Kat Walker

Misdirection! :-D

sigh.

While I continue to struggle with advancing the three open tales I have on BCTS, I decided to stall for time and try to make a case that I was not in fact deceased.... (perhaps, at worst brain-dead ....or suffering from dormant muse syndrome) by posting something entirely different.

The good news is that it is self contained and should leave no reader with a case of "And then....?" syndrome.

Roomies - Part 9

“I'll have a glass of your house chardonnay” Becca said and the bartender turned to me. “Club soda with a twist.” I smiled to disapproving looks from the others.

Lauren was looking the most annoyed, so I addressed her.

“I'm feeling dangerous enough in this dress. I'm not adding alcohol.” I tried a reassuring smile.

“God, Chrissie said you never have any fun. Now I know why.” she said dismissively. “But if you think you're designated driver forget it. No one drives my Lexus but me.”

“I can cab home.” I smiled.

“If you cab home after all we did getting you looking this hot, there is no God!” Becca laughed.

I think only Tina caught my panic response before I tamped it down, quickly replaced by a polite smile.

Throwing things against the wall

Never underestimate the power of guilt. :-)

I have never stopped writing. I have just stopped believing any of it was worth posting.

Out of an overwhelming sense of shame that I have abandoned the characters in my tales and the readers who have taken the leap of faith to invest their time reading ....works in progress... I have - very reluctantly - posted slight additions to three of my unfinished tales.

They don't terribly advance the narrative. Their purpose is more to show that I have not given up on telling any of the stories.

Summer of Love - Part 14

Life went on. I worked my crazy schedule of part time jobs, still volunteered at the shelter when I could, but I couldn't shake thoughts of Kesey when I was there and I slowly began to emotionally withdraw to the point where Maria and Steve noticed. They were kind enough to ease me out and make it seem like a mutual decision. I truly believed them when they said they would miss me, but they were already missing the old me while the withdrawn me was still there. We all agreed it was time for a change, wished each other well and promised to stay in touch.

Secondhand Life - Part 50

The Philippines gig was cut short. We did some press interviews but no live events. It seems the movie was less of a cult hit and more of a lightening rod. Conservative Catholic groups were quite upset about the story of a priest who fathers an illegitimate child. But still, Eoin wasn't the one getting the death threats. It seemed there was a much bigger furor over the 'harlet' who tempts the priest to break his holy vows.

“These people DO understand, don't they, that we're actors playing roles?” I asked one of the interviewers, who just replied with a noncommital shrug.

Roomies - Part 8

By the time I got to Olive garden, Tina and her friends were working on dessert and Tina was nursing an espresso. I raised an eyebrow at Tina the part time barista. She read my mind.

“Just checking out the competition” she smiled raising her demitasse cup to me.

I nodded back with a smile.

“So Chloe... where you been keeping yourself girl?” Tina's friend Lauren asked.

“Oh, I was just exploring Greenville....” I smiled.

“Ooooh. City mouse!” Suzie chuckled.

Roomies - Part 7

I wanted to see the town, but it was already well into the evening, so I decided to get a good night's sleep and 'do the town' well rested the next morning. As I went to put my phone on its charger, I noticed a text from Tina.

“Thanks for meeting my friends. They love you and say I did well ;-)”

I grinned at texted back. “Glad to hear. I thought they were great too. …..Could any of them talk with your dad? :-)”

And I pulled the comforter up and drifted off to sleep.

Roomies - Part 6

I settled into my bed & breakfast, which was just as charming as it seemed online.

I met Charles, the proprietor and his mom, Mrs Claypoole. After I got settled, they invited me downstairs to share tea. We chatted and I got an interrogation every bit as thorough as Tina's father. Only this was amiable and seemed based on genuine curiosity. It was also 'full duplex' as my father the engineer would say. I learned at least as much about them as they did about me.

Deeply ambivalent

Thanks to all the folks who P.M.'d me. ....kind of a 'wellness check'.

I'm fine. My muse..... seems to be M.I.A.

Against my better judgement, I'm a few keystrokes away from posting the stuff I've been holding back. It feels forced and ...not good enough.... to post.

Still, the need to prove that I haven't been 'slacking off' is overpowering my lack of confidence in the stuff I'm ....laboriously... cranking out. When entwined with the muse, things just ....flowed.

Distrusting the muse :-(

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Not dead. (Yet) ;-)

As numerous PMs inquired. :-)

Just wrestling with the muse.

SERIOUSLY wrestling with the muse.

I've churned out a lot of my 3 open stories (Secondhand Life, Summer of Love and Roomies) - and coming back a day later to read over, decided none of it was worth posting. :-(

I'm not sure whether the muse let me down or that self-doubt caused me to smother her...

