Chewed out?

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I came on line here some time ago at the suggestion of one of the better authors. I don't say much. I can never say the right thing and I get misunderstood or embarrassed. Or, someone has already said what I was thinking. So, hitting the "KUDOS" button is often the extent of my comments. Many of the authors are extremely good and I enjoy the lighter, sweet and sentimental stories. Some of the science fiction is also very good. I also have some favorites as authors go. But it seems that I have been told, as I am not an author, I need to keep to myself when I tried to make a friendly comment to one of the authors. The comment wasn't derogatory, in fact, is was complimentary, so it hurt me quite a bit and I stewed over it for a week or more before deciding if I should just leave the BCTS for good. I came to the conclusion that it may not be me, so I am staying around. Many of the authors are so good that I wait for their next chapter as the week progresses. I will continue to read and stay in the background. My real life keeps me too busy to do any writing and I am not that good at it, anyway. But my relaxation is reading the fine authors here and buying some of their works for my Kindle.

Sorry for the rant, and I am just trying to get it off my chest as it were.

I won't be commenting much at all, now, since it seems to offend more than praise.

Comments

Some how

Hypatia Littlewings's picture

I believe most authors here would not want to limit comments to only those from other authors.

Remember just about anything said or done by anybody will find a few who object to it. cliches are cliches fro a reason, so as they say, "You can't please everyone".

This also goes for authors receiving comments, one voice doesn't make a majority opinion.

~Hypatia >i< ..:::

as a non author

Teresa L.'s picture

although i have tried over the years, i dont comment much as i feel i dont have the experience to properly critique things. i am a voracious reader, etc (although less in recent years) and i never want what i say to be held as criticism, but more constructive pointers i guess?

i leave lots of kudos, but not many comments on stories, the blogs, more so.

Teresa L.

there are

Maddy Bell's picture

some right twats on here, so far up their own posteriors that they can see the back of their teeth.

Please don't stop commenting, its the life blood to many authors, do blacklist the malevolent 'writer' - you can do that in your account settings.

Every single person visiting the site is valuable, we might not all agree all, or indeed, any of the time but there's no need to get personal about a comment.

Mads


image7.1.jpg    

Madeline Anafrid Bell

It takes all sorts to make a world

some are able to take constructive criticism and some are not.
We take the rough with the smooth and get on with life.
If one author has chewed you up, then don't tempt fate and pass them by should you feel tempted to comment on their works again.
Life is too short to tempt trouble.

Samantha

...a small add-on...

tmf's picture

Life is too short to not read good stories.

Peace and Love tmf

Peace, Love, Freedom, Happiness

What an odd thing to be told.

WillowD's picture

Most authors here love to hear from their fans and will usually chat back.

Most authors love to see comments under their stories. Among other things, it means you probably read the story. The read count can be misleading because that will include everyone that clicked on the story, then left after a few sentences.

When I'm really tired and can't think of anything better to say, I try to at least say "Thank you for the story." I especially rely on that for LadyDragon. I mean, how many times a week can you say "You're awesome. I love your stories." without starting to sound like a parrot? She posts so frequently here.

Muse fired up!

My5InchFMHeels's picture

Fired up indeed! Your muse is cynical! But we love her that way!

some people are like that...

Myself, I want all the comments I can get. I don't fancy myself as a very good writer, so getting comments make me happy.

Well, I can't speak for everyone...

Daniela Wolfe's picture

I can't speak for everyone, but I do appreciate comments regardless of whether or not they are from an 'author'. I don't know who was involves or why they would might be so hurtful, but it smacks of elitism which is not what bigcloset is about. Shame on them.


Have delightfully devious day,

So, you have discovered my reason

for not commenting any more. I would like to hop e that we are in the minority, but fear there are more of of us than I suspect. I no longer comment because there are too many that suffer from holier than thou syndromes... Good luck and hugs!

