Hrist

Proofreader wanted

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I'm working on a new story and would love to have it looked over before I post it.

The themes involve love, hate, betrayal and ultimately redemption, with a healthy dose of malevolent magical transformation. The preliminary title is: The Chain Letter.

It will probably be 5-10 parts in 3-5 page increments.

Please PM me if interested and I'll send you what I have so far to see if you'd like to read and help improve the tale as it goes.

Thanks!

Hrist

Falling . . . 3

Falling . . . 3

“Nick!” Izzy yelled sharply as a rock half the size of the car hit the pavement behind us.
More rocks of varying sizes crashed around us as I fought to escape the cascade. Screeching tires wailed in my ears as the smell of burning rubber filled my nostrils. Finally we burst clear then the car shuddered as if a giant had hit it. Metal screamed as granite smashed into Isobel’s side of the Mustang, pushing us towards the far side of the road and the steep, tree strewn cliff below. I had just enough time to grab Izzy’s hand before we plunged over the side, and into the abyss below.

Falling . . . 2

Falling . . . 2

“Either I’m in a hospital or purgatory.” I thought as a hysterical giggle tried to sneak past my lips.

Cool blue walls surrounded me. To my right sat beeping monitors and displays. My entire body ached as if I’d gone 12 rounds with Mike Tyson, or fallen more than 20 stories into the sea. I gazed down at myself as the memories flooded my mind; the fall, striking the water, the black void beneath the waves.

My . . . my body!

Falling . . .

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If anyone has a chance to check out my new story, Falling, I'd love some feedback on a plot device.

I'm still trying to decide the manner in which the main character, Nick, switches bodies with the girl who was falling. I've considered the Great Shift, or some other kind of cosmic intervention that places the soul of a person that wants to live in the body of a person that does not.

This story is loosely based on a news story I heard about a 16-year-old girl who jumped from the Golden Gate Bridge.

Accent Advice

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As I move forward with the Lock of Golden Hair, one challenge the main character, (Steve), will have to face is thinking in another language.

In order to communicate with his family and classmates he will translate to English and then speak.

As such, he will speak with an accent.

I want to convey this to the reader without making it really annoying to read. Any suggestions?

The Lock of Golden Hair Part 2

The Lock of Golden Hair Part 2

Not So Nice 'n Easy

goldenlockonredcroppedresize75.jpgLisa's eyes widened and a small grin broke across her face as she took in Steve's lightening and lengthened mane.

“What happened? Lose a fight with a bottle of peroxide?”

“Ha-Ha,” Steve retorted, frowning darkly. “Can we please not talk about this on your front porch?”

Tales from a Tangled Skein Part 1: The Lock of Golden Hair

Tales from a Tangled Skein

Prologue: Frayed Ends

goldenlockonredcroppedresize75.jpg
Steve Danielson is your typical teenage overachiever; popular, athletic, and bright, if a bit shy. But an ancient legacy is about to change his life forever.

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