Bikini Beach: Might Have Beens

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Bikini Beach: Might Have Beens

Story By Ib12us

What would you do if you felt like a burden to your family? What if you don't remember what happened after visiting Bikini Beach? Another perspective.

This story is copyright by the author. It is protected by licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.



~o~O~o~


 

Bikini Beach: Might Have Beens

 

     Water spewed over the rim of boiling eggs sending splatters of scalding water over a steaming pot to evaporate on the hot stove leaving a white residue. A burnt odor filled the air as Dale Roberts waited nearby his eyes unfocused, vacant, apparently lost in thought. Index fingers twitched involuntarily even when he'd been jarred from his reverie when drops of hot liquid splashed unceremoniously onto his hand causing him to utter under his breath. Skin along the back of his hand turned a deep red from the contact.

     "Damn." Dale cursed moving a shriveled hand away before lowering the temperature on the electric stove. Carefully he shoved the offending pot over to a cooler side allowing the water to settle its relentless splattering actions.

     "Dad is something wrong?" came a woman's cry from another room, a voice conveyed with worry and concern when he'd given his sudden outburst.

     Carefully Dale examined his weather born hand. "It's nothing, just burned myself a bit."

     Stepping into the small kitchen, a middle aged woman approached. "Dad I would have fixed that for you."

     "I'm not some invalid." 'Not yet anyway' Dale thought trying to brush past his daughter.

     Stepping in front effectively blocking his path, "Let me see." Helen demanded gently, yet gingerly taking hold of her father's hand before he could protest. Carefully she examined the irritated skin ignoring both his look and complaints on how his hand shook as she examined the burn. "It's not too bad. You need to be more careful."

     Stemming off the conversation of late, "I am, I was just thinking, lost in thought. Can't a man think about something without others jumping to conclusions?"

     Begrudgingly he had to admit how he'd become more inattentive to his own surroundings. Forgetful in some menial task. Once he left the kitchen leaving the coffee pot on late in the day, only to be woken later in the night with the irritating sound of a beeping smoke detector having gone off leaving the kitchen, as with other parts of his meager apartment, smelling. Burnt coffee perforated the room for days from where a hard residue of black ooze formed in a smoldering glass pot. Twice before he needed to replace the pot due to his carelessness.

     Heading his way past her towards the bathroom Dale felt remorse in how his daughter had taken it upon herself to oversee some of the responsibilities around his small apartment. Having sold the family home years before after the passing of his wife, God bless her soul, his two other kids moved away leaving her with the burden to care for his needs. The memories and management of living in such a large home had been too much for him to care for and with great reluctance he begrudgingly settled for something smaller, more manageable and convenient.

     It was with Helen's insistence he live nearby, concerned for him when he'd taken his first stumble while packing to move from what he considered his and hers retirement home after some thirty odd years.

     It had started so innocently, that stumble, only later to have him develop into 'the shakes' and at his daughters insistence he reluctantly agreed to see a doctor. He'd dealt with them for years and learned to compensate for the unwanted jitters. Several visits and a mandatory return confirmed what he, himself had suspected. The beginning stages of Parkinson's, hence the uncontrollable tremors his hand would display when extended. That had been years ago. Now in his mid-sixties his movements had become slower, jerky as he moved about. He would waver slightly as he made his way around now and grudgingly reached for his cane to help steady himself. Nothing could help with the sudden twitches that came upon his body, or the jarring of his head as a building of nerves set in. He only had a moments warning with the sudden buildup inside, no matter where he was. Many stared as he suddenly went on a false epileptic seizure with the sudden convulsions as if his body was possessed. Soon after he became the recluse not willing to venture out.

     Hovering nearby his daughter watched, keeping her distance, knowing how it irritated him to have someone hover over him. Instinctively she loved her Dad and in her youth marveled at how he'd been so energetic, chasing after her with another sister and brother in tow. How he'd roughhouse with them till he became more akin to his daughters physical changes, mindful of such rough play, even taking to berate her older brother when he found them roughhousing. Now to see him in such a state saddened her.

     Reaching for her phone Helen pressed onto a familiar number when she was sure he was out of hearing range.

     "Hey honey. I'll be leaving soon. Yes he made the appointment." She looked around her dad's small apartment, especially towards the stack of accumulated mail one of the end tables left unopened. Her voice conveyed her worry as she spoke to her husband, Craig.

     "No I don't think he sees any of the changes, only that he seems to phase out more and more. I'm just going to stay another hour or so to make sure he's fine then I'll be home." Helen tried to sound cheerful as she ended the call without a second thought, "Love you to."

     Relaxing on the couch Helen flipped through several channels finally setting on one of the local stations slightly interested as a commercial aired. The advertisement showed of young woman frolicking in a wave pool as in the water while later elderly women in sync exercised to water aerobics with the beat of some of the latest tunes. The instructors seemingly fit and energetic as they led the women through a series of routines. Strange she thought in how she didn't see any men or boys even though it advertised itself as a family park.

     "Dad? What would you think if we took a day and got you outdoors? The fresh air would do you some good." She heard the humph of his voice as she looked up the parks location.

     "And what type of park is it? Some overpriced place where they take your money and give you nothing in return? Skinny girls running most likely, each trying to entice you to buy something as they hustle you with those skimpy uniforms of theirs showing off more skin than they should, parading around in hardly anything."

     She heard the terse voice only to see him waiting in the hallway giving her a small grin. He was teasing her with that gruff attitude of his again. "As if you wouldn't mind watching them I'm sure."

     "Well from what I caught in the advertisement it did look nice." Commenting from the hallway having bandaged up his hand. "And they do have an evening aerobics class."

     "Just like the doctor ordered."

     His grin grew a little larger. "Trying to pawn me off on some younger woman are we?"

     "Only if it'll get you out more." Helen jokingly replied, "Come on it'll be fun. You've been cooped up here too long. And I'm sure it'll help with the stiffness. You heard what the doctor said, you need to keep mobile, exercise as best you can."

     "Don't you think Craig will be upset? Me taking more of your time?"

     "He'll be fine Dad. You know he understands."

     "Humph," having left to place a jar of Vaseline back in the cabinet. Calling back to her, his interest swayed. "Yeah, I guess you're right. How far is it?"

     "It's none too far. And I'm sure you'll enjoy it," having googled its location on her phone, glad her dad wasn't protesting too much.

     "I didn't catch its name."

     "It's a water resort not too far called Bikini Beach."

     "I seem to recall it years ago. It was a place if I remember just for women."

     "Well times have changed."

***********

     With having reached its highest point of the day, the air grew slightly cooler where a large cloud of jagged white had taken to overshadow the sun, shielding those below from its rays of warmth. Slow tentacles of fluff white briefly turned golden then dark as the cloud made its way across the suns face in its leisurely pathway. Below those dips of light, brief shivers passed over bare skinned women basking in its warmth to then be teased when one thin cloud moved by to be replaced by another. Ultimately with the arrival of a larger cloud, shivers ran deep over people denied the sun's rays of warmth. To those outside the park its darkened path momentarily gave respite for those crossing across a heated asphalt ridden parking.

     Mopping his brow with a handkerchief Dale could tell the place was bustling with young woman traveling towards the front, hips swaying to and fro, wiggling in skimpy shorts as short tees took to enticing onlookers with their owners endowments.

     "There's not that many boys," replacing the cloth back in his pocket as both made their way towards the ticket booth ahead.

     Watching he couldn't help notice the concerned looks a few of the men, whom he considered boys, held while others didn't seem to have a care. With his slow gait, he took in the exterior of the park's surrounding entrance as they moved in a slow shuffled walk.

     Parts of the park had been fenced off from what he could see, by some flimsy bright orange construction workers rubber fence. Heavy equipment continued to move nearby over a large fenced off area. More work taking place inside which blocked his view. With a park of such immensity he was sure the owners would have wanted to display more of the available attractions, enticing those who drove past along the stretch of highway nearby. From what he could see the wall extended itself well high above the ground stretching its way all around. He had to have estimated it to be at least 20-25 feet tall.

     'Must be doing better business than I would expect especially if it's expanding.' Dale thought. "Place must be expensive."

     "More expensive than Disney World dad?" Helen asked giving a soft chuckle recalling how all her dad did was complain about the high prices, but still bought the usual ears and such for the family. How long had it been? she wondered herself. All those years now gone with just her and her husband. She looked longingly at the young kids being led by their parents.

     Walking more slower than the other patrons who had made their way across the parking lot, Dale felt as if eyes were taking to stare at him. An aversion he'd developed along with the disease causing him to barely leave the sanctum of his home.

     Once out in the open he carried a scowl in having to endure the stares as well as listen to a few unkind comments made his way as they worked their way across a crowded parking lot of cars.

     Dale tried to put it out of his mind, they weren't really talking about him, not wanting his daughter to see how it bothered him, not wanting to admit how it distress him how he took to being a burden to his family. Out of nowhere a number of youngsters ran past him, one giving him a slight tap to the side as they moved past, laughing. One stopped briefly in concern as she took to staring at him causing him to pause before hurrying on her way back to her friends. Youth he though, how it seemed wasted on them it was said. Only now he'd wished he'd had some of it back. To be rid of this disease as he and his daughter ambled towards the entrance.

     Pausing momentarily he inhaled deeply for breath. "You doing okay Dad."

     "I'm fine. Not like I was before. Getting to old for this." Not fooled, Helen knew he was attempting to play it off, how he'd nearly came to stumble on a few occasion as they walked even this short a distance. Patiently she waited, unable in having found a parking spot closer as they circled around the parking lot several times. She knew it had to be tiresome. The disease hadn't robbed him of his walking, only making him take things slower. In hindsight she should have dropped him off near the front, to have him wait as she continued the search.

     After what seemed an eternity the couple arrived taking their place like the others only to have Dale's cane begin to wobble as the pair waited, moving uncontrollable in his hand as it shook. "Dad why don't you wait on the bench while I buy the tickets?"

     "Yeah sure." Dale muttered under his breath. His humiliation grew as he shuffled towards one of the nearby benches lowering himself slowly as he hated how others perceived him with his condition. The meds he was forced to take worked to a smaller degree now. Even then there were times when nothing seemed to help, his shakes seemed to appear at the most impromptu time. Once more he saw them, the same youngsters, young teens really, talking before one then another took to entering a side entrance, its sign saying members only. His arm took to moving uncontrollably. Listening he heard where mothers hushed either their son or daughter once they caught sight of it, staring at him. Sitting he finally had enough jamming his hand inside the pants pocket to alleviate the unwanted movement.

     Looking at the youngsters waiting, he ruminated of his own youth. Of once not having a care in the world like them, except on how to spend a day having fun. Of his daredevil antics to break the boredom, taking unnecessary risks or challenges presented to him from his friends and come out triumphant to their utter amazement.

     That had been after he had somehow survived his earlier youthful days. The trying years of where he'd come to test his survivability through a period of endless accidents. It didn't matter what he was doing, some strange mishap would befall him. Many times his parents would make the necessary trip to the local hospital, to have doctors stitch him back up or mend a broken bone.

