Bailey Summers

What's been going on.

Hey just letting folks know things have been extra busy IRL and am changing employers so there's been a pile of certs and recerts going on with that plus all the other things that goes with full time graveyard shift plus being the single caregiver to an aging parent.

I have been and am working on a bigger single too that's been dominating my brain as well.

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Images 63

*Before…

Ingrid actually comes down too during it all and she takes over just doing the cash for me actually doing a good job and knowing how to use the debit machine and all that stuff and I smile at her.
“You okay to do this?” I ask.
“Yeah, I need to do something to get off my ass instead of just feel sick and being stoned to get by.”
“That’s helping you though.”
“I want to try okay, I don’t want to be a freeloader and I’m lonely.”
Taylor says. “Good, welcome, you have customers!”
She and I laugh and we keep going.
We have to get her a stool after a bit but she’s good after that and Giselle ends up sticking close to both of us and out of the way. She looks at me and at her mom like she’s trying to get what changed, what got better or how.
I know Iggy sees it, feels it too and I can see her trying.

Trying’s all I can ask for.

It’s a start.

*And Now…

Images 62

“You’re such a glass half-full kinda chick Jenna.”
I grin and reach but look at her like that (can I have this?) about her croissant and she nods and I take it and pull a bite off with my fingers. “Yes I am and it’s milk and I come with a cinnamon roll too.”
She actually sort of snorts a little and shoves me off of her and we’re grinning at each other and it’s nice. I’m still a mess wearing a sheet and she’s a mess wearing an oversized *Hunter Valentine* Bed shirt and sweatpants but we’re like that…talking about sex and loves and serious stuff like faith and then sort of goofing off like this.
This is like it always could have been and should have been and I’m glad that I got this back.
Taylor comes in with a big tray for both of us and they smell really, really good. I look at him and he smiles. “Coconut crisp waffles and with them some lemon sauce.”
Giselle holds up one of those plastic motel/hotel coffee decanters that for some reason we have and shouts. “Lemin-sous!” followed by “I helps!”
I look at Ingrid and she looks at me and we kind of do this double mom’s thing together on the couch as my husband and our daughter serves us coconut waffles with this lovely sauce that’s hot but thinned out enough to pour lemon curd/pudding.
I love this, I love my family.

Sweet Dreams-67

Thing is that yeah there’s lots of people and you’d think you’d not be able to pick up someone coming at you but that’s actually wrong.

It’s like unless they’re trying to jump you on the sneak you can hear them taking those steps at you.

Ask folks that’ve been in real fights, there’s something that translates from attitude and intent into steps.

I turn and see Anika and Kathy plus someone I don’t know stalk/stomp waking right at me.

And that was just stupid as someone punches me in the head from behind with something metal that hurts! Not like the impact hurt but the fucking thing bit me!

I hear them laughing and I reach back and there’s blood and I pull a fucking staple out of my scalp.

*And Now…

Sweet Dreams-66

*Before…

It’s still a good day.

I’m wearing a cute outfit with black leggings and some nice but comfy actual shoes and not sneakers and a used pleated almost tweed skirt from the store with these really cool big buttons instead of the whole zipper thing and I’m wearing a black Iggy-Pop wild one t-shirt and a zip front hoody that’s one of Alex’s workout ones from the football team as my jacket and I’m in normal make-up actually just even pretty tame style for me and much more of an April taught thing and some simple jewelry.

Not too high end but not too punk give someone a hard time and not too goth to off put the preps and yet still rocking enough to rock the t-shirt and the retro skirt.

And with Alex with me and us actually still kind of still feeling the whole morning workout and all of that we’re getting looks and I take a drink of my coffee and start actually talking to people and it’s kind of great as I’m even actually remembering names as I introduce Alex who everyone seems to know anyways and yet we’re still a sort of mystery couple.

Breathing...Chapter 6

Terri and I get changed and we head off to the spare room and she’s been using that while she’s been living here and it shows with all of her stuff that she’s picked up since being here and we set up a bed in a bag which is pretty cool and loads better than a sleeping bag on the floor and her and I stay up for awhile watching It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia on her laptop.

I fall asleep after the second show.

It’s not too bad a show and kinda rough and raunchy but that doesn’t bother me. It’s just after leaving camp and coming home all in the same day and all the shock and stuff with my family and being full from supper I just couldn’t keep my eyes open.

My dreams sweep me up in visions of Moon lake and of being Robin in my hometown and no one knowing that I’m...was Rob but I’m just the new girl.

*And Now…

Touch Starved

Touch Starved

Touch starvation is actually a thing. The term for it that’s emerging in medical/psych circles is “skin hunger”. We as humans are meant to be much more social- and especially physically social - than we actually are, and most North Americans in particular are often touch starved because the casual, platonic contact that often happens between friends in other places just. Does not happen here.

