and after the cameras have stopped rolling, I jump back into Nikki’s car and head back home.

“That’s your last gig until after Christmas, isn’t it?” My ‘protégé’ asks.

“Yes,” I say, letting out a light chuckle. “I notice you didn’t talk to Dannii whilst you were in there… You two still not on speaking terms?”

“’On speaking terms’: yes, ‘friends’: not really,” Nikki grimaces. “We- we’ve sort-of agreed to have a ‘work relationship’ only. Not that any of us are getting any modelling work now that the other girls are all at uni…”

“They’re broken up now, aren’t they?” I ask. “God knows I’ve got all my work done for the first half of the year…”

“Ooh yes, I did mean to ask,” Nikki laughs. “Still averaging a 2:2?”

“A high 2:2, yes,” I giggle. “Might get a 2:1 if I’m lucky, though if I do get a 2:2, no prizes for guessing who’s offered to organise my graduation party…”

“Let me guess: would it also involve pointe shoes?” Nikki asks.

“Good guess,” I say, making us both giggle girlishly. “I’m guessing all your girls are averaging firsts?”

“Yep!” Nikki says with pride. “Sarah’s even on course for a distinction.”

“Given who her mother is, I’m not surprised,” I laugh as I think of the counsellor who helped me through the first year of my transition. “Do you know if Beverly’s free tomorrow? It couldn’t hurt to have a professional along to ease the tension…”

“I’ll ask her tonight,” Nikki says. “Though I did text Hannah at the studio, and she’s up for tomorrow!”

“Sweet!” I squeak. “Thank you so much for that, that’s one less job for me to do.”

“Yep!” Nikki says. “Now all we have to do is get your house ready for its third party in as many days…” I laugh as we head back to my home, where- after spending a couple of minutes cooing over Kristina-Leigh and Keith junior- Nikki and I (and our regular band of helpers) set about packing away the ‘Strictly Come Dancing’ paraphernalia from last night and replacing it with pink and black decorations, the centrepiece of which are a pair of balloons in pink and black checks, one in the shape of the number ‘2’ and one in the shape of the number ‘3’. Unlike the last two years, when Viks had the most elaborate birthday parties out of all of us, this year we’re having no specific ‘theme’ other than ‘Victoria Brooks is awesome’. All of the party guests, however, are required to wear black nail polish on their fingernails- even the boys, which makes me giggle when I see Stuart head into the room with his fingernails covered in the shiny black liquid.

“For the record,” my fiancé says after giving me a kiss, “I hated wearing this stuff ten years ago, I hate wearing it now, you’d better have the remover ready for after the party.”

“Also for the record,” I retort, “if you WEREN’T post-op I’d have argued to give you a sort-of ‘exemption’, but as you’re now ‘endowed’, that means you’re no different from any of the other boys, so man up and wear your nail polish!”

“…Fine,” Stuart sighs, before laughing. “I suppose I could always do that trick where you stick your hand under your thigh so it looks like you're masturbating with someone else's hand…”

“Don’t you dare!” I laugh. “You’re not doing anything to that, well, ‘thing’ until your doctors give you the green light. I want it to be nice and strong for our wedding night!” I smile as Stuart chuckles and nods. “On a happier and more ‘family-friendly’ note, how were Emma and her family?”

“They’re great, yeah,” Stuart says with a smile. “You can tell they’re looking forward to spoiling little Ray for his first Christmas, even though he’s too young to remember it. Tried to persuade Emma to come back here to join Charlotte & Mary’s ‘mother’s club’… This may sound weird, but, you know, it’s kinda important to me that little Ray becomes friends with Keith junior and Kristina-Leigh…”

“Doesn’t sound weird at all,” I say with a smile. “I think Nikki’s the same way with her sister…”

“’The Angels: The Next Generation’, heh,” Stuart chuckles. “Is- is Charlotte feeling better today?”

“She’s getting there,” I say. “Now in addition to manning up and wearing your nail polish, you can put those pretty hands to work and help us decorate this room!”

“Yes ma’am,” Stuart laughs as he fetches the freshly-cleaned glassware from the kitchen.

Less than four hours later, the main room is once again filled with partygoers, each of them wearing the same black nail polish that has quickly become a trademark of the guest of honour, who blushes and giggles with embarrassment as she’s greeted with three cheers and a round of ‘happy birthday’.

“Oh my god, thank you all so much!” Viks squeaks. “I know you’re all probably ‘partied out’, but it really means a lot to me that you’re here today. Especially those pretty fingernails of yours!”

“To Viks!” Hannah cheers. “The kindest, most beautiful and most talented woman I know.”

“To Viks!” Everyone cheers, before the music- and by extension, the party- restarts.

“Thanks for agreeing to come with me tomorrow,” I say to Hannah as we get a drink from the bar. “Thought you’d be too busy now being a major national celebrity, heh.”

“I’m never too busy for my friends,” Hannah says. “If it wasn’t for you guys, I wouldn’t even be ANY type of celebrity.”

“And neither would Viks,” I muse. “I remember when we met her, she was this shy, quiet student… Now look at her, with her celebrity parties, magazines clamouring for the rights to her wedding…”

“If it wasn’t for Viks I wouldn’t even be any type of PERSON, let alone model or celebrity,” Hannah muses. “But, speaking of weddings…”

“I’m still deciding my bridesmaids,” I giggle. “I don’t know how many I’m going to have yet, and I really want Charlotte and Nikki…”

“Okay, no rush, and no pressure either,” Hannah giggles. “Speaking of Charlotte, where is she? Could’ve sworn I saw her a couple of minutes ago?”

“She should be here, Keith’s parents are looking after the little one again,” I say as I scan the room looking for my BFF. Before I can spot her, however, I catch a glimpse of the likely reason she’s no longer at the party- Keith is here, and so is his new girlfriend. “Ugh, excuse me…” I say to Hannah as I head toward the new couple.

“Sure, I wish I didn’t have such pale skin<” Eilish moans as she inspects her black nail polish. “I look like a piano…”

“Yeah, YOU’RE the one who looks odd,” Keith laughs as he wiggles his black fingernails for the Irish girl.

“Can I have a word?” I ask the couple, barely disguising the anger in my voice.

“Umm, with both of us?” Eilish asks, clearly surprised by my hostility.

“Why are you even here after what you did yesterday?” I hiss.

“Jon invited me,” Keith says. “I invited Eilish. Guys do usually bring their girlfriends to parties, you know.”

“Even parties at their emotionally delicate ex’s?” I ask.

“Eilish and I are together now,” Keith states bluntly. “The sooner Charlotte gets used to the idea, the better it’ll be in the long run.”

“Yeah, well there’s something the two of you can certainly ‘get’,” I spit as I turn my back on the couple.

“Jamie- wait,” Keith sighs. “Can we talk in private, please?”

“Okay,” I say stoically as I lead Keith to the kitchen. “Talk.”

“First off,” Keith says, “there’s no need to be so hostile. I’ve been single for over a year, so has Charlotte. I didn’t stop her from moving on and she shouldn’t stop me! Unless, of course, this is about something other than her…”

“Oh-“ I spit as my blood starts to boil. “You utter arsehole! This is nothing to do with ‘me and you’. There’s no such thing as ‘me and you’ and there never will be!”

“Your loss,” Keith shrugs.

“I’m engaged to Stuart,” I say smugly retort. “My GAIN. Why- why are you being such a dickhead about this, Keith? You and Charlotte have been getting on brilliantly as of late, why go all- all ‘caveman’ now?” I stare at Keith with a determined gaze as his anger starts to rise, before- much to my surprise- he sighs sadly and slumps down into a chair.

“It- it’s not been easy,” Keith moans. “Seeing Charlotte every day like that, especially as she’s always got our son with her…”

“Tell me more,” I whisper, my own mood immediately softening.

“I- I still love her, Jamie,” Keith sighs. “I mean, I know I shouldn’t, and I try not to, but-“

“But you spent so many years together,” I say quietly.

“Exactly,” Keith sighs. “Then I met Eilish when she was picking up junior to take home to Charlotte, we got talking, last week I asked her out, we hit it off… But I can’t stop thinking about Charlotte.”

“You need to decide what it is you really want,” I say. “Whether that’s your old life with Charlotte- as a family- or a fresh start with Eilish. It isn’t fair to either of them to keep them hanging on like this, and it isn’t fair on you, either. And it’s especially unfair on your son! He really likes Eilish-“

“I can’t believe Charlie fired her just like that,” Keith moans. “She worked hard to get that job.”

“She worked hard IN that job,” I say. “But if she goes out with you, then it’d be a conflict of interests, surely you realise that?”

“…Yes,” Keith sighs after a long pause. “God… What do I do, Jamie?”

“I’m the last person you should ask,” I say.

“Then who do I ask?” Keith moans.

“This is something only you can work out for yourself,” I say. “Trust me- I’ve been in your exact position. All I can say is that whatever you do choose, it WILL work out in the end.”

“Well, thanks anyway,” Keith sighs. “I- I should get back to Eilish…”

“Yeah,” I whisper as I follow Keith out of the kitchen and am hit with a sudden wave of self-consciousness- the last thing I need right now is for Stuart to see me emerging from a private room with a former lover, so I head directly over to where he’s sat on a sofa, talking with friends.

“Hey you!” I coo, sitting down next to Stuart and wrapping my arms around his waist.