     And many a time a doctor would come up to him and wait for the explanation as a few knew of him by name amusing the nurses and staff in his latest mishap. One had even suggested he spend the night whereas another questioned the parents endlessly in his accidents. He was just going through a phase in his life it seemed and his so called friends would later put him that phase to the test wanting to see what new accident would befall him. Claiming that it was a lark when they succeeded. Now it all seemed his youth came back to haunt him.

     None in his family history had the shakes. The disease. Just him, and many of the doctors believed it was due to his earlier days having noted the one focal point that concerned the doctors the most. The one area that seemed to take the most abuse. His skull. His scalp was riddled with scars from where doctors had sutured the breaks. Soon his mother had learned to remove those stitches herself, thus saving the family a needless trip of sitting for hours in the emergency room waiting as with the added expense of having them removed.

     "Dad?"

     "Huh, wha!" Startled Dale looked up. He failed to notice the soft touch on his shoulder, the concerned look in her eyes when Helen took to sit next to him. Once more it seemed he had spaced out.

     "I said I have the tickets. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea." Dale heard the uncertainty "Perhaps we should postpone this, come back at some other time. The sales lady said I could get a refund or use it for some other day if you're not up to it."

     Rising slowly, Dale shifted his weight onto his cane not wanting to waste the trip. Helen had even been in a cheerful mood in wanting to relax.

     "Humph. We're here now. No, you're right. I do need to get out more. Give me a chance to rest in the sun. Quit being that hermit I'm turning myself into." Not wanting to disappoint her, she'd been caring for him far too long as she put her own home life over him. He even admitted once outdoors he did enjoy it.

     The frown gave way to a smile on his daughters face. "You'll enjoy it Dad. I overheard a few say there's a small heated spa pool. We can just enjoy ourselves."

     Waggling a finger, "Well don't hang all your time around just me. You're here for yourself also, remember that. Maybe if this place is good enough you and Craig can come back. Just the two of you. Now how much did it cost?"

     Unashamedly, "Oh they gave us a discount. One for you being a senior citizen and another for it being late in the afternoon. They even suggested I make it a two day event." She couldn't miss his exclamation as they passed through the gated turnstile when he gave a low whistle.

     "I'd hate to hear what the actual cost would have been."

     "Well, I did have to purchase mine at near cost, still I think it was a good deal," Helen replied. "So I hope you're up to enjoying it for another full day."

     Pushing past the turnstile Dale made his way into the changing room. "Oh be sure to take a shower Dad. They said it was some type of health requirement," as Helen held open the door once they reached the Men's showers; to make his way inside alone.

     Folding his clothes on one of the few benches he stacked them neatly inside of one of the available lockers.

     'Strange,' he thought, 'how the Men's showers were smaller in comparison to the women's.'

     He'd been sure more men would have flocked to such a place given both its name and by the number of scantily clad women he'd seen come in. He knew he was well past that stage of his life as he took to securing the key to his swim trunks. Even if he wanted the image of his late wife came over him. She had been his only true love, yet even he could admire others beauty. She'd never faulted him for his admiration of others as his eyes always turned back to her, telling her none could ever compare. Even she looked on occasion and both were secure enough in their marriage to know that's all it was. Nothing more.

     Dressed in knee length trunks and flip-flops, he looked himself over in one of the provided wall mirrors. With an old man's belly hanging out given his age and where his skin showed more wrinkles and flab in places, it was the norm for growing old he conceded as he made his way to the exit door. Only it failed to open. Pulling on it a few more times and its unwillingness to budge he remembered Helens warning before stepping into one of the shower stalls.

     "Must somehow be rigged till after I shower."

     Turning the handle he waited a few seconds for the water to warm before entering. As he placed a hand inside he was quite relieved to find the water was comfortably warm to the touch already.

     'Nothing worse than stepping into a cold shower,' he mused as he fully immersed himself into the spray, he felt the steam flow around him as the waters jets took to soothing his aged bones.

     'To many accidents in my life,' reminiscing once more, closing his eyes as he let the water bathe over him, consolidating themselves down in small streams from head to toes as he thought once more about his accident prone youth. How he'd wished he'd been more vigil when he'd been younger. Eyes closed Dale reflected on his early youth not seeing the pink mist emanate from the shower head. Filling the stall, surrounding his body the magic reshaped both him and his clothes as the parks water took hold of another male client.

************

     Dale swatted at the insistent buzzing that gnawed close to his ears every few seconds. The gnat was becoming infuriating with its refusal to be caught, not allowing him to crush it between his fingers for interrupting the dream he was enjoying. Its insistence penetrated deep into his slumber. Eventually with deep regret, he opened his eyes to the sound of his annoyance of his phone which had come to replace the buzzing gnat when he slowly awoke. Pulled from his slumbers, its senseless badgering continued to ring with its wanting to be answered, he barely had time to cling to the dream. A strange dream which quickly receded far into the back of his brain, as he stretched out an arm to pick up the offending instrument that took him away from his peaceful habitat.

     "Morning Dad." The voice called from the other end, a voice which sounded happy, chirpy when he finally answered. "How you feeling?"

     Surprisingly Dale felt good even from how he'd been wakened. Better than he had been in a long time. "I'm good."

     "That's good. I told you a weekend at the park would help you. I'm running a little late. I'll be there as soon as I can to pick you up for your appointment."

     Slightly confused, "Appointment? That's not till Monday." With that simple declaration Helen's tone began to change from happy to one of worry. "Dad are doing okay?"

     "Yeah, yeah. I'm just groggy, just woke that's all. Still a little disoriented," he lied. He waited till the sound of her sigh pricked itself over the receiver, her relief at having starting to worry over nothing taking place with her chirpiness returning, more evident as the two talked.

     Soon their conversation returned to light talk then with nothing more to say. "Well I'll be there as soon as I can. Love you Daddy."

     "Love you to." Hanging up Dale tried to make sense of what had just happened. Unravelling himself from his sheets he slipped on his slippers as he made his way to the kitchen, to try and make sense of what had just transpired. With his morning coffee brewing he contemplated what had happened to him those last few days. The last thing he remembered was stepping into the shower at the water park and its warm water engulfing him.

     Then?

     Then nothing. Everything was a blank from then to now with this morning's call.

************

     "Infernal contraption," Dale complained as he took to rubbing his ears once completed.

     "Well they did say it would be loud Dad," Helen reminded him once the scan was done.

     "Well they didn't have to secure me down so I wouldn't move. Lying there for close to an hour staring at the inside of that thing with nothing to listen except that constant clanking from the machine. It was like listening to a constant stream of jackhammers all going off at once."

     "Dad you know why, they couldn't chance having you jerk unexpectedly."

     "Still," as he once more took to rubbing his ears, "it's over with."

     "Well since you were a good dad how about we both go back that water park."

     "Don't try and bribe me young lady." A small frown formed. "And what of that husband of yours? What does he think of the idea? You are married to him after all."

     "He'll meet us there," Helen replied joyfully as they took to waiting out in the lobby.

     "Mr. Roberts?" a technician in a white smock called walking over to the two. "We'll forward the images to your doctor. Handing him a card Helen took possession of it once he'd looked it over. "This is in case we run into a problem and need you to return. Use that number also if you have any further questions."

     In a gruff voice, "Thank-you," as he gave a slight twitch of his eyes. Noticing the looks, "Just a slight headache, I get them ever so often. The noise just aggravated it that's all."

     "I understand," trying to sound both professional and sympathetic only the words echoed with a false sincerity having been used many times before. "Now if you'll follow me, I'll have the receptionist verify your information from your doctor."

************

     "Put your eye's back inside your head boy," as the two men walked towards the Men's showers.

     "Nothing wrong with looking," Craig stated as he took another gander of the women entering the park.

     Holding the door open, he let the young man step inside first with an admonishing voice, "As long as it's looking."

     "Look we may disagree on several things, but I love that woman," once the two were behind closed doors out of earshot of both wife and daughter.

     "I shouldn't be here. This should be just you and Helen."

     "It's not like that."

     "Oh cut the bull Craig," forgoing his usual term for him. "I'm not blind. Don't think I don't know how I'm interfering in your lives." Steadying himself small stabs of pain emanated within his skull as his hands began to shake when he reached up to unbutton the shirt to change "and I'm not stupid. You don't think I'm not aware of how much time Helen's been hovering over me." Again small bursts of pain sprang forth signaling the round of another headache, forcing him to sit down on one of the benches. "I'm taking time away from you and her because of my…illness."

     "If we're being honest." Craig stated as he too started to change. "Yes it takes her away. She's still your daughter. A loving and caring daughter."

     "True, but I'm the one holding you two back on starting that family you two have been talking 'bout. Come on boy. I'm interfering."

     "Wish you wouldn't call me that. It sounds so –degrading."

     Easing somewhat back. "Didn't mean nothing by it. When you're my age all you young'uns are boys or girls to me. For what it's worth you're a good man for sticking with my daughter through this, unlike that other one."

     "If it's about me looking."

     Favoring the young man a tight grin. "If you're honest about it and only looking, and she knows. Word of advice, tell her she's the only one. Compliment her. You young'uns forget how sensitive a woman can be when another pretty face comes into the picture."

     "She was a good woman Dale."

     "Damn straight she was. And she was the only one for me. Don't forget it was her who convinced me to allow you to take to daten Helen."

     "And I thought you would be tough. She was tougher."

     Hesitantly Dale put his head in his hands as he took to massaging his brow.

     Craig ceased changing and approached the older man. "You okay?" Truly concerned as his father-in-law gave an auditable uhhhh through gritted teeth.

     "Yeah just one of those blasted headaches. I'm sure the shower will help ease it."

*************

     A lithe and nimble woman pushed her way past the door making her way quickly inside the overflow showers having detected the sound of one sobbing briefly.

     Moments after entering the athletic woman with her slim figure held the door open, escorting both woman and girl as each carried their belongings.

     "I'm sure there's room," Anya remarked as the trio headed from the overflow showers towards the regular women's shower room. "We have patrons who come and go and I understand how frightening it can be for a girl wanting to be with her mother."

     The girl in question, slightly older than ten was dressed in a blue one piece bathing suit displaying white outlines of sea shells and starfish along with other tropical items looking frantically towards the older woman with her dark hair who seemed to watch her. "I just don't like being away from Mommy."

     "Jean-Marie," came a semi-frantic voice when the young girl raced to her mother embracing her. "I told you you'd be fine with Julie. There's no need to be frightened. I was just across the courtyard. See."

     Eying the younger women in what appeared to be form fitting red shorts and top a part of her grew slightly envious. Even covered in the parks work clothes her uniform seemed more form fitting as it accentuated her youthful body causing a slight sigh to emit from Helen. "I'm so terribly sorry."

     "It's alright Mrs. Rivers, Julie explained how attached Jean-Marie is to you. And even with her there to accompany her it happens." With a slight wave, she gave Julie an even smile. "Enjoy the park."

     Lounging in one of many fold out chairs, Julie whispered. "Feeling jealous Helen?" Each had taken in the sights of more youthful women with their striking figures and skimpy attire.

     "I wonder at times." Helen stated self-consciously comparing her figure to the others. Even after having her daughter, it seemed she was in a constant battle to keep her figure under control and lately she had caught Chis looking at other woman.

     "I don't know why you're worried," Julie replied having taken hold of Helens hand in assurance. "His eye may turn sometimes, but it's not nearly enough with how Craig eyes you."

