Author:
It's been more than X amount of years I began warning the girls to find a lawyer before they found themselves facing harassment from the police or anyone else. Trying to think of who one could call when in the back of a squad car, jail, or at the very least pulled over on the side of the road is not a good situation. Back then finding a lawyer already clued in and sympathetic to one's situation was a crap shoot. Picking one out of the phone book was better than a ninety percent chance of ending up with a lawyer who was just as disgusted or more so than the police or the person who is harassing them. The other part of the equation was being dressed as opposite of one's birth gender on their driver's license was against the law in virtually every single state. It came under the broad term of being in disguise to do criminal activities. Yep, look it up. Every policeman, state trooper, sheriff was gung ho to enforce that one particular law. Stopping one whether walking or driving and asking for ID was NOT against the law. Well..., yes it was but that is a constitutional law and no one followed it. If they knew it they conveniently ignored it. Sadly, I'd go as far to say none of the girls knew it either. The lawyers they might have to obtain...? Nope or they didn't care.
Anyway, I got lost here in posting this nice piece of work by a lady who is up to date on the laws and called the police. Nice reverse of what things used to be as the police were protecting her rights.
Transgender woman says she was harassed over restroom at restaurant
http://www.wistv.com/story/38495213/transgender-woman-says-s...
Know your rights, have numbers in your phone you can call for help or protection. Looking it up later is always too late. Always be prepared for the worse. If it doesn't happen it's a beautiful day. If it does, you weren't caught off guard.
People this isn't advice only for those caught up in the boy-girl gender blender but for everyone. I'm not jaded but again I am. We worked from Detroit to Corpus Christi and hundreds of places in between. Been to the Atlantic and the Pacific, the Great Lakes and the Gulf, Canada, and Mexico. I met the dregs of humanity and the best of humanity. It's hard to tell which is which by looking. Be prepared.
Love all of you.
Stay Safe
Life is a gift. Treasure it until it's time to return it.
always
Barb
Comments
Hmmm
Constitution? Rule of Law? Maybe you and I aren't watching the same reporting on TV.
Your advice is good, but it assumes a societal underpinning that some in this country seem bent on eroding, if not destroying.
Jill
Angela Rasch (Jill M I)
Maybe it's just because Oregon is such a liberal state.
I was out for a late evening stroll in an neighborhood in Portland, OR know as "St. Johns" in the 1970s and was stopped by a Portland Police officer. He asked to see my ID. I showed him my male ID and he questioned what I was doing walking around dressed as a woman. I told him that I was just out for a stroll. The upshot of it was that he asked to do my cross-dressed strolling on someone else's beat.
The irony is that that police officer later became the pastor at a local church. I ended up attending that church and still know the ex-police officer/pastor. He's since moved to pastor a church in California where he is adamantly against California's bathroom bill. He did find out years after I started attending his church that I was trans. He confronted me about it. I told him that I was willing to do God's will on the matter and asked him to help me find scripture to show me just what that was. Now this man has a masters degree in theology and had once taught in a mid week service that it was required to have a minimum of three verses addressing the same subject in the same way to develop theology on any given subject. So if anyone could do it, then he should have been able. All he could come up with was that infamous verse in Deuteronomy. So much for a theology against cross-dressing.
I still attend that same church under a different pastor. He has become aware of my trans status and has agreed with me that it's between me and God. I'm a respected member of that church and friends with the pastor. He and I often talk and I've heard some of my opinions echoed in his sermons.
Hugs
Patricia
Happiness is being all dressed up and HAVING some place to go.
Semper in femineo gerunt
interesting
Now that I have read both sides of this story.
The other side of the story, the one the manager and the employee told was that she was stopped and asked for ID because the employee thought she was a "Man in a dress". She never once told either that she was transgendered and refused to produce to any ID showing she was female. When the manager threatened to call the cops, she left on her on free will then called the cops herself.
Now both stories converge and tell much the same thing once the cops arrived. But prior to that these are two completely different stories. Which one should we believe?
I worked as a bouncer at a club part time for several years, one of the things we did was to watch out for the ladies, make sure no men were doing anything such as harassing them, or trying to follow one into a restroom. Yes I've seen this happen on more than one occasion! And I've had the lady get in my face once or twice because she wanted him to follow her in there for reasons I'll let you guess about.
It is truly amazing what someone thinks they can get away with after enough drinks!
