Gwen Brown

Middle East War Years

I've been thinking about a chapter of the Hala Story that deals with very cynical account of the years from 2020 though about 2050. One of my protagonists would be involved in more war in Syria, Iraq, and Turkey with Daesh and finally the Russians. Thank God the US runs out of money to prosecute this war.

Not really sure I even want to write this chapter because I think there are enough Vets on this site that it would just traumatize them. Maybe all this can be handled in a paragraph or two. There is no glory in war.


Pounding The Anvil of Wordsmithy.

This afternoon as I was getting undressed after a bike ride, and mulling over the plot of a story that has me by the ear. I spotted several little gnats flying around inside the clear tank of my vaporizer. It only took a moment to take care of the little pricks; didn't want them laying eggs or defecating in there.

Deserving a DUI ?

Blog About: 


So, for a very long time I have been too holy to drink, like ever.

Innocently I was on my way up to KFC to get my fat fix and I spied a little hole in the wall Italian Resurante. So, deciding that some culture could help cure my depression, I stopped and went in there. So, I had Pollo with mushroom sauce and pasta. YUM !!!! In a weak moment I had a pint of IPA beeer or ale or waht hever.

So, now I need to aks the qurestion. Can I posseblyt be intoxicated on a mere pint? Serouisly?

Oh, I gots soem tiramisu too, thinkin it mite sobr be up.

Costly struggle

Blog About: 


I'm in the middle of a struggle that is costing me lots of emotional strength and my two best friends don't even care, and in fact view my efforts in this area as fruitless, even silly. I don't force my views on others but if they decide to ridicule my own, there is no respect; they seem to feel they have a right to tear at things that make all the difference to me, the only reason I stay alive.

Living as a woman with a woman

Blog About: 


A huge surprise this last week or so. A Saudi Arabian friend of mine asked me if I could put up a female college grad until she finds an apartment, and now she will be moving out on the 15th, and that will have been three weeks. My Saudi Friend does not know about me and neither does she, and I'm not telling. It's given me a rare opportunity to glimpse into the female world.

Denial of Service

Blog About: 


Experienced my first ever "Denial of Service" yesterday at a Sheri's in Hood River of all places. I've eaten in Hood River before, while out on one of my many sanity restoring "walkabouts". It was done carefully and craftily so I would not be able to file a grievance.

Donald Trump has made hatred even more prevalent than it ever was.

To those who have routinely been discriminated against, I am sorry that you had to go through that.

Deception of Choice

Blog About: 


This is likely the third time I have blogged about this story since it came out around 2005. I began to read it in a time when my leaving this world was as likely as staying, and oddly the struggles of the protagonist had a steadying effect on me. Years later, it is clear that my own transition was no more voluntary than David's. To the wise, stay clear of psych drugs, and Counselors.

I've Had A Lovely Time.

Blog About: 


Since 2004, life has been unimaginably hard at times but over the last 5 or so years it has gotten much easier. Being the odd sort that I am, I never really engaged with the LGBT folk's political agenda, choosing to simply be a woman. I've learned a lot about writing, but lack the talent to ever be a star. I'll likely be increasingly absent because, for now at least, I have lost interest in the whole male to female thing, and never had any interest in the female to male one.

Thankful for this site.

Blog About: 


I'll just be straightforward about this. I am alive because those at this site gave me a friendly place to come to pour out my heart, to cry and to become sufficiently distracted to stop actively thinking of killing myself. I was invited to come sometime in 2007, but had been lurking on this and other sites for year. My transition was so painful, like it is with most of us due to those here, I am alive.

No fooling here folks, the site has grown so much that I would not even want to think about it.

Be Careful What You Tell Your Shrink

Blog About: 


I sat with my Counselor of some 11 years today talking about some Meyers Briggs testing that was done on me in 2003 and a similar test done on me in 1966. In records that were with the 2003 tests was a test that said that I am an INFP (Meyers Briggs Personality Type). I can say that the assessment describes me perfectly and as she read the information, she somehow interpreted it to mean that I could react violently to certain situations. At the time I thought nothing of it but upon reflection simply can't figure out where she got that.