It stops for so many of us “boys” when we’re pretty young. There’s this point where touch and care and comfort is either labeled creepy or gay.

Especially gay.

Masks 48

He’s looking between us and he says. “I thought she was cute on the bus so yeah anything she’s good with.”
Mary Jane says. “Friday night?”
“Sure, I’m pretty sure mom’ll be good with it.”
My mind’s still running in wait! What! Circles with him saying her thought me...She...was cute on the bus.
Me...She...her…
They were still talking when second bell goes off and I’m just still pretty much super shocked and all.
He’s headed off looking at his school map and I’m looking at Mary Jane.
“What just happened?”
She looking smug hands...well fingers sort of hooked into her faux pockets and says.
“You my girl might just have a date for Friday night.”
I’m staring at her and she slips in and gives me a one armed hug.
“Not bad girl he’s pretty cute.”
I…
A date.
I’m not sure I’m even into guys but a date...to sort of feel...possible...like things and good things could happen for me.
M.J. passes me some tissues as I’m smiling and crying all of a sudden.

*And Now…

Breathing...Chapter 5

*Before…

I sit back further into the couch and pull my legs under me. It’s more comfortable that you think only it’s just one of those really coded gender deals that guys or non-femme guys aren’t socially allowed to do.

“I’m actually still thinking of all the stuff ahead Dad. What is home going to be like or feel like and I kind of like being Robin but I have no idea how going back to Rob’s going to feel and then there’s school and town and the grandparents and just me trying to walk back into my old life and there’s just so much that’s changed about me.”

“Like being Robin?” He asks.

I nod and pull a small couch cushion in front on me and I hug it. “And the fact I like me, her, I like being Robin and that when I’ve been Robin I’ve met a guy and talked and danced and stuff and it was so much not the end of the world.”

*And Now…

Sixteen Feet of Steel Chapter 26

Sixteen Feet of Steel Chapter 26

*Before....

Nicole asks. “How far?”
Taylor looks at us. “Three days at least, I think that they’re cutting off any aid to it as they’re searching.”
Nicole looks at all of us. “Then that’s where we’ll be heading.”
Taylor looks at her. “We send back our badly wounded from this and word.”
She nods and looks at me. “Chrissy can you do more things with that light sphere?”
I nod. “I think so, what do you have in mind?”

Sixteen Feet of Steel Chapter 25

*Before…

Nicole gets one too but it’s a massive thing called an arbalest.

I look at her. “Are we expecting a dragon?”

She shakes her head. “No but a ship or ships perhaps.”

It seems like a lot until she and Taylor are talking and I get the idea.

Nicole doesn’t fire; she uses her Squire’sknight to pull the bow back to reload in moments if need be and with Taylor firing it takes on a whole other significance.

Jessa’s the easiest with mostly getting a sharpening of some of her things as well as a travel quiver pack like Taylor she just gets a lot of extra arrowheads.

Then we’re out and headed to meet up with the twelve squad of soldiers assigned to Nicole and again I’m a little awed at her getting the responsibility and Lady Marybeth is meeting us with her apprentices and a healer’s wagon.

Then we do a final check before we head to the Iron Rhino’s docks and we get loaded to go which takes hours and I actually help and not just let the porters or the troops do it.

It’s late or rather really early in the morning when we pull out with the iron rhino on the first run out west of the day here.

I should be tired and exhausted but this is the best that I have felt all week after all the things going on in my head and I’m standing leaning on the doorway of our car looking out as we’re passing through the city and building up speed more and more.

Apocalypse Snow

Breathing...Chapter 4

*Before…

Mom shudders. “Eeeeeww...Gin’s gross.”

Aunt Chris laughs at her. “That’s a reaction that speaks of a story, you’re so going to tell us right?”

I’m looking at Mom and so’s Terri and Mom’s looking at us and has this look on her face. “Holy...you two look so much like you’ve always been sisters.”

I look at Terri and she’s looking at me and she has that looking at me harder like she did before I left.

I step up and hug her. “I’m not sure about so much but I learned that I really want to get to know my sister a lot more…”

She hugs me back and she sniffles. “Me too!...I...I actually missed you when you went away for the summer…”

*And Now…

Breathing...Chapter 3

*Before…

We start walking in and I keep hugging her but I shift so it’s the girlfriend around the waist hip to hip walking together thing and we get a few feet before her eyes show that she’s realizing that we’re walking like that and she gets this look in her eyes that has all her smile lines in play and she starts back up walking with me and she even seems a little bouncy.

Uh-huh...Okay Mom’s really getting she’s just meeting Robin.

And I’m kind of excited to because this is Mom that Rob doesn’t get to see.

