Buyer's Remorse - Chapters 5 - 6

The Man in Red

Buyer’s Remorse Chapters 5 - 6

by Maeryn Lamonte
Copyright © 2023

This is an unpleasant couple of chapters. Please be cautious.

They involve a rebellious child who thinks he can get away with anything

An abusive husband who has similar self-centred views regarding his marital entitlements

The loss of pretty much the only friend in this lonely life

The former occupant of the life and her views on what she'd left behind

And the protagonist and her response to all of the above.

By the end, there are signs that the tide may be on the turn.

I should also mention that the manner in which the police respond in these chapters is purely fictitious and does not reflect actual practice in any way.

Buyer's Remorse - Chapters 3 - 4

The Man in Red

Buyer’s Remorse Chapters 3 - 4

by Maeryn Lamonte
Copyright © 2023

The new life isn't quite what he anticipated. He'd asked to be similar age, similar intelligence, same culture, not unattractive, and he'd been given all those things, after a fashion. What he hadn't counted on was being married to a fat, lazy and abusive husband with a couple of troubled pre-teen sons.

It wasn't the life she'd wanted, but was better than nothing?

Math for blonds

Did you know, some infinities are larger than others?

Yeah, I had much the same reaction. As in dude, what are you smoking, and where can I get some?

It’s true though. The proof goes something like this:

Integers are whole numbers which can be positive, negative or zero.

The smallest positive integer is one and each subsequent integer can be found by adding one to the last.

If there is a finite number of integers, then there has to be a finite number that is the largest integer. We can call this n.


Maeryn Lamonte Copyright ©️ 2024

Old friends
Sat on their park bench
Like bookends
A newspaper blown through the grass
Falls on the round toes
On the high shoes
Of the old friends

A gentle song. Lesser known perhaps but familiar to us both. The single hadn’t gone anywhere, but the album made it to the top of the charts.

I remember the last time I saw her perched on the far end of the bench. I’d walked about as far as my aching bones could carry me so asked if she would mind my joining her.

The Old Man

Maeryn Lamonte Copyright ©️ 2024

“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, thank you all for coming tonight. I realise it’s a little bit of an imposition for me to ask you..."

Everyone laughed politely, which only seemed to confuse the Old Man. I mean this was the New Year’s party, wasn’t it? And he’d all but told us attendance was obligatory. So surely he must have expected a good turnout.

That Damned Rodent

Maeryn Lamonte Copyright ©️ 2024

You never expect Hollywood to get it right, do you? I mean not in the slightest. Because why let reality get in the way of a good story? Pure escapism, which isn’t to say pure rubbish. I mean we all need to get away from the real world every now and then.

So anyway. Time loops. More common than you might think.

Your Promise to Me

Maeryn Lamonte Copyright ©️ 2024

“I don’t really want to go, Janet.”

There, I’d said it. I’ve never known why I find it so hard to be assertive, but it's especially hard with Jan.

She doesn’t like me calling her that, so of course, inside she’ll always be Jan to me.

Call it my little rebellion.

Maybe that’s where I found the courage.

“What do you mean? It’ll be fun. There be free food and free booze and loads of people.”

Second Star to the Right? Newly unabridged

Maeryn Lamonte Copyright ©️ 2024
I doubt this’ll count as it’s about a thousand words short, but just for the fun...

“Mr Smee! What in blue blazes do you think you’re doing?”

“I’m steering the ship, captain, like you said.”

“Then why, pray, are we going in the wrong direction?”

“No sir. I beg to differ sir. Not the wrong direction at all. You said, ‘Second star to the right and straight on till morning, sir.”

“So do tell me, you imbecile, why it is that we’re steering for the third star to the right?”

My Promise to You

Maeryn Lamonte Copyright ©️ 2024
Warning: This story includes mention of a suicide. Proceed with cation.

“So anyway, you know that New Year’s party my work always throws? Well, I asked Colin if he wanted to come, and he said no.”

“Sounds suspicious.”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought. I mean free food, free booze, a chance to let your hair down and boogie. I mean what’s not to like?”

“Absolutely. So what did you do?”

Yes Ma'am

Maeryn Lamonte Copyright ©️ 2024

"You know that film?”

We all looked at Caitlyn expectantly, but that seemed to be all she had to say for now. Her focus was on the varnish, and using it to paint my toenails, and that seemed to be limiting her capacity elsewhere.

“Oh, you mean the one with, erm...?” Alice tried. Sometimes all it took was a verbal nudge.

“Yeah, Jim Carrie. You know?” Caitlyn looked up from her efforts at the blank faces surrounding her.

“Ace Ventura?” I hazarded a guess.

Through the Looking Glass Darkly

Maeryn Lamonte Copyright ©️ 2024

So I’d bought one. It’s not as if I have a lot of people in my life, so the Christmas present budget is light. Sad, I know, but then it means I can splurge on me a bit.

