The Last Forgiveness

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The hospital just called, Jeanne died this morning at about 12:50 a.m. I had last seen her at about 10:00 p.m. when her other best friend, Sandy, and I left the hospital. We had spent about four hours with her, telling her we loved her and that she had our permission to do what she had to do.

I washed her face and cleaned away tears and stroked the pain lines between her brows until they smoothed out. Sandy rubbed ointment onto her feet. She opened her eyes once but she did not seem to see us.

I went to tell her that it was okay, that we knew she had to go, and that all of our friends wanted her to know that they will take care of me for her. I told her that I forgave her for having to leave so soon if she would forgive me for staying behind.

Goodbye, Jeanne, my gentle babe.

Your babe, always and forever,
Joyce

Billie Jeanne Gerrib - 20 May 1947 to 30 October 2004

Comments

Condolence

Erin
to you my hartfelt condolence its hard to say how sorry i am for you even thow weve never met you have became close by giving this site a life by bringing us this coumuinty as into a famley you a Mom as a child of this i cry my sarrow for Joanne shes in a better place up aboue .Erin feel my embrace from a child to a Mother in grief
With Love to you
Melissa

Erin: My condolences on yo

Erin:

My condolences on your loss.

As I've said before, I'm not really a religious person,
but you and your loved ones will be in my thoughts.

Once again, you have my sympathy.

Hugs

to help ease you in Jeanne's passing. You have done so much for others and now you have suffered a great loss.

I never met or knew Jeanne, but knowing you, she must have been a wonderful person for you to have formed your bond.

Don't worry about this site and us for the time you need to grieve. You have our love and understanding.

Hugs and Love,
Cindy

My condolences

What an empty sounding phrase, for all the emotion we try to pack into it.

Erin, the wheel of life has turned for you and your friend, and run you over in the process. I am sure the emotional pain is as bad as any physical trauma may be. Especially, since mingled in the grief for your loss, there may well be a few flakes of relief that Jeanne's suffering is over, and she can sit back and watch you cope with her absence. I hope you can catch the occasional glimpse of her smiling on you in the time to come.

If there is anything I can do to help, don't hesitate to ask. You have given so much, you deserve a bit back.

If nothing else, know you have my sympathies, and support.

Hugs,
Dana...

My deepest sympathy

There isn't really any more that I can say. My heart is with you.

Love and hugs,
Joanne

Hugs for Erin

Hugs Erin...like most of us, I have been the person who has had a terrible loss and I have also been the person seeking to comfort someone else who has had the loss. In either situation, there never seems to be any words that anyone could tell me or that I could tell them that could help ease the pain. So first and foremost I give you HUGS, which usually seem to help me when words can't. Secondly, having read your message I think you gave your friend the three things that she needed most. You gave her your presence, your love and finally your permission. The first two were easy and the third as hard as hell, but you did them because you knew it was right. I am sure your friendship made Jeanne's life better and in the end, it made her passing easier. The thoughts and prayers of the community are with you and if we can help, you need but ask.

Hugs and Love Maggie

My Sympathy Also

Dear Erin,

I didn't know Jeanne except from what you have shared. I do know you from your works and efforts here. Something I consider to be a selfless and worthwhile pursuit. I also know that if Jeanne earned your love and devotion she must also have been a good person.

I mourn the passing of her physical body with you. But I firmly believe that her body was only the shell that Jeanne walked around in while she was here and that the essence of what made Jeanne special still exists.

Bless you and comfort you.

fregen

a linkage broken, new one formed

Joyce, in true form you have shared yourself and been a focal point for our little community here, and in true form you have shared a painful event with us. That's what communities do.

You have a talent for vivid imagery and I know that will sustain you as Jeanne lives on in those images.

It hurts now, and always will, which is what makes us what we are. We cannot turn from it, or run from it, all we can do is make it part of us.

Someday, some time from now, all this will emerge in some form where you again will share this with the community, in a story or a poem, or perhaps just a lucent ramble which strikes a chord.

Grief has a purpose, a very human purpose. In many ways it is the ultimate expression of love.

Your love for Jeanne was something you shared, as is your nature. Thank you for that and all the sharing you do.

sympathies,

Tyrone

Condolence

All i can give you is my condolences and a big virtual Hug.

I never met her but I'm sure she was a wonderful person. I'm sure she left in peace, having her friend and you beside her.

Hug...
Pierre

Condolence

Joyce
You have my condolences on your loss of your loved one. I'm not much for words. I will keep her in my thoughts as I'm sure everyone here will also. You have given so much to us with this site.

Sincerly,
John

Condolances

There is nothing I can say to ease your burden or I would utter the words immediately. There is nothing I can do to change this horrible reality, or I would alter the world with a thought.

