A Change Of Perspective Part 5 of 11

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A Change of Perspective

by Optimizer

Part 5

~~~~~

"Did you hear about Cory?" Linda asked breathlessly as the girls sat down for their usual lunchtime conversation.

"No, what?" Erica asked, trying to appear confused. She'd been wondering when this would come up. Skipping school Friday had only postponed it; it was Monday and couldn't be avoided any longer.

"He ran away from home last week!"

"What?!" Erica and Kristina both said; Kristina with more sincerity.

"Totally! Just took off! Left a note. He didn't even take any of his stuff!" Linda looked more excited than alarmed. Of course, it was juicy gossip.

"That's really weird," Erica essayed.

"Ya think?! Syndi says his parents are saying he musta been kidnapped. That the note's a fake."

"Huh," Erica said, noncommittal. "Well, whatever it is, it's weird."

"Tru dat," Kristina agreed.

Thankfully the girls moved on to more normal gossip after that. At the end of lunch, though, came the question Erica had been dreading.

"You wanna hang out after school?" Kristina asked.

"Sure," Linda said around a mouthful of sandwich.

Erica swallowed and shook her head. "Sorry, I can't. Gotta head straight home."

"You ditched us all weekend! What's up?"

Erica had thought carefully about what to say. "I just found out, my cousin is moving in with us for a year. I kinda gotta be there for her."

"Bring her along." The other girls were giving her strange looks. This was big news; why hadn't she brought it up before?

"Not right now." Erica mentally apologized to Cora. "She's being a total drama queen about it. Won't leave the house, for now. Mom says I gotta 'stick around until she gets settled'."

"Well, fine. I guess we could come over there..."

Erica struggled to keep any signs of alarm off her face. Striving mightily to sound casual, she said, "Nah, seriously, I think that'd make it worse. I'm pretty sure she'll calm down after a while." She paused. "Call you later?"

Both her friends were frowning, but Kristina shrugged. "Whatever. What's this cousin's name, anyway?"

Another mental apology. "Jewel." They'd just been talking about 'Cory'; bringing up a name like 'Cora' now would be... unwise.

~~~~~

The subject of Cory came up again while she was waiting for the bus. A boy walked up to her; she recognized him as Brandon, Cory's teammate, just as he opened his mouth. "Hey, Erica, right? I'm Brandon, we met at Homecoming?"

"Uh, yeah?"

"You heard anything... I mean, you heard about Cory, right?"

"Well, yeah. He wasn't in class today," Erica said cautiously. Suddenly, inspiration struck. "Have you heard from him? We've got our final project due next week."

He frowned. "That's what I was gonna ask you. It's bullshit, him running away. He was talking about regionals and everything, like, that day."

"Well, I haven't seen him or anything." Erica said, praying she sounded convincing. "Will you let me know if you hear something?"

"No prob. Same with you, okay?"

~~~~~

Erica let out a very tired sigh as her head sagged onto an open book. Finals commenced tomorrow and she was behind in her studies, thanks to the Cora Situation. At least they'd have a few weeks of vacation before the girl had to present herself at school.

Goddess, it was so weird seeing Cora struggle with all the little skills and techniques and assumptions that went with being female. The unwilling Sister's fuming about cosmetics recalled her own early frustrations with them; ones she'd half-forgotten. It made Erica conscious of how far she'd come since her Transformation. So many reflexes and attitudes were now - literally - second nature to her. She really was a different person by this point.

It was time for a break. She stood, stretched, and went downstairs to find a drink. She felt an instant's jealousy, as she passed the living room on the way to the kitchen, seeing Cora watching TV. She quashed it an instant later. She knew Cora would rather take finals for a month straight, in German, than skip them for the current reason.

The fridge was well-stocked with diet soda, and she grabbed one thankfully. For a moment, she gazed longingly at the pantry. There were chips and cookies in there.

She turned away. Eric had always been perplexed at how girls counted calories. But Eric had been a boy, carrying around pounds and pounds of calorie-hungry muscle.

Her body couldn't snack like that - or if she did, her body would look out-of-place among the other cheerleaders, and sooner than Eric could ever have imagined. Erica understood the complex relationship women often developed with food, now - being thin enough to be fashionably pretty meant that both food intake and activity had to be thoughtfully balanced. She grasped much more clearly why ice cream and chocolate were 'indulgences' to women and not just a casual treat.

Forcing sweet, salty, or buttery goodness out of her mind for now, she dropped bonelessly onto the couch and stared uncomprehendingly at whatever Cora had pulled up from the DVR.

"How's it coming?" Cora asked, not without sympathy.

"Okay, I guess. Math is gonna suck."

They were quiet for a few moments. Then Cora stirred. "What are people saying at school? About me, I mean?"

Rumors had been flying once the story got out about Cory running away from home. Erica had heard some pretty lurid - and fantastically unlikely - theories. She decided not to relay specifics. "There was a lot of talk. Nobody knows anything." She paused. "Brandon asked me if I'd heard anything."

"Huh." Cora didn't say anything, but she seemed a little pleased.

After a moment, Erica said, "Nobody can think why you'd run off like that."

"Not the real reason, that's for fucking sure," Cora muttered.

"Can't be helped for now. I'm sure it'll settle down pretty fast."

Cora made a ghost of a grin. "Is that supposed to make me feel better? 'You being gone won't make much difference?'"

"I didn't mean that! You know that!"

"Yeah, I know. I just..." She shook her head. "It just sucks, that's all."

Erica laid a hand on her shoulder. "Wanna help me review math?"

Cora sniffed, and made what might charitably be called a smile. "Guess I'm not totally useless."

~~~~~

Jacqui ran off a copy of Cory's desktop drive and dropped it off. Cora spent much of that night going through the files, grabbing things she cared about - music, videos, and so forth. Miranda made one request - that she not retain any pictures of her former male condition. So far as Erica could tell, Cora complied. In fact, save for a single shot of her parents, she didn't retain much that directly related to her former life.

After she'd transferred some games and utilities and a large assortment of source code and e-books, she paused. Her mouth quirked to one side in thought.

"What?" Erica asked.

"Nothing," Cora said after a pause. She moved to shut down the computer.

"No, wait, there was more - wasn't there?" Erica said, a little breathlessly.

"No," Cora said.

Erica decided to go for it. "You didn't have any porn?"

Cora stared at her for a few seconds. Erica said, "Look, you're gonna want some, in that body. Trust me."

Cora was almost glaring. "Would you like someone seeing your porn stash?"

"Not normally, I guess. But in this case... you can look at mine if you want." Erica was reluctant. But it seemed like a good way to get some insight into Cory's - and therefore Cora's - psychology, especially with regards to sex. That kind of intel was desperately needed.

Cora regarded Erica, wearing a hard-to-interpret expression. Erica had a strong intuition that the motives for her offer were clearly understood.

"Well, what the fuck," Cora mumbled, and opened up an obscure directory.

It turned out not to be quite as substantial a collection as Erica's. And nowhere near as varied, of course. Either Cora had more hidden caches she left unrevealed, or Cory had actually been pretty vanilla in his tastes. Erica was somewhat relieved that no serious S&M or genuinely degrading images were in evidence.

Erica spoke up after a little while, noticing common features of pictures and videos that didn't make the cut. "I'm sorta picking up on a theme, here."

"So I had kind of a thing for blowjobs." Cora sounded faintly defensive. "But now... there's only one way I could be involved in a beej. And that just ain't happening."

"I know what you mean," Erica replied diplomatically. For her part, Erica couldn't quite agree anymore.

Cora brought up a few pictures from another directory. A heterosexual couple at play. "Whoops, nope." She quickly closed the window and moved it to the 'discard pile'. "I can hang onto some of the lesbian stuff, I guess."

Given Cora's aggressive filtering, the job took less time than either girl would have expected. Of course, both of them had started to have difficulty concentrating, too. "Time to pay up," Cora said, voice only a trace husky.

They went over to Erica's room and brought up her collection, whereupon she helped guide Cora through it.

"Huh. She's really hot." Cora said. "It'd be fucked up having tits that big, though."

"Don't think they're real," Erica muttered.

"Fuck this is weird," Cora suddenly exclaimed. "Two boys changed into girls and looking at each other's porn collection!"

"You wanna stop?" Erica asked.

"No," Cora said. "Let's see what you got."

Cora was shifting on her chair even more before long, and Erica's breath was getting hard to regulate. Eventually she stopped trying, and she grabbed Cora's face and kissed her. If they went much further they'd get into the gay male porn anyway, and she did not want to have to explain that to Cora tonight.

They practically tore off each other's clothes on the way to the bed, and grappled with fingers and tongues and toes for quite a while.

Later, in the afterglow, Cora squinted at Erica and asked, "So, did you learn what you wanted about me?"

"It was that obvious, huh?" Erica sighed.

"Yeah." Then she shrugged. "So go ahead and tell your Mom and them whatever you want."

Erica froze. "I'm not being a spy for them." A Cora's sardonic smile, she went on. "I'm serious! I wouldn't tell them anything unless I thought it would wind up helping you. I swear!"

"I know." Erica was oddly relieved to hear Cora say that with casual certainty. "But I figured I could learn something about you, too." She grinned. "And I did."

"Like what?"

"I think you were a lesbian even before you were a girl."

Erica propped herself up on one elbow, half-annoyed, half-puzzled. "What the fuck does that mean?"

Cora didn't exactly back down, but she clearly realized she needed to speak carefully. "Did you, like, delete a bunch after you were changed?"

Erica frowned. "No..." She kept quiet about the ones she'd added.

"Your stuff was almost all girls. Barely even any parts of guys. And it was all... I dunno. Not romantic, exactly, but it sure as shit wasn't, like, nasty."

Erica just looked at Cora for a beat. "What exactly do you think is 'nasty'?"

Cora bit her lip. "Well... you know. Like, bukkake, I think it's called. Cum on face. Or even with the lesbians. Even that one with the one girl shoving that big dildo in the other one's ass, she wasn't being, I dunno, mean about it. They were, like, both having fun."

Erica was silent for a while. "I think what you meant was, there wasn't, like, a power imbalance."

Cora weighed that for a second, and nodded. "Maybe you're right."

"Do you think a guy has to have power over a girl?"

Cora frowned. She didn't seem annoyed, just concentrating. Finally she said, "I dunno. Never thought about it like that." A brief silence. Then she looked at Erica. "You saw my porn. What do you think?"

Erica had to ponder that for a few moments. "Well... maybe you weren't as, uh, respectful as me. But you weren't into rape and shit."

Cora shrugged. "Should be fun for everybody, or what's the point?"

Erica spoke slowly. "You, uh, didn't keep any of the guy stuff. But the ones I saw, well... it did kinda look like the man was, uh, kinda taking charge." She thought about Cora's style when she went down on Erica. She hesitated... but it was important. "Was that what you were like? When you were with girls?"

Cora stiffened. But after a moment, she settled down. "Sorta." Defensively: "I didn't force anybody. Ever. I mean it."

"I didn't say that! I swear, that wasn't what I was thinking!"

Cora squinted for a second, then calmed down further. "Good." Another pause. "I guess I did like to, uh, 'take charge', like you said. It felt good to, y'know... make a girl come."

Cora seemed willing to talk; Erica couldn't waste the chance. "And blowjobs?"

Cora's jaw clamped. But she spoke. "I wasn't... Look, I wasn't, like, degrading anybody."

