Catherine Linda Michel

My vision has returned for the most part.

I'm still going to try to get into the clinic today, or wangle an emergency appointment with an eye doctor, through the V.A. I want to thank everyone who expressed concern and gave advice over the weekend. It wasn't pleasant to not be able to read or drive, I can tell you that.

I'm still just a bit blurry, but not NEARLY so much as Saturday or yesterday when all I could see out of my left eye was an image that reminded me of a badly out of focus picture or an extremely "soft focus" scene in a movie.

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I'm havimg a serious problem with my sight.

My left eye, which is my primary one, is cloudy and I cannot read without great difficukty. Everything is as if seen through a film of vaseline. My right eye is clear, but cannot read unless the type is VERY large and VERY dark. I don't know what's causing this problem, and I hope it will go away within another day. It's been two days already and if it continues tomorrow, I will seek medical assistance.

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An Invitation to join my hometown Xmas Celebration, online, TONITE!

tonight (Friday 12/3/10) at 6:30PM E.S.T. My good friend, Mike is one of the M.C.s for the parade. http://www.jamestown360.com/

Please join me and my hometown in celebrating the holiday season.

Cathy

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Acceptance!!!

I just got home from an all day movie marathon at a friend's house, with new and old friends. The new friends are used to seeing me as Cathy, and they treat me as the female I present myself as, but two of the old ones hadn't ever seen me as Cathy, and I was a bit uptight when I got there. okay, I was a LOT uptight!

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Day Of Remembrance. Buffalo gathering.

I'll be traveling up to Buffalo for the observance, along with some others from our local support group. It's being held at:

******12th Annual International Transgender Day of Remembrance******

Nov 18 2010 - 7-9pm
Unity Fellowship Church
1420 Main Street
Buffalo, NY

"Trans people are still being killed."
An evening to reflect on our shared humanity of those who have suffered from transphobia, hatred and violence.

Please join us for refreshments and discussion groups after the vigil.

I hope to see many of you Western New Yorkers there.

hugs.
Cathy

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A day of triumph and tragedy.

I spent most of a couple hours talking with a GG who had no clue I was anything but what I presented myself to be...namely, me, Cathy. That's the triumph part. When she finally tumbled, she was blown away and completely complimentary, to the point where she wanted to exchange email addresses.

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Apparently I forgot to blog about this! Extra money from the V. A.!

I'm retired, mostly due to some health issues. So I'm drawing my Social Security benefits a bit earlier than I would have wanted to, resulting in a lower amount of money a month.

Just for kicks, I went to my V.A. rep and asked about the possibility of being eligible for a military pension, since I served 8 years, 4 more than the minimum enlistment in the Air Force, during the Vietnam conflict. He explained that if one served for more than 90 days in the military, during a period of conflict, one was eligible, depending on one's monthly income.

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Looks like the "Phantom Hitter" is at it again.

Since yesterday, my stories have received 117 total hits on them. While I'm pleased by the number of hits, it's very unusual to get that many hits on old works in one day, and I wonder if there isn't someone out there doing this on purpose? Numbers are fine and all, and I thank anyone who has taken the time to read my stories, but false increases are just that...false increases. Since there are no additional comments to accompany these increased numbers, I have to assume that they are false.

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Still Sick.

I am SLOWLY getting a bit better, but I am still way below normal functional parameters. Again, I apologise to those with whom I usually chat, but my awake times have been so erratic, and I've lost so much time that errands and tasks I'd planned to do, fell by the wayside and got bunched up. I have tons of stuff I have to do, and nowhere near time enough to do them all.

If there is a bright spot in all this, it's that the weather here is supposed to be nice through the weekend with lots of sunshine, so I can get outside and soak up some of it.

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Makeup. The Purchase thereof.

I recently purchased some Avon products from: www.youravon.com/peggyhicks and I find that I am very pleased with them. I met Peggy at The Southern Comfort Conference last year and I found her very understanding about us TG/TS/CD/whatever folks, and she is VERY discrete, respecting our need for secrecy/privacy.

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A nifty little shaver.

