Easy As Falling Off a Bike pt 3058

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The Daily Dormouse.
(aka Bike, est. 2007)
Part 3058
by Angharad

Copyright© 2016 Angharad

  
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This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
*****

I was a bit sore the next morning but nothing too drastic. Sometimes I wonder if Si would be interested in intimacies if afterwards he had to go and have a little wash because of leakage. All I want to do is turn over and go to sleep in that post coital tiredness that seems to sweep over me afterwards, then I feel some ooze and I know if I don’t do something, I’ll have to change the bedding tomorrow. Si did suggest getting me some incontinence knickers—it nearly affected his sex life—I refused to let him near me for a week or so. Why? Surely not revenge for his stupid suggestion? But no, the thought of Tena lady just put me off. It just reminds me of poor old people, smelling of wee, especially after Stella told me of some of the stories they share in urology, but they refute absolutely, that they’re only there to take the piss. With her sometimes I do wonder.

I was in my study checking my emails when I had a note from a colleague at Edinburgh. Apparently they had a team working in nearby Dorset, checking for leprosy in red squirrels. I heard a while ago that it occurs in parts of Scotland but now it’s down south in one of the few red squirrel colonies in England. The poor little buggers, they suffer from all sorts of problems, not least the North American grey squirrel which is bigger and out-competes it. Our unwelcome transatlantic visitor was apparently released in Cheshire in 1876 by a Mr Brocklehurst of Henbury Park as an ornamental species. Several other tossers with country estates followed suit and today we have a problem with the species.

Red squirrels are subject to outbreaks of coccidiosis which is a disease caused by a protozoan and resides in the gut where it can form cysts. However, in compromised animals or ones with poor immune systems the cysts can occur anywhere in the body including the brain. It’s caused by a pathogen called Tamiasciurus hudsonicus and it’s probably spread at feeders. The other thing is the rather disgusting squirrel pox, parapox virus which is endemic amongst grey squirrels but as most are immune to it it doesn’t cause too many problems, however, it does in reds. Apparently, it doesn’t actually kill them but it disables them and eventually prevents them from feeding and they rapidly lose condition and die. It alarmed Natural England enough to commission a report on the possibility for the development of a vaccine for the red squirrel.

If I remember the conclusions, it was that it was possible though difficult because the virus moves through the skin cells not systemically, so the blood doesn’t get much chance to attack it with white blood cells or secrete antibodies. However some reds were developing immunity by themselves, so we live in hopes. However, recovery from leprosy is another matter and that is unlikely. Humans with leprosy tend not to feel much pain, in fact the way it attacks nerve endings, numbness is the usual symptom, one hopes the same is true for squirrels. At the moment, they don’t know how the disease is spread possibly by ticks or other ectoparasites. Possibly Edinburgh University will discover it and some form of prevention possible.

Feeling thoroughly depressed by my emails, I replied to my friend saying that if she was working down at Brownsea to give us a shout and stay for a night, or at least come for a meal.

“Why the long face?” asked my beloved.

“Been reading about red squirrels on Brownsea island getting infected with leprosy.”

“What? How do they know, do they carry little bells and shout, ‘unclean’ to warn the others?”

“Yeah, that’s how they spotted it, the bells gave it away, even a scientist could see those.”

“What are they going to do about it?”

“I have no idea, apparently the University of Edinburgh is carrying out research.”

“Cor, why didn’t they ask you or Bournemouth, you’re two or three hundred miles closer?”

“They’ve been studying it up in Scotland, you know place of perpetual rain with grumpy men in kilts and soggy sporrans.”

“Not if ye wurr yer spurran inside yer kilt.”

“What a leather pouch covered in badger hair, inside the kilt—apart from being unhygienic wouldn’t it rub yer winkie?”

“How would I know?”

“Well you were the one going on about wearing it inside the kilt to keep it dry. Don’t tell me, that way you could slow cook your haggis as well?”

