A Mother's Love - Vol. 1.03

Printer-friendly version
breastfeeding.jpg
          

As she suckled, I looked down at myself and reflected on the strangeness of my naked breasts, one of which was giving sustenance to the little girl of the house.

Coupled with a pink dressing gown, very little body hair and the panties that I was wearing, I didn't see much that was male.


 

A Mother's Love - Part 3

by Alys

Part 3


 

"Where is Steve? What are you doing in my house?" asked Mary.

I realised that my earlier attempt at deceiving the grocery delivery man had been much too successful, I had now managed to accidentally fool my wife into thinking I was a woman.

"Mary, it's me" I replied, lowering the pitch of my voice to a normal range.

"Steve?"

"Yes"

"Who's that woman with you then?" she asked angrily.

"That's me too, I was just messing around with my voice earlier"

"Why?" she asked.

I explained about having to wear one of her bras because the nursing bras were wet and then the dress and the makeup.

"You idiot," Mary said a little caustically,"how is Bekka?"

"She is here in my arms now, feeding," I responded.

"Oh, how is it going?" she asked with an odd tone in her voice.

I looked down at our daughter sucking greedily on my nipple.

"Really well. You should have seen the face on the nursery nurse when I started breast feeding Bekka, it was a picture of surprise and.........." I paused when I realised my mistake in prattling on about being able to feed Bekka, when Mary couldn't.

"Oh, I'm sorry Mary, I forgot," I said apologetically.

There was a pause. I waited anxiously for her response.

"Listen, Steve, I'm going to hang up now and before you ask, I'm not sure when I'm coming back. Give Bekka a kiss from me, bye." She said before ending the call.

"Or if you're coming back, I guess," I said into the now dead phone, before replacing it on the base station.

I stroked the thin hair on Bekka's head as she continued to guzzle. Our similar intolerance to cow's milk had given Mary and I an initial shared experience at university, where we had both studied French and German. That, and a deadly sexually transmitted virus, that she had acquired from a brief sexual encounter before she met me, had lead me onto the path of estrogen/anti androgens and then induced lactation of the last eight months.

But now the very success of the treatment, essential to Bekka's survival, was driving a wedge between us.

Suddenly I felt Bekka's grip on my nipple slacken. I looked down to see my precious daughter fast asleep. I put her into her cot, next to the bed. I slipped off Mary's dress and too tired to search out a pair of my pyjamas from my wardrobe, grabbed one of her nightdresses and got into bed. I was asleep as my head touched the pillow.

Too soon, Bekka's grizzle woke me up. It was just after 4am.

"Well done, sweetheart," I said to her quietly as I picked her up, reflecting on her progress in sleeping over five hours.

I quickly changed her, discarded my damp nightdress and bra and after putting on Mary's dressing gown, sat in front of the TV to give Bekka her early morning feed. As she suckled, I looked down at myself and reflected on the strangeness of my naked breasts, one of which was giving sustenance to the little girl of the house. Coupled with a pink dressing gown, very little body hair and the panties that I was wearing, I didn't see much that was male. I shook my head at such weird notions and pulled the dressing gown to cover myself better.

Later on, I was making my way through the slow moving traffic to work. One of the main frustrations of driving to work was that although there would nearly always be a period when the traffic was fairly free flowing and my hopes rose about arriving at work early and having the luxury of a coffee and a chat with my fellow workers before the onslaught, it never made a difference to the length of the journey. Since every period of traffic moving well would be counter-balanced by the times when the main road metamorphosed into a huge car park.

It was two minutes before the appointed time to start work by the time I was walking through the main entrance carrying Bekka in her car seat. I smiled at John, standing in the middle of the plaza, exchanged a few words of greeting and rushed on towards the lift, just squeezing into one that was about to go up.

A few minutes later, after leaving Bekka in the capable hands of Janis in the nursery, I was speed reading the emails from the various people that Adventure Travel dealt with throughout Europe and beyond. Five involved phone calls later, two in French, two in German and one in English, I looked up to see Jules offering me a cup of coffee. I sipped the welcome beverage.

"Thanks," I said.

"You're busy this morning and you look tired Steve." she commented.

"Well you know how it is when you're a, more or less, single parent and you're b............." I stopped before I revealed more than I wanted to.

"And you're what?" asked Jules.

"um, maybe tell you later, lunch at O'Leary's again?" I suggested.

"Sure and, look, Kathleen's on a course, so maybe you can spill the beans?"

"Maybe....."

I was interrupted by another phone call and was soon engrossed in my work. Some hour or so later I had just clicked on send on yet another email when my nursery pager went off. Jules looked up as I stood up to go to the feed Bekka, I mouthed 'see you at O'Leary's' to her, since she was on the phone. She gave me the thumbs up sign as I left the office floor.

Janis was rocking Bekka who was whimpering a little when I arrived at the nursery.

I took my precious baby off her and settled down in the comfortable chair as the day before. I opened my baggy shirt and pulled the flap of my bra covering my left breast down to allow Bekka access to lunch, or was it late breakfast or brunch?

Janis had a quiet few moments so she sat down opposite me.