     "You think so? How can you be so sure?"

     "Well maybe there is another who catches his eye." With a gleam in her eye indicating the youngest of the three who with several other girls chatted endlessly whom she had just met earlier sloshing their feet in the pools water.

     "He really adores her." As she kept an eye on her only child. "Maybe you're right. I remember Mom saying how the two of them would look only they knew there was nothing there to be afraid of. They teased each other about it, never taking it seriously."

     "And she was right. You were hurt once and I've seen him watch you. He loves both of you very much." Boosting Helens confidence. "Well it's seems we have an all-girls weekend with him visiting your father. So for tonight it's just the three of us. What do you say?"

     "You sure? I feel guilty that he's visiting him while we have fun."

     "Oh please! He's the one who insisted on it. Now come on what harm can it do? And I'm sure Jeanie will definitely love it."

     Thinking it over, "Dinner and a movie does sound nice and she has been begging to see it."

*************

     Dale sprayed a small amount of gel cream into his palm as he began to cover the stubbles in a slow circular manner listening to his granddaughter prattle outside his bathroom door, building a lather of foam as he waited for his razor to warm in the hot water.

     "And Mommy signed me up for swimming lessons, she said she wasn't sure why it had taken this long. Do you think I'll be a good swimmer Pappy?"

     "It's all up to you," answering once he cleared a small amount of lather to speak leaving a rather fowl taste on his tongue when he spoke.

     "Not everyone's a great swimmer, but your mom's right. You should learn the basics. Everyone should learn how. Especially if you happen to fall in a lake or stream. So, you having fun there?"

     "Um-hmm. The best. I met a bunch of others my age. We had fun going across these swings out in the water. We had to grab them as we went across laughing at each other when we fell and then we made castles as we played in the sand. It was real fun."

     "Sounds like you had a good time there."

     "Yeah," a smile beamed across her face as her eyes seemed to lite up in excitement. "When we went to eat Daddy was holding mommy's hand at the table staring at her. Her face was turning red and she was giggling so much. Then we went to a movie and they let me sit a few seats away. I heard them giggling and saw Daddy was kissing Mommy as he held her close. He was telling her how much he loved her, how pretty she was. It was nice but kinda yukky. Do boys do that? Kiss and hold hands I mean."

     "They can," glad Craig had been paying more attention to her, taking his advice to heart. "But only if you want them. Why? Has one tried to kiss you?"

     Jean-Marie suddenly went shy, "Yeah, but I didn't let him. His names Forrest."

     Giving a nod, "Do you like him?"

     "He's okay, he's nice to me. Not like Lorenz. He's yukky and mean. He says I'm dumb because I'm 10 and in fourth grade and he's nine."

     Giving a knowing quiet laughter. "Age ain't got nothing to do with what grade you're first in honey. It has to do with when your birthday happens. Yours is later in the year so lots of you kids are in the same boat. You're as smart as a whip and don't you forget it."

     Shaving Dale studied his rough features as Jean-Marie stood just on the other side of doorway. "Pappy? Are you sick?"

     Startled Dale nearly nicked himself when he ran the razor down his face, "What makes you say that?"

     "Cause you've been going to the doctors a lot. Like again today."

     "It's nothing." Dale lied to the girl, halting the conversation. "You go finish your breakfast. Your mom will be here shortly."

     With a near silent 'k' the girl quietly left leaving Dale to grasped hold of the sink, shaking his head slightly.

     "Dad? Dad?" Once more Dale was startled when he felt confused, out of sorts as he shook his head trying to clear it, causing bits of shaving cream to fall off his face. He heard the sound of the apartment door closing as he gripped hold of the sink to steady himself.

     "In here," he shouted. "Give me a minute, while I finish shaving." Helen didn't wait as she came first into the room with a worried expression on her face.

     "Are you okay? I called but nobody answered. And I could have sworn I thought I heard you talking as I called for you."

     In a gruff voice, "I'm fine. Ain't nobody here but me. You don't expect me to answer the phone while I'm in the bathroom do you?"

     Relieved. "No. I guess not."

     "I'll be ready in a few," as he went back to shaving, his hand slightly quivering as his facial features changed to one of irritation.

     "Well, we need to hurry."

     In a gruff reply, "I'll be ready, when I'm ready."

*************

     Dale woke with a slow start from having fallen asleep on the couch in the middle of the night, the dream still fresh in his mind of where a little girl named Jean-Marie took to shaking her light brown hair.

     Reaching behind her he took to smoothing back her hair like he had done with his other girls, placing the brightly colored scrunchie in place to form a pony tail. Finish with her hair Jean-Marie began to pour another drink into a blue cup.

     Squatting before her in her room at home, he had been pretending they were having drinks over pretend food accompanied by a tall giraffe on one side and a large spotted elephant on the other. Her going into great detail about another fun day at the water park.

     "And Mommy held on tight to me as Daddy held her as we rode down on these big tubes making a big splash into the water soaking all three of them. It was so much fun and then Mommy rode on several rides with Daddy because I wasn't tall enough." Her mouth showed the pout of disappointment at having not been able to join them.

     "Well I'm sure you had fun on the smaller rides," as he took to taking a fake sip of the make believe drink she had placed before him. And what of your other friends. Were they there to?"

     "Um-hum," taking her own sip. "Several of them were special," her voice filled with awe and excitement in what happened on several of them.

     "Pappy?" Her face turning serious as any ten year old could. "Are you well? Mommy says that you're forgetting more."

     Rising from his seat, Dale stretched from having to sit in such a small chair, even if it was only for a few minutes. Reaching out he lifted his granddaughter high in the air. "It's nothing. I'm old and my memory isn't like it used to be. Don't you worry I'm not going to forget about those I love." Pulling the young girl close he wiggled his fingers lightly on her side causing her to scream 'no' when she saw what he was about to do, causing another outburst from the girl as laughter filled the air from being tickled.

     Slowly he rose allowing the dream to fade, stumbling his way down the hallway towards his room, hands steading themselves along the walls before pushing back the sheets not caring he'd forgotten to remove his pants as the light on his phone blinked persistently indicating he had several messages. Too late in the middle of the night he'd take to hearing them later in the morning.

     Once nestled beneath the sheets, his mind tried to remember his own previous day's events only to return once more to his granddaughter when he heard the sound of giggling as sleep pull him deeper into slumber.

     "Stop it Pappy," the young girl squealed, picking up where the two had left off. Only instead of being released the girl gripped tighter around his neck in a tight hug as he took to swinging her around for the umpteenth time, old bones be damned.

*************

     Dressing Dale listened to the doctor interrupting him in his long winded explanation of medical jargon wanting him to get to the point. "How long."

     "It's hard to say," refusing to be pinned down. "It effects each person differently. For some it may not even be an issue. For others…" the doctor left the answer inconclusive, vague.

     "Like that's going to happen to me," when Dale recalled the blackouts days after visiting the waterpark. Then there were the days he found himself lost in his past as he revisited people and places long gone as with other places still fresh in his mind.

     "Look I've already got one ailment and that's not fairing any better, even with the meds, and now you're telling me I'm in the beginning stages of another."

     "Might." The doctor reiterated, "I can't be sure as the current tests are inconclusive. A more thorough exam with another series of tests will be needed to determine the full extent if any."

     Shaking slightly Dale rose from his seat grasping hold of his cane to steady himself. "And my headaches?"

     "Inconclusive. They might just be the onset of migraines."

     "Damn, what good is a doctor when you can't figure out what ails me. You go ahead and schedule them tests, but you're not to tell my daughter. Understand?"

     "I was under the impression you were under her care."

     "Well I'm not!" his agitation growing with what he had heard. "She just thinks she is. I have no such documents placing myself under anybody's care. She brings me because she's my daughter. I let her else I'd take the bus just like I did today. I may be old but I'm not senile. 'Not yet anyway.' And I'm sure there's a doctor's oath in place."

     "Why would you..."

     "You let me worry about how I handle my business and I'll not worry about yours. So schedule those tests and I'll 'try' to remember them. But I'll be damned if I'm going to worry my girl more." Tucking his shirt back in, he finished redressing, "Not just yet anyway."

*************

     Carefully Dale exited the cab once the driver had pulled close to the curbs front entrance of the waterpark. With a careful movement of sliding his legs out he reached inside to grab the large bag and cane as he secured his footing with one hand. He felt like a fool having decided to carry such a thing only he'd planned to spend more than a few hours relaxing an had packed a small assortment of items as he took to contemplating what the doctor had told him. He didn't want to feed his daughter needless information.

     "Morning Mr. Roberts," a soft voice greeted him as he approached the ticket booth.

     "Morning," he could barely make out the dark haired beauty's face hidden within the booths tinted glass.

     "My you're becoming one of our regulars. It wasn't just a few days earlier both your daughter and husband visited us."

     "Yep, both of them needed to be away from me. They asked but I begged it off. I can see a growing tension happening between them."

     "Yes, Helen and Craig, right?"

     "Your minds as sharp as ever it seems. Better than mine of late."

     "Oh I wouldn't say that. Now how can I help you? Fingers ready to create the necessary pass only to pause when the phone rang.

     "Yes? That's right… later this afternoon," Anya took to writing down parts of the conversation on a sticky placing it on a side board.

     "Something wrong?"

     "Oh no nothing of the sort," reassuring Dale. "Just a reminder about one of our customers. Sometimes a parent decides to drop off their child for a few hours rest. It's just a reminder for one of the staff to call a parent to pick them up."

     "You folks sure go the extra mile. Not many places would do that."

     "We aim to please," giving him a pleasant warm smile, "considering how many complain about the price of our passes. So what can I do for you? Another weekend pass?"

     "I was thinking of spending more of my time here. The waters been good to these old joints. They don't creak as much. Now what were those prices again?" Hearing the numbers, "Yeah, even with the discount I can see why, not that I'm complaining mind you. Those little touches do make the difference. The week-long one sounds good," pulling out a small wad of bills he quickly stripping out the desired amount passing them under the glass.

     "If you want we can secure your money in our safe for when you're ready to leave. Perfectly safe, pun intended."

     Warily, "If it's not a bother."

     "Oh no bother," flashing him a smile, "just remember to show your pass when buying food and drinks as meals have been encoded with a limited cash allowance for other purchases." Taking his billfold Anya sealed it in an envelope before him then securing it in the safe for him to see. "And as a friendly reminder...,"

     "I know, take a shower," the gruffness not nearly as evident nor a tinge of worry in having left his wallet with her before he passed once more through the turn-stile.

***************

     "Something the matter Pappy? A shrill voice asked as he looked over the school work she had been doing as he tried to follow.

     "No, just a little slow in the thinking process Jeanie." Taking out his own pencil and paper he relooked over the question as she went back to the problem.

     "A three-toed sloths has four legs," he mumbled. "There are twenty-five sloths, how many toes are there?"

     Slowly he took to writing out the problem having to erase the scribble he made, unable read the numbers he wrote. Several times he tried to make the numbers legible only to fail. When he compared his writing to his granddaughters' penmanship his seemed to take on one having been written by a five year old. Her writing much neater and legible.

     Relenting Dale put the paper away deciding he'd followed hers steps as she went through the problem verifying her answer in his head.

     "Pappy, I'm supposed to show my work," when he tried to help her with the answer. "Ms. Crumble said we need to think and show how to multiply and not use our fingers anymore."