Having resorted to shaving my arms and legs, and face, with disposable shavers, and suffering innumerable cuts and so forth, I tried a new little shaver that works VERY well. It's called The Microforce and it's only ten dollars at Wal-Mart. To my pleased amazement, it works VERY well indeed, and not only on my appendages, but my face as well. It's battery operated, no recharging, and works dry or wet. I debated with myself about whether to buy a more expensive shaver, but I thought I'd try this little one first.

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Sara's Story - A Home That Love Built Story

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TG Universes & Series: 

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From Cathy. This story is darker and more emotional for me, than anything I've ever written. I cried when it came to me, I cried as I wrote it, I cried when I posted it, and I'll cry at every comment, hit or vote.
A Home That Love Built Story
Sara's Story
Rededication

Lessons Learned

I wrote this story and posted it, but unpubbed it because of the very real feelings and people involved. The story is true. I recently received permission from one of the people in the story to re-post it, so I'd like to enter it in the Summer Romance Story Contest. If it's deemed ineligible, I don't mind, but I wanted it here so others might learn from it. Thanks. Cathy.

LESSONS LEARNED

By Catherine Linda Michel

She sat on the edge of her bed, her head in her hands, crying as if she'd lost the best thing she'd ever had, and in so many ways, she had.

To borrow a line from Ross Perot,

Okay, now here's the deal.

I have agonized for months, re: my feminine presentation. Having somewhat low self esteem regarding my overall presentation, I have never, I repeat, NEVER considered myself female looking enough to be comfortable in public. That has gone by the boards. Over the last few months there have been more than a few instances where I have been accepted by people who have no other reason to accept that I am who and what I appear to be. To be accepted simply as just another female is still heady stuff for me, but I LOVE it!

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I'm in a foul mood tonight.

and the reasons are...well, many I guess.

Mainly though, at the bottom of it all, is one simple thing.

I've spent my whole life searching for "the one." I've looked everywhere and she seems to be either hiding, or I'm just too damn old and ugly for anyone to care about in "that" way.

Well here's a bit of news for everyone. Ugly people need love too!

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Surgery Update.

I'm back home. The surgery went well. It turned out to be not a hernia OR a cyst, but some kind of hydro seminal blockage or something like that. The upshot is they fixed the blockage and did take one of my testicles, so I'm halfway to an orchiectomy. This also helped allay some of my fears about undergoing surgery under a full anaesthesia, since I came through this well.

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Today is surgery day.

I'll be in Buffalo today at the Veteran's Hospital, getting some surgery done. Unfortunately it's not the surgery I would HOPE for... this is to remove a large, ingrown cyst from my groin area. Hopefully, while they're in the area, and they DO know my desire to have a couple of small trouble makers removed... oh well.

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My Transition Poem

I haven't posted anything for awhile and I decided to resurrect this oldie that I wrote when I started my transition, almost two years ago. I hope you enjoy it and I think it speaks to each of us attempting to travel the transition road, unsure of what will happen to us, but ever hopeful.

MY TRANSITION POEM.

Of all of the times in my long lonesome life,
full of anger and sadness and worry and strife,

the now, this moment, holds, it seems,
my hopes, my prayers, my choices, my dreams.

I stand on the threshold of change and renewal,

So. Sunday is Mother's Day, & A Bonding Experience between best friends

The year I began my RLT, I wanted to do something special for my best friend's daughter, my Goddaughter. So, I took her to a nail salon and we both had our nails done, both of us got acrylics. It was a special bonding thing for us both, I think.

Anyway, Sunday being Mother's Day, I racked my alleged brain trying to think of something special for my best friend, Tina. Now, Tina is not what you'd; call a girly-girl. In truth, she's more of a tomboy than anything else...however.

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I am puzzled. Please tell me why?

I have noticed that the stories being written in The Home That Love Built universe are receiving considerably fewer hits and comments than I feel they deserve. Are they not exciting enough? Are they TOO full of emotion? Do they perhaps, strike too close to home for most of you? Am I expecting too much?

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Update. Re: Medical problem. Surgery finally scheduled.