Erica shifted closer. "I didn't say that," she said reassuringly.

Cora looked away... but didn't pull away. After a beat, she said, "I guess, yeah, I kinda got off on, like, the... power or whatever."

Erica said, carefully, "But going down on a girl wasn't, like, submission?"

Cora kept looking away.

It was time to back off. Gently, Erica said, "Thanks for, y'know, trusting me. Letting me see that stuff."

After a beat, Cora met her eyes again and smiled, a little sardonically. "It was an easy trade. Especially when it wasn't secret anymore anyway."

"Hey, I wouldn't peek unless you said!"

"I wasn't talking about you," Cora said, as if to a child. "Jacqui made that disc image. You think she didn't make one for herself? You think she isn't going over every byte of it right now?"

"Oh," Erica said, feeling stupid.

~~~~~

At the next Skype conference, Erica told the Sisters what Cora had deduced about her computer privacy.

"Shit." The uncouth oath was a mark of just how irritated Jacqui was. "She's too smart. I was wondering why there was hardly anything personal on her new laptop."

"Did you find anything useful in the files?" Miranda asked. The hope in her voice reminded Erica of Cora asking if they were done with shopping.

"I'm not sure." Jacqui's frustration was evident in her scowl. "I was able to track down a few things from the browser histories and such." She paused. "If he'd been the child of a Sister, I'd have been worried."

"What do you mean?" Erica asked, afraid she already knew what Jacqui meant.

"Looks to me like he was a classic na-raoithloch," Jacqui said, lapsing into the language of the Sisters.

"Uh... what?" Erica said.

"Sorry, I keep forgetting you're a Novice. It's sort of an old Sisterhood slang term."

Miranda pounced on an opportunity for a pop quiz. "Can you figure out what it means, dear?"

Erica puzzled at it, thinking aloud, trying to recall her lessons. "Well, raoithloch has gotta be a masculine noun. Um... active masculine. But na- means, um, like, 'of women'. So, uh... a guy who... does something to women?"

"Very good, Erica," Laurie said. "You wouldn't have learned raoithloch in your lessons yet. It means something like 'hunter'."

"More precisely, 'tracker', so it's 'tracker of women'," Bronwyn interjected. The author in her prized correct terminology.

"Like, a serial killer?" Erica asked doubtfully.

Bronwyn sat up straight. Jacqui had finally set up the woman's webcam, so Erica could watch her shift into 'teacher mode'. "No, no, it's slang. Not meant to be literal." She paused, searching for words. "Think of hunter-gatherers. The women gather the plants, care for the children. The men go hunt. But there's still specialization. Some men become trackers. They study animals, what their tracks look like, their droppings. Where they eat, drink, sleep. So the hunters can find prey."

"That's even worse!" Erica interjected.

Bronwyn laughed. "Let me finish. For Sisters, in this context, it's not about the hunting part. It's a word like déjà vu, it doesn't translate to one word in English. I suppose you could put it as, 'The kind of guy who studies women like they're another species.'"

"Ohhhh..." Erica murmured, the lightbulb going off.

"Yeah," Jacqui agreed. "A lot of guys - especially boys - think women are so different that men can't understand them. Half the time they're a little proud they can't understand girls."

"A na-raoithloch isn't necessarily a bad man." Laurie noted, chuckling a little. "If you train them right, they can make excellent boyfriend or even husband material." Then she went on, more soberly. "But they make terrible prospects for Sisterhood. A boy who can't or won't imagine a girl's mindset is just going to have trouble taking on that mindset for themselves."

Everyone was quiet for a stretch. Then Erica tentatively spoke up. "If you've got a word for it... do you have ways of, like, dealing with it?"

Miranda looked sad. "Not... after the fact. Sisters try to make sure their boys don't grow up that way. If it looks like a problem, they make sure their sons get some experience trying to understand girls."

Erica bit her lower lip, recalling little incidents from the past. Miranda refusing to help Eric pick out presents for female classmates. That time she'd dragged Eric along when her friend's daughter had picked out her wedding dress - because she 'couldn't find a babysitter'. Eric had been regularly asked for his opinion on fabric and trains and...

Whatever, she thought, putting that aside. The problem right now was how to help Cora. "So... what do we do?"

"For now... what we've been doing." Jacqui's tone didn't reassure Erica very much. Her worried expression, even less.

~~~~~

Erica walked in the door. "I'm home!" she called out. At last, finals were over. She was a little worried about her grade in Spanish. Having to learn the language of the Sisters at the same time was stressing the language center of her brain. Nothing more to do about it now, though.

"We're in here!" Miranda called from the living room. Erica peeked in from the hall.

She immediately recognized what was going on. Skirt practice. The hem on Cora's loose, light dress was only halfway down the thigh. Wearing something like that required particular skills if you didn't want to flash your panties while sitting or standing or picking something up off the floor. Not to mention the way you had to sit to keep it from wrinkling, and getting out of a car in one was a special trick, and heels upped the degree of difficulty...

Invariably, toward the end of these sessions, the participants became rather frazzled. She could see the slow burn on Cora's face. Miranda seized the opportunity and said, "That's enough for today, I suppose. Why don't you go help Erica decompress?"

Cora sighed with relief, and the girls went upstairs together. Miranda was careful to wait until they were out of earshot before she released her own equally-sincere sigh.

The girls went into Erica's room. Cora flopped onto the bed and watched Erica disrobe. Her skirt had flipped up but Erica wisely refrained from pointing that out.

"In the movies, somebody switches bodies and they don't have any trouble. Five minutes and they can do anything they could before."

"Yeah, it took me a while to, I dunno, 'recalibrate'." She paused, but it was true: "Cheerleading practice helped a lot."

Cora ignored her. "I don't even know what this body can do. I tried to open a jar of salsa today and I just couldn't do it. I had to get your mom to help."

Erica finished changing into sweats. She liked the way she looked in tight jeans, but it still felt good to finally peel them off. "I think we've still got some exercise stuff downstairs. I guess we could, y'know, 'run some tests'."

Cora's eyes showed a little enthusiasm. "Hey, yeah, let's do that!"

Erica followed Cora into her room, where she got out a t-shirt and shorts. "I can't get used to the buttons on the wrong side," she muttered as she undid her blouse.

Once changed, they went down into the basement, and got the weight bench away from the wall. Erica spotted as they set up the bar.

Sadly, Cora was discouraged in short order. "Jesus," she moaned. "Not even fifty pounds? That's horrible!"

"Well, I mean, it's not that bad..." For a petite girl, Erica left unspoken.

"I used to could bench four times that!" At the other girl's frown, she backed off slightly. "Right around that, anyway. But still!"

"Look, that's upper body. Girls just aren't the same as boys there," Erica said. "Let's try some squats. Girls have a lot more strength in their legs."

Cora was just too tiny, however. Her leg strength was excellent... for a small female. That still was nothing like even an average-sized high-school boy, let alone one that had gone out for a sport like track.

~~~~~

Even as Erica and Cora were performing their evaluations, Miranda was giving evaluations to the leadership of the Sisterhood.

"It's so much harder than with Erica," she said. "Even accounting for the fact that she hates me, she's learning very slowly. She's smart enough, but she just doesn't want to learn."

"Well, that's not exactly a surprise," Jacqui noted.

"It's easy for you to say that! You don't have to spend all day with her... her unending hostility."

"We know it's difficult," Bronwyn said in placation. "We'll help as much as we can, but Cora isn't going to respond well to any of us for a while yet."

"Erica will be home now that school's over. That will help some. A little." Miranda couldn't keep the doubt from her tone.

"Are they getting along together?" Laurie asked. "If Cora has no one to turn to..."

"Erica's been an angel about all of this. She feels so responsible, even though it wasn't her fault. I think Cora would have killed me by now, if it weren't for her." She sighed, then. "But Erica's taken a giant step backward," Miranda lamented. "She's no longer as sure of her womanhood, and it shows in her Magic."

"That should settle out, with time," Bronwyn said. "She's had rather a large shock."

"I think she's starting to trust me again, but that's been difficult, too. I'm so worried she'll... that she won't want to be a Sister."

"Don't get worked up about that," Jacqui said. "She was doing so well before. You could see how happy she was. Even this, I don't think, can totally derail that."

"Goddess, I hope not."

~~~~~

Erica heard Cora take a deep breath as they stepped into the mall.

It was just the two of them. The ostensible goal of the trip was to get Cora that modern accessory no one - especially no girl - could live without: a cell phone.

There were at least two other purposes, however. First, Cora had been growing increasingly restive, confined to the Jardin home. Being anywhere else would help her spirits immensely. Second, it was a chance to evaluate how Cora's feminine demeanor held up in public. Erica had a clear impression that Cora was fully aware of both reasons.

She could see that Cora was having second thoughts. The girl had been desperate to get going, but over the course of the drive, she'd become increasingly quiet and nervous.

Her eyes darted wildly as they walked to the escalator and rode it up. "Feels so weird, walking around dressed like this." Miranda had insisted on a casual, floral patterned dress, primarily white and dark blue, and white stockings. Cora had put her foot down - so to speak - when it came to heels, though. Miranda, knowing how much trouble Cora had with them, yielded the point. Cora wore flat - but open-toed - pumps. "It's not just skirts. Girl's clothes are all... thin, like pajamas or something."

"You get used to it," Erica said with a shrug.

"And I feel like a clown with all this gunk on my face."

Fighting a sigh, Erica said, neutrally, "That takes time to get used to, too."

"I can't even rub my eyes. It'd get all smeared."

Erica herself - at first - had often bemoaned the inconveniences of a painted face. But she'd gotten over it, learned how to deal. "You get used to it," she repeated.

Once they actually got to the store, Cora came out of her shell a little. Comparing specifications and options was familiar ground. She looked doubtful when Erica urged her to get the unlimited texting plan, but didn't fight over it.

A sales type appeared next to them. "Hi, I'm Nick. Can I help you ladies?"

He was about their age, and Erica saw trouble brewing long before Cora did. The way he kept staring at the girl indicated he was thinking about more than a commission.

For her part, Cora wouldn't meet his eyes. "Yeah. I think I want this one."

"Good choice. Android's really hot right now." He was smiling a lot. "Looks good with you. You should be a model." He waved at a placard with a cheerful girl holding a phone. "That'd sure look better with you up there."

Erica felt very strange about it. Cora was cute, sure... but Erica herself wasn't so bad. Why didn't he even try to hit on her? Was she really jealous of the attention paid to another girl?

Cora, flustered, stammered something unintelligible and looked away.

With rather more enthusiasm than the situation warranted, he took her through the service contract. "I put my number on the slip there. Call me if you need anything, I'll hook you up." He smiled and struck. "Heck, call me if you don't. You doing anything tonight?"

Cora was stunned mute.

After an awkward pause, Erica stepped in. "Sorry, we're just looking for a phone."

"That's too bad," Nick replied. "Well, if anything comes up, hang onto that number." The girls made a hasty retreat with the new phone.

Cora took a minute to speak again. "What the fuck? I didn't go in there to get fucking hit on!" She paused, suddenly doubtful. "I didn't, like, lead him on or some shit, did I?"

"No, no, that was all him," Erica said. "Some guys just... don't care, I guess."

"Whatever," Cora said. "Let's get out of here."

"No, wait, let's at least get a smoothie or something," Erica said, trying to lead Cora toward the food court. She had a feeling that Cora shouldn't be allowed to retreat the first time something unexpected happened.

