I THINKI once started a rather offbeat TG Alien Sci Fi story, and lost it when my laptop got stuck in the trunk when we were moving to Ohio from Oregon. The temperature was 104 degrees at times and the poor thing just fried. Everything I was working on was gone. Recovery efforts were futile. That was in 2009.

I suddenly remembered said tale a couple weeks ago, and am rewriting it now.

I've been "out" for 16 years and really out for about 10 years and never been bothered. It does not seem credible that I could have looked so female that no one twigged to my being T?

In the last week, two sites that I go to, one of them Facebook seem to have gone completely perverted. I've always run a low "friend" count because I don't think that people I don't talk to at least by PM are my friends. Facebook is only suggesting folk who are porn queens, so I have unfriended so many folk. Don't intend to be mean, look at what you want to.

I'm reading "The Trials And Tribulations of a Girl" for the second time, and had a little trouble connecting with the idea of a Boy who can look like a Girl. Well there is Andrej Pejic, who has transitioned, but I thought they were quite rare. I had the problem but after about 9 years old...

I am watching a YouTube video about a tractor show and here is another one! This is very surprising to me. I think he could look like a girl with just a change of clothes, some light makeup, and perhaps a wig? Wow, just wow!

Just sitting here in the very early morning wondering?

When did you first suspect that you had a girl in you too?

Just wondering actually. Nothing more.

Blessings

Gwen

So some guy asked to trace my Family History, ala Mormon style, and I told him that I didn't even care. I gave him some information and he found my purported family. Along the way, he turned up yet another person that I never heard talked about or met that I know of. In the generation I'm from, women with children had to do all sorts of things to just survive. Yeah, worse than 50 Shades, I think.

Then, I find that one of my brothers is not in the birth record under any name ???

I'm thinking that a man named RED ELK was my real father ???

Is there a story in this???

I mean this entirely respectfully towards the troops of Canada, Scotland and any other country involved.

So, was just watching a YouTube Video called, "The Devil's Brigade. Here come the Canadians", and now I have questions.

In the clip when the Canadian troops marched into the base, The Bagpipes were in front, about 16 of them. Then came Male troops in Kilts, about 20 or so of them. Then were perhaps 100 Troops in battle pants and blouses.

I've belatedly realized that much of what I have written has been various parts of a larger story, but not in order. Slowly, over the last nearly 40 years of writing, hopefully I've gotten better at it.

If anyone reads what I have written, I've tried to be optimistic, and romantic in the face of a lot of real life pain. Much of my novel is showing some semblance of order, but it is not finished, and may never achieve the artistry that I had desired. That is a disappointment.

My computer is being muleish, and it took two tries to get it running this morning. Everything started but I had no icons along the bottom of the screen. (Win10). By clicking on a thumbnail for a word file, word still worked, so I assume that part of a startup file did not run.

For those of you who do not know me, in my stories I try to authentically depict other cultures. I've had at least some exposure to cultures outside of America, and for those who are unaware, there are lots of cultures that are nothing like ours. A few folk have said that I do a lot of teaching in my stories.

In my stories, I've depicted Aliens, Fundamentalist Mormons, and Arabs, some innocent, and others not so innocent.

I just finished, for the second time, "Amadeus Irena", by Shauna and found it absolutely engaging. Parts of the tale approach 500 Kudos, a count that may be the highest ever on BCTS, and I agree with those who voted.

Sitting here, reflecting on what other works have impacted me in a positive way, I've made a short list:

Of course there is "Bike". It was lovely, realistic, and encouraging. The Author has moved on and I hope for the best for her.

Just sitting here thinking about the impact that the movie "Arrival" has had on me. I've been seriously ill, but seem to have cheated death again, and then had a dream this afternoon that my now being a woman was a 'punishment' because I'd done such a pathetic job of being male. Yes, talk about demented, frightening dreams, yallah !!!

I'm going to try to eat, and if I do not feel better by morning perhaps go to the Hospital ED in the morning?