I love all comments (all of them)

BarbieLee's picture

Sometimes people get a little carried away. The only time I asked Erin to remove the comments was when they got nasty and hurtful, not to me but they were trading barbs with one another as they praised the story or tore it apart. Feelings were being hurt so I asked Erin to remove all of them to give everyone a cooling off period.

Tell me my stories suck, call me a neanderthal who never learned English for the crap I write. People I truly do love "all comments". Don't try and spike the other person who made a comment because they didn't agree with you. People, try and play nice to the other authors. Some really do get their feelings hurt if you tell them their baby (story) is ugly. And that is what most stories are to the authors who give birth to them.
Why don't my feelings get hurt? I'm not a writer. Never claimed I was.
hugs people
always
Barb

Oklahoma born and raised cowgirl

Wise to remember

erin's picture

Everyone here is wounded. That's why the three rules.

1. Keep it friendly. This is harder than it sounds when dealing with wounded souls. What feels friendly to you may feel threatening to them. All you can do is try and if you realize you have failed, an apology is good. I probably average two or three apologies a week.

2. Give the benefit of the doubt. You can't know what someone else is thinking, just as they don't know what you actually meant. So you need the benefit of the doubt yourself and it's as good to give as to get.

3. Remember, it's not about you. One way to think about this is if someone says something that you might take offense at, reconsider: what they said wasn't about you, it was about them and their history. This is almost universally applicable.

So, got a comment or reply that hurts? Be friendly in your reply, assume they didn't mean it quite in the hurtful way you perceived it and finally, what they said came from where and who they are, so it's more about them than it is about you.

Hugs,
Erin

= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.

Just Plain Stupid

joannebarbarella's picture

The great majority of authors love comments. Even if they are critical I value them. At least the commentator has read my story!

All I can say is that you should not be deterred from commenting, even if you do it by PM, and do not leave BC because a couple of authors don't like what you say. If you really don't like a story, OK, don't comment. It's your prerogative.

Thank you all

Bobbie Sue's picture

I see a lot of "common sense" in the room and so much patience and sincerity that it is almost scary. Everything is taken to heart. And, as an old person, I have tried to live by "Praise in public, correct in private" and I will continue to do so. I would never intentionally embarrass anyone either here or in person. There are so many great authors here that I would love to meet however I am content to read your work instead.

Again, thank you all. If I ever get the opportunity to write, it will be here.

HUGS for you all.

Bobbie Sue

My only comment

My only comment would be for you to just block that author. Read their story if you like them. IF they took the comment the wrong way and told you to leave then I would have. We here are not famous authors even though there are readers who place us there. I'm not H.P. Lovecraft, Mark Twain or R. L. Stine. Course I could name more but the point is that there are some who like to belittle their readers? Why? Sorry can't get into their head and honestly I probably wouldn't want to. Maybe they were picked on as kids and love to tear the wings off of fly's.

Their overall act though is intimidation. If you can silence one voice then its one they don't have to worry about. And you not voicing your opinion either liked or not is just a way of getting you to conform to their request. Look at history and how people were intimidated. It doesn't matter what country it is there are those that want to keep peoples voices from being heard for it leads to action.

So as I lied about my only comment, I hope to hear a response on why you feel the need to remain silent. I have my own share of pain and I'll never stop getting more until I'm gone. And that in itself is a pain that one has to face.

I may not be an author at times but as you said I'm a reader and for me to not voice my opinion on a piece of work would leave me in the silent majority.

I agree, but...

bobbie-c's picture

I agree with ib12us, that there are some who like to belittle their readers. Totally so - I have posted comments to some writers, and they were very like that. I am so affected that I rarely comment on other people's stories anymore.

I think it's more like a power trip for them, that they feel they're the ones in control, and, for whatever reason, they'd like to exercise and reinforce that sense of control and power. It's a common thing, I'm afraid. It's also like a sense of entitlement - that, because they're the writer, they feel they can do what they want. And that's why I don't comment much anymore. In fact, most of my comments nowadays are mostly limited to replies to comments on my stories. (So if you noticed that I only seem to post comments in my own stories, I'm not really being narcissistic. lol.)

