Testing Times - Chapter 29 "Songbird"

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Testing Times - A Tommy & Tamara Story  

Part
Twenty Nine

 

"Songbird"

 
Friday 22nd May (Continued)
 

Tammy held Gerry as he sobbed, his chin resting on her shoulder. Angela, Helen and Tanya meanwhile stood there uncomfortably, collectively deciding to keep quiet. Tammy was uncertain what was going on with her father and Joan downstairs but Gerry was her main concern right now.

"Gerry," she spoke softly, "what happened?"

"Jill."

"That damn woman."

"She's horrible, she was so nasty to me. She shouted at Mrs Small too."

That explained her mum's reaction.

"Come into my room."

Tammy, Gerry and Tanya went into the room. Tanya closed the door and turned the key, before stripping out her her bikini and walking into the bathroom, dropping the swimwear on the tiled floor.

"Tanya, dear, can you get me a towel?"

Tanya threw a towel out, still stark naked, then decided to use the shower.

Tammy spread the towel on her bed then told Gerry to sit down with her, they were still very close.

The pair could now hear the sound of water, Tammy tried to reassure Gerry, "she can't hear what we're saying now."

"She was naked."

"Yes, she must think you're a girl, don't stare at her though."

"She'll freak if she finds out I'm a boy."

"Never mind that, what happened at the hospital?"

"Well, I wasn't there to talk about it, but she wanted to know why I was in a pinafore, Mrs Small told her that was irrelevant but she wouldn't listen. I explained about my psoriasis - she could obviously see it - but she thought that might just be an excuse.

"When I said you had helped me, she said you must have been forcing me to be a girl against my wishes. I said to her you had nothing to do with the decision, I had chosen the pinafore with Mrs Small after deciding it was the least worst solution."

Gerry paused. "Jill was angry with Mrs Small and said you were both to blame for my confusion. I wasn't confused, not before I went in there. She finished by saying I should either accept it or leave the school, either way I was to keep away from you and Mrs Small."

"But none of this makes sense, you didn't go to see her because of this?"

"No, but she also seemed to ignore what Dr Sutherland said, the red marks on my skin, all of that."

"So, why did you go there?"

"I'm not taking my medication, I'm refusing to take any more pills."

"Why, what do you need them for? Is it the pain killers?"

"No, I took them for a few days and don't need them now I can keep out of trousers."

"So what's the issue?"

"I told you my father died?"

"Yes."

"That was two years ago, but he'd been ill for over a year before that. It was cancer."

Tammy stayed silent, she couldn't hear the shower now.

"He was diagnosed too late with cancer of the testes and it spread quickly, it was horrible seeing him get weaker until he had to go into a hospice and I was up here."

"That must have been terrible." Tammy gave him a hug, by now the front of his pinafore was quite damp.

"I was just fifteen when he died but they started doing tests on my when I was fourteen and at home for Easter. I wasn't developing properly. I had to have them removed, that was three summers ago."

"Oh." Tammy remembered Gerry's reaction when she'd said about her own orchidectomy.

"I had chemotherapy for a while, they said that was to make sure there was nothing remaining, even though the cells were pre-cancerous. I was sick, I had no enegery and I couldn't even go see my father, in case of infection; that was the worst part. I felt awful but I couldn't come back school with everyone else that September for Year 10, it was nearly October when I was well enough."

"Did they give you the all clear?"

"Yes, eventually, it was the same week my dad died." He started to sob, Tanya chose that moment to come out of the bathroom. She started to dress but Gerry wasn't aware she was even in the room until she was stood by the bedroom door.

Gerry recovered but now saw Tanya.

"Gerry, let's get you out of that dress." He turned so Tammy could unzip him, she lifted it over his head.

"Guys, I'll see you downstairs." Tanya unlocked the door and left, closing the door firmly behind her.

"Tammy, do you mind if I have a shower? I didn't get a chance this morning."

"Sure."

"I'll put my dress back on if it's dry?"

"I've bought some bits today that will fit you."

"You shouldn't."

"I was out shopping anyway."

"Mum will pay you back."

"It's a gift, go in that shower, I need one as well."

"You go first then, you're dripping!"

"Okay, have a look in those shopping bags." She pointed, unnecessarily.

Tammy heard voices in her room as she was getting into the shower but concentrated on herself for the moment, she dropped the bikini next to Tanya's and enjoyed the soak.