“Hey babe,” Stuart says, greeting me with a kiss. “Is Keith okay?” My eyes go wide as I realise that Stuart must have seen me coming out of the kitchen with Keith- god only know what he must be thinking…

“We were only talking,” I say in a slightly panicked voice. “That’s all, I-“

“Yes, and I want to know what you were talking about,” Stuart laughs. “What? Don’t assume I’m going to mistrust you, Jamie. I wouldn’t have asked you to marry me if I didn’t believe I could trust you 100%.” I take a deep breath as Stuart’s words cause tears of happiness to form in my eyes.

“I love you so much,” I whisper as I give Stuart a long, deep kiss- which deeply embarrasses him in front of his friends.

“Get a room!” Dan laughs as I release Stuart from our ‘clinch’ and rub a stray speck of lipstick from his mouth.

“Seriously though,” Paul- not my ex-boyfriend Paul, but rather Dan’s best friend- asks. “Is Keith okay? Obviously we don’t want details, but still, you know…”

“BOYS,” I say loudly at the three young men. “Try talking about your feelings a bit more and you’d find out for yourselves!”

“Pass,” Dan says with a smug snort, which earns him a playful whack in the arm with a cushion.

“Whatever you were talking about, you weren’t in there very long,” Stuart observes. “Always figured Keith was ‘uncomplicated’, but still…”

“It’s not Keith, it’s all men,” I say with a smug smile that prompts a chuckle from the three men.

“Normally someone would say ‘no offence’ at this point, but Jamie actually DOES mean offence,” Stuart says, earning himself a whack with a cushion as Dan and Paul laugh on.

“Seriously though,” I say, “Keith was the easy part… The next bit won’t be so easy.” The three men all smile sadly as they realise precisely what- and more to the point, who- I’m referring to.

With Stuart’s help, I sneak out of the party again (leaving the ‘hosting’ duties in his capable hands) and head upstairs, where I unsurprisingly find Charlotte curled up in a ball on her bed.

“Hey, Charlie,” I whisper as I enter the darkened room. “You okay?”

“I told them I was ill yesterday,” Charlotte mumbles. “Should be able to ride that excuse out today and tomorrow…”

“Yeah,” I say. “But you can’t ride it out forever.”

“I can try,” Charlotte moans. “I thought- I thought I was ready for it today, seeing him with her…”

“Oh, Charlotte…” I sigh, giving the distraught girl a long hug. “You’re still an amazing, intelligent, sexy, successful woman who every straight man in the UK would give their right arm to be with. Never, ever forget that.”

“I’m still ‘Charlotte the Harlot’,” my BFF moans. “But you’re right, I can’t hide forever…” I smile sadly as Charlotte stands up, straightens her stockings and her short, glittery dress and leads me back to the party, where we slip back in and start mingling as though we’d never been away- though every time Charlotte’s eyes glance over at Keith and Eilish, they get sadder and sadder, to the point that she’s barely holding back tears as the party ends just after 11:30pm. To make matters worse, Keith and Eilish are among the last to leave, and both look uncomfortable as Stuart and I see them out.

“Will we see you both tomorrow night?” I ask as the new couple head toward Keith’s car.

“Yeah, shouldn’t be a problem getting mum and dad to babysit again, they adore that kid,” Keith laughs. “I kinda feel bad accepting some of Charlotte’s tickets, though…”

“In fairness, she doesn’t really have any other family,” Stuart says. “See you tomorrow, mate.”

“Yeah, see you, mate,” Keith says, before turning to face me. “Thanks for the talk… It helped a lot.” With Stuart and Eilish watching on, Keith leans into me and gives me a gentle, friendly hug- nothing sexual at all, just the kind of hug one old friend would give another.

“See you tomorrow,” I say to the man for whom I had strong feelings for a long, long time- but for whom I now feel nothing but pity. My own experiences, however, tell me that I can trust Keith to make the right decision, as is proven when Stuart links his fingers with mine and together we walk back into the vast house. Whether or not Charlotte will be able to cope with Keith’s decision is another matter entirely…

“Thanks for being so understanding,” I giggle as I remove the black polish from Stuart’s fingernails. “And not just about the nail polish, I mean about Keith, too… Some men I know would flip if they saw their fiancée hugging another man…”

“Yeah, well I recently grew a pair,” Stuart says, making me giggle. “Keith, Charlotte and Eilish will be fine, regardless of what happens. I’m kinda surprised Charlotte hasn’t already moved on herself.”

“She… She’s someone who kinda has a hard time letting go,” I sigh. “She still regularly visits her mother’s grave, and it’s been over ten years since she died.”

“It’s a shame she doesn’t have any aunts or uncles she can lean on for support,” Stuart muses, reminding me of my impending ‘encounter’.

“Speaking of,” I say, “we’d better get some sleep. Yet another long day tomorrow…” Stuart smiles as I dry his now-colourless fingernails, before stripping off my slinky cocktail dress and stockings and pulling on a warm, comfortable nightie. Mere minutes later, the two of us are cuddled together underneath my bed sheets, and for the second night in a row, my thoughts are with Charlotte, who is undoubtedly once again huddled under her sheets by herself, dreaming of the man who used to share her bed every night…

Despite the fact that I had very little to drink last night, my head still throbs when my phone’s alarm wakes me up- though it becomes apparent that the headache is more due to stress than the non-stop parties I’ve been attending.

“Hey,” Stuart moans as he slowly wakes up. “If- if you’re feeling stressed out, let’s just skip today, tell your parents you’re feeling under the weather, or you’ve changed your mind…” I smile and roll my eyes at just how easy it is for Stuart to ‘read’ me, even after he’s only been awake for mere seconds.

“No, I promised my mum I’d be there,” I sigh. “Plus, I twisted a few arms to come along for ‘back-up’, would be kinda lame if I ducked out last minute.”

“They’re your friends,” Stuart argues. “They’d understand.”

“If you don’t want to go, you can stay home,” I say, my irritation growing at my fiancé’s attempts to talk me out of the lunch.

“There’s no way I’m letting you go without me,” Stuart says, making me smile. “I just hate seeing you stressed like this.”

“I’ll be less stressed once this is done,” I say, before applying my make-up and pulling on a chic short black skater skirt, a tight grey and black striped top and thick black tights, completing my look with a pair of ankle booties, my favourite jewellery (including the special necklace that Charlotte got me for Christmas last year, and my most expensive handbag.

“Gorgeous,” Stuart says with a smile, before giving me a gentle kiss.

“So are you,” I giggle at the sexy young man in his smart shirt, tie and trousers. “Though lose the tie, we’re not going to the Savoy, for god’s sake.”

“Sorry,” Stuart says as he removes the neckwear and undoes his top button. “Just a ‘macho’ thing, I guess… It’s comparatively easy for you to show the world that you’re a woman, all you have to do is pull on a skirt… But as girls can wear any male clothes, it’s a bit trickier the other way round. Better?”

“Actually,” I say, smiling happily at Stuart’s ‘explanation’, “you look better WITH the tie. You ARE a man, after all, we don’t want Aunt Sally getting the wrong impression now, do we?” Stuart smiles as he refastens his top button and pulls his tie back on, expertly tying it around his slender neck. “MUCH better!” I giggle as I take Stuart’s hand and head downstairs, where Charlotte is already awake and feeding her son, who must have been dropped off whilst Stuart and I were still asleep.

“Hey,” I whisper to my BFF as I pour myself and Stuart a cup of coffee. “Feeling any better this morning?”

“A little,” Charlotte sighs. “Getting some sleep helped, getting this little one back helped even more!” I giggle as I playfully wave to the giggling infant.

“Who brought him back?” I ask cautiously. “Was- was it Eilish?”

“I picked him up myself,” Charlotte whispers. “Only spoke to Keith’s dad, didn’t see either Keith or Eilish, if either of them was even there. I- I don’t think I can face her again, not yet, anyway, not after what I said…”

“You WERE justified in firing her,” I say softly. “Keith himself said so yesterday.”

“Did- did he say anything about me?” Charlotte asks expectantly, and I feel my body start to tense up as I’m put on the spot- do I tell Charlotte that Keith has feelings for her, or would that risk getting her hopes up and setting her up for an even bigger fall?

“He- you- you should ask him yourself, tonight,” I say, before breathing a sigh of relief as a loud knock comes from Charlotte’s front door.

“That’ll be Emma,” Stuart says. “Thanks for agreeing to this, Charlotte.”

“Nah, it’ll be good for little Keithy to play with other boys,” Charlotte says. “And your nephew is so, so cute!”

“AND Emma owes me for giving her and her husband some of my Star Wars tickets,” I giggle. “I’ll see you later, okay?”

“I’ll be fine,” Charlotte says with a smile. “You two go… And good luck, Jamie.”

“Thanks, Charlie,” I whisper as I follow Stuart out to his car, stopping to give his sister (and his nephew!) a quick hug along the way. I take a deep breath as I sit down in the passenger seat of his car to try to calm my nerves before my fiancé drives us toward my parents’ house.

“Try to remain calm,” Stuart says. “Trust me, you’re not going to do yourself any favours by getting all worked up. I know this from experience.”

“Your grandmother,” I whisper, remembering Stuart’s disastrous attempt at reconciliation from earlier in the year.

“Exactly,” Stuart says in a small, quiet voice. “Is your Aunt particularly religious?”