Roomies - Part 5

Tina chatted animatedly on the phone for a few minutes, then put it back in her purse and turned to me.

“My friends want to meet up. Any chance I could catch a ride?”

I smiled. “Sure. I want to check into my B&B, but I can drop you on the way” I smiled.

Tina gave a little pout. “Oh. I was hoping you could meet my friends. And that they could meet you.” she said with a slight trace of dejection.

I shrugged. “Well, sure.... but it really will have to be a quick 'Hi' and 'Bye'... I really have to check into my room.

Roomies - Part 4

Tina's mom reheated some manicotti and fixed a fresh garden salad.

Tina's dad handled the grilling.

“So how long have you two known each other?” He stared at me.

“It feels like a lot longer that it's actually been” Tina laughed. “It's really just been over a month, but it's like we've known each other forever. Sometimes someone comes along and you really click.... you know?”

Tina's mom nodded smiling. Her father almost hid his grimace.

“You met at work.” He said dryly.

Secondhand Life - Part 49

All I wanted to do on the plane back was sleep. But Dennis was well rested and over-curious, so my exhaustion would have to wait.

'Well? How was it?'

I shot him a weary stare. “Can I tell you tomorrow?”

“No. You most certainly cannot! Dish girl. Was it really the steaming mess we thought? How was Will Forte? Did you meet Brian Doyle Murray? Was there anyone else famous there? How was the director? ...Who did they get to replace Adam McKay?”

Roomies - Part 3

I always gave all the credit to Tina. It was her world, her story and her imagination. I just put a tiny little Prince-like glyph which was a convoluted graphic jumble of my last name. I remained blissfully anonymous, but eventually Tina mentioned to some fan that she didn't do the art.

The buzz over the 'mystery artist' snowballed the more I tried to protect my privacy. I enjoyed being an enigma. Who I was in people's imaginations seemed much more interesting than my rather mundane real life.

Secondhand Life - Part 48

Michael and I were just unpacking when my phone rang.

I was not surprised that it was Dennis. “Katherine needs a favor.”

“So what else is new?” I laughed. “Does it involve being auctioned off? Parading half naked in front of an auditorium full of people – and network TV cameras? Recording an album under her name?” I was joking, but Dennis' demeanor became even more shy and uncertain.

“Uh. This is kind of a lot more.”

Secondhand Life - Part 47

I saw Matt again the next morning as he and Nancy saw us all off at the plane. We kept it light and civil. We had already had our private moment. This was just the public scene we both had to play, and we got through it.

Nancy however was a different story.

Roomies - Part 2

We quickly settled into our new routine. Tina had classes and study groups and hanging with her friends and working at the coffee shop. I had my two jobs and otherwise raced home to get back into Chloe mode. I had hoped to find the time to get back to my artistic ambitions, but household chores seemed to take more time than I expected. It's not as if my housemates didn't share the workload. Well, at least Tina did. And even Zoe was a substantial improvement over Colin and Dale.

Noel, - No, I MEAN it - NO "L" !!! :-)

Haha - I sat at my PC intending advancing my 3 narrative items but hit -- typing issues

After 'crunching the issue' I noticed a strip 'a keys - the #9 key, the "o", "l" and period key were suddenly dead!

I thought of trying to write avoiding the consonant, vowel, digit and punctuation, but the challenge proved too daunting

...as the last sentence proves.

I blame YOU Frank O'Connor!

Whenever I get stalled on one story ...or my A.D.D. muse gets distracted... I'm more inclined to 'change channels' than to just 'turn off the set' and walk away....

Why is it easier to start things than to see older existing things through?

I fully intend to finish the two tales I've already stretched out so far.... Secondhand Life and Summer of Love both have conclusions I still love and am just meandering my way to... even if the here-to-there is still a bit fuzzy.

Roomies - Part 1

I don't know what possessed me to do it. I never go out alone. Well, I never go out clubbing alone. But try as I might, I couldn't talk any of my girlfriends into a spontaneous night on the town. It probably didn't help that it was a Thursday and they all had work in the morning. Still, I had been working all day and I desperately needed a change of scene. So I made up my mind, tucked my pepper-spray into my purse, and decided to check out that new place that I'd been hearing about.

Secondhand Life - Part 46

I joined Eoin and Matt in the coffee shop, and had Eoin brief us on 'what we missed'. I didn't let on that I had already been briefed by Dez, but wanted to see the expression on Matt's face if Eoin's description was anywhere as detailed as Dez's. I was not disappointed. If anything, Eoin's retelling was even more lurid and juicy, and Matt's expression was priceless.