When she came out, wrapped in a towel, her room was deserted. She redressed in her shorts and top before heading downstairs.

Joan now had a smile on her face but Tammy's showed concern, "Mum can we talk?"

Pru was in the study so they opted for the dining room, closing the door behind them.

"Gerry's told me much of what happened, and some of the background."

"Good, Jill was just so rude, I defended you so she had a go at me! She told me I was interfering and thought I was encouraging you! I don't care if I never see her again, I don't want your or Angela going to see her either."

"No argument from me. What do we say to Lori?"

"She'll have to decide for herself, but first we'll need a referral to another shrink."

"I'm seeing Dr Adi on Tuesday morning."

"You can take Helen then, she has a ten o'clock appointment."

"I'm just before her."

"Okay, you say Gerry's told you his story?"

"About his dad dying of testicular cancer and Gerry having an orchi?"

"Yes."

"He said about chemo, but what pills is he supposed to be taking?"

"That's something he'll have to tell you himself."

"Fair enough. Are you going back to school?"

"No, and I've excused Gerry for the day. However, why is he now wearing a bra?"

Tammy laughed. "He dressed while I was in the shower and I just told him to look in the shopping bags in my room. I bought him some shorts, tops, vests and the bra. It was a just-in-case and I didn't tell him it was there, honest."

"I saw him go into Angela's room, she let him use her shower."

"So you know I had nothing to do with it?"

"Yes, but your dad's a little confused."

"Right, Angela knows he's a boy because of school, but do the others?"

"I don't think so. This is a mess."

"Where are they now?"

"In the gym, strangely enough it's a good job he is wearing a bra as he's on the running machine!"

***

Lunch followed soon after, they sat on benches outside under a gazebo.

"When did you get all this, Dad?" Tammy pointed at the gazebo.

"Earlier this week, I've been too busy to put it up. I put the furniture together whilst you were making yourself pretty - the girls helped."

"Dad, Mum...?"

"Yes, Tammy?"

"Can Tanya and Gerry stay the night? Can we have a sleepover?"

Richard looked a little concerned, Joan less so.

"The sleeping arrangements need sorting out, and I'd have to clear it with the school for Gerry. Tanya will have to call her Mum."

"Dad, wasn't Gerry going to be here tomorrow for the day?"

"Yes..., she was." Gerry looked at Richard and shrugged.

"Well, that saves going to get her tomorrow." Tammy smiled at Gerry, who clearly understood what was going on.

Richard decided some garden equipment was needed and looked for assistance from the girls but, as lunch had finished, they'd gone. Tammy saw her parents heading for the Land Rover as she guided everyone up to the sound studio.

"Wow!" Gerry was ecstatic. "Dad was a recording engineer with the BBC, he covered all the important music events before he fell ill."

"Do you know how to drive the desk?"

"Sort of, he did show me a few times."

Helen started looking around, it wasn't a large space and there was a black screen in front of the desk. She reached for a switch and pressed it before Tammy could stop her. A few lights came on, illuminating a small recording booth. An electric guitar was sitting on a stand.

"I never knew that was there!"

"You're joking Tammy? I found it months ago." Angela was looking smug.

"No, I just thought it was a mixing desk, it's connected to surround speakers downstairs. There's also a full home cinema setup next to the gym area."

"I thought that area was for the floor mats?"

"There's a sprung floor under the mats, and a projection screen in the end wall."

"Did you build the studio?"

"No, it belonged to the son of the previous owners, it must be his guitar. I guess it was forgotten when they moved out."

"I play guitar."

"I guessed you might, Gerry?"

"Mum played in a band and I picked it up, but I couldn't bring any of my guitars with me on the train. Can I have a go?"

Tanya found the door release and went into the booth, she found an acoustic guitar on a stand that wasn't visible from the control room. She tried to strum it but it wasn't in tune and it was clear she didn't have any particular skill in that area.

Gerry took the acoustic and set about tuning it. He took a seat on a stool and pulled a microphone stand over. Angela, who had spent more time in the booth than anyone, found the correct channel by a process of trial and error. There was an electric pickup on the guitar but that was turned off until Gerry found the switch.

He strummed a few chords then started playing "Let It Be".

When I find myself in times of trouble
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be
 
And in my hour of darkness
She is standing right in front of me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be
 
Let it be, let it be
Let it be, let it be
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

They all joined in with the chorus but Gerry stopped playing before the second verse. There were tears in his eyes.