I am here though and I pray for you and yours in this time of grief. I pray that time can ease your pain without losing the wondrous memories you and Jeanne have built.

Shade and Sweetwater,
NiGHTs

Condolences

Erin, know that you are surrounded by people all over the world who give you their hugs, wishing they could do it for real. Jeanne will be with you spirit and will live on in your heart forever. Be glad that you were with her in her final hours. I'm sure she heard you, when you said goodbye. That is something that not all get to do, when those that are close, pass away. Be strong and you will survive. Much love heading your way from New Zealand love from prue

Remembered and honored

Joyce,

I didn't know Jeanne personally. But the love you had for her and the love you had together shined through like a beacon with every update, reminiscence, and poem. That true light burned brightly at the end, filling my eyes with tears of sadness at her loss, but also of celebration at who she was, for although it is cruel to take a life too soon, and especially one so loved:

She loved and was loved.

She died knowing that she was loved.

She'd made the world a better place.

She left with honor and with respect.

She will be missed.

If I leave as well, I would count it a life well spent.

Sincerely,

Doug

"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony."

Mahatma Gandhi

Jeanne's passing.

Erin I am so sorry to hear this news. We know that this very thing could very well happen, and even though we know it might be inevetable it is still a very sad thing when it does happen. I know that there have been several times I talked with you about Jeanne's health being as we both shares the same affliction. Some how I thought that Jeanne would be one of the lucky ones and hold on long enough for transplant. I am sad knowing that this didn't happen.
I am at a loss of words right now to explain exactly how I feel, please consider this when you read my condolences, and know that I am sorry for your loss.
with greatest sympathy. RickkiB.

I am so Sorry

Joyce,

I've sat here for the better part of half an hour trying to think of something to say. All I can still come up with is I'm sorry for your loss. My heart and prayers are with you now.

Maggie

Longfellow on the subject

Erin,

I would like to express my sorrow at
your loss. Longfellow said it best I think.
This quotation always made
me feel better when I considered the
words and thought about things.

"Ere sin could blight or sorrow fade,
Death came with friendly care.
The opening bud to heaven conveyed,
and bade it blossom there."

My goodbye.

When the time comes to wrap ourself in the blanket of death and sleep the endless sleep, the sorrows and pain of this world are gone and peace descends upon our soul. The laughter and joys we had are not gone but live on in the hearts of the ones we loved.

The body is but a shell and Jeanne is still with us. Jeanne will always be with us as long as we remember her and talk about her. I have lost both parents and a sister. The pain is hard to deal with, but it will get better. It will never go completely away and there are days I still cry. But it will not always be the consuming pain that you are feeling now.

I wish I could be there to hold you and give you a shoulder to cry on when you need it the most.

Love,
Anthony.

My heart reaches out to you in sympathy and condonce.

As I sit here thinking of ones that have gone before us to a beter place my heart reaches out to you in sympathy and condolance.

I cannot imagine how you must feel. I only know I feel sad for your loss. Jeanne sounds like a great person who I wish I had known. While I'm sure that nothing can truely ease your pain, sometimes the presence and kind words of friends can be somewhat comforting in your sorrow.

In the past I have lost loved ones, although none as close you and Jeanne, and have later sometimes felt the presence of them watching over me and my life, cheering my sucesses and being there for my sorrows. I'd like to think that Jeanne is watching over you now, seeing how sad you are and comforting you as much she can, by just being unseen nearby.

My thoughts and prayers are with you both,
-Darla

Just a few inadequate words...

Death is inevitable as are the tears and pain from we who are left behind. We do not weep for their loss, but for our own. Death is but the inevitable transition; from pain to whatever waits beyond and with that death is not the enemy, but the release. Whatever it is that lies beyond this life Jeanne will be there waiting for you, she’s just gone ahead...just a little further along the road.

The only guarantees of immortality we have in this world are the impressions we leave on other people. Jeanne has left her mark in your heart and through out life you will keep leaving just a little of her in everyone you touch.

Keep on touching people,

Thinking of you at this time,

Hypatia

My condolences

Joyce,

Jeanne has left her physical body and left to a life without the pain that she was suffering. She will be best remembered by you, in your heart. However she will never be forgotten by the people who only had a tiny glimpse of her through your thoughts.

I hope that after the initial period of morning you remember her for the person she was; the way she lived her life and shared her joy with you.

With sympathy

Karen

condoleance

i am not so good in english to say my sadness, i am with you in thinking.

brudin, palanain of moradin.

condolences

i have been away for a while, come back with this shattering news. i am so sorry for your loss.