“Now I'm wishing I'd stayed. I could have made a fortune with those photos!” he opined.

Secondhand Life - Part 45

When I got back to my suite, Dennis informed me that Matt wanted me to call him.

“No need. We just met in the coffee shop.” I smiled.

Denis grinned. “I just got off the phone with him. He seemed a little embarrassed.”

I rolled my eyes and called Matt.

“I'm still fine.” I smiled as he picked up the phone.

He laughed. “Jeez, I'm not that worried. No.... it's just... you sort of derailed me at the coffee shop. That wasn't what I wanted to talk about.”

Secondhand Life - Part 44

While Dennis and his crew were rounding up the supplies and going over the logistics for tonight's performance, Matt texted me asking if I had a few minutes to join him in the coffee shop.

This time I had the presence of mind to dress more modestly, and only received the usual amount of head turns as I made my way to the coffee shop.

Secondhand Life - Part 43

I had hoped to sleep in, but Mikey woke me like a five year old on Christmas morning.

I scowled and wiped the sleep from my eyes while he kneeled next to me atop my covers nearly bouncing with excitement.

“...What?....” I grumbled groggily. “More shark stuff?”

Mikey just grinned from ear to ear shaking his head 'No' and thrust his iPad in my face.

It was an online video of the previous day's E.T.

Secondhand Life - Part 42

I nearly blew it, gleefully toying with the hapless Nancy the night before, but Matt managed to talk her down from her panic attack and rebuild her sense of intrigue at the opportunity of an entire day studying the enigmatic, and clearly pathological Katherine.

Nancy still seemed skittish when she and Matt joined me in the lobby to begin our grueling day of guerrilla shooting. True to their word, Rei and Andy had a number of outfits, manufactured overnight and perfectly sized to fit me like a second skin.

Summer of Love

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If I didn't live through them myself, I'd believe the '60s were a myth.

They say the decade was all about Sex, Drugs and Rock & Roll. I can vouch for the Rock & Roll. As for the other two, I'd say the aftermath of the '70s & '80s is strong circumstantial evidence.


Summer of Love


Kat Walker

Secondhand Life - Part 41

When I arrived at the hotel ballroom, I found no signage or indication that anything was going on inside beyond the two burly guys in tuxedos bookending the doors. As I walked up to the door, they each slid to the side, coming together to block the door. One produced a clipboard, and I announced “Ka...”

The guy looked up at me, then to his bookend, who gave him a glare like 'you have to ask?'. The bookend stepped aside and clipboard guy quickly followed betraying the trace of a sheepish look.

Secondhand Life - Part 40

I actually managed to doze before we hit Hawaii. I found myself resisting Dennis' gentle nudge. Then his annoyingly coy whispering – blowing actually – in my ear. I was too sleepy to recognize his playfulness, so at the time it only registered as mild annoyance. I kept trying to flick his face from my ear as he blew into it like a roadie testing a microphone.

“Helooooo. Yoo hoo..... Earth to sleepyhead..... wakey wakey.....” blow blow blow. Nudge nudge nudge. “Rise and shine baby. We're here.” I felt him lean in really close as he whispered “Time to get laid.”

Muse Wrestling (Worst. Sport. EVER!)

I think I promised/threatened a long, long time ago that I would not post anything new for either of my two open tales - Secondhand Life and Summer of Love, until I had finished everything offline and had a complete story to dribble out at regular intervals.

I had no idea how hard that promise/threat would be to keep.

(Major writer navel-gazing follows)

Counting is HARD! (Only for me)

Thanks to everyone who pointed out that I mis-numbered the last two chapters of Secondhand Life. I can only quote leaders and CEOs throughout history in saying:

"Mistakes were made"

...."by ME."

Okay, that last part is not a quote of any leader or CEO anywhere, ever.

But how I wish it was. ;-)

Secondhand Life - Part 39

It took a little convincing. Not that Matt wasn't open to the idea. Just that he was wary. It seemed too good an opportunity... and seemingly out of nowhere.

“So let me get this straight...” he asked ….yet again. “....you're leaving for your Asian tour....”

“...with the cast of Thornbirds. Yeah. A press blitz. We've already terrorized North America, Europe and bits of North Africa. So yeah... we're off to blitz Asia next week.”

“And you want me to come along as ...staff photographer?”

Secondhand Life - Part 38

We drove deep into the city. Through neighborhoods that I was certain Katherine had never seen, yet I recalled Dennis talking about their early days 'on the streets' back east before her discovery, and I knew she would find them all too familiar. Emile grew up here, and somehow found himself part of Katherine's world. It did not surprise me that he knew these streets well.