"I'm sorry."

Tanya, who was still next to him, gave Gerry a hug, kissing him on the forehead.

"I can't remember the next verse. My mum's name is Mary, it just seemed so appropriate. I'll play something else."

The consensus was that he should play it again. Tanya found the lyrics using her phone and held it so Gerry could read them, Angela found the recording controls.

When I find myself in times of trouble
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be
And in my hour of darkness
She is standing right in front of me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be
 
Let it be, let it be
Let it be, let it be
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be
 
And when the broken-hearted people
Living in the world agree
There will be an answer, let it be
For though they may be parted
There is still a chance that they will see
There will be an answer, let it be
 
Let it be, let it be
Let it be, let it be
Yeah, there will be an answer, let it be
Let it be, let it be
Let it be, let it be
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be
 
Let it be, let it be
Ah, let it be, yeah, let it be
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be
 
And when the night is cloudy
There is still a light that shines on me
Shine on until tomorrow, let it be
I wake up to the sound of music,
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be
 
Let it be, let it be
Let it be, yeah, let it be
Oh, there will be an answer, let it be
Let it be, let it be
Let it be, yeah, let it be
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

The only sound when he finished was Tanya sobbing, amplified by the microphone next to her. Angela had stopped the recording and muted the mic temporarily. Gerry put the guitar on the stand and walked to the doorway of the sound booth.

"Does anyone have a tissue?"

***

After a few minutes break Gerry played a couple of early David Bowie numbers and seemed to know most of the words. Next they each took turns in the booth, Helen could manage a few chords so accompanied Gerry in a rendition of Shania Twain's "Man I Feel Like A Woman", Tammy had brought her tablet out so the lyrics could be a bit bigger, propping the tablet on a music stand. They needed a way to display lyrics in the booth, Tammy thought.

Two really was the limit in the booth, but everyone had a go. Angela then found a collection of karaoke tracks that could be played in the sound booth through monitors.

Julie brought them cool drinks close to four but refused to take them up to the studio.

"No, they stay down here!" A patio table and half a dozen fold up chairs were now on the floor where the practice mats had been.

Richard and Joan returned while they were sipping their drinks, Tammy was a little confused when two of Elsie's groundsmen arrived in the paddock, they walked over to the Land Rover and opened the back.

A large grill was unloaded and manoeuvred onto hard-standing by the gazebo. A gas bottle followed, which Richard connected up. Joan started to unload bags of food but the men took over, carrying it into the kitchen.

It looked like they were about to have their first barbecue of the season but the four girls, plus Gerry, kept out of the way. Angela operated the controls for the screen and Gerry found four mic inputs set into the floor of the gym next to power points. They had seen microphones and long leads in a storage bin so plugged these in while Tammy found the lyrics for "Babooshka" on her tablet as this was the next karaoke track according to a little display above the mixing desk.

As Angela hit 'play' the lyrics now flowed across the screen which was playing video of Kate Bush singing to her track. The karaoke session became very serious now.

Tanya and Gerry both needed the toilet so walked over to the house together, Tanya deciding she needed to find out more - quietly. Tammy was following, at a distance.

"Jeri, what would you be doing at the moment on a Friday?"

"I should be in school, but sod 'em today."

"Which school?"

"Erm, St Andrews."

"Oh, you're a boy?"

"Sorry, I didn't tell you earlier, I thought you might freak."

"It's too late now to worry about it. When did you, um, know you should have been a girl?"

"About an hour ago."

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Comments

explains the subtitle

enb4448's picture

the orchiectomy also explains the breast growth. Rather rapid decision that he's a girl though. really enjoying the story.

*THUNK*

Alecia Snowfall's picture

"about an hour ago."

"ACK." Tanya squawked then fainted.
*THUNK*
I do believe its time to 'smack the Jill' now. very touching chapter Shiraz!

quidquid sum ego, et omnia mea semper; Ego me.
alecia Snowfall

hmm...you caught us!

Shiraz, you really caught us. We missed the clue and went with the obvious but it was only part of why they were crying. Well played, well played!

Jill is a terrible doctor to ignore the blatantly obvious in favor of attacking someone who is innocent. I hope their new psychiatrist reports her for what she did, she should lose her job if not her right to practice medicine for it!