I’d wanted one since they came on the market, but could never justify the expense. At least not until this year. This Christmas they had a sale with a humongous seventy-five percent off. which still put the price tag at a grand, but that was just inside my budget.

As long as I skimped elsewhere.

I Have a Secret

I Have a Secret

by Maeryn Lamonte – Copyright © 2023

I wrote this in response to a comment about nasty dads. I've included quite a few of them in recent writings - Seven Dresses, Candy Crush etc - and I'm not sure I can justify it, apart from a mentioning the general impression I have that rigid attitudes and unbending beliefs are more of a masculine trait than a feminine one. I realise this isn't true in all cases, so I wrote a story with a father who's more supportive than the mother, although she doesn't do too badly. Of course that dad's a bit trans, so not a typical male.

Please visit my Amazon store. The UK author page is here
and the Amazon US author page is here
Or just search for Maeryn Lamonte on Amazon

Seven Dresses - The Seventh Dress

Seven Dresses - The Seventh Dress

by Maeryn Lamonte
Copyright © 2023

Things are as good as she can hope at school, although home life is still difficult for Shelley. She's reached the age when she can start taking feminising hormones and thing change rapidly, with her body, with her boyfriend, with her father. A few more hurdles to leap.

Seven Dresses - The Sixth Dress

Seven Dresses - The Sixth Dress

by Maeryn Lamonte
Copyright © 2023

Shelley spends the last few of the holidays playing with neighbours and catching up on homework with a couple of new study-buddies. Then they invite her to hang out with a few friends at the mall. She agrees to go, because soon she'll have to do the same thing at school. What she doesn't realise is that most of the school rugby team will be meeting them for the event...

Seven Dresses - The Fifth Dress

Seven Dresses - The Fifth Dress

by Maeryn Lamonte
Copyright © 2023

With the issue of his prescription sorted, Michael - now very much more Shelley - falls into the more girly lifestyle she's always felt was missing from her life. She only has two weeks with her uncle and aunt though, and the prospect of going home becomes more daunting as the end of her stay draws to an end.

Seven Dresses - The Fourth Dress

Seven Dresses - The Fourth Dress

by Maeryn Lamonte
Copyright © 2023

Following Michael's embarrassing dream, Aunt Miranda has ideas on a few things that need to be done. The first involves a visit to a doctor and third a meeting with Michael's mum, for which (secondly) he rather urgently needs something special to wear.

For those of you who opened they third chapter early, please go back to it. I moved some text from the beginning of this chapter to the end of the last, so you may miss some relevant information if you just read on from here.

Seven Dresses - The Third Dress

Seven Dresses - The Third Dress

by Maeryn Lamonte
Copyright © 2023

With the girly side of Chaney's wardrobe to choose from, Michael was soon able to find something that suited him perfectly. The next challenge would be to find out how Aunt Miranda's neighbours would react to him.

Seven Dresses - The Second Dress

Seven Dresses - The Second Dress

by Maeryn Lamonte
Copyright © 2023

Having awoken something in the half hour alone with his cousin's bridesmaid's dress, Michael wonders what might be possible, especially with his father around. Fortunately for him, his aunt is also present and gifted with a little insight.

Buyer's Remorse - Chapters 1 - 2

The Man in Red

Buyer’s Remorse Chapters 1 - 2

by Maeryn Lamonte
Copyright © 2023

Imagine you met someone who said he could make your fondest dream come true. All he needed was your consent and a list of things you wanted in your dream life. With that he would look for someone who wanted your life and who met your own criteria and he would arrange for you to swap.

Only one thing. The more requirements you make and the more specific the requirements, the less likely he would be able to find a match. What would you limit your wishes to, and what might be the consequences?

Seven Dresses - The First Dress

Seven Dresses

by Maeryn Lamonte
Copyright © 2023

Michael Thorne has always known he was different, but his parents have left him with no illusions that what he feels is wrong. He struggles with it for much of his short life, then in the space of a few weeks, and a few dresses, he discovers… something new.




by Maeryn Lamonte – Copyright © 2022

This is another one I started last year then lost direction. When I picked it up a couple of days ago, the way ahead opened up quite quickly and this is the result.

Please visit my Amazon store. The UK author page is here
and the Amazon US author page is here
Or just search for Maeryn Lamonte on Amazon

Holiday's Inn

Holiday's Inn.png

Holiday’s Inn

by Maeryn Lamonte – Copyright © 2022

This one is pretty rough and ready. I only just finished it this morning and haven’t had a chance to proof-read it yet. Since I wrote most of it on my phone and have a constant battle against the stupid autocorrect, there may be some unusual sentences in there, but hopefully you’ll be able to make out what was intended. Please message me when (rather than if) you find any and I’ll correct as quickly as I can.