She bristled. "I just want out of here."

"Come on, that's what you were saying about my house. It's just a frickin' smoothie."

Cora sniffed, sullen. "Okay, whatever. But then we're gone, got it?"

"Deal," Erica said firmly. She'd picked the time and place carefully. She was skipping out on a mid-vacation cheerleading practice, so she wouldn't have to see that set of girls. And neither Linda nor Kristina had a car, so they probably wouldn't be around either. She was not ready to introduce Cora to anybody yet.

Aside from forcing Cora 'back on the horse', the interlude in the food court was useful. It pointed out some definite problem areas in Cora's deportment, for one. Unless she was thinking about it, she tended to drift into boyish postures. She smeared her lipstick on the straw rather more than she needed to. And her body language was all over the place - by turns timid, furious, and indifferent.

For another, Cora wasn't as newly overwhelmed as when they'd gone to start up her wardrobe. She was more able to process the different ways people reacted to her.

"God, guys never let up, do they? They keep looking." As Erica opened her mouth, she snapped, "Don't say, 'You get used to it'."

In a corner of her mind, Erica thought, You even get to like it sometimes, but held her tongue.

The smoothie finished, they walked back out to the parking lot. Erica noticed Cora gazing with dread at various clothing and jewelry stores on the way out. Anticipating battles to come.

In the car, the girls were quiet for a time. But as they pulled onto the freeway, Cora spoke up. "I still can't believe all this. I feel like... like a ghost. Looking in from outside. No connection, you know?"

"Kinda. It's a big jump."

Cora shook her head in disbelief. Then she gave Erica a glance. "I'd been thinking about joining the Marines, you know. After graduation."

Erica's eyes widened. "Seriously? What about college?"

"That was the thing. I couldn't decide if I should go to college before or after." She shrugged. "Guess it's 'before' now. Can you imagine me showing up at the recruiting office like this?" She sneered, and lowered the pitch of her voice as far as she was able. "'Run along, little girl. This is man's work.'"

"Not if he didn't want to get sued."

"But he'd be thinking it," Cora said with certainty.

Erica didn't say anything. She figured Cora was probably right.

Cora broke the silence. "I woke up this morning, and realized it's been nine days. I've been a girl for nine days."

Unsure, Erica said no more than, "Uh... yeah?"

"It just kinda hit me. Right after, I couldn't really believe it. I mean, seriously? I'm a girl all of a sudden? I sorta expected... hoped... it couldn't be real, y'know?" She shook her head. "Shit like this doesn't happen, you know. How could it?"

"I guess..." Erica shrugged helplessly. "I don't understand," she admitted.

Cora sniffed. "Maybe not," she said, sounding unsurprised. She shrugged. "I guess I couldn't... internalize what it really meant. That I'd be a girl for, y'know, the foreseeable future." She looked at Erica. "Now, I can, sort of. I mean, it's not just going away."

"And?" She felt like a psychiatrist, leading a patient on. Except she didn't have any training. Or clue.

"Not even two weeks and I've never been so fucking depressed in my life." She took a deep breath. "All these 'girl classes' and having to watch my own thoughts and be someone I'm not and... and..." She trailed off.

At last, something concrete. "Look, it doesn't stay like this, I promise! It gets easier. You know what it's like when you start a new class, or a new job." Cora didn't look convinced. "It gets better. I swear. Easier, for sure."

"Not so far."

"You've gotta learn stuff birth-girls have their whole lives to learn. But you can do it."

"There's so much! All these clothes, and which colors go with what, and all that shit."

"Stuff," Erica corrected automatically. Cora glared a bit, but she hurried on. "Look, you know Leesa, right? Leesa Bronson?"

"Yeah, so?"

"She gets her clothes right for school every day, right?"

"I guess so..."

"How much smarter than her are you?"

Cora looked pensive. "If she can do it, I can do it, huh?"

"You got it." Erica was pleased. If it took turning into her Mother to help Cora, she'd do it.

Her pleasure was short-lived. "But she was born to it," Cora persisted, stubbornly. "I mean, she's a girl, always been."

Erica frowned. "And you're not a girl?"

Cora looked down at the dashboard. "Okay, fine, I'm a girl. Now."

Erica paused a beat. It wasn't just anger that made her say, "No, you're not."

Cora's head jerked up and she stared at Erica. "What?"

"That's what you want to hear, right?"

"I don't... What do you mean?" She looked very confused.

"You don't want to be a girl, I get that. But why not?"

Cora looked puzzled, suspicious. "I... it's just not me. I was forced into this..."

"All kicking and screaming, yeah yeah yeah. I got that. So... why is it so disgusting to you?"

"It's... it's not disgusting, it's... just..."

"Are girls, like, less human than boys? Worth less? Stupider? Inferior?"

Cora's eyes were wide. "No, I never said that!"

"What's the difference, then?"

"I... I dunno. They... want different things."

"Is that it? Then being a girl isn't so bad. Different, but not inferior. You should be able to handle it for a while." She looked Cora straight in the eye. "If you really believe that. Or at least decide to try."

Neither girl spoke the rest of the way home.

~~~~~

"That should do it," Cora said, saving a file on her laptop. "Shouldn't ever get below thirty frames per second now."

"Good. I'll email it all to Scotty and Josh to look over, and then we can send it in." Erica began archiving their project, the semester final.

"It was nice of Mr. Yigal to give you an extension," Cora said. Erica's team had been given some extra time after the end of the term to finish up their last project.

"Well, with you gone, he figured it'd be fair." Erica shrugged. "I guess it's kinda cheating to have you still here to help?" she said uncertainly.

"Um... neither of us have exactly been at a hundred percent. You've been kinda busy, I know."

Erica blinked, almost stunned to get even a partial acknowledgement that the situation affected more than just Cora. "Well, thanks for the help."

"No prob. I mean, it's nice to see that project running anyway."

Cora stretched and then shut down her laptop. She got up and paced aimlessly around the room for a few minutes, waiting for Erica to finish her email. As soon as Erica had shut down her laptop, Cora was kissing her.

The girls had sex every night before bed. They hadn't really talked about it. It had just developed that way. Erica didn't mind; it was hardly unenjoyable. Cora had to release her tension somehow, and afterward, she was as close to relaxed as she ever got.

In terms of variety, what they did wasn't terribly imaginative. Lots of oral, by turns or in a 69. And Erica noticed Cora never looked at her own body. She'd focus on Erica, or close her eyes. Especially when Erica did anything to her breasts.

~~~~~

"I'm sorry, Linda," Erica said into her phone. "It's just that I've been so busy. I told you my cousin's moved in. I'm kinda trying to get her adjusted here."

She listened. "Soon. You can meet her soon. She's sorta moody right now, she didn't want to come here, and..."

Another pause. "Okay. Love you, see you later!" Erica hung up and let out a deep sigh.

She hated lying to her friends. And she missed them. She missed talking with them, laughing with them, sharing with them, hanging with them. She'd come to need 'girl time', and she certainly didn't get that with Cora.

~~~~~

The girls were in Erica's room, gaming on her console. They were aware that Miranda frowned on it, regarding it as unfeminine - particularly the military simulation they were playing. Erica had decided to do it anyway, hoping it'd help her friend blow off steam. She was beginning to think she'd made a mistake, though.

"Ahh! Fuck! I'm better than this!" Cora growled as she died for the third time that round.

"I know, just chill a little." Erica tried to reassure her. "Same thing happened to me. The reflexes are in here," and she flicked the controller to indicate her head, "but they're trying to run smaller hands. The buttons aren't where you think they are." She dodged incoming rocket fire. "Just give it a little time. It's like getting used to a new controller."

"I'm getting used to a new everything."

"It'll get better. A little practice, that's all."

Just then Cora's avatar was blown to fragments by a missile strike. In a rage, she hit the button on her mic and bellowed, "Okay, fucker, I'm coming for you now!" At least, it was apparently intended as a bellow. Her high-pitched voice didn't carry the effect well.

"Wait, don't..." Erica blurted, but the damage was done.

A babble of overlapping voices clogged the channel. "Holy shit, the newb's a girl!" "Whoa, who was that?" "Hey, Vasquez1986 is a chick!"

Erica despaired. Just having an identifiably girlish handle could bring troubles online. On Erica's advice they'd chosen neutral names and male avatars, but now Cora's cover was blown. The sharks had scented blood.

Cora was staring openmouthed at Erica. Her freshly-spawned avatar died again, unseen.

"Hey, babe, where you at?" More overlapping voices. "You got a webcam?" Little tones chimed as a set of 'friend requests' appeared in Cora's inbox.

Cora turned back to the game and resumed control, keeping silent. She fought for a while longer. It quickly proved futile, however. She was now actively targeted by several players, and seldom lasted more than a few seconds after spawning before someone or another would blow her away.

"Bitches just can't game," came over the channel.

Cora lost control again, let out another outburst. "Get your asshole friends off my back and try saying that again!" Erica's heart sank. Should she abort the game, or would that make it worse?

"Geez, PMS much?" He sounded so tickled. "Wait, are you even old enough to bleed?"

That decided her. Erica shut down the console, though it made Cora sputter incoherently for a moment. Then the girl just sat there, looking away, breathing hard, hunched over in fury.

"I'm sorry," Erica said, laying a hand on her upper arm. "You think guys on the street are bad, the real assholes are online."

Cora fumed. "I know. I saw it sometimes. But..."

"Feels different when its happening to you, huh?"

"It sucks."

~~~~~

Usually Cora would sleep in a nightshirt and shorts. Occasionally they'd set out something slinkier like the panty-and-teddy sets Erica was partial to, and she didn't fight them about it. But no matter what she slept in, when she came out of her bedroom she always wore a thick bathrobe over it, hiding her figure.

It only came off when it was time to dress for the day. And it was almost always a dress. She was only permitted jeans - skin-tight ones - once or twice a week.

They hadn't gotten as far as the dress yet, though. "Uhhhh... errrr... mmmmmph... FUCK!" Cora screamed, ripping off the bra and hurling it across the bedroom.

Erica sympathized with the general emotion, even if she'd never gotten quite that worked-up over it. Hooking a bra clasp behind your back wasn't an easy trick to master. "Hey, chill out, it's okay. I'll help," she said, walking over to retrieve the huddled cloth from the floor.

"Shit, I thought they were hard to get off," Cora muttered.