     "Funny I used to do these in lickity split fashion." Commenting once he verified her answer with his.

     "Those history questions you asked about. Back in my day I was learning about a different part of history. The Civil War, World War Two, and the Great Depression. Now I'm a part of that history as you read about Martin Luther King, John F. Kennedy and others. Now those are making me feel ancient. Those were famous people and events in my day. People I used to read about from the papers or watch from the news.

     "Now you kids just go to this thing called the internet off of some computer to find out about them."

     "Was it fun when you was little?" Jean-Maries face showed the wonder as she tried to picture her grandfather having been her age at one time. Giggling with the absurdity of his gruffness as a kid.

     "Jeanie, when I was your age I used to play outside or watched TV on a black and white set and I had to be the one to get up to change the channel."

     His voice grew light in a teasing nature, "My dad said the only reason he had me was so he didn't have to get up and do the changing. That's what he had me for."

     Jean-Marie laughed. "Pappy that's funny." Her voice became quite when his face didn't change, unsure in what he said, "Pappy is that why Mommy and Daddy had me?"

     "You sweetheart," finally breaking into a grin with his tease. "They had you because they wanted you, unlike a lot of others. Just like your grandmother had your mother. We wanted her, to love her just like your aunt and uncle. They brought joy into our lives."

     "But they live so far away."

     Sighing "That's just the way it is now. Families used to live close together, but with jobs in different parts they moved and we have to fly and drive to see them. People don't live that close together anymore. For some they just had to get away from their parents. Well enough of this." Standing up he leaned backwards letting a few of his bones crack as he twisted and turned causing the girl to laugh at the sound. "How about we go out back and I push you on the swings? That is before these old bones give way."

     "Mommy?"

     "Yes, Jean-Marie?" Helens voice rang out.

     "Can I play on the swings?"

     "And what about your homework?" Helen asked having walked into the girls' room.

     "I'm almost done Mommy." Holding up her math work, "See."

     "And your reading?"

     "I promise before I go to bed. Please?"

     "She can read later and it's still daylight out." Dale intervened. "You can see us through the window an she knows what to do if I have one of my spells. So let her play." His eyes showed the pleading, "Just for a few minutes."

     "Please Mommy!" as the little girl waited next to her grandfather.

     "Just for a few minutes," giving in. Not waiting to hear the rest Jean-Marie ran past her with Dale moving past her, heading out to the backyard followed by her grandfather. "You still need to help set the table for dinner." Helen called out with Dale nodding in assent.

     "Higher Pappy, higher." Jean-Marie begged.

     "None too high," he said as he timed his pushes to when she came his way. Looking past her, he could see the watchful eye of his middle daughters face just inside the window, a smile laying there at the sight of the two. He'd take the moments when he could enjoying the days like he did for when she was small. Seeing her happy before heading back home.

     His hands moved in time to Jean-Marie's swing seeming to touch her as she moved downward, "Back when I was a kid, a little older than you are now, my friends would dare me to jump off. Seeing how far I could go before I landed. Now I don't want you doing that, because you could hurt yourself like I did."

     "Why did they do that Pappy," her curiosity growing in wanting to hear as he continued to gently push her.

     "Because they wanted to see what would befall me. I used to be what they called accident prone. I used to hurt myself over the simplest of things and then later they'd try and see what else would happen."

     "That's not very nice." Jean-Marie called out as she swung.

     "No, it wasn't. Your old Pappy was a fool for taking the dare." He admonished. "I ended up twisting my ankle when I landed."

     "Ow, I bet that hurt."

     "It did and then they'd took to blaming me for doing it saying I shouldn't have. That was their excuse for all the other times. To them it was a game. Soon I didn't take those dares, even when the called me chicken. A few stopped playing with me saying I was no fun to them anymore. They weren't very good friends."

     A few minutes later, "Jean-Marie." Helen yelled from the back window having opened it enough to be heard.

     "Yes, Mommy," as Jean-Marie continued to swing.

     "Supper's almost ready, you come inside and set the table like I asked you, then wash up."

     Dust gathered where her feet scrapped earth slowing herself down as she took to jumping off the swing. It wasn't far. Just a few feet in front of her swing.

     "Jean-Marie what did I tell you about jumping from the swings." Her mother yelled admonishing the young girl as Jeanie ran to the back entrance.

     "It was only a few feet Mommy."

     "Well just don't do it. I don't want to have to take you to the doctors like your grandpa was when he was your age. Grandma used to tell tales of how she'd spend hours sitting there with him after his friends coaxed him into doing another stupid stunt."

     Chuckling, "You listen to your mother Jeanie. She's right. It felt like I spent most my days in that hospital."

     "I promise Mommy." Jean-Marie said as she went to open the back slide only to turn around with a slightly low voice whispering to an empty swing set one lone swing swaying by itself. " I promise I won't do it again."

     Lying in bed Jean-Marie listened intently as her grandfather read the book out loud his voice trying to take on the characteristics of the characters he was reading.

     "'Oh my gosh,' Kristy exclaimed running down the sidewalks in a rush when she saw the time. 'What is it,' Stacy called out to her friend." The girls voices were deep yet high pitched as best as Dale could do.

     "You do funny voices Pappy," Jean-Marie exclaimed herself as she laughed at his attempts in mimicking a girls voice.

     "Well it ain't easy," Dale answered having cleared his throat once more. "I ain't the right type to be making those voices. You sure I can't read you one where there's some I can do."

     "But I like the Baby-Sitters Club. They're nice and the stories are funny." Laughing. "I like how you make them sound. You're funny."

     "Well, how can I not say no to my favorite granddaughter then." Taking up to reading once more.

     Later on Helen entered the room seeing the book lying on the floor between both Dale and Jean-Marie. Both appeared to be asleep, Dale in a chair with Jean-Marie clutching onto her favorite animal. Picking up the book she placed it back on the shelf leaving the two alone having kissed her daughter on the cheek before turning off the light and closing the door behind her.

     "Well?" Craig asked.

     "She's asleep." Confirming what her husband wanted to hear as with her.

     "I remember Dad doing those crazy voices as he read to me," a fond memory and smile coming to her.

     "I know of some crazy voices I can do also," Craig answered as he took to squeezing Helen close, a hand roaming seductively over his wife.

     Giggling playfully the two headed towards their own room. "I'm sure you do sweetheart."

**************

     "It feels funny as Jean-Marie fidgeted with the sides, looking down her front from where small tangible pain emanated, her tiny bumps hidden behind soft material confused between embarrassment and delight in how her chest pushed out more by the design of the material. Standing off to the side, out of her grandfather's view, her mother took to adjusting the small garment around the girl. They all heard the sounds of other shoppers in nearby dressing rooms. None seemed to say anything when Dale entered with them.

     "Honey your body's growing and, well, as you grow you're going to need to wear one." Helen said finally noting how the training bra shaped itself around her daughters frame.

     "Will mine grow as big as yours?" Jean-Marie wasn't sure about it. A few girls who she knew wore them. Even her best friend Cynthia Tanner started saying said how grown-up it made her look, admitting later it made her uneasy at times with a few of their classmates especially the boys. Looking over the assorted styles of training bras along with matching panties she gravitated towards ones with hearts and flowers finding them pretty.

     "Not all at once honey" reassuring her daughters thoughts, "I know it's uncomfortable now, but you'll grow used to them."

     "Your mother's right," Dale commented once the girl had finished putting her tee back on once finished with the selection process as with the fitting of several types; padded bras, cami tops as with bralettes, her mother taking a few regular types as with tube styled cami, their outer side covered with lace before heading towards the cashier. "She didn't take kind to them either. Not at first anyways. Your Grandmother had her ease into them."

     "I don't have to wear them all the time?"

     "No dear," her mother answered. "Not all the time. A cami shirt with its softer material will help with the itching for bed and maybe a soft tee to wear during the day to go with it." Later she'd have a deeper discussion with Jean-Marie once they were home.

     Once home Jean-Marie admired the assorted colors undecided which one to wear first, each with their own distinctive images before settling on a dark blue cami. Closing the door for her privacy, Dale made his way out to the living room.

     "She's growing," Craig commented as he bent down to pick up discarded tags, plastic hangers and ripped cardboard.

     "We all do," Helen agreed whimsically. "It only seems like yesterday when she first took to walking, tottering her way towards you."

     "Next it will be boys."

     "Get the shotgun ready boy." Dale said half-heartedly as he listened in to their conversation. "You'll be needing it to keep them off that pretty little gal of yours. She's gonna be a beauty."

     "Hopefully not too soon."

     "No, but I have found her sneaking in our room trying on more of my makeup." Helen replied. "She's scared like I was when I first started. Looks like we're going to have to have more girl talk."

     "Like you haven't been teaching her," Craig replied bending down to kiss her cheeks. "I'm just worried on how she'll be judged. Teens today are being judged more by their looks and how they act than what they know."

     "She's a smart gal." Dale commented.

     "I know. Just the other day, she wondered if she was pretty. She's just 10 and someone called her ugly in class."

     "Nothing bad?"

     "Not from what her teacher said. It all started once she answered a few questions others couldn't then someone said she was being a smarty pants."

     "Ah," Craig answered knowingly. "She's being marked as a teacher's pet. It's starting. I'm sure she's not the only one being teased."

     "Apparently not. Some boy who couldn't answer a question took offense when she answered it for him, showing him up. Then another girl did the same it seems."

     "I'm sure it'll be worse as she gets older."

     "And we keep encouraging her. Reminding her how proud we are of her and not let others judge her. I remember how hard it was just being picked when I knew the answers." Helen said. "If not for mom and dad's encouragement I would have quit also."

     "Damn right your smart girl. Your mom would be so proud."

     "Still I'll have a talk with the teacher later," Craig commented growing quiet as his tween girl slowly made her way into the living room. 'She's looking older already,' not failing to notice the change of stature his little girl was now facing as she grew.

     "How's my little girl?" Craig asked as his daughter approached.

     "Am I still your little girl Daddy?" Nervous about the changes that were taking place within her.

     "You'll always be my little girl," pulling the girl close to her. "Always and forever."

     "Good man Craig," said Dale pleased, complimenting his son-in-law as his granddaughter wrapped her arms around him tightly.

*************

     "How long is her pass?" A dark haired detective asked as he leisurely lounged on a soft couch. A cool glass had been placed before him. Normally he would have taken out his notepad taking numerous notes and details when conducting a missing person's report; for now there appeared to be no reason.

     "Less than week." The elder matron answered, herself residing next to him in the comforts of a plush chair. "Her mother picked her up the day before yesterday late in the day. One of the attendants placed the call."

     "So if I'm to understand, two days after his change the daughter filed a missing person's report. His apartment didn't look as if he'd been there after a trip to the doctors and phone messages were left unanswered." Jozef stated. "Shouldn't the magic have changed it to fit the reality of the situation?"

     "If you're asking is the magic stable I can assure you it is. But you're right it should have." Watching him she noted how he took to ignoring his phone once he scanned the number. "Aren't you going to answer it?"

     "No." His tone was curt and to the point, more blunt than usual, "It's of no importance, I'll call him back later." From his mannerism the unanswered phone spoke volumes to Grandmother and her granddaughter who was working at her own desk for the moment. She patiently waited for the ringing to stop.