This one has quite a lot of sex in it, but I’ve tried to keep it more euphemistic than graphic, so hopefully it’ll more fun than anything. There is also a little violence and jeopardy later on, but in the in the same vein as George of the Jungle (remember that one?), nobody dies in this story, they just get great big booboos.

Anyway, this is sort of Christmassy which was why I wanted to get it out today. Season’s greetings to all and much love.

Oh yes, I’ve been putting some of my stories on Amazon recently. Most of them are still available here, but if you want a Kindle version (and watch this space for when I get the paper version worked out), then my Amazon UK author page is here

and my Amazon US author page is here




by Maeryn Lamonte – Copyright © 2022

I could apologise for this. It reads a little bit like I’m channelling a grumpy old Brit who feels that the wrong side won in 1783 but, truth be told, as with most wars, I think the wrong side would have won regardless of who surrendered first.

Anyway, the idea for this story came after a minor prang I had earlier this year, pretty much as described in the story. On the plus side, in real life I have my bike back and running better than ever, apart from a recent problem with the gear lever return spring which is unrelated to the accident.

I should say I’ve never been within a hundred miles of route sixty six and all the descriptions come courtesy of my mate Google, so you can blame any inaccuracies on him. I hope you enjoy.

Georgy Girl

Georgy Girl

by Maeryn Lamonte
Copyright © 2022

The picture may be a little misleading but should make sense towards the end. If you click on it, you'll link to the artist.
If you're not familiar with the song, you can listen to it here.
This story has nothing to do with either the 1965 novel by Margaret Forster or the 1966 film that was based on it.
This is my second entry in the competition. Since it's not being voted on (but rather judged) I'm happy that posting more than one entry isn't going to split the vote. I know any author can only place for one prize, which I think is a great idea, I'm just offering up a bit more choice. This is shorter than 'A Change of Heart', but it probably has a little more of the current me in it. The other was more the me from thirty years ago.

girl with grumpy cat.png

The Girls' Changing Room - Chapter 18 - Epilogue

Chapter 18 – Epilogue
by Maeryn Lamonte – Copyright © 2021
Hogwarts thumbnail.png And here’s the last chapter. Whether or not I write another with Lori, I haven’t decided. As I may already have mentioned, I’ve found it really hard writing in someone else’s world. Besides, I want to get some of my own stuff out there. I have a few of my old stories up on Amazon:
Tales of All Hallows Eve
With one other, “Flip”, due to go up later this week. Once I’ve worked my way through the intricacies, I’ll make them available as print copies too.
I also have an all-new story with the working title of “Glitch” or maybe “Fzzzt” which will be going up on Amazon sometime hopefully before Christmas.
In the meantime, thanks to those of you who’ve stayed with me to this point. I hope you’ve enjoyed the story, and please remember to tip your writer (by which I mean comments or private messages. This is a derivative work and is posted free for your pleasure.)

The Girls' Changing Room - Chapter 17 - Redefining Normal

Chapter 17 – Redefining normal
by Maeryn Lamonte – Copyright © 2021
Hogwarts thumbnail.png I planned to post this earlier, but I came down with some sort of food poisoning or irritable bowel thing and my body insisted I sleep most of the day. Feeling better now, but the last posting – the epilogue – needs a bit of work. I hope to get it done today, but it’ll be late

The Girls' Changing Room - Chapter 16 - The New Normal

Chapter 16 – The new normal
by Maeryn Lamonte – Copyright © 2021
Hogwarts thumbnail.png Apologies for the delay, but I ended up rewriting a lot of this. It’s about 5000 words longer than the original, but I think it works better.

The Girls' Changing Room - Chapter 15 - And Into the Flames

Chapter 15 – And into the flames
by Maeryn Lamonte – Copyright © 2021
Hogwarts thumbnail.png There was quite a lot that didn’t read quite right in this chapter. I’ve fixed most of it, but may want to come back to it at some time. Please let me know if anything feels ‘off’ – even a little.

The Girls' Changing Room - Chapter 14 - Out Of the Frying Pan

Chapter 14 – Out of the frying pan
by Maeryn Lamonte – Copyright © 2021
Hogwarts thumbnail.png I rewrote the end of the conversation between Lori and Neville in chapter 12. I’d already rewritten the encounter with McGonagall where she mentioned evidence of a house elf from outside Hogwarts being involved, but I didn’t do the same for the Longbottom conversation and it didn’t fit quite right.

The Girls' Changing Room - Chapter 11 - Randolph's Tale

Girls’ Changing Room – Chapter 11 – Randolph's tale
by Maeryn Lamonte – Copyright © 2021
Hogwarts thumbnail.png This bit would either be two shortish chapters or one long one. Since it’s the weekend, I thought I might as well keep it as one long one.
Anyway, introducing Randolph the Rash.