“Not really,” I say. “Think she had my cousins christened, but even then one of them was born out of wedlock.”

“Well, that’s one argument you can immediately shoot down,” Stuart says smugly. “And even you are lost for words, don’t forget that your parents will be there too, and if there’s one thing Susan can do, it’s talk up her amazing, gorgeous, girly daughter!” I giggle happily as we arrive at the house of my parents, who slide onto Stuart’s back seat.

“Thanks for the lift, Stu,” dad says as we head toward our lunch rendezvous.

“Not a problem, Mark,” Stuart says. “Shouldn’t really be drinking anyway whilst I’m recovering.”

“If only you’d told Jamie that last spring,” mum says, making me grimace with embarrassment.

“Thanks for that, mum,” I sigh. “Mum, I- I’ve kinda, um, invited a couple of friends along today, for, um, moral support…”

“Oh- you know this was meant to be a FAMILY thing, right?” Mum asks. “I mean yes, obviously Stuart IS family, and Charlotte would’ve been just about okay… Who did you ask?”

“Hannah, Nikki and Sarah,” I say. “Figured Hannah will wow them into silence, Nikki & Sarah can show that what I- what we are is nothing abnormal… I can call them if you’d prefer them not to come…”

“No, it’s okay,” mum says. “You invited them, it’d be rude to un-invite them. Just- ask me next time, please?”

“Sorry,” I mumble as we head into the centre of London. A short while later, we park outside the small, elegant café mum picked out for lunch. Unsurprisingly, the ever-punctual Hannah, Nikki and Sarah are already present and greet us with hugs and handshakes before entering the café (even if I do wilt under another disapproving stare from my mother).

“I LOVE that skirt, Jamie!” Hannah coos as we sit down. “You’re gonna have to tell me where you got it!”

“That can be arranged,” I say with a giggle. “Thanks for coming along today, you’re not too busy with interviews and media appearances, I take it?”

“Ugh, Joshua’s milking me for all I’m worth!” Hannah laughs. “Even if this series of Angels is the last, Joshua’s got enough work lined up for me to last until I’m fifty, so I’m glad just to be able to come along and help out a friend in need.”

“Likewise,” Nikki says with a smile.

“And you never know,” Sarah says with a smug grin. “You said your aunt has two girls, she might not have finished her Christmas shopping yet and I’ve got a closet full of stock from my web shop…”

“Thank you for coming along, girls,” mum says, silencing me and my friends before we have a chance to giggle at Sarah’s quip. “This is really a family thing only, but Jamie’s said she considers you as good as family, and that’s good enough for me.” I smile at mum’s half-truth- I never said aloud that I consider the girls family, but that doesn’t make what she just said any less true.

“Sally said she’d be here just after twelve,” dad says. “Got a while to wait… So, while we wait, Hannah- do they let you take the glitterball home?” The seven of us all laugh as Hannah rolls her eyes at the question she’s inevitably been asked a hundred times over the last few days, before delighting us with tales of her recent stardom. Not long afterward, however, the familiar sight of my aunt and her two young daughters appears in the window outside the café.

“Showtime,” I whisper to myself, making Stuart squeeze my hand supportively. Aunt Sally has a smile on her face as she enters the café and spots my mum, who stands up and greets her sister with a hug.

“Susan!” Aunt Sally says in a happy voice. “Thanks for agreeing to meet up so close to Christmas, you remember Nina and Annalise, right?”

“How could I forget?” Mum chuckles, giving her nieces a quick hug each before gesturing to where I and the rest of my ‘gang’ are sat. I shiver slightly as Aunt Sally’s smile immediately turns into a scowl.

“What is SHE doing here?” My aunt hisses, making me smirk- if she’s already referring to me as ‘she’, then that’s one obstacle already overcome…

“You brought your daughter along, I bring my daughter along,” mum says with a smug smile, widening my smirk, which turns into a full-fledged grin as Nina and Annalise catch a glimpse of the tall, blonde woman sat next to me.

“Oh. My God,” Nina- the older of the two girls- breathes. “Are- are you Hannah Dexter?”

“Guilty as charged!” Hannah giggles as the two teenagers bounce up and down excitedly.

“Of course, my daughter also brought along some of her friends,” mum says, shooting me another disapproving look that isn’t nearly as withering as her previous ones. “But then, she always has been a strong-willed, independent, successful young woman, the kind any mother would be proud to call their daughter!” My grin quickly turns into one of embarrassment as mum heaps her praise on me.

“Mum, she’s a celebrity!” Nina pleads. “And she’s our cousin!”

“’SHE’ used to be a ‘HE’!” My aunt hisses, but her anger begins to wane as she sees that my ‘status’ makes no difference whatsoever to her children.

“So what?” Annalise asks. “’SHE’ is now a ‘SHE’, that’s how these things work!”

“But- but not a ‘real’ she,” Aunt Sally pleads.

“What, you mean genetically female, like me?” Stuart asks, raising his hand and causing my aunt to recoil in shock. “Hi, I’m Stuart Milton, I was born in March 1990 as Claire Milton, and I’m Jamie’s fiancé. With one ‘E’.”

“And I’m Stuart’s fiancée with TWO ‘E’s,” I say smugly, showing off my engagement ring, which my cousins immediately start to coo over.

“This isn’t some silly whim,” mum says to Aunt Sally, who looks more and more defeated with every counter-argument. “Jamie IS a woman, she IS your niece, she IS your daughters’ cousin. I suggest you learn to accept and love her just as we have, or we’ll have to bid you farewell.”

“But- but-“ Aunt Sally stammers, suddenly aware that everyone in the cafe- not just our ‘party’- is staring at her. “It’s not natural…”

“We’re sat inside a brick building on chairs made partially out of plastic and about to eat oven-cooked food off of a decorated ceramic plate using metal cutlery,” dad says. “How are you defining ‘natural’?” I smirk as the defiance completely drains from Aunt Sally’s face, though a part of me is beginning to feel almost sorry for her.

“You wanted to meet to catch up and clear the air,” mum says. “I want that too, but that won’t happen whilst you refuse to accept my daughter for who she is.”

“Mum, come on…” Annalise pleads. “You said how much you were looking forward to this, please…” Time seems to freeze as Aunt Sally stands stock still with a stoic expression on her face, clearly mulling over her decision, even though the choice should be a no-brainer- she’s clearly in a minority of one with her opinions. Ultimately, and without saying a word, my aunt calmly strides toward the table where we’re all sat and takes a seat herself, bringing smiles to mine and my mother’s faces and cheers to my cousins’ mouths.

“Oh my god, this is so cool!” Nina squeaks as she sits down next to her mother.

“We’re still family, despite your ‘decision’,” Aunt Sally says. “I’m willing to try if you are.”

“Of course,” I say with a warm smile. “It’s for the best too, as we’ve got a fairly large bundle of presents in the boot of Stuart’s car for you and the girls…”

“Oh- you shouldn’t have done, we didn’t get you anything,” Aunt Sally says, her anger quickly turning into a well-deserved sense of embarrassment.

“Trust me, it’s no bother,” I giggle. “I’ve always said that you can never have too many friends… The same goes for family.” For the first time since she set eyes on me, my aunt smiles, causing my previously defiant grin to turn into one of genuine happiness. For the next ninety minutes, the ten of us eat, drink and gossip about our lives. Unsurprisingly, Nina and Annalise have plenty of questions for myself and Hannah about the Angels, about our ‘celebrity lifestyles’ and our now-legendary parties, whilst my aunt asks the questions I’ve answered hundreds of times over the past five years- why I chose to transition, whether I prefer life as a woman and so forth. By the time we leave the café, my mother and my aunt are chatting as though they’d never been estranged, whilst Nina and Annalise have quickly become close friends of mine (and Hannah, Nikki and Sarah!).

“This has been so cool,” Nina gushes as we head out to her cars and I hand her the bagful of presents I’d promised earlier. “Hey… Given that we’re, you know, relatives, like, blood relatives…"

“Yes…?” I ask, barely suppressing a giggle.

“It’s kinda, like, my birthday next month,” the blonde girl says in a coy voice. “My eighteenth, I don’t suppose you want to, you know, given that we’re cousins and all…”

“I’ll be there,” I say with a smile, making Nina giggle excitedly. “Provided that’s okay with your mother, of course?”

“Of course,” Aunt Sally says with a warm- albeit cautious- smile.

“Are you heading back home now?” Mum asks. “If you’re not in any rush we’d be happy to have you and the girls over for dinner.”

“Actually, I’d like that,” Aunt Sally says. “We’d booked into a Travelodge as I’d promised the girls a proper London shopping trip tomorrow, but we’re at a loose end tonight.”

“Really?” Hannah asks with a cocky grin. “Because the four of us- not to mention the rest of the Angels, the Teen Angels AND all of Out of Heaven- are kinda heading out tonight to see a movie, and I do believe that Miss Burke has a few spare tickets…”

“I might,” I say. “It’s to see the new Star Wars film, the owner of our agency booked every seat at a local cinema and wanted to make it a big, fancy event for everyone at the agency. There might be paparazzi there but there are a lot of friends and family members coming too, some of them even younger than Annalise.”

“Can we go?” Annalise begs her mother. “Please?”

“You don’t even like Star Wars,” Aunt Sally snorts, before sighing and letting out a quiet chuckle. “…Go on then. But you’d better make sure they don’t appear in any of tomorrow’s tabloids!”

