Laika

Humor Me ~ Part 4

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In which our Technicolor Angel's gruesomy dark side emerges, and she tolchoks me soundly from gulliver to yarbockles, leaving your humble narrator one bruised and weepy and disillusioned young devotchka, who sadly concludes that she must leave the employ of this certifiable bozova, who has suddenly turned all brutal-like...

===== HUMOR ME
===== by LAIKA PUPKINO
===== Part Four: THE OLD ULTRA-SLAPSTICK

"OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ~Mr. Bill

Play Nice ~ Part 2

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Grandma ran the brush through my long straight hair. It was sensual, soothing. "So. Any questions about all this girl stuff?"

"You said when you body-swapped us that you weren't going to give us any pointers."

"I just meant don't be running to me over every little thing. And I was pretty angry then. I'm still your grandma. I'm a witch, not an ogre."

I thought about that little white bulb-thing I had seen sitting in with Joy's things in the bathroom. "Well okay. Then about, um, cleaning. I was wondering. When, or should I say how often ......... am I suppose to, uh- what I mean is, um ......... douche?"

PLAY . . NICE!
LAIKA PUPKINO ~ 2008
PART TWO: IN HER SHOES

Play Nice ~ Part 1

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There was never any love lost between me and my sister. We fought constantly as kids, and now as adults we still drove each other---and everyone around us---crazy. When our spell-slinging grandmother decided to teach us a lesson by body swapping us, our bitter feuding soon led us to a grotesque new form of combat, which before it was all over would get crazy indeed...

"You are gonna have SUCH a headache tomorrow!" laughed my sister as he started banging his head against the wall, grunting with each impact, putting a row of jagged craters into the plaster.

Smashing the nearly empty whiskey bottle across the end of the table, I raised it toward my cheek, tittering, "Gee, it's a shame what happened to your pretty face-"

We should have listened to Grandma. Terrible things can happen when you don't...

PLAY . . NICE!
LAIKA PUPKINO ~ 2008
PART ONE: MUMBO JUMBO

SRU: Operation Sucker Punch

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The top brass at Spellcrafters Inc. have it in for the Spells R Us wizard. They've brought in hired muscle from overseas to do their dirty work- a powerful magical mercenary named Necromancer Sato. Can Wizzie survive their deadly scheme? And will our "somewhat ridiculous heroine" Wendy manage to avoid getting caught in the crossfire? This is a wicked little story about an extremely nasty bunch of people. In the words of William Burroughs, "Hold back the edges of your gowns, Ladies. We are entering Hell..."
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Humor Me ~ Part 3

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Miss Tricia and Punkin Judy arrive at the worksite. The two clowns make out a bit, which sends P.J. to dizzying heights of love struck bliss. Over a series of vaguely surreal encounters, the imitation girlclown discovers s/he is passing as female without hardly trying, and that there is something quite nice about it. Which leads to a reaquaintance with someone dwelling deep inside...

======== HUMOR ME
======== by LAIKA PUPKINO
======== Part Three: AFTERNOON DELETE

"She's calling from inside, trying to get to you. All that woman really wants is you give her something too..."
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ~~~ Bowie/Ziggy Stardust

Humor Me

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>.<
Humor Me
by Laika Pupkino

PART 1: TURNING PUNKIN' JUDY
Prologue: The Last Days of Billy X === An Easy $50 === OH GOD IT'S A DRESS! === Clowns in Space

PART 2: DIVINE CHAOS
The Man in the Gorilla Suit is Me === Darkness at Noon === The Amazing Technicolor Woman

PART 3: AFTERNOON DELETE

Humor Me ~ Part 2

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PREVIOUSLY ON HUMOR ME: Billy X. had a crush on the little clown Miss Tricia, and he was delighted when she asked him to fill in for her sidekick one day. Secretly unsure of his masculinity, Billy had major issues with dressing up as a girl clown. But he got over them, got made up, and now---after a nice refreshing roofie nap---he is about to take his first trip out into the world "en clownne". Little does he realize that he has signed up for something stranger and far more consequential than just a one day job ....... AND NOW, PART TWO.

