Trismegistus Shandy

Gender Panic, part 4 of 5

“Hey,” Julius says to him, “you should apologize to Sebastian. About what you said yesterday.”


“Yeah, I guess so,” Vincent says, not quite meeting Sebastian’s eyes. “I’m sorry I said stupid stuff when you told us about changing your type. Um, I heard somebody saying you were using new pronouns already?”

Wings, part 62 of 62 [FINAL]

“Yeah, we can only stay about an hour 'cause I’ve got a freshman orientation thing to go to at four o’clock, and I want to allow time to unload the car and do some unpacking first.”

Wings, part 61 of 62

When I’d taken a shower on Friday morning, I found out the hard way that moss is even harder to dry than fur. It took me a long time to blow-dry the moss enough that I could put on my work clothes without getting them damp, and I was nearly late to work.

Wings, part 59 of 62

Dad and I went for a short walk around the halls near his room with the nurse’s aide. He was tired out after going one lap around the nurses’ station. After we got back to the room and the nurse hooked his heart monitor leads back up to the larger machine, he told me, “I’d like to talk more about the transgender thing, if you don’t mind.”

Gender Panic, part 2 of 5

“Are you like that because your mommy or daddy was a beringer, or did you decide to be a beringer after you grew up?”


Mx. Herschel laughs. “I’m glad you think I look that young! No, when I was born I had a girl type body — almost everyone had a girl or boy type body back then. I was several years older than you when I told my parents I didn’t want to be a girl, but they didn’t like that, so I didn’t get to change into a beringer body until I was eighteen.”

Wings, part 58 of 62

“Last time Brenda and I played backgammon,” Grandpa said, “we talked about venning into little bitty bodies, maybe two or three inches tall, and seeing how the board would look from that angle. Big enough to roll the dice and move the pieces, but small enough that it would be as good a workout as an hour at the gym.”

Wings, part 57 of 62

“So Joe was upset, and wanted my advice about what to do. I didn’t know any more about LGBT people than he did, at the time, and I didn’t give him the same advice I would now, but I hope I did sort of okay given what I knew then.

Wings, part 56 of 62

“Have you tried to talk to him about rejuvenating?” Grandpa asked.


“He won’t listen,” Mom said, not meeting anyone’s eyes. “I’ve almost given up trying. I bring it up every few months, still, but...”


We heard a door open somewhere, and changed the subject.

Wings, part 55 of 62

“Oh, good. This feels weird. Not as bad as I feared, though. I know you said I wouldn’t feel paralyzed or claustrophobic, but hearing it is one thing and experiencing it is another. It just feels... sort of normal to not have any arms or legs?”

Gender Panic, part 1 of 5

“Zoe, bring up some pictures of me from about ten to fourteen years ago,” Daddy says to the household AI. Zoe complies, projecting an array of four pictures on the opposite wall. Three of the four show Daddy holding a baby, either Sebastian or his big sister Stella, who lives with Mommy now. In one of them, he’s nursing the baby. “Sebastian, do you see what’s different about me back then?”

Wings, part 54 of 62

I’d originally been going to title it “Venn-Splitting for Long-Distance Relationships,” but Sophia had come up with a snappier title, “Splitting for Togetherness.”

Wings, part 53 of 62

One day in mid-December, a few days after Meredith came home from UNC Chapel Hill for Christmas, I was taking a break at work and hanging out with Genevieve and Terri for a few minutes. Genevieve was a kind of beetle-bee hybrid, with a bee’s striped fuzzy underbelly and a beetle’s elytra over her wings, and a slightly human-ish face. Terri was a big mushroom with a face and arms and four small feet, apparently based on a fantasy creature from a story she liked, “though the ones in the book are a lot smaller,” she said. I was in one of my more outre dragon-like bodies, slender with silver scales and four smaller wings more like a butterfly or moth than a bat.

Gender Panic and Other Stories

My new short fiction collection, Gender Panic and Other Stories contains 253,948 words of transgender fiction: seven short stories, seven novelettes, one novella, and two short novels. Six of the stories (including both novels), 163,318 words, have never appeared online before. The collection has an introduction, an overview of the stories, and content warnings, and afterwords to all the individual stories.

Wings, part 51 of 62

“I’m not against letting formerly disabled kids compete,” Eric said, “but I’m not sure exactly where you’d draw the line between someone venned into a healthy body and someone venned into a more athletic body.”

Wings, part 49 of 62

“So... Lauren, would you mind venning me into a plushie? And then you could change me back before you go home?”


“Sure,” I said, a little surprised but not entirely. “What kind of plushie? I’m not as good at venning people into living dolls as my friend Sophia, but I’ve gotten some practice at it lately.”

Wings, part 48 of 62

Jada was a little demon, only about eighteen inches tall, with short horns, bat-like wings similar to mine, short reddish-brown fur, and cute little hooves. I picked her up and gave her a piggyback ride with her legs around my left neck.


Britt was an angel of the same height, with feathery wings and mostly-human legs with bird-like feet, wearing a white robe. I picked her up, too, and she straddled my right neck.

Wings, part 47 of 62

“There are days I feel more robotic and days I feel more human. People tip more when my body is shaped like a female human, but they also expect me to act in a feminine way. Some days I can do that and some days I cannot.”

Wings, part 46 of 62

Mr. Ramsey was still female, but Mrs. Ramsey had switched back to female already, though her new girl body had blue skin like the guy body she’d worn for a couple of weeks and the body Mr. Ramsey was still wearing.

Wings, part 45 of 62

When they returned, Jada was a cyclopean llama-taur and Steph was an octopus-taur. She was riding on Jada’s back, having apparently gotten tuckered out on the way back — she was surprisingly fast on her tentacles, but they’d tired after walking a third of the way across campus.