“I promise,” I say with a smile. “If you want, I’ll even lend you each a dress to wear…” I chuckle as Nina and Annalise both gasp excitedly, though what makes me the happiest is undoubtedly the way my mother and my aunt are smiling at each other. It always baffles me why people are unable to accept having a transgendered person in their family- especially when said family is estranged in the same way I was with my aunt and my cousins. I know that sitting down and talking doesn’t always solve the world’s problems, but it never hurts to at least try, as was proven today. When faced with rational counter-arguments that she couldn’t refute, my aunt relented and made a conscious decision to try to accept me as her niece. Less than two hours later, we’re exchanging gifts and I’ve agreed to attend her daughter’s birthday party next month. It may be a bit of a stretch to call it a Christmas miracle, but it’s certainly a better outcome than I was expecting- or even hoping for- when I woke up this morning.

Hannah, Nikki and Sarah head back to their respective homes- Nikki feeling slightly chagrined that neither of the girls recognised her or Sarah, nor were they ‘needed’ to talk Aunt Sally down- whilst I and the rest of the family (including Stuart) head back to my parents’ house, where I show off my extensive clothing, shoe and cosmetic collection to my excited cousins (who get even more excited when they learn that these are just the clothes I keep here and aren’t even my main wardrobe) whilst my parents and my aunt get even better acquainted (and Stuart has to field the ‘opposite’ of the questions I answered in the café).

After dinner, I change ahead of tonight’s ‘event’, swapping my skirt and my top for a chic, short black dress with a higher-than average neckline and see-through lacy sleeves. The dress isn’t very fancy, not suitable for a premiere or an awards ceremony, but is more than okay (and more than fashionable enough) for tonight, especially with the matching platform stilettos I slip on my feet (much to Stuart’s irritation).

I smile as Nina and Annalise stride downstairs having selected dresses of their own- they’re both about an inch taller than me but are more or less the same size, so most of my clothes will fit them, especially the long-sleeved dark blue minidress (and matching tights) that Nina selects and the knee-length, short-sleeved light blue dress that Annalise chooses. Needless to say, both our mothers insist on taking several photos of the three of us before we all get into our respective cars and head to the cinema where, as predicted, there are a couple of paparazzi waiting for us. I smile tiredly and exit the car first, taking all the ‘shots’ whilst Stuart and my family slip into the small cinema unnoticed. It’s the same cinema where we held the ‘premiere’ of the Angels TV show two years ago, so it’s a place I’m familiar with, but even then, with all the press, it wasn’t quite as packed as it is now.

In addition to all the Angels, Nikki’s gang and Out of Heaven (not to mention their families) there are groups of men and women here I at best barely recognise- Laura (the transgendered girl I assisted Nikki in cheering up earlier in the year) is present, along with her friends, looking every bit a proper ‘Angel group’, especially as some of them have also brought their boyfriends. One ‘outsider’ whose face I do recognise is that of Rachel Harrison, the 28 year old flight attendant who Joshua is betting will be the star of his upcoming ‘Sky Angel’ reality TV show that’s focussed on the lives of flight attendants who work for Soixante-Trois Airlines. No doubt there’ll be other girls from that ‘series’ here as well, though I can’t see Jessica- the American T-girl I made friends with earlier in the year- here anywhere. There are several models here I recognise as being signed to Joshua, some of whom are famous in their own right, albeit not quite ‘Angel’ level. One of the girls in particular stands out, though- the athletic, dark-skinned Abbey-Gayle Simpson.

Despite only being seventeen, Abbey-Gayle is already a very talented model, and a decent singer (she even auditioned for Out of Heaven earlier in the year). Most of the Angels- and even Joshua himself- reckon she’ll be at ‘Angel’ level in a few short years, but that’s not why her presence here is making me uneasy. For the last seven months, Abbey-Gayle has been going out with Reuben Hartley, the younger brother of Keith Hartley, and a quick scan around the room confirms that both Hartley brothers are indeed present today… As is Eilish.

“Damn it,” I whisper, before turning back to face my family. “I, um, just need to go and find Charlotte, see if she got here alright, okay?”

“Sure,” mum says. “We’ll grab a drink and go and find our seats.” Fortunately, despite the crowd, it’s not too hard to find my BFF, who’s unsurprisingly sat on one of the benches on the opposite side of the room to where Keith and his ‘party’ are stood.

“Hey, Charlie,” I whisper. “You- you doing okay?”

“…I’ll be fine,” Charlotte sighs. “Like I said yesterday, I can’t hide away from it forever. And I guess they DO make a cute couple…”

“Don’t- don’t even look at them,” I whisper, giving Charlotte a gentle hug.

“Gonna be difficult, given that I gave them my tickets so they’re on the same row as me,” Charlotte moans.

“You can swap with me,” I immediately offer.

“And split you from Stuart and your family?” Charlotte asks. “Nah, I’m not doing that, especially now that you’re reconciled with your aunt and your cousins… Honestly, I’ll be fine, Keith a massive Star Wars nerd so he won’t be paying any attention to me or Eilish, heh.”

“True,” I say, before an alarm bell suddenly starts ringing in my head about what Charlotte said- and more specifically, the way she said it. “Umm, when you say ‘pay attention to you or Eilish’… You’re- you’re not sat next to Keith himself, are you?”

“Yeah,” Charlotte says. “That’s just the way the tickets are numbered.”

“We have the whole cinema to ourselves,” I retort. “We can sit wherever we want, it’s no big deal.”

“Yeah, I guess,” I chuckle, before standing up. “See you in there, Charlie…” My mind races as I manoeuvre through the crowd- we, as the ticketholders, determine where everyone sits, and if Charlotte’s sat herself next to Keith, she obviously has only one thing on her mind. Even though I believe her when she says that she’s changed, and she wouldn’t make a deliberate effort to split up Keith and Eilish, it wouldn’t be beneath her to put herself in a position such that Keith would choose to go with her instead of Eilish, and with Keith himself unsure about who he REALLY wants to be with…

“Hey Eilish,” I say to the flame-haired Irish girl, interrupting her conversation. “Have you got a second?”

“Hey Jamie,” Eilish says, clearly surprised that I would talk to her. “Jamie, I’d like you to meet Anna-Jade, she works for Soixante-Trois and is also from the greatest island in the world!”

“Hi,” I say to the also flame-haired Irish beauty. “I think we met at your launch, didn’t we?”

“We did!” Anna-Jade giggles. “It’s such a pleasure to meet you, you’ve been such an inspiration to me over the last eighteen months.”

“Umm, you’re welcome!” I say, sharing a giggle with Anna-Jade. “Sorry to be rude, I just need to Eilish in private for a second…”

“What’s up?” Eilish asks as I lead her into the ladies’ toilets.

“You and Keith…” I sigh, making Eilish groan.

“This is, like, our third date, not counting your parties,” Eilish says. “Yes, we’ve had sex, but we’re not, you know, ‘serious’ yet…” I take a deep breath before speaking- Keith entrusted me with the information that he still had feelings for Charlotte, and I was undoubtedly supposed to keep that secret, but if he’s pursuing a relationship with Eilish, then she has a right to know… And despite her deception, I DO still like Eilish…

“Keith still has feelings for Charlotte,” I say, making Eilish sigh and lower her head.

“…I thought he might,” the Irish girl moans. “I guess they did go out for ages, they lived together, they’ve got a kid together…”

“I’m sorry,” I whisper.

“No- no,” Eilish sighs. “Better I find out now rather than later on… I guess it’s up to Keith to decide who he wants. Though if he decides he wants us both… That’s also okay, I’ll tear off one of his and Charlotte can have the other!”

“Hehe!” I giggle, before giggling louder as Eilish scrunches her face up in embarrassment.

“Ah, god Jamie, sorry- I guess that must be a sensitive subject for you…” The Irish girl grimaces.

“It was, eighteen months ago,” I say with a smile. “Now? It’s like I never had ‘either’ in the first place!”

“So cool,” Eilish sighs happily as we head back into the cinema and she takes Keith to one side for a private talk, whilst I get to know Anna-Jade (and her friends, a northern girl named Natalie and a girl from the southern United States called Annabelle) a little better. A short while later, the crowd- all 120+ of us- are ushered into the cinema to find our seats. As the adverts and trailers for upcoming films start to play, I glance over to where Charlotte and Keith’s ‘party’ are sat, two rows in front of me and slightly to my right. Whilst the 6’ 2” Keith is easy enough to spot, in the gloom of the cinema (and due to the shortness of the girls), it’s hard to tell exactly on which side of him Charlotte and Eilish are sat, especially as the movie starts and the lights lower fully.

The film lasts for over two hours, and whilst it is highly entertaining (even if it isn’t exactly my ‘thing’), all throughout the film I’m distracted by Keith, Eilish and Charlotte, occasionally believing that I’m seeing glimpses of movement from the three of them, movement like a man wrapping him arm around the shoulder of a woman, just like Stuart has done for me…

At the end of the movie, as the lights go up, I look pointedly in the direction of the ‘love triangle’ to try to see if Keith is holding the hand of either of the women, but much to my annoyance, they leave the cinema long before I do, and when we get out into the concourse, they’re nowhere to be seen in the crowd. As I’m scanning the crowd looking for Keith, though, I’m interrupted when a highly-tanned (especially for December), bottle-blonde young woman literally leans into my view.