Erica stood behind Cora and reached over her shoulders with the bra. Cora slid her arms under the shoulder straps and Erica fastened the clasp in back. Then they moved on to the dress. Erica tried not to think about what was in store when they would start on makeup.

~~~~~

The house was quiet. Erica was off at a cheerleading practice - about the only time she got out of the house these days. Mom was in the library, tackling her work backlog. Cora was up in her room, probably sulking as usual.

Haylie was a little bored and lonely. Neither her Mom nor her sister had much time for her - again. She was going to see a movie with a couple friends this afternoon, but that was hours away. There wasn't much to do besides watch TV or read or play games she'd already played. Or think.

And thinking wasn't something she was sure she wanted to do right now. She was upset. Having a big sister had started out weird, but become kinda neat and fun. Things had eased up a lot for a while, and she'd been able to just hang with both Mom and Erica in the last couple months. That had stopped cold once Cora came on the scene.

Cora was, frankly, a bitch. Crabby, nasty, mean. Haylie hated the pain and stress and fear she saw her family carrying around. But she really hated the guilt she could see in her Mom's eyes, or in Erica's slumped posture, anytime they talked about her.

The guilt troubled her. Back when Erica had been Transformed, her Mom had explained it as a wonderful gift. (To the extent she'd referred to it at all - grownups always gave frustrating half-explanations to kids about anything important.) And it had seemed that way. Erica had certainly acted pretty happy before long. Haylie had hoped - carefully, not too much - that maybe Erica wouldn't change back.

Cora, though... not so much. To her, girlhood was obviously a curse. Her Mom said there had been an 'accident'. What had happened? Why did Cora hate it so much?

For that matter, in those first weeks Erica had been like a scared little bunny rabbit. Unlike Cora, she'd been willing to try; but even Erica hadn't been exactly enthusiastic at first. Why? If the Transformation was a gift... why didn't the recipients seem to welcome it, at least at first? What did they miss about being a boy?

And why did Haylie have this weird feeling that she ought to know?

Movement. Cora coming down the stairs. Even though she was so small, she sounded heavier than Erica did. Some of Haylie's friends were bigger than Cora.

The dark-haired girl appeared in the living room, and did a quick double-take at Haylie. She seemed at a loss.

"Hey," Haylie said into the awkward silence.

"Hey," Cora replied cautiously.

A few moments elapsed, and Haylie tried again. "Are you looking for something? Can I help?" Her Mom had always taught her to be gracious to guests.

Cora stared a second longer, and shrugged. "I was just looking for a snack."

"Come on, I'll show you where everything is," Haylie said, getting up and leading her into the kitchen.

Cora decided to forego the fruit and nuked a small personal pizza. Haylie didn't say anything; Miranda discouraged unhealthy snacks. Suddenly Cora looked at her. "How old are you?"

Haylie blinked. "Eleven."

Cora looked her over and pursed her lips. Haylie finally realized that Cora was upset that they were nearly eye-to-eye. "I'm a little tall for my age," she said, not quite truthfully. Cora just frowned and watched the numbers count down on the microwave.

"Do you have any brothers or sisters?" Haylie asked, trying to make conversation.

Cora shook her head. "Nah. My mom can't have kids, and adoption costs a lot."

"Oh." Haylie squinted back. "I was adopted, too."

Cora's eyes widened in surprise. "No shit?" She caught herself. "Sorry, I mean... uh... really?"

Haylie giggled. "Yeah. Really."

Cora looked chagrined for a beat, then smiled, too. "I guess you can tell I don't have any little sisters, huh?"

Haylie nodded solemnly. But she kept grinning.

The microwave beeped. Cora was startled. The moment was lost; Haylie saw the girl's nascent good humor evaporate. She retrieved her food and retreated toward the stairs. "Thanks," she called back.

"You're welcome," Haylie said quietly. She stood in the kitchen for several minutes afterward, thinking.

~~~~~

"Mom? I got a text from Trahn. They're going out dancing tonight, and she invited me. Think I should go?"

"Cora's not ready for anything like that."

Erica spoke carefully. "I know, but, y'know, it'd look really weird if I totally stopped doing anything social."

Miranda snickered. "Young lady, don't lie to me. I can see that's not the real reason you want to go."

Erica suddenly looked guilty.

But Miranda sighed. "However... your excuse is valid anyway. And you deserve a break from shepherding Cora every waking minute."

Erica looked, if anything, more guilty. But she didn't change her mind and stay.

~~~~~

There were some clubs that allowed the high-school set, at least earlier in the evening on weekdays. Trahn, Melanie, Shianti, and Erica were safely in one, sitting at a table and hydrating before they went out on the floor.

Erica couldn't help venting a little. She had to tone down and translate Cora's behavior somewhat, naturally. Still, she couldn't keep it all in or she'd explode! Besides, Cora would be going to school with these girls in a few weeks; some groundwork had to be laid down to help explain her quirks.

"...and, like, I've tried to help her find some nice outfits but she dresses like, like a Mormon or something."

"Sucks to be you. She sounds like a mega-bitch," Melanie said.

That brought Erica up short. "She's not really, like, a total bitch or anything. I mean, I understand why she's upset. She's been through a lot. Her parents gone, she has to move away from all her friends and go live with people she hardly met."

"I'd be pretty fuckin' depressed if I had to move away from all of you," Shianti said.

All the girls talked over each other, affirming how important they were to each other. When the outpouring of emotion settled down, Erica wrapped up. "I just wish she'd chill, y'know?" She smiled. "I think there are some pretty awesome friends around here."

"You know it, girlfriend!" Trahn exclaimed.

A pounding beat increased in volume as one song faded into another. "Ooh, I love this one!" Melanie cried. "Let's roll!" The girls jumped up and made towards the speakers.

So Erica danced. Just listening to the music, moving her body. She was pretty sure her and her friends were the cutest girls there. And even if they weren't, she felt like it - pretty, sexy, attractive. And it was a nice feeling. The boys who came to dance with them sure seemed to agree. A couple of them were real hotties, too. Flirting was fun sometimes, even if you didn't mean anything by it.

Dancing close was fun, too.

~~~~~

Erica got home before midnight. Once the club kicked out the underage patrons and started serving alcohol, there wasn't much point in staying out. She let herself in and crept quietly upstairs. She peeked in to see her Mother settling herself down for sleep. "'Night, Mom!" she called softly.

"Good night, sweetie. I hope you had fun," Miranda said.

"I did, thanks." She hesitated just a moment. "How was Cora?"

Miranda hesitated, too. Then: "Tolerable. You might check in on her."

"Okay, Mom. Sleep good!"

"You too, punkin."

Erica moved down the hall past her room. She could see faint light leaking from under Cora's door. She knocked gently.

"Come in," she heard. The voice was muffled by the door, but audible. The silence spell had been placed on Cora's room, too - but it had a loophole for sounds that were intended to carry.

She walked in, and saw Cora laying on her bed, laptop propped on her knees. When she came around, Cora was reading an article about sex hormones. Research was one of Cora's ways of coping since the Transformation.

"Didja have fun?" Cora asked, without a great deal of emotion - but at least without much rancor, either.

"Yeah," Erica said. "Getting dressed up and going out dancing can be fun, with the right attitude."

"Something wrong with my attitude?" Cora said, eyes narrowed.

Well, it was a risky thing to say, Erica admitted to herself. "No, but if you wanna Transition you gotta try to find something good about being a girl."

Cora scoffed. "What do you expect? I'm gonna sing with joy? 'California Gurlz, we're undeniable! Fine, fresh, fierce, we got it unlocked!'"

Erica was getting all too familiar with pangs of guilt. She'd been dancing to that very song earlier, thinking it fit her and her friends perfectly. She attempted a redirect. "Hey, that was pretty good. Did you, like, sing before?"

Cora shrugged. "In choir, back when my mom and dad still made me go to church. I got a couple solos."

"Do you maybe want to go out and do some karaoke sometime? We could go somewhere nobody knew us..."

Cora was shaking her head. "And get hit on by a bunch of horny guys? No thanks."

"Well, if you think of somewhere you do want to go, let me know."

Cora just rolled her eyes. Erica sat down on the bed. Before long, the laptop was shoved aside and they were kissing. At first, Erica had to pretend a little, doing it more out of duty and guilt than real passion. By the time Cora undressed her, though, she had worked up some honest enthusiasm.

~~~~~

The Jardins and Cora stood in the backyard, hand in hand, circling the fire that burned in a small stone altar. Miranda chanted the Solstice prayer in the ancient language of the Sisters. Cora listened curiously. Erica had witnessed such rituals all her life; even participated when she... er, he... had been younger. It was far more powerful and moving this time. Any religion that could produce miracles on demand was going to be pretty convincing.

The ceremony wrapped up. Cora mouthed the unfamiliar responsorial she'd learned only today, along with the other girls, and all four dropped hands.

"Cora, I know you didn't follow what I was saying there. In English, I basically thanked the Goddess for turning the sun back to us, for the coming spring, and for the Light we always have with us." Miranda was silently grateful for the Californian tolerance that let them practice their religion mostly openly. Her own Grandmother had told stories of having to spend hours at church on Sundays.

"So... what now? No dancing naked or anything, right?" Cora asked dubiously.

"No, nothing like that," Miranda said, choosing to be amused rather than insulted. "The ritual is the important thing. American Sisters usually exchange presents, but that's a bit of a local custom."

"Huh. Like Hannukah," Cora mused. "I heard it's not quite so big for most Jews. But around here it's got to compete with Christmas."

"Just so," Miranda agreed. Then, gently, "We had planned to wait to exchange presents on Christmas this year, in your honor."

Cora looked at her, nonplussed. "Well, that's a nice thought, I guess, but I didn't really believe, you know, religiously. And it's not like I got anything for anybody."

"Don't worry, we didn't expect anything."

Silence for a moment as all the women considered the unlikelihood of Cora ever buying a present for Miranda. They all made their way toward the house.

Cora was still curious, though. "It just seems so... simple. There's no more to it?"

Miranda shrugged. "I suppose male-dominated religions tend to accumulate ceremonies and traditions. But the religion of the Goddess has been mostly secret for thousands of years. There's not much room for elaborate observances in that situation." She watched Cora nod thoughtfully. "There is a tradition that the Goddess is most likely to grant prayers made on the night of a Solstice. It's not strictly part of the theology or anything, though."

"Huh. How do you pray to the Goddess?" Cora asked, waiting for Erica to slide open the glass door.

"Much like any other religion, I suppose. Silently, in your heart. Or out loud." Miranda smiled. "Of course, spells are another kind of prayer. The kind that are always answered."

"When do I start learning Magic?" Cora asked pointedly.

"Soon. We've a pretty full plate as it is, don't you think?"

Cora peered narrowly at Miranda, then muttered, "I'm going up to my room."

Erica watched to make sure Cora was on her way upstairs. Then she waited a bit longer, to be sure she wasn't coming back down. Satisfied, Erica walked quickly to the kitchen and braced her Mother, who had started washing dishes in the sink. "I just realized something. Cora was Transformed on the tenth." She paused. "I got my period two weeks after my Transformation..." Her voice trailed off.

Miranda nodded sadly. "I'm afraid you're right. Not every girl has the same cycle, but Sisters tend to be very regular. Cora is probably going to have a difficult Christmas."

"Well, crap," Erica said, shoulders sagging.

"There's something else," Miranda said softly. Erica looked her in the eyes, concerned. "By the Goddess's blessing, you've been spared any real PMS. I don't think Cora will prove to be so lucky," she almost whispered.

Erica's jaw dropped in horror. "Oh, Goddess, I figured her First Flow would be bad enough." She floundered. "Love of the Goddess, she's going to be even bitchier?"

"I have not spied on her mind, but I felt the signs in her body when we clasped hands in the ritual."

"Should we warn her? Would that help?"

Miranda shook her head. "I don't think so." She shrugged, and said with black humor, "I suggest we pray very hard she's a bit late, and hope the tradition about the Goddess granting Solstice prayers is correct."

~~~~~

The next day Cora woke in an even fouler mood than usual. She grumbled through her morning hairbrushing. She sulked through breakfast. She snarked through morning posture and grace lessons. She growled through lunch. She swore through afternoon makeup lessons.

Miranda ended classes early. Cora displayed no gratitude, however, and simply washed off her face and planted herself in front of the TV, where she remained for an hour, watching ESPN. Things came to a head when Haylie asked to watch "iCarly".

