Ricky

Ricky

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Ricky

I'd be a garden variety crossdresser but since I don't have a garden (I live full time in an RV) that wouldn't be accurate. I'm an old fart - born in 1950 so you do the math - but try to keep a young outlook. Young, not childish, thank you!) My body is hopelessly male and thoroughly overweight, so my dressing is confined to my home. I scrupulously avoid mirrors in order to keep the fantasy alive.

Invasive Characters

I seldom wake up rembering my dreams, but this morning I woke up from an argument with a red headed, asshole boss in an office setting. After a few minutes I realized the redhead was an adult version of the photo I used for Lucy in The Elliptical Path. Good thing I'm not planning a sequel, I will hate to see my character turn into an asshole.

Nice Bras

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While doing the wash, my wife picked up my new bra and grumped that I had nicer bras than she did. It was my first underwire style and closed in the front, an experiment for me. (The experiment has been a success.) She said she wouldn't mind one in that color for herself. So what could I do besides log into Amazon and get her one in black and one in rose?

Davonna and Goliath

Life can be tough if you're an artist, and I don't want to hear any agita about whether a potter is an artist or craftsman. Craftsperson. Whatever. A painter uses his hands to paint, a musician uses her hands to play; I use my hands to sculpt wet clay into interesting shapes. Then I use my hands to pint them.

So: I'm an artist. Stop arguing!

The Simple Life

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Photo by Mikhail Nilov: https://www.pexels.

Remember back in middle school, when you had to take English? Maybe you don't, having mercifully forgotten the torture of middle school. Even though middle school was not something I really wanted to enshrine in my book of memories, I do remember Mrs Gore's English Class. A very appropriate name, Gore, as most of us felt we had been slashed to bloody ribbons by the end of the class.

The Elliptical Path - Part 9 of 9

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A Capitol Idea

Morning was the reverse of going to bed, with each of us getting dressed separately in the bedroom. Breakfast was simple, cereal and toast, and we were on our way. There was even parking near the place, so we walked over to the Capitol building. The grounds were huge and had several monuments here and there. We stopped at one and read the plaque.

"You've got to be kidding me!" exclaimed Caitlyn.

The Elliptical Path - Part 8 of 9

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Lucy Goes Visiting

So I put my bra, enhancers, jewelry and Mom's sweater in my backpack, along with the flats Caitlyn gave me. I decided to walk to her house, partly to give me practice walking like a girl does. The Internet is full of good advice. The other part was hoping that if Caitlyn came back to our house we could walk holding hands.

The Elliptical Path - Part 7 of 9

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Caitlyn, meet Lucy

"Hi Caitlyn. You wanted to meet Lucy."

Her eyes got wide, then she smiled.

"Hello Lucy. You're not what I expected."

"Should I go up and change back?"

"No! I just… Damn, you look cute!"

The Elliptical Path - Part 6 of 9

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Of Course It Isn't That Easy!

After all the excitement the day before, I slept in. Being a Monday, Mom had to go to work so I was home alone. As soon as I got out from under the covers I realized I was wearing a nightgown and not my pajamas. That brought back what happened the day before and I just had to smile. I hadn't been so sure when Mom suggested I could try being a girl over the vacation, but I had certainly enjoyed being Mom's daughter yesterday.

The Elliptical Path - Part 5 of 9

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Decision Time

Sunday morning. I suppose some folks would be getting dressed for church, but that's not what happened in our house. Mom hasn't got much use for religion. When I noticed that people like my buddy Jasper went to church on Sunday and we didn't I asked Mom why. I was pretty young then, so she just said something like she didn't believe in god.

The Elliptical Path - Part 4 of 9

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Revelation

"Remind me never to get on your bad side, will you?" I said, cautiously.

"Don't get on my bad side, OK."

"That's a promise! Of course I don't think you have a bad side."

"Flatterer."

"I try. You ever think of doing improv?"

"Nope. I spent all week rehearsing once Coach told me who swiped my bag."

"Then maybe a scriptwriter."

"I do like to write."

The Elliptical Path - Part 3 of 9

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Confusion

Caitlyn and her Mom went home, Caitlyn grinning from ear-to-ear because she left her bra and panties in my room and knew that I couldn't tell anybody about it. I have to admit I was thoroughly distracted as we watched the rest of the movie.

"You seem restless," Mom observed when the credits started to roll.

"Yeah. Caitlyn and I were talking and I'm confused."

The Elliptical Path - Part 2 of 9

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Indecision

Have you ever wanted to do something but hesitated because you didn't want to disappoint someone or maybe get in trouble? That was me for the next few days. I still wanted to get a closer look at the oval in Mom's bra, but wasn't sure I should. I certainly knew that a boy shouldn't be handling a bra - unless he was helping his mother with the wash - although how I knew that I couldn't tell you. It's one of those things that you soak in through your pores as you grow up.

