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Well, since it seems that my worst fears about chapter 2 of "Case file 2: the Profiler" were in fact less than the reality, and the chapter has gone over like a lead balloon, I'm going to publish the third and final chapter now, and end the story.
Sorry it disappointed people. Sometimes, I guess, some ideas I have just dont fly.
Comments
I told you this in private
I told you this in private but I am saying it in public: you have created a new, unique world that is just opening up. I wish you reconsider, it is just getting interesting especially with the now second twist you put into it.
I hate popularity and what it does but it sucks that a great story gets ignored and an author feels like crap for trying something different all because their name isn't one of the popular choices. I understand myself getting ignored but Dorothy? She is doing something intriguing and doesn't deserve to have her story brushed aside like that!
I'm told STFU more times in a day than most people get told in a lifetime
Presentation is so important
I've just had another look at the story - not the actual content - simply how it was presented to the reader.
Firstly, it's a pretty off-putting title. It sounds as though if you click on it, you'll be told to go and read something else before reading this. And guess what? That's exactly what happens. I read the first few paragraphs of the chapter 1 and it's clear I can't pick up the story at this point.
Every story needs to attract new readers and every click on your story is precious. You have just a few minutes to grab the attention of the reader and make them want to carry on reading.
So if readers are important to you, and clearly from this blog, they are, you need to put yourself in your readers' shoes. What will make them click on the story and how in those first few paragraphs can you keep them reading?
Why not give a 50 word summary of what they need to know to continue reading? And make it punchy rather than trying to get as many facts as possible into a few lines. Or put a bit more explanation into the opening so new readers can pick it up?
You're probably right to cut your losses with this story but we all learn by our mistakes. Good luck and best wishes.