“Jamie-Lee Burke!” The young woman gasps excitedly. “Hi! I don’t know if you remember me, I’m Georgie Powell, we got a selfie last month when you came to Miss Fullerton’s class, do you remember me?” I force a smile on my face- the same smile I adopt whenever I’m dealing with an overeager fan- and prepare to respond, but before I’ve even drawn breath, the blonde girl continues speaking. “Oh my god, that movie was, like, SO boring! I mean, like, what kind of nerd would enjoy it? Someone like my stupid brother, I mean, you know, right?”

“Right,” I say hastily, trying to maintain my smile despite the girl’s over-the-top ‘airheaded’ demeanour. “Excuse me, please…” I leave the grinning girl to harass one of the other Angels as I continue my search for Keith, Charlotte or Eilish, but despite my thoroughness, there’s no sign of any of them anywhere in the cinema. Defeated, I return to my family, all of whom have wide, happy smiles on their faces.

“Well that was MUCH better than those god-awful prequels,” dad chuckles. “I particularly liked the female character, Jamie, do you know the actress who played her? She looked about your age.”

“Umm, no, don’t think I’ve met her,” I say. “Have you seen Charlotte anywhere?”

“Think I saw her leaving the cinema a couple of minutes ago,” Stuart says. “You in any rush to get away? Your cousins have been badgering me to introduce them to Becca and the rest of her band…”

“Umm… No, not really,” I say, smiling as Nina and Annalise giggle excitedly. We spend the next twenty minutes mingling, with Nina and Annalise taking selfies with anyone they even vaguely recognise, before my aunt drives my parents and my cousins to their respective places for the night, leaving myself and Stuart to make our own way home. Once I’m sat down in Stuart’s car and my seatbelt is fastened, however, I let out a long, tired sigh.

“If it makes you feel any better, I’m REALLY sore from having sat in the same seat for almost three hours,” Stuart chuckles.

“I thought you fidgeted a lot,” I giggle. “It’s not that though, it’s Charlotte… I may have made a MASSIVE mistake.”

“What happened?” Stuart asks.

“I- I may have told Eilish that Keith still has feelings for Charlotte…” I grimace.

“Keith still has feelings for Charlotte!?” Stuart exclaims, and I grimace as I realise that I’d only told Stuart that I’d talked to Keith- I never told him exactly what we talked about.

“…Yes,” I sigh. “He said he finds it hard to be friends with her as he still loves her, and as they see each other so much because of Keith junior, he’s really struggling…”

“Christ,” Stuart whispers. “Guess that explains why he was so enthusiastic about his new relationship, overcompensating for his feelings for Charlotte…”

“And now Eilish knows how Keith feels about Charlotte,” I moan.

“Maybe for Christmas I should get you a needle and thread for your mouth,” Stuart says, making me stick my tongue out at him. “Though I suppose it’s better to know the truth than fumble around blindly in the dark.”

“That’s what I was thinking,” I say. “You know Keith, he’ll pine for Charlotte for years without talking to her. Eilish herself said she’d rather know now than six months down the line when she and Keith are getting serious.”

“Very true,” Stuart says. “Have you spoken to Charlotte yet about this?”

“Not yet,” I sigh. “And I know I should have, a long time ago… We’re heading home anyway, I’ll talk to her then.” Stuart nods as we head home through the darkness of the night, and we soon arrive back at Charlotte’s vast mansion to find that none of the lights are on- and when we open the front door, it’s clear that my BFF hasn’t got home yet.

“Okay,” I say, reaching into my bag for my phone. “NOW I’m worried. She definitely wasn’t at the cinema when we left…”

“I’ll call Keith,” Stuart says. “If they were sitting together she may have told him where she was going.”

“No answer,” I say, clicking off my phone after listening to Charlotte’s voicemail message.

“Same here,” Stuart mumbles. “Rings, but just goes to voicemail. Do- do you think they’re together?”

“At this point, that’s the best case scenario,” I say, my heart beginning to beat faster with worry. “I’ll try Eilish, she might know…” I click the button on my phone to call the Irish girl, and breathe an audible sigh of relief when she answers the phones after 2 rings.

“Hi Jamie,” Eilish says. “What’s up?”

“It’s Charlotte,” I explain. “Did- did she get a lift home with you and Keith?”

“I dunno,” Eilish says. “I’m back at my flat, Krystie and Mikey gave me a lift home… Jamie, I, um, I talked to Keith, before the movie started, told him what you told me…”

“Ahh,” I grimace. “I take it he wasn’t happy I blabbed?”

“Not at first,” Eilish says. “But- I think it might just have helped. When we left the cinema… I’m pretty sure Keith and Charlotte were holding hands.” My worry suddenly turns to excitement at the news of the ‘reconciliation’, though I’m soon reminded that if Keith and Charlotte are back together- and it’s a big ‘if’- then it’ll be at the cost of another fledgling relationship.

“I- I’m sorry, Eilish,” I whisper. “I’m the one who pushed Keith back toward Charlotte…”

“Trust me, he didn’t need much pushing,” Eilish chuckles sadly. “And better it happens sooner rather than later. And hey, you never know, I might just get my job back…”

“I’ll put in a good word for you,” I giggle. “See you round, Eilish.”

“Cheers, Jamie,” The Irish girl says before ending the call.

“So… News?” Stuart asks.

“Eilish reckons she saw Keith and Charlotte go home together,” I say, bringing a big smile to my fiancé’s face.

“Well that’s great, surely?” Stuart asks.

“Hopefully,” I say. “Ugh, I- let’s just get some sleep, okay? Rest that sore ‘area’ of yours…”

“Okay,” Stuart says whilst hastily composing a text message. “Just texting Keith, asking him if he’s free tomorrow… Should get an answer ‘either way’ out of him, if you know what I mean.” I nod and smile as I take Stuart’s free hand and lead him upstairs to my bedroom, where I quickly strip off my dress and my tights and climb under the sheets. Within seconds, I’m joined by Stuart, and we’re soon cuddling each other into a deep, blissful sleep…

When I wake up the following morning, the sun has already long since risen, and given how physically and mentally exhausted I am following the previous three days, every part of me wants to lay in bed for the rest of the day, snuggled up against Stuart’s chest. However, as comfortable as I am, my worry for my BFF takes priority. After waking up the equally-exhausted Stuart, I check my phone for any new text messages, not finding any, before jumping out of bed and showering. After I’m ‘cleansed’ and Stuart has taken my place in the shower, I take the opportunity to do my weekly dilation before pressing Charlotte’s speed dial number on my phone.

“Come on, pick up,” I moan, before breathing a sigh of relief as Charlotte answers.

“Jamie?” Charlotte asks with a laugh in her voice. “Why are you calling me from upstairs?”

“Ups- you mean you’re home?” I ask.

“Yes…” Charlotte giggles. “Why, where did you think I’d be?”

“I- um, I don’t know…” I feebly retort. “Are you okay?”

“Better than okay,” Charlotte says. “Come downstairs and see for yourself!” I almost stand up, before grimacing as I remember the thick orange tube protruding from my vagina.

“I, um, I’m kinda, uh, ‘indisposed’ right now…” I mumble.

“Oh- Jamie!” Charlotte says with near-disgust in her voice. “What have I told you about calling when you’re dilating?”

“In fairness, I didn’t expect you to answer,” I retort. “I’ll be down when I can.” I smile as I click off the phone, satisfied that my BFF is home and safe, before my smile widens as Stuart steps out of the shower, his soaking-wet body firm and desirable (despite his scars), and his brand-new penis hanging loosely between his legs. As much as Stuart has undoubtedly dreamed about owning a penis, I'd be lying if I said I hadn't also dreamed about the day I could see the man I love walk out of the shower in a 'complete state'. The sight of his naked form fills me with a burning lust and I have to fight the urge to kneel down in front of him and suckle his penis until he orgasms in my mouth- but I know that I'll to wait a little longer for that dream to come true.

“Was that Charlotte?” My fiancé- oblivious as always to my lust- asks as he towel-dries his short brown hair. “She okay?”

“She’s HERE,” I say. “She must’ve got home after we did.”

“Huh, I didn’t hear her come in,” Stuart says. “Wonder how she got home… Taxi, presumably?”

“Would’ve been nice if she’d returned my call from last night,” I moan as I remove the dilator from my vagina and apply a moderate layer of make-up, before pulling on a comfortable long-sleeved grey bodysuit, a tight black jumper, a pair of warm black tights and a short, tight tartan miniskirt. Stuart, of course, dresses in a very simple pair of dark purple boxer shorts, a pair of baggy jeans and a loose knitted sweater- but he looks no less gorgeous than he did when he was wearing nothing at all.

“Well, we can ask her now,” Stuart shrugs, before taking my hand and leading me downstairs, where we hear the familiar wonderful sound of Keith junior’s laughter coming from the living room. When we enter the room, however, both Stuart and I gasp at the presence of an unexpected figure- that of Keith senior, sitting on the sofa with a smile on his face as he gently rocks his son in his arms.

“Keith!?” I exclaim.

“Mate?” Stuart asks. “What are you doing here?”

“Having quality time with my son!” Keith laughs. “What else am I doing here?” My jaw- not to mention Stuart’s- drops further when my BFF re-enters the room carrying two cups of coffee and hands one to Keith senior, before giving him a long, deep kiss and snuggling up next to him on the sofa.