"So tell me," she asked quietly," what's the deal here with you and this breast feeding. I talked to one of my friends who works in a nursery and we couldn't work out the why and how of this"

I smiled at her.

"In fact," she continued," it took me half an hour to convince her that this was not some elaborate wind-up"

"OK, let me explain"

I gave her a brief summary of the events leading up to me breast feeding Bekka.

"HIV, that's tough, your poor wife." She said sympathetically.

"Yes," I responded,"but at least the drugs are working well for her and we managed to avoid Bekka getting it too"

Our conversation was interrupted by the cries of two of the other children in the nursery and in a moment Janis was a whirlwind of activity.

I settled back into my parental bonding with Bekka.

"Well that is a peaceful scene," said Mrs Susan Williams, my immediate superior and the person who had lobbied for me to use the nursery with permission to breast feed.

"Hi Susan," I responded.

"Well I wouldn't have believed it without seeing it, it's amazing and I'm sure Mary must be proud of your efforts. Not many men would do what you have done," Susan stated.

"I think she appreciates it," I responded.

"Anyway I can't stop for long but I wanted to give you some news and made an offer to you"

"Oh really?"

"I've just come back from a meeting of the Senior Management Team and I must say that we are impressed with what you have achieved in being back only a day and half. You seemed to have solved some logistic problems that had been plaguing us for weeks just with a few phone calls and emails."

"Just doing my best, Susan"

"You are too modest Steve. But listen, here's the offer, we want you to think about it for a day or so. We are thinking of setting up a new department to deal with clients who want a more personal service and are prepared to pay appropriately for it. We are talking about organising exclusive holidays staring at a minimum of one hundred thousand pounds," she stated.

"Wow, some big spenders," I responded.

"Yes and we want you to lead this section with maybe one or two assistants, think about it Steve, OK?," she requested, before gently stroking Bekka's head and leaving me to contemplate a very lucrative job offer.

O'Leary's was as crowded as usual when I eventually arrived a while later. I made my way to a corner table that Jules had managed to commandeer.

"Thanks," I said at the sight of the spicy chickpea wrap and orange juice that she had ordered for me," how much do I owe you?"

"It's on the house," she replied," a down payment for you revealing all"

I chuckled.

"OK, Inspector Clouseau, I will confess all," I responded.

"I don't want your confession, just the juicy details of your crimes," she stated in a mock serious tone.

"I'll come quietly," I responded.

"Come on," she said laughing," just tell me what the story is with you and the you know what"

"OK," I said before giving her a similar story to the one I had given Janis earlier.

Jules's response was rather more marked since she knew Mary a little, we had occasionally associated as a foursome with her and whatever partner she was with. She made sympathetic noises when I told her about my wife's illness. When I got onto the breast feeding she stopped eating and stared at me open mouthed as I explained the how, why and wherefores.

"This I must see," she stated firmly after I had finished my explanation, "when will you be feeding Bekka again?"

"Sometime mid-afternoon, about three hours from now"

"OK, I'll try and organise my phone calls to avoid that period, this should be an interesting experience"

I looked at my watch and realised that it was time to return. As we walked briskly back to our office I told Jules about the job offer and asked her if she would be interested in being one of my assistants. We reached the main entrance but before I could get a response John had hailed me.

"Mr Jones, excuse me sir but this gentleman has something for you," he said referring to a young man in a post office courier uniform who was holding a mountain bike in one hand and a small package in the other.

Jules continued onto the lift while I signed for the package.

I looked at it as the lift made its rapid ascent.

"What is it?" Jules asked.

"It's a same day delivery letter, that is ruinously expensive," I responded.

"Who's it from?" she asked.

"I don't know, there is no return address on the back, although the writing looks familiar"

I looked at the post mark, I made out 'Manchester'. I felt my pulse quicken. The lift reached our floor, I stepped out and stood in the corridor and opened the package. Inside was a sheet of paper and a ring. A wedding ring. Mary's wedding ring. I opened the folded sheet of paper and started reading

'Dear Steve
I'm sorry, I can't go on like this. Being with you has felt more and more like being with another woman and after yesterday on the phone..............'

I couldn't read the rest. I dropped the package on the floor and banged my fist on the wall, jolting my breasts violently and painfully at the same time.

"Noooooooooooooooooo"


To Be Continued...

 
End of Part Three

up
136 users have voted.
If you liked this post, you can leave a comment and/or a kudos! Click the "Thumbs Up!" button above to leave a Kudos

Comments

So Sad Yet So Good

terrynaut's picture

Thanks for this story. I remember finding a link about breastfeeding men somewhere on BigCloset/TopShelf so I'm not surprised by it. It's so sweet and good to see a man do something like that for his baby. It's just too bad he's losing his wife for it. That's not a fair trade. *sigh*

Please keep writing and I'll keep reading. :)

Hugs

- Terry

That Witch!!!!!

a Dear Steve letter, huh? She wanted to help him to achieve this and then she dumps him?..... B$&@#!!!

I'm enjoying the story, Alys...... was wondering if you were going to give us a science lesson on men breast feeding or not. but I guess I'll have to wait and find out.