     "Her mother arrived later in the day, picked her up and took her home. Nothing out of the ordinary. She didn't seem any different from her previous visits."

     "So if it's not the magic's fault what's going on? Most people 'transition' if you will away, or their past is altered to fit the surrounding area, depending on the duration level. Why is this happening?"

     "I checked his thoughts and history when he entered" Anya answered as she made a few annotations on a computer. "There was nothing to indicate he was suspicious or unstable. From what I could see he's dealing with Parkinson as well as some strife with his family. I did detect some forgetfulness and he's never shown he remembers changing once he enters the showers."

     "Why a little girl?"

     "I can't say why, only what his mind was focused on when he entered the showers. He suffered much in his youth and the magic latched onto it apparently. Unlike a lot of our younger patrons he accepts he's past his youthful desires and it just chose that period to change him. It could have just as easily made him a teenager girl or a younger women but I did sensed a strong desire from his family."

     "And even with his diminishing faculties you still allowed him to come?"

     "Jozef, you know the law. I can't deny those with disabilities. In most cases they come, change and are given a chance to be free of their pain for a few hours or days, like him. After changing and visiting a few leave with the same ailments they came in with. My park's not a medical cure all for all that troubles humanity. It's those who I find later who won't benefit I have reluctantly turned away. Not from a business point of view, but for humanitarian reasons."

     "Such as those who would become aware of the changes and still have their ailment." Jozef concluded. "I wasn't implying any fault on your part. Just an interest in the behind the scenes workings if you will."

     "And you're starting to understand why we don't try to help solve everyone's problems. My intention has always been to have a safe refuge for women, young and old, to come and enjoy themselves free from men's wandering eyes and lust. I've never intended it be nothing more than what it was meant to be."

     With a sigh the old woman leaned back, "You don't know the burden Anya and I, as with Selena, go to, to ensure that the effects are limited. Yes we interfere at times, but when we think it might be beneficial to someone. I prefer to let people solve their own problems. The magic helps to give many a different point of view. Sometimes it helps. Others, not so."

     "So, hopefully his case file will vanish once he returns. His memory filled with visiting his family along with other details."

     "It should."

     "I'll try to hold off on the amber alert as long as possible."

     "It was so simpler back in the older days Jozef. We didn't have to worry about technology as it is now. The two do not mix so readily."

     "Thank-you," he stood to take his leave, embracing the woman momentarily before he made his way over to stop in front of Anya's desk.

     Quietly he waited as Anya continued on with her work, her eyes avoiding the necessary contact with him as he stood before her.

     "Well?" It was that single word that spoke volumes to Anya.

     With a soft sigh, Anya finally allowed herself to look up at him. "I don't remember. Really, I don't."

     "Even gone, that woman is still causing trouble. First you. Then…"

     "How is she?" Jozef inquired hesitantly.

     "We don't know fully. She refuses to discuss the matter even if I get a chance to talk to her. She's been shielding her thoughts from us. Lately she's been more moody. A lot of girls go through that stage."

     "Anya she's not some ordinary teenage girl. What if she harms her mother or her friends? I've kept tabs."

     "You've been spying on her," Anya sounded appalled if not alarmed.

     "She was my responsibility."

     "And life happens Jozef, you have to stop blaming yourself over it. We did what we could."

     "Fine," deciding to let the matter drop. "Now about 'my' problem."

     "I'm looking. Yes we've had a few 'incidents' with a small number of our customers and we help them to cope with whatever aftereffect may occur. But..."

     "But you can't find a solution to mine."

     "Are you sure it's not just when you enter the park?"

     "Positive."

     "I see. That does complicate matters."

     Softening his tone. "Anya I don't mind the change if I buy a pass here. I'm the one who decides how long it lasts. It's when the change occurs randomly when he calls that's interfering with my life."

     "Then don't deal with him."

     "I've tried. My cousin says he's insistent on only talking to her. She's the one who brokered the deal. We've begun to invest a large sum in upgrading their factory as with obtaining first rights to their products along with certain stained glass we can't obtain here. I am obligated to talk to him about business matters."

     "I'll see what I can find." Anya promised not daring to look him in the eyes.

     "That's all I ask," before turning to leave. "And Anya, just like you told me, don't blame yourself for what you didn't have control over. We'll figure out a solution," leaving the two behind.

************

     Leaning against the door frame, Dale's imagination filled the room with toys, plush stuffed animals as well as a bed, dresser and night stand. That's what he imagined he saw at first when he came by to stay with his daughter on the last few days of his pass.

     Instead the room was filled with boxes, the room unfulfilled for its intended purpose of having a growing little girl live here. Regret filled him as he heard the pleasant sound of her voice compared to his gruffness. Her way of seeming to soften that hardened demeanor of his towards her father. The mother who radiated with a fondness for her daughter.

     "Dad?" came the voice interrupting his interlude.

     "Yeah. I'm fine," staring at the room where a single bed had been crammed in. Just enough room for him to spend the nights as boxes were stacked out of the way. Echoes filled his mind of tea parties and make believe hero's rescuing a Barbie from woodland creatures scattered on her bed and floor. Stepping gingerly around not wanting to disturb her playing only to hear her scream out unexpectedly, "There's a giant approaching," sending the hero to scurry towards his feet as the girl attacked his legs in defending now terrified woodland creatures as well as her Barbie's. Him giving out a gruff howling of anger as he joined in the fray. There was no friendly giant this time as a fragmented name came to him, Jean or something.

     "This ain't right. This shouldn't be here," lamenting at what lay before him. "This room shouldn't be used as some storage closet."

     "Dad, it's okay."

     "No it's not Helen." Rebuking his daughter for once. "You should have started that family, not taking to looking after me."

     "But your health."

     "My health be damn, I've dealt with it for years. Now I'm old but I can take care of myself," tearing into his daughter.

     "I know dad." Recoiling before him.

     "Do you Helen? Look at your brother and sister. Both have their own family lives. What about you and Craig?" Softening, "I know you think it best. You're just as caring as your mother, but you need to think of your family and not just me." Closing the door firmly after taking his meager belongings. The regret, the pain of not having that granddaughter distressing him.

     "Promise me you'll have that family you wanted. Promise me before it's too late girl."

     "Dad I… I can't. Who will take care of you?"

     "Fool woman," cursing under his breath leaving her behind to where she couldn't hear. "You'd be better off if I were the child and not the other way around."

************

     Dale looked at the report his doctor provided him once he arrived home from the bus ride. The analysis along with a cd had been placed together inside a sealed envelope for his convenience.

     Having looked at the MRI's in the doctor's office he tried to make sense of what he was seeing. The doctor's explanation baffled him with the provided images at his request for documentation as well as the written report of their findings. He wasn't sure if it was from learning what the doctor had declared or if he was having one of his normal tremors, it didn't seem to matter as he read the prognosis within his trembling hand. It didn't matter one lick from what he was told.

     The blackouts, the strange dreams of reliving his past as with imagining having a granddaughter along with the loving relationship they held as he slipped into his daze, it was all there in black and white. His mind was slowly being ripped away from him as his sanity skidded away from reality.

     Stressed he dialed the number to call his daughter. He waited as it rang wondering how would she take it. How would Craig take it? His thoughts turned to how much more of a burden he already was to his daughter. The thought and stress of what harm it would do to an already tumultuous relationship as they end up taking care of him.

     "Hi Daddy." The voice sounded strained when Helen answered. Did they have another one of their fights? A fight over him.

     "Hi sweetheart, I was just calling to let you know I made it home safely."

     "I'm sorry that I couldn't pick you up."

     "Helen don't. You have your own family to think of."

     "Yes, but you're my Daddy." Silence came as Dale thought once more about how his daughter had taken it upon herself to look after him unlike his other kids. For once he withheld the results, now was not the time.

     "Look I'm thinking of going back to the park later. Maybe tomorrow. It's done wonders for my joints and you two have some things that need to be worked out. You and Craig need some time together." It was as he talked he knew what he needed to do.

     "Yeah I'll call and let you know when I'm back." Clicking off the phone he tossed it on the bed as he went back to retrieve his jacket. He'd seen one of them pawn shops none too far, sure that it would have what he needed.

************

     "Pappy!" The voice was insistent. "Pappy! You gotta wake up Pappy!"

     Groggily Dale took in the site of the young girl by his bed dressed in light green pants, her now wearing a soft colored mint Tee her waist covered over by its simple hemline. With its short sleeves and soft material Dale was able to see the telltale sign of where Jean-Marie had taken to wearing one of her beginners' bras.

     "Go away," he mumbled, "You're not real. Nothing but my imagination gone crazy," turning his back to her as he rolled over.

     "No Pappy, don't. You can't. You promised. You promised mommy we'd go to the park today." Her voice increased in volume at his refusal to budge, her refusal to let up. "You promised we'd go back."

     "Look, it's not real. You're not real, none of it's real."

     "Pappy please," Jean-Marie begged, pleaded as he continued to ignore her.

     "It is Pappy." Thinking hard. "Daddy said if I ever had a bad dream I should try to pinch myself. Then I'd wake up because it was a dream right?"

     Insistent, "If it's not real you'll wake up. Pinch yourself Pappy. You'll see."

     Turning over once more to face her, "Look if it'll get you to go away fine," as Dale took to sitting up from the bed. Extending his arm out towards her he grabbed enough of his flesh to dig his fingernails in, his face went from annoyance to shock then mild pain.

     "Son of a …" he stopped himself only to repeat the process once again in self-assurance as his nerves relayed the signals to his brain he was in fact awake looking at his grand-daughter as both saw where small imprints had left their mark from his fingernails.

     "See," trumpeting her proof. Her own grin confirming her belief as he took to questioning his own.

     Running out of the room briefly Jean-Marie had grabbed her own bag not waiting. "Come on Pappy. You promised."

     Unsure in his bewilderment, Dale grabbed his own set of clothes only to pick up the phone.

     Curious Jean-Marie returned becoming slightly bewildered.

     "Yes, 221 Singleton Drive," Dale repeated as doubt lingered still in his mind. "I'll be waiting out front." Done he went over to the inside of his closet, pulling out a small home safe placing it on his dresser. Momentarily he considered shooing the girl out, closing the door only to reconsider as he then reached behind the dresser, feeling with his fingers as they came in contact with a key lifting it from a small hook which had been securely placed behind it.

     Stepping closer, Jean-Marie recoiled taking several steps back her breath seeming to catch when he first opened the grey rectangular box, examining the contents then setting aside a small pistol before counting out several small bills. Finished he replaced the pistol back inside returning both the key and safe to their hiding place.

     "I don't know what the hell's going on," Dale said once he placed the money inside his wallet taking a seat on the couch as he kept his eye on the slightly uneasy girl. "I should just call Helen, and ask her about you shouldn't I. I'm betting you wouldn't like that, only she'd rush over here fretting over me. Begging me to go back to the doctors."

     "Pappy please…" small tears started to swell from Jean-Marie's eyes.

     His jaw clenched shut, the words came out forced through gritted teeth, "Don't call me Pappy," as he pushed himself up from his seat. "I ain't your pappy. If anything you're nothing but a might have been. A desire I dreamt up as my mind fails."

     "Pappy, please don't. Are we still going to go?"

