Bimbos / Bimboization

Blonde Joke-15

Blonde Joke
Chapter Fifteen
by Jeffrey M. Mahr

 

And, of course, the ultimate blonde joke is, “What’s black and blue and brunette?”
A brunette that’s told one too many blonde jokes.

Some Enchanted Girlfriend -17- Take Over

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Some Enchanted Girlfriend

by Donna Lamb

17. Take Over

I came to moments later, sitting on the floor, propped against the wall, still naked–legs spread wide as if I were posing for a publicity shot from a Wendy Splendid movie.

Blonde Joke-14

Blonde Joke
Chapter Fourteen
by Jeffrey M. Mahr

 

How can you keep a blonde occupied for hours?
Give her a card that says, “Turn over,” on each side.

Some Enchanted Girlfriend -16- Reach Over

connie21.gif   
Some Enchanted Girlfriend

by Donna Lamb

16. Reach Over

The dessicated corpse-like thing on the bed nodded and turned stiffly to hand me the phone. It moved its mouth, too, making a noise like the wind rattling the top leaves of a palm tree. Now I know what the heebie jeebies sound like.

Blonde Joke-13

Blonde Joke
Chapter Thirteen
by Jeffrey M. Mahr

 

What does a blonde think an innuendo is?
An Italian suppository.

Some Enchanted Girlfriend -15- Call Over

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Some Enchanted Girlfriend

by Donna Lamb

15. Call Over

It’s rather a shock to discover that you’ve had a career as a pornstar that you didn’t know about. The Wendy Splendid movies ran the gamut from bondage with ropes and scarves to bondage with chains and science fictiony devices.

Blonde Joke-12

Blonde Joke
Chapter Twelve
by Jeffrey M. Mahr

 

Why don’t bosses let blondes take lunch breaks?
So they don’t have to retrain them if they find their way back.

Blonde Joke-11

Blonde Joke
Chapter Eleven
by Jeffrey M. Mahr

 

What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?
Run like Hell. She’s got a hand grenade in her mouth.

Blonde Joke-10

Blonde Joke
Chapter Ten
by Jeffrey M. Mahr

 

How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves?
She fell out of the tree.

Blonde Joke-09

Blonde Joke
Chapter Nine
by Jeffrey M. Mahr

 

When is it legal to shoot a blonde in the head?
When you have a patch and a tire pump to reinflate it.

Blonde Joke-08

Blonde Joke
Chapter Eight
by Jeffrey M. Mahr

 

Why can’t blondes put in light bulbs?
They keep breaking them with the hammers.

Blonde Joke-07

Blonde Joke
Chapter Seven
by Jeffrey M. Mahr

 

Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, a dumb blonde,
and a smart blonde are walking down the street
when they spot a $10 bill. Who picks it up?

The dumb blonde. There’s no such thing as
Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, or a smart blonde.

Blonde Joke-06

Blonde Joke
Chapter Six
by Jeffrey M. Mahr

 

How many blonde jokes are there?
None. They’re all true
.

Blonde Joke-05

Blonde Joke
Chapter Five
by Jeffrey M. Mahr

 

How many blondes does it take to make chocolate chip cookies?
Three. One to mix the dough and two to sort the M&Ms to remove the “W”s, “E”s and “3”s.

Blonde Joke-04

Blonde Joke
Chapter Four
by Jeffrey M. Mahr

 

What is a blonde with brunette died hair?
Artificial Intelligence.

Jason’s Secret Life

Jason’s secret life

By wargamerguy

Chapter one

I always wondered why hospitals couldn’t have more comfortable beds. Don’t they get millions of dollar? Why do they charge hundreds of thousands of dollars for even the simple operations? Well, I laughed to myself. Of all things to be wondering about, that was what came to my mind. I was sent here for another emergency. I was bit, and damn, it hurt a lot until the doctor came in. Then she got the venom from the bite
out.

Cresswell Industries Chapters 73-74-75

As Celeste begins to stir up her own claim to the Cresswell throne she enlists the help of Grace in getting what she wants, however Grace soon finds out that you can’t always believe a deceiver and as she becomes embroiled in Lady Melissa’s wayward adopted daughter’s plans, she also has to embark on the dangerous mission that places her in the sights of a cold bloodied killer, but does she have the character and skill to outwit such a dangerous and seasoned professional dealer in death.

Changing Cal: Chapter 4

Cal is a 16 year old boy who has been chasing the girl of his dream almost all his life. When some pesky nanites infect Cal and turn him into a girl how will he deal with it? Will he still be the same person or will he become someone else when the girl in him now takes over?

Cresswell Industries Chapters 70-71-72

Synopsis

It has been a long time in arriving and I duly apologise, but the success of the Metamorphosis stories has kept me busy and more importantly it has had to tie up with the Big Closet version and with that done I now have the time to fill in the spaces that only Cresswell Industries can fill.

However I will add that reading these on going chapters will in time reveal the plots surrounding Metamorphosis 2 and I would like to thank Erin for making the whole Cresswell phenomenon possible!

Stripper Candy Part 1

By the way, my name is Paul. I’m that creepy guy that sits in the back of post modern women’s history thinking of how I can get any one of these Femme Nazis to do anything remotely sexual with me, other than flirt and tease me about being a man in a woman’s major.

Tracy, the hottest girl in the group, suggested I accompany her to work tonight to meet her boss. So here I am dressing up in my best to meet a guy hoping for a job doing anything for money.

Stripper Candy

Part 1

By Olivia-Kate

Drabble Saga 28: Sleep On It?

"You want to sleep on it?" Larry asked.

"I don't think I can in this corset."

"A pill?"

