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My heart goes out to my fellow trans ladies out there struggling with Depression and thoughts of harm. I have only been 'out' to the world since last Labor Day, having been firmly in the closet since age 7-8. This past holiday season was my worst ever, being shunned by my children and a large part of my relatives.
I wanted to share something that has helped turn my life around, mentally. I have begun to volunteer in some local organizations. I tutor at-risk grade school children after school 2-3 times a week for an hour. I also help serve breakfast to the homeless and less fortunate on Saturdays.
I can tell you from personal experience that this has enabled me to focus on helping others and making a difference in my little part of the world. There is an abundance of opportunities to help your community, no matter where you are. If you google 'volunteer opportunities near me' you'll be surprised. 'VolunteerMatch.org' is another resource.
I'm sure that people that I am helping know that I am a trans woman, but I have never gotten a bad response.
Dana
Comments
You are.
You are a beauitful person inside and out. Being trans does not define you, you define yourself. You always off encouraging words to us here who are struggling or starting out. You never fail to be that helping out hand. You are a angel in a world of hurt. The world is a battlefield, those places you volunteer are hospitals for the wounded and the ones needing help. You are a nurse, tending to those who have been hurt by the world. I consider it my great privilage to offer you up daily as I pray the rosary and ask that all you do be blessed. I know I can't be there physically with you. But I hope I can with you in spirit.
I can’t say it better
Sunflower-sama speaks for me, too, Dana.
Emma
The Dalai Lama. . .
. . .tells us that the source of all happiness is a sense of kindness and warm-heartedness towards others.
Your approach to life reflects the Beatitudes.
You're terrific!
Jill
Angela Rasch (Jill M I)
Good Friends
Thank you Sunflower, Emma, and Jill. Your friendship is so inspiring to me. I love you gals. :DD TAF
DeeDee
Fond memories
I still have fond memories of our afternoon together last July. In general that trip had a pretty devastating aftermath for me, because there were some massive PTSD triggers. But our meeting is still one of the big and positive highlights.
Hamlet
I'm very glad we met too, Jessica. I was nervous leading up to that day because I wondered if the border crossing guard would let me through with my male passport, even though I was dressed like a woman going to an event. He didn't even look twice, just asked me where I was going and to have a nice trip. But the whole trip was fun. That was my first time eating lunch as a woman, and my first time going to a play as a woman (going with a girlfriend). Even getting coffee and tea afterward was fun as we chatted with that father and daughter.
Thanks for the note.
DeeDee
From the mouths of babes
I can totally understand your worries about the border crossing. This trip was also my first international travel in my feminine persona, also with my “original” male passport and airline ticket. As it turned out, I was only subjected to a secondary [manual] passport check at the exit control from Germany, since it seems that I had not quite figured out how to handle the automated system. Entering Canada and later re-entering Europe went without a hiccup.
The only sour note was the Air Canada agent at the check-in desk in Toronto, who while handing me my boarding pass said: “There you are, Sir! Have a nice flight.”
And it was also my first time going to a “social” event in a full female presentation. And on top of that, it was in a [to me] foreign country and environment. That was an additional level of stress, especially given all that restroom intolerance that had been coming out of North America in the months prior. But that turned out to be a non-issue at this venue.
I agree with you on the chat with that father and daughter in the café afterwards. I found it so affirming to have them share with us that it was a regular father-daughter event for them. Especially so since my community of origin is still actively denying the existence of single fathers. Going so far as to implying that I do not exist, because I was a single father and single fathers do NOT exist in “our” community.
But I want to end this on a positive note. When I arrived at the home of one of my cousins, I was greeted by him and his six year old son. He started to introduce me by my male name, but then he asked me for my preferred name. I told him that I have chosen Jessica, but either name is fine. So he crouched to his son's level and introduced me as Jessica. The little guy stood there, looked me up and down twice, and the stated very matter-of-factually: “Jessica, you're beautiful!”
Down on their luck...
I've often found many "down on their luck" people can see through bull**** very quickly. People who are struggling and have been through struggles. They see people faking things and being false. I wonder if that's why the most support from random people I've gotten in being trans is from such people. They immediately see the honesty and strength in what I'm doing and respect it. They know it's who I am.
I'd imagine that's why you've gotten a lot of fulfillment from your volunteering, and not just from "giving back." The people you're helping know what you're doing for them, and immaterial matters like gender aren't a concern. They don't have the time or energy for the posturing "established" society has. They don't have time for "politeness." They know what's real and know you're real.
Agreed
When I first started dressing in public I almost expected to get negative looks and comments. But after a short time, it simply became a non-issue. I just enjoy being myself and feel that by being a positive person I may support other trans people.
However, I do see a purpose in volunteering, especially in tutoring and substitute teaching. I feel it's important to be able to pass on our experiences to the next generations. If I have the chance I may even run for elected office.
Thank you for sharing your comments and your wonderful stories, MsWooly. :DD TAF
DeeDee
We Need People Like You
Dana, Thank you for being who you are, and I wish you a beautiful future.
Gday
Thank you for the kind words, Joanne. And a big thank you for co-sponsoring the Resolution Contest! :DD TAF
DeeDee
I'm glad you're finding volunteering helpful
huggles!
Treasure
Another huggles from Dot! woohoo! :DD TAF
DeeDee
Courage
The haters want to keep you inside, in hiding. To make you afraid to show your face or be part of their world. You do not let them. I like that.
Astrid Eriksson
Fortunately
My state, Michigan, has perhaps the most LGBT-friendly governor, and hence, government in the whole nation. I do feel an obligation to keep my little light shining brightly. :DD TAF
DeeDee
The reason it helps
Is because it stops you just thinking at yourself and to look outwards and see the bigger picture. Whenever I feel fed up, I just think about Ukraine and Gaza, where people have got real problems.
Angharad
I can't even imagine
We are so fortunate not to have to wonder if we are going to make it through another day. But the circumstances that some trans people face every day can also be grave. It is too easy to look in a mirror and say 'woe is me'. I do feel blessed in many ways. Thank you for taking the time to comment, Angela. :DD TAF
DeeDee