Old age and the death of fantasies

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I have tried gluing on my breast forms a couple of times recently. It seems so simple in the stories I've read - and written. Instant gratification and a shapely figure, works every time! Not for me, within a few hours the darn things come loose leaving red, irritated skin patches that are painful and take a week or more to heal. I just figured I had a problem with the glue.

Life Almost Imitates Art

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I've never been a fan of dancing or cheerleading, but circumstances conspired to have me at a dance show for a local high school. It happened like this: my daughter (now in her mid-forties) just got a job working at the high school as a restorative justice counselor, where she meets a whole lot of the students. The cheer squad was planning a big show on stage, and when some of them found out she had been a professional dancer in her youth they talked her into performing with them. In my totally unbiased opinion she did them proud, as a mature woman she still has the chops.

Abducted FOR an Alien

Where to start? There are so many places…

I could start with the weather, which was a gorgeous spring day. I could start with the restless feeling that overcame me as I woke on that gorgeous spring day; the kind of day you throw caution to the winds and do whatever you really want to do instead of what's sensible.. Maybe I should start at the HEB, but if you aren't a denizen of the Great State Of Texas you won't have the faintest idea what an HEB is.

See how hard it is to find a starting place?

Surreality

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So last night the wife and I had dinner out - not all that unusual. As we were leaving, a guy held the door for me, then complimented me on my shirt and earrings.

Folks, in real life I'm a very large, fat old man with a full, gray beard. Could I possibly been reverse-read? Did he somehow see my inner woman?

I did appreciate the compliment, though.

Catalog Shopping

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It's tempting to blame it all on my mother; haul out some psychobabble about how I was raised and childhood trauma and such. Tempting, sure, but anyone who has stayed awake through biology class knows that it's really all due to my father. Four sisters, one lone male - me. It's a biological fact that the male determines a child's sex at conception, but you try growing up as the last child with four sisters.

Window Shopping

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There are a lot of good things about public transportation: It's affordable, environmentally responsible, good for people watching, cheaper than owning a car. There a couple of bad things about public transportation: It's slow and you often have to spend a lot of time in the cold or rain walking to the bus stop or waiting for the bus. Maybe the responsible rider is lucky and has a subway stop in front of his doorway, but not so the hero of this story.

Some More Shopping

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Photo by Bruno Salvadori: https://www.pexels.com/photo/woman-wearing-red-dress-standin...

 

Daaaaaddddd!!!!!

Ah, nothing quite as heartrending as the plaintive wail of a teenage girl confronted with an intolerable family situation.

"But Mom was going to take me…"

Mary Payson - The Case Of The Inane Author

Mary Pason - The Case Of The Inane Author

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Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

Author's Note

I just spent the last couple of months reading all 86 of Erle Stanley Gardner's Perry Mason books. When my wife asked me what I was reading my tongue stumbled and I said Mary Payson. At that moment my Muse started doing somersaults and this is what came out. I'd apologize to Mr Gardner but he died long ago.

If you aren't familiar with Perry Mason, most libraries will have the books in printed or electronic form. They're well worth the time to read if you like character-driven mysteries. If you aren't familiar with Perry, you may find some of the references a bit obscure.

The Burglar

On The Whole, I'd Rather Be In Philadelphia

It was a gorgeous day, sun shining brightly on the ornamental gardens of the forty story condo building, I could hear the murmur of traffic passing on the street in front of the place. Eschewing the doorman at the front entrance, I pulled the rented pickup around to the service entrance and parked. I adjusted the visor on my cap, the one with the Cold Comfort Refrigeration logo on it.

It All Comes Out In The Wash - Part 10 of 10

Ryan Mondalmi

It All Comes Out In The Wash

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Photo by Kyle Roxas: https://www.pexels.com/photo/woman-in-blue-off-shoulder-long...

The Customer Presentation.

So we spent most of Monday night gluing Lori back together. We didn't bother with the makeup since I wouldn't be showing any seams. For all the good it did, Aida gave me a titty squeeze to welcome Lori back.

It All Comes Out In The Wash - Part 9 of 10

It All Comes Out In The Wash

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Photo by Kyle Roxas: https://www.pexels.com/photo/woman-in-blue-off-shoulder-long...

Sunday

Now we come to the reason Aida and I spent the night - attending church in the morning. My cynical self couldn't help but compare the Gabriel clan with those B movie mobsters that spend week raping, pillaging, boozing and blackmailing, then go to church on Sunday to thank the lord for their blessings. That has to rate right up there with getting fucked by some dude at your own anniversary party. I wondered if we should sit a few pews away in case there was an unseasonable lightning strike.

It All Comes Out In The Wash - Part 8 of 10

It All Comes Out In The Wash

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Photo by Kyle Roxas: https://www.pexels.com/photo/woman-in-blue-off-shoulder-long...