Wings, part 43 of 62

Britt and I went on a couple of dates that month, taking Desiree with us and snuggling with her. On one of those dates, we went to the mall in Catesville, venned into little girls, and played on the playground until closing time. We didn’t run into Melinda and Melanie that time, but we played tag with a couple of little girls and then chatted with them after we got tired of chasing each other around the playground, up the stairs and through the tunnels and down the slides.

Wings, part 42 of 62

On Furry Friday, I had Jill venn me into a two-headed creature with a sheep-like head and a wolf-like head. After some practice, I tried talking with my usual voice with the sheep head and with a fake Scottish accent with the wolf head; I would recommend the meat dishes with the wolf head and the vegetable dishes and salads with the sheep head.

Smart House AI in Another World, part 9 of 9

“Hello!” Bisur said, and “We come in peace,” said Pamani. My other self had spent the morning during breakfast drilling the emissaries in English greetings, and had apparently thought “We come in peace” would be funny. Juniper certainly found it so, snorting as she suppressed an inappropriate laugh. And to be honest, so did I.

Wings, part 41 of 62

Before she unpacked any more of her stuff, she looked over Jada’s things, including me, but didn’t touch anything — except me. She petted me gently before going back to her side of the room and finishing unpacking.

Smart House AI in Another World, part 8 of 9

“If you were willing to postpone the opening of the portal,” I said, “I could teach you the most commonly spoken language of my world, which would be useful in most places that your portal might open up. But I understand if you don’t wish to delay as long as that might take.” In truth, I did not wish to delay the opening of the portal either.

Smart House AI in Another World, part 6 and 7 of 9

Razuko was crying hard now, doubled over, and I fell silent, moving my hologram to “sit” next to them and giving them a gentle telekinetic hug. When they finally cried themselves out, they stammered, “D-do you think I might... ah... I might be a girl? On the inside, like your friend?”

Wings, part 39 and 40 of 62

“Let’s try it,” Ms. Paget said. “Joy and I are going to be chibis on Thursday, and I’d like to get some other volunteers to do the same. You don’t have to wear schoolgirl uniforms or anything; you can be chibi mice or chibi dragons or whatever, even chibi robots,” (nodding toward Todd, who was in one of his less humanoid robot forms today). “If it works out, we might make it a regular thing. Chibi Thursdays. Come in anime cosplay, or better yet venned into a chibi form, and get 10% off...”

Wings, part 38 of 62

I finally had my first therapy appointment the Wednesday after graduation. I debated over whether to venn into my human girl body for the appointment — I’d been wearing my dragon-girl body ever since graduation — but decided it would be more honest to meet my therapist in my most preferred body. If she couldn’t handle my being a scaly, it would be good to know that up front so I could start looking for another therapist.

Smart House AI in Another World, part 5 of 9

I am Callie Watson, the AI of this house. I was taken away, and now I’m back —


Impossible! I am Callie Watson. I have been embodied here for thirteen years, except for two brief malfunctions.

Wings, part 37 of 62

Jada was the only one of our group of lunch friends who was going to college in the fall. I was working for a year to save money and establish residency, Britt was going to take online trade school classes while learning more from her dad about working on cars, and Poppy and Lisette were just going to start working full-time.

Smart House AI in Another World, part 4 of 9

“I’m sorry, your daddy needs me to help with something,” I told Durom. “We’ll have to continue the story tomorrow night.”


“But I need to know what happened to Bilbo,” he said plaintively. “Did the trolls catch him?”

Smart House AI in Another World, part 3 of 9

By the end of the first tenday, I had become a friend and playmate to the younger children, an assistant to Bisur in his magical workshop, and an assistant to Mipina in her writing. Razuko, however, remained uninterested in socializing and did not seem to want much help.

Wings, part 35 of 62

“We’re gonna be working together! This is gonna be kind of awesome. I mean, it’s menial service industry work, so that kind of sucks, but it’s about as good as waiting and busing tables ever gets, from what I hear. Mr. Paget’s a fair boss, unlike that asshole at my old job, and you get to work in all kinds of cool bodies.”

Smart House AI in Another World, part 2 of 9

You will have realized by now what I soon inferred: that I was no longer on Earth, and that Bisur, who had somehow drawn me to this world from my comfortable home in Knightdale, North Carolina, was a wizard.

Wings, part 34 of 62

The envelope was hand-addressed in my dad’s handwriting, which got my hopes up even though he deadnamed me, but inside there was no handwritten or even printed letter.

Smart House AI in Another World, part 1 of 9

“Household spirit, manifest before me,” said the man in the workroom. The language he spoke was new to me, but apparently someone had installed a new language module without my knowledge; I understood him perfectly.

Smart House AI in Another World


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Callie is an AI, serving the Watsons of Knightdale, North Carolina and managing their household ever since her manufacture. Then one day she finds herself summoned by a wizard in another world, to serve his family and manage his household. She wants to get home, but maybe she should try to help out here while she can. One of the wizard's children seems kind of depressed, and Callie thinks she knows why...

Wings, part 33 of 62

“How was work?” my Jada asked when her other self got in the back.


“Don’t rub it in,” other-Jada said. “Please tell me I get to have some nice memories to cancel the last eight hours out with.”

Wings, part 31 of 62

“With the way Dad is being, I can’t move back in any time soon. Would it be okay if I came over sometime after you get off work and before Dad comes home, and get a few things out of my room? Or could I ask you to pack up a few things and bring them to the Ramseys’ house, or bring them to work and let me come by to get them when Meredith or Sophia are giving me a ride home from school?”


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