*And Now…

Breathing...Chapter 2

*Before…

I still am a total flight noob and loving it as much as I’m not ready to go home.

It takes so little time to get to Halifax.

And I do love how the city looks from up here and the harbor and citadel hill...it’s just kind of beautiful in that coming home way.

Then we’re landing and as I’m getting to baggage claim Aunt Chris and Terri’s there as well as Mom and Dad…

Oh shit...what do I do?

I wasn’t expecting our parents.

*And Now…

Squires-35

Jess Stone had breasts. He had been like this his entire teen life not quite fitting in anywhere that he had lived and at the same time he hadn’t really had the chance to. His folks moved around a lot with his dad being a hydrological engineer but they were slightly afraid of what might happen to Jess if he attended school. Some people just didn’t get it or wanted too. Jess was now attending a new school when he decided to change things...

Only it was everyone else that was getting changed!

Squires
by Bailey Summers

Copyright © 2012 Bailey Summers
All rights reserved.

 


Image Credit: anime couple

Alonely...Part three

*Before…

“Breakfast?”
I blink…it is morning.
“Oh…okay….that’d be nice will your folks be okay with it?”
“Thrilled.” He rolls his eyes. “I’m anti-social to the point of they’ll likely be fawning over you.”
I nod. “I can deal with that it’s better than the my kid’s an alien thing that mine treat me with.”
We get up and we head inside his house and he’s folding the blanket as best he can with what happened to his fingers. “Bad?”
“Bad enough my dad was kind of a homophobe and now he’d be grateful if I had a boyfriend I think…I’ve heard him call me the neuter when he didn’t think I was around.”
He looks at me. “Wow…what an asshole.”
I shrug…try not to get too upset again over it. “People have a hard time with asexual people…we don’t compute as much as trans people do.”
Trey gives me a nod and another smile like he’s trying to reassure me… “How about I just don’t try to compute you at all?”
I sigh… “Thank you…so…much…”
*And Now…

Bridges 49

*Before…

I do gush about Cass though and the call that lasted all night and the morning little stuff that she said and how that feels and I don’t hide the fact that I’m trans or that Cass and I are wife and wife and Tina’s good with it.

Actually she says that she hopes her daughter Nadine actually finds a nice girl sometime and I get this rant about how much she hates her daughter’s teenaged girlfriends and the super fourteen year old lesbian hormones and just how everything is just sooo dramatic and screaming when she’s not trying to keep each other out of their pants.

It’s funny and it’s not even with gay and lesbian and bi kids underage sex is still pretty serious stuff.

I grab my things and head back to triage and I look at the chart and then at the inpatient sheet for the next patient and I double check and then slip out to see if it’s true.

Oh damn, My Ex is there in the waiting room for outpatients waiting to be seen.

*And Now…

Covered Bridges-11.

*Before…

“Okay and Haley?”
“Yes?”
“Thanks for doing this. It’s really cool.”
“Well Frank’s a really nice guy and this is a lot more fun than spending the evenings watching cable in my hotel room.”
I slip through the doors and I go back to cooking.
I can feel Robyn watching my sway.

Absinthe, Opium and Honor…Chapters 45 & 46.

*Before…Jamie’s Part.

I start shutting the lights off and get my purse and my coat and the offer her my arm. “You like games?”
“Like an arcade?”
“Sort of but better.”
“Better?”
“You’ll see, you like Sushi?”
“I’ve never had it but I’ve always wanted to try it.”
“Good first the pachinko arcade then Sushi.”
I offer and she takes my arm and then looks at me. “What’s pachinko?”

*And Now…

Sixteen Feet of Steel Chapter 24

*Before…

My people loved my father and mother and they loved my eldest brother Justin as well. I grew up thinking that we were good folks and had few real enemies and we did well for our folk in our lands.

And that was one of those things that I was going to inherit third son or not. I was going to do things, do whatever I could to help the people in Lyonnes.

And that’s gone; well it’s gone for as long as it’ll take me to find things out and to get strong enough to maybe do something.

But here’s Nicole who has actually done it here today and I know that she’s done more and that she’s already held in high esteem with Lady Tatiana and very much by her folk here.

I’m in that mixture of both awed and wistful and jealous of it all.

But I’m still very, very proud of her too.

Squires-34

Jess Stone had breasts. He had been like this his entire teen life not quite fitting in anywhere that he had lived and at the same time he hadn’t really had the chance to. His folks moved around a lot with his dad being a hydrological engineer but they were slightly afraid of what might happen to Jess if he attended school. Some people just didn’t get it or wanted too. Jess was now attending a new school when he decided to change things...

Only it was everyone else that was getting changed!

Squires
by Bailey Summers

Copyright © 2012 Bailey Summers
All rights reserved.

 


Image Credit: anime couple

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