Hey everyone, It's been a REALLY long time since I posted a blog here, despite working on a lot of the things behind the scenes still but shit has become very different recently and I was urged to let yall know some of what's going on.

Currently, my little family is homeless. My wife, our son, and I are residing in a single hotel room with the help of an agency but we are only secure here till January 3rd as of right now. The agency might be able to help more, but we don't know yet.

I am at a crossroads of emotional confliction.

It has been a long time of pain & misery, the loss & abandonments & all the other devilish evils that continue to plague me.

My life has been a burden of extreme hardships, continual abuse, unrelenting strife & reoccurring defilement.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2023/02/28/anti-trans-...

Copy and paste looks like hell, and it's almost 5am and too late for me to try and edit it to look good...

Well hello, my lovelies.

I am still alive, for the moment.

I did survive 2 rounds of Covid & at least 4 shelter quarantines & close contact, because of outbreaks.

It has been some time, since I updated you & believe it or not, things have slightly gotten better….. but nothing is without its consequences.

The title kind of says it all, a Russian Court has dissolved the country's largest GLBTQ Rights organization and the foundation that controls it, for trying to spread a GLBT Agenda

under the guise of a charity and said its activities are aimed at changing legislation, including the Russian Constitution

https://outsidethecloset.com/2022/04/27/russia-contines-to-f...

I wrote this after responding to a self castration story, and a suicide storie.

This deals with those of us that are born with a small extra amount of flesh between our legs, that stamps us as male, and set us on a fixed course in life.

I often wonder. If men and women were treated the same, dressed the same, played the same roles in society. Would those that hate their bodies feel the need to end it, or remove the offending parts?

First, Id like to express my humble appreciation for the attention New Tale has received. Though I would not classify it on the same level as many of the fine works on BGTC, the response to its message is more than I would have hoped for.

This story has been an addiction for the past four years. One which has never drifted far from my attention, even when greater priorities took center stage.

Sometimes, it is difficult to put things into words, emotional turmoils, horrific memories & when these things are at the peak of your being it is all you can really think about.
I try, to do my best, I try to give to others within my capabilities, I try to be there for people, I try to live, I try not to cause my own demise, I try to do alot of things that that are in the hopes, more rewarding for others then it is for myself.... I know I sound like a martyr, but whatever.

... think of committing suicide?

And I am not just saying 'thinking about it on a whim' but really constructively planing it, date, time method, suicide note...

Or am I alone at the moment in planning to do this. I am sure some of you have read a bit about me, that I have shared in messages and comments, but very few, no let us make that no one knows that I truly am at the end of my rope, or should I say path.
And to be honest it does not really matter.

I've just come to the last of the four hundred and sixty six pages of this unfinished work modestly entitled 'Andi and Allie'. I need to review the last twenty pages and decide if this is where I really want to exit this tale. I have the feeling that there is much more to relate and I don't want to shorten what could continue on as a viable and interesting saga. So... In light of this development I hope the readers will be patient with me as I ponder the future of all the characters.

May We All Have Peace And Strength...

Kelly the Befuddled

So I have a chance to go out in a skirt as a guy . There is no way I could pass I am more biker than any thing else.
The reason I say I have a chance is I have an appointment close to Halloween. I could just wear the skirt to the appointment and see how it goes and see what people say. So what are your thoughts should I go for it should I not take the chance what.

For anybody is interested I have had my stories reposted. I was planning on reworking some to correct flaws and mistakes readers pointed out, but I just decided "Hell with it!" and asked Erin to make them available. Feel free to look them over and post a comment asking for clarification or to report problems.

I recommend these stories to start with. They best reflect where I'm at currently. Warning! These are not feel-good stories and may upset some. I urge you to exit right away if you find them upsetting.

Well, I'm not registered over at Whateley (on purpose) so I can't comment there. And even if I could, it wouldn't do the reader any good, due to their comment system. There is a fairly new story posted, titled "All The King's Horses", its a first generation canon story. I'm not going to spoil it for anybody, but I need to say this: For people who suffer with PTSD, this may very well push some buttons for you. It did for me. It is well written, I'll give it that.

I've been reading some stuff on the net, stories and opinion pieces and my mind drifted back to what sometimes pops up here. So please, let me ask a question.

Would you spank a child?

Beyond that we see petticoat punishment being used around here in stories. But if you ran into something like this would you support it? Would you yourself use it?

My personal opinions.

No. For both.

A friend posted something about folks using pics to try to blackmail people online.

http://t.co/WP0O1PeTE3

She was mainly aiming at the Littles community, but it applies to many of us here. If you aren't willing to post the pic publicly, you might not want to send it to someone you don't know really well.

Also, a warning for the under 18 folks. Sending nude pics to someone can get *you* busted for producing and distributing child pornography. It's happened to teens in several states.

Just for grins and giggles!

It’s important to remember to drink responsibly. But for those of you who are likely to ignore this advice, here’s a fun lesbian drinking game to make the office party or lesbian happy hour even happier.

The Lesbian Drinking Game

http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2015/03/30/fort-me...
http://www.csmonitor.com/USA/2015/0330/One-dead-one-injured-...

Did they think that women would have an easier time getting past the gate guards?

TRIGGER WARNING: TRUSCUM!

This cute comic depics a serious issue:
http://assignedmale.tumblr.com/image/107391530817

Unfortunately for Sandrx they very much exist. In my old group we called them Benjies (Harry Benjamin Standards of Care) as they actually think there is such a thing as a "true Transsexual."

Several of my (cis) friends shared this article link around earlier today, and I thought I might bring it to the attention of you all. While I might wish that no one on this site would ever need such a thing, I know that's far from likely.

New Suicide Hotline Dedicated to Trans People Now Open for Calls

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/courtney-odonnell/transgender-...

Note: I live about two (2)to three (3) miles west of where Michelle Sherman's body was found. It is a high crime area, according to my real estate broker.

shalimar

Today is the official 75th anniversary of the beginning of WW2. It is celebrated world wide with strong countries conquering smaller ones and the murdering of peoples whose only crime is what they believe. Guess we have learned nothing in 75 years.

shalimar

Mainly because no one was here to stop me when I did this. Where's an adult around when you need one?

I wish I could die. I lack whatever drives people to do that, but i wish I could.

Hi.... So a couple weeks ago I posted asking for help, and I was given a lot of info that did help.

We have next week, an appointment with WIC and an appointment next month with a few other services.

Unfortunately, because Amy is on SSD (Disability), the state of NJ considers her money "Un-Earned Income" so it counts against us double/triple when it comes to SNAP/FoodStamps and similar services.

Right now, if we can make it through this month, and the next, December and on are looking QUITE WELL....