Here I am, 21 years old and longing for someone to love me. I have my adopted family but it’s not really the same. My transition was rough and no guy really wanted anything to do with me.

At the time it didn’t bother me as I was in transition and really wasn’t trying to please any of the guys I went to school with.

Well now I have my man and he is everything I ever wanted. Sure I’m short and can never carry a child of my own but that doesn’t matter to him. He loves me for who I am, the beautiful girl that had all he ever wanted. We are engaged and will be getting married next year.

I have my issues and my fiance knows that, it doesn’t bother him at all. My bedwetting isn’t an issue for him as his family all dealt with it at one point or another. He even helps me get ready for bed which makes me happy as I it makes me feel loved after all I’ve been through.

He makes me feel like I’m worth something, he tells me how lucky I am to be the size I am. Being 4’2 and weighing 55 lbs has it’s perks but also has its downfalls. Having to shop in the girls section for clothes isn’t fun at my age.

The clothes I fit into make me look like a 5 year old if I shop in that area of a store. Nowadays I have my clothes custom made because I don’t want everyone thinking I’m a 5 year old when I’m out alone.

Even though I am of age to drink alcohol, I can’t drink it because I’m allergic to it. Having to sit in a car seat though is something I wish I didn’t have to do but, I’m under those regulations so I’m kinda stuck there.

Halloween is actually pretty amusing in my case because I fit into some pretty cute costumes if I ever wanted to actually participate.

Sometimes I wish I could’ve been born normally without being as short as I am and also have been born a natural female.

Back to the bedwetting thing though, I never stopped having the issue not because my body wasn’t producing the hormones to regulate it but because I have a condition that regresses the bladder muscles. To add to that I have a small bladder in general due to my size and it makes for a bad day sometimes when my body decides it doesn’t want to function correctly and pretty much turns me into a toddler for the day in that regard. When such days decide to happen I end up hanging out with my sister in law and her two daughters who are 2 years old and she helps me out during those days because on days like that I can’t feel anything down there and I’m basically urinary incontinent on those days.

I guess being my size makes it easier to find protection that fits me properly for both day and night. It annoys me that it even happens at all, but my doctor recently told me that the regression has stopped and I should be able to turn it around. Good news about that though is that my sister in law has offered to help retrain me in that regard when she potty trains her daughters so I guess that’s a plus I guess in the fact that I won’t be alone in doing this over again.

For now though I’m in protection 24/7 because the regression has made me incontinent at this point and I have no bladder control at all.

Having to wear protection all the time really sucks. Not knowing when your body is going to decide it is going to let go is really painful mentally.

All I ever wanted was to be normal, I never got that and it hurts, really badly.