     Calming himself, "We're going or actually I am. I don't if you're here, but I'm going."

     Afraid, yet curious. "Why?"

     And like Jean-Marie a tear trickled down his own cheek as he took to rubbing it away. "Because I'm going to hold on to what little I've got left of what I saw and I'm going to enjoy it. To enjoy the dream one last time before what I have is lost. To see where I didn't aside her family; Craig and who or whatever you are, over me."

     Heading for the door he glanced back once more into his lonely apartment with its meager possessions. "I'd once hoped she'd have that family, the grandkids her mother and I desired to enjoy. Now. Now it's too late. I've taken too much of her life from her." His voice dripping with regret and sorrow.

     Closing the door he locked it placing the key under the mat as always. "Let's go. Even if you are just some figment of what I wanted, lets enjoy one last day of it for tomorrow 'nothing's' going to stop me." As he waited outside for the cab to arrive, another tear crossed his cheek, a definitive in his voice. "Not even you."

     Jeanie stepped out of the overflow showers dressed in her play clothes she had worn at the apartment as she hurried to leave the park. As she exited its gates she saw the old woman waiting outside her office door facing her. From the way she looked towards her, Jeanie had the strange impression the older matron knew what she was up to. It was starting to be late afternoon and she needed to head back to her Pappy's home with her pass set to expire for later tonight. Fearful from the way the elderly woman was watching her she calmed down slightly when the matron didn't approach her only to step back inside her office allowing her to leave the premises.

     Crossing over a few streets she kept her guard up when she thought she was being followed. Or so she thought when an older boy seemed to keep pace, yet a safe distance from her as she made her way over to the bus stop shelter. With tired legs she flopped herself down on the enclosures metal bench as she waited.

     Sitting there waiting her nervousness returned when the boy wandered into the shelter, ignoring her at first when he took to running a finger down the printed schedule before looking at his phone temporarily.

     "Shouldn't be long," he noted to no one in particular knowing it had to be her as she was the only other person there. "Only like a couple minutes before the next bus arrives."

     "Um-hmm." Jean-Marie answered glancing over towards the schedule wondering if she shouldn't have checked it first.

     "First time riding?"

     "Uh-uh. I rode it many times with my pappy and mom."

     "Do you know which bus to take? Different buses stop here and it can be confusing if you don't know the right one."

     Trying not to look dumb she stood under the schedule unable to see it fully with its dizzying array of bus codes and numbers for it was too high for her to make out which one.

     Jumping didn't seem to help in seeing only she gave an 'eep' when she found herself being lifted.

     "Here," offered the boy placing his hands around her lifting her by the waist. "Point to which area." Studying it quickly she pointed over to one section. "That would be this bus route," having traced a finger along one of the different listed bus zones. "That's quite a ways from here. And bus transfers," once he had put her down.

     "Oh."

     She was starting to feel stupid for thinking she could travel by herself and it scared her to know that someone might try to grab her having been told by her parents to be on her guard for strangers. And right now everyone was a stranger as rode the bus.

     As if reading her mind, the older boy began taking on a protective authority. "You know you shouldn't be on the bus by yourself."

     Drawing up her courage, "I'm not that scared and you take the bus."

     "Well yeah, that's because I don't live that far and I've taken the bus many times here before," his tone had taken on one of authority. "I don't think your mom would let you ride the bus this far. Not by yourself anyway."

     Pulling out his phone, "Whatcha doing?" Jean-Marie's voice began to tremble. "You're not calling the police are you?"

     "Nah, just my mom." And a few minutes later with an explanation. "She lives on the east side and I'll be fine mom, I promise. I know the routes and it's not that far from home. There's a transfer stop I can catch for a ride back. Yeah I will, I promise to call once I see she gets home."

*************

     Jeanie waited just inside the apartment's entrance hall for the cab driver, exiting only when the cab rolled up next to the curb. Uneasy she made her way towards it as she clutched tightly to her little purse. She had taken out two large bills, ones with twenties on them, stuffing each into her pants pocket ready to hand over to the driver once inside. She wasn't sure of its cost, but she didn't want anyone to see what she had placed inside her small purse. When she arrived at the water park she hoped she had enough. A part of her was confused with how her mother would react to punishing her for taking so much money, to do any needed chores or be spanked crossed her mind where another; inside her Dale, didn't seem to be interacting as he normally did. He seemed to be in some other sort of dream not wanting it to end.

     With a certainty in his step a figure moved away from one corner of the apartment complex, causing Jean-Marie to pause. With her frightened look and with practiced experience Jozef saw she was ready to flee as he strode purposely towards her effectively blocking her path of escape.

     "I think it would be safer if I accompany you, don't you think Jean-Marie." His expression was neutral as he opened the cab door allowing the girl first entry.

     "He tricked me." With a firm placement of his hand to keep the girl from escaping out the other door. Jozef tried to give a slight squeeze of assurance.

     "Only for your protection I assure you. Young girls your age shouldn't be wandering around alone, especially," with a knowing look he nodded towards her purse, "with what you have."

     Within the front the cab driver began to wonder what was occurring, "Look I don't want any trouble mister," once both occupants seated themselves in the back as he reached for the mic to call dispatch.

     Flashing him his badge, "There won't be, I'm just here to escort the young lady to her destination. A friend of mine more concerned for her safety."

     "You sure," as he took to looking at the younger girl, indifference crossed his face when she nodded, "Fine by me, but that'll cost extra."

     Jeanie opened the door leading inside the dimly lit room once she'd heard the sound of the click allowing them entrance once Jozef announced their presence. Standing near him, her eyes needed a few seconds to adjust to the dim light even though it hadn't been very bright outside. She'd noticed earlier how the police detective had taken to wearing dark glasses.

     "Hello Jean-Marie." Grandmother greeted the young girl. Her face was stern, yet her voice seemed pleasant, warm. "I believe you're wanting to make a purchase of a lifetime pass."

     Jean-Marie shivered slightly when Grandmothers gaze turned to her, her eyes seeming to bore into her.

     Grandmother motioned the young girl towards not her desk but over towards the lounge couch. "Thank you Jozef for escorting her. You should know Jean-Marie if he hadn't escorted you, the driver might have taken advantage of you. Suspicious why a young girl like you was giving him cab fare up front with such large bills."

     Jeanie looked at the officer. "Thank-you."

     "Normally I like to conduct such transactions at my desk," she indicated her desk behind her. "But there's some matters that I think needs to be cleared up. Such as why you're grandfather came to my park only to have you leave in a rush. That's not very like him as someone would end up calling your parents to come pick you up here later on."

     "I, I just don't want this to end, to go away." Tears flowed from her eyes. Frightened, "I want this to stay. To make both Mommy and Daddy happy and I tricked him into coming."

     "What do you mean end. Whats wrong with your grandfather?"

     Wiping away tears with proffered tissues. "He thinks this is nothing but a dream and he's slowly slipping away."

     "How do you know about this?"

     "Sometimes, sometimes when Pappy gets his funny face I'm able to see. I can't do much except to see things if he's daydreaming long enough." Jeanie answered shaking.

     "He was going to hurt himself after he read something the doctor gave him. I know he's sick. He's having trouble remembering things and he's been to the doctors so many times. He's not telling what it is to Mommy and Daddy when he's here because he heard them say they were thinking of sending him away for his own good. It was a big fight between them, when he was in his room. I wasn't there only Pappy overheard them." Tears trickled from her face more as she blubbered.

     "And if they do that I'm going to disappear forever also and they'll never know they had me."

     "So are we looking at another case incident of the Black Widow," Jozef said. Jean-Marie gave a fearful yet confused look.

     "He was someone who didn't remember coming to the park. You, on the other hand seem to know what's happening to your grandfather." Jozef explained his curiosity evident. He refrained from giving the grisly details to the young girl. He'd read over the report once he learned how his fellow officer, Roy, had been placed on the disability list for being injured. Still active waiting until his retirement came.

     "So you were just planning on buying the ticket and let your grandfather disappear."

     Nodding at being found out, "He's scared and angry. If I didn't trick him in coming he said he'd do something about not wanting to live like that. Pappy just disappears inside me after he comes because I'm here, but when I'm gone and he's back, there are days he nearly hurts himself - bad."

     "How do you know this?" Both Grandmother and Jozef sounded astonished.

     "Because it's like he's daydreaming, when I'm here, going back to when he was little. I see things when he was little and how he'd hurt himself with accidents. He's scared that's how he's going to spend what time he has, dreaming like this." Jeanie said in her shrill little voice which trembled as she talked. "Mommy's done a lot for Pappy over the years. She was always putting him first over Daddy. Pappy thinks that's why she didn't have me."

     "So do you think this is a dream then?" Grandmother asked concerned.

     "It not, it's real and I'm real, but I don't understand why." Jeanie answered. "He thinks of how Mommy is better off not having to care of him all the time." Jean-Marie said. "He's got a disease that makes him shake and now he has headaches, dazing out. He doesn't know when they happen and if it's the park or the disease making him forget."

     "I see. What do you think Jozef?"

     Jozef thought it over. "So it seems we have a different occurrence."

     The expression on Jean-Marie's face changed when a part of her seemed to tap into where her grandfather's memory recalled numerous murders around the city. Her expression showed and a more frightened young girl looked at them anxiously.

     Jozef quickly amended his last statement triggered something not wanting to upset the little girl. "What I mean is you're able to recall parts of Mr. Roberts's life while he doesn't fully believe you exist."

     For several minutes he thought through the problem as Jean-Marie held onto a glass of juice given to her by Grandmother.

     "I see several possible options. One we can just let Jean-Marie buy the ticket. But that leaves the question to how she obtained her pass as well as what became of her grandfather. It wouldn't be in either parties best interest to have a missing person's report filed only to leave it open. It would leave the family in a state of flux. Also the police department would be placed in a bad light given how we wouldn't be able to find him. We have a few such cases as it is. Bad for both the community and the department."

     Grandmother nodded her agreement. "Another option would be to just give her a membership pass and have her return the money. But this places you in a bad situation of where others may try and take advantage of your generosity if found out. You run a business operation with reasons behind selling lifetime passes to men and if word were to somehow circulate you were willing to forgo such matters it could set a precedence thus ruining you."

     "And as a partial business man you can understand my reasons why. I admit I have allowed a few to take advantage of my –generosity - but very few." Grandmother stated. "And for my own reasons."

     "So you're not going to let me buy a membership? You're going to let me disappear forever." Jeanie wailed. She wanted to leave, run away only she knew it wouldn't do any good. Her pass was set to expire tonight and then she'd be gone for good.

     "Jean-Marie there's another reason I won't sell you a pass. The money you took, even if it was yours is really your grandfathers. If he had come in here and asked I would have likely agreed but for now I see it as being under false pretenses no matter what the reason.

     "My reasons for allowing some to change permanently and not others is not as straight forward as others would like to think. I have my motives. I'm not trying to be the mean old witch but there are repercussions I have to take into account. To consider what others may not see – or like."

     Drawing Jean-Marie close to her the old woman took to stroking the young girls head. "I know it's hard, it hurts me also. I'm not as cold or without feelings as many think I am. I don't like it when I tell someone who I think deserves it, like you. It's not that easy, but it really is up to your grandfather to make that decision."

