Jem...Chapter 164

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Jem...Chapter 164

*Before…

Utterly unplanned...a whole bunch of work and more work.
Ace’s went off great.
Dad and I had a good heart to heart.
Then this, which was as cool as it was work.
There’s also hitting me with this really great feeling as it’s dark and Rayne’s driving and we’re just sort of cruising home with our partially done stage faces on and I see my face in the dark glass reflection and can’t help but to smile at myself.

*And Now…

I can’t help but to sigh in relief as we pull in from the job and the McDonalds thing. It’s nice to be home and it’s more than nice to be done for the night and for a work night we’re actually done early.

Done early...there’s such a nice feel to that really and I think that it’s actually catching with the girls because everyone is happy to be home and there’s a lot of excited talking and stuff going on while we’re unpacking from the new song to the kids being pretty cool with us at McDonalds and into actually sort of learning.

Brooklyn’s smiling as she’s carrying her guitar in. “It’’s really weird being kinda sorta a role model though. I mean I get it, I really get it. I mean it wasn’t that long ago that for me I would have freaked out to have an all girl band doing real stuff in town. We really don’t have or we really didn’t have people doing stuff like that for kids like me to look to.”

I grin at her. “So how’s it feel to be a role-model?”

“Weird, I’m me and I really don’t think that I’m qualified to be anything like that honestly.”

She looks at me. “And you, looks like you have another old dude eating out of your hand.”

I shake my head. “Mr. Turner and I just came to an understanding with things and with a little bit of nudging I got him out of his comfort zone.”

Kimmie pipes in. “Nopes he was drooling, he was looking at you a whole lot Angel.”

“Guys…..no...eeew.”

They’re laughing and Molly’s making faces. “I don’t see what’s so funny the guy was watching and perving on Angel he’s a grown man and she’s a teenager. It’s super shitty to reduce her from being as impressive as she is to just some frigging T and A.”

I hold up my hands. “Okay, yeah that kind of stuff is crappy and it’s eeew and guys do it all the time, it’s not right but they do and they do worse. I’m not going to let him just looking get to me and let him live in my head rent free. But I’m also not going to let it wreck a good working relationship in where he’ll actually like learn something.”

Rayne nods. “Besides if we let it get to us then none of us would ever go outside.”

“And…….” Kimmie says. “Everybody looks. And there’s like just as bad a thing with girls being into older guys and that’s just as messed up.”

I take my shoes off and sigh while wriggling my toes in the carpet. “Well looking isn’t like leering and drooling and he didn’t actually do anything. I’m not going to be a person that sees bad everywhere. Besides I think I freaked him out in just what girls can do.”

Dad and Uncle Mitch are chuckling. “Yeah he did have that look now and then that I’ve seen Mr. Walker and Jake have when working with you. You have an effect on people.”

And that has me smiling though mostly blushing.

We get to putting things away and then I’m hugging and saying goodbye to Dad and he’s smiling as he gives me a big squeeze, “Good talk kiddo.”

“Yeah good talk Dad, I feel better about stuff.”

“I love you, I just wanted to be sure and you to be sure.”

“I am Dad, seriously despite the way this all sort of fell together it’s broke me free of the sort of endless circling I was doing, I kinda like the feeling of finally having a direction.”

He smiles at me, “Forward momentum eh.”

I hug him again. “Yep, that might even be a song title too.”

He chuckles and I let go of him and Rayne and the girls hug him and I hug Uncle Mitch and the guys before they go and then…

We’re done and really early for us so...Rayne takes my hand. “Shower, then we do whatever.”

I let her pull me along to pour rooms as Mike and Molly are going between setting things up and going to the kitchen and Carmen is downstairs putting the costumes to rest and getting her things away and Kimmie’s on the phone which means Max and Brooklyn is tending to her guitar and helped set stuff up for our online stuff.

We stop off at our room and get our showery things and clothes for after and we take a good hot shower together.

Yes...naked...I wash there myself and there’s a definite...I don’t hate it but it’s frigging in the way of my life. I’m getting less and less cool with it being down there. I’m not sure if that’s real dysphoria or not.

But on the plus side when I’m doing...there...Rayne’s washing my back and that’s freaking heavenly.

And not just my back but there’s this part where she uses the puff to like gather all this hot water and it’s full of suds and then she’s like literally drenching my shoulders with this burst of like hot water right in that sort of place around your collarbone.