And to be honest, Jill has been open in not knowing much about gender issues. While they may be seeing the gender specialist Jill has made it obvious she has a problem with Tammy so Tammy should have changed from Jill to someone else months ago. Convenience is not always best when it comes to medical care.

You made mention of Gerry visiting Jill before but we all missed that bit of information...I am now beginning to suspect that maybe Harry Davidson is not as he appears either. Unless the apple fell far from the tree he could be the mysterious person working against the group behind the scenes at the school that was mentioned a few editions ago. Perhaps he is as two-faced as his daughter, acting like he wants to help while in the presence of stronger wills like Elsie and Mr. Smart but not among people whom he can manipulate.

And Gerry decided to be Jeri? The boy seems to have done things without realizing it(stopping medicine, grabbing sister's clothes) but once he saw the girls enjoying themselves and he himself enjoyed himself it subconsciously clicked and he admitted to himself he is really a she deep down. Maybe it took friendship and compassion, but it is good that Jeri can have peace of mind.

I'm told STFU more times in a day than most people get told in a lifetime

Thank you Shiraz,

There is only one thing I can say--------"Let it be,let it be "!!

ALISON

Garry's true self

It look like Garry is like Tammy and had been for like three years. It's just now showing and it scares him.

Wolf_0.jpg

No "T" for you, m'boy

Podracer's picture

Ah, either that or mood controlling stuff, I'm guessing. Hey, the Jill might even have triggered the road to this girl epiphany herself, how ironic would that be? Either way, if it is a genuine realisation or not for Gerry, at least the child is amongst friends.

"Reach for the sun."

replay No "T" for you m'boy

If the good or should I say bad Dr. is to blame for this change in Garry and Tammy is getting her feelings hurt by that same Dr. That means Dr. Jill is no use to the family so to say. That's also means Tammy's friends.

Wolf_0.jpg

A Totally Useless Shrink

joannebarbarella's picture

Psychiatrists are supposed to put their patients at ease in order to get them to open up about their problems, not bully them. How Jill has lasted as a psychiatrist is incomprehensible. She should certainly be struck off, and now that she has upset Joan I dare say that Richard will have something to say about it.

Could Jerry's pills have been blockers? Either that or testosterone to make up for what his own body was no longer producing. Still, that doesn't quite gel with the fact that he was developing breasts. The fact that he no longer had testes could also have had a profound effect on his mental state, leading to the confusion he was feeling until he had an epiphany in the home theatre.

I Don't Think Jill's a Psychiatrist

Here's how Jill described herself to Tammy in Book 1 ("Tamara's Debut"):"No, I'm not a shrink, a consultant psychologist with a sideline in psychiatry.". I'm not sure how Jill's reference of a sideline in psychiatry fits as (at least in the US) psychiatrists are medical doctors and can prescribe drugs. Psychologists are not medical doctors. I don't recall Jill prescribing drugs or other medicines in any of the series. Whatever Jill's qualifications are, joannebarbarella's comments regarding Jill's conduct are appropriate.

"About an hour ago."

Hypatia Littlewings's picture

I hope it is not that, "he" is simply just going with the flow. Just like being born with the wrong parts doesn't mean you can't be a girl, loosing certain parts does not mean you have to be one either. Then again some people could be either. I hope that Gerry makes the right choice for Gerry, whatever that choice is.

>i< ..:::

I thought Jill

was unprofessional from square one. I have had a taste of medical professionals who thought they were gatekeepers, It can be quite unpleasant.

I've always felt if a person thought they were trans they probably were.

Board of education

Jamie Lee's picture

Gerry's dad died from testicular cancer, and he was predisposed to the same. As a precaution his testicles were removed and he underwent radiation treatments.

Now unless his medical records were destroyed, lost, or shot to the moon, the procedures he underwent would be written in doctorez for other doctors to read, along with any prescribed medication.

If Jill is a medical doctor than she had to have read his file to check his medical history. She should have also found out about the bouts of psoriasis as well. So her denying Gerry's reason for the clothing he was wearing was so far over the line that he and Joan should have left immediately. Their next move should be to have reported Jill to the appropriate medical board, and find another psychiatrist. Still one question remained unanswered, who decided Gerry needed psychiatrist? Who didn't like to see Gerry in girls clothing? Who didn't have the guts to ask Gerry the reason before making him see Jill?

One item is crystal clear, Jill has just lost several patients because of her bigoted actions.

Others have feelings too.