“You know, dear wifey, if you wisnae Scots yersel’ I could accuse ye o’ racism?”

“Like you with the Americans the other night?”

“Was I? Did I? Can’t remember. I mean I have such robust badinage with my transpond colleagues that I can’t remember when I do it. Needless to say, they get their own back.”

“I’m sure they do, now where are the girls?”

“Trish was upstairs making plans to split the atom, I think Livvie was helping her. Hannah was out in the garden with Danielle helping Tom play with his sprouts or something like that, Mima was with the younger ones in the lounge, playing with their dolls when last seen.”

“Goodness, I’m impressed.”

“Yes, so was I, of course Julie and Phoebe are in work and Jacquie is out shopping, gone to collect some book she ordered from Waterstones.”

“Why didn’t she have it delivered? By the time you pay for buses or the cost of taking the car and parking it, it’s cheaper to pay postage and have it delivered to the door.”

“It’s quicker.”

“How d’you know that?”

“She told me, they have their own internal delivery system which is quicker than the mail or white van man.”

“Crikey, all I know is I ordered a CD the other day and it arrived about three days later after they told me to expect it at the end of the month.”

“What CD?”

“Cantata memoria.”

“Another of your morbid melodies?”

“I beg your pardon?”

“Well you enjoy music for the dead, don’t you?”

“If you mean the Mozart Requiem, yes I do, also some of the best bits of Wagner are a bit funereal.”

“Venereal? Sorry that was a cock up,” he chuckled at his third form joke but I remained stony faced and eventually he blushed and changed the subject.

“Cantata memoria is in remembrance of the victims of Aberfan.”

“Wasn’t that something about a coal tip crushing a school—god, that was years ago.”

“It was 1966, fifty years ago.”
“So why are you interested?”

“I used to live in Bristol, I used to occasionally cycle in Wales and I enjoy the musical works of the composer.”

“Who’s that?”

“Karl Jenkins.”

“Sounds like someone who’s half German with a Welsh father.”

“Perhaps he is—no he’s Welsh, and he wrote Adiemus, remember that?”

“God that was years ago.”

“He’s done a few things since including the ‘Armed Man’.

“You had that on in the car the other day, didn’t you?”

“Clever boy, I had the Sanctus on my iPod.”

“See, I dunno nuffin abaht scabby squirrels but I know my wifey.”

“Sometimes, husband, it appears you do, now let’s see what these girls are doing...”

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Comments

dormouse!

Did anyone elses ears and eyes jump to attention at the sight of John Craven Dormouse wrangling last sunday evening on countryfile - he got to hold one of the buggars!

It's a great pleasure of mine

Angharad's picture

handling dormice and checking them over, sexing them, weighing them and then popping them back into their nests - unharmed. I'm hoping some nesting tubes I put up on a nature reserve a couple of weeks ago may show presence of these delightful animals - but I'm not holding my breath.

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Angharad

I wonder

Simon made reference to "transpond colleagues" across the Atlantic. Could this use of transpond be the origin of the word transponder? It does relate to some communications.

Much Love,

Valerie R

Ringing little bells indeed.

Ringing little bells indeed. Simon can be quite the joker when he wants to. Glad to see the two of them enjoying each others company for a change and not being at loggerheads with each other.

Its very rare

that i will go into Waterstones to buy a book , Thats not to say i never go in, I do quite frequently. Buts thats more to check that the book i want is worth buying .... Then i go online and find it cheaper there , Its probably not the best idea long term after all if the book shops close through lack of custom then i wouldn't be able to do that , Trouble is books are expensive and i read lots ....

Kirri

The interaction between red

The interaction between red and gray squirrels there is the opposite as here, the grays are southern and the reds are more northern (New Hampshire in the north, Massachusetts in the south). Where they collide, the red squirrels are smaller, but dominate.
I'm going to have to look for that music.

Nice to see Simon's all lovie-dovie, even if he dislikes the Yankee Bankers

Karen