People Watching At The Party

With that he wandered to greet the guests as they arrived. We seated ourselves in the shade of the big tent and indulged in some people watching. Since most of the guests were of her parent's generation, we weren't disturbed for quite some time as guests greeted one another.

It All Comes Out In The Wash - Part 7 of 10

It All Comes Out In The Wash

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Photo by Kyle Roxas: https://www.pexels.com/photo/woman-in-blue-off-shoulder-long...

Sunday

Mom and dad were merciful, they didn't disturb us until we were ready to get up. It's a good thing we had gotten used to sharing a bathroom, because it takes a while to get beautiful. We didn't go all out like the day before, Aida gave us a much simpler look for a casual day. I resolved to start learning how to do makeup magic if I had any intention of letting Lori out more often when this week was over.

Life Is Imitating My Art

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One of my grandsons has just come out as a new granddaughter. Not that I am overly surprised, but living 2,000 miles apart we don't see each other very much. If there is anyone in the Buffalo NY area that can recommend a good therapist, I would be much obliged. Please PM me if you can help.

It looks like the start of an interesting journey.

It All Comes Out In The Wash - Part 6 of 10

It All Comes Out In The Wash

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Photo by Kyle Roxas: https://www.pexels.com/photo/woman-in-blue-off-shoulder-long...

Friday

That was one of the longest weeks in my life. I strove mightily to get things in shape so I could take the next week off. With Aida pulling evening shift so she could get the weekend off to meet my parents our only direct contact was last night's comedy. It helps when you're the boss, playing with the schedule is a bit easier that way. Also, her people were excited that she would be meeting her fiancée's parents. They were in on the scam with her parents, but not with the scam with me.

It All Comes Out In The Wash - Part 5 of 10

It All Comes Out In The Wash

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Photo by Kyle Roxas: https://www.pexels.com/photo/woman-in-blue-off-shoulder-long...

Stalking The Sparkle

I was out the door at quitting time, something that was not all that common. After all, what else do I have to do? Watch the tube, eat dinner, read a book, wash my clothes? Big deal. I liked my job and staying until I found a good place to stop didn't bother me at all.

It All Comes Out In The Wash - Part 3 of 10

It All Comes Out In The Wash

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Photo by Kyle Roxas: https://www.pexels.com/photo/woman-in-blue-off-shoulder-long...

The Realization

"Oh Lauren, I'm so sorry," cried Aida. "I was just so damn mad at that bitch with her 'bring your fiancé crap. She knew damn well that I don't have a fiancé."

"No, you've got a fiancée."

It All Comes Out In The Wash - Part 2 of 10

It All Comes Out In The Wash

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Photo by Kyle Roxas: https://www.pexels.com/photo/woman-in-blue-off-shoulder-long...

A Slight Diversion

At this point I have to admit to a certain ambivalence. I had fantasized about making love to Aida more than once, but I chickened out long before she could say 'yes.' At that point the memories of my first - and only - experience with sexual intimacy messed things up. Now she had unmistakably said 'yes.'

It All Comes Out In The Wash - Part 1 of 10

It All Comes Out In The Wash

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Photo by Kyle Roxas: https://www.pexels.com/photo/woman-in-blue-off-shoulder-long...

Friday Night Blues

Friday night. Here I am - single, free and easy, money in my wallet, the night is fine, the bars are open and…

The Carrie Conundrum - Part 6 of 6

The Carrie Conundrum

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The Calm Before The Storm

Life was good. I appreciated having Lucy in bed with me every night, Mom seemed to be happy with Lucy living with us, even if she rather thought of it as one of the sleepovers we had when we were kids.

The Carrie Conundrum - Part 5 of 6

The Carrie Conundrum

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Thanksgiving

Sometimes Chaos can be a good thing. The old place was filled to the rafters, but we managed to find places for both visiting families to sleep. I graciously volunteered to sleep at Lucy's place to make room. Hey - I'm a writer, I make up stories for a living. I don't claim they're convincing stories.

The Carrie Conundrum - Part 4 of 6

The Carrie Conundrum

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The Letter

I had fallen into the habit of checking the mail each day when it came through the letter slot. Today's missive contained something different: a letter with FINAL NOTICE prominently printed on the envelope. Mom was three months behind on her electric bill.

The Carrie Conundrum - Part 3 of 6

The Carrie Conundrum

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That Might Work

Sunday was quiet. I spent much of it dismantling my old twin bed and hiding it in the closet next to my useless Harry clothes. I got a piece of plywood to expand the surface of my old school desk, set up my computer stuff and went out to buy a decent chair. That old wooden thing I used as a kid just didn't cut it any more, even if I'd padded my bottom.

The Carrie Conundrum - Part 2 of 6

The Carrie Conundrum

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The Conference Call

I got Mom settled in front of the TV and went out into the back yard. I knew that my sisters were two time zones away, so it was evening for them.

"Hi Pam, It's Harry. I have some news."

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