A.A.

with a capital 'B'

Of course. Growl. Women like her give us all a bad name.

It is very practical in some people.

The two cases that I know about were both in India and no drug therapy was used.

Now......if an endocrinologist was willing to help.....

Most men would never be secure in themselves enough to to it.

Mary doesn't seem to be very strong of character. Of course we don't know if she got the disease from a needle prick or from college age indescretion?

Gwen

I Guess You've Sort Of

joannebarbarella's picture

Telegraphed the end of the story, but it's going to be an interesting journey. Well written as usual,
Joanne

Telegraphed

Oh dear how did you guess the fairy godmother appears in chapter 14 and they all live happily ever after? :-)

Alys

That answer...

...really made me laugh! :-D Thank you!

-Liz

Successor to the LToC
Formerly known as "momonoimoto"

Mother's Love-3

Considering what has happened in this chapter with Steve and his baby daughter Becca, The Title is in many ways quite apt. What happens in the future will be most interesting to read.
May Your Light Forever Shine

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine

Ooompphhh!!

O that hurts. It's hard, and it seems cruel even. Yet I don't want to judge and condemn Mary, maybe she's loosing most, if not all. What a combination of utter sweetness with breastfeeding little Becka and the bleak and horrid tale of HIV and struggling a -lost?- battle of love and trust. Yes, I'm mesmerized.

Jo-Anne

Mary Sounds Like A Very Selfish Person

jengrl's picture

I could not imagine doing such a horrible thing to someone after they make it possible for their daughter to feed naturally. She has to be one of the most selfish and heartless people. If my husband was willing to do that I would love them that much more. I could not imagine turning my back on my child either. I know she has HIV, but she needs to get a heart transplant too apparently.

Hugs,

Jenn

PICT0013_1_0.jpg

I'm not so sure

It is posible she is angry and, like she said, sees him as a woman now despite rationally knowing why his is like this. He is doing everything she wishes she could and is jealous.

BUT, I am suspicious it is not that she is mean, evil or spiteful. I suspect as worst she is bitter, regrets what happened and is taking her anger out on the wrong person, IE lashing out in vain at her perceived cruel fate.

OR she is doing the so-called noble thing and driving him and her daughter way from the *unclean sinner* she perceives herself as, hoping he will find and understanding woman and have the lovelife she doesn't dare risk having with him.

I hope this is the case or even my first idea. From what little we know of her before, she was fun-loving, adventurous and a risk taker. She has lost so much, she doesn't dare nurse her child for fear of condeming it to HIV, she can't have sex without protection and that is iffy at best. She fears spreading it to him and orphaning her child. Oral sex is out. Unless a better treatment or a cure is found she is condemned to years of drugs, and risk of eventual decline and a possibly a grusome death.

I fear she may be suicidal and returning the ring is her way of saying goodbye, I love you too much to condemn you to being my caretaker. In saying what she says, she is trying to not make him feel guilty. I can't see her as evil.

Very sad.

John in Wauwatosa

John in Wauwatosa

I was going to write essentially ...

Jezzi Stewart's picture

... the same things. Although bitterness, anger, self-pity, etc. may be present, she may also really believe she is doing the nobel thing. I don't think we should condemn Mary at this point; let's see what happens.

BE a lady!

Sounds like Mary's cutting her worldly connections...

I can't say that I'm all that sympathetic to Mary's treatment of her husband or daughter; as a matter of fact I'd say she's being just about evil. But, since we know so little about her and her present mental/physical condition, she seems to be doing her best to cut herself loose from this world, while in an odd way providing a mother for her baby, someone who can look after Bekka's immediate needs....

I'm surprised what came out as I started to write - I was all set to crucify the b**** for her latest stunt, undermining her husband at work....

He conquers who endures. ~ Persius

I feel sad for Mary

Angharad's picture

she is possibly losing everything and still feeling angry about it. It sounds as if she still has some thinking to do and I hope will come around to having as normal a family life as she can.

Interesting tale, Alys.

Cofleidiau

Angharad

Angharad

Lotsa theories

but with only the slimmest of facts. However, no matter what she is trying to do, she is doing it the wrong way. That is the only thing every body here seems to be in agreement.

In a way, the divorce will be painful, but quick so Steve can move on. Steve will have his ( may her ? ) hands full being a manager, raising a kid etc. An additional emotional burden of a damaged spouse is not a good thing.

Kim

Very touching!

This really explained a lot. I do feel very sad for both of them. Steve has the better lot in my opinion - his own baby to feed and raise (I just wish EVER SO MUCH it was me).

I can understand Mary as she seems to be 100 % heterosexual - my one time women boss (she died of cancer coincidentally) reacted very negatively to crossdressing and transgenderism in a news paper article. So it isn't that easy for a woman to accept a man that looks very much like a woman - and even sounds too!

I just hope that Steve has not build his world to the hope of Mary returning. Somehow I don't think that will be happening (well ... only the author knows...).

Hugs,
Sissy Baby Paula and Snowball (my toy puppy)