“W- wait,” I say. “What year is this again?”

“2015,” Charlotte giggles. “The year we become a PROPER family again.”

“The year we START to become a proper family again,” Keith laughs as he hands his son back to Charlotte.

“So- so wait,” Stuart says. “You’re back together?”

“…Kind of,” Charlotte says.

“We’re sort-of, you know, ‘testing the waters’,” Keith says. “We both still have feelings for each other- not to mention our son- and enough time has passed…”

“And more importantly, we’re both more mature,” Charlotte says, the look in her eyes conveying just how responsible she feels for her & Keith’s first relationship breaking down. “We’re not wild teenagers anymore, next year we’ll both be 25, we’re adults, we should start acting like it.”

“Well, um, congratulations, I guess!” I say, giving Charlotte a gentle hug.

“Thanks!” Charlotte giggles.

“As we said, it’s early days yet,” Keith says. “Dunno how I’m going to break this to my parents, either…”

“How- how did Eilish take the news?” I ask.

“She was disappointed,” Keith sighs.

“Happier when I told her she could have her job back, though,” Charlotte says with a smile. “We both work, you two both work, we’ll need a childminder…”

“Well- good,” I say with a smile, slumping down on the sofa as Stuart heads into the kitchen to fetch me my morning coffee. “Between you two and my aunt, it’s been a proper string of ‘Christmas miracles’…”

“Ooh, speaking of,” Keith says, grabbing the TV remote. “It’s my boy’s first Christmas, we’ve got a whole library of Christmas TV and films to expose him to for the very first time. The Snowman, Santa Claus: The Movie, The Polar Express…”

“DEFINITELY The Polar Express!” Charlotte giggles. I smile happily as the couple- and, of course, their infant son- settle down on the sofa to watch their programmes, though a part of me feels uneasy- my BFF’s mood is prone to violent swings, and whilst Keith’s always been a ‘calming factor’ in the past, there’s no guarantee that this will be the case now. No relationship is perfect- not even mine and Stuart’s- and Charlotte and Keith have a long way to go to get back to where they were eighteen months ago. For now, however, both seems truly happy- and if my BFF’s happy, then so am I.

Half an hour into the Polar Express- which has rapidly become my favourite Christmas movie as well as Charlotte’s- my phone rings, and much to my surprise, it’s Aunt Sally’s number showing on the screen.

“Hi,” I say, trying to disguise my surprise.

“Hi Jamie,” my aunt says. “I just wanted to thank you for last night, Nina and Annalise had such a fun time… So did I, actually.”

“You’re welcome,” I giggle.

“I’m taking the girls out shopping today,” Aunt Sally continues. “We’re going to head to lunch in a bit, I was wondering if maybe, um, you wanted to join us? Just in case you’re not busy…”

“I’d love to,” I say with a smile. “See you later.”

“See you… Jamie-Lee,” Aunt Sally says as she hangs up the phone.

“We got a lunch date, then?” Stuart asks.

“Yes,” I reply, before giggling. “The Christmas miracles just keep coming and coming…”

“Well before you head out,” Charlotte interrupts, “don’t forget we have to give Eilish her ‘special present’.” I nod as I remember the special ‘treat’ Charlotte and I had bought for Eilish before the revelation about her and Keith- obviously Charlotte hadn’t attempted to return it in the last few days.

The flame-haired Irish girl arrives a short while later to re-sign her contract of employment with Charlotte, and whilst it’s clear from her face that she’s disappointed about the end of her relationship with Keith, she’s also obviously happy to once again be in our lives- especially Keith junior’s.

“Hey guys,” Eilish says awkwardly as she sits down on the sofa. “Thanks for having me back…”

“You are the best childminder in the country,” Charlotte says. “Keith junior certainly thinks so, don’t you, cutie?” Eilish laughs as Keith junior giggles happily and, as he always does, reaches for The Irishwoman’s bright hair.

“And…” I tease. “We may have got you a little something, a ‘Christmas present’, you know.” Eilish has a confused look on her face as I hand her a slim envelope, which she studies carefully.

“Open it now!” Charlotte excitedly orders.

“It’s not Christmas yet!” Eilish retorts with a giggle, before relenting under Charlotte’s expecting stare. “…Airline tickets?”

“Not just airline tickets,” Charlotte says. “First-class airline tickets with Soixante-Trois Airlines. One going from Heathrow to Dublin, the other coming back the same way.”

“We figured you deserved to spend Christmas with your family this year,” I say, blinking back tears of happiness as Eilish starts openly weeping.

“Oh my god!” The Irish girl blubs. “Thanks you, thank you so, so much!”

“As Jamie said, it’s the least you deserve,” Charlotte says, giving Eilish a tight hug. “Now go home and pack, your flight leaves tomorrow morning!”

“Thank you all so much!” Eilish blubs again, before giving me and Stuart a hug each. When she gets to Keith, however, she hesitates, wary of not offending her new employer ten minutes after restarting her job. When she sees the smile on Charlotte’s face, though, Eilish laughs with relief and gives Keith a quick, friendly hug, before giving Keith junior a kiss on the forehead and bidding all five of us farewell.

“We’d better get going too,” I sigh. “Got a lunch date with my aunt that I’m NOT dreading!” The newly-restored family all giggle as Stuart and I head out to his car, where before I’ve even had a chance to sit down, Stuart turns to me with a look of shock on his face.

“Keith and Charlotte!” Stuart exclaims. “God almighty! I mean, okay, it would probably have happened eventually, but still…”

“I know, it’s so amazing, isn’t it?” I giggle. “Especially with Keith junior, they’re like a proper family…”

“Not ‘like’,” Stuart says. “They ARE a proper family. Like Dan, Mary & Kristina-Leigh, or Emma, Lee and little Ray.”

“Yeah,” I sigh happily. As we head into the centre of London, however, I feel a familiar sad twinge in my chest- the thought of my friends and their young families is yet another reminder that no matter how ‘anatomically correct’ Stuart and I become, we will never be able to have children of our own. Sure, we could always adopt, and we’ll always be godparents to Keith junior and Kristina-Leigh, but it’s not the same- we’ll never get to experience the sheer joy you get from watching a child grow up from the very first second of its life.

As if this point needed hammering home even harder, when we arrive at our destination I immediately catch a glimpse of Aunt Sally listening intently as her two children- older than Keith junior or Kristina-Leigh, obviously, but children nonetheless- tell her about the new friends they made the previous night.

“Jamie!” Annalise yells excitedly as she sees me walk into the posh café. “Stuart! Over here!” I smile a wide smile as I approach my new family members and sit down elegantly in the chair provided.

“Hi!” I say with a giggle. “Have you had a fun morning shopping?”

“Oh my god,” Nina gushes. “London is SO amazing, you are SO lucky to live here all the time!”

“Ehh, it’s not ALL good,” Stuart laughs. “Where do you live, again?”

“Stevenage,” Aunt Sally replies.

“Which is so, SO dull compared to London,” Annalise sighs. “I am SO coming to uni here!”

“Same here, assuming my grades are good enough,” Nina laughs.

“Girls,” Aunt Sally says, calming down her daughters. “I- I need to talk to Jamie for a bit, could you go and get us some drinks, please?” With a slightly embarrassed look on their faces, the two girls slink away to the counter, leaving we three ‘grown-ups’ alone at the table.

“Your girls are so cool, even if they don’t know it yet,” I say with a warm smile.

“They’re certainly cooler than their mother,” Aunt Sally sighs. “Jamie, I- I want to apologise for the way I’ve treated you over the past few months, ever since your grandmother’s funeral... The way I acted was inexcusable.”

“Apology accepted,” I whisper, leading to an awkward silence.

“If- if you don’t mind me asking,” Stuart says awkwardly, “I’d kinda like to know why, um, you did, you know, ‘behave’… I’m estranged from my grandmother because of my transition, but she’s a hardcore bible basher. If you don’t mind me saying, you don’t strike me as being very ‘churchy’.”

“Stuart,” I whisper out of fear of offending the aunt I’ve only just reconciled with.

“No, it’s a good question,” Aunt Sally sighs. “It just- it just kinda took me by surprise, I mean, I remember you when you were just six, running around your parents’ garden, I had no idea back then that you were even remotely interested in anything feminine.” Nor did I, I think to myself. “So then you introduce yourself as Jamie-Lee and, well, you know…”

“Yeah,” I say quietly. “But I’ve been introducing myself as Jamie-Lee for almost five years… Usually the reaction I get is one of surprise, followed by them going ‘oh’ and just accepting it.”

“Oh believe me, there was surprise,” Aunt Sally laughs, before letting out a long, heavy sigh. “You have to understand… When I was born, homosexuality was still illegal in the UK, it didn’t get decriminalised until two years later, and a lot of people were very upset that it did get decriminalised, my grandparents- your mother’s mother’s parents- chief among them.”

“So… they were old-fashioned?” I ask.

“Oh, ridiculously so,” Aunt Sally sighs. “And they passed their values down to your grandmother, who passed them on to me… You know, I actually wanted to study maths at university, but my parents wouldn’t let me, saying it’s ‘not a right thing for a girl to do’.”