"Go watch it somewhere else," Cora snarled, not even looking her way.

"Hey, you don't own the TV! I get a turn, too!"

"Not unless you want to fight me for it."

"Hey, come on, Cora, give her a break..." Erica began.

"Fuck you."

"Hey!" Erica cried, startled. "I know this isn't fun for you, but we're all trying to help you. You could at least..."

"Fuck you."

"We all live here too, you know," Erica said deliberately, trying to remain calm. "We've made a lot of adjustments. We had plans, too."

"Yeah, because of you, we don't even get to go to the spa!" Haylie wailed.

Cora whirled on her, a predator lunging at prey. "Who gives a fuck? My whole life is screwed up! You think I give a shit about your stupid spa?"

"Stop it." It wasn't a yell, but Cora's eyes slewed to Erica, startled. She'd never heard that tone from her before. Angry, dangerous.

Erica leaned in close. Her tone stayed the same. "Be pissed at me. Be pissed at Mom. I understand that, we've got it coming. Some of it, anyway." She glared hard. "But leave Haylie the fuck out of this, got it? She didn't do shit to you, she's got nothing to do with this, and she's been pretty freakin' great about it anyway."

Cora reared back, eyes wide in shock. Her face started creeping back to its usual stubborn frown. Then it shifted, to a considering frown. Her eyes moved to stare down at the coffee table. All at once she looked back up. "You're right," she said to Erica. Turning to Haylie, she said, "I apologize. I shouldn't have taken that out on you."

She tossed the remote to Haylie. Then she stood, gave Erica a meaningful look, and said, "But I don't have to stay here with you." She marched upstairs, and they heard her door slam closed.

~~~~~

An hour should be long enough, Erica thought, gently knocking on Cora's door. After a beat, the door was pulled open a crack. "Go away."

"Come on. Let's just talk. I know you're upset, but yelling at me won't fix anything." It didn't even occur to her to press for an apology.

Another beat. "Fine. Whatever." Cora backed away. Erica pushed the door open a ways and slipped in.

"Feeling any better?" she asked diffidently.

"Yes. No. I don't know." Cora was pacing.

"What's wrong?" At Cora's pained glance, she quickly amended, "Or what's most wrong, right now?"

"It's... it's everything. I'm so tense, it feels like I'm gonna explode." She frowned. "No, it's like lightning. I've got this, this charge built up! And anything happens, out comes the lightning."

Erica said, soothingly, "I know it's been rough." But she was thinking that Cora sounded like she was describing PMS. Kristina had admitted once that she got it bad just before her period. 'It's like I need to be angry, then,' she'd said.

Add in a real reason to be mad, and it'd probably look a lot like this afternoon, she thought to herself. It made it easier to forgive Cora.

"I feel like somebody gave me a shot of adrenaline, y'know?" Cora got up and paced. "I wanna punch something. I wanna take an ax and chop something up." She stopped, facing away, fists curled. "And I can't!"

Erica got up and gently put her hands on Cora's shoulders. "Well, there's another way to let off some steam," she said slyly.

Cora didn't say anything, but she didn't shrug off Erica's hands. Erica stepped forward, pressing against Cora's back, and wrapped her in an easy hug.

~~~~~

Apparently the Goddess hadn't been in a prayer-granting mood on the Solstice.

Cora stalked down the stairs Christmas morning, arms wrapped around her belly... but not to hold the bathrobe closed. "My stomach feels funny. Kinda sick, kinda achy. I'm gonna need tampons today, am I right?"

Miranda raised her eyebrows slightly. Distracted by all the other pressing issues right after a Transformation, most new Sisters didn't put two and two together about menstruation. Of course, leave it to Cora to see any and all negatives, she thought wryly. "I suspect you are, though I would suggest pads for now. Would you like me to instruct you, or would you prefer Erica do it?"

Cora looked back and forth between them. "Erica."

They went upstairs, and Erica showed her the procedures and gave her the warnings. "Don't worry, I'll be joining you in about three days. We'll probably be pretty close, actually."

"Sharing this doesn't make it suck less," Cora grumbled.

~~~~~

Two hours later, Cora was back in her bed.

"Why does this hurt so much? What the fuck is going on in there?"

Erica sat on the bed, resting her hand on Cora's arm. "It's, well, your uterus. It's shedding its lining, and squeezing down."

Cora turned her face away, but Erica saw the grimace as another cramp started. She let out a soft grunt. "I know that, but... it feels like the frickin' thing is trying to climb out." A groan. "You'd think evolution would do something about it."

"I don't know. The first day is the worst, though. It'll get better."

Cora made a strange face all of a sudden. "What?" Erica asked, concerned.

She glared up. "I just felt a, a gush." Then she moaned as another cramp struck.

"Oh."

"Merry Christmas, I got you a bloody crotch." A snarl. "This isn't how I planned on spending today, you know."

"We were gonna have a big meal, and do our Solstice presents..."

"No, I mean, I had a great idea for what I was gonna get my mom. I was gonna get her a digital picture frame, and scan in all her old pictures and stuff." She sighed. "She would have loved it. And I was going in with her to get my dad a new cordless drill. His old one was dying, and never had much torque anyway. She gave me the money, and I was gonna buy it, but..." She waved her hand, indicating the whole situation.

Cora's head turned away. "Now they're gonna spend Christmas not knowing where I am." Her voice dropped to a whisper. "What I am."

"I'm sorry," Erica said, feeling very small.

~~~~~

Cora remained in bed the next three days, except for baths. Erica was pretty sure the girl was milking it. Periods could be bad, sure, but the first day or so was the worst. They got progressively easier after that. She couldn't be sure, though; every girl was different.

She wished her Healing training were coming along better; she could have sensed how Cora was really feeling, then. They came very close to giving her a potion to ease things, but in the end they decided to stick with the First Flow tradition of having the rookie Sister tough it out.

The girls read and watched movies and talked. Erica negotiated on behalf of their guest, and at least at night they got to watch some action and horror movies. Cora even made the occasional joke. "Too bad I'm so horny. The horny girls never survive in a slasher movie."

~~~~~

Erica's own period started the day Cora's wrapped up. She was far more used to the symptoms, and had Miranda's potions to help, so they resumed 'classes' right away. Cora was very attentive and engaged when Miranda began the girl's Magic lessons. It was a stark contrast to the tense resentment with which Cora approached the education in the ways of femininity.

In some ways it was gratifying, but in other ways it was frustrating. Cora kept wanting to jump ahead, or else question some foundational aspect of Miranda's teaching. Unlike in the lessons on feminine behavior, though, it was pure curiosity and analysis that drove her challenges. And the girl did indeed have a quick and subtle intellect.

"Can you Transform yourself into a younger woman?" Cora asked probingly.

"Yes, I could," Miranda replied, cautious. "But it's not time for..."

"And retain your power?" Cora seemed to be aiming for something.

"Yes, that's true. So long as she remains female, a Sister can become almost anything living." She shrugged. "Transforming into a male would give up the power, though. Forever, even if another Sister Transformed them back."

Cora pounced. "So why aren't you all immortal? Just turn into a younger version of yourself every few decades!"

"Ah, I see." Miranda shook her head sadly. "There are laws of Magic. You could think of it as karma or fate, I suppose. Attempting to live beyond one's natural lifespan has... consequences. Very undesirable ones."

Cora frowned skeptically. "Like what, exactly?"

Miranda sighed. "Terrible accidents befall Sisters who try to take more Earthly life than the Goddess has granted them. If not to them... then worse, to their loved ones."

Cora made another deduction. "So... I've lost years as a man. When I can finally turn back - someday - if I turn back to Cory at age seventeen, I'll just die early in an accident."

"That doesn't follow, dear." She waggled a finger. "The Goddess is a Goddess of life. No spell of a Sister can steal life from anyone. You were Transformed to the same age... and women have longer lifespans than men. In a sense, you've actually gained life." Miranda gave silent thanks to the Goddess that her little Haylie wouldn't suffer such a fate, either. Her 'clock' had been 'reset' the moment Jacqui had Transformed the elderly Harold into the infant Haylie.

It took Cora bare seconds to turn that into a new line of attack. "You can't kill, right?"

"We can't kill," Miranda said, including Cora with her eyes.

Cora ignored the implied inclusion in the Sisterhood. "What if you Transformed a Brother into, like, a hundred-year-old guy? Like, with a bad heart condition? Couldn't you take 'em out like that?"

"A Sister could... once. Deliberately ending a human life costs a Sister her power forever, as I've told you."

"But you wouldn't be killing him. It'd be old age," Cora insisted.

"It's the intent that matters. The intent to kill forms a link with the victim."

"Why? I drive over someone on purpose, or it's an accident, they're just as dead."

"This is Magic, not science. Spells are the mind directly interacting with reality. Can you not imagine reality reaching back?"

Almost a snarl: "A car isn't Magic."

Weary yet firm: "But like it or not, you are. Now."

Cora's jaw was set, but she squinted, considering Miranda's words. The Sister didn't give Cora time to regroup for another assault. "This is a distraction. Let's practice breathing and meditation again. In, out..."

~~~~~

Two days after her First Flow was over, Cora demanded a haircut.

Her inaugural trip to the salon was not like Erica's. Cosmetics irritated and confused her, the vocabulary of women's hairstyling frustrated rather than intrigued, and the stylist's conversation and even compliments only aggravated the situation.

Erica and Miranda managed to talk her out of a bob. She wound up with a style that at least brushed the top of her shoulders. They even talked her into frosting the ends, quietly selling it as a way to make her resemble Cory even less. It actually looked good on her - not that she appreciated that fact.

Furthermore, Miranda was able to use it as a negotiating ploy. In exchange for shorter hair, Cora sullenly agreed to study fashion magazines and romance novels the way Erica had, long ago. At least, it suddenly seemed long ago to Erica, watching Cora struggle with them.

~~~~~

Erica was walking back to her Mom's car after cheerleading practice when her cell rang. She didn't recognize the number, but it was local so she answered. "Hello?"

"Hi, uh, is this Erica?" A boy's voice, half-familiar but she couldn't quite place it.

"Yes," she said, neutral. She'd hoped she wouldn't get hit on over break.

"This is Brandon Metcalfe. I... just was wondering, have you heard from Cory at all?"

Erica suddenly wished Brandon had merely been hitting on her. "No," she said, trying to make it convincing. "We didn't really talk much" - at all, she thought - "outside class."

He sighed. "I figured, but, you know."

"Have you heard from him?" she asked.

"Nothing."

Erica felt guilty about the obvious frustration in his voice. But this was an opportunity for intel. "Where do you think he went?"

"I don't know. But he wouldn't just take off like that. Somebody did something to him."

Erica didn't know what to say to that.

After a short pause, he said, "Sorry to bother you. Let me know if you hear anything, okay?"

"Sure. Have a good break."

She stared at her phone for a while. She'd have to tell her Mom and the Sisters about this.

~~~~~

The nightly Cora Conference Call was in progress. As usual, only meager progress could be reported. The witches were disturbed by Erica's summary about Brandon, and agreed he would bear watching.

Once that was over, Erica posed some questions. "I hit up Wikipedia and stuff last

night," she began. "Trying to find things to help Cora. But all it did was confuse me more."

"What's bothering you, punkin?" Miranda asked.

"The Transformation... it seems like you're practically begging for what they call 'gender dysphoria', feeling like you're in the wrong kind of body. From what you all said, hardly any Sisters feel that way, but why not?"