======== HUMOR ME
======== by LAIKA
======== Part Two: DIVINE CHAOS

Humor Me ~ Part 1

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THIS SERIES CONTAINS GRAPHIC DEPICTIONS OF FORCED BOZOFICATION, BIZARRE NOSE MODIFICATION, SELTZER-WATER SPORTS AND PIE PLAY. IF YOU DO NOT LIKE "CLOWNDOM" STORIES PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS ONE. IT WILL ONLY UPSET YOU...

======== HUMOR ME
======== by LAIKA PUPKINO
======== Part One: TURNING PUNKIN' JUDY

[===> As I review my notes here in this abandoned fun house deep in the Monkeyshine District, I am aware that this memoir has ended up a lot longer than the few pages I had assumed it would take. But the more I wrote the more important it became to chronicle the events of that day---my bizarre transformation and everything that led up to it---EXACTLY as I remember them. It would sadden me terribly to think that Billy Xenakis had disappeared off the face of the Earth without leaving at least some record. So please. Humor me here...]

The Incredi-Girls - a worx in progress

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THIS IS A WORK IN PROGRESS. IF YOUVE DISCOVERED THIS STORY & WANT TO COMMENT TO ME ABOUT IT, PLEASE DONT DO IT HERE, SINCE THERE'LL BE ANOTHER STORY HERE NEXT MONTH & YER COMMENT WONT MAKE SENSE. PM's ARE BETTER. HOPEFULLY THIS'LL BE FINISHED & ON THE MAIN PAGE ONE OF THESE DAY...

AIR

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When the place next to yours goes vacant it’s natural to wonder what sort of people the landlord will end up renting it to. Noisy? Quiet? Grouchy? Cheerful? Someone who will keep finding ridiculous things to gripe at you about, or a great new friend? And for someone like me there are concerns over whether they will be cool or weird about my being a transsexual…

The divorced mom who moved in next door was a bit odd----with all her emotions turned up to 11, and more prone to making every conversation about Jesus than I was used to---but she was definitely accepting, and fun enough to hang out with, and anyway I had a long history of befriending oddballs, so that she and her three adorable girls quickly became like family to me.

And then just as quickly, it all unravelled...

THE INCREDI-GIRLS
(A Veronica Nelson Story…)
by Laika Pupkino

This Quintessence of Dust

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Two astronauts return to Earth after fifty years in space to find a world completely depopulated by a terrible plague. The last survivors of a doomed planet, the two men eke out a grief-stricken pointless existence, foraging in the ruins of shops and warehouses as they wait to grow old and die. The fact that they are such good friends does help, but the crushing sense of loss and isolation is always with them. Until one day...

This Quintessence of Dust
or: EXTINCT 'R' US
by Laika Pupkino

This is the story they warn you about in those science-fiction writing seminars...

Life During Wartime

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The reviews page for a tale posted on the transgender-fiction site "HyperGraphia" in the year 2017 turns into a forum for the discussion of unsettling world events. The fact that few of these 22 reviewers seem able to stick to reviewing the story is somewhat understandable, given the unprecedented peril our planet faces. This is...

LIFE DURING WARTIME
A Tale of Alien Invasion
by Laika Pupkino

Springfield Is Burning

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SPRINGFIELD IS BURNING
A SIMPSON'S EXTRAVAGANZA

by Laika Pupkino

A medium sized American city is gripped by an unexplained outbreak of "gender inappropriate" behavior. A story comprised of vignettes and plotlines with a cartoonishly skewed perspective on gender roles and sexuality; featuring some characters you will probably recognise...

Thunderstruck

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A comment Erin made regarding her story SHOCKING PINK, about the role of lightning in various gender transformation stories (she cited Bob Arnold's serial ZAPPED and Julie O's FRESH START stories) got the wheels turning in my head for this one... a magical transformation story set in The Age of Reason.

THUNDERSTRUCK
by Laika Pupkino

0g Have Problem

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A caveman might be able to do it, but I've been a total klutz trying to submit my very first story to BCTS. Anyway Chris, everybody, after finally figuring this out, here's my entry into your Caveman Story Challenge:

OG HAVE PROBLEM
by Laika Rollingstone Pupkino

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Your zen koan for today: What did cross-dressers do before there were clothes? This is the tale of an enterprising young caveman named Og, which illustrates the old adage that necessity is the mother of invention. And sometimes of inversion. . .

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