Passion is gone...sorry

I hate to do it but my heart isn't in writing anymore. I tried to be different this time but it flopped badly. Maybe I'm just not that good. More than likely people see my name and automatically ignore the story.

I have nobody else to blame. I fucked up badly. I shot my mouth off, earned a reputation for being a rude jerk who couldn't take a joke. I post a reply and things stop being fun, they start getting serious. I hate being "that person". I hate ruining the fun of others. I hate being someone who drives away people because I can't hold myself back and say something that angers or offends someone else.

It doesn't help in the least that I try hard to write. I am blessed with the ability to bullshit through several thousand words in an afternoon if I have the vague idea about where I want to go and what I want to say. Sadly, this is just pure crap. If this was the 1800s and early 1900s the garbage I put out would be penny dreadfuls, dime novels, or bad movie theatre serials.

My ideas are bad. I wanted to make something realistic but hopeful, instead what you get is the same plot rehashed over and over again with the same outcome: family bands together around a problem, throws legal might behind it, family comes out on top and stronger than ever. It's the same thing over and over again. Nothing changes.

I hate it. I hate more that the amount of time I put into it to make it readable and something that won't garner criticism for being grammatically incorrect or hard to read is countered by someone tossing together a story that gets nothing but praise and acceptance for doing the same thing. I can't understand it.

What's the point? Even when I try to do something different it comes off badly and doesn't make a dent. I've tried to write outside my comfort zone no matter what it still fails to get any attention except from the few who have been strong supporters for over a year and a half.

I just can't do it anymore. I'm sorry, the passion is gone. The ideas are dried up. The most recent ones have failed and the one I want to do can't be accepted as anything except a cheap fanfic imitation of the originals. The other original idea can't get out of the box because of fears of being a ripoff of better stories that have a longer, better history here.

Forget Efindumb exists. The author isn't an author. Efindumb is just a bad writer who pissed off a lot of people and who flooded the website with crap. Sorry. Just sorry.

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