Miranda looked at her sympathetically. "This is about more than Cora, isn't it?" It was almost a statement.

"Well... yeah." Erica twirled her fingers in her hair nervously, unconsciously. "I can understand why Cora's having such a hard time. But... why not me? Why didn't I fight this just as hard?"

"Does that bother you?" Miranda asked.

"I don't know. I didn't think much about it before, but with Cora..." She chewed her lower lip for a second. "Was Eric, like, less of a man or something?"

"Eric was very much a boy, punkin, I promise." Miranda's voice was warm with love. "There were moments as you grew up when I seriously wondered how your 'initiation' would go. Some boys do refuse, you know."

Bronwyn spoke up. "I can vouch for that. All those visits I made when you were growing up weren't just to see your Mother. I was also consulting with her about you. We both had our doubts a few times."

"Do you regret being Transformed?" Jacqui asked forthrightly, staring out of the laptop screen.

Put that baldly, Erica had to search her feelings for a moment. "I... no. Not really. I like being Erica, almost all the time. But... why? I mean, when I was Eric, I never wanted to be a girl or anything. I wondered sometimes what it was like, I guess, but I never wanted to be a girl. So why does this feel so right?"

"For one thing, your introduction to womanhood was much gentler," Laurie noted. "It wasn't a threat, it was an offer. You were given a choice." She chuckled. "Maybe all the consequences weren't spelled out for you, but you can't claim you were forced."

Erica chuckled ruefully herself. "No, I sure can't say that." Then, more soberly, "Not like Cora." She let out a sigh. "But even then... all that dysphoria stuff. They don't feel right in their bodies. It isn't just not liking girl stuff or boy stuff. It's not feeling, deep inside, like you are a boy, or a girl, or whatever." She looked at her Mom, and at the other Sister's faces on the screen. "I was a boy for seventeen years. I still like boy things, like shooters and action movies. But why don't I feel like a boy inside anymore?"

Jacqui answered first. "The Transformation isn't just a body thing. You know that, right?"

"I guess so..." she replied uncertainly.

"Oh, come on. A woman isn't just a man with tits and a pussy. You've learned that, right?" Erica blushed a little at the blunt language, but made an assenting sound.

Jacqui continued. "No, there are differences in the brain, too. They affect attitudes, aggressiveness, sexuality, and more. Everything that people call 'instinct'. It's not just socialization that makes men and women different. If little girls are only given trucks to play with, they play social games with 'mommy' and 'daddy' trucks. If little boys only get dolls, they turn them into rockets and guns."

"Not all of them," Erica protested.

"No, not all. Brains aren't all alike, and everybody has their own unique mix. But on average male and female brains are different. Gender dysphoria happens when the brain is too far out of sync with the body. Therapy usually doesn't work because rewiring brains on that level is hard."

The light dawned. "And for Sisters..."

"...the Transformation changes the brain, too. Your body feels right because your brain feels at home in it. Sisters usually find it natural to be a girl because, in their heart of hearts, they've become girls."

Erica would have to think about that. However... "But what about Cora? Why is it so hard for her, then?"

It was Jacqui's turn to sigh. "Instincts and tendencies are one thing. But habits and experience count for a lot. More than instinct, sometimes. A brand-new Sister is a lot like a girl who's been trained all her life to be a boy." Erica took in Jacqui's thoughtful frown. "People have free will, too. They can decide to fight their instincts. Heck, they have to, in some ways. If you killed everyone who annoyed you, you'd get locked up pretty fast." She made a face. "And there's a lot about being a girl in, y'know, a particular culture that isn't instinctive at all. There's a lot about gender that's performed. Expected socially. Instincts are no help there, not really."

Erica shook her head. "I still don't get it."

"You made a choice to try to be a girl. You decided to open yourself up to the possibility, and found your instincts supporting that choice. And you were willing to learn how to act like a girl's expected to act, at least some ways."

Another thing to reflect upon, later. Right now, Cora was the topic. "And you're saying Cora hasn't?"

"Not really, not at her core. She's fighting it. She's fighting her own hardware. It's tough, but doable." Jacqui sighed again. "Also painful."

Laurie sighed in agreement. Then she said, regretfully, "And in Cora's case... if she wins that battle, she loses the war."

~~~~~

Looking back, Erica wasn't honestly surprised at the blowup. She wasn't even surprised that the trigger was makeup practice.

Cora had managed, more or less, to reconcile herself to girl's clothes - though she avoided skirts unless ordered. Her movements were - slowly, so very slowly - softening, becoming more feminine. She'd even gotten used caring for her hair; the shorter style helped a lot.

But cosmetics remained a nonstarter. She showed no talent for applying makeup. She hated doing her face, abhorred re-doing her face, detested having her face done, loathed the process of removing makeup. She even reviled the names of the products.

Erica had stepped out of the guest room to call Linda; the first thing she heard was a loud crash. She raced to the door only to behold a disaster area. The dresser had been tipped over (for a moment Erica wondered where Cora had gotten the strength) and the mirror lay in fragments on the floor.

"Fuck this, fuck this, fuck this, fuck this, FUCK THIS!" The chant rose to a shriek as Cora grabbed up bottles and tubes and hurled them at the wall. Most bounced, some shattered, adding to the mess. There was blood leaking from one of her hands where she'd cut herself picking something up from the glass-strewn floor. She didn't seem to notice it, or the tears slicing trails in the despised substances on her cheeks.

Erica dashed forward and tackled Cora onto the bed, held her down as she screamed in now-wordless fury. The girl put up a vicious struggle but was simply too small to overpower Erica. She fought like a boy anyway, trying to use upper-body strength she no longer possessed.

"It's okay, it's okay, it's gonna be okay..." Erica crooned to no apparent effect. She looked about desperately and saw Haylie peeking, frightened, around the doorjamb. "Go get Mom!" she ordered, low and urgent. Haylie had barely turned to comply when Miranda appeared in the hall and brushed past her.

Her head jerked about as she took in the scene, saw Erica struggling. In great leaping strides she reached them both and took Cora's head in a firm grip. She chanted softly in the ancient tongue Erica was slowly learning in her Magic lessons. In bare seconds, Cora sagged limply and dropped into unconsciousness.

"Holy shit," Erica breathed, cautiously sitting up. For once Miranda didn't scold her for language.

~~~~~

The dresser had been stood back up, the floor cleaned, the wall washed. The mirror frame had been discreetly removed. The bedspread, which had picked up a bloodstain, was changed. Erica sat on the bed, stroking Cora's forehead; the girl's wounded hand had been Healed. Miranda was sensibly out of sight in the hall, but ready to pounce if Erica was in danger. She let the Healing sedation fade.

Cora stirred, turned her head. A few seconds later, her eyes fluttered open. She took a deep breath, started to sit up, and Erica took her in a gentle embrace.

The girl shivered in her arms for several minutes. "I'm sorry," she finally whispered. "I just... I can't do this anymore."

"It's okay," Erica almost sang. "It's okay."

Cora wasn't shouting. She sounded worn out, drained dry. "It's not okay. It's wrong, it's all wrong." She began to weep brokenly. "I can't do this. Not for years. Nothing fits. I walk around and everything feels wrong. I'm weak and small and I sound like a baby when I talk. It's not getting easier, it's getting harder."

"It's gonna be okay," Erica said, just holding her.

"How?" Cora asked. It wasn't an accusation, or even a protest. It was a soul-deep plea. "I'm not me, nothing is me anymore. I look in the mirror and it's somebody else. I can't do this." Erica gave no sign even as her hands were squeezed painfully. "I can't do makeup and dresses and periods and tomorrow I have to go to a fucking gynecologist. I can't do this."

"Please, Cora," Erica said. "Just hang on. We'll find a way. Please."

Cora didn't say anything. She just cried, something she hadn't done since her first night as a girl, not even in the throes of her period. Erica held her, feeling as lost as Cora.

~~~~~

Eventually their unwilling charge stopped sniffling. At her request, they left her alone upstairs - though Miranda kept a Magical eye on her aura, ready to intercede if she showed any sign of trying to hurt herself. Miranda and Erica had called up the Sisterhood's leadership early.

Jacqui looked very sad. "We're going to have to rethink this. It's clear our current approach isn't working."

It had to be faced. Erica put it out there. "No way is she gonna be ready for school next week."

That brought on a hush. Finally Bronwyn spoke. "I'm afraid I have to agree. Jacqui, I want you to look into alternatives. Perhaps a GED, then community college for a few terms."

Erica whimpered a little. She'd hoped the Sisters might pull a rabbit out of a hat, have some trick to help Cora along.

Laurie heard it, saw her anguish over the webcam, and rushed to reassure her. "Erica, we are by no means giving up here. But it's obvious that Cora is going to need more time. A slower, gentler learning curve." She paused. "We'd hoped that if we simply kept moving forward, didn't give her time to form a response, mount a resistance, it would... get her over the hump, I suppose. Give her momentum in the right direction."

"But that hasn't worked," Jacqui noted. "We're just going to have to give her time to come to terms with this herself." She dropped her voice into a lower register. "We can only show her the door, now. She's the one who has to walk through it." She sounded nothing like Lawrence Fishburne, but Erica got the 'Matrix' reference anyway.

"No more trying to push her through, huh?" Erica snorted. "So, what does that mean?"

"We'll have to think about it," Bronwyn admitted. "But for now, we'll just ease off. Don't push her."

~~~~~

For the first night since her period, Cora passed on sex with Erica. "I just... need to think about things," she said.

"Okay," Erica said, concealing her worries as best she could. "I'm here, y'know, if you want to talk."

"Thanks." The girl turned away, just staring out the window. Erica backed out and closed the door. She went back to her room, and it took her a long time to get to sleep that night.

~~~~~

The Jardins sat at the kitchen table, having a wordless breakfast. The sky was overcast, reflecting Erica's apprehension. Haylie played with her hair, a nervous habit; Miranda had despaired of breaking her of it, particularly when Erica seemed to be developing the same vice. Their Mother sipped tea and looked at a book. The word 'reading' didn't apply; she'd gone over the same paragraph four times now with no comprehension.

They heard steps on the stairs, and Cora came into the kitchen. The bathrobe was unexpectedly absent; all she had on were her pajamas. She gave every appearance of being calm and unruffled. "Morning," she said to the room.

"Good morning," Miranda replied carefully. "Would you like some toast?"

"Nah, just a little cereal." She had to stretch onto her toes to get a bowl down from the cabinet. The Jardins were quiet as the girl found a spoon and poured herself a bowlful.

Erica spoke up as Cora sat down at the table. "We, uh, canceled your gyno appointment. You don't really need one anyway, with the Sisterhood's Healers. It's just, it's something girls go through. They swap war stories sometimes, you know, so we figured you should..." She coughed, stopped babbling. "Well, anyway, maybe someday. But we canceled this one."

"I think I should go." The declaration startled everyone. Even Haylie looked puzzled.

"Really?" Erica asked, stumbling mentally. It was like leaning into a wind that suddenly vanished. "You sure?"

"Yeah. It would look pretty strange if I never went to one." She took a bite of her breakfast, swallowed. "Cory's totally pissed about it. But I figure, how bad can it be?"

Mother and daughter exchanged nervous glances. "I'll see if we can reschedule," Miranda said, no hint of uncertainty in her voice.