Y’know that massage place.

And that’s the beauty of double showering, yeah it’s not roomy but you get your back washed where you can’t reach it without a scrub brush and then there’s washing your hair.

I’m a sucker for having my head massaged, hot soapy water then a rinse just feels like I’m washing stress out of my hair.

Of course I return the favor and Rayne digs all of this as much as I do and then we’re out and toweling off, lotions and stuff that we use and towel up our hair after we’re dressed in our baggy comfy clothes.

Well as comfortable as I’m going to get in double underpants to hide that. I’m going braless too which feels amazing actually. My hoody is well worn and really, really soft so that helps with the tenderness I’m starting to get which is normal from what I’ve been reading plus it’s sort of yay semi sensual in a way too. Plus when I put it on I have little starters than are giving me actual noticeable small bumps. I’m somewhere between nothing and Kimmie but it’s definitely something and they’re definitely standing out on me because i’m so skinny.

Like a lot of being trans feelings it’s a little good with a bunch of bad but somehow the good kinda makes up for it all.

And…

I’m really digging the way that Rayne’s looking at me and yeppers looking at my little chest in this sort of sexy yay boobies thing.

I’m even pretty good about my nipples getting hard from the feel of the fabric.

Achey but more, like in this really good me way.

Mike’s bringing out hot chocolates for everyone and he does make seriously good hot chocolate and it’s sort of a coco mutant thing really with him making coco on the stove which really is just cocoa and sugar and water but he gets it to a good boil then he adds a can of Carnation canned milk but he has this thing where he has another pot and pours it in between the two.

Apparently it mixes air into the hot chocolate and creams it up and it’s like something his dad picked up being a mountie up north in the old days.

He goes heavy on the coco too so like it’s got this darker chocolate deal and we all smile as we get some and we sit down and go through our online stuff, talk to our fans and do commentary for like a while and watch some of our stuff and watch some of the stuff we have sent to us by fans.

We’re getting fan videos now more and more and there’s lots to comment on and lots to say good things about. Even when we’re offering advice there’s us saying stuff like how cool what their doing is and offering hints phrased like. “I think you’d totes rock out that look if you did this…”

No net meanie bull...seriously there’s people getting tore down enough in life so we really try and not leave hard styled comments and we try to boost them as much as we can and stuff that’s just cool we reblog or share.

Then there’s a whole bunch of positive feedback on our pages and Ace’s page from the comic gig. And it’s really cool that I see some parents saying how surprised they were at Ace’s having and carrying age leveled stuff for their kids and then there’s a good number of geekette girls going on about finally having some representation around here locally and not having to literally drive of do a serious trip into Toronto.

It’s a definite space issue...the girls really don’t really have geek space, the few times they do go to comic places in where they’re from it’s not just full of guys which can be intimidating but it’s usually full of guys that think that geekdom is a one way street and that them going to the shops is like an open invitation to like offer up a critique of what they’re reading, collecting or buying.

It actually gets pretty heated at one point and there’s some guys weighing in with some serious fake nerd girl crapola and Ace actually defends the girls and that he’s seen some pretty misogynist stuff said when it’s just the guys in his shop.

Molly is hell on wheels in the comments and she’s typing like a mad person and putting up even links of guys being really bad in the geek community….links and memes and full on sugared up internet warrioress.

I type and ask Ace. “How about a ladies night?”

“Ladies night?”

“Yes like at bars or clubs, not like to discriminate but just a certain night of the week that is really set aside for the women, a sort of geekette space night.”

We actually bat it about for a bit with a bunch of people and it gets a lot of interest even from a few of the moms who’d love to take their budding little geekettes to a place where it’s other girls there and not so intimidating.

He actually agrees to try it out and says he’ll open for girls on Sundays since more people and parents will be free to come and then things get heated in a better way with him asking what would be things that they’d like to see going on or featured in the shop and even his girlfriend says she’ll be there to work cash.

It’s getting great comment buzz and Molly’s smiling and she even PM’s him saying she’d do a bunch of graphics pages for this for free if he was serious. He says he’s totally serious and that he’d still pay her but it’d be really cool if she’d come over sometimes because she’s very good at Magic Cards and it’d be cool if there could be more girls playing like they were today.

It’s turning into a very much whole thing and I make a few more comments and kiss Rayne. “I’m going to bed babe.”

She kisses me back and nods. “Moi aussi, I have work tomorrow too so let’s.”
I kiss her back. “Mmm...let’s.”