     Coughing to get their attention, "Grandmother. This is one of those matters I disagree with."

     "What would you have me do Jozef?"

     "Jean-Marie, I need to ask you and I need you to answer me honestly. Was or is your grandfather going to hurt himself?"

     "He was if I didn't…"

     "Jeanie, are you sure." Nodding Jean-Marie answered "Yes sir."

     With a grim expression. "Grandmother as of now consider this matter is out of your hands. Back at my desk, buried somewhere beneath a pile of stacked work cases I have a missing person's report waiting to be filed and closed. By all indications there is an individual wandering about who is not of his right frame of mind and is possibly seeking to commit bodily harm to himself. This has now become a police matter and it's only a matter of recourse of when and where I can find said individual. But on another it appears he has also unwittingly taken it upon himself to commit harm to another." Indicating a hand towards Jean-Marie.

     "As an officer of the law I have taken an oath to protect those from harming others and so I am therefor placing Jean-Marie under police custody."

     Stunned momentarily at the declaration, "But you can't," the older woman's face broke into a wry grin. "What are you planning?"

     Sitting there together the three discussed what Jozef had in mind.

     "Now if you'll excuse us Grandmother I need to take her to a safe place under my protection."

     "You know that's bending several rules."

     "I'll handle the chief if and when the matter arises. For now I believe the young lady is hungry and from the looks of her she could also use some rest. The day has been a large ordeal for her. If you would be so kind as to inform the parents," giving her a knowing wink, "I'll be on my way."

     As they rode in the car, Jeanie remained silent as Jozef made their way back towards the apartment. "So tell me how were you able to remove the money from your grandfathers safe?"

     "I do pay attention to things and he showed me." Jean-Marie said. "Like how Mommy and Daddy say things when I'm playing. And I knew Pappy kept a lot of money in his safe box, next to that gun."

     Nervous, she rubbed her hands together, wring themselves over and over. "Mr. Donovan, I'm scared. What if it don't work."

     "Jeanie," taking on a more friendly tone as they drove. "I won't lie to you. I can only try my best and hope reasoning with him will work for your sake. Even I can't make Grandmother go against what she thinks is right. One of the skills a police officer has to learn is when to negotiate and if that means bringing in others to help so be it."

     "Will you really be staying with me?"

     "I gave you my word," as he pulled into a favorite restaurant of his. "Now I have to warn you," giving his young charge a slight grin, "the place is famous for its European dishes, but take care of the deserts," trying to put a smile on her face as he showed his. "Some are really too good to pass up. The atmosphere is as authentic as with its decor, breathtaking if not awe-inspiring."

*************

     Dale rolled out of his bed, tossing sheets away, untangling himself from the confines of his bed. The dream had been a different one. One of his normal childhood days of playing football with his friends, the memory so vivid it came as anything but real. Only now as he looked at the clock its time showed he'd lingered in bed far longer than he normally would have.

     Walking towards the kitchen he found the smell of coffee filled the air. "Damn must have left the thing on overnight again." Admonishing himself, thankful the smoke alarm hadn't gone off once he made his way towards the kitchenette.

     Started his heart jumped when he heard "Good morning Dale," turning towards the direction of where the voice came. Seated in one of the chairs the middle aged officers clothes were rumbled having taken to sleeping in his overstuffed chair for the night after placing a very tired girl in bed.

     Still shaken, "I blacked out again and Helen sent the police after me."

     "Nobody sent me here."

     "So why the hell are you here? How did you get in here?"

     "You did. More to the point a little girl asked me. She showed me how to get in. Placing a key under the welcome mat is only inviting trouble. You need a better hiding place."

     His knees weakened, Dale shook as he scooted himself into a chair barely making it when his body collapsed downward into it. "It's not real. She's not real. It's nothing but a dream."

     "No dream Dale. Mind if I call you Dale? I'd like to keep this strictly informal, off the books. It's hard writing reports where it involves magic. Especially when it involves people who currently don't exist."

     "Don't give me that bull crap. There ain't no such thing as magic."

     Pulling himself up Jozef placed the paper he had been reading back down on the end table. "It's real Dale."

     Going over by the sink, Jozef briefly looked behind him before grabbing hold of a chipped coffee mug, a worn image of a grizzly. Jozef poured it half-way before setting it in front of him. "Your wife gave you this." Dale keep an observant eye on the detective as he moved around.

     Opening the fridge, "Parts of it are real, not all." Jozef continued. "She said you liked it with Hazelnut cream," placing the small container next to the coffee as with two pink packets. "Along with 2 packets of sweet-an-low."

     "How," as he stared at the coffee.

     "Jean-Marie or Jeanie as she likes to be called, told me." Taking a chair he swiveled it around before spreading his legs around the back. "You're not dreaming and I'm taking a hard line approach as she said you're not that easy to talk with. From my missing persons files your daughter says you can be 'ornery and pigheaded'. Her words."

     "So I'm being placed under arrest."

     "Hardly. What I'm dealing here is with magic at this point and I don't have intent except the word of girl who doesn't actually exist. Although I do see a possible motive only I'd be exceeding my authority if I don't have proper evidence. Even invited." as he retrieved the doctor's evaluation. "More to the point I'm here on behalf of your grand-daughter; Jean-Marie."

     "Listen boy, that girl don't exist. None of it was real."

     "No it's not. Not in the literal sense of when you're here now. But it's very real to her and to others when she is. Like her mother and father."

     "I don't know what type of game you're playing, but if you're not here to arrest me I would suggest you leave."

     "No game Dale. I'm just here waiting for another to try and prove what's happening to you is not a dream. Well parts of it. For now deep within you is a young girl scared to death of having both her grandfather and her dying. Frightened enough to where she would steal to protect herself. And you."

     "Look if you're implying there's magic, there's no such thing…" only to stop with the loud knock of the door.

     "You're late," Jozef stated after he went to open the door. Standing just outside the slender built of a man entered.

     "Sorry, traffic and construction. So he's safe?" Craig's voice was fast, excited, relaxing momentarily when his eyes darted around. He caught the older man's look of worry as he entered the room, his father-in-law sitting at the small dinette table. "And?"

     "He just woke up. Apparently he's not a morning person, no matter when he wakes."

     "Not until he gets his second or third cup of coffee. If we're lucky." Craig jibed in jest only to look down at the paper handed before him. "What's this?"

     "Read."

     "Now hold the hell on, that's private Mister." Dale roared pulling himself up as Craig scanned it over only to quiet when Jozef displayed the pistol to him.

     Sucking in deeply with a gasp, "Christ."

     "Hopefully you can reason with him." Jozef said as Craig took to the couch.

     "I, I don't know, if what you told me is true and this."

     "As true as when you visited the park those times with your wife accompanied by your father-in-law." Jozef stated.

     "A part of him is unable to grasp it. Unable to accept it. It may be due to the illness or the disease. I don't know."

     "Just what the hell do you think you're doing?" Dale thundered.

     "Trying to save a life. Yours and a little girl," Jozef retorted. "To prove she exists."

     Breathing in deeply. "It's true Dale, pure and simple its magic."

     "Don't fill me with that crap boy."

     "Dale you told me I needed to help Helen with our marriage. You're not the easiest person to be around and your illness makes it worse at times. Even for Helen."

     "Damnit just spit it out boy."

     Rising quickly Craig snapped. "Don't call me that. I hate it when you call me that. Look. When we went to the park that day, I admit I was contemplating other women. Our marriage has been on shaky ground for a long time only I took our marriage vows for meaning and I meant it."

     "So, what's that got to do with this?"

     "Don't you get it, I was lonely. With Helen spending most of her time with you now, I had nobody to be around. I'd come home from work and find Helen was here looking after you. I was starting to stray as I came home to an empty home.

     "So when I entered the showers I became that girl I wanted. That woman who I needed, desired, only it twisted it. Helen needed someone also. Someone she could confide in as she dealt with you. And that day I became the woman I wanted, and the woman she need. I came to understand what Helen was going through. The heartache of a decision she would come to later regret. We both know she chose you over having a family because she loves you. And I stayed with her for that same reason.

     "We wanted something and the park gave it to us in an unexpected way. Those times when it was just Helen an me at the park, I learned of what ailed that woman more than any conversation we had as husband and wife. She would never admit the mistake to me in the years we've been married. Women confide in other women their regrets in life. An understanding no man could ever claim to know or appreciate.

     "She wouldn't tell me as her husband, but she would tell me as her closest friends and confidant.

     "She was right. She couldn't provide for the both of us. She had placed her heart where it mattered most to her at the moment and I couldn't compete with it. And right now she regrets never having that child."

     "Why are you telling me this?"

     "Dale, I love that woman more than you can imagine. I've tried to make it work, but even with counselling and magic from that park the rift between us is too wide. Helen hasn't told you, but we've filed for divorce over irreconcilable differences."

     "Why you little sack of shit."

     Putting himself in Dales face, long suppressed anger rose within, "Don't you start on me, I'm not the one who wants to end it. At least I tried to make it work with counselors and sessions. She wouldn't show on several occasions as she was with you. Saying she worried about you. Even with magic and as her friend I can't compete with you."

     Taking the gun from Jozef, "And now this," examining, raising it in front of him, "I'm not the one who's ready to tear that woman's heart to shreds when there's a chance to heal that rift."

     "What do you mean?"

     "Dale when it was just me who went to the park, it ends the same. The only time I've seen that woman happy was after the three of us went together on those few occasions. I heard how she told of her marriage with him and their little girl. The pain they all shared as they watched a father, a grandfather, wither away in some community home. How her heart broke in seeing him sitting there at times with a blank expression staring out unseeing. Hating how he was going, spending the last days of his life turning more inward as the outside world went away. Her hating the decision of having placed him there and not wanting to go back to visit him as he couldn't recognized anybody, even her. For some they can be there, to bear it up to the end. Only for Helen it was too painful for her.

     "And each time our pass ended with the three of us it ended the same way until I couldn't, wouldn't go back. The idea of having a happy marriage with our little girl and then have it snatched away in what might have been is too much for me. My world returns to one of pain and suffering as with Helen as she cares for you. A family fading into the back of my memories accessible only when you came. It hurts like hell to know what we could have had." Tears came down his face as he stood face to face with the man.

     "I'm not asking, I'm begging you don't do it. I know you want to spare her, but this won't solve the problem. If you do you'll just put Helen through more pain then she could stand."

     "Boy you don't understand." Dale said slumping down into the chair. "You don't know what it's like to find yourself lost inside yourself."

     "No Dale I can't say I know exactly what's going on up there, but I know enough to understand why you want to do it. Just like you I don't want her to suffer more. Or you."

     "What do you want me to do?"

     "I want to be selfish this once. I want that family. I want to be there for her as Helen grieves over the loss of her father, knowing he's in a better place no longer suffering. I want that little girl because I could see the love and bond they shared between the two of them as she sees a part of her family still with her.

     "I want to take my little girl out to a movie, to dance with her, or just watch her play. To have Helen tell about her father when she was growing up. To teach our child what it means to be a woman.

     "To be there and watch her grow and maybe have a family of her own, to have her with us when it's our time. That's what the magic showed me Dale and I want that dream. And I can't have it. Not without you."