~~~~~

As it happened, the office hadn't filled the open slot so they were able to make the original appointment. Cora seemed far less nervous than they'd expected - than even Erica had been. Erica fretted about the risk of returning catatonia, unable to tell if Cora was acting withdrawn or merely subdued.

There was no sensible excuse for Erica to be there when Cora went back with the doctor - even Miranda's presence was a bit unusual - so she sat out in the waiting room, trying and failing to read a magazine.

Finally they came back out. Erica wasn't sure how to feel about Cora's expression. On the positive side there was some emotion in it; on the negative, it seemed to be suppressed agitation. She spoke only a few words on their way out, grimly agreeing to a followup visit in a year.

She didn't say anything when they got in the car. "Uh... whadja think?" Erica cautiously essayed.

Cora frowned. "Cory almost screamed when she put that, that speculum thing inside me," she noted. "But I guess it wasn't so bad. It was fucking weird, but it wasn't really painful." Miranda was startled, and didn't make a fuss about the curse word. "Except that Pap thing. That really stung. Cory was gonna punch her."

"I'm, uh, glad he didn't," Erica mumbled, uncomfortable.

"I told him no." She stared out the window. "It wasn't so bad," she repeated. Erica would have been more reassured if Cora hadn't sounded like she was trying to convince herself.

~~~~~

When they got home, Cora had - unbidden - asked for another romance novel to study. Hiding her shock, Miranda pulled a new paperback from her library, and Cora took it and went upstairs without a word.

Miranda and Erica were in the library, talking on the phone in low but urgent voices with the Sisterhood's leadership.

Erica finished her report on the latest developments. "Anyway, she talks about 'Cora' and 'Cory' like they're two different people. Like when she was getting dressed this morning. I showed her a skirt, and she said, 'I guess it's okay, but Cory thinks it's too short'. It's kinda creeping me out."

"Actually, this is not necessarily a bad thing," Jacqui said thoughtfully.

"What are you talking about?!" Erica protested. "I think she's going crazy!"

"I mentioned before that I had a really tough Transition." In the background, Erica heard Bronwyn and Laurie mutter emphatic agreement with Jacqui's words. "I don't know if I was quite as pissed as Cora, but I went pretty ballistic. Threatened to kill myself, get myself sterilized, and everything."

Erica made a low whistle. She certainly didn't want to get pregnant. That didn't mean she wanted to mutilate herself.

"Yeah, it was rough. In the first weeks and months after my Transformation, 'Jack' was a big presence in my mind. To cope, I pretended. I built some separation between who I'd been and who I needed to be. I let 'Jack' own a lot of the resentment and repulsion I felt about it all."

"So, you think her... dissociation is... healthy?" Miranda sounded rather dubious.

"I didn't say that! I just think it's... understandable, in these circumstances. Maybe unavoidable. And so long as we're really really careful, it might even be useful. As time went on, 'Jack' kind of... faded. Stopped bitching and moaning. Stopped being necessary." She paused. "I like to think I've still got his best features, but it's just Jacqueline in here now." Again, Erica could hear the smile in Jacqui's voice, almost picture her pointing at her head.

"Don't worry about 'Cory'," Jacqui continued. "Don't attack him, don't feed him attention, just ignore him. Encourage Cora to explore herself, learn what she needs to. Whatever 'Cory' might think about something, ask how Cora feels."

"I guess I can do that," Erica said, not fully convinced. "But what if she says something like that in front of other people?"

"I'm guessing that probably won't come up. It didn't at the gynecologist, right? She waited until after you left to let 'Cory' vent."

Erica and Miranda exchanged a glance. Her Mom made a 'hmph' of surprised assent.

"'Cory' is a coping mechanism," Jacqui continued confidently. "For me, 'Jack' was there in my mind, sort of, but I didn't even let 'him' write in my journal. At most, I would make notes of 'his' thoughts and feelings." Jacqui sounded faintly embarrassed - but only faintly.

"We'll keep an eye on this, but for now Jacqui's idea seems sensible," Bronwyn declared. "Over time, 'Cory' should pop up less and less. If that doesn't happen, or if - Goddess forbid - the frequency increases, we may need to take further steps." Erica suspected the High Priestess had the same worried frown she felt on her own face. "Though I'm not sure what those might be, with half our tools forbidden to us."

"And if Cora keeps asking for training?" Miranda asked.

"Give it to her." Bronwyn was firm, decisive.

"But... you just told us last night to give her a break!" Erica said, exasperated.

"We said not to force her," Jacqui noted. "If she volunteers, that's a whole 'nother story. Just maybe, Cora has decided to stop fighting things so much." She sniffed, an aborted laugh. "Whatever 'Cory' thinks about it."

~~~~~

Erica went upstairs to find Cora. As she climbed up the steps, she pondered Jacqui's words. Was 'Cory' really such a big part of Cora's mind?

Erica often thought about Eric. Sometimes with amusement, sometimes with pity, sometimes just for contrast. But she didn't really consider 'him' as separate from her; more like who she used to be. Like remembering her... himself as a little kid. She didn't think of herself now as a totally different person. Even through the Transformation, there had been a certain continuity... right?

Maybe for Cora it really was that huge a difference. Certainly her Transformation had been far more traumatic. Erica knocked on the door. "Come in!" she heard.

Upon entering, she found Cora reclining on the bed, reading the novel. She didn't seem thrilled about it. Still, she kept reading for a few seconds before marking her place and putting it down. The last one she'd dropped at any excuse, as if it were radioactive.

"What's up?" she asked.

"Well, there's something I need to tell you. About, uh, birth control." Erica gave Cora a concise summary of the 'Facts of Life (For Sisters)'.

Cora pondered for a few seconds when Erica finished. "I don't think that matters for me. No way am I having sex with a guy." Cora didn't even seem as upset as she'd expected.

Erica shrugged. "Well, I just figured you should know. If, someday, it comes up, you should know."

"Are you thinking about that?" Cora asked probingly.

Erica looked away. "I... maybe someday. It's not as impossible as I used to think."

Cora shrugged. "Well, I gotta agree with Cory about that. I'll stick with girls, thanks."

~~~~~

Remarkable progress was made over the next few days. To be sure, there was still an ample supply of bristling and fussing. Much of that got blamed on 'Cory', however. 'Cora', on the other hand, began volunteering the occasional opinion - or even suggestion - about clothing and hairstyle and so forth. She began to walk and move more like a girl, apparently not battling her own skeletal structure quite so fiercely.

'Cory' still loathed everything about the process. 'Cora' by contrast - while not exactly eager - seemed determined to force herself through the Transition. She even brought up getting her ears pierced, reasoning that she would stand out otherwise. Miranda clutched at the chance to foist some jewelry onto her new charge. After a few hours Cora decided that dangling earrings were not for her, though she made concessions for a necklace and bracelet.

One thing had not changed - both Cora and 'Cory' were unremittingly resentful of Miranda. While Cora would cooperate with, and accept directions from, her 'foster Mother'... there was never any doubt of her attitude. Sarcasm, snark, and sullen obedience remained the hallmarks of their interaction.

They had not mentioned the possibility to Cora of dropping out of school, and let the notion die.

~~~~~

"Can I come in yet?"

"Not yet! Jeez, wait a minute!"

Erica shuffled nervously outside Cora's room. Cora said she had an 'experiment' in mind, and wanted her opinion. The wait was getting unbearable.

Finally Cora called her in. Erica cracked the door and slipped through, eyes drawn to her friend.

Cora's skin was even more pale than usual, but her eyeshadow was dark and her lips were blood-red. A black ribbon encircled her neck as a choker. She wore a dark, knee-length skirt and black tights. An embroidered vest, black nails.

At first glance, she was a Goth princess. A second look found flaws - the skirt might be black, but was a bit too modern in style. The vest was a dark purple.

"Huh," Erica managed. "That's different."

Cora kept looking herself over in the mirror. "I know that. What do you think?"

"Is that the look you want to go for?" Erica asked, reflecting that maybe there were downsides to Cora experimenting with her appearance. After a moment, she went on. "You could pull it off, with a little work. We'd have to do some serious shopping, though, if that was gonna be, like, your style..."

"I just thought it might keep the boys off me some."

Erica tried not to show her relief. "Only the nicer ones, is the problem. The broody assholes would be all over you."

Cora gave herself one final once-over, and turned to Erica with a sniff. "Yeah, about what I figured. Might as well stick with a more normal look."

Erica nodded. "It'd be a hella good Halloween costume, though." She smiled. "It's dead sexy."

Cora didn't rise to the bait. She just looked in the mirror. "I kinda thought so."

Erica realized she'd just killed any chance of Cora going out in public done up that way. At least for the foreseeable future, 'sexy' wasn't an adjective Cora would seek out.

"Even 'normal' covers a lot, though," she said. "What kind of look do you want?"

Cora's brow furrowed, her eyes narrowed, and her lips pursed. The expression of fierce concentration went well with the goth makeup. Her girlish, high-pitched voice spoiled the effect when she spoke. "Something that'll ward off the boys, but doesn't make me look like a total freak." Erica thought the goals were nearly mutually exclusive - Cora was so cute she'd almost have to look mentally disturbed to scare guys off.

Erica gave it some thought. "Well, we mostly picked, um... conservative stuff. You'll already look kinda goody-goody."

"Huh. I don't really wanna hang with the Jesus freaks."

"You're not gonna be, like, a nun or something." Erica sat on Cora's bed. "I can give you some advice. Try to ignore everything you can. If they hint, just be, like, clueless." She shrugged. "Some of 'em are still gonna ask, straight up."

"I can shut that shit down." Cora radiated menace.

Erica tried not to show her alarm. "Don't, like, go nuclear, though. I mean, how are the boys supposed to know... how you feel?"

"I 'go nuclear' a couple times, they'll figure it out," Cora said with evident anticipation.

"Hey, come on," Erica protested, "think for a minute. You don't want a rep as a 'psycho bitch' or anything. It won't just be boys who avoid you, then."

Cora wouldn't meet her eyes.