Another trip to the Buffalo VA hospital yesterday wore me out. However... I finally have a surgery date. May 17th. What I am suffering from, initially diagnosed as a hernia has now been re-diagnosed as an internal cyst. Basically it's a swelling in my groin area. There is very little pain involved, but it scared the hell out of me when it first appeared, as I covered in my first couple of blogs about this.

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63 years young today.

So why do I feel three days older than dirt? I'm so frustrated right now with the VA, with life, with damn near everything actually. I won't go into any of that in this blog, since you all have your own problems to deal with. Remember that BUTTON story that Grover posted? If that damned button was right here, right now, I'd jump all over that thing... in a freaking heartbeat, and have NO regrets about it after!

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A video featuring a speech that could be delivered by any one of us.

The video is from a STNG episode which had Ryker falling for an androgenous person from another world who's civilization frowns on having only one gender... in fact, they consider it a crime and they have a "cure" for the perverse members of their civilization who commit the crime of having tendencies of being only one gender.

The defense speech given by Soren, the love interest of Ryker, could be delivered by any one of us, whether we're TG, TS, CD, TV, IS, or whatever.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lXwWwaBMxK8

Watch, listen, and tell me what YOU think.

Hugs and love,

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The REAL Bikini Beach?

So...I'm watching TV a few nights ago, got the dish network now...LOTS more channels and less money than cable. Anyway, I'm on the computer at the same time when I catch a phrase from the TV about a place called, BIKINI BEACH!!!!

Well, of course my ears perked up and I switched my full attention to the TV and what did my unbelieving ears and eyes see and hear? An honest to god commercial about The Bikini Beach Resort and Motel!!!!!

Here's the URL: http://www.bikinibeachresort.com/

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Post, post, maybe pre-thoughts about the Southern Comfort Conference

It's been 6 months since I attended my very first TG conference, SCC 2009 in Atlanta Georgia. It's taken me all this time to organize, collate, and digest all I learned and experienced there.

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Lost in melancholia and reverie.

I've spent the better part of the last two days lost in remembrance of those I loved who are gone. My parents, my best friend ever, Mikey, John Denver, Mary Travers, Mamma Cass, Karen Carpenter, KimEm, and so many others.

Memories. They come as comfort and pain together, wrapped in smiles and tears, heartbreak and wonderment. I've lost or left so many friends, in so many places that I cannot recall some of them. Imagine that. People who I called friends and was called friend by them...and I can't remember their names...or even their faces. Yet I miss them, one and all.

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Okay. So here's the deal.

After a sleepless night (up at 1AM and couldn't get back to sleep) I was picked up at 6AM for the trip to the VA hospital in Buffalo N.Y. It snowed all the way there, sometimes reducing visibility to less than 100 feet. The roads, even the interstate, were not good at all, and we saw many cars and trucks off the road in the ditches.

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I'm finally back from Buffalo,

but I'm too wiped out to write anything right now. I'll blog tomorrow. For now, let's just say that my worst fears seem unfounded. There IS a problem, but not such a serious, life threatening one.

Thank you all for caring.

Hugs and love,
Cathy

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My apologies to everyone, for being a bitch, and

for having been, over the last few weeks, ungrateful, forgetful, and just generally, a bitch. I can only plead a plate seemingly overfull of everything from my own health, personal problems, other's troubles, and many other things.

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Apparently some of you have the wrong idea,

so let me set the record straight. Tina and I ONLY have a platonic relationship. That all it has ever been, that's all it will ever be, and I am FINE with that. It's being completely alone in the house that has me spooked. As for a pet...NO freaking way. Been there, been tied down by it, Won't do it again.

I hope this clears things up from my last blog.

Cathy

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The last few weeks have been very difficult for me.

I have, no doubt, alienated some friends, and have been generally hard to get along with. I know that my health issues are certainly a big part of this. Not knowing exactly what's going on with my health is preying on my mind. Additionally, there is some pain associated with what's going on, and that makes me irritable as well.

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Now I lay me down to sleep.

I pray the Lord, my soul to keep.