We head upstairs and to bed with her setting her alarm and I change to just my panties and she kisses me. “You don’t have to wear both pairs hon.”

I kiss her back. “Yeah, I kinda do, I just feel better everything snug and in place.”

She nods and we kiss as she pulls me into bed with her and I turn off the lights and we snuggle together in bed with her pressed into my back and her arms holding me.

We’re not doing the sex thing tonight but she’s making love to me in other ways.

Having someone for me...actually being held.

Feeling safe.

Safe, really that’s still such a thing that I’m still getting used to. It’s like I can feel that bullied me on edge deep down inside still not quite believing the miracle that’s happening and it’s almost like I’m huddled deep down there until Rayne and all of this sort of seeps in enough to me.

I love and hate it, love it because I hit that point and I can unwind and hate it because unwinding sometimes comes with tears.

She’s holding me as it wells up this PTSD sort of aftershock and i’m shaking and she dips her head to my collarbone and nuzzles me, kisses my shoulder and hugs me tighter.

“I have you...it’s okay Angele, I have you.”

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Comments

FIRSTIE!!!!!!

Alecia Snowfall's picture

First Kudo, First Comment! yay! The girls are really showing a positive force now. Are they ready to take over the town and make it an actual nice place for all? Hot Cocoa sweet!

quidquid sum ego, et omnia mea semper; Ego me.
alecia Snowfall

town take over

Alecia Snowfall's picture

town take over; one impromptu gig at a time!

quidquid sum ego, et omnia mea semper; Ego me.
alecia Snowfall

it's the dream of every rock

it's the dream of every rock and roller to change the world and those girls certainly are doing just that!

I'm told STFU more times in a day than most people get told in a lifetime

Social media and trending things is a good thing for that.

Bands get themselves out faster and can get bits of a once really closed market by the big names. Companies love to get attached to media events and to do good. Now the comic shop thing is pretty real too since most small town ones that are still going are pretty much guy zones and you only really get parody in either bigger places or ones with like a draw for a more diverse crowd like a university town. And these guy zoned comic shops are pretty intimidating for girls who kinda a lot of the time get shamed from nerdy loves they have.

*Great Big Hugs*

Bailey Summers

Angel really wants things to change for lots of folks.

Given the setting and the Ontario economy especially in small towns there's stuff gone by the wayside. And tourist money and especially having local stuff as a draw's a big deal. I can remember when there were pretty decent things to go to like bands playing good gigs locally. Lots of that's gone now for the current kids.

*Great Big Hugs*

Bailey Summers

“I have you...it’s okay Angele, I have you.”

Podracer's picture

Somewhere in our mish-mash of genetic material is an imperative to find that other. Whatever we feel we need to present to the world, we're bred to partner another soul. It can be hard to find it. Better that than try to deny it.

"Reach for the sun."

Yeppers Podracer:)

Going it alone is hard, too many of us do just that unfortunately.
*Great Big Hugs*

Bailey Summers

Totally Dorothy :P

It's coming into being a bigger part of Angel not being alone, and not just with the girls but closer than that. Deeper than that.

*Great Big Angel Hugs*

Bailey Summers

Couldn't Wait

Sat in the grocery store parking lot and red the chapter IMMEDIATELY!

Thanks for the story,
Larimus

Snowballing

As Angle continues gathering people, of a variety of talents, around her, the momentum the entire effort has is increasing like a cartoon snow ball rolling down the slope. This is not Willy nilly random event, but really a well organized effortlessly orchestrated series of conscious decision making all of the efforts and hard work continue in along a very positive path. Don't tell these people they can't do something, or they will do it, with style.

Still a great story from the beginning till now , thank you for the enjoyment I get whenever I read it.

Huggles

Misha Nova

With those with open eyes the world reads like a book

celtgirl_0.gif

Yeppers, People like good changes.

Then there's change with momentum.
People like doing things especially when they're easier.
People like being part of things from good live shows to impromptu charity deals.
*Great Big Hugs*

Bailey Summers

girls night

sounds good, I hope it catches on. good chapter, thanks

“Forward momentum eh”

koala's picture

Hmm - quote from Lois McMaster Bujold's Miles Naismith (with a Canadian accent)?
[only spotted this on the third occasion of reading 'Jem' end-to-end]

Koala

Inside every older person is a young person wondering what the heck happened.