************

     The bench was cold sitting there, growing slightly warmer as he held the pass in his hands, him looking at the picture. The last time he'd ever see it. Dressed in his old man swim trunks he just sat there staring towards the stall with its curtains hanging there. The shower waiting like a death sentence for him to enter. A part of him tried to believe knowing it was for the best. What he had always wanted for his daughter.

     "Dale?" The voice came softly as the other man waited patiently nearby dressed in his own swimwear not bothering to rush him as he faced down his own fear, needing to keep it in check.

     "Yeah."

     "You okay."

     "It's not easy."

     "It never is, is it. You don't have to do it, we can stop, just leave."

     "To what? More suffering. No. It's want I've wanted also."

     "You want me to leave?"

     The distressed look along with the shaking told him all he needed to know.

     Trying to push the old man's worries aside "I always admired you and your self-independent ways. How you fought Helen to keep that part you needed."

     "I never wanted to be a burden."

     "A gruff old man maybe, but never a burden." Taking a seat next to him, resting his arms on his legs the two sat there in silence together. The fight seemed to drain away of the older man.

     "I ain't no coward for having wanted to end it."

     "No, I never thought that. I think of a proud father who had seen enough of one illness taking its toll on his family and how he thought better of it. How he wanted to stop both his and their suffering in the only way he knew how."

     "So you think no ill of me then?"

     "I think now of a man I know being far better than I ever am. Never able to measure up to his standards. A brave man who only thought of his family as you do now."

     "This girl, Jean-Marie, you'll be good care to her?"

     "As best I can from what I know. I have you to thank for that."

     "Then you know what it's like to be a father raising a daughter. How her expectations will always be of the first man in her life."

     "I hope to live up to that expectation. From what I recollect, she was my star, my pride like Helen is to you." Reaching out Craig turned the handle sending the water flowing through the pipes letting its spray fill the stall as the two men stood there waiting.

     At first Dale took a step only to falter, Craig reaching out to steady him grabbing hold, "Let me help you."

     "Listen Craig I don't need no -," he quieted when he saw the look. One saw the pain, the other fear. Each knowing the conclusiveness of what was going to happen.

     "I'm just tired. Tired of fighting." 'He could have stayed away,' Dale thought, 'left me alone with nothing more to say or do.'

     "I know," when the two stepped together as one letting the pink mist rise about them, unnecessarily drawing closed the curtain in a final act of nerves as the waters magic took effect.

     "Take care of my girls Chr-" Water washed over shaking bodies as Craig held on to hear one voice fade overtaken by another.

     "I'll do my best …" Julie's voice whispered, warbled, "Pappy."

     As she stood there Julie felt the small tight embrace grow stronger, tighter from the young girl taking hold against her as she too took to crying, the youngsters sobs racking her small frame against hers with water drops continuing to fall, intermingling with both sets of tears.

     "He's gone. I can't feel him anymore," Jean-Marie wailed. "Pappy's - gone."

     Kneeling down within the shower Julie made shushing sounds towards Jean-Marie allowing her to continue, to let the girl's tears flow. "Yes he is. Only he's not really gone.

     "He right here," placing a finger where her heart was. "Right here inside of you. Always nearby." Taking her finger she slowly traced the outline of a heart.

     "He's a part of you," pulling the little girl close to her, hugging her tight. "He'll always be a part of us."

*************

     "Well?" Jozef asked as he waited inside the office room.

     Nodding both women relaxed. "She'll be fine." Grandmother said as she went about her usual business. "Julie seems to be handling it well. The two of them will come together more, I foresee. A growing bond just like her mother's as Craig takes care of his family's needs."

     "I don't see them needing our help. Regular grief counselors will help them deal as a family with Dales passing." Anya replied a voice tinged with sadness.

     Relieved Jozef answered his phone. Slowly he took to bringing his hand upwards as he talked, absently taking a lock of his hair twirling it as he spoke in a foreign language. Both grandmother and granddaughter eyed the slow transformation with wonder as Jozef youthened before them.

     *"Yes, I know the troubles you're having," Joslin said her face softening as she talked. "You know you could have just talked with my cousin –"* her face flushing as the conversation continued.

     "Of course I love talking to you," her clothes shimmering from his regular attire of slacks and buttoned shirt to one of a short skirt, low heels and a slightly revealing blouse. Giving a beseeching look, both woman returned to their work, knowing that they could read her mind in what was happening.

     "Razvan please, now is not the place. No I'm with friends." Joslin explained, her transformation complete as she softly giggled. "I promise to call back. It's just I have work and the time difference."

     Growing uncomfortable with Anya watching, her face gave a sudden smirk and with a characteristic glance returned the smirk with the most ladylike gesture she could. She stuck out of her tongue towards her friend. "I know. Summer is approaching and I'm sure I can find time to visit." Twirling a lock of hair once more.

     Sighing as her bosom heaved as with a rising need, she felt the unfortunate stares her way. "He always does that to me. Always."

     "I'm sorry," with Anya taking a seat next to the young girl. "I didn't mean for this to happen."

     "I know." Joslin replied hugging her friend for support. "Even when I come on my own I revert to this age now. I'm an officer at the Precinct not a detective. If not for Roy knowing with the chief I'd be regulated to menial office work."

     "So how long this time? Anya inquired.

     "Depends." Joslin replied as she rose to leave. "If I call him and how long we talk. Maybe a day or two. More if he calls back. I have no control. And worse still…" leaving the unsaid message as her need started to rise.

     "We'll figure it out Joslin I promise."

     "I hope so," Joslin replied as she place her sunglasses on. "Because come summer I don't think I'll stop myself from visiting him once more," as the tingling sensation increased within her. "God Anya what that bitch Oksana did to you and us."

     "I know Joslin, I know."

     Grabbing her purse Anya hurried to catch up to her. "Come one lets get an ice cream, my treat."

Fini

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Comments

Quite A Convoluted Tale

littlerocksilver's picture

Very interesting and entertaining. I'll probably have to read it again to pick up anything I overlooked. I think there are references to other tales that I have overlooked.

Portia

There's quite a few

There's quite a few references to ib12us's amazing character Mel as seen in "The Runaway" and "Magic Sucks" and "Of hopes and dreams, of friendships lost". These may have been easy to overlook since Mel wasn't named directly. There's a reference to "The Temptation of Anya", and of course there's a big comparison to ElrodW's "Black Widow" story.

I hope I found them all, but there may have been some one-off stories that were being referenced indirectly(maybe "Wandering Eyes" or "Mommy's Girl" or "The Coup"?)

I'm told STFU more times in a day than most people get told in a lifetime

I feel for Dail's

Renee_Heart2's picture

Family but he had to do it Jean is special the glue that holds Dale's son-in-law & daughter together.

Is it grand mother that Joslin is speaking of or who?

Love Samantha Renee Heart

Thank You

Haven't read it yey but thank you for another B B story
HUGS

Bikini Beach...

and Grandmothers limited yet oh so potent magic. I have had a bit of a rough time of late. You get older and long ago errors come back with a vengeance. I identified heavily with the old man in this story. Oh my mind is still sharp, but my physical problems, caused by excesses when young are coming home to roost as I get older. So I can sympathize. I loved the gentle way you created the family situation and found a rather unique way for Grandmother and team B.B. to solve it, along with a certain Detective/Officer. You do law enforcement right, which is becoming ever more rare these days. You touched my heart, and I am not the least bit ashamed to say I cried like a baby. My beautiful wife and daughters and son and grand kids would be shocked to see big, old, burly, ex-cop Grandpa weeping so. Thank you for sharing.

I am a Proud mostly Native American woman. I am bi-polar. I am married, and mother to three boys. I hope we can be friends.

ib12us, you have done a great

ib12us, you have done a great job keeping faithful to the Bikini Beach universe while creating some truly outstanding characters of your own. This is a great followup to your Mel stories and shows Jozef to be the hard-nosed cop with a heart of gold yet again.

I'm told STFU more times in a day than most people get told in a lifetime

Oh So Sad

Daphne Xu's picture

Dealing with a disabled parent, or being a disabled parent, especially one with dementia. Knowing that there's no possibility of recovery, or at best a slim possibility, that things can only get worse. I'm not really sure how much dementia there was here. At least it's not as bad as Alzheimer's.

I have to admit, I am confused about what was happening. I think I understand that Dale became Jean-Marie (the French pronunciation?), Craig and Helen's daughter, when he visited Bikini Beach. Meanwhile, Dale was thought to be in an old-folks home, and then became a missing person. I was confused about the scenes where Dale and Jean-Marie are together, although it seems now as if Dale was dreaming them after his/her membership expired.

But my understanding could be quite off. A good story, very sad.

-- Daphne Xu

-- Try saying freefloating three times rapidly.

If I am getting it correct...

... the scenes with Dale and Jean-Marie together are actually a half-dream, half-hallucination of his. Probably triggered by memories from the time in the BB park, seeping through the inability of his damaged brain to contain them safely behind the veil enforced by the BB magic.

(The personality of Jean-Marie is built upon his childhood memories, gender-flipped - and the old age and the brain deterioration make more vivid exactly the earlier memories. That might also be a factor.)

As for the story being sad - it is ib12us who can tell this, but I hope that Jean-Marie and Dale will still meet in dreams, maybe even in hallucinations. Freed from the burden of the illnesses, Dale would lose most of his grumpiness and could make a wonderful grandfather and counselor. If you are a teenager, talking in hard moments in your mind to your deceased but loved grandfather is perfectly OK. And getting responses and counsels from him means a rich imagination, but nothing more, doesn't it? :-)

Dale and Jean-Marie

As was stated in the shower, Jean-Marie 'lost' her grand-father and was confirmed by Julie, hence Jean-Marie will no longer 'feel' her grand-fathers presence as she had once did.

As was stated in the story,

As was stated in the story, Dales' memory was starting to fail and he was turning inward on himself, loosing a part that people don't see readily.

Jean-Marie may be considered French but many people like the name and use it, so no Jean-Marie is not French.

The idea of how people perceive things is a bit complicated to me on this issue of how they are seen. If you went with a friend to BB and both male and both remember being turned, then you both would know. But what if you returned but not with your friend? Would they still know or would they perceive it as something else. The same goes for the three. Dales absence had to be explained with his absence. This varied between the three.

1. When it was just Dale or Dale and Helen, then he could have been having an episode of wandering and hence the police report.
2. When Dale and Craig visited, even with Helen, then Dale was in a nursing home with Craig visiting, caring for Dale.

I just used it as a matter of perspective of how the park dealt with each individual.

By Dales perspective of happenings he was seeing the 'Might have beens' of his life where he still had his ailment but also seeing, due to his illness, where Helen and Craig had a daughter also. His desire if you will.

This one is wrenching

gillian1968's picture

My father had Parkinson disease and my grandmother had what was probably Alzheimer's. So Dale is facing the double whammy of aging.

I wonder how I will cope with either of those.

Gillian Cairns

I had to read it again. It's

Daphne Xu's picture

I had to read it again. It's still so sad. I think that I understood it a bit better the second time through. There were, no doubt, references to other stories that I'd forgotten -- or at least forgotten certain details thereof. In particular, the final scene of Jozef apparently involuntarily transforming to Joslin -- maybe a relic of "The Temptation of Anya".

-- Daphne Xu

-- Try saying freefloating three times rapidly.