“Hang on,” Stuart says. “If I’ve got my dates right, that’ll have been…”

“1983,” Aunt Sally says. “As recent as that and my parents still refused to accept that men and women could be equal, or that homosexuality WASN’T an abomination. And as for transgendered people…”

“I- I don’t want to know,” I say, shuddering at the thought of my grandparents- people I always thought of as happy, cheerful people- being as bigoted as Aunt Sally describes. As I look over at Stuart, though, I realise that he doesn’t need to imagine what such a thing would be like- he’s lived through it.

“That’s why I was surprised that your parents were so accepting,” Aunt Sally says. “Because I knew that your grandparents- and most definitely your great-grandparents- wouldn’t have been. I’d not spoken to your grandmother in ages, ever since I married Donald…”

“Mum did mention that grandma didn’t exactly approve of that,” I whisper.

“Oh, you have no idea,” Aunt Sally says. “But I wanted to reconcile with her so badly, to feel closer to my mum, even after she- well, you know… And seeing you at the funeral, dressed- well, being like you are… It was almost as if you were insulting her memory.”

“I’d never dream of doing that,” I say. “But I can’t be who I’m not, and I’m not a man, not even slightly, anymore.”

“I understand, and I accept that now,” my aunt says. “We’re living in the 21st century, and there’s no place for old-fashioned values anymore.”

“Not the bad ones, the bigoted ones, anyway,” Stuart says. “Some old-fashioned values, like respect and love for family, a healthy community spirit… Those could stand to make a comeback.”

“Well said, granddad,” I say, making Stuart snort and roll his eyes.

“It was when my own daughters started arguing against me that I realised just how wrong I was,” Aunt Sally says. “I’m just grateful that you’re mature enough to forgive me, both of you.”

“You never have too many friends or family,” I say with a smile as Nina and Annalise return with our drinks. “Besides, if Nina’s going to be going to university in London, she could use a surrogate ‘big sister’, someone to show her around the city, take her on nights out, right?”

“Oh my god, that would be SO cool,” Nina gushes. “Kinda almost hope I don’t get into Oxford now…”

“Oxford!?” I ask. “What are you hoping to study?”

“Maths,” Nina laughs embarrassedly. “I know, it’s nerdy, but I’ve got a real talent for it, and it could get me a job in finance here in London…”

“A girl studying maths at university,” I say, sharing a knowing smile with my aunt. “Possibly even at Oxford… Good for you! Good. For. You!”

“Thanks,” Nina says as her cheeks start to redden with embarrassment.

“If she’s at university in London,” Stuart teases, “she might just be able to go on her cousin’s hen night as well, whenever that may be.”

“Have you two not set a date yet?” Aunt Sally asks.

“Not yet,” I sigh as I play with my engagement ring. “We were thinking sometime next year, probably late summer or early autumn.”

“From a purely selfish perspective,” Aunt Sally laughs, “’Late summer’ would be better, that way it won’t interfere with the start of Nina’s uni!”

“Well… We’ll see what we can do,” I chuckle.

“We’ve honestly done very little preparation,” Stuart says. “We’re kinda ‘second in line’, our friends are getting married in February so we kinda need to let them ‘go first’, heh.”

“Is- is that Viks and her fiancé?” Annalise asks.

“I’ll let Jon know you referred to him as ‘Viks’s fiancé’,” Stuart says, earning a playful whack from me as he makes the 14 year old girl blush with embarrassment.

“I’m sorry,” Annalise mumbles between shy giggles.

“Eh, price of celebrity, I guess,” I laugh. “When are you heading back to Stevenage?”

“We’re going to head back up now,” Aunt Sally says. “It was good to catch up, to get to know my niece... Hopefully we won’t leave it 15 years next time, heh.”

“Are you going to drop in to see mum before you go?” I ask.

“Of course,” Aunt Sally says with a proud smile. “Got to let her know how mature and intelligent her daughter is, after all!” I giggle and blink back tears as I bid my farewells to my new family, before heading back out into the cold London air. Normally, on a Wednesday morning, I’d be at the ‘all Angel’ ballet lesson (it having been moved from Mondays to accommodate the university studies of Nikki’s ‘gang), but it’s closed for the Christmas period- and to allow Krystie to move to a new, much larger dance studio, which will allow her to start teaching some of the girls (and the small handful of boys) that have been on her waiting list for months.

As I step into the new, fancy studio, I’m unsurprised to find Krystie and Mikey hard at work redecorating and polishing the hard wooden floor, though I am pleasantly surprised to see a few of Krystie’s students (some of whom I recognise as part of Laura’s ‘gang’, including the teenaged T-girl herself) helping to move costumes and equipment.

"Hey Jamie!" Krystie excitedly laughs as she skips over to me. "I won't hug, I'm covered in paint..."

"Barely!" I laugh, exchanging air kisses with Krystie regardless of her messiness. "I love the new place, can't wait to pirouette around these floors!"

"Yeah, it's gonna be great," Krystie says. "Especially when I hire a second teacher, can finally share some of the load and make even MORE money! Um, you didn't hear that about the money, okay girls?"

"Didn't hear anything," one of the girls helping out- an Indian girl in her mid-teens- replies, making Krystie giggle.

"So," Krystie says, turning back to me. "You and your so-called 'wicked' aunt seemed to be on good terms last night, dare I hope that the reunion went well? Might I even have two new pupils starting soon?"

"If you open up a school in Stevenage, maybe," I laugh. "I've just come from lunch with them, actually. Made me realise a lot."

"Such as?" Krystie asks.

"The older a person is, the harder it is to challenge their prejudices," I reply. "But the stronger a person is when they do finally challenge their prejudice."

"That's why I never assume anything about anyone," Krystie says. "To me, no one's straight, gay or bi, transgendered, cisgendered, white, black, brown, blue, green, whatever. Judge people by what they say and do, not what they quote-unquote are."

"If only the world had more Krystie Fullertons in it," I giggle. "I would stay and help, but I'm kinda wearing my best clothes..."

"Just go, I'll be fine," Krystie giggles. "I'll see you tomorrow at the present exchange. I'd better have a table full of cool stuff from you, Miss Burke. And NO calendars, please!"

"No promises!" I say, laughing as Stuart I leave Krystie and Mikey to their work.

When we arrive home, Keith, Charlotte and their baby are still in the living room, sprawled out on the sofa in the positions they've occupied ever since I met both of them almost five years ago. As much as they may claim they're 'testing the water', already it's as if they'd never been broken up. I'm almost surprised not to find an engagement ring already on Charlotte's finger, and I can tell from her occasional glances at my left hand that she badly wants one... Almost as badly as I want an infant similar to the one squirming in her lap.

The five of us- myself, Stuart, Charlotte, Keith and Keith junior- spend the rest of the day in front of the television, enjoying the opportunity to relax (and for Keith, the opportunity to do some serious bonding with his son). Keith remains at the house long after his son's been put to bed, and is still snuggled up on the sofa with Charlotte as Stuart and I put ourselves to bed just after 10pm. After we've changed into our nightwear- a loose baby doll for me and a comfortable white t-shirt and dark shorts for Stuart- I watch as my fiancé starts to climb under the sheets, dragging him back into the middle of the room before he can lay down and wrapping my arms around his neck, kissing him long and deep until I feel my body start to melt into his.

"I love you so much," I whisper. "Everything you've done for me this week, the way you've stood by me, supported me... That's going above and beyond, even for a fiancé."

"It's not going above and beyond for soul mates, though," Stuart says, returning my kiss. "Nothing, absolutely nothing is too much for you to ask for. Ever." I kiss Stuart again, another long, deep kiss that leaves my knees feeling like jelly as the two of us get into bed, and soon we are once again asleep, tightly wrapped in each other's embrace.

It's a relief to actually be able to listen to my phone's alarm go off and not have to get up as it sounds, but the beautiful sounds of a baby's laughter from downstairs soon entices myself and my fiancé out of our warm beds, into yet warmer clothing (a black turtleneck sweater and a loose knee-length skirt in my case) and downstairs to where the newly-reunited family are eating breakfast.

"Hey Jay!" Charlotte giggles, jumping up and giving me a tight hug. "Happy Christmas Eve!"

"Happy Christmas Eve!" I laugh, returning Charlotte's hug before my eyes fix on Keith senior. "So, um, did- did he-"

"Yes, I spent the night," Keith laughs. "My parents weren't exactly happy but hey, I'm an adult, and they'll cheer up tomorrow when they get to see their first grandson on his first Christmas!"

"Even if he will have been spoiled rotten already from the massive amount of gifts he gets at today's gift exchange!" Charlotte giggles as she teases the tiny baby in her arms. "You two got any plans for today?"

"A lazy day!" I laugh as I watch Charlotte and Keith play with their son. "After helping set up for the gift exchange, of course!" I force a smile on my face as I watch the new family continue to have fun, but deep down inside, the urge to be a mother is growing and growing- and as I glance back at Stuart, I can't help but see the same urge in his eyes as well.

The now-traditional gift exchange goes smoothly as usual, even despite there being more people than usual to buy for with Nikki's gang and Out of Heaven joining the 'extended family'- not to mention the extra-large tables laid on for Kristina-Leigh and Keith junior, which get filled very quickly!

Once all the guests have left and Keith junior has been put to bed, however, the most important gift exchange can begin- the one between myself, Stuart, Charlotte and Keith senior.