If I should die, before I wake

I pray the Lord, my soul to take.

this is not a suicide note. it's only me, trying to deal with more loss than anyone should have to.

I'm tired, and I want to sleep...that's all...just sleep. Don''t call. Don't message. Just let me sleep. at least in sleep, I can dream I've not lost.

goodbye.

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Update re: Health Problem

It appears, at least on the surface, that whatever is going on in my nether parts is not cancerous...at least on first examination. More tests will be run when I get to the VA hospital and further causes/ solutions will be found/discussed. A partial orchiectomy is not out of the question, although I will lobby for taking both as long as they are going to be taking one. I mean, as long as they are RIGHT THERE...you know?

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I don't know how to say this, but I might have a serious health problem.

I have recently become aware of a growth in a very sensitive internal area. There is some minor pain associated with it. I am scheduled to see a doctor today and, depending on his diagnosis, I may have to go to Buffalo for surgery, since the V.A. is the only health provider I have.

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Status of stories in The Home That Love Built Universe being posted elsewhere

So far, I have posted the stories, with the exception of Megumi-Chan's, to the TG fiction list, and Sapphire's Place. I have begun posting them to Stardust, and Piper will be hosting them at her site as well.

As soon as I hear from Megumi, I will include her story along with the others. Thank you writers for your help, co-operation, and involvement with this new universe. As you all know, it means a LOT to me, and others.

Hugs and Love,
Catherine Linda Michel

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URL for all Home That Love Built Stories

All stories linked to the Home That Love Built universe, can be viewed with this url. My thanks to theTop Shelf administrators for their help with this.

http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/tg-universes-series/-home-that...

Hugs and love,
Catherine Linda Michel

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ATTENTION! All writers who are writing in The Home That Love Built universe.

I would like your input regarding posting your stories at other sites. specifically, The TG Fiction List, Storysite, and Stardust, and Piper's site, Story Portal.

If you all agree, I'd like to begin posting our stories at those sites. I will NOT post any of your work without your specific permission. They are YOUR stories and YOU decide where to post them, but I would really like to spread this universe to include writers who use those other sites. To keep canon, it would be a great help to have the stories already written by you, for reference to be used by others.

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To everyone who read and commented on Sara's Story.

I want to thank you all for your kind words and the seeming involvement you got from my story. I hated writing it, I hated posting it, I hated everything about it.

I didn't choose to write Sara's Story. For real, IT chose me. There are writers here who put my poor efforts to shame, and any one of them could have done a much better job than I did. I wish one of them had been chosen instead of me.

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Sara's Story Chapter 6 - The Final Chapter - A Home That Love Built Story

Sara's Story. Chapter 6 The Final Chapter. A Home That Love Built Story by Catherine Linda Michel

Sandra led me to the room I'd been using and sat me down on the bed.

Sara's Story Chapter 5 - A Home That Love Built Story

FROM THE AUTHOR: This will be the Penultimate chapter of Sara's Story. It may take a day or two for me to post the final chapter. This story has been very emotionally charged, and difficult for me to write. I'm not happy about the story, but as someone else said, it's a story that needs to be written. It's my misfortune to have been the one selected to write it. I'm probably not the best one to have been chosen,but as I said, I didn't choose to write this story...IT chose me, so I've done my very best to tell it.

Sara's Story Chapter 4 - A Home That Love Built Story

Sara's Story. Chapter Four. A Home That Love Built Story, by Catherine Linda Michel

“Hi Cathy.” She said tenderly, as I woke. “I'm under orders from a doctor, a nurse, and Irene. I'm to see that you ea everything on this tray, and then lay down for a nap, unless a call from ICU comes in, asking for you, so please help me out here? Eat everything, like a good girl, so you can regain some strength?”

Sara's Story Chapter 3 - A Home That Love Built Story

Chapter Three-Sara's Story. A Home That Love Built Story by Catherine Linda Michel

From Before: Shawn Jackson was the child's name, but in his tirade, the father had blurted out another name. Sara. That's the name he said that his little perverted freak of a son was calling himself!

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