Now I've seen her picture and I will give her the benefit of the doubt and say that I think she had a few drinks and got belligerent with the employees, who was only trying to protect the ladies already in the restroom and things got out of hand. I seriously doubt she at any time said she was transgendered and would really like to know if she actually is under a doctor's care for this or was this some stunt?
In a completely different story Sarah Sanders was kicked out of a restaurant for the sole reason she works for Donal Trump.
https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politic...
Maybe she should have asked them to bake her a wedding cake???
We the willing, led by the unsure. Have been doing so much with so little for so long,
We are now qualified to do anything with nothing.
Regardless of what the manager and the employee said
they had no reason, legal or otherwise, to ask the person for ID, nor to prohibit the use of the bathroom.
District of Columbia Law:
"facility managers and personnel must respect a person’s restroom choice based on their gender identification or expression. More broadly, gender identity and expression are protected traits under District law and this means that discrimination in employment, housing, public accommodations or educational institutions is prohibited in our city."
Cuba Libre Restaurant policy:
"The restaurant’s rule is to allow guests of all gender identification to use the bathrooms,"
Fox news reported the same:
Something to remember
Acceptance is something that must go both ways. If you want others to accept your lifestyle, professed gender, etc. You must be able to accept theirs. I try to be as accepting as possible but if I saw someone that "Looked like a man in a dress" follow one of my granddaughters into a restroom, I would stop her too. My family's safety comes first. I would be polite about it and explain my concerns but would question "her" intentions.
As for this story, we are not hearing the whole story and we never will. Of course each side has a completely different version of what happened and this doesn't mean one side is lying, it only means that everyone involved saw things from a different perspective.
The fact is that the employee was trying to protect customers. It is a club, if women don't feel safe there, they will find another club to go to where they do feel safe. If women stop going to the club over half the men will leave too, as most are there to meet women.
Another fact, the way the law reads in DC a lumberjack with a beard that drags the ground could walk into the women's restroom legally. Although if questioned he would have to say that he identifies as female. Now we all know any place that allowed that to happen would quickly have no customers, at least no female customers.
Now one thing I saw in both stories is that neither side said she identified herself as transgendered, although in her story she stated she showed the manager the law regarding transgender use of restrooms.
So did she ever tell the employee or the manager that she was transgendered?
I truly wish that every transgendered person could easily pass as the gender they feel they are inside, but unfortunately there are those that do not.
My biggest fear with these laws that allow those that do not pass as their professed gender (let's face it, someone who passes would never gets stopped and asked which gender they are) is they they are written so poorly they give perverts and rapists the ability to follow women (and children) into restrooms.
We the willing, led by the unsure. Have been doing so much with so little for so long,
We are now qualified to do anything with nothing.
Things like this are the reason I hate public restrooms.
I mean, really: would it be that much more expensive for the facility to have individual small rooms with full doors -- just big enough for a toilet -- and then a set of publicly accessible sinks for everyone's use? It'd take equal or less space overall, remove any need for gender separation on the individual booths, and as an added bonus bring public shaming into the mix for all those who skip washing their hands on the way out. Win/win/win in my opinion.
Melanie E.
Melanie E. Sorry not a viable situation
Restrooms have evolved as we have understood the way germs and bacteria are spread. The sanitary aspects of a single toilet closet (trade term is water closet) would be a nightmare for cleanliness. The other thing is, how many of those puppies do you want lining down the wall? Men's and women's bathrooms are "ganged" back to back for plumbing and maintenance practicability.
There is no good solution to the GLBT and bathroom situation. No one is ever going to be happy to find Bubba in a dress or coveralls and work boots going into the ladies room. Bubba might be full transgender but...? The other problem are perverts claiming to be women who are going into the ladies just to ogle or worse the merchandise. Ninety percent of the women I know pack heat. They just aren't as open about it as I am. Even in self defense, killing a human is a huge load for the survivor to accept. There aren't any winners.
This bathroom situation needs an answer before bodies are carried out. I don't have an answer.
Stay safe
always
Barb
Oklahoma born and raised cowgirl
California
California law now says there must be at least one bathroom with a single stall that is not identified by gender in all new installations above a certain size. Many smaller places that have single stall bathrooms have just labeled both of them as non-gendered. Places like airports, hospitals, schools and stadiums have both gendered and non-gendered bathrooms. Not a perfect solution but a step toward accommodation.