"Let's get the boys' presents for each other out of the way first," Charlotte chuckles. "We all know what they're going to be..." With embarrassed looks on their faces, Keith and Stuart hand two small packages to each other- the first of which contains gift cards for their favourite videogame shops, which earns a deserved cry of 'BOYS' from both myself and Charlotte! The second gift, however, makes both Stuart and Keith bounce up and down with excitement. After the reconciliation between the two men, and after it became clear that we, as an 'extended family', were going to see the new Star Wars film together, I dropped hints to both Stuart and Keith that the other might like a certain expensive toy for Christmas- an assumption that's proven correct as they both unwrap brand-new plastic lightsabers, examining them briefly before both stare at myself and Charlotte with expectant eyes.

"...Go on then," Charlotte sighs. "BOYS!" My BFF and I both giggle tiredly as the boys unpackage their lightsabers and proceed to fight each other all around the living room before Charlotte and I call them off and try to calm them down. Stuart's gift to Charlotte is next- a CD full of remixes of 'Drop Dead Red', her failed attempt at releasing a single two years ago- followed by Keith's gift for me, which is a box full of expensive chocolate truffles, one of my favourite foods.

"Obviously," I say as I hand Keith his present, "I got you this before you two got back together, but I think you'll like it anyway." I smile as the tall, dark-haired man tears off the wrapping paper, before gasping at the gift inside- a gift that also brings Charlotte to near-tears.

"It- it's amazing, thank you so much!" Keith laughs, before giving me a tight hug. The gift is a large- almost two feet by three feet- framed collage of photos of Keith junior, all of which have been arranged so that the dark parts of the pictures spell out a word- the word 'dad'.

"I'm going to have a hard time topping that one!" Charlotte laughs as she hands Stuart his present- a heavy gift that nearly makes him buckle under the weight.

"Okay..." Stuart says before tearing off the wrapping paper. "Going by the size and shape, I'm guessing vinyl..." Stuart's jaw drops and his eyes light up as he tears off the last of the wrapping paper and looks in awe at his present- a complete box set of all of the albums of the band Queen.

"Turn it over!" Charlotte laughs.

"To Stuart," my fiancé says, reading the note on the back of the box. "Keep up the good work. Best wishes... Brian May."

"I did a chat show with him a couple of months ago, asked him for a favour and he was happy to oblige," Charlotte explains, before laughing as Stuart gives her a long, tight hug just like the one Keith gave me.

"So, so awesome," Stuart laughs. "Thank you SO much."

"I guess we're next," I say as I hand my BFF her gift.

"Okay..." Charlotte says, testing the weight of the gift. "I'm guessing 'book'..."

"You're almost as bad as Stuart!" I giggle. "Open it already!" Charlotte laughs as she does so, before sighing happily at the front cover- a picture of all six of us Angels. Inside are more professionally-printed photographs of the six of us on our various nights out, parties and publicity stunts, as well as more candid images of us relaxing, gossiping and generally being the six best friends that we are.

"Perfect," Charlotte says, giving me a long, tight hug. "My gift to you seems kinda lame in comparison..."

"I'm sure it'll be perfect as well," I giggle as Charlotte hands me a small, soft package. "So then, clothes..." I unwrap the gift and stare in confusion at the garment inside- a multi-coloured, knee-length asymmetrical skirt that looks like it was made up of several different strips of fabric.

"Umm... Thanks?" I say, unsure as to the meaning of the gift. In the past, Charlotte and I have always exchanged deeply personal gifts, so I have no doubt that the skirt has some deeper meaning to it, but I don't quite know what... Until I see a strip of red fabric that looks EXACTLY like the fabric used to make my tango dress.

"Sarah's not the only one who can make clothes," Charlotte boasts. "That skirt is made up of the same fabric used to make every single one of our costumes for all of our parties, right back to the nasty grey polyester we used for your 'schoolgirl' twentieth birthday party!"

"Oh my god," I gasp. "All my happiest times- all OUR happiest times, rolled into one skirt..." I immediately rush into the kitchen and change my skirt for the 'gift' one before stepping back into the living room and getting wolf whistles from the boys, followed by a long hug from my BFF.

"Are we still giving 'boyfriend/girlfriend' presents tomorrow?" Charlotte asks.

"That is the plan," Stuart says with a smile as he lazily plays with the fabrics of my skirt. "Think we're all done now, aren't we?"

"Not quite," Charlotte says with a smug smile. "One final gift for you and Jamie... From Keith junior." Stuart looks puzzled, as do I as we unwrap the small package and sigh happily at what's inside- a photograph of the tiny boy when he was very, very young, along with his inky handprint and a note that says 'to the best godparents of all time'.

"It's the first photo ever taken of him," Charlotte says. "I think he was about nine minutes old at that point..."

"It's beautiful," I say in a voice more stoic than I had intended.

"Yes, thank you," Stuart says, also in a stoic voice that leads to an awkward silence, which is only broken by Keith junior's crying over the baby monitor.

"Speak of the little devil," Keith laughs, stopping Charlotte before she can get up. "I'll see to him."

"He might need feeding," Charlotte argues.

"WE'LL see to him, then," Keith laughs. "You guys okay for a minute?"

"Sure," Stuart says, though I can tell that he's far from okay- and nor am I. A short while later, once the baby is settled, Stuart and I bid farewell to the young family as we prepare to head back to our parents' houses for the night, but before Stuart's even had the chance to close his car door, I say what's on my mind.

"I want a baby," I announce bluntly.

"Umm... What?" Stuart says, clearly stunned by my outburst.

"I want a baby," I repeat firmly. "And so do you. Don't deny it, I've seen the way you are around Keith junior. And Kristina-Leigh. And your nephew..."

"I'm, um, just being a good godfather," Stuart stammers.

"No, it's more than that," I say. "You'd make an excellent father, and you know it."

"And you'd be a wonderful mother," Stuart sighs. "But we've got so much on, I've got my job- I'll undoubtedly be expected to produce a second album for Out of Heaven next year, when I'm not having yet more surgeries, anyway. You've got your work, you've got your uni, that charity you've been talking about setting up, plus we have the small matter of a wedding to prepare for- which we don't even have a date for yet!"

"Mary and Dan made parenthood work," I retort. "So have Keith and Charlotte, and you can't deny that."

"Plus there's the small matter of how we'd even have a baby," Stuart says. "Yes, obviously we can adopt, but it's a long process... Can we talk about this some other time, please?"

"We could," I say, "but I want to talk about it now. I want us to be a family, Stuart. You, me... And our child. OUR child."

"I want that too," Stuart whispers. "Eventually. But I'm not even a real, a complete man yet..."

"You're the kind of person who'd do anything for their child, for their family," I say. "That sounds like everything a real man should be."

"And what would it be like for our child?" Stuart asks. "We're not exactly anonymous, any child that we raise would always be known as 'the child raised by two transsexuals'. Like your aunt said, that's an attitude that's not changing quickly."

"But it IS changing," I plead. "Aunt Sally's living proof of that. Fifty years ago we'd have been treated like criminals for being who we were. Now, in 2015, we can legally adopt if we so choose. Fifty years from now, who knows what society will be like? We may even prove that if anything, transgendered people make even BETTER parents."

"August 6th," Stuart says after a brief pause. "What do you think about the sixth of August?"

"...For what?" I ask.

"For the date of our wedding," Stuart says. "It's a Saturday, far enough away from anyone's birthday, it's summer, so the weather should be good, Nina will be able to attend before starting uni, so will all our friends who are currently at uni... It gives us seven and a half months to prepare, so I should be 'done' by then. Then, once we're married and settled... We'll look into the adoption process. I promise."

"You- you mean it?" I ask.

"I never said I didn't want to be a dad," Stuart says. "But first and foremost, I want to be your husband."

"I- I love you so much," I whisper to my fiancé as he starts the car and drives me toward my childhood home.

"I love you too, Jamie," Stuart whispers.

Stuart and I spend Christmas morning with our families, before my parents and I join Stuart and his family for Christmas dinner, after which we exchange our presents to each other. My gift for Stuart is a gold tie pin, whilst he's got me an ornate brooch, both pieces of jewellery having had the initials 'JLB' and 'SRM' engraved onto them in matching script. Both of us have left extra space on the jewellery, however- space that our family believes will be filled by the date '6-8-16', but after our talk last night, I'm not sure that the space won't be filled by a third set of initials- the initials of our child.

Stuart is, of course, correct to say that any child we raise would always have the stigma of 'the child raised by two transsexuals' attached to them, but such a child would also be raised by two people who love them unconditionally, and would have four dedicated grandparents, not to mention the support of the best 'extended family' in the entire world.

As Stuart and I settle down to bed on Christmas night, back in my comfortable bed in Charlotte's house, I muse on what my life was like ten years ago, and what it'll be like in ten years’ time. Ten years ago I was an effeminate, small 14 year old boy with no direction in life, no clue who 'he' really was and no prospects for the future. Ten years from now I'll almost certainly be a millionaire in my own right, a national celebrity, a fully anatomical woman (something I already am, in fact)... And, in all likelihood, a wife and mother, all things that were unthinkable a decade ago. But most importantly, I'll be happy- something I wouldn't have been if I were still a boy.

Charlotte may have set me down the path to womanhood for purely selfish reasons, but in the end, I gained a lot from the 'switch' more than she did. And I'm not done yet, not by a long shot!