The Symbiont

"The Symbiont" was just in Random Solos, and I had just started reading it and I had to leave for a moment and when I came back the page was closed and now I can not find "The Symbiont" again and I am feeling quite cranky about it and I tried using Search but the confounded thing will not find it for me so would someone please help me find it again? On the verge of a good sob.


Insanity at the VA

Blog About: 


A couple weeks ago, I went to the VA to get a Doctor to look at a spot on my back that never heals, so I wanted to see if it was Cancer. Spent about a half hour with the doctor and left, and then in about a few days I get a call from another Doctor that said that she was told that I wanted to start living as a man again. What ?!? The!


Close Hauled On the Edge of the Winds of Plagiarism

Gwen Brown

As I have said enough times before that it is likely getting tiresome, I have been working on a story for years, perhaps fifteen of them. It’s been an off and on project and I’m not sure why I didn’t just sit down and finish it. Perhaps the answer is that the fates had not completed parts of it.

How many people are you?

Blog About: 


As authors, if we are going to be any good, perhaps we learn to sort of "be" other people since we must develop characters as we write a story and most often our stories have more than one person in them. As I have been thinking about this, perhaps lots or even most T folk learn to be more than one person in our real lives and each of them are very real. Then I thought about a police officer who must be an authoritarian figure at work, and when he gets home he is dad, hey you, or some such.

Languages: spoken

I did not wish to completely derail Julia's thread so decided to start my own.

Another aspect of languages, dialects and such is our ability to adapt to, even adopt the speech patterns of those around us. I am from Oklahoma Dust Bowl stock and when I get around them quickly begin to sound like them.


Lots of T folk, even post op ones, seem to feel the need to rat themselves out, even the ones who pass impeccably.

I have just been through a couple very tough and bruising weeks dealing with the Bathroom thing. It's very difficult to establish a balance between forgiving those who hurt us, and being very mad, incensed even at their ignorant and stupid position. In my case, having come from one of those groups, I feel quite qualified to beat them about the ears with their own clubs.

I'm feeling quite knackered now so will try to stand down for a while.


Blog About: 


Lots of good conversation going on in the news and on places like Facebook, where Target, the American Family Association and other sites feature homophobes.

Though participating in the commerce is exhausting, I think a lot of good is coming of it. I'm just too snotty and sassy to let some of what the ignorant are saying just go by. Though, the time will come when I need to step back and take a break.

Many on the news and in Facebook are sympathetic to our plight, something that surprises me.

So crazy, so insane

Taxonomy upgrade extras: 

Blog About: 


Life is bigger, too bigger for me right now. Why is it that the "50 Shades" trilogy makes so much sense to me; that I see myself in Anna, Christian and his subbies? Why do I vainly hope for that good ending? Why do I inwardly "rage against the dying of the light"? I've been tasked with writing a letter, my final appeal to a group of men that I have little respect for, and further my friends ask me to not be insolent and sassy, and disrespectful. They tell me that even if this last effort fails, at least it will benefit those behind me.

Our own stories are mysterious

Having gotten to what feels like a secure place in my own estimation personal identity, it is quite nice to not worry about it.

Lately I have seen the use of simile and metaphor in stories that I feel is quite clever. There are likely other literary tools that I don't even know about. I smile at the thought that some of you simply thought you were writing something that appealed to you, or you thought you were just writing out your pain, and along the way some of you have become very skilled at wordsmithing.

Explicit Sex Scenes

There was a time in my youth that I could not determine which was better, great sex, or a full dump. Miniature Ectomorphs tend to have issues with getting their digestive systems to work. As to the sex these days there is desire about once or twice a year. When I write about the 'act', it tends to be in the most vague of terms, since it is just much more important to me to hold or be held affectionately. Perhaps it is a bit of the XXY creeping in?