This whole thing is pretty much a non-issue in most European countries and in many US states, as well.
Hugs,
Erin
= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.
What About Bubba?
by Laika Pupkino 2018
Sally Somebody was leaving the lady's room when a large homely woman who was applying lipstick in the mirror called out, "Hey, you forgot your purse!"
She hurried back and grabbed it, "Thanks!"
"You sure were in a hurry. Late for an appointment?"
"No," said Sally, "I just hate using public restrooms anymore; with this crazy new 'transgender' law our state has. I swear the world has gone crazy! Did you know that any knuckle dragging Bubba can just put on a dress and waltz in here to ogle the pooping women any time he wants; and if someone tries to stop him all he has to do is claim he's 'transgender'?"
"I wouldn't worry to much about Bubbas in dresses," said the deep voiced woman.
"You don't think there's plenty of perverts around here who would love to come in here to watch the ladies undress---or worse!!---now that they have a legal excuse?"
"Not really. Those Bubbas in dresses are largely an urban myth."
Sally shook her head, "If you believe that liberal propaganda you're hopelessly naïve!"
"I'm not, and I know what I'm talking about. The first thing you have to understand about Bubbas, is that they're incredibly insecure about their manhood. When they're not trying to prove their manhood to others they're trying to convince themselves what a manly man they are. So the last thing 99% of them want is to be seen in public in a dress. And any Bubba secure enough in his sexuality and gender to even put one on isn't a Bubba, because he would feel the need to sneak into the women's room to check us out... or worse!"
"You said 99%," said Sally, "That implies there's a one percent who would do that!"
"You don't have to worry about that either. There's something else that stops them."
"Really? You sure seem to know a lot about Bubbas."
"Well, the sad truth is-" the stranger hung her head, "I used to be one..."
Now that she'd said this the physical signs were obvious to Sally, but for some reason she wasn't scared of this person. Instead she dug a tissue out of her purse so the stranger could wipe her teary eyes, "What changed you?"
"One Friday night after work I was getting drunk in my Bubba cave and looking at pornography as usual when I had the brilliant idea to put on dress I'd stolen from a neighbor's clothesline just to get back at her for calling the cops on me about shooting my gun in the backyard and go sneak into the women's bathroom at Target. I knew about the trans friendly law and thought this would be my way to perfect crime. I was chortling creepily as I put it on, but then I caught sight of myself in the mirror."
"Did you think you looked ridiculous?" asked Sally.
"No. I instantly realized I'd been lying to myself my whole life, and that the person I saw in the mirror was who I'd been all along! I realized that all my boorish, macho behavior and my objectifying of women had been something I did to hide the truth of the girl I was from myself. I realized I'd been cutting myself off from all the best things a human can experience, and that despite all my professed bravery and toughness I was the worst kind of coward. It was quite a revelation..."
"Sounds like it!"
"It was. When I look back at the man I was I'm ashamed, but I'm pretty proud of the woman I've become. I'm a much better person these days. I'm not angry at the world, except for the inequities and injustices we women suffer; and at the sexist creeps like I used to be."
"Well I'm happy for you," said Sally, "But clearly you were the exception, and there's still plenty of Bubbas out there who would do such a thing. I just don't feel safe..."
"Maybe, but the funny thing is there are six other women in my trans support group who started out the same way I did, with the plan to lurk around some restroom and had the same revelation I did when they put on female clothing! We call ourselves the Bubbettes."
"You're kidding!"
"No, I'm Babs. And it was nice meeting you," said the woman, "But I'm late for an appointment, so have a nice day!"
"You too," said Sally as the woman rushed out. And then she remembered she hadn't washed her hands, so she did...
And remember...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ifLqzLEB3E0
"Like", "Kudo"
"Like", "Kudo"
Kris
{I leave a trail of Kudos as I browse the site. Be careful where you step!}
I spent a lot of time in...
I spent a lot of time in Japan in the 1970's, not sure how it is there now but back then there was no "Men's" and "Women's" restrooms. All public restrooms were co-ed everywhere I went, including Tokyo.
Maybe this is what we need in the US?
We the willing, led by the unsure. Have been doing so much with so little for so long,
We are now qualified to do anything with nothing.
That's probably one of the better solutions I've heard
If there was a fear of safety or peeping, fathers boyfriends acquaintances or even strangers could easily accompany a bathroom user to keep an eye on things.