The Girls' Changing Room - Chapter 10 - Into the Forest

Girls’ Changing Room – Chapter 10 – Into the forest
by Maeryn Lamonte – Copyright © 2021
Hogwarts thumbnail.png I’m aiming to post twice this weekend, so keep an eye out for another chapter on Sunday

The Girls' Changing Room - Chapter 9 - The Situation Gets Worse

Girls’ Changing Room – Chapter 9 – The situation gets worse
by Maeryn Lamonte – Copyright © 2021
Hogwarts thumbnail.png Chapter 9 marks halfway through the story. Hold onto your seats folks.

The Girls' Changing Room - Chapter 8 - A Day in the Life

Girls’ Changing Room – 8 – A Day in the Live
by Maeryn Lamonte – Copyright © 2021


Hogwarts thumbnail.png I’ve made a few minor changes (of little consequence) to the previous chapter. The afternoon spell practice now takes place in the training ground where I initially intended to put it (I doubt the whole school population – diminished as it is – would squeeze into any of the courtyards), and I’ve moved the location of Lori’s encounter with Raphael to the Middle Courtyard, otherwise being in the training ground would likely trigger her memory that she was expected to be there after lunch.

The Girls' Changing Room - Chapter 6 - Christmas

Girls’ Changing Room – 6 – Christmas
by Maeryn Lamonte – Copyright © 2021
Hogwarts thumbnail.png I rewrote the kiss by the boathouse scene. You can re-read it in context by going to the last chapter, or just read this excerpt:

They did exchange one more kiss — down by the boathouse, away from prying eyes and unwanted interruptions.

"That was nice," Anneka said as they parted.

"Yeah, I suppose," Lori agreed.

“Didn’t you like it?” Anneka’s brow creased with concern.

“It’s not that. I don’t know, I suppose I expected something more.”

“Maybe I didn’t do it right.”

“No, I’m pretty sure you did. I guess, maybe… I don’t know. Maybe I’m not ready for this… Yet.”

Anneka dropped her gaze. Lori reached out for her friend’s hand and gave it a squeeze.

“Maybe I’m just too caught up in what I’m going through right now. I mean I like you — you know, like really like you. It’s just…”

Anneka lifted her head and offered a fragile smile. “It’s okay, I mean we have loads of time, don’t we? This doesn’t have to be a now thing. It doesn’t change things between us, does it?”

Loris squeezed again. “Of course not. I mean friends first and forever, right?"

Anneka forced her smile a little wider. "Friends first and forever."

High up in the castle, Minerva's office gave her a clear view. She didn't like spying on pupils, but she’d been concerned. She let out a relieved sigh.

"Well," she murmured to herself, "there’s at least one problem can be put off for another day.”

The Girls' Changing Room - Chapter 5 - End of Term

Girls’ Changing Room – 5 – End of Term
by Maeryn Lamonte – Copyright © 2021
Hogwarts thumbnail.png Midweek update, which is better than you lot deserve. One measly comment! How am I supposed to get by on that? Thanks Heather, by the way. It was beginning to feel like Siberia for a moment.

The Girls' Changing Room - Chapter 3 - A New Cloak

Girls’ Changing Room - 3 - A New Cloak
by Maeryn Lamonte - Copyright © 2021
Hogwarts thumbnail.png And as a thank you for your patience (and because it didn’t take so much editing in review) here’s chapter 3 as well. It’ll probably mean I won’t get as many comments on chapter 2, but I hope that won’t be the case.

The Girls' Changing Room - Chapter 2 - First Day

Girls’ Changing Room

by Maeryn Lamonte

Hogwarts thumbnail.png

It took me a while to rewrite the conversation between Lori and Lysander. I’m still not sure I’m totally happy with it, but here goes.

I won’t give a preamble here as the previous chapter is somewhere around here for you to read if you haven’t got to it yet. Without further ado, here’s chapter two.

Turning to the dark side

I've resisted as long as I could, but the dark side has taken me -- I've started publishing my material on Amazon. It's a new thing so far with only Lifeswap available as a Kindle download (with a slight facelift -- the story is the same, but I've tweaked some of the bits I felt needed tweaking). The plan for the next few weeks (months?) is to do the same with some of the other stories I've posted here, making anthologies of the shorter works so each work will be 100k words or above, and making them available in digital or dead tree format.

The Girls' Changing Room - Chapter 1 - New Girl

Girls’ Changing Room – 1 – New Girl
by Maeryn Lamonte – Copyright © 2021
Hogwarts thumbnail.png Over two decades have passed since the defeat of Voldemort. It’s time for a new influx of students at Hogwarts, which this year include Luna and Rolf Scamander’s twins, Lysander and Lorcan. As is usual at the school of witchcraft and wizardry, things are not what they seem.

With apologies for applying a considerable amount of artistic license to these (and other) characters, let the adventure begin.


Subscribe to Maeryn