12 - Why you haven't heard from me in months

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Hey guys and gals,

some of you might have been wondering just where I vanished off to.
Well, that is a complicated question.
The truth is I have a kind of- I wouldn't say existential crisis, but sort of yeah.

I was working on the fourth entry in my "undesirable classes" universe when I got thinking. (Which is never a good sign.)
Was the genderbending aspect of my stories becoming a gimmick?
Sure, some I wrote for fun and the answer there is: yes.
But others I wrote because I wanted to explore complex themes.
Throw different characters at it and watch how they handle the outcome.
To explore their character development.

Just how the fourth story in my UC universe pans out was clear to me for over a year.
But only now I looked at the character development of the main person and noticed something.
Yep, a definite lack of personal development. Most of the story is going down in the span of a day.
Hardly the time for big jumps in character.
And the ones that occurred had the bitter question attached: how much is it due to the gender change?

So I looked at the other stories I was developing and it looked bleak.
Yes, they all contained gender-bending.
Yes, they probably would be liked by many readers.
Would they satisfy my need to write characters that matter? Sadly the answer is no.

For a while it made me step back.
Not from writing, but from writing in the genderbending genre.
For a while, I toyed with the idea to switch to other genres under a new pen name.
And I won't lie. I am still toying with the idea. Strongly.
Over the past month, I collected story ideas in those other genres.
With plenty of good ones. But it made me realize something else.
There wasn't a rush of ideas like I had with writing genderbending fiction.

To develop a story with genderbending was a limitation that quite spoke to me.
To circumvent established tropes was a big part of the motivation for me.
Without those limitations, my creative energy was a little- Unfocused.
So, maybe writing a little genderbending mayhem was good for me?

So, all that being said where does it leave me?
I will be picking up writing genderbending fiction again, but not to the extent I did before.
Those stories I will write will be carefully chosen.
For now, the UC universe is on hold until I can think of a way to alter the fourth stories plot to hold more value.
Meanwhile, I will work on stories outside of the genderbending genre.
My goal here is to write a book and self-publish it. Which is a tall task.
One I am actually looking forward to.

At last an apology.
A few might have waited for stories by me.
You will have to wait some more. Sorry.
The good thing to take away is that I intend to write again.
Maybe being more careful in my selection of stories to write will show in the resulting quality.
Hopefully.

Thanks for listening to my rambling.
Hugs and kisses,
Cassy

Comments

I see where you are coming from, Cassy.

Monique S's picture

I think we all here started writing in one way or another while trying to come to terms with our fantasies or desires. It can b a great help but aso a great distraction.

For me writing has become a way to create a world I'd like to see around me. It became clear to me, when, during my attempts to better my French, I read George Sand's "la mare du diable".

I could tell strories about my way here to Brrittany, that could retsore faith in humanity were it not for the fact, that the humn animal seems to have a fatal tendency, to loose humanity more and more the more people gather in on spot by reacting like a heard of fightened animals. - but I digress.

I have written some fantasy srzff early on, that I woud not bother my urrent readers with, as today I prefer to write mostly reality based stuff with just a litte more "personal magic" in my characters, who are making efforts to make the world a better place with wht they have in means. My Steph charater perectly summed it up.

"If everybody just did what they are made to do best, with love and care for the world, we might experience a perfect order."
That is what I would suspect my meaning to be and perhaps your wish to write something more ... what? Important? ... forget it, too many different opinoins on that topic....meaningful? Hmm, yes better but please try not to preach, *giggles* so easily done, I do it every time I meet someone new, who starts asking about sustainble lifestyles. Value, you say?

Value ... Yes, I do have values. So do most others. I think we should uphold our values in what we write, not trying to convince, but give a different view on everyday life and, as that is what we are, Transgender, She-males, Cross dressers, Transvestites and all those labels, that manage to be completely unspecificad awlays do not quite fit right. I tend to get more and more impatient with scribbles, that only tickle just a personal fantasy/fetish. That may be the beginning of finding out who you are, but after the umpteenths story aolng the same lines? PLEASE, get real.

Not that I see any of that in your stories Cassy, but I hear you wanting more. Go for it, girl. I found it helpful to keep my stories mostly relity based and making my characters speak the truth as I see it. That is my way of grounding myself, my charaters and my story. It bcomes infinitely more difficult in a complete fatasies for me.

Monique S