A few writers have approached me about their new stories and I do not know why anyone would seek my approval. I like reasonably well written stories but excessively violent stories and and those with sad endings are not likely to be read by me. I've seen just so much violence and sadness in my own life that I just don't want more. This should not be a reflection on any one's stories.

The Curtsey

Blog About: 


A story in Harper's Bazaar about celebrities meeting the Queen has a bit of a ruction going on Facebook. I've been around the world a bit and see no harm in respecting the culture of another country. If I went to Saudi Arabia, you can bet I would wear Niqab. If I went to the Jungles of South America, I am not sure I would run around in a few leaves, but not out of disrespect. If I went to Japan, I would try to find out about their usual greeting, and bow and say hai as is proper.

Your True Name

Joseph Campbell was a very well known philosopher and studier of comparative religion. Nowadays a significant number of the stories here are right out of mythology and lots of that interacts with ancient Jewish themes. I am intrigued by a story on the front page now where there is reference to one's True Name, and I am fairly sure that it originates partially from a book in the Old Testament of what Christians call Isaiah 56:4-5

Big Closet Top Shelf; a purpose should you choose it.

New authors here can make of this site almost what they choose to make it. The first sites I published on were cranky and one even altered some of my stories such that I almost did not recognize a few. Still they published me and I was grateful. In the 90's I wrote a lot and got chewed out, but improved a lot. The scope of my spelling and grammar errors was legendary.

I am most thankful that even in my early years here, starting around 2005, certain people still massaged my stories and the other day someone told me that I am doing much better than in the beginning.

Teaching in Saudi Arabia

In the last week or so, I corresponded with someone who is teaching school in Saudi Arabia, Maths I think. Was that someone here? I had hoped to talk with them further. I worry that accessing BCTS from KSA is very high risk and hope they are OK.

I'm taking a lot of pain meds right now, so my memory is a bit foggy. I want to say this now in case things go badly. I have felt loved and accepted here like never before in my life. NO drama, OK? I'll probably live but I just wanted to make sure I did not leave anything unsaid.


"Peaches" Revisited

I believe I read "Peaches" the first time when it was just out. I was likely in the middle of my own very traumatic emergence and likely did not enjoy it as much as I should have.

So, yesterday I downloaded it to my PC Kindle and read it again. It is a lovely and uplifting story and I enjoyed it very much indeed.

Ever Read Your Own Stories?

A story I was working on (Remember "Houston we have a problem"?) just flamed out and fell into the ocean. It is clear that I have different "writing voices", but I have a difficult time controlling that. I don't know what I am going to do with it now.

Today I read part of one of my first stories that was I published on Storysite first and then migrated it over to BCTS later. I now remember that Crystal was not that impressed with my writing at first, and I think she did some pretty heavy editing on both "MS Frankenstein" and "Desert Princess" though I don't know for sure.

Crossing unthinkable boundaries

Working on a story, I seem to have crossed an unthinkable boundary. In working out the details of a plot so that human colonists could flee Earth, I roughed in the idea that Israel attacked Iran again, and then the Iranians promptly detonated a nuclear weapon in Al Aqsa Mosque. Most westerners call it the Dome of the Rock. The Iranians had been quietly building the device for many years in preparation for such an event. When we toured Jerusalem, we were taken into tunnels said to honeycomb the area under that mosque.

Extremely ill and slow recovery

The counter thingie says I've been a pest here for slightly over 9 years or 2006. I first published at "Story Site" in 2001, probably after I returned from Kenya, completely shattered. My heart felt little dream of Christianity making the world a better place had been proved to be a vile, machiavellian. fantasy. I'd had shocking glimpses of the underbelly and droppings of the Missionary game. Then in a few weeks the 9/11 thing came, and the world came crashing in for so many of us, worst of all the occupants of the towers.

Shannara series

I know this is going to bump my other blog off but this is more important.

The new Series "Shannara" is OK but I think there are several authors here who could have written it better. It's a very loose combination of "Lord of the Rings" and Bailey's "15ft of Steel".

The thing is wound too tight for me and too much tension but the actors seem good.



Subscribe to Gwen Brown