But - here's where the "but" comes - more often than not, it's the reader who is the more "abusive" - he can post really mean comments and the writer can't do anything but sit there and take it. There are writers who are, in fact, so affected that that they redact their stories and leave the site (or at least think about it). And even if the site admin folk are vigilant enough that they take steps, it will only always be after the fact. Thing is, the reader can up and use another profile and continue on with their shenanigans, whereas the writer can't do the same.

Readers, more than writers, have the bigger sense of entitlement, for they think the writer has to "write good," that the writer is more like a supplicant, hoping that the exalted reader will like their humble offerings (that's an exaggeration, of course, lol, but you get what I'm saying, I'm sure). So more readers feel that they are in the position of power to lay judgement on the writer, and declare if the writer did "write good."

Seems to me, it's not about whether it's the reader or the writer. Seems to me, both can be an asshole. Seems to me, the point here is that one needs to exercise the same social skills when interacting with a reader OR a writer, or is in the position of the reader OR the writer.

Here's one thing readers don't seem to consider: just like a writer has responsibilities to write well, the reader has similar responsibilities - a responsibility to be considerate, to judge fairly and to be civil. Doesn't that sound reasonable?

Antisocial behavior isn't unique to writers or readers.

I don't really know how your interaction with that writer went. But if you, as the reader, was indeed being considerate, was judging fairly and was being civil, and the writer was being abusive regardless, then maybe you should report it to the admin folks? Writers often run to the cops (i.e. the admin folks) when they encounter abusive comments, but you should also be able to do the same thing when faced with abusive comments, and it should be immaterial if the other person was the writer or the reader. But if you weren't being considerate, fair or civil, well, then...

Anyway, that's just an opinion.
 

Writers & Readers

I've seen more than a few of the "You're just a reader, so shut up!" comments. I'm reminded of what someone said in a discussion about painters and critics. The artist said the equivalent of 'You're not a painter so how dare you presume to judge me?' The reply, something I've always thought also, was 'I know what I like and dislike. I won't praise something I don't like.'

There's a phrase, "Those that can, do. Those that can't, teach. Those that can't teach, criticize." The intent is to denigrate somebody's opinion as being somehow less worthy of consideration. Nonsense. You might downgrade someone's opinion if you are involved in the hard sciences and they are spouting disproven nonsense.

But if you are discussing something subjective, like who is a better painter or writer, then my opinion is just as valid as yours. There are some highly-acclaimed writers, here on BC or in the publishing world, whose work I wouldn't read if you paid me. My opinion, even if a minority one, that their work is garbage, is as valid as anyone else's. Stephen King is a case in point. I have read ONE story by him that I liked, the rest I mourn the waste of trees. Obviously not a wildly-shared opinion, but my opinion remains valid. Like it or not.


"Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.”
George Carlin

There is another response

There is another response and I hope it hits home to those that criticize their readers just as well.

Without us to read your work, why write it? For it will be like dust in the wind. To rot and decay without purpose or meaning.

There are those who write to entertain the readers and those that claim they write for themselves. Then why share if they are not expecting to invite critique? For no matter what you do someone will make a comment.

It is up to the creator of said work to either accept what is given graciously as they ignore the lowest denominator of rubish. But to slander someone's opinion is like claiming they know better then them for they too shall criticize other. No one individual can claim they made literature as with no one person can claim they are the foremost authority on what people should like write, paint or produce. That's what makes us unique.

I may know what I like but nothing says I have to like what I know.

Dear Reader

When I've just spent the last few months walking around inside your mind while writing my story, it would be very rude of me not to allow you to comment.

But beware, several years ago a person on FM made a comment about one of my stories that bothered me, so I made him an integral character in my next novel. His comment was part of why I left FM. The story is Exitus Acta Probat and the character is Andy.

Jill

Angela Rasch (Jill M I)