"I mean, if they won't take a polite 'no', go ahead and, y'know, 'escalate'." She put her hand on Cora's shoulder. "But c'mon, boys are gonna ask. It's not, like, rude for them to just ask."

~~~~~

Cora emerged from the car. Her uncertain expression contrasted strongly with the barely-restrained energy of Haylie. Erica had a third demeanor yet, one of interest and curiosity.

Although school started in three days, Miranda had felt guilty about breaking her promise to her daughters about the spa trip. Cora's recent improvements in attitude and skills were so encouraging that she'd decided to arrange an overnight excursion.

It would give Cora some practice and experience handling a distinctly feminine environment, as well. The girl was clearly apprehensive about the prospect, staring at the entrance.

"Well, come on, let's go," Miranda chided, and they went to the front desk to check in. Prudently, Miranda had booked two rooms - one for her and Haylie, the other for Cora and Erica. They went up, found their suites, and unpacked a little.

Then they met in Miranda's room. "Cora, Erica, I've signed you up for the first massages. Haylie, you and I will get skin treatments."

Cora bit her lip. Miranda noticed, and said, "No need to fret, it's just a massage. The point is to relax!"

Cora made no reply. She silently followed Erica to the elevator. On the way down, she finally spoke. "I just... when you gave me that backrub, I got so wet I couldn't stand it. Won't the masseuse know?"

Erica shook her head. "I really don't think that'll be a problem," she said.

They changed in to robes in the locker room before going to the massage tables. This spa had separate men's and women's facilities, which was one reason Miranda had picked it. Cora nodded silently but ruefully at Erica when she saw who would be taking care of her. The thick, middle-aged asian woman proved to be no kind of lust object. While her hands were skilled, they were also efficient and businesslike.

Miranda had planned wisely. The massage drained much tension from the novice Sister, so that she didn't panic when they all met up for manicures and pedicures.

Cora was still passive and nervous through the exfoliation and painting. When they were done, she stared for a long time at the elaborate floral pattern at the ends of her fingers and toes. She refused to even consider long nails, but her hands looked completely girly anyway.

Lunch was next - a healthy salad, but delicious.

After lunch, they went up to their rooms, changed, and came back down to the pool for a while. Erica and Haylie held towels in their hands; Cora's towel was draped over her shoulders, hiding her body as they crossed the lobby and went into the women's spa area. Miranda reclined on a lounge chair while the girls made a beeline for the water.

All but Cora. She seemed to be searching the area for any male eyes, clearly uncomfortable in a bikini. Apparently satisfied that only women were allowed in this region, she stepped gingerly into the shallow end of the pool.

"Come on, Cora! You know how to swim, don't you?" Haylie called, paddling over and standing up.

"I did," Cora hissed under her breath. "Don't know if I do in this body."

Haylie rolled her eyes. "Oh, jeez, gimme a break."

Cora glared. Erica swam up, trying to defuse the situation. "Hey, this is hard enough for..."

Haylie interrupted by shoving Cora into the water.

She fell backwards with a splash and went under. The pool wasn't even three feet deep in that section, though, so she came up spluttering an instant later.

"You little - you -" she blustered, struggling to her feet. Haylie laughed in reply. Cora moved with surprising speed - bending low, grabbing Haylie's legs, and lifting. Haylie made a satisfying splash onto her back.

Erica stood up, alarmed. She squinted; you couldn't take glasses or contacts into a pool. "Take it easy, guys..." she started to say. Cora, an evil grin on her face, advanced on her. Erica put up her hands, warding her off. "Hey, I didn't..." But Cora moved again, hooking a leg behind Erica's as she pushed forward with her arms. Erica was put off-balance, and fell.

Cora lifted her arms in triumph. Then Haylie tackled her from behind.

Miranda had sat bolt upright in the lounge chair, a hairsbreadth from running forward to intervene. But when Cora came back up, she was laughing. She fought with Haylie, but it was a controlled, playful fight now. A game, not combat.

So the girls gamboled in the pool for a time, splashing and pushing and squealing. Perhaps they were a little too rambunctious, a little too loud. Certainly the squinting glares from a few of the women lounging around the deck implied as much. But Miranda made no move to interrupt. She had never seen such a simple, uncomplicated expression of enjoyment on Cora's face.

It might well be the first fun she's had since the Transformation, Miranda thought to herself. For just this moment, she's not angry or frightened. So screw you, you old crones. Her soul needs this.

It only lasted a few minutes. As soon as the fight was over, Cora's shell closed up once more, and she swam alone for a time. But Miranda found herself wishing she might see the girl happy again, eventually. And for a first, not because she feared Cora's wrath and depression, but simply because Cora had a beautiful smile.

~~~~~

Miranda stood behind Haylie, brushing the girl's hair before bed. She was trying hard to make sure her youngest daughter didn't feel neglected despite the trying times, making a point of spending some Mother-Daughter time every day. But an entire evening to themselves, if only in a hotel room, was a definite luxury.

Haylie had been quiet for a few minutes, but suddenly she spoke. "Mom - are Cora and Erica having sex?"

Miranda wasn't altogether surprised at the question. She and Erica had been exceedingly discreet, and she'd kept a Magical eye out to ensure Haylie never came across anything that might raise suspicions. Cora and Erica were understandably not as clandestine, at least at home. And the silence spell hadn't been placed on Cora's room until a couple days after her Transformation. "I rather suspect so."

Haylie's brow scrunched up. After a moment, she said, "So... they're lesbians?"

Miranda sighed. "That's a more difficult question." She cocked her head. "Would it bother you if they were?"

"I guess not," Haylie shrugged. "Erica went to Homecoming with a boy, though."

"Sexuality is more complicated than most people want to admit." She grinned. "And for boys turned into girls, it's going to be even more complicated."

Haylie didn't smile back. Miranda belatedly remembered that Haylie was a man turned into a girl, and didn't know it. How would that complicate things?

The girl asked again. "You think they're gonna stay lesbians?"

Miranda paused. "I don't know. That will depend on them... but I doubt it." She shrugged. "Many people will tell you many things about sexuality, but they are usually only telling part of the story."

Haylie was paying attention. Miranda spoke on. "It's not true that anyone chooses to be gay, or straight. There are people who hate homosexuals, who are convinced it's just a... a decision, a rebellion. That's simply not true."

"But then other people try to claim that it's all inborn, inevitable, that someone is born gay and that's that. And that's not true, either."

"So what is true?" Haylie asked, sounding frustrated.

"That everyone's different, dear." Haylie got the beginnings of a stubborn look on her face - for an instant, Miranda thought she saw an echo of Cora. "That's not just an expression! Let me finish, please!"

Haylie accepted the admonishment and sat back, allowing Miranda to brush some more as she spoke. "I'm sure there are people who are just gay, who never feel attracted to the other sex their whole lives. And other people who are simply straight, and that's all there is to it."

"But for most people, sexuality is a bit more fluid. Or can be, at least. Many young girls experiment with other girls at first, and go on to happily pursue boys. Boys often do the same thing with other boys, and become the biggest hornballs later." This was rewarded with a giggle from Haylie. "I think most people have the potential to respond to men or women, at different times and to different degrees."

Haylie considered that for a while. Miranda finished up and put down the brush. "Mom... what if I was a lesbian?"

Her brows lifted. "Is there something that makes you think that might be the case?"

"I don't... no, never mind."

Miranda sat on the room's queen-size bed and patted the spot next to her. "Get over here. Spill."

The girl almost scampered over and pressed close to her Mother. It took a few seconds before she started to talk in a faint voice.

"I've had this dream a couple times." She paused so long Miranda almost prompted her, but then she began to speak again. "I'm a guy, in the dream, y'know? And there's this girl. She's really pretty. Asian."

Miranda waited. Haylie continued, very quietly. "I was paying her. For, y'know, sex. In the dream." And I was just wondering how Haylie's past might complicate things for her, Miranda thought.

"I was... well, I had my thing. My guy-thing... in her butt. And I could tell it was hurting her, and she didn't want to do it, but she needed the money, and..."

Oh, Goddess. "Sweetie, all kinds of strange things happen in dreams..."

But Haylie wasn't calmed. "It didn't feel like a regular dream. More like something that was really happening." Haylie let out a sob. "You said dreams sometimes show the future. Mom, am I gonna turn into a guy like that?"

"Oh, dear." She thought quickly and carefully about what to say. "Dreams can be portents, certainly. Especially for Sisters. But even for Sisters, most dreams are just dreams."

"It was really scary. It was like I was watching what was going on, and I didn't like it. But... it was also me, doing those things. And that part of me... really liked it."

Miranda hugged her adopted daughter fiercely. Then she pulled back a little, looked Haylie in the eyes. "I don't think it was an omen of the future or anything like that." Goddess forbid! she thought. "I suppose the best way to take it, is as a warning."

"You mean, I might become someone like that someday?"

"That's not quite what I meant. What was wrong about what happened in the dream?"

"Well, I... he... was hurting her. He was being real rough."

Miranda smiled. "Actually, 'rough' isn't always a bad thing. Lots of girls - and plenty of boys, too - like to be treated roughly, sometimes." Miranda smiled gently. "Even - with permission - in the butt."

Haylie shook her head. "But he wasn't... he wasn't doing it 'cause she liked it. He wasn't even doing it because he liked it." She looked down at the floor. "He was doing that stuff 'cause she didn't like it."

"So there's two warnings to take from it." Haylie looked up at her. "First, don't be like that. Don't take pleasure in really hurting someone else."

"I wouldn't!" Haylie said, almost crying.

Miranda hugged her tenderly. "I know that, sweetie." She stroked the girl's hair. "That's why the second lesson is more important. Don't get involved with someone who does enjoy hurting you."

Haylie just held onto her Mother, face buried in her chest. Miranda held her back just as fiercely.

~~~~~

Erica sat on the hotel bed, half an eye on the TV, most of her attention on texting her friends. She'd insisted on getting in a shower first. Cora took long baths anymore.

She watched Cora amble out of the bathroom, rubbing at her hair with a towel. She tried to determine what was different. Something had changed; somehow Cora looked less... under siege. Her gait had become much more girlish in the last few days. Nevertheless, it hadn't become fully natural; somehow you could tell she was trying.

Even when she wasn't so self-conscious, she had a haunted air, never fully at ease. But less so tonight.

Cora came and sat next to her. Casually, they hugged, and kissed gently. It wasn't urgent like the first few times they'd done it. Cora had come to accept the greater sexual stamina that came with being a girl. "Like running a marathon instead of a sprint," she'd quipped once.

Cora leaned her head back, appreciating Erica's fingers on her back. "Mmmmmmm. I like this massage even better."

"Told you it'd be okay," Erica said, nuzzling Cora's neck.

The girl stopped rubbing a little, becoming serious for a moment. "I was actually kinda glad. I mean, this body" - Erica sadly noticed Cora still wouldn't say 'my body', but made no sign - "gets hot so easy. It was nice to know I can touch somebody without getting all wet."

"Unless you want to?" Erica said, curling one leg over the other.

Cora's kiss made clear that now, she wanted to.

Rather a while later, though, as they rested, Cora stirred. Distant stormclouds in her expression, she said, "Do you really think it's going to be okay?"

No need to guess what she was talking about. School loomed large in both their thoughts. "Yeah, I totally do," Erica said. She pulled Cora closer. "I can't promise it'll all be smiles and rainbows," - Cora snorted - "but yeah, you're gonna be okay."

"I'm still... I never get it all right. Even just walking."

"Nobody gets it all right. OK, yeah, you'll be... quirky. But you can still make friends."

"It's gonna be okay," Erica said, praying she spoke the truth.

Continued in Part 6

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Comments

Given up

Jamie Lee's picture

Cory seems to have given up fighting his situation. Seems to be! But as wise as he is, it is possible he is letting everyone think he's going to try and live as a girl. If he does this long enough, and the sisters believe he's doing fine, he can then do whatever he might be planning.

And of course, he could also resigned himself to the fate he was forced into.

I have to laugh, and cringe, every time choice is brought up to Erica. Laurie said Eric was given a choice, but only after they forced the change on him. And given his proclivity for pleasing himself, they all knew he'd miss the time limit (as I've stated several times before).

Sometimes it seems Erica tries too hard in helping Cory adjust. It seems her comments always end with "it will get better." How does she know? She wanted to try the experience. She wasn't zapped into a girl.

It will be interesting to see why Cory seems to have given up resisting. If he has.

Others have feelings too.

Really, really enjoying this.

Really, really enjoying this..Two transitions! Yeah, well
what going to happen with this school year?? Kinda
thinking that with Cora's smaller size. She'll maybe get
into gymnastics or be the girl on the top of the cheerleader pyramids.

alissa

This was a nice chapter

Nice to see cora accepting more of herself, even if that self is dissociated quite a bit. :3

Xx
Amy