"No. I'm going to read this contract again. Buy-out clauses. Extension options. Twenty-five hours a week for classes. Five days off a month and a three week all-expenses-paid vacation. But it doesn't say what 'personal services' are."

"Just being Dee Dee when the Boss wants to see you."

Drabble Saga 26: All Sewed Up

Ruby had him practice putting on and taking off makeup for most of the evening before finally disappearing about nine p.m.

Drabble Saga 24: Honeycomb

Ruby "unwrapped" Davey, or Dee Dee, as she called him when she wasn't calling him "baby," "honey" or "child."

Drabble Saga 21: Hertz So Good

"Frankie Al Nez will pay my rent, pay for my schooling, give me an allowance and all I have to do is dress like this" --Davey gestured at his tight leather dress-- "and read to him?"

Drabble Saga 20: Paging Doctor Dee Dee

Davey explored the apartment. The kitchenette had a small refrigerator, a three burner range-top, a tiny electric oven, a microwave and a sink, all surrounded by blond cabinetry. "It's so cute," he said.

Drabble Theatre: Foiled Robbery

The plan was brilliant — the three of them would dress up as hot chicks to rob the bank, so no one would have seen their faces. Plus, when they got to the boat, they’d ditch the disguises and no one would ever connect them to the three bimbos.

Drabble Saga 16: Recycled Pulp

"You have a sexy voice," said Frankie.

Uh oh, thought Davey, here it comes.

Drabble Saga 15.0: 1-900-HOT-COED

"Tell me about yourself," said Frankie the Nose.

Drabble Saga 13: Just a Giggle, Oh!

Larry held the door as Davey entered the apartment on the fourteenth floor of the Del Amo Hotel. A distinguished middle-aged man sat in an antique chair, a bottle of wine and two glasses near him on an elegant table.

Larry made an introduction, Davey didn't listen except to start when referred to as 'Miss Dee Dee LaTours'. It's Davey Towers, he reminded himself.

Drabble Saga 10: Dress for Excess

While Ruby dealt with Davey's falsies, Beth had depilated his legs then creamed and soothed them and painted his toenails. Stockings attached to garters and then the blue leather mini went on, fastened with a concealed zipper in the back.

Ruby and Beth surveyed their work. "Mm, hmm?" asked Ruby.

"Mmm," agreed Beth.

Drabble Saga 9: OEM

"Don't touch me!"

"I'm gonna show you ... ."

"You're not gonna touch me! Not there!"

Drabble Saga 8: Dee Disappearing Boy

It's like some fever dream, thought Davey. He stared into the mirror Beth held, staring at the woman staring back -- beautiful, bewildered -- and vulnerable.

Drabble Saga 7: Need to No

Ruby and Beth took Davey into the back. "So the mens can't see," the big woman explained.

They had him undress down to his underpants and squeezed him into a corset Ruby had brought with her, tightening the strings until he couldn't even gasp. Finally, she backed it off enough that he could breathe -- a little.

Drabble Saga 6: Itch

Davey wanted to scratch his nose but with both arms under the cloth -- bib? cape? -- tied around his neck, he couldn't.

Drabble Saga 5: An Expensive One

Beth quickly styled Davey's long straight hair into soft curls using only water and a curling iron.

Drabble Theatre: The Wizard of Ozzfest

"Dude, we HAVE to get back there and see Zodiac!"

"Noone gets backstage without a pass." The security guard pushed the two overweight men back.

"Cummon, we'll do anything!"

Miss O. Jenny

Miss O. Jenny
By Angela Rasch

I wiped a bit of dust off its imposing left fender before entering the coffee shop. My truck’s body had to be twenty-five degrees hotter than the air around it. On a day like today, a truck like mine could inflict a certain amount of pain on the unsuspecting.

Green Sun -17- Thirsty Work

hobiecart.gif "What would men like?" She glanced down. "Besides those."
 

Green Sun
Chapter 17
Thirsty Work

by Donna Lamb

Green Sun -16- Mirror, Mirror?

lookdown.gif  "Stop that," she told her naughty bits.

Green Sun
Chapter 16
Mirror Mirror?

by Donna Lamb

Josephine Bockkernodd | Chapter 3 - Meets The Judge of Traffic Court

“Order in the court!”

“Well, it is about time,” said Josephine Bockerrnod. “I am getting hungry. I will have a chocolate ice cream cone with ketchup on it.”

JOSEPHINE BOCKKERNODD
Meets The Judge of Traffic Court

Chapter 3

Josephine Bockkernodd | Chapter 2 - Josephine drives a car (or tries to)

“You know you cannot drive without a driver license,” screamed the nicely dressed non-intoxicated policeman.

“Sure I can. I put something in this here hole next to the wheel that the nicely dressed intoxicated gentleman uses to stir things with and I put this thang here in “R”, get my book about Dick and Jane and Spot and put my foot on that thang down there and the car goes, but there is always that there tree in the way.”
 

Josephine Bockkernodd Drives a Car (or tries to)

 
Supposedly written by Starla Anne Lowry
But she still will not admit it

Green Sun -9- No Accounting for Taste

"Blackberries are actual purple," said Bill, shortly before his head exploded.

.

blackberry.jpg
Green Sun
Chapter 9
No Accounting for Taste

by Donna Lamb

A Matter of Justice

A Matter of Justice
By Itinerant

Author's Note: This story is a sequel to "Turning the Tables" and is set the same 'universe' as Amazon.

Acknowledgements: My special thanks to Julie O, who graciously permitted me to use the Identity Spell from her story "Personal Foul".

**********
Wednesday, October 31, 2001
New Orleans, Louisiana
5:10PM CST

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