As we were driving, I took the opportunity to grill Matt.

“So Tiny Tim. What's with the crutches?”

Summer of Love - Part 12

Things were settling into a groove. ...or actually a set of parallel grooves. Life was kind of mellow and comfortably predictable. Until finally Colin saved up enough and he and Kesey set back out on the road.

And I found myself in jail.

Summer of Love - Part 11

While I enjoyed seeing a lot more of my new housemate, I also began to worry.

“Shouldn't you be out ...I dunno.... busking or something?" I asked while I cut up some fruit for breakfast.

He just grinned. “What are you, the house mother or something? It's cool. Rent's covered.”

“I didn't mean it like that. Just.... you're a musician.... shouldn't you be... I don't know.... off making music or something?” I smiled.

Secondhand Life - Part 37

I was in the lobby of the spa 'waiting for my ride'.

In truth, my ride was discreetly nearby, waiting for ME. And I was waiting for Matt. I had given him the address and he had assured me that he would be here shortly.

While I was thumbing through an old issue of Conde Nast Traveler, my phone chirped.

It was Matt. He was outside. Apparently once he saw that the address I had given him was a beauty spa, he decided that he could not step inside. I shook my head and chuckled at the thought. I texted for our car and then texted Matt.

Secondhand Life - Part 36

I tried to sleep, but if I got any it was brief and fitful. I was a bit of a wreck the next day. Dennis understood and went easy on me. Mikey seemed to think I was hung over, and it seemed easier to let him think that. For whatever reason he went easy on me too, I was grateful.

I was sitting on the balcony just enjoying the warm sun and gentle breeze, maybe I was dozing in and out. Mikey came up behind me and gave me a gentle hug.

“I just wanted to say thank you for last night. ….and for everything actually.”

Secondhand Life - Part 35

Mikey was quiet and somewhat sullen as we walked outside to wait for our limo. I squeezed him into a close hug.

“I know you think this is the end. It's just the end of your coming out. Your introduction. You made impressions in there. So when you come back in act two, the players will recognize you as one of their own.”

Mikey looked up at me. “Do you really believe that?”

I nodded to him and turned to Dennis, who also nodded.

“I'm family, so I'm biased. ...AND... I'm here only because you let me be your plus one on your contest prize.”

Secondhand Life - Part 34

Dennis stood as I approached our table.

“Damn, girl” he smiled “I thought we were going to have to send out a search party”

I smiled to myself. We knew each other so well.

“It was crowded by the stage, so I took a detour... around the back bar.”

Dennis' eyebrow raised “Is that A&A?” He shot me an inscrutable stare. “How on earth...”

“One of the bartenders saw me passing and asked if I wanted 'the usual'...” I shrugged.

Dennis nodded. Apparently Katherine's 'usual' was a state secret to everyone but the bar staff.

Secondhand Life - Part 33

The limo was waiting when we landed downtown. Apparently Dennis called in a favor from Haute-Shot's bank, so we got to use their rooftop pad. On the way to the restaurant, I had a chance to brief the guys.

Secondhand Life - Part 32

Mikey and I were sitting over iced teas and snacks discussing our 'Asia blitz'. He seemed a little distracted.

“....What?....” I asked him.

He shook off his distraction and glanced at me. “Huh?”

“You seem distracted. Penny for your thoughts.”

“US or Australian?” he laughed hollowly.

I simply raised an eyebrow and cocked my head.

“....I was just thinking.... it's been a pretty wild ride... way more than I expected.... than either of us expected?”

My nod was as understated as his declaration. He laughed again. It still sounded conflicted.

Secondhand Life - Part 31

While Mikey and I were trolling the internet for customs, cultures and quirks of the various countries we would be visiting, my phone chirped with a text.

I figured it would be Dez, although I considered it might be Eoin or Kirk. A little voice in the back of my head thought it could even be Bianca.

Nope.

I swallowed hard when I saw the 203 area code.

What the hell happened?

I quickly excused myself from Mikey and curled up into a chair in the corner where I cradled the phone between my folded knees and texted her back.

Secondhand Life - Part 30

When I arrived at the rehearsal studio Eoin was already there chatting amiably with Kirk and a bunch of the USC kids. I really didn't know much about Kirk or Eoin's history, and I presume Katherine never gave it any thought, but judging by their easy banter, I guessed they knew each other from way back.... probably from their musical theater days back east. They seemed to be regaling the USC students with war stories, and it was immediately apparent that this group was quickly fusing into a team.

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