Assistance on a story or two

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I've been having some difficulty getting my muse working, primarily due to extreme fatigue relating to shoulder pain (repair to a torn rotator cuff) and the disruption of life caused by flooding from Hurricane Harvey. I've been so physically, emotionally, and mentally exhausted that my muse seems to be on strike. So I've been doing a bit of reading, and I hit a story that is good, but the ending just didn't quite fit me. So my brain locked on a 'what if' - which got me to at least write something. But ....

I've got a bunch done on that (and the start of a new MAU story, but that's another matter) - but as this is a far cry from my usual fare, I could really use one or two people to review the bits I've got done for general 'feel'. Please note - this is NOT an opportunity to 'preview' a coming story, but a request for a serious critic and editor. I need someone who can give me good, honest feedback. If something doesn't quite 'feel' right, or doesn't fit, I need to hear that bluntly and honestly. If it leaves a sour taste in your mouth, I need someone who can tell me that and WHY. If there is something that you think would work better, I need to hear that, and again, the WHY. I'm a bit stuck because this story has a few elements which are unusual for me - workplace situation, authoritarian, punishment, hormones and changes, and more - so feedback is quite important. PM me if you want to spend some serious time helping me on this.

I have a partial MAU tale, too - and I could use a little help on that too - but that's SciFi and different from the first tale I described, so again, if you'd like to help with feedback, I could use the help.

Comments

Muse

Never thought I would here that your muse would be stuck for ideas, you need to let her have sometime off to recover send her on vacation to get some rest we all would understand.
In all seriously take your time to fix up the mess to hurricane left behind, hope it didn't leave you homeless good thing is you and family are OK everything else can be fixed.
So when muse is back from vacation looked forward to another great story posted by elrodw
:-) Richie2

If you want the opinion of a fellow writer...

If you want the opinion of a fellow writer then send me a PM with what you've got.
When I find the time I can give it a read and tell you about how believable plot and characters are.
Not sure if I can give you suggestions about how to get you unstuck. I can try though.

Send it over, Elrod.

I'll be happy to take a look at it and offer advice if needed.

Send it in a message here, I'll be sure to check it within several hours of receiving it due to my doing NaNoWriMo at the moment. I'm doing all right on that, actually, I produced just over 7300 words for it in not quite nine hours of actual "work" in a 24 hour period.

This is pertinant perspective to this discussion

“Remember: when people tell you something’s wrong or doesn’t work for them, they are almost always right. When they tell you exactly what they think is wrong and how to fix it, they are almost always wrong.”

― Neil Gaiman