I was surprised to see this story. I wonder if this is fake news?

https://www.bbc.com/news/av/world-latin-america-48271140/ins...

We all know the realities here. At 72, I'm still stronger than a genetic woman my age or younger. Please don't do this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NIlq85dL0C4

It is sobering to finally understand that perhaps much of my hiding in the shield of extreme religion is that I did not have to address actually doing what a woman does. There have been a few men my age actually "hit" on me and I've effectively run screaming down the street. And, it is well known that when some men find out about you, even if you are Post Op and look the part, they can be very dangerous.

I've even repulsed the men that knew and not because I am so holy, but because I was frightened to death, yikes.

Disclaimer: I am not suicidal.

Years ago, right after I came out, and went through all that happens to us, I was extremely depressed, and hospitalized several times. Such pain and depressive episodes is common amongst those in our community, so I am nothing special, and do not need anyone to call the Police. It was a very fortunate thing that I served in the Military 66-69, so am seen as a Vietnam Era Veteran, so the VA has been very caring of me in most ways. I sometimes feel like an interloper because I did not see combat.

Over the years I have experienced the loss of many of my stories due to the failure of storage media. Lately, I've tried to back things up with portable USB Hard Drives, and Thumb Drives, and all seem to fail eventually. A Story that I started back in the late 70s is still with me because the whole thing was printed out on a Dot Matrix Printer. I hope to eventually get back to work on it.

I can change a clutch on a 50 Ford hay truck, give shots to an ailing farm animal, and change a 300 HP 3 phase electric Motor, but I find computer software to be intimidating.

I'm encouraged and inspired enough to finally finish a story that I started in 2009, Hala's Snow Day. Cowgirl Hala, 2016 was the sequel to it, and I have the rest of it sitting on my Hard Disk in various states of completion. My list of published stories is a right mess and I am sorry for that.

Another Writer that I have enjoyed so much was Amethyst. She was working on "Twice Removed" and stopped. Another professional work suddenly abandoned. I hope that whatever she moved on to is satisfying and pays well.

Blessings to you Amethyst, wherever you are.

Gwen

I was digging through my stories just now and am amazed that several of them have gotten over 100 kudos! Thank you.

One of them, "Balmoral" was published in June last year. :)

I had started to write several other chapters to "Hala's Snow Day", but with RL wearing me down, had sort of abandoned the effort. I hope that the files are still lying where I left them, assuming that Microsoft has not done anything untoward with them. I still dislike the way that win10 manages files, but I have not one single gene of computer nerd in me.

I think that anyone who wants to can follow the "Jazz Story", and it seems to me like there is a lot of hype going on, but to be fair, perhaps she is having problems?

I have never seen a Trans girl look as good and sound as good as her. Is that what a lot of coaching and surgery can do or is she actually Intersex? At any rate, I wish her the best.

These days, with all that's going on around us, I'm having a very hard time managing things, as I am sure some of you are also. Certain things are triggering me worse than I can ever remembering them doing. I promise, no drama, as much as I can manage it.

A close friend of mine sent me a short article that explains a bit, so perhaps it will help some of you also?

http://healthland.time.com/2013/04/30/abused-children-may-ge...

Much peace.

Gwen

Not completely sure about this. I lifted it off a spanish page. It appears that Facebook is closing, and it is dated 2019.

Read Angela's story about the big juicy Football player and the effeminate boy. Gosh, I hope they get themselves sorted.

Somehow the story hooked me into one of those teary mindsets, you know, the ones you could break out of if you wanted to. It's only about 1:30 AM here and I think I just want to wallow in my misery for a while. Yeah, just be a sloppy, weepy, pathetic old tranny that most just wish you would just shut up or die.

For a while there was a story called, "Who The Hell Am I". I haven't seen an installment in a while. Did it exist or was it a hallucination caused by a high fever? It was NOT ,"Who Am I?"